CHAPTER 8

THE FATHER'S MIND

The weather was still warm but there was a distinct crisp in the air. Autumn was fast approaching as the morning sun lifted into the Monday morning sky, the first day of school for elementary students across Japan. Young children crowded the streets as they flocked to their schools with their parents by their sides, each one with their fitted uniforms and yellow hats, symbolizing their presence as a young elementary student.

For one family arriving at Honcho Elementary School, the Hiiragi family was in the process of dropping their newest kin off for their first day. Tadao and Miki escorted Kagami and Tsukasa to the school as the waves of other children continued to flood the grounds of the school. Though they were twins, their reactions to their first day were anything but identical.

Leading the charge with vibrant enthusiasm, Kagami gripped her father's hand and was pulling him as fast as she could towards the school. "Hurry up, daddy! Today's the big day!"

"Yes, yes, Kagami. Slow it down though, the school isn't going anywhere." Tadao said calmly with nostalgic happiness for his daughter. "You've been looking forward to this day for awhile, haven't you, Kagami?"

"I sure have!" Kagami began to pant as they neared the school. "I can't wait to start learning and to make new friends!"

Miki on the other hand was having a more difficult time with the twin she was escorting. Walking at a slower pace, Miki felt Tsukasa cling to her dress with all her might and the young girl's petite face was buried in the garb. She could also feel her youngest daughter trembling and it got worse with every step. They had a long and difficult night the previous night with Tsukasa as going to school and being away from her mother for the first time didn't sit well with her. It resulted in a long and emotional tantrum from the youngest Hiiragi daughter.

The family finally arrived at the school's front gate and Kagami was bouncing up and down as her father struggled to keep a firm grip on her hand. Tsukasa however began to pull towards the opposite direction while the sea of other children continued to brush past the family. While Tadao continued to hold Kagami's hand, Miki stopped and tried to loosen her youngest daughter's grip on her dress.

With every attempt, Tsukasa only squeezed harder and buried her face deeper into the protective cocoon of her mother's existence. Tsukasa suddenly looked up into Miki's eyes and the Hiiragi housewife saw something truly upsetting for every mother. Tsukasa's eyes were flooded with tears and her face was flushed as she struggled to hold the water in her head.

"Mommy…please don't make me go." She whimpered submissively and continued to gasp for air between chokes. "I promise I'll be a good girl. Please don't leave me, mommy. I love you."

Miki felt her daughter pulling at her heart strings and she was finally able to free herself from Tsukasa's grip, allowing her to turn and bend down to her knees and look the crying infant in the eyes. Miki pulled her close and Tsukasa quickly returned the hug and continued to sob and choke as more tears flowed downward.

"Now, now, don't make such a fuss, Tsukasa." Miki commanded with a soothing voice as she looked her in the eyes again. "School is going to be a lot of fun. You're going to learn so many things and make new friends. Plus your big sister will be there with you."

Tsukasa continued to choke and wince as she dried her tears. "I don't want to leave you, mommy."

Miki sighed as the time to leave her daughter drew closer. "How about this; when you're done with school today, we'll spend the rest of the day together in the kitchen and I'll teach you how to bake madeleines."

Hearing the offer began to dry Tsukasa's tears as she wiped them from her eyes. "O…okay mommy…but…what about…the others?"

"The others?" Miki asked with curiosity.

"The other kids. What if nobody likes me? What if everybody's mean to me?" Tsukasa asked with another sniffle. "Everybody loves sissy; sissy is the best. But what if I can't be like sissy and nobody likes me?"

Miki sighed again as the issues continued to mount for her and her youngest daughter. She suddenly got an idea that would possibly help booster Tsukasa's self-esteem and she reached into her purse and fished for the tool to help her. Miki grasped the tool and slowly retracted her hand and when it reemerged, a yellow ribbon wafted in the breeze in her grasp and she lifted it towards Tsukasa's head.

"What's that, mommy?" Tsukasa asked with curiosity as Miki wrapped the ribbon around the back of her daughter's head and began to tie it in an upward bow just above her forehead.

"I was planning on giving this to you a little later, but now is as good a time as any," Miki replied as she finished tying the ribbon with a bow divided into two tails standing upward on the top of Tsukasa's head. "This ribbon automatically makes you ten times cuter than any other girl in this school, Tsukasa. When you go into that school and everyone sees your ribbon, they will be so impressed that they'll want to be your friend instantly."

