Patrols and Paranoia
They don't have any classes together this year. It's the silver lining to the dark clouds shadowing their friendship. Two years ago, he would have sulked over this to no end, but now it's eight hours a day being trouble free. Eight hours a day that he doesn't have to hear Potter hit on Lily; Eight hours a day that he doesn't have to worry about Lily being targeted by his classmates; Eight hours a day that he doesn't have to make any choices.
Their energies are channeled in different directions too. Severus had received several letters and a visit from Antonin Dolohov over the summer. His abilities had been termed as impressive. The death eaters wanted him, and they warned him that he had to be worth their desires. He begins training himself in Occlumnecy and Leglimency, which in itself proves to be an exhausting feat. Exhausting, but helpful. It's like a sixth sense he never had, protecting him and letting him tread dangerous waters. Lily is geared towards excelling in her OWLs. She is borderline pedantic when it comes to her academics. The stress is visible in the constant crease that is always marring her forehead.
They've both been selected as prefects. Positions of responsibility in times of war tend not to be boons. The conflicts breaking across the castle are heinous and horrific. Almost every second day a student makes their way to the Hospital Wing. There are arguments and duels in every corner of the school. Neither any place, nor any student is spared. Lily and Severus often find themselves on opposite sides of the quarrels. It's a soft blow to their hearts every time their judgements mismatch.
It's all tearing them apart. Bit by bit, he can feel the shreds of their friendship fall away like Autumn leaves. Every conversation is a little more distant, and every glance is a little more hard.
They are both equal and opposite forces of values and beliefs. The difference is that Lily has strong threads that are holding her steady, while the only thread of support he has, is on the verge of snapping. Lily and McKinnon are now close as sisters. McKinnon is proving to be a band-aid on all the wounds Petunia inflicts on her. While McKinnon acts like her elder sister, Lily has stepped into the same role for Mary MacDonald.
Since the beginning of the year their friendship had been fragile. Severus knew his continuous abstinence from taking a stand against the purists had been nagging Lily. She hadn't said anythin yet, but the uncomfortable silences spanning over their small conversations told him that they were just walking around the elephant in the room.
It comes up suddenly, when he least expects it. It's their first trip to Hogsmeade. Severus is in Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, restocking his supplies for school when he sees the unmistakable streak of bright red hair. "Lily?" he calls out before he can stop himself. He catches her off guard and she drops the bottle of black ink in her hand, splattering it on the floor. She begins apologizing to the shop owner, using scourgify to clean up the mess she made.
"Lily," Severus speaks again to get her attention.
Lily looks up and inhales deeply - "Hello, Sev. I haven't seen you around in a while."
"Well, you know how it has been, what with all the pressure of OWLs and -"
"I expected that we will study together, help each other out." She looks at him biting her lip, he can only look at the ground.
"Of course. Our schedules have been so busy, I've been meaning to -"
"I'm glad I ran into you, Sev. It gives us a chance to talk."
"You are?" Severus feels like a huge weight has been lifted of his shoulders. She had been waiting to talk to him too.
"I have been meaning to discuss a few things with you. Let's walk?"
Severus nods, and they walk out of the shop together into a quiet alley.
"Sev, I have always respected the fact that you have friends other than me, just like I do"- She begins. "I know you detest Marlene, Mary and Remus just as much as I dislike your company."
"McKinnon and the others always have an agenda against me Lily, they've always tried to break our friendship. They are jealous of you having something special, just like your sister was" - Severus says the words he has long been holding back.
Lily pauses, probably stopping herself from saying what she really wants to.
"Be as that may be, and I am not saying they do any such thing, they will never try to intentionally harm you or any of your friends. I can hardly say that about any of your lot," she scowls.
"Who are you talking about Lily?" He wishes he wouldn't sound so exasperated.
"Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy. Do you know what he tried to do to Mary the other day?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Lily." He knows exactly what she's talking about. Mulciber had had several questions about the Imperius curse that night.
"I was patrolling the corridors with Amos Diggory a fortnight ago. We were almost done, we weren't even going to look in there - " She gulps as she recalls the incident. "We found Mary in a class room. Her sobs were so audible, we had to look. Her robes were torn, she had cuts all over her body, she was-' Lily is tearing up trying to continue. "He assaulted her and got away scot free."
"I'm sorry about what happened to her Lily. But I'm sure it wasn't Mulciber." Severus cannot look at her as he says this.
"You're sure? Really, Sev? Well, I am sure too. She said it was him."
"Lily he couldn't have gotten away with an act like the without any consequence. She may have been distressed by the trauma, or maybe she was confounded."
