CHAPTER 14
THE CHANGE
"Thank you so much for bringing her home, Konata-chan." Miki said with gratitude in her voice.
Konata nodded back as she stood before Miki Hiiragi in her foyer and was ready to leave. The blue-haired girl reminisced about what transpired since Kagami's confrontation at The Black Window. It was heartbreaking for both Konata and Hiyori to tear Kagami away from the store as the twin-tailed girl continued to scream and thrash in public, creating a spectacle of panic. When they were finally able to pull Kagami to the train station, she was completely drained of energy and was on the verge of passing out. Hiyori caught another train to go home while Konata decided to take the initiative for her best friend and take her home. During the train ride home, Konata let Kagami rest on her lap as she stroked her head and long pigtails.
Konata whispered supportive words to Kagami as she continued to leak water from her eyes. "I'm so sorry that this happened to you, Kagami. I can't even imagine how you feel but I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."
Konata helped Kagami from the station to the Hiiragi home, where Miki took her daughter in and put her to bed right away. Kagami couldn't speak, even when Miki tried to talk to her about what had happened. It was Konata that was forced to fill Miki in on the macabre details of how dark Tsukasa truly had become. It devastated Miki but at least she knew her youngest daughter was safe…more or less. It was also because that Konata had to take Kagami home that the blue-haired girl learned about the attack on the shrine.
"It was nothing." Konata said. "Kagami is my best friend and I wanted to help her. I just wish we could've helped Tsukasa, too."
Miki bowed to Konata and thanked her again. Konata gave the ailing family her support and left their home. Kagami needed to be with her family now and she also needed rest after such a gut-wrenching experience with Tsukasa. She was taken to her room and the distraught girl collapsed on her bed and was out like a light switch.
When Konata left the Hiiragi household, Miki slowly closed their front door and dreaded the rest of her day. She was thankful that Konata not only brought her daughter home, but was also thankful for her because she halted her ongoing fight with Tadao. Tadao was adamant about prying an answer from his wife regarding why Tsukasa was still on the loose and causing trouble for the family. Konata's arrival with Kagami brought a momentary ceasefire between the married couple, which showed its expiration when Miki walked back into the kitchen where her husband waited.
"We're not done here, Miki. I don't want any more excuses and I don't want any more lies." He was incredibly harsh in his tone. "How am I supposed to trust you if you keep lying to not only me, but also to the whole family?"
Miki narrowed her eyes at him. "I had to; you would've taken Tsukasa away from me!"
"You're damn right I would have and you should have let me, too! You saw those pictures vandalizing our shrine! Look at what she is doing to herself and to us! What if she got hurt, or worse, killed at that place she was at when those pictures were taken?! What if she was raped again?!" Tadao added. "Now I want to know why you let her walk out of that hospital after she tried to kill herself and not enroll her in Dr. Hirukawa's psychological program!"
"Stop yelling, you're going to wake up Kagami!" Miki hissed in a low and aggressive voice.
"Don't dodge the question!" Tadao lowered his voice but still hissed back.
Miki turned away. "Inori and Matsuri need help taking that garbage off the shrines. I'm going to help them."
As Miki turned to leave, Tadao rushed in front of her and blocked her path. "They're fine! You're not going anywhere until you tell me why you let Tsukasa leave that hospital and let this happen to us!"
Before Miki could respond, the phone began ringing and looking for a distraction, the Hiiragi housewife quickly walked over and snatched it and put it to her ear. "Hiiragi residence."
Tadao heard someone on the other side talking to his wife and as he was about to intervene again, Miki showed an angry face before she changed and replied angrily.
"No, this is not the home of any slut so stop calling us already!" Miki yelled and slammed the phone down, nearly breaking it in the process.
Tadao sighed. "Another one?"
"Another one."
"How did these perverts get our phone number?" Tadao asked.
