"That is not even what happened!" Kurt laughed with a flush of pink suddenly spreading across his cheeks. He continued, "Santana just likes to add flair to all of the stories she tells, particularly those from high school—"
"Otherwise known as the-time-in-Kurt-Hummel's-life-he-wishes-he-could-erase-from-history," Santana interrupted with a snarky laugh.
Kurt rolled his eyes but conceded rather quickly, "Yes, I'd say that is rather accurate, actually," he laughed. He smiled sheepishly at Sebastian looking to be assured that his new crush wasn't swayed negatively by the ridiculously overblown story Santana just told.
Sebastian smiled, "Who wants another round?" he said gesturing to each of empty or nearly empty glasses attempting to put Kurt's mind at ease. He could sense that Kurt wasn't enjoying the stroll down memory lane as much as Santana was and as much as he loved hearing about Kurt in all of his "Liza Minelli" glory, as Santana put it, he thought he should give him a little bit of a break.
"We'll all have another," Quinn said as she raised her empty wine glass in the air, answering for the entire group.
Sebastian motioned to Artie, "You want another?"
Artie looked at his nearly empty beer mug, "Sure, why not," she said with a shy smile.
Sebastian nodded and rose to his feet and as he started to move toward the bar Kurt moved to follow squeezing the other man's arm softly as an indication that he wanted to accompany him.
Santana could tell by Kurt's body language that he was smitten on his new sexual conquest. She knew that Kurt has been fairly unlucky in love and to her, the fact that Kurt has taken such a liking to Sebastian can only mean one thing, Sebastian needs a good ole talking to from Auntie Snixx. She smiled deviously at her own inner monologue as she made mental notes of exactly what she was going to say, all the insults she could hurl at the dimpled string bean with luscious hair. The sudden nudge from Quinn's elbow jolted her from her thoughts and back to the present.
Santana's smile faded into a scowl and her brows furrowed, "Jesus, Fabray. Can I help you?" she questioned as she rubbed her rib cage. "That hurt," she mumbled.
"Sorry," Quinn slurred and suddenly Santana was aware of just how inebriated her friend was. "Sometimes, I forget about my own strength," she smiled drunkenly.
Santana rolled her eyes, "I hate when you are more drunk than I am." She was still rubbing the site of Quinn's mini assault with an annoyed expression on her face.
Quinn, smiling like a schoolgirl, leans over and whispers loudly into Santana's ear. "I think Artie is super hot."
Santana can barely contain her disgust. Her eyes immediately dart to the young man at the far end of the table. He's seated a bit lower than the others as he is in a wheelchair. As the melody of Jamba Wamba's "Tubthumping" plays Santana notices him tapping along to the beat with his gloved hands. "Quinn, that's not even remotely true," she says through a scrunched face turning back to Quinn. "You cannot be serious. He's grooving to Jamba Wamba for Christ's sake!"
Quinn ignores her comment, "Do you think… all the plumbing still works?" she questioned looking at Artie with lustful eyes. "I've never had sex with someone in a wheelchair before. You know, like in the wheelchair." Quinn's mind started to wander euphorically.
"Seriously, the thought of you taking a ride on The Artie Abrams Express to Sexual Disappointment is not something I ever want to picture ever again. Ever."
Quinn brushes Santana's remarks aside with a hazy smile, "Stop it. I bet you he can really work those hips." She pauses pondering her last sentence with an eager smirk, "I'm gonna go talk to him."
"What? No, you are not! Stop this right now," she reached up and pulled Quinn who stood from her seat to walk over to Artie down back into her seat.
"Santana, what are you doing?" Quinn questioned her with a hint of frustration in her voice. "Let go of me," she said through gritted teeth as she lightly slapped Santana's hand off of her arm.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, Quinn?" Santana was beyond confused.
"Trying to get laid" she said with purpose.
"The fuck you are!" Santana protested. "Hello, what about Puck? Remember him? Your very serious boyfriend back in LA."
"I don't want to talk about Puck, right now."
"Well, he is a pretty pivotal part of this conversation don't you think?" Santana questioned with pointed eyes. She immediately noticed tears forming in Quinn's eyes. "Wait, what's going on, Fabray? Are you okay?" she asked tilting her head sympathetically.
