(vi)
Atsuko had never been able to get much past Ryohei. He knew it; she knew it.
"Atsu," he said and it kind of sounded like he was going to have a migraine. "- what're you doing?"
Atsuko would have tried to look innocent, but that was futile. Her other half likely knew her better than she knew herself, past life aside. "Be a bit more specific, Ryo."
"You didn't have to bring Tsuna with you to meet Hibari," he points out. Atsuko figured he would notice. "You never do things that you don't have to do."
That was a stretch, she supposes, but he is also very aware of the scope of things she would do that she didn't have to do. Introducing a fluffy little creature (that is theirs and not Hibari's and Hibari would do well to remember that) to her worst nightmare was not in that range.
"Well," she begins and she doesn't know how to continue. She hadn't actually planned beyond getting Tsuna his safety net.
What was she to say? Hey, Ryo, this is actually my second life and I've been keeping my first one a secret from you for years. Oh yeah, and you're an anime character in it so I sort of know your future! Yay!
"Well?" He's expecting an explanation now, a good one. She can't just play it off as a random urge anymore - not that she would have.
Atsuko could never lie to Ryohei.
How could she? How dare she?
Lying to him would be lying to the person who gives her his absolute trust, who relies on her and leans on her. He would know too, he always knew.
And the worst part? He would probably accept it. He would think that she was keeping things from him for his own good. He would trust her even though she didn't even deserve it!
She never deserved it.
Atsuko knew that she was much too grateful, that he was much too important for her to ever do such a thing.
"I, um," she told him very intelligently. "Tsuna's danger prone."
Ryohei raises an eyebrow, his face serious as he gestures for her to go on.
She would tell him the truth, just not all of the truth.
She wasn't ready for that. Not yet. She wasn't sure if she ever will be. Perhaps that was why she was so looking forward to the events of Kokuyo - she yearned for someone to understand the true nature of death. To be able to speak of it and come to terms with it before she can finally present it to her sunshine.
Even though the chances of that happening truly are slim and the only person she could confide in properly would be a mass-murderer, she can still pray.
"I want him to have a support network," Atsuko says finally and she knows that Ryohei knows that it's not the whole story. It burns. "To protect against the bullying - and teachers! Teachers hurt him too! I, I thought that -"
"- that Hibari would be able to protect him from that?" Ryohei finishes for her.
Atsuko nods.
Ryohei nods back. "Okay."
"Okay," Atsuko repeats faintly. Her arms find his waist and she can feel herself being pulled into an inescapable embrace. "Sorry."
Sorry isn't enough. It would never be enough - she was keeping things from Ryohei!
Atsuko was ruthless in what she would do for the boy beside her. However, she was not ruthless in what she would do to him. There is a difference.
"It's extremely okay, Atsu," he reassures and to him, it was. To her, it was not. "Tell me everything later?"
Atsuko doesn't hesitate to nod. He could probably feel it against his shoulder, for there was a slight tightening in his embrace.
It would have been uncomfortable for anyone else, but Atsuko didn't protest. She had, after all, inadvertently alerted him to there being something else going on, something serious and something about Tsuna.
She hadn't meant to do that.
There are so many words that she wishes to say but they lay caught in her throat, immovable, unyielding, so instead she says "wanna put Netflix on, Ryo?"
"Sure," he says. "One of those extremely weird American shows you like?"
"Please. I would die if we watched another boxing documentary."
"I'd almost approve of that kind of death."
Atsuko looks up at him with hopeful eyes.
"Almost, Atsu."
Atsuko pouts.
In her first life, her parents were one of the sole bright spots. She remembers loving them so much.
She remembers warm and loving embraces - rambunctious dinners and laughter and all the things she now received from the Sasagawa family whenever she came over (which was a lot, she even had her own room there).
She wonders how they felt when she died. Were they happy, to lose the burden upon their bills and their fridge? She was never the best child, no extracurriculars or jobs or anything to make them proud and to provide. She had other siblings too, better ones. More likely, however, they were depressed.
She had been their child, after all.
Morishiba Atsuko's parents had no such connection to her.
Don't get her wrong, she still cared for them, they are her parents.
But there was still a kind of disconnect between them, the kind created by hardworking parents that ran their own business and had no time to be at home besides for sleeping purposes and by a distant child too unsure of how to interact with them.
How could she call someone else mama and papa if she already had two other faces attached to the role?
It was cruel, really, to them all. To Morishiba Nanami and Morishiba Tanari especially, because Atsuko didn't want to to give them a chance. She didn't want to replace her fondest memories from that first attempt at living.