"Really?" Tsukasa asked as she lifted her drying eyes upward towards the new yellow addition.

"Absolutely…in fact, I think I'll need that ribbon to make my own friends today. I changed my mind, I'm taking it back." Miki said playfully and quickly tickled her daughter's stomach, sending the youngest Hiiragi twin into a laughing frenzy as she covered her ticklish spot and Miki continued to tickle Tsukasa until she pulled her close and kissed her on the head. "Feel better?"

Tsukasa smiled and nodded once. "Can…can we still bake madeleines after school?"

Miki closed her eyes and giggled. "Of course, sweetheart."

Miki kissed Tsukasa on her head again and watched the youngest Hiiragi twin dash to Kagami and the two sisters joined hands and walked into the schoolyard together. They soon disappeared in the clutter of other children as Miki rejoined her husband and the two stood side-by-side. Tadao wrapped his arm around Miki's shoulder and pulled her close.

"You're a natural, hun." He said with a smile.

Miki giggled. "Of course, dear. She's my daughter, you know."

Tadao chuckled and turned to his wife, connected his lips to hers and when their kiss was complete, said, "I love you, Miki."

His wife looked up at him with a smile. She opened her mouth and began to repeat the same word over and over again. "Dad? Dad?"

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"Hey dad, are you okay?" Matsuri asked, bringing Tadao out of his flashback as the two worked at the family shrine.

Matsuri stood before him dressed in her shrine maiden outfit with a bucket of cleaning supplies in one hand and a washcloth in the other. Tadao himself was in the midst of sweeping the wooden porch of another shrine near the bald spot where the remains of the torched shrine once stood.

Snapping himself out of his trance, Tadao shook his head quickly and glanced at Matsuri again. "Yes, yes I'm fine, dear. I was just thinking, that's all."

Matsuri shrugged. "Okay. I just wanted to tell you I'm done polishing the shrine bells."

Tadao nodded. "Thank you, Matsuri. Did you also sweep the around the massha?"

Matsuri nodded.

Tadao searched his mind to see if there was anything else he needed Matsuri to do. He scanned the layout of the Hiiragi family shrine's property and couldn't take his eyes off the scorched bald spot. The crime against his daughter happened in the Kagura-den, a shrine that is exclusively used in ceremonies for dance rituals. Something about its destruction though was puzzling him. If it was Ryosuke's accomplices that were responsible for the arson as the police believed, then why did they burn that shrine down? In the minds of sick and twisted individuals such as rapists, Tadao thought they would've wanted to keep the Kagura-den up as their own trophy while taunting the family with it in the process. Knowing that Tsukasa was brutally gang-raped inside the shrine would drastically change how the family saw the shrine and they would begin to feel uncomfortable living on their own property. Instead of burning it down, they could've trashed or torched another shrine or wrote a message of hate on another sacred structure or a message threatening the other Hiiragi daughters.

Matsuri watched her father deep in thought and saw he couldn't take his eyes off the bald spot, where pieces of the soil were still blackened by the fire. She didn't know what was going on in his mind but knew he was under a lot of stress from not only his wife, but also from the community. Since the rape alone, attendance at the shrine from visitors and tourists was down and the inflow of money was becoming narrower. After the arson, attendance was at the lowest point it ever was in the shrine's history and when Tsukasa was arrested the previous night, Tadao knew it was only a matter of time until the visitors stopped coming completely.

"Um…so is that everything, dad?" Matsuri asked, snapping her father out of his second trance.

"Oh, yes, that's all for today, Matsuri. Thank you for your help." Tadao said and turned away. "Your friend Ibuki-san is coming over later to pick you up, isn't she?"

Matsuri nodded. "We were going to the mall and going out for drinks after that."

Tadao smiled for her and nodded. "Sounds like fun."

As Matsuri turned, she began to slowly walk away, her wooden sandals clogging against the cobblestone path. Her father remained silent as he looked back at the Kagura-den's vacant spot and Matsuri knew something was truly eating away at his curiosity. The cold air of the January weather made her black eye more sensitive, but nevertheless she wanted to make sure everything was all right with him before she returned to the warm house.

"Dad…I can tell something's bothering you. Is it still Tsukasa?" Matsuri asked.

Tadao's sense of concentration was broken again by his middle child as he looked back at her and slowly shook his head. "No…well, I've been thinking about the Kagura-den."

