Chapter Twenty-Four: Road to Nowhere

"Love soon might end and be known in its aching." -Hozier

January 26, 2013 - Avengers Tower Labs - Manhattan, NY

Audrey wasn't a scientist in any professional capacity, but she knew enough about bias and ethics to recognize that Bruce couldn't be the one to design their Hulk experiment. The obvious solution was to utilize one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s many other scientists, but after Fury's rather ominous warning, she'd decided on the more convenient option: what was available to her in the Tower.

"This really isn't my field, you know," Jane said.

"Is there a field for this?" Tony asked, typing something into his StarkPad and then swiping at it until the image became a hologram above the table. Audrey tilted her head to the side, trying to understand the sketch he'd made. "This is my cabin upstate."

"I didn't really take you for a camping guy," Darcy remarked. She was perched on the edge of a neighboring lab table, picking at her nailpolish casually, swinging her heavy boots back and forth.

"Oh, I'm not," Tony assured her. "I inherited it from my Old Man, but I haven't been there since I was sixteen. It is, however, the most isolated of all the properties I own, which I think is what we're looking for."

"Probably," Bruce agreed, from beside Audrey. "You happen to have any tanks there in case something goes wrong?"

"Not on purpose," Tony replied. Audrey didn't know what that meant, but she knew that she didn't want to know, either. "It's got security cameras, though, but nothing around for miles."

"That's good," Audrey said. She could see the beginning of a wince on Bruce's face, and she covered his hand with her own under the ledge of the lab table. "It is," she insisted. "We'll all be there if anything happens, and we can take it a lot better than any civilians."

"Actually," Tony interrupted, "About that."

Audrey raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

"I think it might be better if we don't all head out there at once. Hear me out." He swiped again at his tablet and the image of the cabin dissolved, replaced by a complicated series of graphs and stray footage of various Hulk attacks—Manhattan, Harlem, the Helicarrier, and more recently—the Tower. While Bruce tensed at the videos, Audrey watched them carefully, waiting for Tony to explain his point. "Jolly Green is like a toddler, right?" He gestured at a video from the aftermath of Manhattan, where the Hulk was pouting and stomping down the stairwell.

"Uh-huh," Bruce confirmed, though he sounded more dubious than convinced. He eyed the footage with some degree of horror, and Audrey resisted the urge to say something.

"Well, according to my therapist, toddlers become irritated when they're overstimulated. Too many new things at once. And that's a common thread in incidents that make your little problem worse." Expanding the footage, he began scrubbing through the video to a point in Manhattan when a group of Chitauri soldiers attempted to attack. Audrey was in the frame, a few dozen feet away, but she couldn't remember this particular incident. Three of the Chitauri launched themselves towards the Hulk, grabbing onto him. He shook them off easily, but that wasn't what Audrey was focusing on in the video. Beneath the soldiers, the Hulk seemed to be getting...stronger. Bigger. His muscles strained and tore as he grew at least another foot taller, and he let out a loud roar.

"He gets stronger," Audrey said. "But–we wouldn't be a hostile force," she said. "We would just be helping him."

"Right," said Tony, "But he doesn't like half of us."

"Which ones?"

Natasha had been so quiet in the corner that Audrey had nearly forgotten she was there. The warmth she'd managed to draw out of the assassin over their months of training had faded quickly after San Francisco and Oksana. Now, she was back to being a stranger, more shadow than anything else.

"You," Tony said easily. "You shot at him on the Helicarrier. He probably wouldn't like Thor, since Thor also fought him on the Helicarrier."

"Do we know he remembers that?" Jane asked. She turned to Bruce.

"Probably not specifically," Bruce said. "But he's capable of holding a grudge, if that's what you're asking."

"What about Clint?" Darcy asked. "Or the Captain?"

"Good god," Tony muttered. "The Captain? You know he's not a real Captain?"

Darcy arched an eyebrow, hopping off the edge of the lab table and crossing to the one the rest of them had gathered around. She leaned down on her forearms and shrugged. "I wrote my Master's thesis on him, so yeah, I'd say I know that."

The annoyance dropped from Tony's face. He turned to Pepper. "Was that—"

"Yes," Pepper replied immediately.