So she let herself drift and drift until she wondered if they even knew anything about who she was anymore.
And this, especially, is what made this rare family dinner awkward as fuck.
"So, Atsu-chan," Tanari (he's not really her father, is he anything?) began. "I heard that you're doing well in English! The teachers say you're practically fluent!"
Ah, yes, they did get reports from her teachers, didn't they? It's not like Atsuko would ever tell them anything herself.
(What's left unsaid is that Atsuko has keys to the family business, that she can visit anytime.)
(They know what she is doing just as well as she does.)
Atsuko shrugs. "It's easy stuff." It's her first language.
Nanami shakes her head, an almost-eerie grin on her face. Atsuko got her corpse-looks from somewhere, after all. It just looks a lot creepier on the older woman because she's so happy all the time. "It's very impressive! Knowing English will be great for when you're taking over the family business!"
That's right, isn't it? Atsuko had said that she wanted to run the funeral parlor when she gets older.
But now, she realizes, that if she does so then someday it will be Ryohei, Kyoko or Tsuna's dead bodies rotting away in the morgue - that she will forever regret taking over the parlor because she had not been there to save those precious to her.
She cannot run the funeral parlor.
"Or when I'm in the mafia. Mafiosos like languages like that," she says, perfectly deadpan, as if she is not completely serious.
They laugh, and Atsuko wonders if this is how it will always be.
(She knows it is.)
"My parents are convinced that I'm Ryo's slut," Atsuko bemoans dramatically, plopping down upon Kyoko's bed.
"But haven't they always thought that?" Kyoko questions innocently, rummaging through her drawer for makeup and nail polish and all that other stuff that Atsuko is entirely convinced that she can do without.
Kurokawa Hana stares at the other two girls flatly, though there is interest sparking in her dark eyes. "Story time," she demands. "Now."
Atsuko isn't entirely sure what she thinks of Kyoko's best friend.
On one hand, they understand each other. They understand the feeling of standing beside something so beautiful, so bright, and supporting that brightness as best as they can. They share a role and they know this well.
However, Atsuko also knew this girl to be canon.
She knew nothing of what Kurokawa does in canon - her role, her relationships - but she knows that this girl has a place in canon and that makes her dangerous until proven innocent.
"Well," Atsuko begins, "- there are a number of reasons as to why they think that."
"She likes to wear Onii-chan's sweaters around their house," Kyoko supplies. "Just his sweaters."
"And underwear," Atsuko protests half-heartedly. "But yeah, that does kinda make it look like we're screwing but honestly -"
"I'm surprised you're not," Kurokawa comments.
"- shut up, they're warm and comfy and cover everything they need to cover, even though I'm not even short!"
Just two inches shorter than Ryohei, actually, hmph. Cliches state that the girls must always be shorter than the guys that are precious to them. Genetics state 'fuck that'.
"It's because you're such a stick, Atsu-nee," Kyoko explains with a giggle. "Everything's big on you."
"That still doesn't explain why exactly your parents think you're like that."
"Ryo spends the night a lot," Atsuko says thoughtfully. "He's at like, half the breakfasts I spend with them. It's really only because we fall asleep together while trying to figure out school stuff, but it is kind of suspicious."
"Kind of suspicious," Kurokawa repeated flatly. "If I didn't know better I'd think the same thing."
Kyoko nods empathetically. "When I was younger I used to wish that Atsu-nee and Onii-chan would get married because I wanted a big sister. But now? Now, I have seen the light," she said, looking up to the ceiling as though she had an epiphany. "Royal courtship for the win!"
Atsuko snickered at the memory, ignoring that last statement entirely. "You were such a cutie back then. So sweet and pure," she said fondly, wiping a nonexistent tear from her eye. "What happened to you over the years, Kyo? When did you become so… so… evil?"
Kurokawa shook her head. "This one? Sweet? Pure? Please, I can literally pinpoint the exact moment she stopped being all that."
"The floor is yours, Kurokawa," Atsuko said, gesturing grandly. Kurokawa nodded in response, getting off of the floor and grabbing a hairbrush, holding it like a microphone.
Kyoko giggled. "I have no idea whatsoever as to what either of you are saying."
Kurokawa flipped her off, pacing the floor as though it were a stage. "It was a long, long time ago. On a dark, stormy day in the third grade."
Atsuko nodded to herself. "Shit always goes down in the third grade."
"Three is an unlucky number," Kyoko chimed in before blinking. "I feel like I shouldn't be supporting whatever you're about to say, Hana-chan."
