CHAPTER 16
THE SECOND STRIKE
Whiteness. That's all Tsukasa Hiiragi could see as she looked forward. She was stuck in an infinite limbo of white. There was nothing around her except white. She couldn't hear anything either. It was as if she was hovering in the clouds as she looked around. All of a sudden, her head began to hurt. The ailing Hiiragi twin clutched her head in pain as it pulsed repeatedly and her vision suddenly began to clear.
Streaks of blue began to part the sea of white that blocked her vision and she suddenly saw a small, pink item fall in front of her. It was a cherry blossom petal. It was followed by another, and then another, and before Tsukasa knew it, thousands of the pink petals were falling all around her. The white continued to fade away and the day became clearer and clearer.
Voices suddenly erupted in her mind but she couldn't tell who they were or what they were saying. It was an avalanche of white noise as Tsukasa's vision returned. To her surprise, she was now standing in the middle of a crystal blue pond in the middle of a beautiful park on a summer day. Cherry blossom petals continued to fall around her as she watched them depart from the trees in the park.
She suddenly heard the sounds of children laughing. Turning her head, she saw two young girls running in the park. One had longer hair than the other divided into pigtails and they looked similar to each other. Tsukasa suddenly realized she was looking at herself and Kagami. Ignoring the fact that she was somehow walking on water, Tsukasa slowly stepped towards them and it brought back a memory. She remembered this day. It was her and Kagami's twelfth birthday and they were spending it in a park with their family. If her memory served her, she looked to her right and saw Miki and Tadao setting up a picnic lunch for the girls while Matsuri and Inori helped.
Tsukasa didn't know what to do as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She wondered if she was simply asleep or if she was still tripping. If she was still tripping, this was a polar opposite hallucination of what she was used to when she was doing coke, pills, smack, pot, whatever. It was incredibly peaceful. She could feel the sunny day's warmth across her face and a cool breeze gently graced her by playing with her darkened hair. Birds chirped happily and continued to breathe life into the tranquil July 7th day as the Hiiragi twins continued to play.
As Kagami ran and Tsukasa pursued her while the two exchanged laughs, Kagami approached a large tree and began to round it. However, she didn't hear or see the new girl approaching it on the other side, also running. When the budding twin-tailed girl rounded the tree, she collided with a girl her height and age with brown hair. It was a violent clash of the foreheads that knocked both girls on their buttocks' and they instantly began to rub their heads to ease the pain.
"Hey, watch where you're going, kid!" The new girl exclaimed in an obnoxious voice.
Kagami looked up and saw a girl standing above her with brown hair, golden eyes, and a small fang-like tooth at the front of her mouth. Kagami's anger flared and she quickly stood and retorted, "You watch where you're going, kid!"
Tsukasa quickly approached and stood behind her older sister. The youngest Hiiragi daughter crouched below Kagami and held onto her shoulders as she watched the scene unfold with timid eyes. She knew her sister had the tendency to become a hot-head every now and then, but she didn't want a fight to unfold on their special day.
"Um, sis, we shouldn't be angry today. Mommy and daddy and our sisters worked hard to make our day extra special." She said timorously.
Seeing that her little sister was scared and had a point, she calmed herself for her family's sake and turned back to the new girl. She sighed and added, "Look, I'm sorry about being angry. I think it was an accident on both our sides. My name is Kagami and this is my sister, Tsukasa."
The new girl's angry expression also melted away and was replaced with a more placid complexion. "Well…fine, I accept your apology and I'm sorry, too. My name is Misao. Misao Kusakabe."
Before Kagami could reply, their mother approached them with her usual cheerful and kind attitude. "Oh my, who do we have here?" She asked with a smile.
"This is Misao." Kagami replied and the brown-haired girl stood tall with pride for Miki Hiiragi.
"Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Misao-chan." Miki said sweetly. "Today is Kagami's and Tsukasa's birthdays. We would be happy if you would join us for lunch and cake."
The generous offer completely washed away all anger the erratic girl once had against Kagami and she happily took the Hiiragi family up on their offer. It didn't take long for Kagami and Misao to become fast friends and before they knew it, they were laughing and playing with each other in the birthday celebration.
