Chapter Twenty
"The publicity from this article has given me a bit of an idea, I was hoping I could run it by you?"
"Of course, what is it?" asked Ginny.
"Well, I am not being big headed or anything, but obviously, people are beginning to know my name. And if all goes well, at the end of the year I will have been made at least one offer from a professional Quidditch team, then I will have even more publicity. Well, I look good on the outside; Head Girl, elite Seeker and all that - well, what I mean is, that no one would guess that I have had mental health problems, significant mental health problems."
"Right. And your idea?"
"Well I was thinking of either writing an article or giving an interview or something so that other young people could know that anyone can be affected by mental health problems, that it is possible to recover. What do you think?"
"I think it's brilliant. It's certainly very generous,"
"What do you mean?"
"Well the risk is that some people, ignorant people, I mean, and don't take this the wrong way - but well, they might always think of you as a nutter."
"Yeah, I've thought of that."
"Have you spoken to your therapist about it?"
"Not yet, I was wondering if it was possible a flight of fancy or something."
"I don't think so, at all. Hermione is always a good person to raise these sorts of things, she seems to be able to identify ways to head off potential problems and ways to maximise impact."
"Yes, I definitely will discuss it with her. There's something else."
"Why did my stomach suddenly drop through the floor?"
"Perhaps because you sensed that I am about to up the ante. I was thinking of George."
"George? George Weasley?"
"Yeah. We were in the same year, he might remember that I went a little sideways. But I was thinking of writing to him to outline my idea and to ask him to participate, it's just that mental health isn't just a women's issue, you know?"
"How could George help?"
"Well, he is a bit like me in that he is a well known, successful businessperson, a famous joker and prankster who is grieving the death of his twin brother. I'd be shocked if he hasn't been struggling with mental health issues at some point in the last year."
Ginny stared at Cho, then she realised that she had been staring for a long time, so she stood up and walked over to the window and looked out. Her eyes lost perspective and her mind went very far away. She had known, of course she had known that George was grieving, struggling, but she had never thought about it in terms of mental health problems. And if Cho's mental ill health had caused her to consider self-harm and suicide, then what was George living with? She began to panic.
She remembered telling Cho that the Weasley family were like a little army, well she wanted to raise that army right now! She wanted to dash to London, to Diagon Alley and save him, to rescue him from any pain and upset, to let him know that he was not alone, that he was loved. The moment she felt Cho's arms come around her waist from behind, a terrible wail escaped her throat and she broke down totally, she didn't even have the presence of mind to try to repress or minimise the ugly side of unrestrained crying.
She cried for fifteen minutes and Cho held her wordlessly, letting Ginny know that she was not afraid of difficulty, that she was present and she cared. Eventually Ginny peeled herself away, she went to the bathroom, relieved herself, washed her hands and face and took a number of deep fortifying breaths. She took her hair out of its practical ponytail, raked her finger nails through it and shook it out, wishing she could hide her puffy red ringed eyes but she shrugged, accepting the inevitable.
She went back out and smiled rather ruefully at Cho, she faced her directly, refusing to hide,
"Sorry, I just got a shock, just the thought of George… Well, you know,"
"There is no need for you to apologise, Ginny," said Cho taking her hand, "It's probably not worth it, but how else do I get to see those baby blues?" Ginny shook her head at that lame joke.
"How are you?" asked Cho, returning to a more sincere approach.
"I still feel quite upset," Ginny shrugged, feeling unusually empty of words.
"Would you like me to apologise?" Cho offered.
"Do you need to?"
"I don't think I said anything wrong, exactly, but clearly what I have said has been upsetting,"
"No, Cho, you haven't said anything wrong. The upset is real, its present, it's going to rear its ugly head. My first response to your suggestion to contact George was to beg you not to do it, but I just said it myself - the pain is already there. If he can and if his experience can help someone..." she shrugged yet again.
"Thank you. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for being courageous."
Ginny rested her head on Cho's shoulder, that was as big a cry as Ginny has had, probably since Fred's funeral, it was going to take a while to recover.
