CHAPTER 11

THE DARKNESS

Tadao Hiiragi sat alone inside one of the police station's interrogation rooms. It was the same station where his daughter spent the other night and now, it was the same station where more news regarding Tsukasa's case was awaiting him. He waited for Detective Maniwa to return with more information as the only sound that kept him company was the sound of the ticking clock in the room.

The door suddenly opened and the detective stepped in with a cup of coffee in one hand and several files in the other. He closed the door, approached Tadao, and placed the cup in front of him and said, "No sugar and a little cream just as you asked, sir."

Tadao nodded to Maniwa and thanked him as he took a sip of the hot beverage.

"Not a problem, Hiiragi-san." Maniwa replied and took a seat across from Tadao and opened the folders. "Okay, this is what we've got according to the official report and the mortician. Earlier this morning, a couple was out jogging in Saitama Central Park on one of the running tracks next to the Arakawa River when they approached a bridge. They saw three entities dangling from the bridge and when they got closer, they identified them as three humans who had hanged themselves and they immediately called 119."

Tadao gulped upon hearing of the suicides. Even though these young men were scum for doing such horrible and unholy things to his daughter, he still saw them as human beings as Maniwa continued.

"When our men arrived at the scene and pulled their bodies back up, we identified them as the missing three accomplices who raped your daughter. After we searched their clothes, it turned out that they were very regretful about the crime they committed." Maniwa added and fingered through some of the files. He retrieved three lengthy handwritten notes from each person wrapped in protective sleeves and slid them in front of Tadao. "These are their suicide notes and they're genuine. One of our other detectives who specializes in handwriting analysis concluded that they weren't scribbled out as if they were in a rush. We believe that this crime had been eating away at them ever since it happened until they couldn't take it anymore. The messages in each note all seem to be sincere and apologetic to us."

Tadao asked if he was allowed to see one of them, which Maniwa allowed and he picked it up to read to himself.

To the Hiiragi household and everyone I have hurt:

I cannot express to all of you my deepest sorrow and deepest apologies for the unspeakable crime I had committed against an innocent girl. I was drunk and high that night, but I know that is no excuse or consolation for what I or my friends did. I cannot imagine how terrified the young girl was, but I hope that this fate I have bestowed upon to myself brings some measure of justice. I have also left my phone containing the video of the rape that I hope the police will use it to put Ryosuke away forever. I must depart from this world now as the nightmares and guilt are now too much to bear any longer and hopefully I will be condemned to hell as I have already condemned myself there. Once again, I am profoundly sorry, Hiiragi family.

Daisuke Sakamoto

Tadao slid the note back to Maniwa, gulped, and looked at the detective. "Are…are you in possession of that video he was talking about?"

Maniwa nodded. "We found his phone in his coat pocket after we recovered his body and note."

"How…how bad is it?" Tadao asked.

Maniwa darted his eyes away from the distraught father, reluctant to answer his question. His professionalism as a policeman finally forced him to speak. "We had to watch it to guarantee its authenticity. It is authentic and…well…let me put it to you this way, Hiiragi-san. Many of my fellow policemen are fathers themselves…and it made several of them fall to their knees and cry while others had to run to the restroom to vomit. I'm not married and I'm not a father, but I cannot and will not say I know how you feel, sir. It was a very disturbing piece and we will undoubtedly use it to convict Ryosuke. No jury in the world will let this man walk when they see it."

Tadao lowered his head in shame. He slowly looked at the detective again and said, "I need to see it."

"Sir?" Maniwa asked.

"I need to see it." Tadao was quick to respond again.

Maniwa's facial expression shifted to confused and he replied, "I'm sorry, Hiiragi-san, but I do not understand."

"Ever since my daughter was raped, she has been on a downward spiral and has been getting into fights and was even expelled from school." Tadao replied with fatherly emotion in his voice. "I'm sure you know by now that she was even arrested and spent the other night in this very station. I only know the pain I should feel as a father for Tsukasa. If I see the video, I will be at the same level as her and I think I can reach her at a more intimate level and stop this cycle. Please let me see it."

