Author's Notes
Alright, well I really cranked out this chapter. I hope you guys like it :) This is certainly a first for me. Two chapters posted in one day! Enjoy.
Please feel free to leave feedback/comments or some words about Naya. Part of the reason I started writing again was to reconnect with this fandom because no one in my life really understands that I am grieving so I just mourn her in silence. I hope you are all well.
- J.
Santana sat slumped down in her first-class chair by the window. Kurt was next to her in the aisle seat, Sebastian and Artie were seated just across the aisle. She had no idea where Dani and Grayson were sitting. She knew they were on the plane and also in first class, so they couldn't be very far away. But as she was actively avoiding any further contact with Dani she didn't care to find out. She sat wondering what she could have possibly done in a past life to deserve the kind of luck she has when it comes to Dani. Was she a serial killer? Did she commit sin after sin without repenting; is that why she was meant to suffer through Dani's presence on this trip?
They were about 2 hours into their flight at this point. She had just finished thumbing through the latest issues of Rolling Stone, Latina Magazine and Cosmopolitan and she was ready to get some shut eye. She reached down into her carry-on in search of her sleeping pills. She dug around in the bag for a minute or two but to no avail. She must've forgotten to pack her Ambien. What a total bummer. Her mind was racing, and she needed to shut of her thoughts and get some sleep. She nudged Kurt, who was nose deep in one of the Harry Potter novels. "Porcelain!" she said in a hurried whisper.
He looked her way, "What?" he said slightly annoyed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting a spell making class at Hogwarts?" She teased.
He gently closed his book, but not before placing his bookmark between the pages. "May I help you with something my dear?" he said semi sarcastically.
"Do you have anything I can take to knock myself out for this flight?" she asked. "My mind is out of control right now, and I just want to not think about anything for a few hours. I'm hoping sleep will do the trick. But, alas, I forget my sleep aids." She said with a pouty face.
He smiled sympathetically,"I think I may have some melatonin in my bag. That'll put you to sleep fairly quickly but it doesn't 'knock you out' or really keep you asleep."
"You don't have anything stronger? No Ambien or anything like that?" She could kick herself for forgetting her Ambien. She pretty much always kept a bottle in her carry-on luggage for international flights.
"I'm afraid not." He said as he rose to his feet to fetch his bag from the overhead compartment. He rifled through the contents of his carry on for a few seconds when Santana heard the pills in the bottle rattle around. "Got it." Kurt said triumphantly as he tossed the bottle to Santana. "Take two of those now and you'll be out like a light in less than 20 minutes."
"Thanks, Lady H. You're a life saver." She popped two pills into her mouth and took a swig of water to wash them down.
"Anytime." He thought for a moment, "Hey, Santana?"
She looked to him and waited for him to continue with his thought.
"Before you go all Princess Aurora on me, maybe we should talk about the 5 foot 2 inch elephant on the plane." He said with sympathetic eyes.
Santana grumbled, "I don't really feel like talking right now, actually. Especially not about Dani."
Kurt sympathized, "I get it. I really do. But we should probably talk about what these next two weeks are going to be like. With both of you in the recording studio. Together."
"Oh, we will NOT be in the studio together." Santana insisted, "No way in hell. So, you need to make sure your new boy toy and Daddy Warbucks understand that."
Kurt huffed, "Santana. She is going to be at the studio. You are going to be at the studio. You're going to cross paths. I will do everything in my power to minimalize your contact with her, I promise you that. But there are going to be times when we are all together. Rubbing elbows with the record execs, producers, writers… all the important people at this branch of the label. And I think you should be prepared. Maybe we should talk about… I don't know a safe word or something."
Santana's eyes widened, "A safe word? You can't be serious!" she laughed. "Are you actually reading Harry Potter or is that actually 50 Shades of Grey incognito glued into the spine of Harry Potter?" she wondered motioning to the book.
Kurt clasped the book up to his chest, "It is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, thank you very much!" he informed her with his eyes wide.
She couldn't stop laughing, "Yeah, I bet that Chamber of yours is chock full of secrets, Lady Lips. Sexy secrets."
"Santana, quit it. I'm trying to be serious here," he insists shrugging off her attempt to make light of the situation. "If things get to be too much for you, just say the word and I'll take care of it. Ok?"
Santana rolls her eyes playfully, "Yes, alright. Ok, Betty Who. Our safe word can be ball gag."
"First of all, that's two words and second of all you're annoying and incapable of being serious." He responds annoyed.
