Back To You, a gone with the wind fanfic

Rhett had no idea how long has it been since the last time he stepped into the parlor of the monstrosity he has once called home, the only one ever since his father kicked him out. The house, while still a monstrosity, has a warm aura around it that he can't point at. He didn't write to anyone about his coming, nor did he expect such a warm welcome. It would be most likely to be thrown out of his own house due to the last time he and Scarlett spoke.

In his mind, he could picture Bonnie run to him after he got back from the bank as if nothing had happened, but it did and his little girl is gone for good. Leaving him unwanted anywhere else.

It would be expected of Scarlett to attending the mills this time of the day, to hear feminine giggle inside is quite a shock. The Yankees are long gone from Atlanta and the decent society of Atlanta no longer wanted to step inside the house to meet Scarlett.

A sewing circle. He walks right to a sewing circle heavy with gossip, the mistress of the house included. She didn't say much but smiling and making faces no less.

She is beautiful, even in the mourning attire she is wearing, not that he expect anything less of her. That green eyes of hers are no longer empty like it once did after Bonnie and even worse after Melanie, it would take him all his life to finally get that painful look she threw when she begged him not to live out of his mind.

"Ladies, Mrs. Butler." He greets, knowing none of them has acknowledged his coming.

"Rhett!" Scarlett exclaimed, almost jumping from her chair. She throws her sewing in her chair and gives him a kiss on his cheek, "You didn't tell me you would come."

"Surprising you is my favorite pastime activity, my pet." He smirks.

"If you'll excuse me, ladies."

With that, he leaves the ladies whose mind must have been full of malicious gossip to be spread around the town. Not that he blames them, with life as dull as they had, it would be just normal to find something interesting to talk about.

What he couldn't understand is why would any decent ladies of Atlanta, step their feet in his house. For Scarlett, no less. She is a social pariah of the town, and without Melanie, who has been buried for at least three months by now, would not even be invited into their house.

He still has his belonging in his old room, Scarlett seems to let it in its place. Knowing her, she might have been waiting for him to decide to be back. His mind wanders wildly to the event in his parlor. If anything, his leaving should have brought more disgrace into her reputation.

Has Scarlett played the wronged wife act to gain her reputation back?

The room looks like the last time he saw it, seeming no one dares to change it. Or because Scarlett was waiting for him to come back so she could lure him into her trap once again. He knew she said she loved him, and Scarlett is not Scarlett without her determination.

But it is too late. If Bonnie is still here, there would be so much thing he could do to acknowledge her love. After Bonnie died, he no longer felt anything, and her love seems meaningless as any. When she said it, tears all over her cheeks, he couldn't feel anything but pity towards her.

"Uncle Rhett!" it was Ella, Rhett would recognize that piercing voice anywhere.

"Hello, darling." He takes her on his arm. If anything, he does miss the children. They are not his by blood, but he is the only father figure they ever know. Leaving Scarlett left a bitter aftertaste on his soul, but leaving the children is more.

He feels guilty because he was supposed to be the father figure who protected them and held them when they heard about their Aunt Melly. How could he? When his own heart is shattered to pieces with no way of putting it back together. The children would be better without such a mess like him as a father.

"Mother said you are back! She said you're tired, and I could meet you for dinner." Ella threw her small hand all over his neck, "But I miss you. You were gone for too long."

"Where is your brother?" He asked.

"Wade and Beau are out with other boys, and they said I couldn't come. Mother said she would play with me, but she has sewing circle so mother said I could play with Prissy until Wade and Beau is home."

"Beau?" Now he is confused, he only left for three months, but it seems so many have happened since the last time he left.

"Yes! Beau lives here now, isn't it wonderful?" Ella said with excitement.

"And Uncle Ashley too?" He couldn't help himself from asking.

"No! Uncle Ashley move to New York, Beau is so sad."

Rhett chuckle. It seems the noble Ashley Wilkes has once again left his own son under the care of Scarlett's kindness. He couldn't take care of himself, let alone taking care of a growing boy so he left the mess for Scarlett to take care to like he always

did.

"Would you be a dear and join Uncle Rhett for ice cream?" He asks, Ella answers with an overexcited nod.

He takes her all over the town after ice cream to keep up appearance as he promised Scarlett. It feels nostalgic and somehow tragic, that the other person who used to walk with them would no longer be able to taste the sweetness of this ice cream any longer. By dinner, he knows people will start talking about his sudden reappearance.

It was quite a shock, including for Wade and Beau. Wade, who used to be so sweet to him no longer had that adoration in his face. His face is hardened, just like his mother. Beau still holds that innocent smile he inherits from his mother, the one that not even the war could take away from her.

Scarlett sits uncomfortably in her seat, she has dreamed of this time for quite some time. Dreaming that one day Rhett would be back and tell her he loves her, that his words when he left were just grief talking. But having him in her table, smiling to the children, slaps her even harder than any physical pain could do. He no longer gives a damn.

Not coming back means he could not meet her any longer, which means she is still in his mind. Coming back, while always wanted by her, means he was true to his word. He no longer feels anything but pity and kindness towards her. She has no idea whether to cry with sorrow or slap him for the pain she has to endure.

"Wade, how is school?" He asks.

No one but Ella has opened their mouth, he hasn't decided if it was because of the shock or because he no longer wanted in this dinner table. If the last one was the case, he would take his belongings and never coming back. Being back in the house, Bonnie had once called home is already painful as it is.

"It's good, Uncle Rhett."

He decides the latter was more appropriate for the boy. It was easy to blame him for the sorrowful event he has to endure. He was the one who chooses to leave when everything got messed up. Leave when her saint of an aunt leaves the world for good, leaving her for no good mother.

"What Wade means is he is doing good at school, don't you, Wade?" Scarlett elaborate, realizing the sudden tightness in the air.

"Yes, mother."

"How about you, Beau?" He asks.

"I'm doing well, Uncle Rhett." He gives him a smile, reminding him of his mother.

Once the awkward dinner is over, Scarlett puts the children to bed. It was quite a weird arrangement, but since Scarlett decides to move Wade into his own room, Beau joins him. Leaving Ella in the nursery, which is full of her dolls and decorated for a little girl.

Much to his surprise, Scarlett reads Ella to bed. She, who has never read any book but Lady Godey Magazine reads a child book with a sound so soft it melts his heart. He could not make it into Ella's bed. Instead, he was dumbfounded in front of the door, watching such maternal affection he had wished to see a few years ago.

He is angry, knowing Bonnie would never see this side of her. All she ever saw was an unworthy mother who was too busy pining over another man. Scarlett was never mean to their only daughter, but nor was she really mothering. It was unfair, he knew it very clearly. Still, no one could blame him for feeling what he feels.

"Goodnight, sweet Ella." She whispers, leaning her head closer to Ella's temple and plant a kiss on her forehead, "I love you."

Rhett leaves. She knew he has been watching her, yet she didn't make any attempt to acknowledge his presence. Sometimes she could be oblivious, but no one could be oblivious about his presence. He has the aura around him as if he always owns the place, even when he doesn't.

Having him in this house, hearing his footstep, seeing his face at the dinner table while knowing he had once loved her, and no longer feel the same way is a pure torture. When he made his presence known in the parlor earlier, she couldn't help herself but to jump at him. She wanted to take him into her arms and cuddle in his chest. She longed for him badly for the past three months.

She walked past Wade and Beau's bedroom. Her house is big enough to give the boys a separate room. The choice to finally sleep together was theirs, it was comforting to both of them to have each other during the night. Beau is sound asleep, but Wade is concentrating on his book.

That's just like her son, she wanted to tell how proud she was of him, but she kept her mouth shut. Everyone in this city knows it was not her but Melanie, who had always tended to his every need. Melanie is his real mother, not her. Now that Melanie is gone, the job passed onto her. Her and only her. She could never lean on Ashley, but for the first time since she was sixteen, she has to do it without Rhett too.

"Don't forget to turn off the light." She said.

Wade looks up with joys in his face. Instead of getting to sleep, he jumps out of his bed with his book on his left hand. "Do you have to do the books?"

"You know I always have time for you." She smiled.

He takes her right arm down the stairs to the parlor, as he always had since Melanie died. Ella is sad, but it doesn't take a toll on her like it does Wade. Almost everyone who has loved the boy is gone, including his uncle Rhett. Leaving him with her as a mother.

It started after she got back from Tara. Melanie spent most of her time in the parlor when she was in the house. That is where Scarlett found him, looking around with an empty look in his face. It turned her blood cold because she knew very well. She had the same look when her mother died.

"Wade?" She called.

"Yes, mother?" As if realizing he had done something wrong, his face turned red, "I will go back to my room."