Miki shook her head and her face became red again as she struggled to hold in her tears as she choked and hiccupped through her response. "That…that's my baby…they're calling a slut. My baby…"
Seeing Miki struggle and slowly slouch to the floor while holding her stomach in pain loosened Tadao's anger at his wife. That was the fourteenth call they had received since breakfast where men were asking for "the slut of Saitama" and how much it was to rent her. It tore Miki and Tadao to pieces to hear such disgusting humans speak of their youngest daughter in such a ghastly way. "Rent" her, as if she was an appliance. Tadao approached his wife and helped her to her feet again and led her to the living room to sit her on the sofa. Rubbing her shoulders, he decided to let the hospital release issue go…for now. This issue with Tsukasa in the pictures brought back the nightmare for him, too, when he watched the video of her rape at the police station and it came to the point where he simply didn't want to think about it anymore.
At the Hiiragi's shrine, the two oldest daughters were saddled with the burden of cleaning the garbage of their sister's antics. Inori, using a bucket filled with hot soapy water and a sponge, tried to scrub the kanji profanity off the other shrine buildings. Matsuri tried desperately to peel the large posters off the buildings but Patty knew what she was doing when she had them cemented instead of taped on. Matsuri had to resort to using an ice scraper to chip the posters off and with each little shard that came off, her anger grew.
"Oh man, I am never going to forgive Tsukasa for this. This is some seriously fucked up repugnant shit." She snapped and was able to tear half of one of the images of Tsukasa's kiss off a shrine.
"Please don't use such language, Matsuri." Inori softly replied as she wiped the word "bitch" off one of the buildings. "This shrine has been desecrated enough as it is."
Matsuri huffed as she crumbled the poster in her hands and threw it into the growing pile. "Either way, Tsukasa's selfishness is never ceasing to amaze me. Does she even know or even care that we are the ones that have to clean up after her? Does she even care about how I feel that I have to scrape images of my own baby sister's depravity off a sacred building?"
"I'm sure she didn't even know those pictures were taken," Matsuri said as she began work on a new offensive kanji word. "I think there's a part of Tsukasa that still cares about us and wants to change her ways, but she's being sucked into this corrupt lifestyle and she feels trapped."
Shaking her head in disagreement, Matsuri believed her bigger sister was too naïve about such matters. Unlike Inori, Matsuri was more street smart and knew about the culture that Tsukasa was indulging herself in. It was dangerous and above all, it was consuming. It wasn't something people did part-time or as a hobby. It was an expression of never-ending pain and anger towards the world and their only principles were hate and anarchy. Once someone reached a level that Tsukasa was at, it was impossible for them to turn their life around again. When Matsuri saw Kagami when she came home with Konata and learned about what happened at The Black Window, it only reinforced her theory. Tsukasa Hiiragi was lost forever.
"You can think whatever you want, Inori, but you were there with me when Konata brought Kagami home. Kagami has always been a tough and resilient girl, but whatever happened at that place with Tsukasa made her snap. I've never seen her so upset before." Matsuri added and was finally able to clear one of the shrine's walls of another poster. Looking around, she sighed as she had about fifty more to go.
"I know Kagami's upset," Inori replied, keeping the conversion between the two sisters alive. "But we have to keep faith alive. We have to keep praying that Tsukasa will find the light again. Mom and dad need to see that we still support them and Tsukasa; they don't just want that from us, they need that from us. I already think mom's faith is crumbling."
Matsuri narrowed her eyes and muttered something loud enough for Inori to hear, which triggered Inori's heart to race and eyes to explode. She dropped her sponge and quickly turned and shouted, "What did you just say?!"
The middle Hiiragi daughter glared, stood, and turned to Inori. "I said there is no God!"
"Why would you say such a thing?!" Inori snapped. "Have you ever heard of divine punishment?!"
"Grow up, Inori! You know the assholes that did this to our shrine are kicking back and laughing at us right now as we speak!" Matsuri spat. "You think the gods are going to part the clouds and punish them?! Not a chance! No divine spirit would ever let this happen to a family as devoted to them as us! Let me say it another way; the gods can go to hell!"
Inori's stomach did a back flip in her body and she felt sick. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to run and pray, she even wanted to hit Matsuri. Despite the rollercoaster of things Inori wanted to do, she kept her father's nonviolent principles that got Kagami suspended in her mind, which kept her from losing it. Without saying another retort, Inori turned again and began to scrub the dirty kanji again, only with more force and clear frustration in her movements.