The grown Tsukasa continued to watch it from her isolated spot on top of the pond and she sighed. She shook her head to try and snap her out of the memory but it was no good. She was still there but suddenly, the picturesque vision before her began to fade and everything became white again. As the image of her once perfect family began to turn to dust, Tsukasa saw something as the crystal pond she stood on also turned to white. She saw a very short and petite woman in a white dress that flapped in the wind and could barely see the green in her eyes and the blue of her very long hair.
(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(- )-(-)
The whiteness engulfed Tsukasa's vision again and it suddenly became bright and as her pupils began to function again, she realized she was staring at several burning light bulbs hovering above her. Her hearing suddenly returned and the voices she had heard earlier became clearer and it didn't take her long to figure out that she was in a hospital. She could also hear the digital beeps of working medical equipment and her senses began to return.
Though she was awake and conscious, Tsukasa still felt like a piece of used toilet paper. It felt like her head was being squeezed in a vice, her sinuses were burning like napalm, she felt cold, she couldn't stop trembling, and her sweat felt like countless pinpricks against her pale flesh as it seeped through. Withdraw was an ugly process and Tsukasa was in the midst of it after nearly dying just outside the hospital doors.
Tsukasa's motor skills returned and breathing slowly, she slowly lifted her head off her pillow and looked around her hospital room. For the third time, she found herself stretched out on a hospital bed with tubes and instruments attached to her body. She suddenly saw movement to her left and quickly glanced over and saw a familiar face. Dr. Hirukawa stood above her writing notes onto a clipboard until he looked at her.
The two stared at each other for several seconds until Hirukawa broke the silence. "That's strike two, Tsukasa-san. One more and…what will you choose?"
Silence was Tsukasa's only retort as she rested her head back on her pillow. She slowly turned her head away and continued listening to the medical beeps. "What day or time is it?"
"It's 6:30 in the morning," he replied and placed his clipboard aside before pulling a chair to her bedside and took a seat next to her. "I was about to punch out for the night only a few hours ago until I heard a car beep its horn outside and you can imagine my surprise when a nurse called for a crash cart and a gurney. Next, you could've imagined my horror when I saw it was you thrown onto the concrete outside like you were a piece of garbage and being wheeled in."
Tsukasa rolled her eyes. "Irony. I feel like garbage right now. What the hell kind of shit did you dope me with?"
"It wasn't easy undoing the damage you did to yourself and it took a lot of medical drugs to stop it." Dr. Hirukawa said. "That stuff you inhaled should have killed you, Tsukasa-san. I remember a similar case years ago where someone in your spot took only half of what you did and he fell over dead as a bedpan. You shouldn't even be on your second strike right now, Tsukasa-san."
"What was it I actually took?" She asked with fatigued curiosity.
"A combination of heroin, meth, and ecstasy." Dr. Hirukawa said. "You know you're not supposed to inhale that, right?"
Tsukasa glared. "So I've been told."
"Anyway, I decided to take on an extra shift when I saw it was you." He added and yawned. "And that doesn't sit well with the constitution of a man my age."
Hearing of her old pediatrician's compassion for her didn't faze Tsukasa one bit. She was at a point where she honestly didn't care about anyone, not even herself, anymore. When Dr. Hirukawa saw that his words were being met with deaf and ignorant ears, he sighed and stood to walk out of the room.
Before he opened the door, he paused and said, "I'll tell your family you're awake."
Tsukasa rolled her eyes and groaned. "Oh god, now I have to deal with all of those assholes."
Hirukawa opened the door and no sooner did it open halfway, Miki charged through it and tore into the room. Her eyes were once again throwing tears and she wasted no time hugging Tsukasa's head as Tadao, Matsuri, and Inori followed slowly and less emotionally. Kagami meanwhile waited outside as it was still too soon for her to face her sister. Miki kissed Tsukasa's head several times and continued to wail over her until the youngest Hiiragi twin forcibly freed herself from her mother's grasp.
"Drugs this time?! When will it end, Tsukasa?! When?!" Miki cried relentlessly. "Did you know our shrine was vandalized by these horrible pictures of you stripping at some club and kissing this other girl?! Do you even care about what you're doing to yourself?!"