"Hush, evil creature of the darkness," Kurokawa waved her off. "Anyways, so, third grade. Some stupid little eight year-old monkey decided it would be a great idea to confess his undying love and devotion -"
"You shouldn't make fun of other people's feelings, Hana-chan!"
"- and in doing so, the monkey went off on one of the infamous 'I love Kyoko' rants, the first of its kind, mind you -"
"Wait, that's where it started? Dude!"
"Someone would've done it sooner or later without this go ahead, Morishiba," Kurokawa dismissed. "But anyways, it was in this rant that the terrible and horrible thing known as Kyoko's ego was born!"
Atsuko whistled lowly. "What'd the brat even say?"
"Oh, I remember this one!" Kyoko realized. "Um, I think he called me prettier than a Disney princess -"
"Okay now that is smooth. Damn, that eight year old's got game -"
"- smarter than smart -"
"I don't even get that one," Kurokawa confessed. "Kyoko was an idiot back then."
"Hey!"
"It's true," Atsuko said with a shake of her head. "You had horrible grades back then."
"It's not my fault the teachers were all boring," Kyoko huffed. "Anyhow, I think he also wrote a poem, but I don't really remember it."
"Talk about young love, eh?"
Kurokawa shook her head. "Tragic, tragic love. The awakening of Kyoko's ego led to an awareness of her capabilities, of the way she affects people and all the things that come with that."
Atsuko shudders.
Kyoko shoots them a faux-offended look. "I'm not that bad," she complains and her two companions snort.
"Besides, this is a sleepover! We shouldn't be talking about my super villain affinities, we should be talking about… boys!" Kyoko declares.
Kurokawa brightens and Atsuko hides her face in a pillow.
"That Mochida really is coming on to you, Kyoko," Kurokawa says. Atsuko frowns.
Mochida, Mochida, where has she heard that one before…?
"Oh yeah, isn't he that one dude in Ryo and I's class? The chauvinistic bastard?"
"Yup," Kurokawa confirmed just as Kyoko began to protest. "That's the monkey."
"He's not that bad…" Kyoko mutters. Atsuko wonders how it is that this girl can see the good in just about anyone - hell, she'd probably even like Byakuran if she talked to him after whatever it is that his arc entails.
"He is," Atsuko drawls in response. "I've known the guy for a while and he hates Ryo and I since our club is so much better than his."
The kendo club just wasn't as top quality as the boxing club, in spite of it being more popular. Atsuko was convinced that that was only because of the infatuation most girls had with hot guys with swords. She wasn't much of an exception, after all.
Kyoko giggled. "Everyone can get a bit jealous, Atsu-nee."
"A bit?" Kurokawa snorted. "According to the rumors, I wouldn't be surprised if he had two dart boards up on his wall - one for each of them."
"Tch, please," Atsuko dismissed. "There are at least four dartboards for each of us so that he doesn't have to change the pictures too often."
"Don't bother trying to convince her, Morishiba," the other ravenette said. "She doesn't want to hate the asshole since she has to spend so much time with him because of student council stuff."
"Anyways," Kyoko said before Atsuko could reply, "- you're a senior, Atsu-nee, but you've never had a crush on someone other than Hibari-san."
Tricky little Kyo… changing the subject before it got too annoying…
Atsuko sighed. "I don't have a crush on Hibari, fuck your royal courtship. I happen to have a very specific type."
Kurokawa leaned forward, interest dancing within her dark eyes like a shark who just caught sent of blood. "Oh? Care to elaborate?"
"Certainly," Atsuko said dismissively. "My ideal man is an elegant, prideful swordsman. He is tall and aristocratic, with long silver hair that perfectly fits his beautiful features…"
Atsuko nodded to herself, sighing blissfully. Yes, she could wax poetic about Sesshomaru from the anime Inuyasha forever and ever…
(Belatedly, she realized that she also just described Superbi Squalo and that that fact will eventually come back to bite her in the ass.)
A/N
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
So, recently Natripper and I sat down over sushi to discuss every one of the possible pairings for Atsuko and whether or not they'd actually be healthy choices.
In light of this, I have made a definite decision on the endgame pairing - everything before that however? Fair game. Atsuko is going to go through at least one relationship before settling with her final partner and the votes have definitely been taken into account for this stuff, don't worry.
Thank you all for your opinions though! It was very interesting to see what you guys thought about who Atsuko should end up with and I'm so glad that everyone was invested enough in this to contribute. Thanks again!
Ciao!