Santana just laughs to herself and mumbles "Ball gag. I kill myself," under her breath.
"I heard that!" Kurt retorts.
"I was hoping you would," Santana says with a smile as she pulls a sleep mask over her eyes and snuggles into her pillow that she has placed against the closed window. "Safe word. Hilarious" she says in a mumbled tone.
"Ugh, I don't know why I put up with you." She opens his book back up in a huff.
"It's because you love me," she says with a yawn. "And how could you not?"
"I do love you," Kurt says then adds, under his breath, "against all my better judgement." He rolls his eyes playfully.
Santana hears him but is getting too sleepy to keep the banter going. She just smiles in response. Kurt sees this out of the corner of his eye, and he responds with a smile of his own and whispers, "Get some rest Santana."
"Mhmm," Santana manages to moan out as she drifts off to dreamland. "Night night, Lady humm—"
Back in LA
It's a particularly cool evening for an October night in LA. Brittany is sitting on her balcony enjoying a glass of wine when Sugar, Mike and Tina step out to join her. A cool gentle breeze blows which sends a shiver through Sugar.
"Good grief since when is it this cold ever in LA?" Sugar complains.
Mike laughs, "It's almost November. Fall is settling in Sugs."
"Well, I don't like it. I'm not ready for fall."
"Since when!? You love the fall!" Tina interjects.
"Since I'm not ready for summer to end. I didn't get to beach it up quite as often as I would've liked this year. And that makes me sad. Sad like a little kid that just got his ice cream cone from the ice cream truck and is about to take his first lick but before he can a bird poops on it!"
Mike and Tina burst out in laughter, "That is so not where I thought you were going with that at all!" Tina says still laughing.
"Me either," Mike says shaking his head.
It's in that moment they all realize Brittany has been uncharacteristically quiet for a majority of the night.
"Brits, whatcha thinkin' bout?" Sugar asks, noticing the far out look in Brittany's eyes.
Brittany shakes her head as if she is shaking away whatever has her thoughts preoccupied. She forces a smile, "Nothing important."
Tina prods, "Come on, Brit. At least tell us if it is good thoughts or bad thoughts that have taken you hostage from us."
Brittany smiles but it fades quickly, "Well, I'm actually sure anymore," she says with a soft chuckle. She continues, "I haven't told you guy yet…" she says but then hesitates.
"BRITS, out with it!" Sugar pleads.
"Is this about why you haven't been at the studio for the last two days?" Mike asks.
"And why you ignored all of my texts for the last two days." Tina adds.
"Hey, I answered your text tonight, didn't I?" Brittany says matter-of-factly.
"Brittany, out with it. What's going on?" Sugar pleads.
A smile spread across Brittany's lips so quickly she can't force it away. "I just spent the last two days with Santana at her secret place in Malibu."
Sugar claps her hands enthusiastically, "Yay, yay, yay! I knew it! You two lady-boned, didn't you?"
Brittany feels her face start to blush. She tried to play it cool and not show her excitement. She finds herself wondering how Santana would react if she was in this position with her own friends inquiring about her and Brittany and that makes her smile even more. She puts her hands over her face to try to hide her reaction, but the words burst out of her mouth before she can take them back "Yes, yes we did! Soooooooo many times!"
Sugar and Tina squeal.
"It was amazing. Ah-may-zing." She says as she thinks back to how it felt to have Santana's hands on her skin, Santana's lips on hers, Santana's tongue in her mouth, Santana's… on her… and she begins to blush even more. "Her skin is so soft, and she smells so so so good. And when she puts her hands on me, I just melt. I absolutely melt." Her grin is so wide she couldn't stop smiling if she wanted to.
"Is she a good kisser?" Sugar asks with a huge grin and inquisitive eyes.
Brittany's eyes light up and her smile grows, "Her kisses would make your panties drop, Sugar," Brittany teases.
Sugar squeals in excitement again, "Oh, Brits you lucky, lucky dog! I love a good panty-dropping kiss."
"Who doesn't!?" Tina adds with a laugh.
"Is her place on the beach?" Mike asks.
The girls all look at him with I-can't-believe-that's-what-you-want-to-ask faces.
"What?" Mike says confused.
They ignore him and Tina pleads, "Tell us everything, Brit."
"Well, when we were leaving the studio the other night, I thought we were going to just say goodbye and go our separate ways for the night but she invited me asked me if I had plans the next day. When I told her I didn't she asked if I wanted to go somewhere with her and of course I did!"
