I once believed love would be (black and white)
As darkness fell the house grew cold, the cracked window letting in the heavy rain. Despite the raging storm, the house lay quiet off in this distance the mother could be heard crying out for the fairies. The children of the house, however, could be found underneath the kitchen table huddled together in their mismatched winter coats. The baby girl just shy of one wrapped up in her brothers blanket, her red nose and cheeks heating with a fever, that wouldn't break.
The door slamming shut makes the younger of the two boys jump, huddling closer to his brother as they press themselves into the wall hoping they won't be noticed, the older boy cradling the baby closer to him in an attempt to muffle her cries.
"Where are you all?... Hmm, where is everyone?" They can smell him first, the faint smell of cigarettes and booze before his muddy boots appear next to the table, stumbling around as he pulls a beer from the fridge.
The faints calls of their mother could just be heard over the rain as he stormed the kitchen. "What the hell is she doing?" He snapped, stumbling towards the backdoor, his fist already bloodied from an earlier fight.
"Wait…" The eldest speaks first, passing off the baby girl to the younger one, as he shuffles out from under the table, his hands trembling as he races across the kitchen to stop the man in his tracks. "Just leave her alone…"
"What did you say to me?" In the time it takes lightning to flash, he's pressed up against the wall, the older guy's elbow pressed into his chest knocking the air from his lungs as he struggles against him. "You don't get to tell me what to do in my own house...you hear me boy...this is my house."
He spits his words as he releases the boy to the ground, cracking one of his fingers back in a painful reminder of who is in charge here. "You'll do good to remember that." He growls, the alcohol evident on his breath as he storms out of the room.
"Are you okay?" It's a faint whisper, little eyes peering out from under the table. The elder boy takes a few deep breaths, his face burning with humiliation as the tears he tries so hard to hide begin to fall, nodding at the little one he forces a fake smile, as he stares down at the broken fingers snapping them back into place with one painful push, a practice that has become second hand to him.
"I'm good." He nods, slowly getting up from his collapsed state on the floor, "You stay here okay...you keep that cold towel on her head and I'll be right back." He whispers crouching down in front of the younger boy and baby.
"What if he comes back?" The younger boy's voice trembles as he eyes the doorway cautiously, his hands turning white from where he grips the now sleeping baby in his arms.
"He won't...you're safe here...I'd never let him do anything to you guys okay?" The older one mumbles, not believing the words he's saying as he stands, heading towards the back door.
He feels the cold rain splash against his face as he heads out towards the street, he finds her two houses down, spinning in circles in a summer dress that was hardly appropriate for this weather. She's squealing in delight with each turn, muttering a conversation with the nonexistent fairies she is so fond of, her blonde hair clinging to her face as the rain pounds down onto her.
"Mom?" He hesitates a few steps away from her, unsure of her mood. "Mom…" He speaks louder this time, hoping to snap her out of her current delusion. Watching as she jumps, turning to face him. He thinks she doesn't recognise him for a moment, as she cocks her head to the side, but suddenly a huge grin spreads across her face. "My baby boy...you came…"
"Yeah..I'm here mom...I'm gonna take you home now okay?" He wraps an arm around her, speaking gently as he tries to usher her back towards the house before her husband has a chance too. "Come with me, mom."
"Okay, sweet boy…" She hums happily, her bare feet squishing into the mud as she takes slow steps back towards the house. "My sweet Alex...you're so good at looking after us…"
But it's golden
He wakes with a start, the storm making the windows rattle as he hears faint cries echo out from the bedside crib. Beside him the sheets rustled, her sleepy voice muffled from where she was nestled against his neck. "Mhmm, I'll get her…"
She rolls out of his grip but his hand wraps around her arm pulling her back down to the pillows gently. "No...I'm up anyway I'll get her...you sleep." He whispers, stroking a hand down her back as he speaks.
"Are you sure?" She mumbles, stretching sleepily already pressing herself back into the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as she lifts the covers higher to stop the warmth escaping.
"Yeah, you pumped right? There's a bottle in the fridge?" He asks rounding the bed to crib beside her side of the bed. Nodding as his wife mumbled a yes into her pillow while he lifts the crying infant into his arms.
Instantly bouncing the little one, shushing her softly as he cradled her head with one hand. "It's okay baby...it's okay Daddy's here…" a soft smile playing on his face, her cries began to soften instantly, heading out of the room he continues to whisper sweet nothings to his baby girl as they make their way to the kitchen.
You ask most new parents the worst part of their day and it's standing in the kitchen, waiting for a bottle to warm at 2 AM in the morning but not for Alex, those quiet moments with his daughter are what he looks forward to the most. While the rest of the world sleeps it feels like it's just his little family and everything's perfect.
He's only been a father for six weeks and yet his outlook on life has changed completely, as he stares down at his little milk drunk girl, he will never understand how some parents wouldn't move heaven and earth for their children.
