I sit there waiting after everyone has left for what feels like forever before the Peacekeepers come for me. I make sure to clean up my face as best as I can, thankful my makeup is waterproof. Finnick is waiting for me outside the door and I grip his hand tightly as we begin to walk to the train, I smile and wave to the people of my district as we make our way towards the train. I can see the other boy out of the corner of my eye, his nerves are written all over his face. These people will eat him alive.
We enter the train and I look towards Finnick, 'They can't see us anymore can they?' my voice is shaking.
'No, why? You shouldn't be afraid of them.'
"I'm going to be sick,' I clasp my hand to my face and dry heave, Finnick grabs my arm gently and heards me towards the bathroom where I promptly throw up my breakfast. All the emotion that I've been trying my best to hold in comes out with it as I sit there crying and vomiting. Finnick rubs my back gently and holds back my hair. My whole body is shaking and becomes weak as my body repels everything in it from the fear. When I'm finished I lean over the bowl of the toilet exhausted. Finnick stands up and grabs a cloth wiping my face gently before picking me up and taking me to what I assume is my room on the train, he tucks me into bed and kisses me on the forehead.
I wake up in bed, my head is pounding and my mouth feels like I just ate a sock. I lay there with my eyes closed for a while trying to quell the earthquake in my head before slowly opening my eyes. I take in my surroundings slowly not having time to analyse the room earlier, I'm in a large fancy bedroom with matching dark wood furniture. The bed I'm lying in is giant with an overhead canopy with green, lace curtains and matching silk sheets. There's a large screen on the wall facing the bed and a door to which I assume leads to a bathroom. I sink down in the large, plush pillows and sigh deeply. I'm mad at myself for being so weak, if this is how my body reacts to stress and fear, how will I ever survive in the arena.
There's a knock on the door and Finnick comes walking into the room carrying a tray. 'Hey, how are you feeling?'
'Like shit... I know, I know don't swear but it's true.'
'I get it, you were scared and under so much pressure. It's a natural reaction.' He puts the tray down next to the bed and crawls in next to me wrapping his arms around me. 'Everything's going to be alright, we'll get through this I promise.' He gives me a kiss on the head before putting the tray on my lap, 'Now eat up and we can watch the reruns of the reaping. There are some good ones in there this year it's gonna be tough but no one could ever beat you.' He picks up the remote next to the bed and turns the large TV on. We watch all the victors go by, Finnick is right there are some strong looking people this year. There are also ones that I know I can beat easily like the kid with the limp, I hate myself for thinking about how easily I can overpower him. The boy from 11 seemed interesting, he was built like a mountain and his eyes were so dark you could almost get lost in them. I felt my heart skip a beat a little looking at him but I didn't have time to focus too much before they moved on to district 12.
12 stood out the most to me, I don't think I've ever seen someone from the lower districts do that.1,2 and 4 sure but no one from 12 has ever done what that girl did. You could see from the video how much she loves her sister, it reminds me so much of Finnick, seeing her like that in that moment made me realise how hard it would be to kill her. Losing Finnick would kill me and I don't know how I could do that to the little girl she volunteered for, the look on her face when they focused on her made my heart break for them.
The rest of the train ride was pretty uneventful. We just ate and talked strategy, I stayed in Finnick's room most nights as neither of us could sleep without having nightmares. We mainly stayed up talking about District 4, Annie, Mags, Toby and what it was like before our parents died. I didn't talk to the other boy much, he tried a few times but I could never get many words out as nerves seemed to take over. Finnick often rolled his eyes at me as this happened, scolding me and telling me I would never make allies if I couldn't even form a sentence around most people. He's been prepping me so hard for interviews and making allies, trying to show me the best techniques to make friends and trying to get me to talk to workers on the train to prepare but I just get so shy around people. I'm so mad at myself for not being able to overcome this, I need to get better, I need to win.