Chapter 12: Lockhart's Incompetence
"Stand back," said Lockhart who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves. As Lockhart pointed his wand at him, Harry kicked his leg up as hard as he could, hitting Lockhart in his knee. "Brachium Emendo!" said Lockhart loudly as he stumbled. Then his face turned a shade of green very similar to his robes, as he said "Ah. Perhaps the hospital wing would be best. I suddenly find myself needing to pay a visit there as well. If somebody could help me get there?" Lockhart's left arm now resembled a flesh coloured rubber glove, and his right leg had collapsed. He had intended to mend Harry's bones, but ended up removing his own.
When Harry and Professor Lockhart got to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was furious at Lockhart. She gave Harry a nasty tasting potion to drink that mended his arm within a few minutes. While he sat and let it work, he watched the highly entertaining sight of Madam Pomfrey shouting at Lockhart. "What in Merlin's name were you thinking?!" she screamed at him. "Using a Healer's spell in the first place, and beyond that, one unsuited to the problem! Brachium Emendo is for use on compound fractures, and compound fractures only, you imbecile! Of course, you would know that if you were a qualified Healer, which you aren't! It's just as well the boy kicked you and made you hit yourself with it, otherwise the charges against you would be worse!"
Lockhart's face went pale. "Charges?" he said weakly. "Yes, Gilderoy, charges. As in criminal charges. As a Healer, and more importantly, the Healer in charge here, in matters of Healing, I can bring charges against you, those being – Attempting to practise Healing without qualification, attempting to practice Healing on a child, and multiple counts of actually practising Healing without qualification, since Mister Potter was kind enough to mention that you said you'd used Brachium Emendo "countless" times. Oh, and in addition to the charges, you're fired. As Healer in charge, I have a duty to those under my care, and I find you a danger to them. And the Headmaster can't do anything about it. Not since Professor Derwent established in the school charter in 1741 that the school Healer has the authority to override the Headmaster in decisions or matters related in any way to Healing or the medical welfare of the students. And since I find you a danger to their welfare, I can override Professor Dumbledore's decision to hire you. Tomorrow morning, once your bones have grown back, you'll be leaving the castle and heading for a cell at the Ministry."
His potion having run its course, Madam Pomfrey let Harry leave the hospital wing, leaving Lockhart behind.
A/N: And the moral of the story – don't mess with doctors, especially not when they're the Chief Medical Officer!