Lines. A concept Hailey was struggling to grasp in multiple areas of her life. Moral lines. Ethical lines. Personal lines. Friendship lines. They all seemed to be blurring together. Voight had sent her to New York because the lines in the FBI were very clear. And he had been right. The lines in New York were laid out in front of you, shining as bright as the lights in Time Square. Hailey could put on a good show, she could stay well within the lines if she wanted too. The problem was, she didn't. The lines at work, the moral and ethical ones, those were easier to maintain. Especially with the threat of being fired lingering over your head. Hailey had been back from New York for a few weeks now. Her higher ups while she was there had sent Voight an outstanding report, told him she had passed with flying colors and that they would love to have her back any time. They had even proposed a job offer to her the day before she left. She had scoffed at it then, but now, as she sat on a bar stool in Molly's with her head swirling, the idea didn't seem so bad.
The entire time she was in New York, she had been counting the seconds until she was back home in Chicago. Back with her unit, back in her condo, back with Jay….The latter of that list was proving to be an issue. Hailey hadn't really been surprised when it was Jay who picked her up from the airport when she returned, or when it was Jay who picked her up the next morning for work, coffee and a bagel in hand. It wasn't surprising when the first thing Jay had wanted to do after they finished her first shift back was to meet for some beers and do 'their thing'. Hailey had wanted that too, if she was being honest. Talking over the phone, or even face-timing, just wasn't the same as being in his presence. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was that made being with Jay so…special. But then the little voice in her head reminded her that it was because she loved him. She loved Jay. She had known that all along she thought, although it wasn't something she had really faced until the moment Vanessa said it point blank in the waiting room after he had been shot. Of course she loved him, he was her partner. Those are the words she had told Vanessa, and they were the truth. She loved Jay, as a partner, they had grown extremely close over their years of working together and they just flowed so easily together. Vanessa's statement had alluded to more though, and it was in the moments that followed, the long and agonizing moments of waiting for Jay to wake back up, that she realized it was more than a platonic love. She didn't just love Jay, she was in love with Jay. The realization had rocked her to the core. It had shattered her walls that she had so carefully built and then when she was finally able to talk to him, to take him home, she almost blurted them out. She had started the conversation and her heart fluttered when she saw a brief moment of hope spread across Jay's face, hope for what she wasn't sure. Jay didn't feel the same way for her, that much was guaranteed. He was an amazing guy and an even more amazing friend. He listened to all her dark and twisty thoughts, he knew about her past and they way it affected her to this day, and yet, he never ran away. He was there, always. A constant in her life, a rock. His phone had interrupted them in that moment and Hailey was able to have a minute of clarity, a minute to stop herself from ruining their partnership, their friendship. Jay had asked her what she was going to say, but she was able to brush it off easily and he never brought it up again. That alone was proof enough for her that he didn't feel the same way. She was certain in that moment in his hospital room, that her body was radiating her feelings for him and you would have to be clueless to not pick up on that. Although, Hailey chuckled to herself and took a sip of her beer, Jay could be pretty clueless sometimes. After that moment in the hospital, Hailey had managed to securely push those thoughts down, locking them away and tossing out the key. She was able to work with him, day in and day out, without her true feelings affecting either one of them. These were lines she could stay within easily, Jay was too important to her to risk losing. Having him as her partner and friend, remaining status quo, would be all she needed. That was, until Voight sent her to New York. And then all the lines blurred. The more Hailey focused on staying within the lines of work, the more the lines of her personal life began to disappear. She spent almost every night on the phone with Jay, both of them hashing out their days at work, both admitting they were ready to be partners again because no one got them quite the same way. Hailey had said multiple times that she missed Chicago, missed working with Intelligence, missed the food…..on one particularly rough day she had even admitted to missing him. His tone had been light and teasing as he didn't let her comment go unnoticed, but she had managed to recover and get off the phone with him before she could let anything