Maniwa didn't know what to make of Tadao's rationality. He did know that Tsukasa spent the night in his station last night and that she was on a self-destructive path, but he couldn't understand how Tadao thought reliving his own daughter's rape would help. He wasn't a father though so he hoped that Tadao had a fatherly intuition that he lacked so he slowly reached into his uniform pocket and retrieved the electronic device.

The smart phone was wrapped in a plastic evidence bag and Maniwa slowly took it out and turned it back on. It was deafly quiet in the room again as Maniwa went through the phone's electronic library to find the video with the ticking clock's noise dominant once again in the room. Maniwa sighed as the video loaded in the phone and when he switched it to full-screen mode, he placed it on the table and slid it Tadao and said, "Tap the screen to play it."

His hands shaking, Tadao lifted the horizontal rectangular phone and gently tapped the screen, the tip of his finger leaving behind small spots of sweat. The first thing he saw nearly made him drop the phone as his heart pounded and his blood boiled. He saw Tsukasa forced on her hands and knees in the Kagura-den, her miko outfit brutally torn and shards of it dangling off her naked body and her red and white ribbon that usually sat in her hair was tied over her mouth as she cried. Tears shot out of her eyes as she violently shook her head and continued to cry for help but the ribbon around her mouth made all her attempts in vain. As Tadao watched the digital nightmare, he heard the men laughing and his heart leaped into his throat when he saw one of them approach Tsukasa with a broom in hand while two more got in position behind and in front of the frightened young girl as they opened their pants.

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The sliding doors of the hospital opened and a fully healed Tsukasa Hiiragi walked out with her mother, who had a look of gloom and fear on her face. Miki had once again come to her daughter's rescue, which she knew was going to displease her husband again and even more so this time. Miki was letting Tsukasa walk away from a suicide attempt with hardly any questions asked. Tadao was undoubtedly going to hit the roof and it would put Miki in a corner. Why would she let their suicidal daughter walk away from treatment and more importantly, why would Miki sign such a request being that Tsukasa was still technically a minor? Miki feared that today she would have to come clean about where the original bail money came from, which also meant she would most likely have to pack her bags.

Since Tadao had the car, Miki and Tsukasa walked side-by-side with each other towards the bus stop. Miki glanced at her daughter several times to try and find any signs of remorse or regret for what she did. Tsukasa continued to stare into space with a look of cold concrete on her face. She walked and carried herself as if nothing ever happened. The fact that she technically died twice within the past twenty-four hours rolled off her like water off a duck's back. Miki had the same "three strike" conversation with Dr. Hirukawa before they left and unlike Tsukasa, Miki was taking the warnings seriously.

Standing at the bus stop, Miki finally broke the ice with her daughter. "Are you still feeling okay?"

Tsukasa slowly lifted her right wrist, revealing its resemblance to a mummy with it wrapped in a multi-layered bandage. Tsukasa huffed at it and said, "I can take it. It was nothing."

"Dying is not nothing, Tsukasa." Miki replied. "You have no idea what your father and I felt when we had to run with those paramedics as they rushed you in yesterday on that gurney. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but we still love you, Tsukasa."

Tsukasa tightened her facial expression and looked away. Her silence was her only reply to her mother's affection.

Miki sighed as the bus approached and finally said, "You're going to have to help me out when we get home. Your father is going to want an explanation why I didn't enroll you in that psychological program at the hospital. What will I tell him?"

The bus's doors opened and Tsukasa quickly stepped up first and replied, "Tell him whatever you have to. Don't forget…you are the one that hangs in the balance."

It never ceased to amaze Miki how much her youngest and formerly most timid daughter could hurt her so. Ever since she was forced to become a newer and darker person, Tsukasa knew exactly where to jab a sharp stick into the places where it hurt the most. Miki was still at a loss of what to do as she sat in one empty seat while Tsukasa took the seat directly behind her.

Their bus ride lasted for ten minutes until it neared the next stop. In those ten minutes, neither Miki nor Tsukasa exchanged one word to each other; not even a single glance of acknowledgment. As the bus slowed, Miki's cell phone began ringing and she quickly rummaged through her purse and when she pulled it out, she saw Inori's number in the screen, prompting her to open it.

"Hello, dear." Miki said.

