As much as I love the little family Shelby, Will and Rachel are becoming, I sort of missed Rachel and Shelby being on their own, but I think this chapter makes up for that!
Savageverse- I don't know what you mean by 'Its weel be off not gone off' but I used the search function on the fic and found no instances of the phrase 'gone off' in this fic. And the Mum/Mom thing is something I am incredibly conscious of as I'm writing, and again, I used the search function on the entire story to find where I'd slipped up and again, found zero instances of the word 'mum', so thanks but I'm already aware of that.
Gwennie49 - I'm glad it's not just me, and I don't even get to do things I want to do because someone else gets in first. I walked into the living room the other day to find my Gran had pulled all the wallpaper off because she wanted me to deorate the room for her! And thank you for your support, as much as I might like to given the current state of things, I can't change my nationality, I write how I write, if someone pointed out something big then I'd take that into account but just telling me not to write in my native language isn't really helpful!
"Does your Dad really think we're going to have sex while Rachel isn't here?" Will asked as he sat on the couch with Shelby, the woman tucked into his side, her legs draped over his as they shared soft kisses.
Shelby shrugged, "probably."
"We could…"
"No" Shelby shook her head, quickly explaining herself when she saw Will's face fall, "it'll be your first time" she told him, gently cupping his cheek with her palm, "I want your first time to be special, I don't want it to be something we do just because my Dad's taken Rachel out for an hour or two."
"If it's with you then it will be special" Will told her.
Shelby smiled and tipped her head to kiss Will again, "Charmer" she teased, "but let's do it because we want to, because we're ready, not because we've got a few hours to ourselves. There are plenty of other things we can do instead."
"Hypothetically" Will slipped his hand under Shelby's shirt to rest in the small of her back, "if I told you I was ready, what would you say?"
Shelby chuckled, "I'd tell you I went to planned parenthood last week" she saw Will frown, not understanding the relevance, "to talk about birth control, with Rachel and everything else I'm not sure I trust myself to remember to take a pill every morning. We talked about my options and I got a shot. It lasts for three months, so I'd tell you that, when you're ready, so am I."
"I erm, I bought condoms" Will blushed slightly.
"Well then" Shelby stole another kiss, "we're all set. There's no rush for this Will, I'm not going anywhere."
Will had gone home by the time Shelby's dad brought Rachel back, neither adult surprised that Rachel almost flung herself into her Momma's arms as soon as she saw her. "Hey Kid" she smiled, balancing Rachel on her hip as she took off her jacket, thanking her dad as he took off Rachel's shoes, "have you had a good time with Pop-pop?"
Rachel babbled quietly, "someone fell asleep before we'd made it to the end of the street" Shelby's dad chuckled, "so Pop-pop got coffee from the drive thru and sat in the parking lot at Starbucks for nearly an hour."
"You should have brought her back here Dad, you didn't have to do that."
Jerry waved his hand dismissively, "it's fine, and anyway, we met Uncle Dan, Auntie Katie and Jake at the park when you woke didn't we?" he reached out to tickle Rachel's stomach.
"Are you coming through?" Shelby gestured to the living room, making her way over to the couch when her Dad nodded. Shelby wasn't at all surprised when her attempt to sit Rachel on the floor by her toys was met with a whine so she settled down with the baby on her lap. "So…" Shelby looked to her dad.
"So?"
"So, I know you're going to have questions."
"Just one" Jerry said honestly, "is he good to you? To both of you?"
"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "he is, he turned up today with that" she gestured to the ball pool, "we took her to the play place last weekend, you know the place Jake had his birthday party?" Jerry nodded, "Rachel loved the ball pool and he said he saw that at Walmart and thought she'd like it. We met at college, he kept asking me if I wanted to get coffee after class, I kept turning him down and eventually I told him about Rachel, said I wasn't what he wanted. He told me he'd known about her for a while and it didn't bother him. That if I wanted, it could just be two friends having coffee."
"And Rachel likes him?"
Shelby nodded, "she has her moments, but she's like that with everyone, she has times when I'm the only person she wants. He… He came round one night, not long after we'd decided that we could maybe be more than friends, he wanted to take us both out for dinner but I said Rachel didn't settle if she got out of her routine and invited him round here instead, said I'd cook for us. I didn't realise at the time but daycare had given Rachel dairy. She was screaming nonstop, when I answered the door I was close to tears and he, he just walked in and asked what I needed him to do. He ordered pizza so I didn't have to cook, and when I realised what was wrong and gave Rachel her medication, when she'd calmed down he even sat with her so I could shower. "
Jerry smiled and gently squeezed Shelby's arm, "sounds like you've got a keeper there love."
