Not Wounded, Healed

Lost and Found A/U #2

Chapter One

They were about to start at the Police Academy, fulfilling a long held ambition for them both. "In just over two weeks' time, we will officially be police cadets and there'll no stopping us. Look out criminals!" Starsky thought to himself as he jumped out of his car and headed up the steps to home. He didn't think anything could spoil his good mood but he was wrong.

He knew, as soon as he walked in the door, that something was off. The apartment was in darkness, even though it wasn't that late, and Hutch was lying on the sofa with his arm over his face. Assuming his friend had fallen asleep, Starsky hung up his jacket as quietly as he could and slipped his shoes off. Walking softly on his toes, he made his way towards the kitchen to get a drink. He was startled when Hutch suddenly spoke.

"It's all right, Starsk. You don't have to be quiet. I'm awake."

The voice sounded strained to Starsky's ears. "You got a migraine or something?"

"Mmm." The response neither confirmed nor denied the suggestion.

"I'm getting a beer. Want anything?"

"Water, please."

Once in the kitchen, Starsky turned on a small lamp so that he could see what he was doing but left the main light off in case it would trouble Hutch. A few moments later, Starsky came back into the living room with his beer, a glass of water, a large bag of chips and a bowl of Hutch's favourite nibbles: a weird, to Starsky's mind, mix of dried fruits, nuts and sunflower seeds. He deposited the items on the coffee table and then sat down next to Hutch, who had just struggled into a sitting position to accommodate his friend. As he handed Hutch the glass of water, Starsky looked him over and grew worried. It looked like Hutch had been crying.

"What's going on, babe?"

Hutch reached down and picked up a screwed up ball of paper that Starsky hadn't even noticed. He flattened it out and handed it over to Starsky, who held it up so that the light from the lamp would illuminate it enough for him to read.

When he'd finished, Starsky let out an angry puff of air and then re-crumpled the piece of paper before tossing it towards the waste paper basket. "Thought we'd seen the last of her. Hoped we had, anyways."

"Me too. Why can't she just leave me alone?"

Starsky took a couple of sips of beer and then put his bottle down firmly on the table. The action made Hutch jump and look at him with concerned eyes.

"I wasn't going to say anything but…you gotta stop opening her letters, Hutch. Every time you read that nonsense, you're letting her have control and power over you again. It's gotta stop. You gotta send 'em back unopened then she'll get the message…and another thing, buddy, why haven't you started divorce proceedings yet?"

Starsky turned to look at his friend and was horrified to see he was biting his lip and had tears welling up in his eyes again. He reached out and put his hand comfortingly along the back of Hutch's neck. "Sorry, babe, I didn't mean to lecture ya. I'm not angry with ya. I'm mad at her for making you so miserable."

Hutch sighed with relief then nodded. "I know you're right, Starsk…She's trying to push me back into victim mode…I can't seem to think straight when she…I just can't think straight when it comes to Vanessa."

Starsky looked into Hutch's troubled eyes and tried to fill his own with reassurance. "I know it's hard for ya. She's a bloodsucker. She oughtta be done for mental cruelty for the way she treated ya…for the way she's still trying to treat ya."

Hutch blanched at the words and started to tremble.

"What is it, buddy? What did I say?"

"I c-can't do that…I can't…I c-can't s-stand up in c-court and tell p-people what she d-did."

"Shush, babe." Starsky pulled his frightened friend into a loving embrace. "Ssh." He rubbed Hutch's back until the trembling subsided. As he pulled away from him, he asked, "Is that what's been stopping you filing for divorce? 'Cause you thought you'd have to go into details?"

"C-can't start at the academy if p-people are going to find out what she did. W-What I let her get away with. They'll think I'm w-weak. Not fit to be a p-police officer. It'll make life unbearable."

Starsky shook his head and gave Hutch a wry smile. "Why didn't you talk to me about any of this?"

Hutch shook his head. "Ashamed, I guess."

"One - you got nothing to be ashamed of, Vanessa's the one who should be ashamed. And two - California passed a no-fault divorce law a couple of years ago. In '69, I think. Didn't you know that?"

"No." Hutch sat back and a look of relief spread over his face. He sounded more like his normal self as he asked, "You sure about that?"

"Yeah, a friend of Aunt Rosie's was one of the first women in Bay City to take advantage of it. I remember Uncle Al being scandalised about it but Aunt Rosie soon set him straight. She'd listened to enough horror stories from her friend to know that she needed to get away from her husband before it was too late."

Hutch let out a long sigh. "God, Starsk…I don't know what I'd do without you. You've taken a weight off my mind."

Starsky grinned and picked up his beer. "That's what friends are for, buddy. Look, we're both free this Friday. Why don't we go down to the courthouse and find out what paperwork you need to fill in to get Vanessa out of your life for good?"

Hutch nodded agreement.