Tsukasa couldn't follow the conversation but could hear her oldest sister's voice in the phone as she glanced out the window. She suddenly recognized where she was. She was only a few blocks from The Black Window, the store where Yuka Miyakawa worked and Tsukasa quickly formulated yet another escape plan. Like hell she was planning on facing her family again to give them yet another explanation.

"What…? They're dead?" Miki gasped. "Does your father know? I see…he just came home from the police station."

Tsukasa wasn't listening. She just waited for the bus to stop completely as she eyed the backdoors and waited for them to open.

"What do you mean your father is acting strange?" Miki asked as she held the phone closer as all her attention was now on the conversation as Inori replied.

"I don't know exactly how to put it…when he came home from the police station he was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't speak. He's been sitting in the living room holding the family photo album and whispering to Tsukasa's photos ever since." Inori spoke.

Miki nodded with concern and the bus came to a complete stop. "Okay, dear. Keep an eye on him and I'll be home soon."

"What about Tsukasa?" Inori asked.

Miki gulped and tightened the grip on her phone. "We'll talk about that when I get home. For now, just keep an eye on your father."

Inori complied and the mother and daughter ended their conversation. Miki sighed and put her phone away as the bus began to move again. "Hey Tsukasa, I have some news for you. Those other three men that…did that to you…the police said they died. They hanged themselves."

Silence was what Miki was expecting from Tsukasa, so it didn't come as a surprise to her when she received it.

"I know that doesn't undo all the damage they caused and I don't expect you to automatically feel better, but—" Miki began again but stopped when an elderly man sitting across the bus row from her tapped her shoulder.

"Excuse me, miss, but are you talking to someone?" He asked.

Miki nodded. "Yes, my daughter. She's sitting—"

She halted her sentence when she turned around and saw the seat behind her that was once occupied by her daughter was now vacant. Miki quickly shifted her eyes around the bus for Tsukasa but was only met with unfamiliar and confused eyes from the strangers on the bus. It was clear Tsukasa gave her the slip again. Miki slowly slumped back into her seat, sighed, and wondered what time and what day she would see her youngest daughter again.

Tsukasa dashed through the streets of the shopping district and when she was sure she lost her mother again, she slowed down to catch her breath. She was alone again in the larger area of town and she fixed her wardrobe and began to walk again towards The Black Window. The youngest Hiiragi twin brushed off her two meetings with death, knowing her secret friend Yuka Miyakawa would get a kick out of them. She knew that Miyakawa was obsessed with death and nearly hearing of Tsukasa's demise was going to be a good one.

She finally arrived at the alternative store and violently pushed the door open, ringing the bell and when she entered, she saw Miyakawa sitting behind the desk reading a magazine. The door's bell lifted her head from her reading and when she saw Tsukasa, her eyes nearly exploded as this was the first time she had seen Tsukasa since the last time she escaped two days ago. Miyakawa had no idea the kind of drama Tsukasa went through since the last time they were together. Within forty-eight hours, Tsukasa was expelled from school, arrested, spent a night in jail, tried to commit suicide, and spent another night in a hospital.

Miyakawa was overjoyed to see Tsukasa as she stood from her chair and as she dashed around her counter to get to the youngest Hiiragi twin, Tsukasa's piercing glare halted her. Keeping her eyes fixated on Miyakawa, Tsukasa reached behind towards the door and grasped the open sign hanging from the door and flipped it so it would read closed to any potential customers. Withdrawing her hand, Tsukasa lifted both hands to the zipper on the front of her dark top and quickly pulled it down, unzipping it.

She quickly ripped it open, revealing the front of her body with the only thing keeping her decent was the black bra covering her breasts as she dropped the black top on the floor. Stunned by the bold move, Miyakawa slowly looked back up at Tsukasa and the rogue Hiiragi daughter said, "Is that tattoo offer still on the table?"

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Miki finally arrived home with one less member of the family with her. She knew she was even in deeper water now that Tsukasa had run off again but she needed to tackle one issue at a time. Right now, her husband was in a crisis after his visit to the police station and she needed to know what had happened there. She barely made it through the door when Inori and Matsuri swamped her with looks of concern.

"Mom, we think dad might be in trouble." Matsuri whispered with fear. "He hasn't left the living room and he's still talking to the photo album."