The rebellious middle Hiiragi daughter rolled her eyes and resumed scraping the hideous posters off the other shrines. Matsuri may have shared her Miko job with Inori, but ever since Tsukasa was raped, her doubt in a divine entity or entities was beginning to grow. The Hiiragi family was infamous for their spiritual devotion to the gods, but why would they allow such a tragedy to happen to not only them, but also to the purest and most innocent girl in the Hiiragi family? It was so unfair. The only question Matsuri had in her mind ever since it happened was "why?" Why them? Why Tsukasa? Matsuri also felt that because of the scale of the tragedy, Inori was slowly slipping away from reality and taking refuge in religion, which the middle Hiiragi daughter saw as dangerous. It was clear that religion wasn't going to keep their family together anymore, yet Inori couldn't see that while their parents wouldn't see that. As for Kagami, what was going to befall her next? Tsukasa always acted as a pillar of strength for her and gave her a reason to be strong and protective, but now that pillar was gone. How badly was this going to affect Kagami's personality and her view of the world? Matsuri shook her head while she thought about these things and continued to scrape, knowing that as far as she could see, the Hiiragi family was trapped in a tunnel and there was no light at the end of it.
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Konata stood and waited for her train at the station to take her home. The winter air nipped at her exposed fingers as she cupped her hands and blew warm breath into them and began to rub the heat around her digits. Two young men around Konata's age approached and stood next to her, one of them holding their cell phone up and laughing at a picture.
"And you're telling me that this is on a billboard near Otome Road?" One of them asked as he looked at the image.
"Yep, I took the picture myself. I never knew there was a slut in Saitama." The young man holding the phone laughed.
"Did you call the number?"
"Yeah and they didn't like it. The woman who picked it up really cussed and said she was going to cut my dick off and mail it to my mother." He continued to laugh.
The two continued to laugh and with every snicker, Konata felt angrier and angrier. She wanted to lash out and say that was her friend they were demeaning, but it wasn't in her. It wasn't in Konata's nature to lash out or display anger, even when she wanted to. She just sighed and waited for her train to arrive and as it neared, a familiar high-toned voice sounded.
"Konata?" It asked.
The blue-haired otaku turned her head and spotted Patricia Martin. The blonde-haired foreign girl stood with a large smile on her face through her bandaged face with her bruises all but gone, which Konata instantly took refuge in her presence. Konata smiled slightly and approached her friend and coworker, trying to keep herself together. Konata had to act as a pillar of strength for Kagami after the disastrous meeting with Tsukasa, but now needed a pillar of her own. Seeing Kagami at her absolute worst took everything out of her and sought comfort in Patty as she hugged her coworker.
"Patty-chan…I need help." Konata whispered.
In the midst of Konata's depression, her face buried in her friend's abdomen, Patty slowly raised her hands and hugged the blue-haired girl and patted her on the back gently. Konata didn't see Patty form a sinister and satisfied grin when she said, "There, there, Konata. Everything will be okay for the Hiiragi's."
"Did Hiyori text you?" Konata whispered.
Patty nodded slowly. "She did. It's a shame what happened. Who would do such a thing to Tsukasa-san? Posting something like that in public."
"I don't know," Konata's voice became weak. "But what tore me up is what this has done to Kagami. She's devastated by this and I've never seen her this upset or broken up over anything."
Unknown to Konata, Patty's satisfied smirk deepened. "Now, now, Konata. We all know how strong Kagami is and she'll get through this."
Feeling refreshed and a little bit stronger, Konata pulled away from Patty and looked up at her. "Yep, that's our Kagamin. She's tough."
Their train approached and the two girls entered it together and found their seats with ease on the slow day. When the train began its route again, Patty continued to converse with Konata. "I wasn't there but Hiyorin said it was bad. Does Tsukasa really look that monstrous?"
Konata nodded. "You should know; she was wearing the same stuff when you had your quarrel with her. By the way, how are you feeling about that?"