Matsuri joined her father in looking at the scorched plot of land where the shrine once stood. She remembered how much fun she used to have with her father there when he taught her how to perform the traditional ceremonial Kagura dance along with Inori and eventually Kagami and Tsukasa. That was many years ago when they wore smaller miko outfits and it was more about quality time together over actually learning the dance.

"You mean when those pricks burned it down?" Matsuri asked.

Tadao brought his hand to his face and began to scratch his chin and submissively stated, "That's the issue. Something's telling me that it wasn't them at all. I think I have an idea who really burned the shrine down…but I'm afraid if I utter the name of who I think did such a thing to us…I believe I'm going to be sick."

Matsuri felt her father's emotions and she could tell just how upset he was over this. He cried when he saw his family's shrine going up in flames and it began to mess with his mind. Tadao couldn't help but feel that he had disgraced his ancestors twice; the first time for letting such a horrible crime happen to his daughter within the sanctity of its walls, and for letting an assailant destroy it. Despite this, Matsuri tried to catch up to her father's train of thought and an intuition suddenly exploded in her head that made her feel sick.

"Dad…you don't think that maybe…it couldn't have been…Tsu—"

"Like I said, Matsuri," Tadao interrupted his daughter as he turned to her and placed his hands on her shoulders firmly. "I don't blame you if you didn't want to allow your sister out of jail. Don't tell anyone else in the house I said this to you, but I'm almost afraid of your sister."

Tadao felt his knees weaken and quake as he quickly found a stone bench to sit on as Matsuri helped him to it. He put his hand to his head and couldn't help but breathe hard to try and calm himself down as he continued to think about more memories regarding his youngest daughter and the shrine.

"My god, I'm afraid of my own daughter." He snarled at himself. "What kind of father am I?"

"The best in the world, daddy." Matsuri interjected for him and Tadao quickly picked up on how Matsuri called him "daddy," an incredible rarity for the middle Hiiragi daughter. "We all feel the same way, now. We all want things to go back to the way they used to be, but that can't happen. You're doing your best, and because of that you've already gone above and beyond anything the average father would do for his children to make sure they're comfortable."

Tadao rubbed his eyes with his fingers and turned back to Matsuri. "Thank you, dear. I remember when you were a little girl and dancing happily with your sisters in that shrine. You've grown up so fast that I couldn't keep up and now you're a beautiful young woman."

Matsuri smiled for her father's sake and pulled him into a hug.

Tadao returned the hug and whispered into his daughter's ear, "Please do me a favor, Matsuri, keep making me and your mother proud. We're both counting on you, Inori, and Kagami."

Matsuri became depressed when she noticed her father intentionally left out Tsukasa. She closed her eyes and nestled her face deeper into the hug, another rarity for the usually masculine middle child. Tadao remembered when Matsuri was younger and even until now, she hated it when either he or Miki would hug or kiss her as at first she thought it was gross, now she just thought it was annoying. It wasn't until Tsukasa got in the fast lane to disaster that she changed her mind about such sentiments.

Tadao stared at the blackened hole in the ground where the Kagura-den once stood and felt another vision coming to him.

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As the snow fell in the winter season, peace and harmony settled upon the Hiiragi shrine as Christmas arrived at their household yet again. Their home was festively decorated from top to bottom with glittering Christmas lights and lawn ornaments while several freshly constructed snowmen stood in the yard, as well as snow angels made by two taller figures, and two made by two smaller figures.

The Hiiragi family celebrated with their close-knit family this Christmas Eve. Usually, Tadao and Miki hosted a get-together for their two families, but this holiday they wanted to keep it close. Inori and Matsuri were getting older while Kagami and Tsukasa just started school, so the married couple decided they wanted to be alone with their children for the family holiday.

Hearing the oven's buzzer, Miki quickly slipped on her protective gloves and opened the door and was blasted by a mouth-watering aroma of a roast. She put the steaming pot aside as she heard the clatter of her children playing together while their laughter echoed through the hallways and Tadao finally returned from the shrine.

"I'm home," he announced to the household.

"In here, dear." Miki called from the kitchen as she continued to prepare the Christmas dinner.

Tadao was hit by the sweet aroma of the dinner Miki had prepared for the family and when she lifted the pot's lid, a cloud of steam lifted up and it revealed the scrumptious dinner. The husband smiled and planted a kiss on his wife's cheek and said, "It looks great, hun. You never cease to amaze me."