"What?" Audrey asked.

"Mansplaining," Tony said. "I've been informed that I'm prone to it."

"You are," Darcy agreed. "But is anyone going to answer my question?"

"It can't be Clint," said Bruce.

"Why not?" Audrey asked, raising an eyebrow. Even though Clint had been brainwashed for the fight on the Helicarrier, to her knowledge, he and the Hulk had never crossed paths during the battle.

Casting a nervous glance in Natasha's direction, Bruce reluctantly admitted, "He finds him irritating."

"If you're being apologetic, there's no need," Natasha said simply, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning her side into the table. "I think he and I agree on that one."

"I think it has to be Audrey," Tony interrupted. Audrey wasn't surprised, but she'd hoped that they would stumble upon this realization after eliminating all their other options, so she could have time to think things through. "She was able to calm him down during the most recent Code Green."

"How did you do that?" Natasha asked. "I watched the footage, but it doesn't include the audio."

"Um," said Audrey. It wasn't that she didn't trust the people in the room—she'd asked them specifically because she trusted them. But that didn't mean she was ready to humiliate herself for something that was still so painfully tentative. She glanced at Tony, wondering if he was responsible for the deleted audio. "I appealed to his humanity."

"You also promised to bring him back," Tony reminded her.

She glared at him, but it was probably the least damaging of the things he could have revealed about the incident. "That too."

"Well then it has to be you, Carter," Natasha agreed. Her green eyes were laser-focused on the footage of the lab, cold and tactical. Audrey wondered faintly if she would ever have another chance to call Natasha her friend, or if all that had happened meant that she'd lost the opportunity for good. The idea that they would never be friends sent a pang to her chest, but Audrey ignored it—now wasn't the time.

"I know," she said after a moment.

"You don't have to," Bruce said. "If you don't want to, or if you don't feel safe alone—"

"No," she interrupted. "No, I want to."

"Are you sure?" he asked. His voice was low, almost intimate, as if she was the only one meant to hear. Audrey felt her cheeks heat up as she realized that everyone was watching them, noticing them. Breaking his gaze, she braced her hands on the table and fixed her eyes on Darcy.

"Yep," she said. "I'm sure."

"Sounds good," Tony said. "Then I propose a five day trial of Hulk-Audrey interaction." He started typing away on the tablet again, pulling up a calendar. "Doctor Foster? Your input?"

Jane leaned into the hologram, her nose about an inch away from it as she squinted at the dates. "This isn't standard procedure. You'd need a longer trial period, but seeing as this isn't going to be published as academic research, it should be fine." She stepped back. "What about safety? In case something goes wrong?"

"There's a Stark Industries compound upstate," Pepper said. "It's about a two-hour drive to the cabin from there, but we can have heli-ambulances on-call in case anything happens. They'd be able to arrive quicker in case of an emergency."

"And collateral damage?" Jane asked.

Tony shrugged. "The cabin is a piece of shit, I won't miss it. If you destroy it, just come home."

"Alright," Audrey said. That seemed like kind of a flippant response, but she didn't ask about it. "Bruce?"

Though he looked deeply wary and almost pained by the proposal, Bruce nodded. "Yeah, okay." He blew out a breath. "When do we start?"

January 27, 2013 - Avengers Tower Residential Units - Manhattan, NY

The next day, Audrey was back in her room trying to figure out what, exactly, she was supposed to bring on this mission. When it came to run-of-the-mill S.H.I.E.L.D. cases, the uniform was always the same—suits, pajamas, and a tactical suit. But blazers weren't going to be of any use to her at a cabin in the woods. Really, if she avoided getting killed, it was more of a vacation than anything, with intense, life-or-death, run-for-her-life activities scheduled during the daytime and relaxing home-cooked meals set to follow.

She dug through her drawers, pulling out blouses at random that looked good on her. Dressing up for Bruce felt mildly ridiculous, considering the fact that he was more than used to seeing her in sweatpants, but she still held up the blouse she'd grabbed in the mirror—cream colored and bell-sleeved, with a dip at the neckline. It was the kind of thing that always made her feel more confident. Audrey tossed it onto the bed with the rest of her clothes.

"Audrey?"