Shelby smiled and nodded, "yeah, I hope so."
Jerry didn't stay for much longer, he knew Rachel got clingy when she'd been away from Shelby for a while and he wanted to give the two of them some time together before Shelby put Rachel to bed. Shelby took Rachel into the kitchen to make a start on dinner after seeing her father out, she was expecting the whine and the cry as she put Rachel into her highchair, although the girl was getting better about spending time away from her Mom, she was always clingy for a little while when they were reunited. "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere" she reassured her as she fastened the straps to secure her into the chair, "I'm just making dinner, I'll be right here."
She was half expecting the shriek and the sound of Rachel's hands smacking against the tray of the highchair as she turned away from her, but she wasn't expecting what came next, would never have predicted the next sound that fell from her daughter's lips, a very clear, firm, "no!"
Shelby froze, turning on her heel to face her daughter, "did you just…" she shook her head, "she's your daughter" she mumbled to herself, "of course that was her first word." She quickly scooped Rachel into her arms, "you definitely know what you want don't you kid?" she chuckled as Rachel nuzzled into her, "can you say it again? No. No?" Rachel babbled and began chewing on her fingers, "no, of course you won't say it just because I want you to you stubborn little thing" Shelby chuckled, "come on, let's find something we can have for dinner."
Shelby found leftovers in the refrigerator that she managed to put in the microwave with one hand, allowing her to keep hold of Rachel even though she was half tempted to put her back in her highchair to see if it would make her speak again.
Once they'd eaten, Shelby went upstairs, she and Rachel often took a bath together when the girl was being clingy and she decided that that was a good plan today, they could bathe togeter and then, although it was still early, they could get in bed and snuggle for a while, Rachel wanted her Momma and Shelby would never say no to having some quiet time with her baby.
She turned on the water and added some bubbles before carrying Rachel through to her bedroom and sitting her on the bed, "It's okay" she cooed when, predictably, Rachel began to whine, "I'm going to stay right here" she said, continuing to talk to her daughter as she undressed, "see, I didn't go anywhere" she dipped her head to rub noses with Rachel, "now let's get you undressed and grab some towels."
Rachel giggled excitedly as she sat on Shelby's knees amongst the bubbles, one hand clutching her Mommy's fingers, the other free to grab at the bubbles and reach for the toys Shelby had thrown into the water. "What have you got?" Shelby asked, gently bouncing her knees, "have you got your duck?" She knew that talking to Rachel would help with the baby's own language development, and it was something she'd done as often as she could, even when Rachel was just a tiny little thing covered in a mass of tubes and wires, she'd always spoken to her, about anything and everything.
They stayed in the bath until the water began to cool, Shelby quickly washing them both before wrapping them up in the towel she'd left warming on the radiator. "I know" she began to dry Rachel off, "I know Pop-pop took you out this afternoon but you're home now, I just need to dry you and put a diaper on you and then we can snuggle, I promise."
It didn't take long for Shelby to tape a diaper onto the wriggling girl and she chuckled as, once Shelby let her go, Rachel crawled up the bed to sit against the pillows, looking expectantly at her Mommy. "Is that better?" Shelby asked as she got into bed once she'd pulled on some underwear, "is this what you want?" Shelby sat up in bed, Rachel sat on her lap, chest to chest with her, mumbling quietly to herself. "What are you trying to tell me hey?" Shelby asked as she gently rubbed Rachel's back, "what's going on in that big brain of yours?"
Rachel looked up at Shelby inquisitively before laying her head back on her Mommy's chest, her hand splashing out across the top of Shelby's breast, tiny fingers gently stroking her skin. "Oh baby" Shelby kissed the top of Rachel's head, unable to believe how much love she felt for the girl in her arms. Rachel nuzzled against her and Shelby tightened her hold slightly, "y'know" she whispered as she gently ran her hand down Rachel's back, "whenever you want to lay on me like this, it always makes me think of the first time I got to hold you. Having you in my arms, feeling your skin against mine, it made it all so real. It was like something clicked inside me and made me realise that you were mine. You were so, so tiny, you were still attached to so many machines and I was absolutely terrified that I'd hurt you just by holding you. But you were stronger than I knew. You've always been so strong, so brave. You've been through so much but you kept fighting, whenever I thought you were done you just kept going and I'm so glad you did" she kissed the top of Rachel's head, "it might not be exactly how I imagined my life going but I'm so glad that I got you, that I get to be your Mommy and, I promise, no matter whatever happens in the future, whatever might be ahead of you, I'm going to be right there Kid, I'd give up everything for you."