Lily stops dead in her tracks and turns to face him. "Funny, that's exactly what Mulciber said when McGonagall confronted him."
Of course he did. Severus had advised Mulciber on covering his tracks. Lily is quick to catch on to such minute details. "Thats probably because it's the only possible explanation Lily."
"Severus, he threatened to murder her family if she complained to the Professors. Do you think she imagined that as well? The only reason he hasn't been expelled yet is that there wasn't enough proof. McGonagall wasn't happy at all, she almost suggested Mary use the cruciatus curse on him. Dumbledore stopped her" she grimaces. Evidently, Lily agrees with McGonagall.
"Its a very serious allegation" Severus says now knowing what else to say.
"Severus you cannot deny the very real possibility that it is all true. And it's not just Mulciber. The other day Remus caught Bellatrix teaching Regulus Black some very dark magic on first years. Avery supposedly has been consistently owling death eaters about the "situation" at Hogwarts. Notts father is being hunted down by the ministry ever since those muggleborns at Diagon Alley were murdered. And Malfoy - "
"You're only repeating what people have told you. There's no knowing if there's truth to any of it." Severus stonewalls the accusations.
"Sev. People are not telling me this, the Daily Prophet is. They want people like me out of the Wizarding world. How can you be friends with them?" She asks incredulously.
"You are friends with people who'd rather not have me around." Severus retorts.
Lily's lips are pursed.
"Lily, what they think of you has nothing to do with what I think of you." He softens his tone.
"Sev, they aren't good people."
"Who are we to judge them?"
"Sev, why can't you - "
"You're saying these things because we haven't gotten enough time together. It's just insecurities haunting your thoughts. We should spend more time together, you'll know nothing is wrong on my end. You were right, we should be studying together for the OWLs. We always do everything together, don't we?" Severus is himself impressed by the conviction in his voice. Lily can only nod.
Its his first patrol after the Christmas break. The chilly weather has him continuously rubbing his arms and holding them close to his chest. His shift had ended about an hour ago, yet he is lingering in the corridors, curiosity keeping him away from the warmth of his covers. It's a full moon night. He had been waiting for this opportunity for months, all he needed was a chance to have the castle under his surveillance on such a night.
The Marauders have been acting suspiciously since the beginning of the year. No one seems to have taken much notice of the weird nicknames they've starting calling each other. In the eyes of the student body, it's just another cute attribute of brotherhood. It always has been common knowledge that Lupin's mother suffers from some kind of ailment that requires him to visit home every month. Though, it may just be a story woven around his periodic disappearances. All these years, it has been only Lupin, who mysteriously vanishes from the school grounds and reappears two days later with scars and bruises - marks that cannot be explained by any ailment.
In September, Severus had noticed that Potter, Black and Pettigrew were missing along with Lupin. They were quiet and sleepy all through the next day, and rather pleased and ecstatic all through the next few weeks.
By October he had realized that there was a pattern to these disappearances. It is always the night of the full moon. Knowing the marauders, it could just be a childish tradition of adventures they had started, sneaking out to Hosgmeade or elsewhere. But Severus finds it hard to believe that Lupin does so even when the full moon is a night before the Defense Against the Dark Arts test.
By November everyone knew that the bastards know their way around the castle better than the professors and the ghosts. Their pranks had gone up a notch. They would release a dungbomb in the dungeons and then would be found in the Gryffindor common room two minutes later. It was practically impossible for them to have travelled that fast, and they couldn't have apparated under any circumstances.
By December, it was clear to Severus, that the disappearances have more weight to them than being mere joy-trips. None of them go back home for the vacations, and for the first time in five years they miss the famous New Year's Ball at Potter Mansion. It's no coincidence that the night of Christmas eve is a full moon.
And now, it's the full moon in January. He is sure he will catch them today. He had tried to discuss the matter with Lily, especially the abstrusness of Lupin's situation. She was mildly angered when he suggested Lupin may not be entirely human. Those scars look animalistic. She insisted that all that mattered was that he was a gentleman and they should keep out of his private concerns. Lily and Lupin's bond had deepened over the last few years, making her increasingly fond and protective of him. They are close enough to make Potter jealous at times. Severus is sure that once the truth is out, it'll be heinous enough to change her opinion about Lupin.