A light rapping at her door drew Audrey out of her bedroom. Her father's voice, though muffled by the heavy door, was distinctly his.

"Hey," she greeted.

In the doorway, Steve held up a reusable canvas bag.

"Food?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Sorry to disappoint. I brought some stuff for your trip."

She opened the door wider. "Right, uh, come in."

He stepped inside, heading towards her kitchen table and setting the bag down. "Tony said you're gonna be at his cabin upstate."

"Yup," she said. "I should be back on Friday, though."

"Just you and Banner, huh?" Steve asked.

Audrey gulped, nodding slowly. She hadn't told Steve about whatever was going on between her and Bruce—mostly because she hadn't told anyone else, either; well, unless she counted Tony, but that was hardly intentional. Even if she hoped Steve was clueless enough to miss out on any signs, she knew that he wasn't a superhero because he had blinders on. "Yeah. We're going to see if there's a way to get the Hulk to voluntarily shift back. Hopefully it'll save us trouble in the future."

"Right," Steve said.

Audrey knew that, for all she failed at addressing things directly, Steve was almost her match. If she didn't say anything, it would be hard for him to ask. "What's in the bag?"

He tilted it over, revealing that it was still not food, but a pack of road flares, some flashlights, and a box of matches.

"Wow," Audrey said, pushing the road flares aside and lifting the edge of the bag delicately to see if there was anything else inside. Nope. "What's this for?"

"It's supposed to snow this week," Steve said. "Tony said it's an old cabin. I don't want you to get stuck in a bad situation."

She hadn't thought to check the weather; Audrey was lucky that Steve had. Years had passed since anyone had needed to take care of her, and the moments where Steve treated her like a daughter always caught her off-guard. "Even I didn't know it was going to snow up there this week."

Steve shrugged. "I learned how to change the city in my weather app."

She smiled the slightest bit. "Good for you."

"I'm not so bad at this twenty-first century thing, am I?"

"You could go pro," she agreed. "Nonagenarian conquers the internet."

"I think my hands are pretty full already," he disagreed.

She shrugged. "It could make a good backup plan. You know. In case saving the world doesn't work out." He cracked a smile. "Thank you for the supplies. Very dad-like of you."

"Well, I'd consider myself dad-like, at the bare minimum." Audrey rolled her eyes, collecting the flares and the matches and the flashlight and bringing them to her bedroom, where she tossed them into her open suitcase. "You and Banner have been getting close," he called behind her.

Audrey froze. "Um," she said. After a deep breath she turned around and asked, as casually as she could, "You heard about that, huh?"

Steve laughed, which was better reception than she would've expected from Peggy. "I didn't notice, to be fair. Darcy had to explain it all to me."

"Well, there's really not much to explain," Audrey dismissed, heading back into the living room. "We just get along well."

"Alright, well," Steve started. Audrey braced the chair in front of her. "If there's ever something to explain, I just want you to be happy, okay?"

Part of her wanted to cry, but a larger part of her squashed the instinct. "Okay."

Whenever Audrey had expressed romantic interest towards anyone in the past, Peggy had been quick to fix her with a reason for why it wouldn't work out, why she shouldn't bother, why the person wouldn't measure up. And even if Audrey knew that her mother was right, most of the time, it became a lot to measure up to. She hadn't told her mother anything about her love life since 2004, when she'd had a brief fling with a MET curator that went sideways when she got transferred to Italy. Peggy had been right, of course, but that hadn't made things any easier. To tell a parent about her dating life, even in the most convoluted of terms, and hear them accept her without protesting, felt like the disappearance of a weight she hadn't even known she was carrying. It was a relief.

"You're happy?" Steve asked.

Audrey swallowed down the lump in her throat and nodded. "I am."

"That's all I want to hear." His smile was warm and gentle, and when he reached out to her for a hug she accepted wordlessly, grateful to be able to hide her face from his view by burying it in his chest. "Are you good for this week? You can call me if anything goes wrong. Or text me, but if I'm being honest calling is easier. I think my thumbs are too big for the keyboard."

"I'll call you," Audrey promised.

Steve kissed the top of her head. "Good." He stepped back. "You stay safe, okay?"

"I will," she assured him. "I promise."