"Good." Starsky thought it was time for a change of subject. "We only got two weeks then we'll be cadets. I'm excited. How about you?"

"Yeah. Can't wait."

"We'll have to do something special next Friday to celebrate our last day as civilians. Whaddya think? Beach? Park? Trip somewhere?"

"Anywhere with you is good with me," Hutch said, earning himself a huge grin from Starsky.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

A week later found Starsky on his way home from his last shift as a cabbie. He frowned as he pulled up outside his home and saw a car he didn't recognise parked outside. It was a shiny, deep blue Chevrolet Corvette. That year's model, no less. Starsky ran an appreciative eye over it and thought that Hutch clearly had a visitor with money to spare.

As he walked up the steps, he could hear raised voices and froze as he realised one was female. Next second, he was running up the last few steps and shoving the half-ajar door fully open. The scene that greeted him was not a pleasant one. Hutch's yucca plant was lying on the floor, along with a chair, and one of Starsky's paintings…and Vanessa was…well, she was stalking Hutch like he was her prey. That was the only way, Starsky could describe it. She was holding a riding crop and Hutch was backing away, looking panicked.

Before either of them registered he was there, Starsky grabbed Vanessa from behind and dragged her arms down, forcing her to drop the riding crop. "What the hell are you doing here, Vanessa?"

"Collecting my husband and taking him home."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Starsky exclaimed. "When are you going to get the message? He's not coming back."

Vanessa screeched at him and tried to wriggle out of Starsky's hold but he was having none of it. Abruptly, he let go of her arms but picked her up before she could react and carried her towards the door, only letting her go when he deposited her on the doorstep. "Get out of here. Stay away from my home or next time I will call the police."

"Who do you think you are? You're a nothing, a nobody. I don't know how you poisoned Ken's mind against me but I'll find a way to get him away from you. You can't be with him 24-7, Mr Starsky. I will get my husband back." Vanessa's voice had risen and become more and more screeching as she shouted at him.

Starsky looked at her in disbelief but responded as calmly as he could. "He's not your husband anymore. He's started divorce proceedings. You must know it's over. What are you doing here?"

"He can't leave me. What will people think? I'm not having him ruin everything I've worked so hard for."

"Lady, you never worked a day in your life! You're a spoiled rich kid who thinks she can take people and treat them how she likes. He's a person. He's not a plaything. Get out of his life." He slammed the door in her face and locked it.

With deep concern, Starsky turned round to see how Hutch was doing and heard him stumble into the bathroom and start vomiting. He stepped carefully over the upturned yucca and headed towards the bathroom. The door wasn't locked so he walked in. He dampened a wash cloth over the bath and handed it to Hutch, who sat back on his heels on the floor next to the john.

"Thanks."

The voice was a shaky whisper and Starsky blinked back tears. All of Hutch's progress over the last few months - dragging himself out of depression, setting aside anxiety and finding out who he really was - seemed to have been destroyed in a few seconds by that woman. Damn Vanessa. What was her problem, anyway? What kind of sad fantasy world was she living in where she thought she could get Hutch back? Starsky held a hand out to his friend. "Hey, buddy. Can you get up for me?"

Hutch took a deep breath and grabbed the offered hand, allowing Starsky to pull him to his feet. He swayed unsteadily and looked horribly pale as he whispered, "Starsk? What if you hadn't come back?"

"I did and you're okay. Don't dwell." Starsky put an arm around Hutch's shoulders and led him out of the bathroom and along to the kitchen where he made him sit at the table. He poured him a shot of whiskey and told him to stay there. Then he went to check Vanessa had gone. There was no sign of the Corvette and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He set about repairing the damage Vanessa had done. First he picked up the riding crop and threw it in the refuse bin outside. Then he checked on the picture lying on the floor. It was his watercolour scene: the one he'd painted of the beach he and Hutch had gone to earlier in the year. It was covered with soil from the yucca. When he gently brushed some of the earth away, he found the glass was cracked but the frame was still intact. He should be able to restore it if he was careful. He set it to one side: turning the scene to face the wall in the hopes Hutch wouldn't notice it. Then he righted the yucca and went to get a dustpan and brush to sweep up the soil and put it back in the pot. The yucca was a tough plant: he was sure it wouldn't think twice about its ordeal. He couldn't say the same for Hutch. When he was sure he'd made the place look tidy again, he went back to the kitchen. Hutch was staring miserably into his empty glass.

"Hutch? You feel up to getting out of here?"

Hutch raised a blank face to him. Confusion followed blankness then panic. "Go out? Where? What if…"

"Hutch. You trust me, right."

"Y-Yes."

"Come on then. Get your jacket. We're going to the beach for a walk. I won't let anything bad happen, I promise. Okay, babe. Trust me."

"O-Okay."