Tsukasa remained still until she calmly replied, "It wasn't a club."
"Who gives a shit, Tsukasa?!" Matsuri exclaimed angrily, drawing everybody's attention to her. "Look at yourself and look what you've done to all of us! Do you know how badly you hurt Kagami yesterday because of your new lifestyle?! She was so upset and so distraught over you treating her like that that she came home and suffered nearly an entire mental breakdown! She even cut her hair so she could look like you and try and pretend to be you so we could all go back to the way it used to be!"
Despite Matsuri's loud and emotional outbreak, it didn't seem to inflict any emotion into Tsukasa. She continued to stare into space until she opened her mouth and replied, "I bet sis makes one ugly me."
Matsuri was ready to lunge forward and strangle her little sister, as was Inori. Tadao however blocked Matsuri's approach. "That's enough from all of you! I need to talk to your sister alone for awhile. Wait for me outside."
The three Hiiragi women heard Tadao's command and heeded it without fail. Miki quickly escorted her daughters out of the hospital room and closed the door, leaving Tadao and Tsukasa alone. The silence between them was fierce and chilling as the father couldn't take his eyes off his daughter. He searched desperately for any life in Tsukasa's eyes, but they still remained as cold as two burned out embers.
"How are you feeling, Tsukasa?" He asked as he still stood in front of her.
"I nearly died in a drug binge while laying down and doing incredibly dirty things to another girl. I'm on cloud nine." Tsukasa snapped.
It was clear to Tsukasa that Tadao wanted to join Matsuri in strangling her. Tadao remained calm however and pulled another chair to Tsukasa's bedside and slowly sat down. Their staring contest continued as Tadao folded his hands together and rested them under his chin. The ticking clock in the room and the beeping medical machines were the only forms of noise and entertainment in the room until Tadao spoke again.
"After all we've done for you, Tsukasa. After all I have done, your mother has done, and your sisters have done. After all the love, the kindness, the support, the affections, the material possessions we gave you, the roof over your head, the food in your stomach. Everything." Tadao said calmly yet sternly. "After all we've done for you, and after you became the victim of a crime that you never deserved…you did all this to us. I don't even know what to say or to do anymore. You are no longer the daughter I raised from birth. You have done unspeakable things. The proof of that was put all over my shrine the other day. Who is that girl in the pictures?"
Tsukasa formed a sinister grin. "She's my toy. What can I say, daddy, I know how to make her squeal."
Instead of wanting to strangle her this time, Tadao simply wanted to cry. "Your family is hurting big time, Tsukasa, and not just because of what you are doing to us. We're in a lot of financial trouble. Ever since you were raped, no one has come to visit the shrine and all our donors have severed our ties…but there still is hope for us. The Prime Minister's granddaughter is getting married at our shrine in a few days."
"And why are you telling me all this?" Tsukasa asked, still with resentment in her voice. "Kagami told me that you banished men from home so why should I care?"
Tadao slowly nodded. "I saw the video."
Tsukasa's eyes twitched.
"The video of your rape. After the rapists hanged themselves, the police found a phone on them that had the full video on it. I saw it at the police station," Tadao paused to fight the urge to gag. "I now know what you went through, Tsukasa. I can't even begin to imagine how scared you were…or the unspeakable physical and mental pain you were in. What they did to you…it wasn't human. After I saw it, I came home and I cried while hugging our family photo album with your pictures in it. I began to question my faith and I kept praying nonstop until now. That was when I was given this opportunity to perform the wedding and your sisters are going to also participate in it. I wanted you to, too. But then I began to think; how can I let you after all these things you put us through? I saw the video of my youngest daughter's brutal rape, and yet I don't know if I should feel sympathy for her anymore. That hurts a father a lot when he's forced to ponder such questions."
"…And?" Tsukasa asked with a scowl on her face.
