Hi!

I'm too tired to actually write something here so enjoy!

BTW I've fulfilled my promise of a chapter that I made in an announcement 15 days ago! (that i deleted from the story because I think they're wastes of spaces after what they detail is over)

Lying on an ice cube in the middle of winter was not a pleasant experience. The chills snuck through the layers of clothes I was wearing and made my already frail condition worse.

Trying to distract myself with questions relating to Pokemon beyond the scope of the Pokemon Ruby knowledge I had (which did not include Porthos's unknown evolution).

The previously vocal pokemon were now silent, as if their demeanor changed based on their forms. Come to think of it, Magikarp was said to have its brain structure changed or something when they evolved in the Pokemon Ruby Pokedex.

"So, that really was an evolution stone?" I asked Porthos, who nodded.

"Wow. The world sure is a weird place." I muttered, shifting my position and trying to alternate between freezing my front and my back.

Ice pokemon were all fun and games until you tried to cuddle with them.

…

"Finally! Land!" I yelled.

It had been six hours since Aramis had flown with us in tow, from that Shoal Cave outpost to this weird city. An active volcano was smoking beside the thriving metropolis, and I sweat dropped at the lava slowly flowing down from it.

Seriously, what were these people thinking? Shouldn't they not build a major settlement housing thousands of people right beside an active volcano?

Spotting a patch of woods, I pointed to it and Aramis landed on a shady patch of grass. I jumped off and embraced the ground, feeling the warmth that pulsed through it almost like a heater was under the earth. The grass was just so soft and I could take a nap in it after a year in the caves…

Something cold prodded me in the back. I was bought back to reality and I saw my pokemon give me the look.

It was obvious. Even if their expressions and body language changed.

They were hungry.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. We need to find food." I muttered.

How, though? We had no money, this place probably has no berries (It's a city, for god's sake!), and people probably didn't give you cash for winning pokemon battles around here.

So, how would a person with nothing but soaked belongings and a guitar make any money?

Wait a minute. My guitar…

I grinned.

"Porthos."

The minion stood at attention.

"Get my guitar."

Seeing the absolutely devious smile I had on right now (smiles I reserved for making their training regiments even tougher with cave obstacle courses and other various hijinks), she shivered before finding it somewhere in the grass and giving it to me.

"I'm sorry, Rick Astley, but it has to be done."

Time to meme on the unenlightened ones.

…

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down~~~"

Here I was. In this city besides an active volcano. Rickrolling an entire crowd without them realizing.

Sometimes, being from a different dimension had its perks.

The crowd was rocking the music, throwing cash and other donations (little trinkets and such) into and around the hat that I borrowed from a random homeless guy, with a promise of giving him a share of the money once I was done.

"Never gonna run around ~~~ And desert you!"

The money just kept flowing in. Apparently, most people here were relatively well off and enjoyed a good music show. It probably helped that Porthos was dancing to the tune, somehow pulling off a lot of elegant ballet moves. How did pokemon even know ballet?

My guitar performed admirably. With the amount of damage she had suffered, I was surprised that the strings still worked. Maybe all that effort that I put in on waxing the instrument was actually worth it. Still, the wood had just dried off and I was going to have to do some serious maintenance on her.

As my hands played the chords and I sang out the lyrics absentmindedly, I didn't notice exactly how many people arrived.

The entire street I was in was filled to the brim with people catching wind of my performance and flocking over to hear these new, never-heard-before songs. People had phone-like devices and cameras out recording, and when I finished the song and came back to reality, I looked up to realize that, for once, I was being cheered on by a massive crowd.

"You guys want an encore?" I asked, mentally scrolling through lists of acceptable songs.

Should I sing the pokemon anime theme song just for the irony of the situation?

Yeah sure, why not. Memes for days, amiright?

The crowd roared.

"Okay, here goes. And this song is for all you trainers out there!" I said.

The crowd cheered again. Emboldened by the support, I took a deep breath and sang it.

"I want to be the very best, Like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test, To train them is my cause!"

…

Reciting the song from the anime, playing the catchy tune, and using it to get attention was piracy to the people who actually wrote it. Still, they were in another world.