Hutch slowly got up and followed Starsky to the front door. Starsky handed him his jacket and then unlocked and opened the door. After he made sure the entrance was securely locked behind them, he placed a comforting hand on Hutch's back and led him down to the Torino, which was their only mode of transport at present. Hutch had gotten rid of his old wreck a week ago. With them about to start the academy for six months, there was no point running two cars.

Starsky drove the couple of miles to the beach and parked near their usual spot. They walked in the warm evening sunshine along the length of the beach, listening to the cries of the gulls and the crashing of the waves. It was a lovely evening and quite a few joggers were out. A few families had lingered and a bunch of college age students were lighting a barbecue and dancing to music coming from a portable radio. Starsky steered them away from everyone, down towards the less popular end of the beach.

He knew Hutch had recovered a bit from his shock when he suddenly asked, "Starsky, buddy, where are you taking me? You planning on murdering me and hiding my body in the dunes?"

Starsky was startled into laughter. "Well, the thought did cross my mind," he joked. "Nah, just thought we needed to be away from people to do some yelling," he went on by way of explanation.

"People from my part of Duluth don't yell," Hutch responded with a wry smile. "That would be uncouth."

"Yeah, well, you've been couth long enough, my friend. Time for some yelling."

Hutch thought about pointing out there was no such word as couth but decided to let it slide.

Starsky stopped at the top of a dune and looked around. "Perfect spot." He turned to Hutch. "Right. I want ya to take a deep breath and yell at the top of your lungs."

"What am I yelling?"

"How about 'I love yuccas' to start off with?"

Hutch wrinkled his nose. "This is stupid. I feel stupid."

"Nobody here. Nobody cares. Just you and me. Go for it."

"You first," Hutch challenged.

"All right." Starsky took a big breath, threw his arms open wide and yelled. "I LOVE MY TORINO!"

A few startled seagulls took flight. Hutch chuckled. He faced the ocean and took a deep breath then closed his eyes.

"I LOVE MY YUCCA PLANT!"

"That was good, pal, but nowhere near as loud as me. I think ya can do better."

"Nobody's as loud as you, Starsk!" Hutch pointed out.

Starsky punched his arm. "My turn again…I HATE VANESSA HUTCHINSON!"

Hutch stiffened. Starsky looked at him: it almost looked as if Hutch had stopped breathing. Starsky sighed and shook his head.

"I know your Lutheran upbringing probably frowns on hating people but if you're gonna hate anyone, she deserves it, and you need to acknowledge it. Stop letting it eat at you from the inside out," Starsky advised in a gentle voice.

Hutch swallowed. "I hate Vanessa!" Hutch tried but it came out as little more than his normal talking voice.

"Come on buddy, once more with feeling. Let's say it together after three…1,2,3."

"I HATE VANESSA!"

Starsky looked at his friend with an approving smile. "That's more like it…Okay, my turn again…I WANNA BE A COP!"

Hutch grinned and shouted straight away: "I WANT TO BE A COP!"

Starsky grinned too. "How about we shout the last one together? I think we should let the universe know we're going to be the best partners in Bay City."

Hutch nodded and, again, Starsky counted them in on three.

"WE'RE GOING TO BE THE BEST PARTNERS BAY CITY HAS EVER SEEN!"

Starsky clapped his hands together in delight. He did a little dance in the sand that had Hutch chuckling again.

"Right, jackets off." Starsky ordered, as he took his own leather jacket off and laid it down on the sand.

"What are we doing now?" Hutch asked, mystified.

"Something we should have done months ago. I'm going teach you some self-defence."

"We'll get taught that at the academy," Hutch said, as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"Yeah, I know that." Starsky paused, not quite sure how to get his message across. "Lookit. You're perfectly capable of defending yourself. You're strong. You're confident most of the time. You've got good reach. But when it comes to Vanessa, you're hesitant. She's like a cobra. She fixes you with her eyes and you can't look away. You've got to be able to react automatically to defend yourself, not freeze."

Hutch looked away from him and ran a hand over his face. Still facing away, he said, "She used to make me freeze…now it's more like I feel panicked by what I might have to do to stop her."

Starsky laid a hand on Hutch's arm. "I understand what you're saying. I think you'll be a lot happier, babe, and more confident, if you know how to disarm her. That's something I can help with. Today, she had that horse whip thing-."

"-Riding crop." Hutch corrected him automatically.

"Yeah, well, whatever it's called you need to be able to stop it without even thinking about it. So I'm gonna teach you. Okay?"

"Okay."

Over the next hour, Starsky ran Hutch through some basic self-defence drills until he felt Hutch could do them in his sleep. The sun was starting to go down as they picked up their jackets and started the walk back along the beach. Hutch flung his arm over Starsky's shoulders and Starsky reciprocated.

"Thanks, Starsk."

"'S okay. You feeling better?"

"Yeah, much better."

"Good. Let's grab a pizza on the way home, cook up a batch of popcorn and watch a movie."

"Sounds just like what Doctor Starsky ordered," Hutch said with a grin.