Miki giggled, turned, and placed her arms on Tadao's shoulders as he placed his hands on her hips and the couple began to sway gently left and right. "Thank you, dear. You're quite amazing yourself, so how was work?"

Tadao nodded once, still with a happy smile on his face. "It was fine. I was thinking…when the kids go to bed tonight…maybe you and I could open each other's presents…if you know what I mean."

Miki giggled again and sensually replied. "Sounds great, just make sure you unwrap me gently."

"Unwrap? We're opening presents now?!" A new and young voice announced, making Tadao and Miki turn and see Matsuri standing in the doorway with an excited face.

The couple couldn't help but laugh at her innocence as they disconnected from each other and tried to divert the conversation away from them and back on the children. Miki stepped forward and bent down to eight-year-old Matsuri and patted her head. "Well…we're starting a new tradition this year. Each of you gets to open one present on Christmas Eve. You'll still have to wait until Santa Claus delivers the rest, though."

"Hooray!" Matsuri exclaimed and dashed back upstairs to inform her sisters.

Tadao chuckled as his wife stood again and he said, "One present on Christmas Eve? You just can't stop spoiling them, can you, dear?"

Miki sighed with a smile. "It was either that or tell her about the birds and the bees. That would flush our Christmas down the toilet."

The dinner wasn't as close or eventful as Miki had hoped. Matsuri catching her parents in the middle of their innuendo put them in the predicament that forced Miki to let Christmas come early. Throughout dinner the children bickered back and forth of which gift they would open first, thus keeping the conversation away from the family and the true meanings of Christmas. Nevertheless, the dinner continued with Tsukasa taking her usual spot next to her mother at the dinner table with Kagami to her right.

The only conversation Miki and Tsukasa had together revolved around how Miki cooked the roast and what kind of ingredients were best for holiday dinners. It perked Tsukasa's interest throughout, though it was just her and her mother that partook in the discussion. Inori and Matsuri also bickered over food while Kagami was still trying to adjust to her new and permanent hairstyle. Her twin pigtails, which at this point barely reached her shoulders, kept getting in the way of her mouth as she tried to eat.

After dinner, the family retreated into the living room where their Christmas tree stood with the presents individually wrapped sitting underneath. Tadao and Miki allowed their children to pick out their own presents to open, which they wholeheartedly agreed to, all except for one. Tsukasa Hiiragi sat on the couch in her pajamas with her arm wrapped around a teddy bear hugging it close to her face as she watched her older siblings debate what present to open, which Miki took notice of.

"Dear, don't you want to open a present, too?" She asked as she sat next to Tsukasa.

Tsukasa, with her usual docile face and yellow ribbon still fixed in her hair, turned to her mother. "I…I don't know what to open, mommy."

Tadao's ears perked up and he quickly glanced over to the tree and found one present that had Tsukasa's name on it. He collected it just as his other three daughters finalized their decisions and waited for the green light as Tadao placed the present next to Tsukasa.

"I think you should open this one, Tsukasa." He said with a smile and a wink and Tsukasa slowly held the gift in her arms, which was a flat box and nearly as tall as she was.

"I get to go first because I'm the oldest!" The eleven-year-old Inori exclaimed happily as she held her box.

"Yes, yes, we all know the tradition, sweetie." Miki said. "Go ahead."

Inori began to tear the paper of the small box apart and when she opened the brown box, she lifted a purple bottle with a sprayer at the top. "It's perfume! I've always wanted to have my own!"

"Glad you like it dear, just remember our agreement about makeup and other cosmetics." Miki added sternly.

"No makeup until I'm sixteen, I know mom." Inori said happily as she sprayed her first bit on her neck.

Matsuri readied her present. "Okay, my turn!" She tore the paper apart covering the larger box compared to Inori's and was able to pry the box open. She reached in and pulled out a leather notebook with the kanji "Diary" written across it. "My own journal!"

"That's right, now you can write your own personal thoughts in there and nobody can read them." Tadao said with a smile.

Matsuri opened the diary and found a pen and pencil set attached to the inside of the leather cover and quickly pulled out the pen. She eyed Inori and Kagami and formed a sinister smile while narrowing her eyes. "That's right! I can't wait to tell my journal everything about you two!"

"Hey!" Inori and Kagami yelled together as Matsuri began to write.

Matsuri began to quickly scribble in the first page while giggling to herself and eyeing her two sisters to keep them agitated. Kagami quickly turned to Miki and cried, "Mommy, make her stop! She's being mean again!"

