New chapter time! As always, I ask that you sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
"Ren!" Kaoru called out, while she hung around near the wall again. Great. Now it would be rude if she tried ignoring him…
Walking over, she saw the far too often tears every host had that day and sighed. Eyedrops, huh?
"Hey." Ren quickly made herself comfortable. If she couldn't leave with it being socially acceptable yet, she'd definitely take advantage of the extremely lavish chairs.
"Do you like our kimonos? Everything the hosts are wearing today is stuff our mother designed. If you see something you like, we can take an order for you." They said in unison, before going back to the routine.
"Our grandmother even helped us put them on!"
"But you know the only one who will be undressing you is me, Kaoru."
"Hikaru~ You're embarrassing me in front of everybody..."
Ren sighed, ignoring both the looks she was getting and the excited squeals from the customers. She watched the twins slip away, joining a conversation with Kyoya and Haruhi.
"Why even call me over here anyway…?" She mumbled to herself, before getting back up to lean against the wall. It wasn't far enough away for her to see Haruhi bump into Kaoru, causing him to drop a small bottle.
She also wasn't far enough to avoid listening in on their discussion.
"What's this."
"For your information, it's common for a host to use eye drops."
"No woman alive could resist a man on the brink of tears."
"That's cheating."
"Oh, don't be such a party pooper~!"
There was a strange twinge in her chest, seeing Hikaru put his arm around Haruhi and start poking her face. Though oddly enough, it didn't happen when Kaoru offered her a small box with a dessert inside.
Huh. Weird.
She shrugged it off, reaching for a chocolate while waiting for club activities to wrap up. Or at least, that was the plan.
"Um, hello, this is the Ouran Host Club, yes?" A seemingly meek girl who looked and sounded vaguely familiar asked.
"Yep, and the hosts are all crowding over there if you want to meet them."
The girl nodded in thanks, when the guys finally noticed her. "Looks like the host club has a brand new guest."
Kaoru offered her a plastic rose. "Come on in, what are you waiting for?"
Hikaru also offered a fake rose. "Watching from afar is no fun, please miss..."
Tamaki stepped in cutting in front of the twins. "Stop that! How many times do I have to tell you boys to be more courteous to our first time guests?" Turning to the girl, he held a hand out, presumably for her to take. "Please, you don't have to be afraid, my princess. I welcome you to the Ouran host club."
When she slapped him, Ren couldn't really blame her. They kept invading the personal space bubble. She was surprised hearing the girl call the prince phoney though.
"Wh, what do you mean I'm phoney?" Tamaki asked, covering his face whilst in tears.
"Just what I said! You're phoney! I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the 'Prince' character of this host club! You shouldn't be spreading your love around so easily like that, you stupid!" Damn, Ren could almost see the arrow of the word stupid stabbing him.
"You must be a dimwitted narcissist! You're incompetent! You're a commoner! You're disgusting!" She finished him off, the insults finally making him fall.
"He's created a new technique! One man slow motion!" The twins said in awe.
"I don't suppose you are…?" Kyoya said, before the girl teared up and shouted, "It's you, Kyoya!"
Ren got knocked back, having been standing in the crossfire between the host and the lovesick newcomer. "Owww…"
"Oh, how I've longed to meet you! My one and only prince charming…!"
"Your fiance?" Hikaru started.
"Kyoya-senpai?" Kaoru finished.
"Of course! My name is Renge Houshakuji and I'm transferring into Ouran Academy's first year class A tomorrow." Oh fuck, that was Ren's class too...
Meanwhile, Tamaki was sitting towards the wall with a dark cloud hanging over his head.
"...Why is he sulking?" Hikaru and Ren asked, at the same time and in the same tone of voice.
"Because Mommy was keeping a secret from Daddy." Kaoru answered.
"Whatever. Why does everyone insist on referring to us like we're husband and wife?" Kyoya's question was ignored, well, mostly. Ren sent a sympathetic shrug.
"Ours is a story of love at first sight!" Renge gushed, and Ren tuned her out after that.
It wasn't until Tamaki and Hikaru started shouting, "OTAKU!" and Kaoru yelled, "I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE!" that Ren started listening again.
"I get it now. You're in love with that character, and now you're projecting that love onto me. Somehow you managed to delude yourself into thinking that we're engaged. Is that right?" Kyoya deduced dispassionately.
Tamaki warily came towards the huddled hosts. "So she… made it up? You're not really her fiance, right?"
"Well no, I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage. Besides, this is the first time I've ever met the woman."
"You could've said so sooner…" Ren sighed, mumbling what they were all thinking.
Renge, after completely ignoring what their mother said, sat next to her self-proclaimed fiance. "According to my research, you're the one in charge of managing the club, is that true Kyoya?"
Honey took over for this, peering over from behind the couch. "That's right! Kyo-chan is our director!"
"You're the club's director? That's perfect!" She gushed again, and Ren tuned her out again.
"How did that even happen." Hikaru and Kaoru deadpanned, after Renge finally left saying she was their new manager.
"Wait what. Sorry, fell asleep."
"But your eyes were open!"
Ren yawned. "Sleepy."
"You're so weird, honestly Ren…"
Why. Why is she in their class.
All Renge spent doing was disrupting lessons then fanning a bunch of money to make the teacher shut down.
Nobody else seemed to even care, or at least, Hikaru and Kaoru didn't.