She was eighteen at that time, with a lunatic father and dead mother. Her sisters are useless, and Melanie is still sick because of the baby. She kept every weep to herself until there were no more tears that could leave her eyes. Her eyes were sore, but it doesn't make her heart feel any lighter.

She knew how it felt like to not have anyone in her lowest moment. She has made a vow that none of her children would ever feel what she felt during the war. It was impossible to prevent Melanie's death, but she could do something to make him feel better. Someone else's presence, even a poor companion like her is still better than none.

"You could stay here if you wish."

Wade's eyes glint with disbelief. Never in his life, her mother let him do something out of the rule. They have the time to eat, sleep, and everything. All he could do was to follow the rules. Mother has made everyone's life easier with her hard work, not being a nuisance is good enough for her.

He watches as Scarlett move gracefully to the chair, his mother always has a way to make everyone feel intimidated. That included him. Unlike most children who find comfort with their mother, Wade is terrified of her. Her outburst is scary but her silence is deadly.

Tonight, despite her unusual silence and the sadness in her eyes, Wade didn't feel terrified of her presence, and instead finding it very soothing. Unlike Aunt Melly, mother didn't have the nature to comfort, but he could see she is trying.

"She has been a big part of our life, hasn't she?" Scarlett started, "I will miss her."

His hand turned into a fist. The pain is unbearable. He wanted to weep. Aunt Melly is more of a mother for him than mother has ever been. It's true Mother has always worked to make sure he would never be hungry again, but Aunt Melly offers him comfort mother could never give. He reminded himself how much mother hated it when he cries. She wanted him to be a little man, to grow up to be a fine gentleman. That's what he wanted too. To take care of mother and Aunt Melly, so they never have to be worried about anything anymore.

She moves closer to him, sensing the agony her only boy has to endure. Scarlett could be her mother, but Melanie is the real mother figure in the boy's life, and she knows very well how it feels like to lose one.

It was under an impulse, but never once she regrets it. She pulls him closer until his head is in front of her chest, letting him hide there for a while. She could feel her dress is soaking, and her boy is trembling along with sobs coming out of his mouth. Her own face is already wet with tears, but she didn't make any sound. They stayed there for a while.

Ever since the wartime, it was always the three of them. Beau was too small to understand, but they did. They have lost someone very dear, a part of their life, it was as bad as losing a limb. Scarlett doubts losing one would feel as bad as losing Melanie. They had always been together, and now Melanie is in a place better, leaving them behind to tend for themselves.

"Aren't you curious about my book tonight?" Wade asks.

"You know I do not, but I always listen." She smirks. "Do you know how much of this discussion has broadened your mother's simple mind?"

Ever since that night, both Scarlett and Wade made some excuses every night to meet each other in the parlor. Until one day, it is no longer awkward. Their meeting is just another habit they developed to get to know each other better. Scarlett has lost so many years of the boy's life, and without anyone in the picture, it was on her account to make sure Wade to grow to be a fine man like his father.

It was comforting for Scarlett. Wade is smarter than most of the boys his age, talking to him feels like the combination of both Rhett and Melanie. He is sharper than Melanie, some of Rhett's trait that must have rubbed off on him.

"Your mind is not simple, mother. It's practical." He grins.

"Now you sound like your uncle Rhett." She sighs.

This kind of relationship is what she has always wanted for her children. She remembered those days when she was younger, wishing to have a closer relationship with her mother like the Tarleton's. For quite some time, she has lost her mind. Wandering around the city as if she is a young belle without a passel of brats, but she finally got back to her sanity.

To be a lady, someone she has always wanted to be is no fun. That was the sacrifice she has to make, no more fun companion for her, no more Yankee's wife. Only talk of the war with Atlanta's old guard. But she could smile, knowing she has done the right thing for her children. Her mind is at ease, knowing her mother would be proud of her and the changes she has made.

"I just read this book," He started. "What I can't put off my mind is because the man said, sometimes people don't want to see the world. Because it's terrifying, but we don't know the real world until we see it."

Scarlett smiles, discussing a book is not what she would call as fun. But looking at Wade, wish his brow folded, trying to find the answer on his own, making her feel proud. Because after all the hardship, her boy made it to be the man he has always wanted to be. An educated man like his father.

"It is terrifying when you don't know what to expect, don't you think?"

"Is it? I have never really been anywhere."

"That's not true, you've been to Tara and New Orleans. In a few years, you will be off to Boston, leaving your poor mother alone." She teases.

"Perhaps we could go somewhere."

"You could go to Charleston for summer." She offers.

"And where would you be, mother?"

"Tara."

"That was the definition of trapped." Wade chuckles, and she couldn't help but laugh.

It was true, she has never really been anywhere. She never did things had she not know she would thrive. People wouldn't think Scarlett O'Hara is a coward, but she actually is. Her business is a way to make her feel safe, she built them knowing she could bear the risk if anything had gone wrong. That was so much like Rhett, never put something valuable at stake.

Tara didn't trap her, she trapped herself under its soil. Knowing it will always offer her comfort she longed for. For years, she loved Ashley because she was too terrified to find out what will happen had she stop loving him.

Too much time has wasted, she is no longer a young belle. There could be no more mistake she could make, she has three children under her wings. Their life is hanging on hers. She is the only person strong enough to bear them.

"Goodnight, mother." Wade knows when her mother's mind is elsewhere. He gave a peck on her cheeks and left the room.

Scarlett put her focus back on her book. After Melanie died, she has to keep up with her numerous charity it only left her sometime during the night to check on the book. Her mind wandered to that time when she hated her, wishing to be her. She has her wish, Scarlett lived her new life doing what Melanie did and find comfort in it, but she could not find the joy she thought she will have once the woman in question is gone. If anything, she feels even more empty.

"Mrs. Butler, I presume." He greets.

"Rhett!" Scarlett exclaimed, "Off to Belle?"

It shouldn't have gotten out of her mouth. She should just keep her mouth shut. Rhett is here because of his kindness not to put anymore black mark in her already tattered relationship, she shouldn't give him another reason to live.

If it was her choice, she wanted to tie him up in her room so he could not leave her ever again. But Scarlett has come a long way from that, she realized she could not always get her way. It is easier to just snap at him, but she realized the man in front of him is also hurting as much as she is, if not more.

"I'm here to keep the gossip down, not to make more." He smirks, taking a seat in the armchair beside her.

The air suddenly feels suffocating, this is what they should have done ever since the marriage. A simple conversation in their own parlor after the kids are off to bed. But it has been six years since they are married, and their conversation is too bitter to be called simple.

"Thank you." Was the only word she could utter.

"Why is Beau here?"

Scarlett looks up, Rhett used to speak in riddle, but this time he speaks plainly. Perhaps she is not the only one who has changed. Perhaps, times and misery have changed the man she loves more than anything in the world.

"He came with us to Tara. After that, he just kind of lives here." She explains.

She still remembered that day before she took the train to Tara when Beau's eyes begged her to take him with her. His voice was hoarse after hours of crying, asking her if she could join us. With that big brown eyes Melanie used to put when she asks something of her.

"Mother said if anything goes wrong, I could come to you, Auntie Scarlett." Was his exact word.

Against her better judgment, she takes Beau with her to Tara. They spend a week at the place, which must have done good for the boy. No one said a word when Beau started having a sleepover at her house. Everyone was too busy to tend for Ashley.

"Please, satisfy my curiosity, why is Ashley Wilkes's son is here and not with his father. Is this your way to have him under your grasp?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is it not clear to you?" He smirks, "What I wanted to ask, my pet, is having Beau under your house is your way to keep him close?"

"How dare you?" She shots.

Rhett has only been here less than twenty-four hours, and she had lost temper more than most of the time when he left. It was always clear to her how much his words have a hold over her. To make it worst, he knew just the right word to pull her anger.

"Ruffle your feather, my dear. It was an innocent question."

"Your definition of innocent must be different from mine." She snaps. "Do you really want to know or are you here to mock?"

"I have always been interested in your life."

Scarlett's chest ache. He doesn't know how much that mocking words meant to her, now that she already knows how she feels about him.

"You might not know, but Ashley has moved to New York since two months ago." Scarlett explained.

Rhett made a mental note that Ella is not lying about what she said, what goes through his mind is why. The man is finally free of his wife and could finally marry his object of desire. Rhett would gladly give a divorce had Scarlett asks for one.

"After Melanie died, Ashley seems lunatic, so when Beau asked me to take him to Tara, I complied. I stayed there for a week, but I realized there are too many things to do here, so I take the children back. When I got here, Ashley is no longer in the state of lunatic. He is just drunk most of the time, I need to take care of his mills."