"Now, now, there's no need for commotion on Christmas. Matsuri, you know to be nice to your sisters." Miki commanded.

"Yes, mom," Matsuri groaned as she closed her journal.

It was now Kagami's turn as she held her present and massacred the wrapping paper. She was an impatient child and being one of the youngest in the family didn't help on Christmas, but it was a different story on her birthday. Throwing the shredded paper aside, Kagami opened her box and three small books sat inside.

"What are they?" Kagami asked as she lifted the thin books out and began to page through one of them.

"They're called light novels, dear." Miki said. "I think you'll like them. They're a series about a female lawyer and what she does in court. Plus they'll help you learn new words and improve your reading ability."

Kagami sounded a curious hum as she took the first one in the series and began to read to herself. It was an instant hit with Kagami as she could easily understand the words and began to grasp the plot of the book right away.

Finally, Tsukasa sat with the flat box on her lap and she suddenly felt nervous with all eyes on her. Slowly and reluctantly, she opened the present and lifted the box's lid off and inside sat a new wardrobe for Tsukasa. It was a small white robe with a red dress skirt that would cover down to her ankles and it would be held together with a red sash.

"What is it, daddy?" She asked with curiosity.

"It's a miko's outfit, Tsukasa." Tadao said. "I'm sure you know this by now but we live on a shrine and that is of great importance to the community. One day, you'll be old enough to serve as a miko in the shrine and help with the tasks of being on a shrine."

Kagami took one look at it and started laughing at it. She pointed and laughed as Tsukasa held it up, making her younger sister blush and shy away in embarrassment. This prompted Matsuri to come to Tsukasa's aid by saying, "I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Kagami. Dad got you the exact same thing."

The revelation silenced Kagami's laughter and it triggered Inori and Matsuri to have their fun with their sister as Miki also couldn't help but giggle. Not at her daughter's embarrassment, but at the fact that Matsuri stepped up and defended her little sister.

"I like it. Thank you, daddy." Tsukasa said with a smile as she hugged the outfit.

Tadao smiled and added, "Would you like to try it on, Tsukasa?"

The youngest Hiiragi daughter nodded with enthusiasm and quickly retreated to her room and with her father telling her how to put it on through the closed door, she soon reemerged wearing the outfit. Tadao's heart melted when he saw his daughter wearing the small outfit and she happily twirled around to show it off to her father. It ignited a newfound interest in Tsukasa's innocent mind and she demanded that her father take her to the shrine and talk more about it.

Taking his daughter's hand and guiding her through the snowy grounds of the shrine, he took her into the Kagura-den, where the traditional Kagura dance was performed. He sat down and allowed Tsukasa to sit on his lap as he began to explain the history of the family's shrine and the history of their culture, which she knew a bit about already. As her father spoke, Tsukasa's eyes scanned the shrine's interior and observed the family portraits of all the priests that owned and worked for the shrine before her lifetime. She stared at her father's official portrait and continued to listen.

"And one day, Tsukasa, you too will also learn the Kagura dance and perform it for spectators during the festivals." Tadao finished.

"I want to learn the dance, daddy!" Tsukasa exclaimed happily.

Tadao stared at his daughter's trembling eyes filled with excitement and he continued to feel her innocence tug at his heart. He smiled, sighed, and said, "How about we have a small dance together right now?"

Tsukasa nodded happily.

The father and daughter joined hands while Tsukasa stood on her father's feet and the two continued to waltz back and forth inside the shrine. Tadao continued to stare into his daughter's eyes and he didn't want this moment to end. He didn't even want her to grow up and for her to stay his little girl forever.

"Hey, Tsukasa, I want you to promise me something, baby girl." Tadao said with sentiment.

"What's that, daddy?" Tsukasa asked with a smile.

"I want you to stay six-years-old forever, honey." Tadao said with a choke in his voice. "Never grow up and always stay innocent forever. Is that a deal?"

"Okay, daddy!" Tsukasa said happily as she hugged his legs and the two family members continued to dance in the Kagura-den.

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Tadao was snapped out of his second flashback when he heard a car door slam near his home. He knew that Miki had left earlier to go grocery shopping, at least that's what she said she was doing, and he assumed she had returned. Arriving back at his house, he entered through the front door and when he entered the kitchen, his emotions suddenly changed when he saw Tsukasa drinking a glass of water.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" He yelled, startling Tsukasa and making her turn.