January 27, 2013 - Avengers Tower Garage - Manhattan, NY

"Do you have the keys to this thing?"

Audrey dug into her pocket and pulled out the keychain Pepper had given her. The car Tony had initially offered up for them to take was unfathomably and ridiculously expensive—a '98 Ferrari that would never stand up to snowy weather. After Audrey's protests, Pepper had given her the keys to a sedan with snow-chains in case they had to come back when the roads were still icy.

She felt nervous as she went to put her bag in the trunk, and even more so when she settled into the driver's seat with Bruce at her side. Rarely did she spend long periods in cars, ever since she settled in New York permanently years ago, but back when she'd lived in Los Angeles, she hadn't been able to get through a car ride in silence. Were they supposed to talk? Was she supposed to leave him alone? Was it going to bother him if she played music?

"Do you like music?" she asked, before realizing how vague the question was.

He paused halfway through buckling his seatbelt, looking at her and then out the window at the concrete wall of the lot. "Uh, some of it."

She handed him her phone. "Can you play music? I can't really drive without it."

"Yeah," he said, accepting her phone. "Sure."

As he scrolled through her library, she went to plug the address into the car's GPS system. "Hello, Miss Carter," the car greeted. Audrey let out a small shriek at the greeting, before recognizing the voice as JARVIS.

"JARVIS?" she asked. "What—this is a Toyota."

"Mr. Stark has had me installed into all of his vehicles in case he gets into trouble while out. I can navigate you to the lodge without the use of the GPS."

She made a face. The only thing that could possibly be more awkward than Bruce and her sitting in silence for the hours it would take them to get upstate would be if JARVIS interrupted that silence at regular intervals to tell her which turns to take. "Um, the GPS is fine."

"If you insist, Agent Carter. Do let me know if my assistance is needed."

Audrey put the key into the ignition. "The weirdest part of it is that Tony actually had a butler named Jarvis growing up."

"Really?" Bruce asked. "It's based on a real person?"

She nodded. "He was a friend of my mom's, but I remember him being a lot closer to Tony than Howard was. He and his wife were good people. He was a lot funnier than the robot reincarnation."

"A low bar, I'm sure," Bruce commented. Audrey shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of the driveway, heading East towards the freeway. Traffic wasn't as bad as she expected, but it would still take them a while to get out of the city. Bruce hit something on her phone, and "Bennie and the Jets" started playing. "You're a fan of the oldies, huh?" he asked.

"They're not that old to me," she insisted. "I was almost thirty when this came out."

"Huh," said Bruce. "I think I was six."

Audrey cringed, accidentally pressing on the gas pedal harder than she meant to. Beneath them, the tires screeched. "Oh, God."

"There's a joke about subverting gender stereotypes somewhere in here, but I don't know what it would be," Bruce remarked.

"I like your personality, too," she said.

"Too?" he asked.

"Like, in addition to your looks."

"Oh," Bruce said. Her eyes slid over to him, and she noticed him blushing. The song ended, changing to the familiar opening of Queen's "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy." She made the turn onto the 495 and jammed on the gas pedal, starting as the engine roared beneath her and the on-ramp soared ahead of them.

There was something calming about the anonymity of freeways. For once, to the people around them, they were nobody—just two normal people in a normal car. The freedom of being out of Midtown Manhattan helped too. The packed sidewalks and crowds of tourists were far behind them. Nobodies going nowhere.

Maybe it just reminded her of California, when she'd been young and Jarvis had been driving her and Peggy around for work and missions. But even the freeways from her childhood didn't feel rooted in any specific place; they were in-betweens, going anywhere she wanted.

The quiet came easy, blanketed by an odd selection of Queen, Destiny's Child, and Al Green. As the hours passed, the road grew quieter, the streets blending together into one long slab of concrete that stretched out around them. It was only when Prefab Sprout started playing on repeat that Audrey looked over and noticed that Bruce had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. It still felt like it was too intimate; like it wasn't something she was supposed to see. So instead, she focused back on the road and glued her eyes to the blinking white lines between lanes, until they arrived at the cabin.