That sounds like the noble Mr. Wilkes, spineless and has no wish to go on with his life. Scarlett might hate her children, but if anything happened, she would stand tall just to make sure they live a comfortable life, he couldn't say as much for Ashley. He was selfish. Thinking that he was the only one who felt the agony, hiding under both Scarlett and Melanie's skirt without realizing he has a growing boy that needs him.

"He was like that for almost a month until Uncle Henry thought it will be better if he moved, so he took a job in New York and sold the mills. India joined him. It will be natural for Beau to join him, but Uncle Henry and I don't think they could handle Beau. India will be looking after Ashley most of the time." She continued. "Beau should only stay with me until summer when the school year ended, but the boy has asked me numerous times if he could stay with me here in Atlanta. His father's drunken state must have terrified him."

"Would you?" he finds himself asks.

"I have no right to keep him here if Ashley wanted him in New York. Uncle Henry said we should wait until Ashley is better. If he didn't, he would most likely stay with me. I have promised Melly to keep him safe, and keeping my promise is the only way I know how to repay her kindness."

"I see."

There was agony in her eyes when she spoke of Melanie's name. She must have thought she could cover her pain with a smile, but Rhett knew her better than anyone. He knows she is sorry about her behavior with Melanie while she is still alive, but sorry is not going to change anything.

"Why are you here?"

"Checking on the books." She eyed her book.

"Why not in your office?"

"Wade used to talk to me before bed here, discussing his books and other stuff."

He chuckled, knowing how boring it must be for Scarlett. He doesn't even have any idea why Scarlett put up with such an act. She was never a good mother to her children, her show wouldn't last long, and it will only hurt her children all the more.

"Don't mock! I'm smarter now." She smiled, "Goodnight, Rhett."

"Goodnight, Scarlett."

His eyes wander to the parlor, it was no longer empty and cold like when he lives in the house. The parlor is now filled with a used pillow and some books here and there. He could even find Ella's doll in some places.

There are changes in Scarlett's life, but he couldn't be a part of it. He could feel the warmth in her eyes when she looked at her children, the softness of her voice when she talked. She is everything he ever wished for, but he has thrown that chance to be with her. She, while still his in name is no longer his. He had left her high and dry that night when Melanie died. Even if he wished to be back, he has no right to take the place at the head of the table as if nothing had happened.

If twelve years ago, anyone told him he would be tired after a trip from Charleston to Atlanta, he would laugh at their face. But now, in his age, the trip has taken a toll on him. He doesn't feel tired, but the fact that he woke up when the sun is already up told him much.

He realized his sudden awakeness was not because of the light. The house was vibrating with steps and sound. Ella's high voice, followed by the boy's face and Scarlett's laughter. Now he knows he is tired, even Scarlett is up before him.

Putting his wrapper on, he gets out of his room to find Scarlett and the children in the dining room having their breakfast. Scarlett is dressed in her mourning attire, and the boys are grinning with their school uniform. Ella is screaming at her brother because one or two things they do, but Scarlett made no attempt to stop her.

Instead, the lady laughs at their antics. A melodic laughing voice he could recognize anywhere.

"Good morning."

The quarrel stopped, Ella's eyes lit up when she sees him. He knows Wade has a word or two towards him, but Ella's adoration toward him making him feel better to sit at the dining table he knew he is not wanted. Scarlett smiled at him as he takes a seat at the head of the table.

"Who would have thought I could be up before your Uncle Rhett?" She grins.

"In my defense, I just have a very tiring trip back home." He makes a hurtful face, but Scarlett just laughs.

Once the breakfast is over, the boys walked closer to Scarlett, whom much to his surprise give them a kiss on both of their cheeks. It was odd to see such a performance, but he bites his tongue before saying any words.

"Don't forget to be good and make me proud." She said as the boy leaves her for school, "Now, it's time you join Prissy and wait for Ms. Caroline."

"Can't I come with you today?" Ella made puppy eyes at her mother which was only rewarded with a laugh.

"I don't think so, darling."

Ella runs up the stairs back to her room, and Scarlett looks at him, who is still looking at her with amazement. He only left for three months, but there are too many changes in both Scarlett and the house.

"What do you plan on doing today?" He asks, knowing Ella wouldn't ask to join her at the store.

"I need to go to the orphanage today." She explains shortly, sensing there would be mocking comes from him.

"Orphanage?" He cocks his eyebrow, "I shall come with you, then. I wanted to know what the noble Scarlett O'Hara does with the orphans."

"You don't have to come if you only wanted to mock." She snaps.

Against her better judgment, she waited for him to dress in the parlor. It was stupid of her, but perhaps if Rhett knew how much she has changed, he would want to come back home with her. She kept hoping that one day he will realize that she is worthy of his time. One day, he will come back and never leave.

He dressed extravagantly, just like he always had. Only he could make such an impression wearing black. She could see he has lost some of the fat he gained after Bonnie died. It pains her, but perhaps some time apart is just what he needs.

"Takes you long enough."

"I'm sorry, my dear. Not every day one could see his wife doing an honorable thing."

There comes another mock, his way to keep his heart from her. He should have stopped doing it, she knew he loved her, and his love has worn out. He doesn't have to remind her every second what a mess their marriage ended up.

They make a stop at Mrs. Merriweather's bakery. Much to Rhett's amazement, Scarlett seems at ease talking to the lady. He needs to pinch his inner palm a few times just to be sure he is not dreaming, but the lady in black is indeed his wife.

"Good morning, Mrs. Merriweather." Scarlett greets.

"Scarlett!" She exclaims, "I thought you wouldn't come today."

"It was quite late, but what can I say, Rhett decides to join me last minute today. Are the cakes ready?"

"Of course, it is. I give your children's cheesecake more strawberry, like you asked." She paused, "How are they?"

"They are better, Beau is still sad sometimes, but I hope he it will ease with time." Scarlett smiles.

After Bonnie died, she longed for such comfort from the old guard. This is here people, those who lost what she lost, feels what she feels. They could be dull and boring sometimes, but they are more comforting than her Yankee's friend who didn't give a damn why she mourns for Melanie.

"Have you heard from Ashley?"

"India wrote me, she said he is coping. I just hope for the best."

Rhett takes the boxes of cake, wondering how many kids does she intend to feed. It was very Scarlett, once she does something, she would not do it halfway.

"It's good to see you back, Captain Butler. Scarlett misses you very much."

"So do I." Rhett smirks.

Scarlett knows it was a lie, being told as a way to mock her, but she couldn't help but hope that what he said was true. That at least he spent one night thinking about her and how she copes with her life after he left so abruptly when Melanie died.

They arrived at the orphanage not long after. It was strange to find Scarlett doing something honorable. He shouldn't have come. He should have stayed in the house, not knowing how much Scarlett has changed. That way, he would not wish to have another chance with her.

"Ms. Scarlett!" One of the girls exclaims when she sees her.

Scarlett walks gracefully towards the children who have made a circle around her. She must have come to the orphanage quite often until the children recognize her. If his eyes are not wrong, it seems Scarlett is quite at ease with these children, too.

And the children? They simply adore her. It is easy to love Scarlett. She has the pretty look and dimpled smile that drawn people around her. Her temper and impatient nature are what keeps the children away from her.

He has seen her with her children. It was easy to assume that after Melanie died and no one could tend to the children, she takes the job of mothering herself. But this, seeing her playing with the orphans, is too much. It almost feels like he doesn't know her at all.

"Who are you?" One boy asked.

"That man is my husband, darling, Mr. Rhett Butler." She explains.

"But you can't be married!" Scarlett laughs.

"We can't marry you if you are married!" Another boy screams. Scarlett let out another giggle.

"There, there, I love you all just the same. Now if you will excuse me, I believe Pork has some cakes for you. I wanted to speak to Miss Catherine."

Rhett followed as Scarlett made her move to Miss Catherine's room to whatever affair she might have with the lady. The woman in question is tall, a bit too thin, and has the perfect magnolia skin like Scarlett does.

"Scarlett!" She exclaims, "It is so good to have you here! I must thank you for the teacher you sent us, she is a darling!"

"Catherine." Scarlett greets, "This is my husband, Captain Rhett Butler."

"Oh! It is so good to finally meet you, your wife has told me so much about you."

Unlike Scarlett, the woman has so many things to talk about it makes Rhett's head spin. He has long since decided not to be in the middle of decent society. Ever since Bonnie's death, and after he left Scarlett to Charleston, he spent most of his time in his family's plantation. Trying to rebuild it just to waste his time.

Scarlett made some chatter with the woman in which he didn't put his mind on, at least not until she gives the lady some money.