How could his dad go out and get drunk every night? How could he put his hands on his wife and kids? How could he walkway from them easily without a concern in the world?
Looking down at the life in front of him, her chubby cheeks still rosy pink as she drank her milk happily, her brown eyes that matched her mommy's fluttering shut happily as she relaxed in the safety of her daddy's arms he knew he'd never understand.
For someone so tiny it was incredible how she could bring so much light and happiness with just her presence.
And I can still see it all (in my head)
Back and forth from New York (sneakin' in your bed)
I once believed love would be (burnin' red)
She tries to stay silent as she shimmies out of her dress, it's a size too small but if she mentions it, she knows it'll be another reason that she is a huge embarrassment to him. Winching as she pulled it down over her bruised ribs, blood seeping through from where his shoe had broken the skin.
"What's taking you so long darling?" His voice is sickly sweet as he enters the closet, removing his cufflinks. He smiles brightly pressing a kiss to her cheek as if he hadn't spent the last hour pressing her into the wall as he used her as his own personal punching bag.
"Nothing" her voice is shaky as she plasters on a fake smile, hating the way his hands feel as he massages her neck. "I'm just gonna clean up in the bathroom."
"Hmm" he nuzzles his nose in her neck and she tries to hold back the vomit rising in her throat, hating the way his hands slip below her waist. Pushing away from his arms lightly, she stumbles her way to the bathroom. Sighing in relief as she leans against the door.
The girl staring back at her in the mirror isn't one she recognises. Her makeup which is more than she personally likes to wear is smeared around her face, standing bare in her underwear, the blue and purple marks already spreading across her milky white skin, a painful reminder of the hell she had found herself in.
Her hands are shaking as they trace the slight curve of her stomach, her best-kept secret. Squeezing her eyes shut, she feels the warm tears trail down her face as she silently conveys her apologies to the little life inside her. The little life that will be no more tomorrow. It's not because of a lack of love or want but because as a mother this little life comes first, their safety the most important thing in the world. No, you can't stay but I'll look for your light in the sky every day.
But it's golden
She wakes a little later, a low light filtering through the door. She reaches out feeling the cool space beside her where he usually lays. Frowning she rolls over finding the bedside crib empty as well. Pushing herself up on to her elbows, she runs a hand through her messy hair, her eyes adjusting to the darkness before deciding to go on a hunt for her little family.
She finds them in the living room, he's splayed across the couch, legs hanging over the edge as he snores softly, the little bundle on his chest rising with each movement of his chest.
The warmth that fills her at the sight of the two sleeping peacefully together makes her heart flutter. Leaning down she brushes her hand over the baby's soft tufts of hair, a grin spreading across her face as she watched the little one's lips pout in her sleep. She sees him in her. His tiny twin except for her dark locks and hazel eyes. She gets it now...what she had said. What her mother had said before, not all of it of course but some of what she had said she now understands.
When she looks at the little one in front of her, seeing the parts of the man she loves so wholeheartedly staring back at her as a permanent reminder of their love is the single greatest thing in her life. She can't imagine looking down at someone who reminded her of the demons in her life, but she doesn't spend too much time wondering about it...what's the point when she has them here now.
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
(I can never look away)
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you
(Things will never be the same)
"Mhmm, you checking me out while I sleep?" His voice is husky as he speaks one hand coming up to rub the little ones back as he glances over at Jo.
"Pfft" Jo shakes her head, a wide grin on her face as she lightly pushes at his side, hoping he gets the hint to move over as she squishes down on the sofa beside him throwing her legs over his as she wraps herself around him, laying her head on his chest so she can stare down at their angel. "I'm not looking at you babe...it's this cutie that I've got eyes for."
"Yeah, I get that…" she feels him press a kiss to her head as his arm comes around, holding her closer to him. "She is pretty amazing...if I did nothing else but stare at her for the rest of my life, I'd die happy."
"You know…" Jo whispers softly, pressing a kiss to his neck as she spoke, feeling safest when she is in his arms. "I'd live through every day of my life again to be here now...every crappy thing, I'd do it all again. All the pain and all the hurt...if it leads me here to you now..." She looks up at him meeting his gaze as he stares down at her, his eyes filled with love and understanding as she speaks.
Alex chuckles softly looking between his wife and daughter marvelling at how truly lucky he was to be here now. "You know I'd take all my pain and all of yours for this one moment."
Jo lets out a watery laugh, wiping the golden tears away from under her eyes. "God these baby hormones are really something…"
Chuckling Alex presses another kiss to Jo's head as the baby in his arms begins to stir, her little face scrunching up.
"I love you."
"Mhmm, love you too... but you should probably wash you smell like a baby sick."
You gotta step into the daylight and let it go
Just let it go
Day 3 of TS X JOLEX WEEK DONE
Sorry, it is a little late but better late than never.
Thank you for all the love and the reviews.
Daylight - Taylor Swift