"And I'm not going to ask you this…because I need you to tell me this, Tsukasa." Tadao said and cleared his throat to deliver something no father should ever have to ask his daughter. "I want you to tell me what I should do because I don't know anymore. Should I love you or not and should I ask you to come home or not? Because I want you to be a part of our family, I really do. But I have to do what's best for your mother and your sisters and I could not afford the publicity of you being there the way you are now and with what you've done. So the ball is in your court now, Tsukasa. What should I do?"
More horrific silence fell between the father and his youngest daughter. It was hard to believe that it had to come to this. To the point where the father was at a complete loss of what to do and had no more ways of helping his daughter. This was the threshold and Tsukasa's absolute last chance to save herself from herself. If she were to take it, she could rehabilitate herself and rejoin the once harmonious and united family, but if she didn't, Tadao would be forced to wash his hands clean of his youngest daughter.
"It's a pretty pathetic thing, isn't it, dad?" Tsukasa finally broke the silence. "When a father has to force his own daughter to make a choice that will mean the difference between a life as a family or as a life of severed ties. How could something like this find its way to the Hiiragi's family shrine?"
Tadao slowly lowered his head and nodded. "I agree with you, Tsukasa. It is pathetic. But if it weren't for what you have done to us, we wouldn't be here."
"I'm not talking about me, dad." Tsukasa sneered. "I'm talking about you. You are the pathetic and worthless one."
Hearing his daughter's harsh words forced a stake into Tadao's heart as he lifted his head up again. This time, he released tears from his eyes and saw his daughter burning her last bridge. "Tsukasa…please…don't do it."
"I expect that you'll sign my release papers from this damn hospital and let me come home to collect the last of my things." Tsukasa coldly stated. "I no longer want anything to do with you or your family. Now if that's all, Tadao, I believe you have some papers to sign."
That was it. He didn't know what else to do. His estranged daughter had made up her mind and established that the caring, soothing, air-headed personality that was once Tsukasa Hiiragi was gone. Defeated and devastated, Tadao slowly lifted himself up, his knees cracking from the nerves that were rattled to the core. He stared at Tsukasa one last time because he knew as soon as he turned away, it would be the last time he would ever be able to look at her. Searching her eyes still, they still remained as lifeless as two burned out embers. They were cold and dark, just like coal.
As soon as Tadao broke eye contact with his former daughter, he let two endless waterfalls flow from his eyes as he walked out, where his family waited. Seeing the reaction on his face triggered a similar response on Miki's part, as well as Kagami's. Inori quickly hugged Kagami, who embraced her back while Matsuri kept her tough as nails persona by crossing her arms across her chest and shook her head. She frowned at Tsukasa's request, but at the same time wasn't surprised.
Sitting alone in her hospital room, Tsukasa breathed a sigh of relief that she was finally able to wash her hands of her family. The only thing on her mind at this point was going back and getting her diary. Contemplating what else she should take, Tsukasa suddenly remembered the dream about her twelfth birthday party. That last person she saw before she regained consciousness, the young-looking woman with the blue hair and green eyes.
That person I saw…it couldn't have been. Was that really…Kona-chan?
At Tsukasa's final request, Tadao released her from the hospital a few hours later after she was given as close to a clean bill of health as possible by the doctors. The drugs may have been out of her system, but the poison that was corrupting her mind continued to spread like the plague that it was. Tsukasa didn't even want to ride in the same car as them anymore and chose to walk home from the hospital to collect her things before she would leave.
Leave home forever…but where would she go? She had cut the ties with her family and made it clear that she also wanted nothing to do with her friends at high school. The only place she could go to was back to Yuka Miyakawa and her junkie friends. No one called Tsukasa out on this because they feared if they asked, that would be her response. It didn't even seem to bother her that Miyakawa and her friends just threw her out the car door and left her to die the previous night. Tsukasa didn't even see it that way, which only furthered everyone's confirmation that the youngest Hiiragi twin's sanity was completely gone.
When Tsukasa returned home, she entered a house full of ghosts. Miki was trying to make breakfast, Inori was helping in the kitchen, and the rest of the family members were functioning without her. It was as if they were total strangers at this point. Tsukasa didn't care anymore. She huffed to herself and walked up the stairs towards her old bedroom. When she slid the door open and walked into the darkness, she felt the cold of the lifeless and abandoned room that was once kept warm with her joyful attitude. Those days were over.