"Dear, thank you very much. I believe the kids will have a warm winter this year."

"I hope so, too." Scarlett smiles, "Please tell me if you ever need anything."

With that, she left the room, followed by him. He has thought how Scarlett regain her reputation ever since sets himself in her sewing circle. It seems he finally found out her way, she followed him. Giving donations to the orphans must have melted the old guard's heart.

"Miss Scarlett, are you going home?" A girl asked her.

Scarlett lowered herself so she is at the same height as the girl, "Yes, dear. Do you like the cake?"

"I do, the cake is so good. So you won't be teaching us anymore?" There was sadness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, darling. Don't you like your new teacher?"

"Ms. Charlotte is nice, but she is not you." Her face is red with embarrassment.

"Oh, you're just darling! But I will be back next week, alright?" The girl nods with excitement.

Rhett helps her get into the carriage, it was kind of hard to bit his tongue before letting out snide remarks or asking her the question that has been bothering him. Once she settles into her seat, he could no longer hold his tongue.

"Teach?"

"Only for a few weeks, they couldn't find a teacher so I offer them my help."

"How very generous of you." He mocks.

The changes in her face was very obvious, from the full joy after they slip off the house to painful look only he could put on her. For a split second, he feels really guilty but then Scarlett put on another mask on her face, something she somehow managed to do since he left.

"Thank you." She replied, as if not knowing he didn't mean it as a compliment.

"Why do you even start doing this?"

If there is one thing he is the most curious about, it is Scarlett giving away money to children. The ones she had no idea exist. She could be good with her children because they are hers, or at least Melanie's but the orphans? That doesn't sound like Scarlett at all.

"Aren't you full of questions today?" She looks at him for a while, "After Melanie died, and you left, I was left with Wade, Ella, and Beau. Ashley was too lunatic, and India is taking care of him so the children stayed with me. After I settle back in Atlanta, I realized my two children will not be invited anywhere with my reputation. Like you said, once I wanted it back, it was already in tatter. So I started campaigning for my reputation, with India's help."

"India?" He smirks.

"Too many things happened, you don't know how hard it was for us at her funeral. And she promised Melly in her deathbed to bury the hatchet with me." There was no accusation in her voice, but he still feels guilty to leave the way he did three months ago. He should have stayed at least until the funeral.

"Well, I followed your lead and start doing honorable things the only way I know how, giving away money. That's the first time I stepped my feet in that orphanage. It was never my intention to get too attached, but the children are just," She stopped, perhaps looking for the right word to explain her unusual behavior, "Comforting."

Rhett tried so hard to stop himself from chuckling, Scarlett O'Hara finding comfort from children is the last thing he expected. This must be a dream, and he is still sleeping in his mother's house longing to see her green eyes.

"So I came back the very next day and the day after. I suppose Catherine thought I was looking for some redemption so she offered me to teach for a while. That is, until the old guard started calling and I joined some charity event they made."

"That's a wonder how easily the old guard is being fooled by us."

The carriage stops in front of their house, Rhett jumped and help Scarlett out of it. Their hands were still touching when Scarlett open her mouth, "Probably because they know mine is not an act like yours."

He blinked and watched as Scarlett making an entrance into her house. Scarlett was never the one to make such remarks, but it seems she has made so many changes during the time he left. Unlike him, her life keeps going.

She is always stronger than him. She could lose a daughter, a sister, and a husband in a short amount of time and keep going. He couldn't. When he think of it, Scarlett has so many things to fight for, her children, her family, everything. He doesn't. Before Bonnie, Scarlett is the only thing that matters to him.

"Miz Scarlett, Mizus Picard and Mizus Elsing is waiting for you."

He thought it was Prissy, but her voice so much higher than that. This one reminds him so much of Mammy, but Mammy couldn't be here. The old servant is staying in Tara soon after Bonnie died, she could no longer remain in the cold house after her. But Rhett could recognize her anywhere, she is the only one beside Melanie who understand Scarlett and still love her for who she is.

She stood still despite her old age, and his face turns into a big grin. Perhaps his visit would not be as bad. Mammy is back, why and how Scarlett managed to convince her to stay, he has no idea. Mammy always knew more than she let on, and perhaps she knew he has left her lamb and decided to help.

Rhett followed her to the parlor, still wondering what in the world would bring the two ladies into their house. As far as he knew, Fanny always hated Scarlett in her involvement on her latest husband's death, and they never make amend after. It was not possible to forgive her under such a short amount of time.

"Maybelle!" Scarlett exclaimed, and then she nods her head to the other lady, "Fanny."

Maybelle gives Scarlett a peck on both of her cheeks and her hand for Rhett to kiss, followed by Fanny. If he could choose, he wanted to go back to his room and pack back to Charleston. Atlanta is too much to bear even without the old guard. Scarlett alone managed to do a good job.

"I'm here to fetch Raoul, he joined Wade and Beau after school." Maybelle explained.

"Oh! They must be in the garden, would you like some tea?" She offers.

Both Maybelle and Fanny nods their head politely, Rhett made his excuse to call the boys. To be honest, he can't be in the same room where Scarlett managed to rub his face how much she thrives after he left her.

Most of all, he can't stay and see what a wonderful life she leads without him.

Scarlett sits in front of the two ladies. Maybelle was one of the first who started to acknowledge her when she decided to start campaigning for her reputation. Fanny was a different story. She still hated her after the accident in Shantytown, and Scarlett doubts the woman could ever forgive her.

"How are the children, dear?" Maybelle starts, "India wrote me, she was quite worried you haven't written her back. She told me to put an eye on you, just in case you are too busy."

Fanny snorts, but Scarlett chuckle. Unlike her brother, India is not the best person to go with words, communicating with her through letters is almost as bad as communicating with someone who still hates her.

"I must have forgotten to send the letter. Not because I'm busy, mind you." She waves her hand to the ladies, "I no longer teach the orphans. It just slips my mind."

During her stay after Melanie died, India calls to the house almost every day to make sure her nephews is not corrupted by his Auntie Scarlett. That was when she started to warm up to her. They are not the best of friend like she and Melanie, but India always make sure she is not working herself too much. Most likely because of the blackness under her eyes and the emptiness on her look.

Once she moves to New York, Maybelle took her place. The lady calls on her at least once a week to makes sure she and the children are alright. No one could take care of her, Aunt Pitty is too sad to wander around the city, and her husband is gone. She bets on her money. It was India that asks Maybelle for a favor.

"How are the Wilkes's?" Fanny asks.

It was quite odd. Once upon a time when someone called the Wilkes's, her mind fly to Melanie and Ashley. No matter how much she hated that she could not be in Melanie's position. Today, Melanie is out of the picture and left Ashley and India.

"Her last letter told me Ashley is getting better, India was so glad."

"As she should be, it must be hard for her to be apart from her family." Maybelle clasps her hand.

"Speaking of her family, how is Beau?" Fanny asks.

Suddenly Scarlett knew, Fanny has never set foot on her house, not even during sewing circle. The only reason she is here to get a story or two from her. The town has been buzzing ever since Rhett gets back to Atlanta. They must have speculated something.

"He is well." Scarlett answers, "It has been hard on her, but I suppose having Wade around helps."

"Not as much as having his father." She retorts, "Will he be joining Ashley to New York?"

"We don't know yet, Uncle Henry said he could once the school year is over, but he wanted to stay in Atlanta. To be honest, it's not my place to say anything." She gives Fanny her best smile.

Rhett joined the ladies with three boys behind him and Ella in his arm. It was quite a few to see another girl in his arm. Reminded her so much of Bonnie. Her mind wanders if Bonnie is still here, would she take Ella's place?

"Mother." Raoul greets his mother and sits beside him.

The conversation became uncomfortable since Fanny asked her so many questions, it was no wonder Maybelle cut her visits short after Raoul is back. She walked the three out of her house and wave her hand with a smile.

She sits in the armchair soon after her guests left. The children have gone off somewhere, and for the first time in some months, she is glad to be left alone. Rhett's visit is tiring her, she could take anything but Rhett Butler and Maybelle's visit is not helping.

Her letter is not forgotten, she replied to it as soon as the letter arrives and Scarlett was never the one to forget something. The problem was there was not only one letter from New York, Ashley has wrote to her too, and while she has write her reply, she is not ready for him to read it just yet.

Scarlett O'Hara is not a morning person, especially on Sunday. She hardly goes to the church after the one and has stopped altogether since she married Rhett. Since Melly's death, she has another thing every Sunday.

Rhett looks at her in awe. Not every day he could see Scarlett holding so many flowers in her hand. Her wardrobe is all in black, she is still in mourning. A bonnet covered her head, and her shoulder was covered in a shawl. She dutifully kisses all the children before steps out of the house.