else slip out. But now she was back in Chicago, back with Intelligence and back with Jay. Voight was keeping a careful eye on her, waiting for the second she might slip up and that made staying within the lines at work pretty easy. Jay however, was another matter entirely. They had been spending almost every night, either at his place or hers, drinking beers and watching crappy TV, talking over the cases they were working, or the drama of the people they worked with, and consuming way more pizza then she cared to admit. Having him back in her life, having his presence once again be a constant that she could rely on…it was making those lines extremely hard to maintain. He didn't realize what he was doing of course, the small gestures of coffee in the morning or checking in after a particularly hard chase, the little smiles he would send her way or the jokes he would make when they were bored at work. Or even at home, whomever's that may be, when he would stretch out on her couch and his feet would brush against her leg, or if she was at his place and they would get to close in his tiny kitchen, both laughing it off. He didn't know that each of those moments would send her heart racing and make her breathing hard to maintain. He was all around her, even when he wasn't. When she was alone in her apartment, all she could picture was him there. Or if she was working with a different partner, she would spend the entire time comparing their actions to Jay's. It had been wearing down the cage she had locked her feelings in to. On multiple occasions she had felt herself ready to break and to tell him the truth. Thankfully, something had stopped her every time. But it was getting harder and harder to control. So that's why, after they had a rough case today, one they would normally meet and hash out, she had told Jay she didn't want company tonight. She had paced about her place for awhile, knowing that if she stayed he would inevitably show up. So she had grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Hailey knew it was risky coming to Molly's, knew that there was a fair chance if Jay didn't stay home, this is where he would be. But part of her was hoping that would be the case. His look of hurt when she shut him out and crushed her, he had pushed back, stating he knew this case was hard on her and that they should talk it out, but she had just built her walls up higher and kept him out. It wasn't necessarily an argument between them, but it was certainly a harsher conversation then they normally had. And she knew shutting him out would hurt him.
She sat at her table in the corner of the bar, slowly nursing her second beer, when she glanced up and saw him walk in. His eyes instantly met hers, finding her easily in the crowded bar as if he knew she was here. She followed him as he grabbed his own beer from the bar and then headed her way. She steeled herself in the chair, throwing walls up left and right, and picked at the label on her bottle. He finally reached her table, setting his beer down with a clunk before settling in to the chair across from her. He remained silent as his eyes studied her features. She could feel him staring but kept her eyes glued on the label she was picking at. Suddenly, his hand moved into her line of sight, taking hold of her bottle and setting in down in front of her. Now, empty handed, she had no choice but to look at him. Her eyes met his before quickly darting away. She felt vulnerable and realized that he would be able to see right through her.
"Hailey…" He said her name slowly, his low tone causing her heart to skip a beat. She couldn't reply, didn't trust her voice to not give her away. So instead she just met his eyes again. His eyes were filled with concern and it didn't make this situation any easier. "I thought you didn't want company tonight." He challenged her to speak, to say something, anything.
"I didn't." She retorted quietly.
"Then why come here?" He asked, not accusingly, just truly curious.
"I was out of beer." She lied, reaching for her bottle and taking a sip.
"You're never out of beer." His response brought a smile to her lips, one she tried to hide behind her bottle.
"My house was too quite." Hailey mumbled, it wasn't a lie. Her house had felt deafeningly silent.
"I would have come over…" Jay spoke carefully, not able to get a good read on her.
"I know." Hailey whispered, taking the final bit of beer into her mouth.
"But you didn't want me too." It wasn't a question, but a statement to confirm he was on the right track. Her eyes met his again and she tried to convey an apology as she stood from her stool and went to leave. His hand gently grasped her upper arm, preventing her from leaving and the slight action made her temper flare. She jerked her arm away, sending him one final look before darting out of the bar. He followed her, of course he would follow her. She was almost to her car before he caught up, hollering her name across the parking lot.
"Hailey!" Jay yelled, jogging to close the gap between them. "Hailey, wait!" He called as she reached for her keys.