January 27, 2013 - Stark Lodge - Somewhere Upstate

By the time they arrived at the cabin, the sun had mostly set and left the sky painted a deep purple color that didn't quite feel real, no matter how much time Audrey spent staring up at it. Bruce started awake at the chime the car emitted with she unbuckled her seatbelt, rubbing at his eyes and then reaching over to collect the stack of research he'd brought along to edit but mostly left untouched.

Tony's cabin was not a piece of shit, despite the way he'd described it earlier. It could've slept the whole team and a few more on top of that, if they'd really tried. Large glass windows between the rows of redwood gave her a view into the living room, which, while looking dated, had clearly cost someone a lot of money to furnish a few decades earlier.

She shouldered her bag and flipped through the keychain until she found the key labeled front door. Inside, the cabin was all high-ceilings and rustic details. The exact opposite of the Tower, it wasn't what she'd expected from Howard or Tony. She might've guessed Maria, had she not been far more interested in Jackie O's personal brand of design than that of a Canadian logger.

Bruce let out a low whistle. "When Tony calls a place like this a piece of shit, that's when I start to worry he has too much money."

"I've been worrying about that for ages," Audrey replied. It wasn't like she could complain, though, when she was a direct benefactor of that wealth. Still—the house was enormous and well-kept. Nowhere near as bad as Tony had made it seem. "I'm gonna find a room to put my stuff down in," she said, before heading up the staircase.

The second level was significantly more humble than the grand foyer by the entrance. The hallway was lined by six doors—three on the left, three on the right. Audrey went to the first one on the left and found inside a room with white beadboard a twin sized bed in the corner, pushed up against the window. She pulled the door shut. Peggy had always told her to keep her bed away from any exterior entrances.

The next room down was better, and Audrey settled in there instead. The queen sized bead was pushed up against a wall covered in the same white beadboard as the first room, but it was in the center. She set her bag down on the edge of the bed, tracing the smooth edge of the comforter before sitting down and flopping onto her back, staring up at the ceiling fan. She'd been up since five worrying about logistics with Tony, and then she'd gone on a run with Steve and Clint. If she wasn't so hungry, she might have passed out there.

Audrey liked guest rooms. She always slept better in new places than in her own bed. Something was always off about other people's bedrooms—the table was on the wrong side of the bed, or the lamp switch wasn't where it was supposed to be, or the mattress was too soft. Sleeping at home was always nightmares and then waking up to work or training. In new places, she could do new things.

Her stomach growled. Audrey reached for her bag and dug around in search of her phone, before remembering that Bruce had been the last one to have it. She kicked herself up off the bed and raised her hands above her head to stretch before heading back down the stairs. She found Bruce with a plate of baby carrots and a container of hummus. "Tony stocked the kitchen," he announced, holding the plate out to her. Audrey accepted, hopping up onto the barstool on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

"Tell me he has more than carrot sticks," she said.

Tony did, as it turned out. While Audrey boiled water for pasta on the stove, Bruce chopped vegetables for his salad. Dinner, like the car ride up, was a quiet affair, though not nearly as tense. The comfortable silence followed them back into the kitchen as they washed the dishes, broken only so Audrey could ask, "How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

He took the glass that offered and dried it with the dish towel he held. "I'm trying to keep my cool."

"But is it working?" She ran her plate under the faucet and scrubbed at the stray tomato sauce with a sponge.

Bruce paused his drying and braced his hands against the counter, towel still in hand. "No," he admitted flatly. Audrey handed him the plate.

"You're gonna be okay," Audrey promised.

"Are you?"

She swallowed, turning back to the pile of cutlery she'd left for last and scrubbing at the forks and knives with more force than was necessary. "I will," she said, partly for his sake and partly for her own. Nothing had changed—she wasn't scared of Bruce or the Other Guy, and she had faith that the Hulk wasn't going to throttle her, if only based on history. Still, Audrey had a nervous temperament, but she didn't feel any more anxious about tomorrow than she did whenever she had to go to the grocery store. "I trust you."

Bruce didn't say anything to that, and she was almost glad. Saying it was mortifying, and hashing it out would only make it worse. She passed him the forks and turned off the faucet, busying herself with drying her hands as he finished stacking them in the drying rack. There was nowhere to go but to bed, and even as tired as she'd felt all day, she suddenly wanted nothing more than to stay up later, if only to see him for longer.