"Noah, and I—" she started,"—Noah broke up with me." Quinn says as she wipes a single tear that managed to slip out of her eye much to her dismay.
"Bull fucking shit," Santana says with a laugh, "There's no fucking way. No way." Santana says matter-of-factly remembering her not so distant conversation with Puck about going ring shopping for the perfect engagement ring for Quinn. She's convinced that this whole thing is just a very elaborate joke, "Wow, Quinn. You almost had me there." She chuckles, "You almost had me believing you actually wanted to do the nasty with Wheels over there."
Quinn, clearly frustrated, "Santana, I'm not kidding. Puck broke up with me." She offers with no other words. No explanation, no reason, no excuses. Nothing. Just the simple point that she is no longer with Puck. "So, now here I am, single, heartbroken, in a foreign country and drunk off my ass." She adjusts her sweater slightly and takes out a compact mirror from her purse to check her makeup. "If I want to have meaningless casual sex with Artie, I will have sex with Artie."
Santana watched as Quinn sauntered over to Artie with one of the most seductive and purposeful walks Santana has ever seen in her life. Santana's mouth hangs open a bit in disbelieve. She can't help but be slightly impressed by the amount of confidence Quinn is exuding in this moment. However, that does not negate the fact that Santana is absolutely repulsed by the idea of this being Quinn's rebound hookup. Quinn is an absolute knock out. A perfect 10. She's the total package when it comes to looks, smarts, success, loyalty, compassion, etc. She's got a killer body, one that Santana has daydreamed about undressing and kissing all over far more times than she would ever like to admit. Quinn is hot. She's incredibly sexy and she is an absolute catch. She could have anyone anyone she wanted. She's essentially the blonde-haired straight version of Santana. And she chooses Artie? Artie Abrams?
To be clear, Santana was not jealous; not even close. She doesn't have a thing for Quinn; there has never been anything romantic between the two. They are just friends. However, if Santana is being honest, there have been a few drunken moments where their lips almost met; a few drunken moments when Quinn's hand may have lingered a little too long in a very convenient place. There was one in particular night before Dani moved to LA, Quinn and Puck were on one of their many many breaks, where something almost happened between the two of them. They were blackout drunk, lonely and in the need of a loving and seductive touch. They had flirted a bit and the thought absolutely crossed both of their minds but, ultimately, without ever even speaking the words, they both decided it would be too weird to cross the line from friendship to casual hookup with one of their longest and best friends. It was the right decision for every single reason. Quinn and Santana should never be intimate in that way. It would've been a huge mistake. You know what else would be a big mistake? Fucking Artie. He would be a huge mistake.
Santana continued to watch in a weird combination of awe and horror. Awe because Quinn is just so good at flirting. She's so seductive and captivating. Watching her lay her groundwork was a thing of beauty. Her flirting style reminded Santana of her own in a lot of ways. Which, makes sense, as they have been friends for decades, of course some of their personality traits would rub off on one another. Besides, they used to spend hours together in Santana's bedroom after cheerleading practice perfecting their flirting techniques on one another.
But the horror.
Oh, the horror of watching Quinn essentially throw herself at the tiny man in the sweater vest. Santana almost gagged at the thought. She couldn't stand the sight and thought to herself that if she kept staring at the awfulness unfolding before her, it would be burned in her memory forever, never being able to be unseen. She needed to advert her eyes; she needed a distraction. Where the heck were Sebastian and Kurt? They were supposed to be getting another round. "Christ," the probably snuck off into the bathroom to have another "go 'round". She shuddered at the thought of Kurt being intimate with anyone. She looked back at Quinn who was fawning all over Artie.
Suddenly she realized, she was sitting alone; with an empty drink. She let out a sigh that was mixed with boredom and a subtle hint of annoyance. She managed to catch the attention of a server that was walking by and motioned that she wanted another drink. When the girl looked back at her inquisitively as she had no idea what Santana was drinking, Santana yelled with a smile, "A bourbon on the rocks, please! Top shelf! Oh and make it a double!" The waitress nodded to which Santana replied, "Thank you!"