"When we tried to talk to him, all he said was 'God help us all.'" Inori added with concern.

Miki hugged her daughters and slowly approached the living room that has seen so much activity since Tsukasa fell off the sanity train. An uneasy quiet fell upon the Hiiragi household as Miki rounded a corner and entered the living room and upon seeing her husband sitting on the sofa holding the same photo album she held before began to worry her. As she slowly approached the frozen man, she could see his skin complexion had changed to a paler shade as he sat with a stone-cold face, his eyes also fixated on one photo.

Miki slowly curled next to him on the sofa and glanced at the photo he was so feverishly staring at. It was of a family vacation to Hokkaido during the summer and Tsukasa was eight-years-old at the time. The photo was just of Tadao and he was holding Tsukasa up; the little girl with her petite arms wrapped around her father's neck and presented an enthusiastic smile, just like her father. In the background, countless meadows of wildflowers decorated the landscape in multiple rows, creating scenic stripe patterns of nearly every color imaginable.

"I remember that trip, dear." Miki whispered. "I never saw Tsukasa as happy as she was when she was running through those rows of flowers."

Tadao didn't respond either verbally or physically. He just stared at the photo as if he was a statue.

Miki's concern grew, prompting her to slowly place her hand on in his left cheek and nearly had to pull it back upon feeling his flesh was cold as ice. The silence continued to drive painful spikes of tension into the household until Miki was forced to break it again when she said, "Did something happen, Tadao?"

He inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I don't get it, honey. My whole life I was taught that there was good in all humans. To have faith in all of humanity and that one day, all humans would see the errors of their ways and repent for what they've done to each other on Earth. I was taught that hate was the absolute worst entity that dwells on Earth and that it corrupts all humans and drives them to do unspeakable things to each other."

Miki watched her husband with fear as he continued.

"Then there's me. A man of God. A man that is supposed to set a good example for not only the community, but for my family, and for the human race. Our shrine was once a sanctuary, now, its forever a crime scene." Tadao continued with growing angst in his voice. "I was taught to never feel hate, but compassion…even for my enemies. But tell me Miki…what kind of man of God am I if at first I feel sympathy for my daughter's rapists' suicides, then only thirty minutes later, feel nothing but hate for them? And not just hate…the kind of hate that makes me hope…not wish…but hope…that they're in hell…and that they'll be suffering and be in pain for all eternity. What kind of man am I?"

Miki was speechless.

"You were right, dear. You were right. I'm no man at all." Tadao sniffed as his eyes began to flood, making Miki's heart race as she had never seen him cry before. "I couldn't protect Tsukasa on my own shrine's grounds…and what happened to her in that shrine…"

Miki's eyelids lifted. "Detective Maniwa told you something…didn't he?"

Tadao nodded once. "One of those boys videotaped the whole thing."

Miki gulped and breathed hard. "You…you mean that…you saw Tsukasa's rape?"

Tears finally fell from his eyes, confirming for Miki that this was the beginning of the end of the Hiiragi family as Tadao turned his head to her, presenting the face of a broken man. "I saw the whole thing. I never knew that humans were capable of such horrors and atrocities. What they did to her…it wasn't human. I can tell you right now…Tsukasa is never going to recover from this…no matter what we do for her. I can see now why she's acting the way she's acting. No amount of therapy or family support will help her now."

Fearing the unknown of the family's fate, Miki snuggled as close as she could to Tadao and quickly whispered, "What did they do to her?"

Tadao quickly shook his head. "If you see that video, I'll have to put you on suicide watch too. In fact, I'm not sure I even trust myself at this point."

Tadao slowly stood after placing the photo album down and he began to walk away. Miki suddenly felt panic and quickly said, "Where are you going, Tadao?"

He stopped but still couldn't face his wife anymore. "To the shrine. The way I see it…it was probably for the best that the Kagura-den was burned down. There's nothing we can do to make that place or that ground holy again…not after what happened in there. I just…I just need to think for awhile. After what I saw, I can safely say…there was no god watching over us that night. Only darkness."