I preferred to think of it as introducing culture to a foreign civilization, like how missionaries preached the bible and were able to reap some rewards from the lands they indoctrinated.

Besides, what type of pokemon world would this be if there was no theme song for pokemon?

I had gathered the money in the hat, bowed, and retreated into the smaller streets when I finished playing the theme song, my minions floating behind me (Porthos held Athos's small carapace as they sat on Aramis). Then, I found the homeless guy and gave him back his hat and ten percent of my profits.

And at long last. With money, came the elixir of life itself. More essential than even food and sleep.

What is it, you ask? Let me enlighten you.

Coffee.

Remember that thermos I had? I had run out of the life giving liquid a week into my stay near Shoal Cave.

Now, back in civilization and with money, I went looking for the nearest coffee shop, my minions confused at my exited behavior as they trailed behind me.

Arbork's Coffee. The cartoony snake mascot of the shop meant a parallel version of Starbucks and enlightment. Pushing open the glass doors, I walked into the shop, my pokemon trailing behind me. Apparently, it wasn't odd for pokemon to follow their trainers in this world into various establishments, which was great. I didn't have pokeballs for my pokemon, so if the establishment forbade pokemon to be out of their pokeballs within their confines, it would be another unpleasant experience.

"Thank time and space for that." I thought, appreciating Diagla and Palika for not denying me this basic human right of consuming caffeine.

"Welcome to Arbork's Coffee. How may I-"

"Give me three expresso shots. And three sandwiches. Pronto." I half-shouted in desperation, slamming money on the counter.

The server looked at me like I was crazy, but complied nonetheless with the promise of the money on the desk. (To be honest, I probably was insane, because having 3 expresso shots would push my caffeine levels almost to the level of "there is blood in my caffeine stream" levels).

It was a very fast process of filling a cup with three expresso shots and putting mystery meat between slices of bread.. I salivated at the cup, grabbed it, and ran to a table, Porthos grabbing the sandwiches and following me back to the table.

Enjoying a good beverage required proper seating. Lifting the cup, I sniffed the fragrance of the finely ground coffee beans. Slowly, I took a sip.

Bitterness exploded in my mouth, making me grimace, only for my veins to finally feel the caffeine slowly making its way into my system. Birds chirped in my mindscape as I ran in an imaginary grass field. Angel song and pure sunlight filled the clearing, lifting the stress of being trolled by time and space out of my system.

I opened my eyes, pupils dilated, cheeks red, and panting. I was sure that people would look at me weird, but I didn't care.

A man with his expresso shots was a happy man.

Sensing that the demeanor change in me was caused by the mysterious substance in the cup, Athos floated over to investigate. Acting on instinct, I grabbed the cup and cradled it as a mother would a baby, almost hissing at my own minion.

Though snatching the cup up at Mock 2, not a single drop of the sacred mixture was spilled. Athos shrank away at my scary expression.

Realizing that I was maybe a bit too harsh, I presented the cup and allowed Athos to investigate. Porthos, being the only one in the trio that still had hands, grabbed the cup and took a sip.

Ice type pokemon were not made to handle sudden bursts of energy.

Porthos, upon swallowing the coffee, almost fell over. Her eye lights shone like miniature beacons as the environment suddenly got a lot colder because her system needed to get rid of the excess energy somehow. Leaning across the table, I grabbed the cup before it could fall.

Still, a single drop of coffee landed on the floor.

As I was staring at the tragedy, a voice interrupted me in my mourning.

"You're that person that sang in the square earlier with the dancing Froslass!" a girl, sounding about twelve to thirteen said in a rather high pitched voice.

I sighed, calming down over the coffee's "valiant sacrifice", noted that Porthos's species was actually called Froslass, and turned to face the girl.

With a tomboyish look, orange short hair, a strange combination of a sleeveless top and suspenders, and shorts with high-cut sneakers. Basically, a walking contradiction of fashion choices.

"And?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"I want you to train me?" she said.

"For?"

"For Pokemon contests, of course! Your Froslass was great out there!"

