This chapter's a litte shorter than usual, there's a biggish time jump in this chapter, and there'll be another (smaller) time jump at the start of the next chapter too so I didn't want to make things confusing with two time jumps in one chapter. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me too long to finish!
Shelby was surprised by how quickly the months seemed to pass, the days seemed to merge into one, an endless circle of dirty diapers, feedings and sleepless nights interspersed with more snuggles than Shelby thought she'd had in the past 20 years of her life combined.
As she found her feet as a mother and became more confident about Rachel being out of the house for longer periods of time, Shelby found a lot of Mom and baby groups that she took Rachel to. Together they enjoyed story time at the library, swimming classes and even a music group that both Rachel and Shelby loved, Rachel enjoying both the activities and the attention she got and Shelby enjoying that, even if just for an hour or two, she got to spend time around other adults and have a conversation that wasn't mostly with herself.
It wasn't all fun for the pair though, a chest infection put Rachel in hospital for almost three weeks, the girl's tiny body not strong enough to fight the infection on its own. The experience of once again seeing her tiny baby in intensive care broke Shelby's heart, even if this time it was only for a few days before she was moved onto a normal ward. The hospital stay was enough to put Shelby back on edge about taking her daughter out of their home again, but, once she was sure Rachel was fully recovered, she forced herself to get back into their routine, she couldn't keep Rachel in a bubble for the rest of her life and she didn't want Rachel to pick up on her own insecurities as she grew up.
Shelby had been surprised, although she wasn't sure why, when, less than an hour after texting her brother and dad to let them know Rachel was in hospital, they'd both turned up to give her their support. The two men had made sure that Shelby knew she didn't have to struggle on her own, that she was allowed to be scared, she was allowed to be worried about her daughter, she was allowed to be human. They'd spent as much time as they could by Shelby's side and even took it in turns to sit with Rachel overnight every few days, insisting that Shelby went home to shower and sleep in her own bed as they sat with the sick infant.
Shelby found that her relationship with her father and her brother had only become stronger since she'd had Rachel, Shelby grateful that her dad didn't try to push her into 'fixing' her relationship with her mother. Shelby still hadn't spoken to her the woman, was still waiting for an apology that she knew would never come. She was surprised by how unbothered she was by this though. She knew that her father and her brother loved her and would support her and Rachel no matter what, and there'd be none of the interference or the judgement she'd get from her mother, and as much as she wished things were different, that Rachel had a grandmother, that she had a Mom who loved and supported her, she knew it was better to have a small circle of people who'd love and support her and her daughter.
Almost before they knew it, Rachel's first birthday had arrived and Shelby couldn't hold back her smile as she settled Rachel into bed the night before her birthday, heading back downstairs once she was sure the girl was settled so she could hang some banners in the living room along with a few balloons. She didn't make a big fuss though, she wanted to celebrate Rachel's birthday, but she planned to have a bigger celebration on the anniversary of the day she brought Rachel home from the hospital.
Shelby and Rachel spent the morning of Rachel's first birthday doing what they both loved most, snuggling together skin to skin. Once Rachel got restless they went downstairs, sharing a bowl of cereal for breakfast and spending a while playing with the balloons and opening the few gifts Shelby had bought her daughter. Their afternoon had consisted of their weekly music class, where Happy Birthday had been sung to the bewildered infant, and then they'd visited the park on their way home, Rachel's love for the swingset seeming to grow as she got older and Shelby knew she could never get enough of the smile on her baby's face as she slowly rocked back and forth with the girl on her lap.
She threw a small birthday party the weekend after Rachel's birthday, only inviting her Dad and her brother, sister in law and nephew. Whilst Shelby loved that Rachel got to socialise with other children at all the groups they went to, she wasn't sure she wanted a whole bunch of toddlers running riot in her home, and she didn't know how Rachel would react to a big party, so for now, Shelby was fine with keeping the celebration small.
Rachel surprised everyone at her birthday party, Shelby had kept quiet about the fact the girl had first attempted a clumsy crawl just two weeks before her first birthday, and Rachel was only too happy to show off her new skill to everyone. Shelby's nephew was overjoyed that his cousin could now crawl around with him and he spent most of the afternoon crawling around the living room with Rachel, Rachel giggling happily as she followed him.
"She's doing well" Shelby's dad smiled, putting his hand on his daughter's back as they watched Rachel laugh and clumsily clap her hands together as she knocked down the tower of blocks that Jake had just built up.
"She is" Shelby smiled, wiping away a tear as she told her Dad, "I can't believe that this time last year I didn't think she'd ever be here with me"
"Oh Shelby" the man pulled his daughter into a hug, assuming she was referring to the girl's premature birth, Shelby still keeping the story about the surrogacy to herself. "She's tough, like her Momma. And take it from me, she is like you, and you're going to have your hands full when she hits her teens."
"I don't doubt it" Shelby laughed as she wiped at her eyes, "but trouble or not, I think I'll still be grateful that she's here. I'm so lucky to have her."
He hugged her again, "and she's lucky to have you Shelby, don't ever doubt that."
Rachel crawled over to Shelby a while later, sitting back on her heels and holding out her arms as she gurgled and babbled up at her Momma. "Hello noisy" she smiled as she lifted her daughter into her arms, "I know, you've been playing with Jake haven't you?" she replied as if she understood every noise her daughter made. "Oh" Shelby tapped Rachel's nose gently as the baby yawned, "is it time for your birthday cake? And then a nap hmm?" She kissed Rachel's head as Rachel nuzzled into her, reaching into Shelby's shirt, tiny fingers curling around her bra strap, something that she'd noticed her daughter doing a lot when she was tired and unable to get skin contact with her mother, "you really are ready for a nap aren't you" she smiled.
Daniel didn't need to be asked, he was only too happy to take pictures of his sister and niece as their Dad brought Rachel's cake out, the birthday girl sat on her Momma's knee at the table, and, despite Rachel's usual reluctance to try any new foods, she was more than happy to lick the pink frosting from her tiny fingers after sticking her hand into the cake.
The baby was asleep in Shelby's arms as she said goodbye to her family, a pink handprint on Shelby's top, sticky fingers once again curled around her bra strap, "come on you" Shelby kissed her dark hair once everyone had left, "let's get you cleaned up." She carried Rachel upstairs, heading to her own room and laying Rachel down in the middle of the bed, pulling off her own top and changing her bra for one not covered in frosting before she went to fetch a damp wash cloth to clean up her daughter, silently congratulating herself when she managed to remove all the frosting without waking the girl.
She kicked off her jeans once she was done and slipped into bed in just her underwear, stripping Rachel down to her diaper and settling the baby on her chest. "you're tiny now, but I bet it won't be long until you're too big to do this" she whispered as she kissed Rachel's forehead, "so I'm going to make the most of every minute while I can."
Shelby had planned on napping with her daughter but instead found herself stroking her fingertips up and down the girl's back as she watched her sleep, taking every inch of her face, from her long dark eyelashes to her plump, full lips, parted slightly in sleep, "we've made it" she whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears, "I know it hasn't been easy for either of us, but it's been a year and I, well, we're doing okay aren't we kid? I know I'm happy and I really hope you are too." She kissed the crown of Rachel's head, smiling as Rachel nuzzled against her chest, "one year down, a lifetime more to go".