Tadao abruptly left the home through the front door and Miki continued to stare at the door with both a puzzled and a terrified face. Of course all rape is a horrible experience, but was Tsukasa's really that terrible that it made her husband question his faith? Tadao was always a peaceful and reserved man but when he needed to, he always took a stand for his religious beliefs. He has seen humanity at its best, and even at its so-called worst and he always came out a stronger and even more religious man because of it. But the video at the police station horrified him so much that now, he doubted his own upbringing and was questioning everything he ever believed in.

As Miki sat alone in the living room, Inori and Matsuri soon poked their heads around the corner and looked inside, catching their mother's attention. Seeing the look on their mother's face rivaled their father's, making them swoop in and take a seat on each side of Miki and nestle closer to her. Miki wrapped her arms around them and pulled them close. She assumed Inori and Matsuri heard everything so she didn't play stupid with them when she began talking to them.

"What do you girls think we should do?" Miki asked in a defeated voice. "I think your father is in the middle of an identity crisis and doesn't know what to do."

Inori couldn't contain her emotions anymore and cried on her mother's shoulder. "Please don't say that, mom. If dad loses faith, what can save us? What will pull us out of this nightmare? Will he just stand by and tell us that all our hard work and all our dedication to the shrine, to faith, and to Saitama was all a waste of time? I couldn't live like that, mom. I wouldn't want to, either."

Matsuri held her own emotional wise as she observed the situation. "We shouldn't put everything into faith now. We need to put our strength into each other. Whether there is a god or not is completely irrelevant; we need to band together and overcome this as not only humans, but as a united family."

They were strong words that came out of Matsuri, but it still didn't help. Tadao was always seen as the leader of the family and the religious community and to have that rug ripped out from under the Hiiragi family sent devastating shockwaves throughout the ranks. Miki and Inori were in sync with each other regarding the fact that if they didn't have faith to fall back on, they felt alone and beaten. It was now them against the darkness of the human mind, which already proved to Tadao that it was a true force to reckon with. What the dark side of the human mind is capable of is nothing short of devastating, as it seemed to prove in that one thirty minute video of Tsukasa Hiiragi's rape.

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Yuka Miyakawa dragged the needle through Tsukasa's skin while injecting the black ink into her shoulder. To the store owner, Tsukasa was taking the pain like a pro as she never cried or asked for a break; she just sat in the chair and kept her poker face of anger as the image she selected was nearly complete.

"You are the toughest bitch I know," Miyakawa said as she finished the last of the tattered wings of the design. "You nearly off yourself by slashing yourself open and then you take this needle and make it your own little baby."

Tsukasa narrowed her eyes as the comparatively mild pain continued to surge her body. "Other things in life have hurt worse, Yuka."

Miyakawa looked up from her work and looked at Tsukasa's black hair. "You mean the night you were spoiled by those pigs. Does it still hurt when you sit down?"

"It's hurting right now. When I sit, when I stand, when I piss, everything." Tsukasa snarled as she continued to hold still for the tattoo's completion.

Miyakawa slowly shook her head as she paused the tattoo gun to wipe away some of the excess ink and blood above Tsukasa's flesh. As she continued, she said, "There's another rave tonight if you're interested. Same time, same place."

"Count me in." Tsukasa said fiercely and without a second thought.

Miyakawa grinned as she finished the tattoo and began to bandage it. "Okay, it looks great on you. I think it definitely suits you and those stories you told me. You make one sexy bitch of death."

Tsukasa formed a sinister grin and rose from her chair to face a mirror. She slowly turned around and revealed the new piece of art on her body. The tattoo was of the grim reaper, but it wasn't that simple. The reaper stood within its black tattered cloak and held a large scythe and the handle of the bladed item made of a human spine. The blade itself was razor and chipped in some places. Two massive chain links crossed over the reaper's chest and the reaper held a severed human skull in its free hand with another human spine still attached to it. Tattered and sliced bat wings stuck out of the reaper's back and stretched outwards as the whole image took up half of Tsukasa's back. At the bottom of the image, a tattered and torn banner sat that read "DEATH IS A BITCH" in red, dripping letters resembling blood.

Tsukasa turned away from the mirror and faced Miyakawa. "You're amazing, Yuka. Clothes, hair, tattoos, you're a genius at this."

