Eat, drink, and be merry, they said.

Eat, drink, and get married was not part of the plan.

The ceremony was explained to them in great detail; the Village Leaders wanted no misunderstandings and made it clear that SG1 had stumbled on the planet doing their annual marriage rites.

Unlike a lot of planets they'd been to, on this one, the women had some semblance of control and choice. Well, kind of. Each woman of marriable age was given a goblet of ceremonial wine and were - supposedly - in control of who they got to share it with.

Supposedly.

There were some blurred rules about that which Jack didn't like the sound of. Previously married women had the choice of offering their goblet to their existing husband should they wish the union to continue; if they didn't, they got to offer it to someone else.

Single women got to offer it to someone of their choosing but, if there was no one they were specifically interested in, it was fair game and down to them or their male relatives to ensure the goblet remained untouched until morning or she might find herself married against her will.

"So we're agreed," Jack said to his teammates as they sat down at the table reserved for them as guests of honour. "Anyone goes near Carter's goblet, we shoot them."

"Yes, Sir," Sam said, amusement and a little apprehension on her face. She'd been on too many of these missions to know they rarely went as smoothly as anticipated.

"I will guard it with my life," Teal'c agreed, though the corners of his mouth twitched a little. The goblet was as much in front of Jack as it was Sam, and it would be a brave man who ignored the Colonel's death glare and so much as attempted to touch the ornate cup.

For the most part, the men of Daleria were respectful of the strangers strange customs and kept a respectful distance. But there were a few who were enamoured by Sam's unusual colouring and undeniable attractiveness, and they were emboldened as the alcohol continued to flow well into the night. A couple of the more devious men attempted to get near Sam's goblet as the night continued by engaging the team in conversation, hoping they'd distract them long enough for the cup to be accessed. One succeeded in distracting Daniel - that wasn't really hard to do - but none of them counted on the unshakeable force that was Colonel Jack O'Neill.

The first man who tried to get near the goblet ended up on the receiving end of one of Jack's death glares. It was a glare he reserved for politicians, and anyone who tried to hurt any member of his team.

The second almost brushed his fingers over the stem of the cup, but found his wrist caught in the vice-like grip of the Black Ops trained Colonel. Sam watched out of the corner of her eye, deciding not to make it obvious in case she had to deny seeing anything. She winced on behalf of the man, though, and hoped his wrist was just bruised or sprained and not broken.

The third man didn't try to be sneaky about it. He swaggered up to the table, have Sam a confident, cocky grin and held her gaze as he reached for the cup. It was Teal'c that time who grabbed his arm, and Jack who grinned smugly as the native paled and walked away, all traces of his earlier swagger gone.

The fourth man Sam dealt with herself. As amused as she was with the overprotective display from her teammates, she felt the need to make it abundantly clear that she didn't need anyone to protect her - or her goblet. She was pretty sure she managed to break the nose of the creepy man who stuck up from behind them, snaking his arm through the small space between herself and Jack, in his quest to sip from the cup. She jerked her arm back, her elbow meeting his nose with a crunch she found as satisfying as it was sickening.

The fifth man Daniel stopped in his tracks. Well, Daniel caught on to the tactic of distracting them through conversation and decided to turn it back on the next guy who approached the travellers. Almost an hour later, the man left in search of a much needed drink.

Sam's goblet, and by association her hand in marriage, remained untouched for the majority of the night. As the sun began to rise, the ceremony began to draw to a close. A final meal was served, including a dish that looked like pancakes drenched in syrup but was, on tasting, decidedly hotter than anticipated and no where near as a sweet.

Jack was the one to try it first, and the one to regret it.

He reached for the nearest drink to him and had downed half of the contents before the sudden silence of his teammates struck him as being odd.

Glancing at his hand and the goblet still clasped in it, Jack closed his eyes. "Ah, crap."

There was another moment of silence, broken by Sam's sigh. Jack opened his eyes to look at her, catching a glimpse of her slightly upturned lips as she shrugged. He glanced at Teal'c and found him staring back with an arched eyebrow. And then there was Daniel, a gleeful grin on his face.

Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter returned through the Stargate, newlyweds once more.