Because Konata was only human, she didn't have the power to read minds. If she did, however, she would run away from Patty in a second. Through her misleading smile, Patty was thinking the worst about Tsukasa and the Hiiragi family as she recalled her vandalism scheme with a twinkle of pleasure in her eye. She was proud about what she did and held her head up high at the fact that she was the torpedo that was sinking the Hiiragi ship.
"I've got nothing against Tsukasa or her family." She said to Konata with a smile. "I was wrong when I provoked Tsukasa and I just hope that we can be friends again someday."
Konata formed a small smile. "You're a good person, Patty-chan. I'm glad you're my friend."
Patty secured Konata's confidence by hugging her again as the train continued to roll down the tracks. The foreign student leered out the window with Konata's face still obscured from her view and formed another conniving grin. Her thoughts were angry and resentful despite her cheerful exterior notions. You're through, Tsukasa Hiiragi. I've won.
"And don't worry, Kona-chan." Patty added, still with her high-pitched optimism as their hug ended. "I'm so confident that the police will find whoever did that to the Hiiragi shrine."
Konata's eyes suddenly shot up and she quickly turned back and stared at Patty. How did she know the shrine was vandalized? Konata only knew because she took Kagami home on her own. She also knew that Hiyori Tamura didn't know about the shrine's destruction either.
"How do you know about that?" Konata quickly asked.
It was at that exact moment that Patty knew she screwed up. Sweat began to form across her head and her breathing changed and she stuttered several times before she replied. "I, uh, I heard about it from another friend. She texted me."
It didn't make sense to Konata; it only made her ask more questions. "Really? How did she find out?"
The liquid across Patty's head began to slowly roll downward, catching Konata's attention and Patty quickly wiped it away. "Boy, are these train cars hot or what? Anyway, my friend…knows Kagami's older sisters…and that's how she found out."
Something still didn't add up as the train began to slow as it approached its first stop. In an investigative voice, Konata said, "Patty-chan…would you mind forwarding those messages to me? I would like to know more about Kagami's family shrine's destruction."
Fighting the urge to hyperventilate, the train suddenly stopped and the doors opened. Patty-chan saw the opportunity and quickly sprung to her feet and as she ran towards the open door, she called back, "Sorry, Kona-chan, this is my stop! I'll see you at work tomorrow!"
Patty disappeared in the sea of people and the doors shut again. Konata sounded a suspicious hum to herself as she replayed everything that had just happened. As the train moved again, Konata was more suspicious of Patty when she realized that this wasn't Patty's stop.
"I smell something," Konata whispered to herself as she squinted her eyes.
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Kagami suddenly awoke with a violent start in her bed and was breathing hard. The echoes of her sister's laughs accompanied by the taunts of her new friends at The Black Window continued to make her tremble with horror. Drenched in a cold sweat, Kagami tried to warm herself by crossing her arms across her chest and rubbed her freezing limbs.
Looking at the clock, it was only 3:00 pm and she pulled herself out of bed and limped to the bathroom. Filling the sink and following it up by throwing warm water on her face, Kagami looked up at the mirror and stared deep into her eyes. These swirling pools of picturesque indigo shades trembled and she suddenly saw herself as Tsukasa. They were pretty much the same person, right? They were twins after all. Fraternal, but still twins regardless. Maybe Tsukasa wasn't gone from the Hiiragi household after all. It was still possible for the Hiiragi's to keep moving on with their lives minus one family member, but it would take extreme dedication on Kagami's part. She ran her hands through her long hair and concocted an idea to keep Tsukasa in her life, both internally and externally.
Miki returned to the house after bringing a tray of hot tea to her oldest daughters as they continued to clean the garbage off their shrines. She knew that Inori and Matsuri had a fight just by the atmosphere she felt when she brought their drinks but wanted to let them work it out themselves. They were sisters going through an atrocious time, just like everybody else and they needed the support of each other. If they couldn't count on each other, they couldn't count on anyone.
