Hey guys I decided to do a Celtic Simpsons Fanfiction. Enjoy!
You can't keep a good Celt Down
In the fields of Britannia, 54 B.C, the Simpsons were having a walk.
Homer, wearing a pair of checked trousers.
Bart, wearing the exact same, but in a far, far smaller size.
"Hey!" Said Homer to the narrator.
Marge and Lisa, wearing dresses, and Maggie, wrapped in linen.
"Ah! It's such a good day to walk in the Fields of Britannia!" Said Marge, cheerfully.
She certainly did not see Barney, in a drunken stupor, tripping and falling into a bog, and sinking in.
...
In the city of Rome, of around the same time, the Mad Emperor Burns was scheming.
"Smitherius, we have conquered much! However, I grow bored. Is there anywhere that needs invading?" He asked his faithful lackey.
"Well, Sir, there is a place somewhere off the coast of Gaul called 'Britannia'." Smitherius replied.
"Well then, we shall invade at once! How soon can we?"
"Tomorrow, Sir."
"Excellent..."
...
The Simpsons were eating breakfast.
"Yum! Wheat stew!" Said Bart, gobbling it down.
"Huh... Wheat stew..." Sighed Lisa.
"Don't be ungrateful, Lisa!" Marge chided.
Homer came in. "Bart, Milhouse is here!" He said.
"Hey, Guys!" Said Milhouse. "Lisa, wanna see something I got?" He asked. Lisa came over curiously. Homer and Marge snickered.
Milhouse grabbed Lisa's wrist, and Homer wrapped some cord around their wrists.
"Hah! I got you engaged!" Said Homer, triumphantly.
"WHAT!?" Lisa was furious.
"Thanks Homer!" Said Milhouse.
"Your welcome!" Grinned the Idiot.
"Hey, so Lisa's gonna move out!?" Asked Bart.
"Yep!" Said Marge, smiling.
"Yahoo! Three cheers for Milhouse!"
"No time for that, Bart! I got to get to my job as the Chief's right hand!" Said Homer, grabbing his shield, sword and scabbard.
"Good luck Homie!" Said Marge.
Lisa went to her room, and got to her scrolls.
"Good thing that Greek came round last year." Said Lisa, as she went through one about the Roman Gods.
...
Homer arrived at Chief Quimby's Hut.
"I'm here, Boss!" He said, Cheerfully.
"Hey, Homer. Did you get your daughter engaged?" Quimby asked Slyly.
"Indeed I did! Things can only get better!"
Suddenly, Cletus the local farmer came in.
"Hey y'all! It's them Romans!"
"The ROMANS!?" Gasped the Chief and His deputy.
They rushed to the entrance, where a crowd had gathered.
A troop of Romans marched up, and stopped in front of the Village.
Homer pointed. "HA-HA! YOU'RE WEARING SKIRTS!" He mocked.
The Romans glared at Him.
"No need for that!" The Roman General came forward.
"I'm General Wiggumus, and This Village and half it's goods are ours!"
"And what if we um, er, don't?" Asked Quimby.
Wiggumus raised an Arm, and Romans at the Back of the troop fired their arrows, killing Half the Village.
"Oh, um, er, we will, um, er, comply with your terms." Said Quimby.
"WHAT!?" Yelled Homer, grasping Quimby by the neck. "Why you traitor! I'll-" He began, strangling his Boss.
"Hold it right there, pal!" Said Wiggumus,
Reluctantly, Homer let go.
"I won't stand for this! Who's with me!?" Homer roared, drawing his sword and Shield.
Half of the Half of the Village left alive also drew their swords, or picked up sticks and stones.
"CHAAAARRGE!" Yelled Homer, and his half of the Village charged.
Unfortunately, they saw a Roman animal that had been brought with them.
"What is that?" Asked Homer, pointing to it.
"It's a cat." Wiggumus explained.
"Awwwww... what a good- OOOOWWW!" Screamed Homer, as the Cat jumped up and clawed at his face.
"AAAH! RETREAT! THEY HAVE DEADLY, IF ADORABLE BEASTS!" Screamed Homer, pulling the cat off and throwing it to the Romans, running away.
...
They set up camp not too far away. The men had taken their families with them, of course.