"Duh!" Sugar jokes.
Brittany continues, "Anyway, we drive to her place in Malibu, which was a surprise to me. I had no idea she had a place there. And come to think of it I think I was supposed to keep that between us so don't say anything—"
Tina, Mike and Sugar all do the "cross my heart" motion to signify that they will keep this secret between the four of them.
"—The place was so so so gorgeous, you guys. Floor to ceiling windows with views of the beach and ocean in every room of the house. And we went outside to the hot tub with some champagne, after she let me borrow one of her bikinis—"
"I love jacuzzi time," Sugar says looking at Tina who nods in agreement.
"I love champagne time," Tina added to which Sugar agreed.
"—And while we were in the hot tub we talked and caught up about the last few weeks and what we had done since we saw each other last. Then as the champagne kept flowing, we started getting a little flirtier, a little more handsy. We played a bit of never have I ever and she wound up getting pretty drunk and I was sober because she—"
"Wasn't asking you the right questions," Mike, Tina and Sugar all say in unison.
"Right, exactly! So, we start making out and then she says we should slow down cos things are getting a bit intense. But then when we go inside, and go into the bedroom things only get more intense and one thing leads to another and then—"
"You guys did the nastaaaaayy" Sugar said with a laugh.
"Oh, we sure did but it was far from nasty," Brittany smiles, "It was beautiful." Brittany blushes at the thought. Brittany adds, "Guys, she's just so great. When I'm with her, I feel safe and happy in a way I have never felt before," she continues, "she makes me feel like Darla makes Alfalfa feel."
"Wow, and those Little Rascals sure do love eachother." Sugar says with a smile.
Mike smiles, "Brit, I don't know if I have ever seen you blush like this," he says with a slight chuckle.
"I don't know if I have ever felt this way before." The words are just pouring out of her. It's like her thoughts manifest themselves into words before she even realizes what she is thinking. "I think I may actually be falling for her."
Tina and Sugar squeal, yet again, with excitement.
"Well, what's the catch then?" Mike asks curiously.
"The catch?" Brittany wonders.
"Yeah, you said you weren't sure if the thoughts were good or bad thoughts before." Tina adds.
"But so far all you've told us is the good stuff." Sugar interjects. "So, what's got you confused?" She thinks for a second, "Is she ghosting you now? Did she 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' you and kick you to the curb or something? Cos if that is the case, I'll—"
Mike laughs, "You'll what, Sugs?"
"Well, I just don't know exactly what I'll do yet. But I'll think of something uber awful and I'll do it to her." She says sternly.
"Guys, no, it's nothing like that. She wouldn't do that." Brittany interrupts.
"So, what is it then?" Tina asks curiously.
Brittany leans over and grabs her phone from the table in front of her. "We had been texting pretty much the entire time we've been apart today. Even when she first got to the airport. She told me she had to go cos her friends were there. But I wasn't really ready to say goodbye yet. I wanted to say something sweet to her before her flight. So, I sent her these texts. She leans over and hands her phone to Mike. Sugar and Tina crouch closer to him so they can also take a look at the texts.
"Guys, back up. You're crowding me," Sugar says as she snatches the phone from Mike's grasp. "Lemme read these lil diddies." Sugar begins reading the texts out loud.
Oh shoot! I think I left something at your place! - Brittany
Oh no, what is it? Is it important? - Santana
Ugh, I'm so sorry. But yeah it's pretty important. – Brittany
I will have Quinn go to the house to get what you left. What is it again? I need to tell her what to look for. Do you have any idea where you left it? – Santana
My heart. - Brittany
But come to think of it I'm pretty sure you actually took it with you when you left so I'll just have to get it from you when you come back. 3 – Brittany
"Aw, Brits. That was adorable!" Sugar. "Who knew you were such a little sappy wappy." She teased as she pinched one of Brittany's cheeks.
"Wait, though, she never responded?" Tina asked.
Brittany just shook her head.
"And this was 3 hours ago?" Sugar asked.
Brittany nodded.
"Well, that could just mean she boarded her flight and turned her phone off." Mike offered.
"Yeah, absolutely, but I sent the text an hour before she was even supposed to board."
They all sat there quiet for a moment thinking about what to say. Each friend tried to find a good reason why Santana didn't respond to the text.
Brittany broke the silence. "I think I scared her off you guys." She let out a huge sigh of frustration, bowed her head down and placed it in her hands. "Ughhhhh, I'm such an idiot!"