When Miki returned, she was greeted by the smell of food cooking. The Hiiragi housewife entered the kitchen and to her surprise, she saw Kagami standing over the stove and monitoring a pot full of boiling noodles. Kagami's trademark twin pigtails were gone and long her hair was tied behind her back in a ponytail as she smelled the noodles as Miki approached.
"Look, mommy, I'm making a late lunch for everyone." Kagami said but to Miki's surprise, she said it in a forced and unimpressive sweet-sounding voice. "I want to learn to be a better cook, just like you, mommy."
Miki didn't know what to make of this situation as she slowly approached Kagami. "Um…Kagami…are you feeling okay?"
Kagami turned to her mother again and to her repeated shock and this time concern, Kagami forced a large smile on her face that looked unnatural for the tsundere girl. "I'm feeling great, mommy. I've never felt better. I hope sis will enjoy the miso ramen I'm making."
Miki felt her heart palpated upon hearing the last sentence. Her breathing increasing, she kept her eyes locked on Kagami and began to feel for a chair near the dining table and finally found one. She slowly sank into her chair and sat down while keeping a passive face but on the inside, she wanted to cry. She knew where this was going.
"Kagami…you're scaring me." She calmly said.
Kagami turned again, still with her disturbing smile on her face. "Whatever do you mean, mommy?"
Miki gulped and breathed in a large portion of air and exhaled it slowly. "This is about Tsukasa, isn't it?"
Kagami's smile remained.
"Look, I don't know what happened at that store, but you don't have to do this." Miki said calmly. "You don't have to pretend you're someone you're not, Kagami. You're my Kagami Hiiragi and I want you to stay that way."
Kagami continued to stare at her mother until the oldest Hiiragi twin suddenly turned and walked to a pantry and collected several bowls. She brought them over and held one out to her mother. "Mommy…would you please try my ramen? We can make it better together. We can also try new dishes together."
Miki tried desperately to fight back her tears. She forced a smile on her face and reluctantly took the bowl from Kagami. "Thank you, dear. I'm sure it'll be delicious."
The lunch incident drove an awkward division between the Hiiragi family members for the rest of the day. Everyone was now officially worried about Kagami. They had no idea what that confrontation with Tsukasa looked like but apparently, it was ugly enough to cause Kagami's mood to swing so suddenly. The incident was also powerful enough to make Tadao put his argument with Miki regarding Tsukasa's hospital release on hold.
By 9:00 later that night, everyone was ready for bed. Inori kept herself occupied by reading a book in her room, Matsuri listened to her mp3 player while reading a magazine. Tadao rested his body in bed while watching a game show on the television while Miki also read a book. The silence between the married couple was chilling for them and they felt their marriage was on the verge of collapse. They acted and felt more like strangers a little bit every day since Tsukasa was raped.
"Did I lock up?" Tadao asked himself and began to pull himself out of bed.
"I'll check." Miki quickly stated, closed her book, and lifted herself out of bed. She quickly left the bedroom, as if she was waiting for an excuse to distance herself from her husband as Tadao sighed in frustration and rested again.
Miki checked the front door and saw it was locked and turned to walk back upstairs but something suddenly caught her eye. A light was on in the kitchen and she walked in to investigate. When she got there, she realized that despite the light, she was alone in the kitchen. Strange…I could've sworn I turned off all the lights, Miki thought to herself as she walked towards the light switch and as she reached for it, something else caught her eye.
A pottery jar sat on one of the counters in the kitchen that held all the cooking utensils and it was always neat. It held the spatulas, whisks, wooden spoons, brushes, and ladles and was never out of order. This time, however, the utensils were scattered all over the counter and Miki scratched her head, trying to figure out what transpired here. She spent a lot of her time in the kitchen for her family and was very familiar with not only all the utensils, but also all in her possession. As she packed them away again, she noticed her big pair of scissors was missing.
Suddenly, she heard a bang upstairs in the bathroom. A horrible thought suddenly exploded in Miki's mind when she heard it. Tadao recognized he was missing a razor blade from his shaving kit and it led to a devastating discovery in the bathtub. Now Miki's scissors were missing and Kagami was acting strange and alone in the bathroom. She didn't have time to scream for Tadao or the other Hiiragi daughters.