Before she could answer, Miki rushed in from the other room and stood in front of Tsukasa, acting like a shield for her daughter. "Now, dear, please don't shout. She just got home."

Tadao glanced at Tsukasa and back at his wife. He was mad. He was mad as hell. As a married couple, they consulted with each other on everything regarding what happened in their household before they made a decision. Miki went behind his back to bail out Tsukasa without so much as asking his opinion on it and on top of that, she completely disregarded his earlier statement that he didn't want his youngest daughter back in their home. As Tadao was about to raise more hell with this issue, something happened that neither he nor Miki expected as Tsukasa stepped in front of her mother.

"Daddy, please don't shout anymore." Tsukasa whimpered with her eyes looking downwards at the floor. "I don't want to keep fighting. I want to talk about this…but can I at least take a bath first? I feel very tired and cold. Please let me take a bath first."

Tsukasa lifted her eyes up and stared at her father and it was at that moment when Tadao felt his nostalgia again. He quickly remembered his flashback when he danced with Tsukasa in the Kagura-den and his daughter's face was so full and packed with life and happiness. Now, when he looked at Tsukasa, all he saw was a pale face with black circles around its eyes and the absence of life and hope within the eyes themselves. Tsukasa's breathing was very weak and faint and she looked like living proof of death. His youngest daughter looked completely defeated.

Tadao remembered how pure and innocent she once was and what was happening to her wasn't Tsukasa's fault, but rather the end result of a horrible and perverse tragedy. Without verbalizing anything, Tadao quickly nodded and flicked his head towards the staircase, giving her his approval to take a bath.

Tsukasa nodded and said, "Thank you, daddy" in such a weak and tame voice. It reminded him of her voice when she was a child and when she would be at home sick with the flu or whatever she had at the time.

As Tsukasa walked upstairs, Miki breathed a sigh of relief as Tadao stepped forward. "This isn't over. We still need to talk about her and Matsuri, what she's going to do for school, and her plan for the trial with Patty-chan."

Miki nodded quickly and buried herself in her husband's chest and pulled him close. She was so relieved that he didn't banish Tsukasa from their home and allowed her to rest her delicate body for the time being. The only thing that concerned Miki is that when Tadao would question where she got the money to pay for Tsukasa's bail. She knew it was only a matter of time before he would find out because with his work, he would notice soon enough. It was actually a miracle he didn't notice it yet.

As Tsukasa began to draw her bath, she reached under the bathroom sink and lifted out a bottle of bubble soap. She poured enough into the running water to make the mountains of bubbles form and turn the water invisible, just as she wanted. She didn't want to have to see herself in the water for what she was planning on doing next. Walking into her vacant room, she searched for her diary under the mattress. Pulling it out along with a pen, she wrote the simplest entry to date.

Got arrested for beating Matsuri. Had the same dream last night again of those monsters raping me. Thank god for that asshole guard for waking me up before the pain of the broomstick came again. I can't take it anymore. Goodbye forever.

Tsukasa closed her diary and thinking it was the last entry she would ever write, she hid it. She knew it would eventually be found, but wanted to make sure she was free before that happened. The content of the diary's inside was enough to do everything bad and unspeakable to her family. If it was ever read, it would be enough for Tsukasa to be arrested again, for her sister's to never speak to her again, for her to be banished from the family forever, and it was even powerful enough to drive Tadao and Miki to divorce each other if one or both of them ever read it.

As the bathtub filled, Tsukasa needed to retrieve one more thing for her bath. She walked into her parents' room and into their bathroom, where Tadao kept all his masculine hygiene supplies. Being the only man in the house, he thought it was necessary to keep everything separate from the females in his home but Tsukasa still knew where to find everything. She searched through a drawer until she grasped what she needed and quickly retreated back into the bathroom.

With the tub now filled with hot water covered by a thick layer of bubbles, Tsukasa undressed herself and when her clothes were off, she stared at herself in the mirror one last time, revealing another secret. Her skin was pale and lifeless while her ribcage was clearly visible. Since she was raped, Tsukasa never ate a full course meal. She would pick at some food every now and then, but overall her health was continuing to deteriorate with her eating disorder. She didn't want to put anything in her mouth because of the humiliation she was forced to suffer during her rape only reminded her of that New Year's Eve.