"Hey come on, I'm sure that's not true." Tina offered as she gently rubbed Brittany's back. "From what I know, from what Sugar has told me, from what you have told me and from what I have seen with my very own eyes, Santana is into you. Santana Lopez. THE Santana Lopez. She's into you. You need to remember that.""
That cheered Brittany up for a moment but then Sugar added, "Unless…"
"Unless, what?" Brittany asked with a look of worry in her eyes.
"Well, I mean, Tina has a point. This is Santana Lopez. What if maybe she did wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am you?" Sugar said with a bit of sympathy in her tone. "Maybe the whole, 'I wanna take things slow spiel was just that a spiel to get you in her bed."
"Oh my god. Maybe you are right." Brittany started to doubt herself. "Do you guys think she used me?" A look of worry swept across Brittany's face.
"Sugs may have a point." Mike agreed.
Tina looked at all of them in disbelief. "You two have no idea what you are talking about," she said to Sugar and Mike while shooting them looks of disbelief. She turned her attention to Brittany, "No offense, Brit, but used you for what?" Tina continued. "She's a world-famous celebrity that could sleep with just about anyone anyone she wanted. Why would she need to play games? She likes you. I'm sure of it. These idiots don't know what they are talking about. Please don't listen to this nonsense. I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation as to why this text went unanswered."
"For 3 plus hours?" Brittany questioned.
"Maybe her phone died?" Tina offered. "Or maybe she fell asleep on the plane. Or maybe something came up and she got distracted and then her phone died. Or maybe she is busy talking shop with her producers and manager. Or maybe a song came to her and she had to get it down before she forgot. Or maybe—"
"Or maybe I scared her off. She did say she wanted to take things slow." Brittany said in a sad and almost defeated tone.
"Brit, it sounds to me like you guys bulldozed past taking things slow." Tina said.
Brittany sighed, "Yeah, and maybe that is the problem. Maybe that freaked her out. I mean, me sending that text loaded with feelings." Santana had been the one to initiate the intimacy. Was it intimacy? Brittany wondered. Or was it just sex? No way. It wasn't just sex Brittany knew it was more than that for Santana just as it was for herself.
"When we were about to take things to the next level… physically… Santana said she was ready for the physical aspect of things. She wanted to move to the next step for us. But she said she wasn't ready to put a label on anything or to be anyone's girlfriend. Maybe, my message was just too much? Maybe I crossed a line I didn't even realize was there?" she thought for a moment, "Ugh, I hate this!" Brittany frowned.
"Aw, honey, do you need more wine?" Sugar asked without waiting for an answer, "I'm gonna go get you some more wine." She grabbed Brittany's glass and headed back inside.
Mike looked down at his watch. "Oh shit, I almost forgot I was supposed to pick up our take out," he said as he jumped up out of his seat. "I'll be right back," he said to the two girls that remained. "Sugs, wanna go for a ride?" he called out as he entered the house.
Brittany and Tina heard Sugar faintly say, "Sure, I'd love to Ching Chang" and with that they were gone.
Tina took this opportunity to try to have a serious conversation with Brittany. She started, "Brit, are you alright?"
Brittany let out a sigh and thought for a moment before answering, "I don't know, Tina." She adjusted a bit in her seat and looked out at the skyline while she continued, "If you would've asked me that 4 hours ago, I wouldn't have hesitated to answer that I am great. But now, I'm just so worried that I screwed things up."
Tina stood and moved closer to Brittany, pulling her chair so that the arm was touching Brittany's chair. She sat down, "Do you trust me?" She said is a soothing tone.
"I do. I trust you almost as I trusted Lord Tubbington," Brittany said calmly while exhaling deeply.
Tina smiled at the thought of just how much that meant Brittany trusted her. "I know that this is something that can be explained easily. I just do. And I know your mind is going to a million different places of how you just completely ruined the best thing that has ever happened to you, but I am telling you, that isn't what happened here. Santana is into you. She's really, really into you. I know it, you know it, hell, anyone that spends more than 30 seconds with the two of you together knows it. Please, don't listen to that little voice inside your head that is making you doubt yourself; that's making you doubt Santana. You know there is something special between you guys. You just spent an 'ah-may-zing' two days together." Tina smiled and put her arm around Brittany's shoulders to pull her in for a hug.