"Still upset?" They asked her after class.
She shrugged, and no, Ren was not pouting. Nope.
Never.
"Aw, is our poor favorite Renny upset over a wittle bittie annoyance?" Oh god, not the baby talk again…
"I am not." She crossed her arms, frowning at the ground.
The twins wrapped their arms around her, loose enough for her to leave if necessary but comforting enough that she wouldn't want to. "You are! Come on, it's alright sweetie, this is a safe space!"
"I know it is, y'all are just being assholes about this."
"Eh, maybe. If it helps any, she bothers us too. Teasing you for sulking is just funny though!"
Haruhi tapped their shoulders. "Guys, club meeting. Don't forget, or Kyoya-senpai might kill you."
Hikaru and Kaoru stopped clinging to Ren, and saluted at the fellow host. "You got it!"
"Going now? I can walk with you if you want…" Ren offered, feeling strangely hopeful that they'd accept.
"Nah, we're good. Besides," Hikaru pointed towards Renge. "I'm pretty sure she's gonna follow us up, so here's your chance to escape!" The cheesy grins and thumbs up they gave her made her let out a small laugh.
"Alright. See ya later then."
"Bye bye!"
Orange a tang: pls ren help
You: what's up
Haiku cause i can't spell: it's our manager
Haiku cause i can't spell: she's crazy
You: more than we thought?
Orange a tang: she decided our stereotypes weren't good enough
Orange a tang: now me and hikaru are basketball players for some reason!
You: damn.
You: that's rough buddy
Haiku cause i can't spell: :(
Orange a tang: :(
Ren sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. These feckin twins and their ability to make her do shit…
You: okay fine
You: what do i have to do
Orange a tang: :D
Haiku cause i can't spell: :D
How did they convince her to show up on… why is the school now a movie set.
"Your pain is my pain. It doesn't matter to me if no one else understands. As long as we have each other, we can go on living…!" Renge tearfully spoke the lines she'd written, while Ren watched below as Hikaru and Kaoru were suddenly basketball players as mentioned earlier.
She scrolled through the texts, reading over what they asked her to do and nodded to herself.
This really…
Was all such horseshit.
She watched the crew start heading for the next scene, filmed outside with false rain.
"Well? What do you think!" The manager? Director? Asked Ren, beaming with pride.
"It's certainly something, that's for sure."
"Something you're enjoying I hope!" The tone was cheerful, but Ren knew if she said anything less than positive she'd probably be in for some not fun stuff. Plus the Kyoya voice in her head. "She's one of our clients, don't piss her off or I'll increase your debt to me!"
"Uhh, sure. Yeah. Definitely." Okay, time for plan A. "I do think one thing that would add to this is you, Renge." Her eyes narrowed, and Ren suppressed a slight shiver. "I mean, with all the hard work and effort you've put into this, shouldn't you get some time in the spotlight as well? Maybe a scene with your favorite host, perhaps?"
The glare turned into sparkles, and Ren really did shudder this time at such a quick change. "What a great idea! I can't wait to write a kiss scene with my darling Kyoya!" She ran off, waving the crew to follow after her.
"Geez, I wish you convinced her before we got caught in the rain." Hikaru complained, toweling his hair dry.
"You should be glad I did this at all, do you know how scary she is? Fuckin terrifying." Ren deadpanned. "Though I gotta say, you guys didn't have bad acting. Maybe she really should go through with this movie." She mused, ignoring the twins frantically shaking their heads and holding up their arms like x's.
"Please no, she's so bossy…!" They whined, already back clinging to her.
"Why are you like this." She crossed her arms in annoyance. "Your uniforms are still soaked, you know."
"Oh right, almost forgot." Kaoru threw something at Ren, which was impressive considering he was still practically hanging off her.
"What's this?"
"It's an invitation. Our family is having a celebration for the new clothing line, and you're our plus one."
Did this happen in the show? "Alright, I guess I can be there. How fancy will it be?"
"Oh, no need. We'll provide the outfit!" Those grins were far too devious than she'd like, but oh well.
"...One thing. Nothing too showy, stuff like that makes me uncomfortable."
"Heard ya loud and clear!"
Ren paused, hearing what almost sounded like a… stampede?
"Kyoya darling! Let's go film the scene! And don't worry, you can mess up as many times as you need to, but it doesn't have to be under the guise of a movie for you to kiss me my love!" Renge dragged the poor guy, who looked vaguely annoyed at the prospect of everything at the moment.
"Ah, she's back." Ren mumbled, pitying the host in her grasp.
"You two! What are you doing! You need to be memorizing the lines I have beautifully crafted!" Renge shouted, while the twins whistled and innocently looked away.
"I'm helping them practice, don't worry." Ren interjected smoothly, leading Renge away while quickly gesturing for Kyoya to leave now or forever hold his peace.
"Oh! I can't wait for Haruhi's scene! I found the perfect people to portray the villains!" She ran off once again, this time in search of Haruhi.
After a beat of silence, she shrugged.
"Welp, my work here is done." Ren started making her way to the front, with the twins not far behind.
"Hey Ren, don't forget the party this time!" Hikaru and Kaoru teased, while she merely smiled.
Dorks.
Me? Changing some canon? I would never! Though if I did, please tell me what you thought of it! Thank you for reading!
~ TheAngelicPyro