He chuckles, Scarlett has so many things going on in her life she even needs to get out of the house on Sunday or perhaps she just wanted to get away from him. No one does work on Sunday, and his wife no longer goes to the church since he marries her.

"I didn't know you have a certain fondness for flower."

"Then you don't know much about me, I have a fondness towards pretty things."

"Wrong. You have a fondness for expensive things." He mocks, "Where are you going?"

"The cemetery."

Suddenly it makes sense. She holds red roses, pink roses, and a big bucket of blue hydrangea on her hand. Blue for Bonnie. Rhett hasn't visited his little girl ever since he left Scarlett three months ago, but he doesn't want to visit Bonnie with her.

Against his better judgment he finally says, "I'll join you."

Scarlett only nods and gets into the carriage. Ever since the funeral, Scarlett has never seen Rhett in the cemetery. She knew Rhett visits Bonnie from time to time, but he never asked her. It was quite a shock but still a good one.

"That was quite a lot of flower." He comments once they are off the carriage.

"I have lost a lot."

Rhett takes the flower from her hand, she made a ridiculous picture with so many flowers on her hand. More like beautiful than ridiculous, but he refused to admit that. She walks with her hand around his arm to Charles's grave and takes a bucket of red roses from his hand.

He refused to see her and look another way, anything but her. She lowered her body and start talking, "Wade is doing great at school, he still wanted to go to Harvard like you. I would like him to stay with me, but I guess that's out of the question. He told me I was trapped with my love for Tara! My, he is even smarter than me. You would be proud of him. I will visit you next week."

She moves to another grave, this time is Frank's. Rhett has never seen it. He didn't come to his funeral. Instead, he proposed to his wife when his body is not even cold yet. He owed him an apology but not today, not in front of Scarlett.

"Ella started her French the other day, she is good at it. She has a new doll from Rhett called Mrs. O and gets into a fight with her brother almost every day." Scarlett laughs. There was not much she could say to Frank, if she started to say sorry, there would be no end of it. She owed so much to him and did so little in return. For that, she will be forever guilty.

The next one is Melanie's. This time, she takes the pink roses. Pink for friendship, Rhett is amazed at this one. She has made a lot of change but to start thinking of the meaning for every flower? Rhett watched her this time, focusing on her eyes that change from emptiness to sadness. Her hand rub headstone, she stays silent for a while.

"Ashley wrote to me, he is not so drunk anymore. I know I promised you to take care of him but it's just so hard. If only you're here, you would know what to do. Melly, I-." She stops and looks at Rhett as if she wanted to say something, but she bit the bottom of her lip and continue, "Beau is well, Wade takes care of him, and they made mischief almost every day. After everything that happened, I'm just so glad to see them smile. Now that Ashley is more like himself, there is a big chance he would move to New York, but I don't know yet. He misses you so much, we all do."

Finally, they made it to the last one, both Scarlett and Rhett stood still in front of the small graves in front of them. There were times when she goes here by herself to ended up weeping uncontrollably, wishing to have Bonnie back in the house. She would do anything just to see her big blue eyes one more time. She takes the last bucket of flowers, the blue hydrangea.

"Bonnie, your daddy is here, do you miss him?" She starts, she won't say much. Not in front of Rhett or she won't stop crying, "I miss you."

Her hand caresses the tombstone like she hardly did to Bonnie when she was still alive, how she regrets being such a selfish mother. She has six years of Bonnie's life only to waste it for her selfish wish, and now she regrets it in every step she took. It was hard to move her body every time she visits Bonnie. Once when India was still here, she practically needs to drag Scarlett. How she wished to follow Bonnie and Melanie.

"Scarlett." Rhett pulls her body so she could stand, and they walk out of the cemetery on silence.

If it was his wish, he wanted to stay and talk to Bonnie about the numerous things that had happened in his life since their daughter left, but he always feels it was too precious to be shared with Scarlett. He will visit her some other time.

The moment before was confusing for him. Of all the years they have been married, the only time Scarlett has visited the cemetery is for Bonnie's funeral. He knew before she goes to Marietta that his wife visits Bonnie from time to time but never once has she visit Charles of Frank.

Once the carriage stops, he jumped out of it and walk to the library without helping her down. Not that Scarlett needs any help, either. He needs to make up is his mind. All of this is just a show Scarlett needs to put into pursuing him. Once he melts under her charm, she would be the selfish little ignorant he always knew.

He lounged on the sofa, the library is one of his safest place in the house. While no one would bother him in his room, it feels more like a jail room than a bedroom. The one that keeps him from his own wife. Scarlett won't bother to sit with him in the library, he doubts the woman has ever brushed her hand on the door. That was why he almost jump from his seat when the door suddenly opened.

"Uncle Rhett!" Wade exclaim, obviously as startled as Rhett is. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you're here."

"That's alright, Wade."

Wade, a boy he always considered as his son, even more than his protégé in New Orleans no longer has that sparkling adoration in his eyes when he saw him. Rhett knew it would most likely Scarlett's doing to put such malicious idea in his head. But Wade has always been a smart boy, he knew Rhett takes care of him better than his own mother.

"You come here often?" He asks.

"Yes, sir. Sometimes Beau and Ella are too loud." He said, "If you'll excuse me, Uncle Rhett."

It annoys him to no end. The boy couldn't even spend more than five minutes in the same room with him. He hardly acknowledged Rhett's visit and hardly call him. During dinner, Rhett knew he is being ignored. Wade gave him the same treatment his mother used to do during their marriage.

"Is there a problem, Wade?" He asks, sounds harsher than he intends to. The boy looked at him with questions all over his face, "Sit, son."

Wade makes a move to the chair in front of him, there was confidence in the way he brings himself. Reminded him so much of his wife. It was quite a pity he couldn't see how much Wade has grown during his time out. The man in front of him is no longer the boy who is too afraid of his own shadow and hide behind Scarlett's skirt.

"Is there a problem, Wade?" He repeats one more time.

"There is a lot of problems since you left, sir. I suppose you already knew."

Rhett wanted to laugh. After spending so much time with him, it was only natural one of his traits rub off on the boy. He speaks more like Rhett than Charles. Scarlett must be confused to no end if one day she finds herself in an argument with her son.

"Now, Wade, you know which problem I'm talking about." He jests.

"I assure you, sir. I don't."

"Hmh." Rhett scoffs, trying to stop himself from chuckling. He finds himself in a very interesting situation. Wade has his mother determination, but he was raised by him and Melanie. That's what makes him sharper than most boys of his age and will no doubt be a better man than he ever was.

"The problem I'm talking about, is the one between you and me."

The mixture look of hatred and confusion in Wade's face was pure Scarlett. "There isn't one, sir. I'm only concerned for mother."

"So, your mother has talked to you about our problem." He concludes.

"I beg to differ, we hardly talk about you."

At this, Rhett couldn't help himself from laughing. Talking to Wade was like talking to both Rhett and Scarlett under the same body. Her determination and temper, mixed with his ability to twist every word to have more meaning.

"I see." He smirks, "If I may ask, what are your concern about your mother?"

"You must have known about it."

"I assure you, son. I don't."

"That is not possible, people have been talking about you and mother."

"Are they speculating a divorce? You should have known your mother will not consider it."

"No, sir. People have been talking about mother since the funeral. She has been," Wade paused, "better. And they start assuming it was because you have left. They are quite concerned now that you are back. because they thought, "

Rhett cocks his eyebrow but Wade continues, "Well, they thought you are bad for her."

"I see. You may leave."

Wade left him dumbstruck, his eyes closed tightly. It would be expected if the old guard started whispering about a divorce. Him leaving her the night Melanie died must have wags some nasty tongue around town. This gossip is not what he has been anticipating.

It was more than he anticipates and makes his stomach knots in an uncomfortable way. Not because of the lie that was spread but because of the truth in it.

Scarlett is a child, at least that was what he believes until three months ago. She might be old enough to choose whatever she wished to do but there is always a hand in her mischief. His hand. Whether it was getting out of her fake mourning, building her mills, or marrying a man so soon after her husband died. It was all his.

Once upon a time, when he was still living in a world consist of himself and only him, he thought if Scarlett knew him better, she would love to join him in his loneliness. What a lie it was, he had nothing to offer her but money, and she wanted the world for herself.

What they say was true, and it angers him even more. More than knowing Scarlett, despite her declaration of love before he left, could manage to make a fine life without him while his life was a mess. He could not find the grace and charm he was looking for in Charleston. Nothing. He once again left the city empty-handed.

He decides it will be best to skip the supper instead of ruining everyone else's good mood. His hand covered his eyes while he lay on the sofa.