Miyakawa winked at Tsukasa as she tucked her tattoo gun kit away. "Gratitude noted and appreciated. You're welcome, Tsukasa. How are you gonna make it up to me, bitch?"

Tsukasa fixed her black top again and locked eyes with Miyakawa again. "You're just going to have to wait and see…slut."

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Tsukasa and Miyakawa both lost their hearing as soon as they arrived at the rave later that night the very second they entered. It was a repeat of the first rave they hit with hundreds of people jammed into an old warehouse with pulsing music and lightshows. Smoke from suspicious "cigarettes" formed a massive cloud above the dancing mob while others popped different colored pills and danced all around.

The youngest Hiiragi twin and Miyakawa met with her circle of friends again and one of them brought something new to the table. He dropped a plastic bag filled with white powder and also took out a razor blade as he dumped the foreign substance on the table and began to chop through it with the blade. Tsukasa was still a novice in the world of drugs but prided herself in catching on quickly and being able to hold her own as one of Miyakawa's friends took a straw and snorted the white powder.

It sent him into a rush of tremors and shakes as he howled out loud as the drug took its full affect on him. Miyakawa laughed at the end results of the cocaine and immediately passed the straw to Tsukasa, who only repeated what she saw by putting it to her nose and inhaling the thin white line of chaos. Like a tidal wave of pure adrenaline, Tsukasa Hiiragi's petite body was no match for the powerful stimulant and everything for her suddenly went into overdrive.

Her vision blurred and as she suddenly lost the feeling in her mouth and parts of her face, she felt invincible. Laughing hysterically and disregarding her bleeding nostrils, Tsukasa lost control of her inhibitions and without warning, tore her top off her torso and once again revealed her body and black bra and took it a step further. Tearing her pants off, she exposed her black panties with a black garter belt wrapped around her hips attached to her pantyhose. Snatching Miyakawa's hand, Tsukasa took her friend to the front of the stage where the DJ readied another song from a band called Spineshank.

Once they reached the stage, they were instantly met with cheers from the crowd as the thundering metal music tore through the rave and in the midst of the strobe lights, lasers, and smoke from fog machines and drugs, Tsukasa grabbed a support pole holding the lights above the stage in place. Wrapping one leg around it, she swung herself around fiercely and let the blood continue to fly from her nose as her eyes became redder. She could hear the song lyrics match her new life as they echoed It's the beginning of the end and I don't know where we lost control! It's the beginning of the end and I know that I am all alone!

Miyakawa followed Tsukasa's lead as she too swung on another pole next to the former shrine maiden and good girl. She once again was feeling fatigued and worn out but it continued to shock Miyakawa that Tsukasa continued to dance on the pole, her maniacal laugh continuing to rival Spineshank's song "Beginning of the End."

Tsukasa suddenly stopped and grabbed Miyakawa by the neck and halted her dance as well. Forcing Miyakawa to look at her, Tsukasa stared at her with her bloodshot eyes, psychopathic smile, bleeding nostrils, and her gums were beginning to ooze the red liquid as well. It was then that even Yuka Miyakawa began to think that maybe she was in over her head as Tsukasa pulled her close and forced an aggressive kiss onto her.

The song came to the chorus and echoed The life we knew before is gone, there is no compromising. The life you save will be your own…to find your inner senses!

The crowd cheered vibrantly as they raised their hands and clapped in sync with the lyrics and the song thrashed again, continuing the unholy anarchy of debauchery as Tsukasa broke the kiss and stared at the mass of people pointing their camera phones at her. She suddenly felt dizzy and suddenly lost touch with her sense of direction and swayed back and forth on the stage as her nostrils continued to drip blood. Miyakawa breathed deeply in desperate attempts to fill her lungs again and suddenly saw Tsukasa was nearly depleted of energy and she had to help her off stage as the party continued.

A song entitled "My Heaven is your Hell" by a Finnish metal band named Lordi suddenly replaced Spineshank's song. The last thing Tsukasa could hear were the lyrics Free me from my life eternal, there's no blessing in this curse! Night by night is so infernal and yet it's getting worse!

"Story of my life," Tsukasa whispered to herself and finally passed out into the darkness.