As the waitress approached with Santana's drink in hand, Santana couldn't help but think she resembled her crush back home. She smiled at the waitress and handed her a $50 bill, an American bill with President Grant's portrait on it. "Sorry, I haven't had time to convert any of my cash yet." She apologized. The waitress assured her it was no problem and flashed Santana a grateful smile. Thoughts of Brittany soon invaded Santana's thoughts. She smiled warmly as the images of Brittany danced across her mind. Lost in thought she moved the pineapple-cut tumbler glass to her lips and was impressed with the taste of the smooth liquor as it splashed on her tongue. It was chilled to perfection, she thought, and the thickness of the crystal glass helped keep the liquid at the perfect temperature; the ice showed no signs of melting.
The clanking of the ice against the crystal glass took her back to Malibu and the time she had just she spent there with Brittany. After making love all night long, Brittany had awoken absolutely parched and Santana went down to the kitchen to get them each a tall glass of ice water. After they each guzzled down the H2O, ice still remained in the glasses. Santana has a bad habit of chewing on her ice. According to her mother, she is going to break a tooth on an ice cube one day. Ironically, Brittany scolded Santana in the same way.
"You know, you really shouldn't bite down on ice cubes. Especially not ones that are that big," Brittany said with a concerned look on her face.
Santana laughed it off, "You sound just like my mom."
"Well, mama Lopez isn't wrong about this," Brittany insisted. "You could crack a tooth by doing that, seriously!" Brittany could tell Santana thought she was overreacting. "I'm serious, Santana." She persisted with a shy smile on her face. "I would hate for your absolutely mesmerizing smile to be compromised simply because you couldn't find better use for your ice."
"Is that a challenge?" Santana teased.
Brittany chuckled lightly, "No, it's not a challenge, I just mean ice isn't meant to be chewed. It's only purpose is to keep things cold. You don't see penguins chewing on igloos, do you?" Brittany said unironically.
Santana laughed, "No, I suppose not." She thought for a moment, a seductive look overtaking her face, "It did sound like you were challenging me to find—how did you put it? —Better use for my ice?" She took an ice cube in her hand and started moving slowing toward Brittany; her dark-mahogany eyes never breaking their gaze into the sapphire ocean staring back at them.
Brittany nodded looking a bit puzzled. "I'm not sure there really is any other use for ice, Santana—" her voice trailing off as the ice-cold cube made contact with her skin. "Santana, wh—wh—what are you doing?" she questioned as her body began to quiver with pleasure.
"Finding better use for my ice," she winked, running the ice cube down Brittany's torso and finding her way to the blonde's bare chest the cold sensation causing her nipple to harden and go erect. Santana moved her mouth over Brittany's breast taking her nipple into her own mouth and gently sucking on it. Brittany moaned with pleasure; her body aching with anticipation of what was going to come next. Santana, with Brittany's flesh still gently tucked between her lips, slid the ice cube to Brittany's other breast and repeated the same motion; circling the breast and then focusing on the nipple. Santana slid her palm over the ice and slowly began massaging the ice into Brittany's naked breast. She continued this for a few seconds, sucking on one side of Brittany's chest and sensually massaging the other with the ice. Brittany's moans seemed to be loaded with more and more pleasure the more contact her body had with the ice cube, and Santana. Finally, Brittany couldn't resist anymore and pulled Santana's mouth up into hers, cupping her face between her hands. She slipped her tongue between Santana's cold lips and kissed her slowly and deeply; Santana's hand still occupied by gently groping Brittany's chest. Her kisses were lustful but sweet, a combination only Brittany could pull off.
Santana smiled at the memory as she gazed longingly at the ice. It was thoughts like this that kept Santana company while she was so far away from Brittany. They had only a few days ago taken the next step in their… relationship? Santana wasn't quite sure what label to slap on it at the moment, but she would be kidding herself to think she wasn't falling for the tall, gorgeous, blonde. She wondered what Brittany was doing at that moment and checked her phone for the time. 10:30pm London time would make it… 2:30pm Los Angeles time.