It was almost midnight when he decided to get out of the library, his first thought was to go to Belle's. Scarlett no longer keeps liquor in the house, perhaps her own way to stop her drinking. And the one he has is not enough to drown himself as drunk as he wishes.

That was before he walks through the parlor with her reading a letter. Her eyes focused on the words like she has never been. There were confusion and sadness in her eyes. It was quite funny how Scarlett could make such a beautiful picture even with all the sorrow covering her heart.

"Scarlett." he greets.

She was startled, and with a speed he had never seen in her, she puts the letter under the pile of books she is working on. Whatever it was in the letter must be more than some stupid business letter, and he wanted to know.

"Love letter?" He smirks.

"You could say so."

"My, should I get my dueling gun ready? You should know I wouldn't mind giving you a divorce."

"You should just go back to bed if you wanted to be nasty." She snaps.

"I'm not your children, Scarlett. You can't send me off to bed when you're annoyed." He chuckles, "I'm here for a pleasant talk with my wife."

"It's not pleasant if you keep bringing up divorce. I don't want a divorce!"

"Ruffle your feathers, I will grant you one if you wish. Until then, I suppose I have to wait."

She sighs, clearly annoyed but knew there is nothing she could do to kick him out of his own parlor or send him back to his room. Her hand takes the pencil beside the book and start doing her book. It was quite a picture, her eyebrow creased and sometimes she yawns.

"Can I ask something?"

"Ask away, you never need my permission."

"How do you get Atlanta under your palms so soon? It took me at least a year."

Scarlett looks up, "India. She is my biggest enemy and campaigning for my reputation. The old guard must have pitied me."

"Still, I don't think they could forgive you so soon."

"You don't know how it was at her funeral."

"How was it?" He knew it must be one of the hardest day for her. It was quite a shock that she even attend the funeral. Then again, leaving is never her thing, it was his. Scarlett always stays and fight.

"You should have stayed if you're curious." She spats, "Ashley was too weak to do anything, so India tended him most of the time, Aunt Pitty fainted several times Uncle Peter needs to help her walk, which left me with the children. I left Ella at home, but Wade and Beau are crying most of the time and that makes my hand full. India almost faint, so I need to tend to her, too. It was quite tragic."

"Tragic was the highlight of your life, dear."'

"I suppose it is. Well, after that, Beau refused to go back to their house with Ashley. And India thought I need to recover my reputation for his sake, so she helped me."

Rhett was about to make a nasty remark about her recovering her reputation for Ashley's son and not her own but stopped by a step behind them. It must be one of the children.

"Aunt Scarlett." He called.

"Beau! Why are you awake? Is something bothering you?"

"I can't sleep. I wanted to ask you something, and Wade told me to find you here."

Scarlett pats the space beside her so Beau can sit, "What is it, darling?"

Rhett knew he should leave, clearly he is not wanted in this conversation, but he stayed. No matter how painful it is to see how motherly Scarlett knowing the fact Bonnie could never know how it was to have a good mother, he wanted to see. His curiosity got the best of him, he needed to know if everything was just an act.

"The boys told me that I should leave with my father." He starts, "But I don't want to go to New York, Auntie. I wanted to stay here with you and Wade, can I stay with you?"

Scarlett closes her eyes and wraps her hand around Beau's shoulder, she can't promise Beau anything knowing that she has no right to keep Beau in her house. If Ashley wanted Beau with him, she needs to help him pack.

"I can't promise you anything, Beau. Your father misses you very much, but I think he will understand if you wanted to stay here."

"So you don't mind having me here?"

"Of course, I don't! Your mother is a dear sister to me, and she asks me to take care of you. Why would you think that?"

"You see, the boys said that you are not my mother so,-" He stops, realizing the tense on his Aunt's shoulder.

"You are not mine, but you were born on my hand. You are as good as mine." She pats his hand, "Come on, let's take you to bed."

He waited until Scarlett is out of bed. It was never his intention to go over her letter, but the way she hides it from him made him curious. If it wasn't for Beau, he might never get the chance to know what it was all about.

A letter from Ashley Wilkes. He should have known better. Her declaration of love was all lie, and he spends most of his night thinking what a fool he was. To left her when he had her right where he wanted her. She said them only to keep him under her palms.

Dearest Scarlett,

India wrote you every week, and she told me to write you a letter. To tell you that I'm doing fine. Uncle Henry was right, it's easier to move on with life in a city where I don't see Melly in every step I take. For once, I don't think of the old days and start moving on with my life, you would be proud.

I know you were never one to read a long letter, you hardly like to read. I will try to keep my letter short for you.

First, I wanted to thank you for having Beau with you, it was more than I could ever ask for. In his last letter, Uncle Henry told me it will be better to wait until the end of the school year before moving Beau to another school. Melanie hated the idea of Beau being raised with Yankee children, and I was still considering which one is best for him. The last time I saw him, Beau was quite determined to stay with you. No wonder, even Melly put more faith in you than she ever did me.

In his last letter, Uncle Henry wrote that Beau would very much prefer to stay with you rather than move to New York with me. I wanted you to know, I would go on with whatever Beau chooses with his life. The thing is, I don't want Beau to become a burden to you. You have been through a lot, India told me Captain Butler is not back yet, and I started to make a speculation.

That brings me to my second point. Scarlett, You must have remembered when I said that you bite your teeth on my heart. I didn't lie. I loved Melanie, but both Uncle Henry and India have convinced me that a marriage between us would do a world of good. If what I wrote is out of line, I beg your forgiveness. No one has told me about Captain Butler, so I act based on my assumption.

Scarlett, with this letter, I humbly ask you to be my wife. I have no money to offer but I promised you to be the perfect gentleman. We could raise our kids together and be the perfect family you have always wanted. With the money from the mills, we could build Twelve Oaks together and you would be the mistress of a plantation, just like how it was supposed to be if the war never happened.

But of course, it was your decision to make. I know you love Captain Butler, and you know how bad Melanie's death broke me. But Captain Butler is nowhere to be found, and Melly has found her peace. We have always been the best of friends and marriage between us is always expected.

I will be forever waiting for your answer.

With Love,

Ashley Wilkes

Rhett puts the letter back where Scarlett hides it. His chest hurt the way it always is when it comes to Scarlett. His love has worn out, and he has let go of Scarlett, but the thought Scarlett being in the arms of another man. Ashley Wilkes of all people makes his head spin. Perhaps Ashley was right, he and Scarlett were always meant to be. Rhett was the one between them. But Ashley doesn't know Scarlett the way Rhett does.

All the more reason Rhett hated his situation, because he no longer knew this Scarlett. She has grown into a fine lady, better than Rhett could ever expect. Ashley would know more what to do with a lady than Rhett could ever be. He should just give up.

He has nothing to offer.

Even his money is no longer appealing to Scarlett. It was quite apparent after all the tragedy that happened in their life, both Rhett and Scarlett just wanted some peace. But they can't find it together, so Rhett left while Scarlett stayed and built her life.

He was not there when Scarlett crawled on every fat old cat of Atlanta. He left, knowing he has nothing more to do with his life. There were days he just wanted it to be over, but she had always haunted him.

That was why he, against his better judgment, take a train to Atlanta. To see his beautiful wife, who has bloom even better than she did in her sixteen when they first meet. He should have known he is not worthy of her. But that never stopped him before.

"Rhett?" She calls.

"Yes, my pet?"

"I thought you're already gone."

Scarlett sits back on her chair, her hand grabs the pencil and start doing her book. Rhett knew she was too busy, her undereye is black, and her body looks tired. It must have been hard to take care of children, social calls, and business at the same time. That was the reason why she did her book in the middle of the night because her day is full.

"So Beau will stay with you forever?" He asks, couldn't help to stop his malicious tone, "How perfect it is for your perfect gentleman."

"It's not forever, he will be off to college in a few years and started his own family."

"Just like you and Ashley."

"Excuse me?"

"Building a family, just like you and Ashley." He elaborates.

"The last time I check, my last name is still Butler, and I have no intention of changing it, thank you very much." She snaps, "What is the matter with you, you have never had a problem with Beau before!"

"It starts became a problem when Ashley Wilkes's son live under my roof and eat with my money." His voice grew colder.

"I could just move to Aunt Pitty if Beau being here is a problem with you." Scarlett shouts, what is wrong with Rhett Butler to always bring the worst in her.

"Ruffle your feather, I have no intention of taking this monstrosity away from you, even when we're divorced. You can keep it."

"But I don't want a divorce!"

"I see. I shall wait until my dying day." He chuckles, "Back to the matter at hand, how was it after Miss Melly's funeral?"