Lisa came up. "Dad, maybe we should work with them."
"Lisa, daddy's got it all under control." Said Homer.
He turned to his troops. "EVERYONE! THIS IS JUST A MINOR SETBACK! BY THE END OF THE YEAR WE WILL HAVE DRIVEN THOSE ROMAN JERKS OUT!" He announced.
Lisa sighed. Marge came up. "Bart, I found these carrots for you." He handed Bart some carrots.
"And Lisa, I got some weird Mushrooms."
"Mom, don't you think-" Began Lisa.
"Don't argue with me, sweetie."
Lisa sighed, eating them.
She then groaned. "Mom, I have a headache."
"Don't worry, Sweetie! You'll be fine in the morning!" Marge told her, as she laid down to sleep
Lisa tried to go to sleep, but she couldn't.
Something in her brain was taking place...
And it was all Marge's fault.
...
The next day, Homer's team went up against the Celts, and won.
It was long and fierce, but they did it, and after that they went up to Quimby.
"Now, um, er, let's not be too hasty."
"I don't even know what that means!" Yelled Homer, before slicing his ex-boss's head off.
He made another speech. "They may take our wives and our children, but they will never take our Land or freedom!" He yelled.
Marge came up. "Homer! Lisa's gone!"
...
Wiggumus was getting on a boat, to report to the Emperor, He didn't notice a small, cloaked figure hide in one of the barrels.
...
In Rome, he kneeled in front of the Emperor.
"I- I'm sorry Boss, but I don't know what to do!"
"Bah! It'll take a miracle to defeat those Celtic fools!"
"Here's one." A small, cloaked figure came up.
She lowered her hood. "I am Lisa of the Simpsons Clan, daughter of Homer, the leader of the Rebels. I have come to make an offer."
Burns put his fingers together. "I'm listening."
Lisa's eyes were red, and she had a deranged look on her face.
"I know what to do. I have a plan. But here are my terms. I want to become a Roman Citizen, be taught every bit of knowledge you have, and have equal rights."
Burns spluttered. "But you're a woman! You can't have equal rights, it's against the law!"
"You can make an exception for me. After all, YOU'RE the Emperor!" Lisa replied.
"Hmmm, good point. So, what is your plan?" Asked Burns.
Lisa told him. It was brilliant.
...
Homer put his Blue War Paint on, making Bull shapes.
Fun fact Homer is a Taurus.
Marge came up. "Do you think those Romans kidnapped Lisa?"
"Yes! To be their slave! No-one makes my daughter marry anyone she doesn't want to but ME!" Announced Homer, thumping his chest.
Suddenly, there was a horn blown.
"The Romans are here!" Yelled Homer.
He and his troops rushed to face them, and stopped.
Each and every Roman soldiers was carrying food and drink.
"Hey, here's a peace offering." Said Wiggumus.
"Thanks!" Said Homer, as the food was snatched from the Romans.
Every Celt munched... and fell asleep.
"Hehehehehe! That drugged food worked a treat!" Chuckled Wiggum.
...
Homer Woke up.
He and the Villagers were in a field, trussed up like turkeys.
"DO'H!" He Shouted, as Wiggumus, Burns, and Lisa came up.
"Lisa! Help me!" Homer Cried.
"Well, mom made me eat some weird mushrooms a few days ago... and I went completely CR-A-A-A-A-AZY!" Said Lisa.
Marge gulped. "Sorry guys!"
"Now I'm a Roman!" Said Lisa, throwing off her cloak to reveal a Roman Dress.
"Okay, but before you kill us, can our Druid, Frink, Say some words?"
Frink was untied.
"Aren't Druids magicians, with the power to travel through time?" Asked Wiggumus.
"I've never seen it." Replied Lisa.
Frink said an incantation, and a a wall of blue fire surrounded the captive celts.
One by one, they disappeared with a blip.
"Do'h!" Wiggumus, Burns, and Lisa all cried.
"On the bright side, there's no-one left to stand in our way" Said Lisa.
The Romans advanced.
...
The Celts reappeared in a strange place, behind a house, near a tree.
Someone who looked exactly like Homer came out, wearing strange clothes.
"DO'H!" He Yelled.