Brittany couldn't help but beam from ear to ear just thinking about her time with Santana. Tina had to be right. There had to be a good explanation as to why that text went unanswered. Santana would text her when she could. She would explain herself and everything would be fine. "Thanks, Tina." She leaned further into the embrace and put her head on Tina's shoulder.
"I get it, B. I really do. You're over thinking all of this because you're already falling for her and it scares you."
"It really does. I'm terrified, T. She's a celebrity. I mean she is Santana freaking Lopez! And what am I? Who am I?" Brittany sounded defeated again.
"Hey, cut that out. You may not be world-famous…yet," she smiled with a little laugh and continued, "but you are Brittany S. Pierce the best damn dancer I have ever met and the most loving, kind and loyal friend I have ever been lucky enough to have."
Tina was right. Brittany was a fabulous dancer and one hell of a friend. And she knew deep down inside that what she has found with Santana is real and it's big. But she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't going to like the reason why Santana didn't return her text.
As Santana started to wake, 4 hours later, she was extremely groggy. She wondered to herself why she was waking up if she was still tired? The damn Melatonin! She thought to herself. It was a poor substitute for her Ambien; which she was going to have to try to get her hands on while she was in the UK. There was no way she was going to survive another flight home without it. Kurt was right, it certainly puts you to sleep but it does nothing to ensure you stay there. Truthfully, she didn't know how she'd survive the next two weeks with Dani in such close proximity. The only way things could be more bearable is if Brittany were there with her. "Shit, Brittany!" She exclaimed throwing her sleep mask off of her eyes. She just realized she was in the middle of texting her about whatever she had left at her place when the she devil accosted her.
She startled Kurt awake, "Jesus, what!?" he said with his eyes barely opened. "Are you ok? What happened?"
"Shit, I'm sorry Lady H, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you," she said in a whisper as she dug around in her bag for her phone. She finally got a hand on it and pulled it out. "Fuck me!"
"Santana!" Kurt yelled in a whisper.
"Fuck, I'm sorry. My phone is dead and I packed my charger in my checked luggage. Would you mind—"
Kurt grumbled. He knew what she was getting to and he wasn't happy about it. But he also knew she wouldn't stop bothering him if he didn't dig his charger out of his carry-on and give it to her. He stood and grabbed his bag out of the overhead compartment, he pulled the charger out and tossed it to Santana.
"Thank you, Kurt." She said with a genuine smile which Kurt didn't see because his eyes were closed before his butt even touched back down into his seat.
She frantically pulls the charger into her phone and the USB into the charging port in the arm rest. After about a minute the phone powers back up and she enters her passcode hurriedly. Immediately she notices that she has missed notifications: a missed call from her mom, a missed call from Quinn, a text from Finn and 2 texts from Brittany. "Shit!" She yells in an almost whisper. She couldn't bring herself to look at the texts from Brittany yet. She felt too guilty. She hoped that whatever Brittany had left behind could wait until tomorrow when she could get in touch with Quinn.
Kurt throws his hands up in annoyance, "What is it now, Lopez?"
"Nothing, fuck. I'm really sorry. I just can't believe I forgot I was texting Brittany. Fucking Dani. And her fucking appears out of thin air to ruin Santana's day bullshit stunt. Fuck. She ruins everything."
"Good Lord, woman! How many times can you say 'fuck' in a single thought!?" He said teasingly. "So, just text Brittany back and explain what happened. I'm sure she will understand." He said as he snuggled back down into his chair and covered himself back up with his blanket.
Santana wondered if Brittany would, in fact, understand though. How could she really explain, through text that she hadn't seen her reply because Dani had showed up and oh, surprise! I'm gonna be in London with my ex-girlfriend for two weeks! She was sure Brittany would be less than thrilled at that news.
She finally got up enough nerve to click on the text thread to read what Brittany had sent to her.
My heart. - Brittany
But come to think of it I'm pretty sure you actually took it with you when you left so I'll just have to get it from you when you come back. 3 – Brittany
Santana just about melted as her eyes read the words "my heart". Brittany had a way of turning her to absolute mush and that was a quality that no one else she had ever dated had. And with that thought, butterflies that have come and gone since the night she met Brittany were once again back and they were fluttering like crazy in her stomach. Santana read the two texts over and over and over. She couldn't get enough of the words. She was giddy like a schoolgirl at the thought of Brittany's heart being hers.
She wanted so badly to respond to Brittany but for some reason she couldn't get her phone to connect to the in-flight WiFi. She would have to wait until she landed. Only about 4 more hours.