Scarlett looks at him as if his face has gone green. Even he feels so stupid to pick up a fight with her. He was the one who wanted a divorce for their own good. He deserves some peace after all the pain he had to endure for loving her, and Scarlett deserves a man who would take care of her. Ashley Wilkes may not be the best man he could think of, but clearly it will solve some of Scarlett's problems.

"That was pretty much all, India dragged me everywhere. At first, Maybelle called and then Mrs. Meade, after that everything just happened. The sewing circle and charity event, I mean."

"Maybelle and Mrs. Meade?"

"I suppose they think I deserved some chance after what happened with Bonnie. They lost a child too, you see."

"So you use the tragedy of losing Bonnie to regain your reputation?" He mocks.

"How dare you?" She shots.

"It was all so you could have Ashley Wilkes under your palms. My, Scarlett I always knew you are cold I never knew you could do-"

He could never finish the sentence. The room was filled with a piercing sound of a slap instead. Scarlett's face was red with anger and her eyes were heavy with tears. He could remember seeing her like this when Melanie died.

"How could you say such things?" She shouts, "You! Of all people, should have known how it was to lose her!"

"Of course I do, I can't say the same about you." He shots back, with a tone even flatter than usual.

"I miss her it makes me hard to breathe some times! Using her? God's Nightgown, I would very much prefer being the social pariah for the rest of my life if I could have one more day with her."

Rhett stops, he knew he has crossed a line. Scarlett loves all her children in a different way, it doesn't make her any less selfish, but he knew how much Bonnie's death broke her. He shouldn't have said such things.

"I would give anything I have to have one more hour with her! To tell her I love her! Why can't they just take me instead of her? How could you say that to me!"

"Scarlett." He shakes his body, trying to stop her. She was always so strong it is hard to see her in her break, every tears that get out of her eyes turn his blood cold. He had made a vow to make her happy, but all he could give her was agony.

"Why can't I hate you? Any man would be better than you, but all I can think about is you!"

"Of course, Ashley Wilkes would be better than me."

"Ashley?" She looks up, confusion all over her teary green eyes.

"I read your letter. You needn't bother. I will take care of the divorce, and the house will be yours. You don't have to move to Aunt Pitty."

Scarlett runs out of the room and Rhett is too tired to catch her. He has watched her gone out of his grasp too many times. He is too tired to follow her, and instead he closes his eyes, waiting until he could feel better. She is running all over the house. He could hear her steps getting further for quite sometimes before the sound is gone.

That was only for a while until her steps is growing closer, and he opens his eye with anticipation. His best expectation was a knife. She must have wanted to kill her. He had wanted to kill her just to stop the agony he has been feeling for 12 years. But it was not a knife, or a gun, or anything to kill him. It was a piece of paper.

"You should read this before making speculation about me." And then she left without bothering about the books that left a mess on the table.

Dear Ashley,

I'm so glad to hear you getting better. We're all worried about you. Beau could never be a burden to me. Like I have always told him, he was the son of a sister I love more than world. I would love to raise him here in Atlanta with Aunt Pitty and Uncle Henry.

I don't know where to begin considering your offer. The first time I read it, my brain shouts at me to just grab some clothes and take a train to New York. Rhett has left me and I have three children to consider. Atlanta will be buzzing, but they will understand that I did this for Beau and Melanie. And the thought that I could be the mistress of Twelve Oaks sounds so appealing to me.

But my heart stops me from doing anything stupid, no matter how good our life could be. Being your wife and the mistress of Twelve Oaks was my childhood dream, but I have grown up. I know who I am and it was not that person.

I love Rhett.

He has left me and if I need to keep on hoping for him to be back in the house, I shall keep hoping until I no longer have any breath left in me. He is the love of my life, the only one who think the way I do and love the way I do. He is my match.

I have hurt him and I will forever feel guilty for what I did. Waiting for him without any certainty when will he be back, seems like a good enough punishment. Because I deserved to be punished for being so blind and selfish. Call me a fool if you please, but waiting for him as his wife sounds better than having no attachment to him.

My love for you, as late as I realized it, was more like a sister loves her brother. You were the constant person, the only one from my life before the war that still exists.

If Rhett Butler's charm ever wore off, I would very much prefer to marry someone I love. God knows I have married three men for the wrong reasons. Knowing me, I suppose I will take care of the children on my own and mooning over him for the rest of my life.

That's okay. Because I love him. Very much, I wanted to take my life away.

I can't marry you under false pretense that I could love you one day. You see, Ashley, my love is not mine to give to anyone. It was his and I have no idea how to take it back.

I hope you are well and find someone who would make you happy. You shouldn't be worried about Beau. Whatever it is the two of you choose, my house will always be open for him.

With love,

Katie Scarlett Butler

Rhett sighs in frustration, he was so used with her love for Ashley. Reading this sounds like a lie to him. He has told her that he loved her more than he ever loved any woman, but that was a lie. Because the truth is he loves her to the point of exasperation more than he could ever love himself.

That was why he needs to let her go. Because he is a broken man who no longer has anything to offer for her. She is a woman who is bigger than the world and he is a man who can't even pick the broken pieces of his heart.

The last time he left, it was all for him. He wanted to find peace and grace but he knew he could never find it. It was never his. He has lived in dirt for so long he could barely understand what he is looking for. Scarlett is different, she survived all of it and she deserved to be with someone who could find peace too.

This time he left for her. To give her the happiness she wanted and deserved. He could not give her that. He is too tired to work for it. After this, his mother's home would be opened for him, and he will find something to occupy himself until it was time for him to leave earth. To finally be free of the love of his life. Even though he doubts death could make her stop loving her.

Tearing a piece of paper from her book, he starts to write. No matter how much he wanted to take one more glance at her lovely face, he knew he can't. Because it will stop him. Whatever it is he wanted to tell her will serves better as a note.

Don't send the letter.

You should take the first train to New York tomorrow.

I'm not the right man for you.

Don't waste any more years of your life for a man who is not worthy of you.

Tears coming down his cheek. Dear God, how bad it hurts to finally let her go. He craves for her for too long, he no longer knew what kind of a man he would be without her. She is in his blood, poisoning him with no cure to take.

He could take the first train to Charleston tomorrow, tonight he could stay at Belle's until the sun came up, and it was time for him to leave the city. The place where he loves his southern Belle who would no longer be his.

"Goodbye, my love." He whispers as he closed his door, knowing he could not say it to her.

The house he built for her would be enough as a witness that Rhett Butler has fallen. He has no more fight left in him.

Scarlett kneels beside Bonnie's grave, caressing the tombstone as tears going down her cheeks. It has been a week since Rhett left and she is worried, he didn't take his things with him. She sent a letter to his mother in Charleston only to find out that Rhett is not in her house.

"Do you know where your daddy is? He could be really confusing sometimes. He must be well, I know he is. Oh, Bonnie, if only you're here. He misses you very much, that is why he left. I miss you too. I will make things right with your daddy. You would like that, don't you precious?"

She rolls her palm into a fist to stop herself from screaming. How she wished to tell people what a bastard Rhett Butler is. She wished she didn't understand the pain he is going through, that way she could just hate him. But she does.

"Scarlett."

She looked up, wishing it was him, but it wasn't. The voice was too soft to be his. Mrs. Meade kneels beside her and wraps Scarlett's shoulder with her own hand. Scarlett let out a sob. It was good to have someone who understands how she feels.

"Some days will be better." She whispers.

That was one of the first things Mrs. Meade said to her after Melanie died. The pain will not go away. She will look at the door wishing her Bonnie would come back only to be disappointed. But some days will be better and she won't feel so much pain anymore.

Mrs. Meade accompanies her until she gets into the house. With every will power she has, she rubs her eyes to get all the tears left her face and put a smile for the children. Ella runs to her skirt, so she bent down and give her a kiss on her forehead.

"Mammy said the lunch is ready, mama!"

"Well, you should wait because mama needs to change. Would you be an angel and wait for me?" Ella nods and runs to the dining room, followed by Beau. Wade gave her a kiss and followed her two siblings to the dining room.

Scarlett sighs, this is what keeps her going. Her children. If it was for her, she wanted to stay in her room and never go out when she read the note he left.

She knew she should be taking a train to New York, it will do a world of good for her children and Beau. But it is not what she wants so she keeps putting it off to tomorrow even when she knows here is no chance Rhett Butler will be back to her. It takes a lot of convincing to herself until she decides to start giving New York a chance if Rhett ever sent her a divorce letter.

Some nights she stayed at the parlor even after midnight, wishing him to come back only to be awoken at dawn by Mammy. Her body is exhausted but sleep is not coming to her for seven days. She is too worried about him. This reminded her when he left three days after that fateful night.