The forks dropped into the cutlery bucket with a clatter, and he turned to her, dropping the towel on the counter. "That's all of it?" he asked.

Audrey nodded. "That's all of it."

"Okay," he said.

Neither of them moved, and in the stillness and the silence she found her mind wandering, sweeping through tomorrow's hypotheticals in search of a worry to latch onto. What was the worst that could happen? That was easy—the worst that could happen would be if it didn't work. Because Audrey knew that some pain would be inevitable with something like this, but she didn't mind healing some good came of it.

"Audrey?" Bruce asked.

Her thoughts traveled back to the way things were now, the kitchen light gentle above them. Usually, she thought of them as somebodies, and earlier, she'd thought of them as nobodies going nowhere. Now, it felt like they were everything, and the world was only as big as the kitchen they stood in. If she looked out the window, Audrey wouldn't have been surprised to find the edge of everything spilling out into a black sky spotted with stars. The world was only this. She met his eyes. "Bruce?"

"Um," he said. "Well, uh, goodnight."

"Right," she agreed. "Yes. Goodnight."

When he didn't move, she turned to head upstairs, only to stumble at a hand on her wrist. "Wait." Bruce's pull wasn't that strong, and certainly, Audrey was stronger, but she was so surprised by his touch that she found herself stumbling back, almost colliding with his chest but stopping a few inches short. She didn't move, just studied his face and tried her best to ignore the fact that if she only leaned towards him, they would be touching. The world wouldn't end if they did; logically, she knew that. But she held still anyway, scared of breaking something. His hand hadn't moved from her wrist, but that somehow felt so miniscule compared to the way he was looking at her.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know," he admitted hoarsely, barely more than a whisper.

"Are you trying to kiss me?" she asked, and then felt incredibly stupid.

Bruce swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Yes."

"What's stopping you?" she asked.

"I'm—I don't know. I don't know what'll happen if I do."

Audrey thought about bravery, and gently pulled her wrist from Bruce's grip, moving her hand to the side of his face and forgetting about the fragility of things long enough to press her lips to his. If things were falling to pieces around them, Audrey didn't notice. This was all there was—the two of them, and the way his hands found her waist, and the way he tilted her head so that he could kiss her back.

Her lips, his lips. Her teeth, his teeth. Bruce was heavy against her, leaning forward to fit the arch of her body. It was a hell of a feeling, like crash-landing into darkness and needing to find the way despite it. Audrey searched, raking her hands through his hair, for an answer to what she was wanting.

And then, suddenly, like a bone breaking, he was gone, pulling away. She found herself reaching out for him before she could stop it, clutching onto his biceps and pressing her forehead into his chest as she trembled. Instead of pulling away, he snaked his arms around her waist and tucked his chin over his shoulder. Both of them shaking, both of them catching their breaths.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay," he promised, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head and resting his hands on her shoulders. Bruce stepped back and looked her over. "It's late."

"It is," she agreed.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked, his hands sliding down her arms and so her could interlace their fingers.

"Okay," she said. "I'm gonna—I have to make a call. So. I'll see you tomorrow."

Bruce nodded, gently releasing her hands. "Goodnight, Audrey."

"Goodnight, Bruce," she replied. And then, she pushed herself up onto her toes and brushed her lips against his cheek. He gave a slight wave, and then turned, padding up the stairs. When he was gone, she went to the front table and grabbed her phone, opening a text to Tony.

[9:21 pm] Audrey Carter-Rogers: We're here. The food was very appreciated.

[9:22 pm] Tony Stark: everything good?

She smiled to herself.

[9:23 pm] Audrey Carter-Rogers: I'm perfect.

A/N: Okay honestly I wasn't expecting this to happen either the characters just kind of took me that way and I'm not mad about it hopefully none of you are mad either….please let me know what you think ! Thank you to i am cloud, jhm64892, and EleanorJames for reviewing the last chapter! I really appreciate the feedback :) See you all next chapter !

Chapter Twenty-Five: Code Green

The Hulk let out a loud bellow. Audrey raised an eyebrow. "They're just birds, they won't hurt you."