"Perfect," Santana said out loud to herself as she lined up the glass of bourbon at the perfect angle for a photograph. She contemplated texting the photo to Brittany but, instead, decided on posting it on Instagram.
Caption: Really wishing someone was here to help me figure out how to put this ice to better use ;)
She smiled, maybe a little too wide, at her cleverness. She could expect a text from Brittany in a few minutes, she thought.
A few minutes later, and one more bourbon down, Quinn and Artie made their way back over to Santana. "Look who remembered they had a friend here!" Santana said with her usual snark. She looked to Quinn, "So when is Professor X gonna take you for a spin in his Blackbird?" she thought again for a moment, "or should I say on his blackbird!" she laughed a little too hard at her joke, which Quinn didn't find amusing. Artie on the other hand, being the total comic book nerd that he is was quite taken back by the X-Men reference.
"Santana, I had no idea you were an X-Men fan!" he exclaimed.
"I'm full of surprises," she winked, which took a little too much effort. Why was it so hard to wink, she wondered?
Quinn laughed adding, "Santana has always been a huge comic book nerd. Marvel, DC, you name it. Santana has read it. It's a little fun fact that most people don't know."
"I'm more of a DC girl, truthfully. Justice League and all. You know, Batman, Flash, Wonder Woman…" she continued, "but, who doesn't love the X-men, am I right?" Her words were beginning to slur and her vision was doubling considerably. How many drinks had she had? She couldn't remember. She had at least 2 since Quinn deserted her. And she thinks 3 before that. Yikes, 5 bourbons were a lot for her petite body to handle. She was bound to be on her ass in a matter of minutes and she knew it. "I've even been known to don a Catwoman costume for foreplay a few times before," she slurred with a flirtatious wink.
Artie liked that image a little too much. Or just enough depending on which of the two women you ask: Quinn or Santana.
Just then, the screen of Santana's phone lit up and she felt the phone vibrate on the table. She looked down and noticed an Instagram notification from Brittany. She unlocked her phone eager to read her crush's response to her oh-so-clever post.
I hear ice can be a major aphrodisiac for some people… ;)
Santana's heart skipped a beat and her breath caught in her throat for a few seconds. She was a little too buzzed to think of a clever reply, so she simply typed her go-to response to anything remotely sexual…
Wanky.
Just after she submitted the comment, she received a text notification from Brittany.
You're ssttttuuuuupppppiiiiidd lol – Brittany
Haha, stupid for you ;) – Santana
:) – Brittany
How's London? - Brittany
It could be fun but it's laaaaame Everyone is either hooking up or on the verge of hooking up and I'm here all by my lonesome :( Aslo, I'm shrunk – Santana
I'm sorry, sweetie. I wish I was there with you. – Brittany
Wait, what does shrunk mean? Are you smaller somehow? Is everything smaller in London? – Brittany
Sorry typo. Shrunk means drunk. – Santana
U r so adorable when you r drunk. I wish I could see you right now. – Brittany
FaceTime in 15? – Santana
I can't I have a class in 10 mins. – Brittany
:( - Santana
But it's only an hr. Can I FaceTime you when it's over? – Brittany
See you then, gorgeous 3 – Santana
Santana was not sure how she made it back to her room. When she wakes, she is face down in her bed, on top of the covers, still wearing her clothes from her night out. She groans at the realization that she already has the makings of a massive hangover. She reaches for her phone to check the time with only one eye open; and it's just barely open. 3:46am. And two missed FaceTime notifications.
FaceTime.
Brittany.
Two missed FaceTime calls from Brittany 4 hours ago.
"FUCK," she exclaimed as she sat up in a huff. Her head pounded unpleasantly as if there was a drum line taking place in her frontal lobe. The room around her spun like a merry-go-round; and it was anything but merry. She tried desperately to regain some control and to force the headache away. She reached over to the water and aspirin on her nightstand, popped the pills in her mouth and took a sip of the water to wash them down. She realized Quinn must've put her to bed. How else would the water and aspirin have made it to her nightstand? There's no way she did that in the state she was in. She goes into the camera app on her iPhone and flips the forward-facing camera on so that she can gauge how much of a mess she looks before returning Brittany's call. Not too bad, considering, she decides not wanting to waste any more time. She fumbles around with her phone and somehow manages to make the call to Brittany.