"What are pokemon contests?"

Awkward silence ensued.

"They're competitions to show off your Pokémon's elegance and grace, of course!" the girl said with visible excitement. This was clearly one of her dreams.

I thought of Porthos's eating habits and laughed.

"Trust me, Porthos is anything but those things. She's just dexterous."

"Dexter-what?" the girl asked.

"Dexterous." I said, "Basically, she has fast reaction time and has fine control over movement."

"Oh." The girl said.

"Anyways, I' not going to train you. I don't even know anything about training pokemon, I just made them do stuff with rocks every day and give them heavier rocks when they improve."

Taking the cup of coffee with me, I walked away and waved.

"See ya around, kid. And good luck on your dreams."

The girl huffed and stormed after me. Athos shivered at the annoyance he felt emanating in the atmosphere and begged Aramis to go faster. The Glalie in question just shot a confused look before shrugging (or, at least, an ice ball's equivalent of shrugging), before catching up with its boss.

…

That. Little. Girl. Just. Won't. Leave. Me. Alone.

All day long, pestering me. Following me around. At least she was quiet when I went to borrow hobo's hats and play songs for money.

"… And in conclusion, that is why you should definitely train me for pokemon contests."

Oh god, it was like college music class all over again, teaching us basically useless music theory (in my opinion, at least. Stuff like music came naturally.)

"Why do you even want to win a pokemon contest?" I asked.

For once, the girl fell silent.

I sat down, preparing to give some lessons on life.

"You know, all I wanted to do growing up was become a musician. I actually got these pokemon by accident after getting pranked by time and space."

"How?"

"Doesn't matter. Anyways, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone by entering these fancy contests. Do what you want. Life is short, so make the most of it."

"Then I'll make the most of it by winning a contest! And I can prove my sisters wrong!" she said, taking my statement the opposite way.

I facepalmed.

"You know what, I'll do it. I'll train you the way I "trained" my pokemon." I said.

She was about to celebrate.

"But I have a few conditions."

"What are they?"

"One, you have to pay for all the coffee I drink. Two, you can't complain about what training I'm going to put you and your pokemon through. Three, you have to tell me your name so I can call you something other than kid."

"Sure! I have plenty of money from being a gym leader anyways. And my name is Misty Waterflower!" she said. "So, can we go train now?"

"No."

"Aww… "she pouted.

"How old are you, anyways?" I asked.

"I'm nine this year!"

I sweat dropped. This was totally going to be seen as kidnapping.

"Why don't you call your folks and tell them you're going to be training with me? They must be worried."

Misty crossed her arms and sulked before getting out a phone like device and sending a message.

"There. I did it. Now, can we train?"

"We start tomorrow. Now, I'm going to return a hat and sleep. You can… uh… stay out of trouble."\

"Don't worry! My pokemon will protect me!"

She threw a pokeball and a five-foot wide sea star with ten legs and a ruby gem encrusted in its center appeared with a red glow. It appeared to be a Starmie that the Pokemon Ruby swimmers had. It hissed at me, and its gem glowed menacingly.

I slowly backed away and ran.

"See ya later! Meet in the patch of woods tomorrow!" My minions followed my pace, not wanting to be branded as potential threats to the hostile water pokemon.

…

Training was very awkward.

My training regiment consisted purely of my pokemon carrying rocks around.

Now, with all of our pokemon out, I realized that none of them had hands except for Porthos, who was the only one actually practicing the old way, with her throwing rocks at Athos. Athos dodged the rocks better than ever, now being able to fly.

We just looked awkwardly at the pair playing.

"…What's your name again?" Misty asked.

Oh god, my "protégé" didn't even know my name.

"I'm Winston Clark."

Awkward silence reigned once more.

"So… maybe we could… get weights or something?" I asked.

"…Sure."

"You're going to have to pay for them, you know?"

"Fine."

…(thirty minutes later)…

After getting flipper weights for the fish and various other weights for the starfish, I watched them struggle, flopping around on the grass, and spewing water everywhere.

"Is pouring water everywhere the alternative method for water pokemon to sweat?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you were a water pokemon master!"