Several days later Ginny was almost back to her usual buoyant self, the more Ginny thought about it, the more brilliant she thought Cho's idea was. She accompanied Cho who was wanting to ask Hermione her opinion as well. She began with a vague, widearching story but seeing Hermione's confusion, she quickly realised that she would need to give Hermione the whole story; from Cedric Diggory, grief, drop in school work and Quidditch, depression, anxiety, bullying, preoccupation with self harm and suicide and having been removed from the school by her worried mother.
Hermione was amazed! Not much got by Hermione and she was scanning her memories for signs and signals but she remembered that the period in question was particularly fraught for everybody, with the return of Lord Voldemort and Harry having only just escaped with his own life. She listened closely to Cho's story and demonstrated her capacity for empathy and understanding.
Her immediate response was that it was a great opportunity to get such a message out into the public eye, she whipped out her quill and parchment and began making lists. Cho raised an eyebrow at Ginny who grinned energetically, if anything was worth doing, it was worth asking Hermione!
Hermione suggested that Cho not only ask her therapist's thoughts about Cho taking on such a project, but also to ask for guidance to ensure the message was comprehensive. It would be a lost opportunity indeed to realise, once the article was in print, that she had missed referencing a crucial issue. Then Hermione suggested that Cho discuss it with the Headmaster, just to give her a heads up and to give her the opportunity to protect Hogwarts from any unanticipated blowback.
The highly logical, intellectual individual that is Hermione Granger then mentioned that she also thought that the timing of such an article was of great significance but had not yet completed the calculations of all the various variables that may contribute to or detract from the overall desired effect. She looked as though she was actually attempting to do such mental arithmetic, she leaned back and stared off, apparently thinking very hard.
Taking advantage of the moment, Cho took Ginny's hand under the table, the lovers looked at each other affectionately, something they tried to refrain from doing in front of others lest Hermione felt uncomfortable or unwelcome, or in case it diminished their position as Prefects. It didn't last long however, "I need more information," Hermione said simply, "Keep me updated with the responses of your therapist, Headmaster McGonagall and George." Cho nodded, and promised she would.
That evening Cho began composing a letter to George Weasley, it was a delicate matter she realised. She opened with a brief and general catch up, a mention that she had failed to graduate and was therefore back at Hogwarts for her final year. She congratulated him on his and Fred's success with their store and made reference to their schoolyard pranks over the years, followed by an acknowledgement and condolence regarding the death of Fred.
Cho, once again, gave an account of the most painful period of her life, after which she had to stop writing, she crawled into her warm bed and allowed herself to take comfort and repose in a deep dreamless sleep. It took a couple of days before she returned to the letter, she mentioned her recovery, her current success, he may have seen the article? She was considering using her moment of popularity to draw attention to the issue, in an effort to reduce the stigma around mental health and to provide hope for recovery.
Then she got to the point of her contact with him. She felt sure, in the wake of the death of Fred, that George would be able to understand her journey and might like to use his own success and high profile to join her and share his struggle with grief, to help lend hope to some unknown young person who might be struggling. She sent it off immediately, before she could change her mind.
Cho then accessed her mobile phone and sent her therapist a text to request an additional telephone appointment - all this thought and discussion had disturbed her emotional equilibrium and she felt the need to access her support system. She decided to spend the day reading a novel by the fire in the Ravenclaw Common Room, chatting with her fellow students, relaxing in the easy and pleasant atmosphere as a bit of a tonic to her upset.
Cho wrote a note to Ginny explaining her decision so to avoid any miscommunication, and she asked a House Elf to deliver it, she didn't want Ginny to worry she was ill, distressed or cross with her for any reason. Ginny received the note and was grateful for Cho's thoughtfulness, she accepted Cho's need for a 'down day', and decided to give her girlfriend what she apparently needed - some time alone. Ginny stood up and asked her Quidditch team if they felt like going down to the pitch for a recreational fly. Of course they did!