"I just want to be alone Jay." She huffed, feeling tears threaten to form in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry. She wasn't even sure why she would cry, but the sudden surge of emotions was a powerful one.
"Hailey, we should talk about today…you should talk about today.." Jay pushed, not ready to give up this easy. Her eyes met his and she saw something there she hadn't before, something she couldn't quite name.
"I don't need you to be my friend tonight Jay." She lashed out, nostrils flaring and tears brimming.
"We're not just friends and you fucking know it!" He countered back immediately. His words took Hailey's breath away and she struggled to comprehend what he just said.
"Yeah Jay, we're partners Partners don't need to talk every little thing over. I'm fine!" She finished with a yell, hoping her words weren't doing permanent damage. All she wanted to do was escape this moment, drive home and then pretend that nothing had happened tomorrow. But she knew Jay wasn't going to give up that easily.
"Hailey, it's not every little thing. But this case…I know it got to you..and that's okay. I just want to make sure you're okay." His words were a mix of anger and pleading with her to not shut him out. "We don't even have to talk about the case, I just want to spend some time with you-" She cut him off before he could continue, her heart couldn't handle the way he was speaking and she knew she was going to misinterpret his words as something else.
"We talk about everything Jay. I told you I'm fine! We don't need to be together all the time." Her words came out harsher than she intended and she saw the hurt flash through his eyes. She knew she had finally pushed him to the point of anger and knew his temper was flaring. She started to speak again, to find a way to back peddle some how and undo some of the damage. "Jay…"
"Hailey….we don't have to talk about today. That's fine. But there's something else I've been wanting to ask you.." He trailed off, looking suddenly nervous. Hailey's heart was racing, not knowing what was going to come next. "I just feel like things have been different between us, like…I don't know…more? And I keep replaying that day in the hospital…"
"Jay…it's nothing." Hailey cut him off, head swirling with a wide range of emotions.
"What were you going to say?" He asked, eyes drilling into hers.
"Nothing." Hailey's eyes dropped to the ground, knowing if she kept looking at him she would break.
"It's not nothing Hailey." He pushed, seeming to know what she had wanted to say. Or at least that's what Hailey's heart was hoping for and she couldn't let this happen, she couldn't risk losing him.
"Jay…don't. Please. It's nothing. We're good. We're partners-" She stammered and Jay finally cut her off, after he had been trying to speak over her the entire time.
"Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds?!" He said loudly, still not quiet a yell. Hailey swallowed hard and stayed silent as she waited for him to continue. "I just…Hailey I know..or at least I hope that I'm not completely crazy here but…I.." He stumbled over his words, not sure how to phrase it right. He gave up and took a step closer to her. Hailey's eyes widen as she looked up at him quickly closing the gap between them. She had to tilt her head to meet his eyes now, he stood close enough she could feel his warm breath battling against the cool air around them.
"Jay…" She all but whispered his name, her words failing her as he saw his face change. His hand came up slowly and gently cupped her chin. Her heart stopped and the breath hitched in her throat. She knew what was about to happen but she couldn't stop it, she didn't want to stop it. He leaned in slowly, eyes never leaving hers and searching for a sign he should stop. She didn't give him one and he finally closed the gap between them. His warm lips pressed into hers and she felt the world explode around her. It was soft and slow at first, both too timid to make the next move. But his lips continued to work against hers, giving her the confidence to reach her hands up around his neck, pulling him slightly closer. He moved his hands to rest on her waist and she felt the heat grow within her as if his hands were warming her from just a touch. They continued until they both needed to come up for air, their breathing coming out in a matched rapid pace. Jay's eyes met hers again and she saw a sparkle to them she had never seen before. Her eyes were still wet from her earlier tears but she couldn't help the small giggle that bubbled up from her chest. He smiled down at her, looking sheepish but ecstatic.
"I hope that was-" He started but she cut him off, using her hands still clasped around his neck to pull him back in.
"Shut up." She told him with a smile before their lips crashed back in to each other.