"Well, I'm not quite there yet!"

…(ten minutes later)…

"…And, done." I said.

What lay before me were the three water pokemon burdened by half of the amount of weights they previously possessed. This time, after forbading them to use their abilities to levitate and cheat, we made them flop around the forest and do laps. Misty, being the semi-good student she was, also got me a cup of coffee. I relaxed against a tree as I just watched the water pokemon struggle. Aramis and Athos floated above them, communicating with some secret pokemon eye codes that I did not understand at all.

"Are you sure this method actually works?" Misty asked.

"Are you challenging me, my dear student?" I asked, glaring at her.

Then, retracting my piercing glare, I hastily said, "I don't know for sure either, but that was how I trained my minions."

"Why do you even call your pokemon minions?"

"We're in a boss-grunt relationship. Usually, I'm the one finding food and they're the one eating it. I also had to slap wild pokemon away from them when they were wee little Snorunt and had to dive to get some sort of evolutionary stone out of a tide pool. Now, they've evolved, and they repay me by carrying me across oceans and fighting rogue psychic pokemon."

I chuckled at the thought of my minions as Snorunt, chucking rocks at that Alakazam.

"I still have to teach them to use dark type moves, and I don't even know how. At least they're the best ice carvers I've ever seen."

It was true that my minions did enjoy carving ice. There was only so much they could do in really dark caves and rocky wastelands.

The water pokemon had finished a lap now, and were resting in the grass, various limbs spasming. The ropes that held the weights to their bodies were completely soaked. Porthos went up to them and hosed them in a bit of chilly air, then untied the ropes and let the pokemon free. The starfish levitated into the air and spun happily while the rolled over and made content noises.

"Now that your pokemon are done training, let's work on our moves! Come on, my minions. Let's show how we train."

…

By the end of our training, the whole field was coated in ice. The water pokemon had been recalled into their pokeballs in fear of getting caught in the splash zone. My boots were encased in a layer of ice that I was trying to free myself from as Athos and Porthos continued their dogfight in the air while Porthos tried to calm them down. Ice beams flew left and right, the cyan energy beams colliding with our surroundings and making the bowl of ice even larger.

Eventually, I gave up and watched Athos and Aramis mimic fighter jets. Athos was far more agile (he was smaller and had practiced dodging rocks back in the caves), but his attacks didn't actually bother Aramis that much. His much smaller ice beam splashed against Aramis's caprice and caused his flight to grow a little more irregular.

Still, I remembered something about the pokemon Glalie having the ability Ice Body, making them heal during hail storms. Were they also applicable here? Was that why none of them were calming down?

It didn't matter. My minions only knew ice type moves anyways, and these two were intent on duking it out.

From outside the ice field, Misty watched with stars in her eyes, in awe with the strength of my pokemon and their devastating power.

I just shrugged. I had nothing to do with it.

It was probably the ability Ice Body again. It caused an endless cycle of getting hit by an ice beam, absorbing its energy, then sending out a more powerful ice beam that causes the sender to get hit by an even more powerful ice beam because the sender's attack bolstered the victim's attack, only for the victim's ice beam to come back and empower the sender.

It was a vicious cycle. I sat down (or did the best I could) and waited for the ice to melt or for Porthos to calm her brothers down.

"After they calm down, can we go get food? I ran out of money yesterday, again."

Misty just sighed.

…

After freeing myself from the ice with another chunk of ice and drinking a lot of coffee (because somebody else was paying), I successfully converted Porthos to the coffee gods. Our coffee consumption had doubled, and Athos and Aramis, being the poor souls they were, could not enjoy such divine pleasures without hands.

They were still addicted to ham sandwiches, despite me offering them hamburgers as a replacement.

Come to think of it, were there livestock in the pokemon world, or were there just pokemon that were edible?

A question to be pondered later.

For now, we go get coffee.

And there we go. Another chapter. It wasn't exactly 5000 words (I ran out of steam today) but it'll do.

It's my other fic's standard chapter word count: 3000 words.

Also, please review, favorite, and follow. You have no idea what it means to me.