Amity was understandably nervous as she waited, behind Hexide for Willow Park to show. She'd not spoken one on one with the witch since the whole memory incident. Amity shuddered, She really was sorry for that. But she knew she couldn't change the past. Some mistakes you just had to live with. Besides that wonderful human had helped set everything right. So no harm no foul really.

She was a Blight, and should definitely have carried herself more gracefully. Amity subconsciously straightened her posture and scanned the horizon for what had once been her most treasured friend. She should've never set fire to those memories sure, but she also should've never tried to cover it up by blowing out. Amity sighed, so many mistakes in her past but as she looked toward the sun, she remembered all of what she gained recently.

"Hey" a slightly nasally voice said, startling Amity.

"Hey! Willow!" Amity said startled by one of those recent gains "It's- It's good to see you!" she said trying to remember the last time she had something so amicable to her.

It was 7 years ago. Half her life ago. An eternity ago. It hurt as if it were yesterday. Amity's 7th birthday party. The last time she'd had a true friend until very recently. The scene flashed through her mind, the youngest Blight meeting Willow at the door and ushering her inside quickly. The excited whispers. The hushed snickers. It all flashed through her mind at once. It was almost too much. A lifetime of training in showing no emotion was really handy right about now.

The suspense of the topic of Willow's discussion weighed heavy on Amity's shoulders. She'd received nothing in the way of preparation except for a note that said

'meet me behind the school after classes today

-Willow'

Amity had so much to apologize for, so much to explain. She hoped Willow would forgive her for all of her past transgressions but she understood if Willow still distrusted her. Amity looked at WIllow out of the corner of her eyes, trying to gauge her emotions.

"Yeah," Willow said skeptically, closely watching her former friends' face. "Anyways I wanted to talk to you" Willow paused for an appropriately dramatic second. "About Luz"

The tension eased from Amity's shoulders. She could talk about Luz all day every day. Easily. A smile snuck it's way onto the green-haired-teen's face. "Uhh sure what about her?" Amity could feel her cheeks tinge at just the mention of the erratic human.

Willow placed her hand on her face, it didn't look like she enjoyed doing this much. Whatever this was. With a sigh Willow said "you have to give up on her"

Amity grated her teeth and set her jaw forward. She placed her arms in front of her chest. Her heart rate quickened and it took that lifetime of controlling her emotions to keep her face in check. Amity began to notice how hot it was outside, she noticed the sweat on her back and the hairs not quite tucked behind her ears. Clearly on edge she looked around and then back at willow. Was this some sort of cruel joke? Amity breathed deeply, one of the first tricks she ever learned to manage her fits. She blinked slowly and deliberately and she lowered her stance. Amity's eyes narrowed and she focused on Willow. The internal tension was quite clearly back. Her voice now icy cold as she responded. "What do you mean?"

Willow flinched but came to meet Amity's gaze. "You can still be friends of course but look" Willow sighed. "You're not subtle, I know how you feel about her"

Amity felt her cheeks color even more though from rage or embarrassment neither witch knew. Amity felt like she'd just been through a titan-quake. Her legs felt wobbly and the world around her seemed to contour into a deep cavern "What?" she hissed out scathingly.

"Look you can still be friends with her," Willow repeated quickly. Willow then stopped and collected herself as she realized she was trying to appease Amity. "We can even still be friends" Willow said hopefully.

Amity took a step back, her eyes darting around nervously looking for a horde of people to laugh at her. There was nobody of course, which just made Amity more suspicious. Amity felt her body heat continue to rise. She was quite certain her face had broken out into sweat and her hands had gone clammy. Amity felt like she was going into a final exam only having studied a couple hours the night before "What are you saying then?" Amity said carefully.

"You can't date her." Willow said sternly.

Amity blushed again, this time definitely from embarrassment. Amity hugged herself, the closest thing to a real hug she'd gotten for 7 years. Before Luz that was. Just the act of hugging herself brought the affectionate girl to mind. Amity was able to portray calmness to a degree. "What? Who said?" Amity said looking ready to murder someone for gossiping about her.

Willow cut her off. "Seriously?Stop that. I've seen the way you look at her. I know you, Amity. I'm just protecting her." Willow began to explain.

Amity averted her eyes. Looks Amity needed to brush up on the signature Blight emotional repression technique. Amity's mind reeled. She felt like she'd just been hit with a cold wet fish. Did Luz need protecting from me? The thought crushed Amity's soul. Her eyes began sweating. "Protect her" Amity repeated in disbelief.

"Look Luz is- she's too pure. You can't hurt her. Not like you hurt me" Willow said in the same stern voice as before, with a hint of sadness hidden her inflection.

Amity protested. "Look Willow I've changed! I've stopped hanging with Boscha! I helped you and Luz with that Grudgby match. I'm better now I would never-" Amity couldn't finish. The idea of Hurting Luz cut too deep to say.

"And that's good!" Willow replied amicably. "But c'mon that's been all been within two weeks. You don't honestly expect me to think you've changed 7 years of behaviour in two weeks."