Tonight is not different, Wade went to bed a few hours ago, but she can't find any strength to move from the chair she sat. Her heart grew heavier as the day gone by, wishing for Rhett to takes a seat beside her like he did so many times a week ago.

Her parlor is still overdone, she knew it makes most of the old guard frown every time they step into it. She has stopped herself from redecorating so many times, waiting for Rhett to help her. This time, the house should be decorated by the two of them. But he just left, once more.

She drags her feet to the stairs, knowing it will do no one any good if she is sick. Her heart can't choose who to love, but her head still functions normally and she knew too many people needs her. And she can't give up just yet. Not until she knew her children will make it. If, until that time, she still couldn't find her happiness, perhaps she could go back to Tara and spend the rest of her day being buried with good memories.

It was faint but she could hear some noise from the dining room. Her first instinct was to run to her room and stay there. Instead, she takes one of the vase near her and takes slow steps into the dining room.

There was some shadow around the table, whatever is he doing in her dining room. If anyone wanted to steal from her, her room would suffice much better than here. He is taking a step closer to her, and for a split second, she couldn't feel her heartbeat.

"Who are you?" She shouts, throwing the vase to the thief's head.

"Ouch! I know you hate me, but this is too much!"

"Rhett?" She runs to the closest light and light it. Rhett holds his bleeding forehead, quite badly from what she sees. His face was a mixture of amusement and annoyed.

He sits on one of the chairs, she could see some liquor on the table. Scarlett has stopped keeping spirits in her house, so it must be his. The vase is cracked but more because it has hit the floor instead of Rhett's head. His bleeding must be because of the sharp edge it has.

"Some water and bandage would be nice." He said sarcastically.

Scarlett takes a napkin from near to her so Rhett could hold it and stops the bleeding, "You don't need the bandage, it will heal in no time."

"Oh, you heartless creature."

"Why are you here?"

"Belle kick me out, there is no train this time of the night, and I still have a house in this city."

"You could just go to The National." She suggests

"Are you kicking me out?"

"I'm just saying." Scarlett takes a seat near him and watches as he struggles with the blood. "This one will leave a bruise in the morning, I will bring you some ice."

Scarlett leaves him once again to be occupied by his own thought. He wanted to laugh when Scarlett threw a vase on him, no matter how much it makes his forehead aches. That reminded him of the very first day he lay his eyes on her. His match.

When she brought some ice for him, he let her put it on his forehead so she could stay near. She stands between his thigh so he could feel her every time her chest rises up and down. It was pure torture to see her so close and yet so far away because he has decided to let her go.

"I'm here because I have nowhere else to go."

"Excuse me?"

"You asked, why am I her. I'm here because I have nowhere else to go."

"That's not true. You have Belle's and your mother's."

"Belle kicked me out, and Charleston was never mine."

"Why would she kick you out?" Scarlett asks, Belle's place has always become Rhett's runaway place. She could bet some money that Rhett own it. There was some talking during the war that Belle was his mistress, and her brothel was Rhett's.

"Because she knew I'm an idiot."

"Why?"

"I'm running away from the only person I love." He answers so soft Scarlett could hardly catch the words.

"Are you drunk?" Because there is no way Rhett would just lay every card on the table for her. He always keeps something from her. That was why even after six years of marriage, the only time she knew he loved her was when Melanie died.

"Believe me, this is my first time sober since I left last week."

"Why?"

"Because letting you go is a pure torture, Scarlett. I can't."

Her heart beats so fast it makes her uncomfortable. His answers give her even more hope, and she would die before letting this chance just go away. She threw the ice as her arms crawl all over his shoulder.

"Then don't." She whispers into his ear.

"Dear, don't hold me like this. I need to let you go, you deserve someone better than me."

He holds her hand so tenderly, realizing that tears were all over her cheeks. It was never easy to leave, but he should have known coming back to the house would be too much for him. Seeing her with teary eyes begging for him to stay.

"But I want you, Rhett. Dear God, I want you so much it makes my head spin."

"Ssh. My pet, you are a lady now. Like you have always wanted to be. A lady should be married to a gentleman, not a scoundrel like me."

"That was the worst excuse I have ever heard!" She exclaims.

Rhett chuckle, it was indeed the worst excuse he has ever made. Even Ella would not settle for such an excuse. But it was the truth, she deserves someone worthy of her, someone who could offer her the world.

"I know. Come on, let me go. I will tuck you to bed and the next morning will be better."

"No! No, Rhett, please!" She cups his face so they could see each other eye to eye, "The only thing that keeps me going every day, knowing everyone I love is gone is because I hope you would return to me someday. I can't keep going on without it. Please don't take it away from me!"

"I'm sorry, Scarlett. You deserve someone who could offer everything your heart desires and I can't." He kisses her tears tenderly, showing how much he still cares about her, "I can't give you anything, darling. I can't even give you myself because I'm too broken. You would do better, my sweet. You always thrive."

"That was a lie! I can't do without you, I'm not who I am without you." She sobs.

"I know, sometimes we just met someone so we could grow, not to spend the rest of our life together with that person." He whispers. "Darling, it's time for me to let you go. I could only be a burden to you."

She holds his neck even tighter, her thighs spread over his hip, making sure he can't go anywhere. That won't work. Had Rhett wanted her to leave, he could easily throw her off. The fact that he is still whispering sweet nothings to me makes her sure he is not going to leave.

"You will not be a burden to me. Why, you are Rhett Butler! You are lying to me! You don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave. Why do we have to make it harder! We could be happy, Rhett. Just give us one more try!"

"I can't, Scarlett. My heart is shattered and I don't want you to waste the rest of your life picking up the pieces."

"But I'm broken too." She whispers, "We all are. You give me hope to keep going, without you I'm nothing."

"Scarlett." He murmurs.

"I don't have any expectation how our life together is going to be, Rhett. We are damaged beyond repair, but we are Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, we always find a way to survive."

"Darling, please."

"NO! I don't please! Not this time! You told me not to waste any more of my time for a man who is not worthy of me, so please help me! We will survive, but we can't get through this whole agony on our own. We were always a pair! During the war, after the war, every time!"

"I don't know, Scarlett. I honestly have no idea what I will do after this."

That was when he broke, tears going all over his cheeks, he could barely control his sob. It was like going through Bonnie's death all over again. He is so confused, and he has never been confused, not even when his father kicked him out. This time he has no where he wanted to be. He just wanted to stay here, feeling her warmth all over his body. But he knows how selfish it was.

"Neither do I." Scarlett whispers to his ear, "We could always find out together, Rhett."

He nods, relenting to her demand. He is too weak to fight against her. Even more, he never wanted to fight. The only thing he wanted was to stay with her and spend the rest of his time with her until his dying day.

"I love you, Rhett." She whispers, realizing Rhett would not saying it back she shots, "Tell me how you feel or we are not going anywhere."

"Tell what?"

"The thing you always wanted to say but too scared to let it out of your mouth."

"I love you."

"That's more like it. I'm sleepy." She yawns.

Rhett chuckles, his voice is still hoarse after so his cry, but he managed to let out a loud one. His hand crawls under her knee and neck so he could easily pick her up. He bent a little so he could plant some kisses on her forehead.

"Wait here." He whispers once she settled on her bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to go to my room and change."

"You don't have to, I have some of your clothes here." She points at her own dressing room.

It was odd, Rhett cocks his eyebrow but Scarlett just shrugs with a red face. He could always ask her later. Right now, he wanted to change and get rid of the smell. His shirt smells so bad he even wonders how come Scarlett could stay near him for so long.

"How come you have my things here?" He asks as he climbs the giant bed.

"I told you I have had hope."

Rhett smiles at her answer, his eyes focused on the ceiling. There are some voices inside his head telling him to wait until she fell asleep and left. Because he knew she deserved better. This is no longer his place.

"Rhett." She calls, "Don't just tuck me in and leave. I wanted you here forever."

"I won't." He whispers.

Scarlett takes his hand onto her chest and pulls him closer, "Just in case, I won't let your hand go."

Her eyes feel even heavier, and finally she gives up to sleep as his smells gone all over her body. For the first time in a very long time, she feels comfortable. There was a smile on her face as she grew deeper into slumber, knowing she would not have any nightmare tonight.

[A/N] I always thought Rhett will not be able to leave Scarlett, but he is just too tired. That is why I make a better version of Scarlett in this story. He needs to see that Scarlett will not wore him out like she did the last time. I wanted to make some difference between the way Scarlett talk to Rhett and how she talks to other. That should show him that after all this time he is still the only person she could be herself with. Anyway, what do you think of this story?