He keeps an eye on the grounds through the large windows. He is watching guard for almost two hours, but there is no sign of them. He starts searching the castle, but he has to be discrete now. If he were to be found by anyone at this hour, he'd surely land himself in trouble. As he is skimming the corridors, he gets the feeling that he is being followed. But every time he turns around, he is greeted with empty spaces. It's quarter past four in the morning when he finally gives up and decides to return to his dormitory. Outside the entrance to the dungeons, he finds a basket full of pungent flowers. There is a small note sticking to the handle -
"Dear Snivellus,
Take your slimey nose out of our business and stick it in your greasy hair
Lots of love,
Messrs Moony, Wormtail,
Padfoot and Prongs"
Severus vows to find out what they are up to and oust them to the teachers once and for all.
It's a late Saturday evening in February. He is waiting outside the Great Hall, the point from where the patrols begin. The light from the crescent moon is illuminating all the corners and crevices almost as well as the sun does. He is scheduled to patrol with Lily today, and so he had been eagerly awaiting the evening. This is their first patrol together. He arrived early in the hope of getting a few extra minutes with her. This is a chance for him to spend more than an hour with her without them having to give any justifications to anyone. Lily must've been enthused by the thought of this meeting as well, because she too reaches fifteen minutes before they are scheduled to begin.
They start roaming down the corridors, neither seems to be in a hurry to round up the patrol. It's been so difficult to reach an understanding between them. Mostly it involves turning a blind eye to facts that are staring them in the face. Lily pretends there's nothing conspicuous about Severus being friends with the will-be deatheaters, Severus pretends Lily has no problems when it comes to him.
They are mostly silent through the hour. They haven't run into any trouble-makers yet. Many a times one of them opens their mouth to say something but then shuts up in the fear of starting another row. Finally Lily brings up the Charms essay Flitwick has assigned to their year, and they are able to stand on common ground. He cannot help but smile to himself at the sight of her. She looks so elated discussing the subject she is so passionate about. Severus doesn't think Lily even knows that her eyes have gotten brighter, and she is prancing ahead of him rather than walking. She is bubbling with ideas and information, chatting non stop. He can't remember the last time she was this much at ease with him.
They are just turning the corner on the fourth floor hallway when Lily runs smack into someone. A broad set of hands catch hold of her arms just before the impact of the collision can send her crashing to the ground. Severus is peeved to find that the hands belong to none other than James Potter. Potter's hair are messier than ever, his tie is loose, his shirt is untucked and the top few buttons are undone. With him is Felicia Flutterwinge, a blonde Hufflepuff from sixth year. Her hair are equally frazzled and her uniform also looks like it has been hastily put back together. There are no second guesses that they had been snogging in some broom cupboard just minutes before. To Severus' horror, he realizes that Lily is still standing rigid in Potter's arms, staring at him, making no attempt to move. Potter is looking right back into her eyes. He is holding on to her with a vice-like grip, while she is unconsciously clutching his shoulders, still not standing straight. Both seem to have momentarily forgotten about the people they had been walking with. Their faces are so close, Severus is surprised Lily can even stand the proximity. Potter bends his face lower to whisper into her ear, and Severus can faintly make out his words - "You look beautiful as always, Evans." In the silence of the night, the sound of Lily catching her breath is rather audible. "Hogsmeade?" Potter smirks, bringing his face back up to look at her. Her eyes flicker to Flutterwinge, who is now scowling, and then back at him, realization dawning upon her. She quickly and forcefully frees her arms of his hold and points her wand at his chest "Not even in your dreams, Potter."
Potter shakes his head laughing. He nods his head at Severus, "Good evening to you. too, Snivellus", and struts away with Flutterwinge on his arm.
Severus too begins to walk away, he doesn't want another encounter with Potter to spoil his night with Lily, but she is still staring at his retreating figure. "Potter!" She calls out. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being out of bed after curfew."
She swiftly turns and starts marching when Potter calls back - "Evans! Ten points to Gryffindor for having such a hot prefect."
They are both walking away from each other. She doesn't need to turn, when she fires the stinging jinx, neither does he need to turn when he blocks it. Severus sees the perfection of her aim, and the precision of his defense. Both are so familiar with this dance. It's an unintended understanding of each other that they have achieved. This, however, doesn't bother Severus. For two people who argue and hex each other as much as they do, it's only reasonable for them to be able to forsee each other's moves. What bothers Severus is that, for the first time, Lily isn't annoyed after an encounter with Potter. Upset, yes. Angry, yes. But she isn't annoyed. Severus cannot help but wonder, is she jealous? Severus tries talking to her, she responds in single syllables. They go about the rest of the patrol in silence, and neither says good night before going their separate ways.
A/N:- I apologize if this seems like a filler chapter, the incidents were kind of necessary to build up the story for later, even if they seem disconnected. Please RR :)