Amity faltered. No, she didn't expect that of Willow. Willow raised a good point, Amity wasn't quite sure herself that she had changed that much. But the feeling that Luz gave her? It was hope and happiness. She felt better hanging out with Luz in the past two weeks than she had in every single good day of the past 7 years combined. She couldn't just leave that on the table. Could she? Amity thought for a moment, if it was really what was best for Luz, amity could and would do it. She just wasn't sure it was best for Luz. From what the Latina girl had told Amity, she hasn't ever had a lot of friends. Abandoning the girl now would definitely hurt Luz. That's not what Willow wants, Amity reminded herself. Willow had made it clear they could all still be friends.

Amity couldn't imagine being happy without Luz and that was final.

Amity shook her head. "You don't understand Willow, The way Luz makes me feel-"

"Look Amity, we all love Luz." WIllow began.

"Not like I do!" Amity protested again, feeling tears well up in her eyes again. She felt like the walls of the world were closing in. Amity planned a route to run away.

Willow gave Amity an icy glance that froze the words in Amity's mouth.

Amity's mouth felt dry as she came to a stunning realization. "Y-you do understand"

Willow's cheeks flushed for a moment. "Look this isn't about me, this is about what's best for Luz"

Amity began to grow angrier. She'd controlled herself up until now for the most part but she felt lied to. Willow was trying to steal away Amity's only sense of comfort. Her only sense of joy. The only thing she looked forward to when she woke up in the morning. Amity couldn't see a way out of the situation. It was time to lash out. "You don't care about Luz!" Amity spat the accusation at Willow. "You just want to stop me so you can have her yourself!"

Did Amity mean it? She didn't know, but she did know she regretted saying it aloud. She saw Willow's face fall and it looked like the witch was about to cry. Amity wiped her face and realized she'd been crying too.

Amity had hurt Willow again. Willow was right, Amity was in no position to be in a relationship with Luz. Amity's heart sank. Why couldn't she stop hurting people?

"That's not true!" it was Willow's turn to protest.

"It's not?" the tears were gone from Amity's eyes now replaced with stubborn defiance. "Then let's put that to the test. I won't ask Luz out or pursue her romantically at all." Amity paused a second for sufficient dramatic timing. "If you don't" Amity drew a circle in the air and placed her hand in it looking at Willow menacingly.

It was a bluff. This isn't what Amity wanted. She wanted to be friends with Willow, she wanted Luz to be happy! This wasn't helping anyone. But Amity had walked herself right into a trap. A trap designed by her and for her.

It was difficult for Amity to think straight. The tears on her cheeks and in her eyes. She felt cornered by her former friend, trapped between a shattered past and a collapsing future. The present made her feel claustrophobic.

Willow was almost intimidated. Almost. Willow looked into the eyes of her former friend, her former bully, her current rival. "Deal" she said quietly and took the witches hand.

Amity was astonished. That was definitely an unforced error. Was Willow really here on Luz's behalf? Did Willow really have such little faith in her?

Amity forced herself to look at Willow smugly. "Was that all you had to say to me?" Amity said condescendingly

Willow nodded, her face the happy shell she'd put on for everyone for years. Willow gave a short curtsey and excused herself, leaving Amity alone.

Alone.

Amity had been alone before but this was different. This was externally imposed. She couldn't talk or vent to anyone. She had nobody to turn to. She wanted to tell Luz what had happened. She wanted to call Willow back and apologize. She wanted to convince her former friend to undo the witch's oath. She was tempted to confide in her sister! Her sister for titan's sake! Amity had nowhere to turn to. Her diary would have to do. It had for 7 years.

As soon as Willow was out of sight Amity sank down the ground and began to cry. She felt so exposed, so abused. She shook her head guilty and ashamed. She knew she wasn't the victim here. She could see Willow's point of view, especially now that she was convinced that Willow was there on Luz's behalf. She even felt bad for the Witch, she could imagine developing a close relationship with someone and then see that threatened rather quickly. She didn't have to imagine it actually. She cursed her pride for issuing such a reckless challenge. She chuckled through her tears, perhaps Luz was rubbing off on her.

Amity was a mess. Half-heartedly Amity summoned her abomination and instructed it to pick her up. Amity told the abomination to take her home. Amity felt too drained to walk. Her legs were heavy and her heart was tired. Her brain was fried and her arms were aching. Amity was in pain.

Amity was carried through the woods emotionally defeated. The abomination slime on her skin made her reminisce about the first time she ever met Luz the human. She was glad to be friends with Luz of course but the feeling that she'd messed things up with Willow for good turned her stomach over. Amity typed, deleted and re-typed a message to Willow over penstagram a dozen times before giving up. She felt like throwing her phone against her tree. She felt like throwing up. Amity just felt. Just when good things were happening in her life, when Luz showed up when Willow was talking to her again, when she ditched her toxic friends. Amity managed to mess it up. Her life was a perpetually tumbling house of cards and she was trying desperately to protect the few pillars that remained upright. Amity was always fighting that losing battle, the cascading cards destroying what little progress she could make.

Amity reached the blight manor where she lived and began working on homework. Though it was a slow process since she ruined so much parchment with her tears.

A/N:

Hey! hope you enjoyed! like I said this is a sort of prequel thing to an upcoming story! so if you're interested in more I plan on posting the prologue next Tuesday!

Hey! would you mind leaving a review? i'd really like to know what (if anything) you liked about this! and what (if anything) you didn't!