Slipping into the bathwater, her body was no longer visible from her chest down, just as she wanted. Holding the tool from her father's drawer in her left hand, she breathed hard in anticipation of the inevitable pain. Grasping the tool, she placed it near her right hand and with one violent motion, ran it against her wrist.

Tsukasa winced and nearly screamed in pain but she continued to breathe deep while her heart pounded in her chest. Slowly looking down at the bubbly water, the bathwater began to turn an eerie red around her right wrist as she lifted her left hand out. Resting it on the edge of the tub, she opened her fingers and a razor blade slipped out that came from Tadao's shaving kit. The metal device landed on the tile floor with a clang as Tsukasa continued to breathe hard.

"That's right…take me away." She whispered as the water around her darkened in red and her skin became paler. Despite being in a hot bath, she still felt cold as the blood rushed out of her slashed wrist. Nevertheless, Tsukasa knew it was only a matter of time until her pain and anguish on Earth would be over forever.

"I still think you're making a big mistake, Miki." Tadao sternly said to his wife as they sat together in the kitchen. "She's still not well. One night in jail isn't going to change that."

Miki shook her head. "You're wrong, Tadao. When they brought her out to me in the station, I could see a change in her eyes. I think she's truly sorry for what she did to Matsuri."

Tadao shook his head. "I agree that I saw a change in her eyes, but I don't think it was what we should be seeing. When she was arrested last night, she had nothing but hate and anger in her eyes. Now, I saw nothing. No life, no emotion, nothing."

"We'll see." Miki snapped. "She's my daughter and I know what's best for her. Not you."

Tadao glared at her and stood from his chair. "I'm going to freshen up. Matsuri is out with a friend and Inori and Kagami are at school."

He abruptly left his seat and his wife alone as the bitterness between the couple only deepened. Tadao walked upstairs and approached the bathroom where it was unusually quiet on the inside. He didn't hear any splashing or anything. He stopped and raised his clenched fist with the intention of knocking on the door to check on Tsukasa but stopped. Tadao searched his heart and didn't want to further push Tsukasa away as he sighed, lowered his hand, and continued to walk to his bathroom.

Entering his bathroom, comparatively smaller than the family one, he searched for his shower supplies and also planned on shaving. He glanced down at the drawer that contained his shaving kit and instantly noticed something odd about it. The drawer was open slightly. Tadao was a man of details and knew that he always kept his bathroom neat and tidy as an example for his daughters. He never left a drawer open slightly, no matter how much he was in a rush.

He opened the drawer and when he saw his razor, he also began to count the spare blades in a box next to it. One was missing. Tadao scratched his head with curiosity of what may have happened to it, but he suddenly froze like a snowman when a thought exploded in his mind and he began to tremble as his heart pounded. He quickly dashed out of his bathroom and arrived at the family's bathroom and began pounding on the door.

"Tsukasa?! Tsukasa are you okay?! Tsukasa answer me right now!" He commanded as he pounded on the tinted glass of the door. He tried to open the door but suddenly realized it was locked, only furthering his panic when he was answered by silence and not by his daughter. "Tsukasa, open this door right now!"

Mustering all the strength his body would allow in his right arm, Tadao thrust his elbow into the glass, breaking a hole in it and allowing him to unlock the door and burst in. Taking in the scene in front of him was so dire and so grim, it took him several seconds to process every piece of it. The bathwater was red, Tsukasa's flesh was white as a ghost, her mouth and nose were underwater, and her left arm was hanging limp over the tub and her fingers were pointing at his missing razor blade.

Fighting the urge to vomit, Tadao ran into the bathroom and grabbed Tsukasa's cold and limp body under her armpits and hoisted her out. Disregarding her nudity, he rested her body on the tile floor and saw her right wrist was still spewing blood and it all made sense to him. His youngest daughter tried to kill herself.

With rising panic, he wrapped a towel around her gushing wrist and yelled at the open door, "Miki, call an ambulance now!"

Tadao searched for a pulse under his daughter's neck and he could no longer quell his panic when he failed to locate one and realized Tsukasa wasn't breathing. He immediately began to perform CPR on his daughter and mouth-to-mouth, desperate to start her heart again as Miki arrived with the phone in hand and began to scream at the sight of her naked daughter covered in blood and unconscious. She instantly proved her uselessness when she dropped the phone and began crying uncontrollably as Tadao continued to perform futile CPR and yell at his devastated wife to call for help.