With a thunderous dash, Miki tore through the hallway and ran up the stairs and her heart pounded faster when she saw the door was closed with the light on inside. She grabbed the doorknob, expecting it to be locked. She nearly shattered the door when she learned the door was unlocked and she forced herself in and nearly lost balance. Miki caught herself before she fell and her head was facing the floor as she breathed hard.
Her breath suddenly froze when she saw the floor. It was purple. But it wasn't solid purple. Strands of a purple material was scattered all across the floor and it looked like a purple curtain was sent through a shredder. Miki's heart nearly exploded when she realized it was hair. She suddenly heard a snip and she looked up and it was as if she stepped into a horror movie when she saw what was going on. Kagami Hiiragi stood in front of the mirror and her long hair that was always divided into twin pigtails was no more. Her fingers gripped the missing scissors and she continued to snip away at her hair, which was now very short, resembling Tsukasa.
"K…Kagami…?" Miki squeaked.
Kagami stopped the cutting and turned to her mother, which only furthered Miki's dismay. Her eyes were like two waterfalls of tears and Kagami was trying desperately to fix her hair to look like Tsukasa's. Her disturbing smile was still glued on her face and she lowered her hands, one still gripping the scissors and she began to giggle the way Tsukasa used to.
"Look, mommy, I'm Tsukasa now!" Kagami shrieked. "Now we can be a family again!"
Miki screamed for her husband at the top of her lungs and he was on the scene in an instant, as were Inori and Matsuri, who also joined their mother in screaming when they saw Kagami's self-mutilation. Tadao pushed Miki aside and stepped forward as he tried to keep himself under control. Kagami still held the scissors in her hands and Tadao didn't know what was going through her mind so he wasn't taking any chances.
"Kagami, drop the scissors." Tadao ordered in a calm but stern voice.
"I'm not Kagami, daddy. It's me…Tsukasa." Kagami giggled again. "I'm Tsukasa…I'm Tsukasa…"
The scissors suddenly slipped from Kagami's grip and Tadao seized the chance and charged. He kicked them away and grabbed his daughter by the shoulders. "Kagami, stop this right now. You're not Tsukasa, your name is Kagami."
Still with a twitching smile, Kagami shook her head. "No, daddy. I'm Tsukasa. Remember the Miko outfit you got me for Christmas when I was six? I do."
"Snap out of it, Kagami!" Tadao yelled and shook his daughter.
"Daddy, that hurts!" Kagami shrieked. "Please don't hurt your little girl like that!"
Panic engulfed the Hiiragi family but Matsuri kept her cool. She rushed in and pushed her father aside, grabbed Kagami and said, "Here, try this."
With swift and fierce movements, Matsuri flattened her palm and slapped Kagami across the face, making the smack echo in the bathroom and silencing everyone. The movement was so bold and so harsh, it even felt as if the entire globe stopped spinning. Matsuri however knew what she was doing and held her little sister by the shoulders and waited.
Kagami stared into space with a glowing red mark forming on her cheek and she rapidly began to blink rapidly. Her eyes began to change again and they suddenly began to dart around the room. Kagami's eyes suddenly met with her older sister's and she said, "Matsuri?"
Kagami said her name in her usual voice and Matsuri breathed a sigh of relief and asked, "Are you feeling better, Kagami?"
"Better? What are you—" Kagami asked but when her eyes met the bathroom mirror, the indigo pools changed again. She saw herself in the mirror and her long hair was gone. Her hair was only finger-length at this point and she looked at the floor. The floor was littered with the countless hair strands and the white tile was now purple.
Kagami breathed hard and suddenly screamed at the sight and fell to her knees but Matsuri was there to catch her. Matsuri pulled her close and began to rub her head, more of her purple hair falling from her scalp. In Kagami's cries, she said, "I'm a monster! I'm a monster!"
Matsuri's anger and hate rose as she shook her head and the rest of the Hiiragi family moved in to hug Kagami. Matsuri inhaled and verbalized, "No, Kagami, you're no monster, and neither is Tsukasa. It's Ryosuke that's the only monster here."