After about 3 and a half rings, Brittany's face appears on Santana's screen. And with that the kaleidoscope of butterflies that have resided inside Santana's belly ever since the first moment she laid eyes on Brittany make their presence known once more. They flood Santana with feelings of excitement, nervousness, wonder, and longing. She wishes so badly she could reach through the phone and kiss Brittany; something she won't be able to do for at least two weeks.
"Hey there, stranger." Brittany's snowy smile is all that Santana can focus on.
"Hey Brit," Santana coos as she adjusts her position on the bed. "I'm sorry I missed your calls earlier, I must've fallen asleep."
"It's ok, no big deal. I figured that's what happened," Brittany assures her. "I'm glad you called me back though. I was missing you."
The butterflies. Oh, the butterflies. They go crazy at the idea of Brittany missing Santana. They just can't contain themselves; they get overly excited and started fluttering around and make it hard for Santana to see straight. She struggles to find the words to respond to Brittany. All she can do is muster a smile. It's a genuine bright and loving smile, so Brittany doesn't seem to notice Santana's inner struggle.
"So how was your first night in London? Did you have so much fun? You look like you had a lot of fun." Brittany says happily, eager to hear about Santana's night.
"I did, there was about a half an hour or so where Kurt and Quinn both deserted me to seek out penis, though. That didn't make me very happy."
"Oh, yikes. That's no fun at all." – Brittany says sympathetically.
"Yeah, it wasn't," she confirmed then paused for a moment, taking the beautiful sight of Brittany in. "Enough about them," she smiled, "It is so good to see your face and hear your voice," Santana says in a way that Brittany knows she is flirting. "Not as good as in person though."
Brittany shakes her head in agreement.
Brittany smiles, "So, that was a pretty cheeky Insta post earlier." She bites her bottom lip playfully awaiting Santana's response.
"I thought you'd like that. Maybe not as much as the real thing, but, you know, the reminder was nice for me," she hesitates before continuing, "You know, I'm not sure I will ever be able to look at ice the same way again." She says as she licks her bottom lip and then bites it gently. She moves her gaze to Brittany's lips.
Brittany can feel her face start to warm up with the thought of the ice on her body and Santana at the helm. "Me either," Brittany confesses.
Santana has managed to get herself all hot and bothered which frustrates her a bit. "Fuck, Brit."
"What? You ok?" Brittany says in a soft, sensual tone. The sound is teasing to Santana.
"Fuck. No, I'm not." Santana feels her body begin to ache, specifically the area between her legs. "I'm drunk and I want you."
"You do?" Brittany moves her gaze to Santana's lips. She watches them move as Santana responds.
"You know I do, Brit." She locks her eyes onto Brittany's as Brittany moves her gaze from Santana's lips.
"I want you too." Brittany admits. "I want you all the time."
Before Santana can even think about what she is about to say it just falls from her lips, "Come to London."
This snaps Brittany out of her semi-euphoric state. Unsure if she heard the brunette correctly, she asks her to repeat herself.
"Come to London, Brit. Come to London and Fuck me."
With the second part of Santana's response, Brittany's excitement falters. "She's just drunk and wants drunk sex," Brittany realized.
"London is a little too far for a booty call, don't you think?" she says with a laugh.
Santana doesn't want a booty call though. "How about multiple booty calls. Every night for the next two weeks?" Santana said cheekily, "Would that be worth your while?"
With this, Brittany feels her pulse quicken and she can't seem to move her mouth to find the words to express her desire to be with Santana every night for the next two weeks. She simply smiles and nods.
"I want to hear you say it. Tell me it will be worthwhile," Santana says in a tone familiar to Brittany. She's heard this tone when Santana begged Brittany to touch her when Brittany was withholding her touch, as a tease, in her bed.
"It would be worthwhile." Brittany confirms.
"What would be?" Santana looks at Brittany with alluring eyes.
"To fly to London," Brittany pauses to bite her lip sensually then continues, "to be your booty call every night for the next two weeks." She blows Santana a kiss.