They sat in near silence for a while, Rachel gurgling quietly to herself before she tipped her head back and grinned up at Shelby. "Oh Kid" Shelby laughed and wiped at her eyes before dropping her head and rubbing noses with her daughter, smiling when Rachel reached out to rest her hand on Shelby's cheek, "I don't know if you understand what I'm saying to you, but I love you" she told her, "I love you so much more than I ever thought it possible to love another person."
Rachel stayed nuzzled into Shelby for a while before she began to fidget, wriggling for a moment before kneeling on the bed between Shelby's legs, reaching out to cling to Shelby's hands as she slowly pulled herself to her feet, "careful" Shelby warned, "the bed isn't as solid as the floor." Rachel giggled as she bent and straightened her knees a few times, "oh, I see, you want to bounce do you?" Shelby chuckled, gently moving her hold from Rachel's hands to her waist, helping her bounce on the bed, unable to hold back her smile at the sound of Rachel's laughter, "start walking and I'll buy you a trampoline" she bargained, getting another giggle in response, "no, you're right kid, you just take your time, do it when you're ready."
With Shelby's hands on her waist, Rachel bounced on the bed, giggling and laughing happily until she decided she'd had enough and threw herself back into Shelby's arms, chewing on her fingers as she gazed up at her Mommy. "All done?" Shelby asked, getting a smile and a happy babble in response, "It's almost your bedtime kid, and you're all excited now aren't you?" She kissed Rachel's head and held the girl close, "I know what will make you sleepy, come on" she stood with Rachel in her arms, chuckling to herself when Rachel began to whine as Shelby reached into the crib. Rachel barely slept in there, most nights Shelby put her in her crib for a while when she first put her to bed, but she'd always move Rachel in with her when she went to bed. Not only did Rachel seem more settled if she slept with her Mommy, but it was much easier to feed Rachel, or let her nurse for comfort when she was being fussy, if the girl was laying right beside her. "I'm not putting you in there" Shelby reassured her, "I'm just getting a blanket and your paci so we can go cuddle for a bit. I'm going to go to bed when you do tonight" she said as she grabbed what she wanted from Rachel's crib and carried the girl into the nursery.
Rachel had yet to sleep in her own room, Shelby much preferring having her daughter close by, but she did frequently use the changing unit under the window and both she and Rachel loved the glider in the corner of the room. "Here we go" Shelby sat down, adjusting her bra to let Rachel feed before tucking the blanket around them both and beginning to rock on the comfy chair.
She hummed for a little while before quietly beginning to sing to her daughter, "Two pounds and 4 ounces looking up at me, like I have all the answers, I hope I have the ones you need. I've never really done this, now I know what scared is" Shelby didn't ever think she'd forget how terrified she was when she realised that the two men she'd meant to be a surrogate for were walking away from their child. That there was now a sick baby fighting for her life and relying on Shelby for everything.
"Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong, other times I'll let you just find out on your own. But that's when you'll be growing, and the whole time I'll be knowing" Rachel pulled away from Shelby's breast and yawned, Shelby smiling as she wiped milk from the corner of her daughter's mouth before offering her the pacifier, holding it in place until Rachel began to suck at it, the baby tugging at her ear, a sure sign that she was getting tired and Shelby kissed her hair, still rocking gently as she continued to sing. "You're gonna fly with every dream you chase, you're gonna cry, but know that that's okay. Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there you're gonna see that sometimes bad is good, we just have to believe things work out like they should. Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me you're gonna be."
"Sweet dreams Kid" Shelby whispered as Rachel's eyes fluttered shut, but Shelby didn't stop. She'd learnt her lesson the hard way when Rachel was younger, moving now would definitely wake Rachel, and if Rachel woke she'd be grumpy and cranky and even harder to settle, so Shelby continued to rock back and forth in the chair as she sang to the sleeping infant, "I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes. Lord knows I'll be trying, oh to give you what it takes. What it takes to know the difference between getting by and living 'cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way. Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make, so make sure you're always giving way more than you're taking..."
Shelby stayed in the nursery until she was sure Rachel wouldn't wake when she stood up, and she carefully carried her back to her bedroom, flicking off all but a small side light and curling up under the covers with her baby. It wasn't even 8pm but Shelby didn't mind, she considered 10pm a late night now, this certainly wasn't the first time she'd gone to bed when Rachel did and she was sure it wouldn't be the last time. She kissed Rachel's head a final time, whispering her love for her daughter again before she let her own eyes close and quickly joined her daughter in dreamland.
Lyrics in italics are from 'You're Gonna Be' by Reba McEntire