"Fuck. Ok, yeah, I can't take this FaceTime shit. We need to get you on a flight out here ASAP."
"Oh, Santana, I can't." Brittany says reluctantly.
"Why not?" Santana asks; disappointment in her tone.
"I've got responsibilities here. I can't just leave for two weeks." Brittany replies.
"You can't?" Santana does not like where this conversation is heading. She thought she was going to be able to see Brittany soon; to touch her, kiss her, taste her. Oh, to taste her.
"No, I can't. I'm sorry." Brittany drops her eyes so that she is no longer making eye contact with Santana.
"Is it the studio? The competition? What?"
"It's the studio. The competiton isn't an issue now. I made the cut. We go to live shows in 5 weeks."
"You made the cut!? Why didn't you tell me? When did you find out?"
"I just found out a few hours ago. I was going to tell you over FaceTime but then you didn't answer and when you just called, I was so wrapped up in how good you look, I forgot."
"Brit, that's so amazing. Congratulations, seriously." Santana is beaming with pride but circles back to the conversation about trying to get Brittany to fly to London, "Can't get someone to cover your classes though? Even for just a few days?" Santana pleads with her lips slightly pouting.
Brittany thinks for a moment, unable to resist Santana's attempts on her heart. "I mean, I suppose I could ask Matt and Sugar to split my classes for a few days. I could actually really use a break." She can't help but smile at the thought of seeing Santana in the flesh sooner rather than later.
Santana's face lights up with excitement at the news. "Really?!" she asks anxiously.
"Really. Tina, Sugar and I actually sort of joked about this earlier today. They were saying that I should just fly to London and surprise you."
Santana laughed, "I would've liked that." She smiled
"So how would this work exactly?" Brittany asked.
"I'll have Quinn figure out all of the details in the morning and I'll send you the info immediately after. There's only a few direct flights out of LAX to Heathrow every day and I think one leaves LAX in the early afternoon. So, if I were you, I'd start packing," she says with a huge grin and wide eyes. She thinks for a moment and then continues "Oh, also, you should bring a friend to keep you company while I'm recording so that you won't be bored and alone when I'm at work."
"I don't think any of my friends can really afford to take any time off from work let alone buy a last-minute ticket to London. And plus, Sugar would be my top choice, but I'm going to need her to cover my two pre-school classes."
"Is Tina a dancer?" Santana wonders aloud.
"She can hold her own, sure, but she's not a professional." Brittany says-matter-of-factly.
"Why don't you ask Tina to fill in for you and bring Sugar with you," Santana offers as a solution.
Brittany thinks for a moment and says she has to talk to both Matt and Tina to make sure they are available to help cover her shifts, to Mike to make sure he is cool with her skipping town for a few days and to inform Sugar that she is going to be accompanying her on this trip abroad. She promises to text Santana with confirmation either way in just a few minutes after she speaks with everyone. They end their FaceTime call, reluctantly, and Santana makes her way to the bathroom to wash her face. She pulls her hair back in a loose ponytail and changes out of her clothes into comfy pajamas after her face is clean and her teeth are brushed. She turns down the bed and slides between the sheets and she hears her phone buzz on the nightstand. Could it be Brittany already? It was only about 10 minutes ago they ended their call. Could she have already cleared everything with her friends? Or had she changed her mind entirely. She convinces herself it's the latter before opening the text.
I'm coming to London, baby! – Brittany
:) – Santana
Stay tuned for details - Santana
I can't wait 3 – Brittany
Santana reads the text over and over and hears it being said in Brittany's voice in her head. "I'm coming to London, baby." "Was she calling me baby?" Or was she just saying the word out of excitement? Like in the episode of FRIENDS where they are all in London for Ross's wedding and Joey says, repeatedly throughout the episode, "We're in London, baby". He's not referring to anyone specifically when he says baby. It's just part of the expression of excitement. Santana is sure she's heard Brittany call her baby before. But maybe that was just in the heat of the moment while Santana was pleasuring her body and she was coming to a climax. Santana's thinking about this too much. There's no reason to over analyze this. Be cool, Santana, be cool. She's coming to London to be with you. Just be excited about that.