Tsukasa approached her bed and began to dig under the mattress until she found what she was looking for. She grasped the hardcover of her diary and slowly pulled it out. It was still intact and undiscovered as she held it in her hands and suddenly found more inspiration to write another passage. Taking a pen and putting it to the paper, she began to jot the latest development in her life. It wasn't everyday that an all-around good girl and Miko was banished from a family shrine and even at her own request.
"Why are you doing this?" The question vocalized itself from behind Tsukasa, nearly making her shriek and drop her diary. She instinctively slammed it shut and turned her head and saw Kagami standing in her doorway.
Something was different about her, though. Her infamous twin pigtails were gone and her hair was as short as Tsukasa's. Kagami's face also had a look of despair, similar to the one she showed Tsukasa at The Black Window. The two fraternal twins stood each other down, the youngest with dyed black hair and grotesque clothing, the other with matching shorter hair and shattered self-esteem.
"I was right," Tsukasa sneered with a frown. "You are absolutely pathetic, Kagami Hiiragi. Look at what you did to yourself and for what? To try and keep me in your life? And everyone says I'm the one that needs help? You better check yourself, bitch."
Kagami lowered her head and glanced back at Tsukasa reluctantly, as if she was afraid of her.
"Are you afraid, Kagami?" Tsukasa glared as she continued to hide the diary behind her back.
"I am afraid, Tsukasa. I'm afraid for and of my little sister." Kagami said in a trembling voice, fighting the urge to cry again. "I'm afraid of what's going to become of you…I'm afraid of what you're going to do…and eventually where you'll end up."
Tsukasa slowly sat down on her bed and when Kagami averted her eyes again, Tsukasa took the opportunity and slid her diary under her pillow. "You shouldn't worry, Kagami. Just wash your hands of me as easily as I did to you and everyone else."
Every word that crawled out of Tsukasa's mouth was like one more dagger to the heart, but what she was asking of Kagami was impossible for the oldest Hiiragi twin. "I can't do that, Tsukasa. I could never wash my hands of you. You know what the funny thing is? Despite all that you've done to us since the first meltdown you had at dinner, or all the fights and times you've been in the hospital, I still love you. You're my sister; what you and I share is a bond that could never be severed no matter how hard you try and you know why? Because I will never let it be severed. I can only imagine you'll go back to those losers at The Black Window, so you can expect many, many, many visits from me every day."
Hearing this angered Tsukasa deeply. She wanted rid of her family, yet Kagami was determined to not let that happen. Tsukasa rose from her bed and walked to Kagami until the two twins' faces were only inches apart. It was a grueling staring contest while Kagami's eyes showed pain, Tsukasa's could only show death.
"You know I never want to see you again after this, Kagami." Tsukasa said coldly and quietly. "If I ever see you again, I will kill you."
To her surprise, Kagami formed a small grin and slowly reached behind her own back. She grasped something and when it came into the light, Tsukasa was slightly startled to see Kagami holding a large kitchen knife. The youngest Hiiragi twin took a slight step back as Kagami quickly took Tsukasa's hand and forced her to grasp the knife. To Tsukasa's further astonishment, Kagami led the sharp side of the blade up to her own neck and held it there as Tsukasa continued to hold the handle.
"Do it then, Tsukasa." Kagami said, still with pained eyes. "Please kill me. I told you the other day that I could kill myself without you. But I think it would mean more coming from you, my fraternal twin sister, Tsukasa Hiiragi. To think…we went from playing together in the sandbox when we were kids, to you slicing my throat as the last family bonding experience."
The standoff pursued and the pose the Hiiragi twins were in was truly horrifying. Tsukasa held the knife up to her own sister's neck and if she violently moved it, it would open Kagami's neck. Taking this opportunity of silence, Kagami continued to stare into Tsukasa's eyes using her deepest analytical ability. She suddenly saw something that she didn't expect to in her eyes. Tsukasa was…afraid. She didn't want to do it. Kagami quickly glanced at the knife's handle and saw her sister's grip was beginning to loosen.
My god…I can still save her.
Completely oblivious to the potentially deadly standoff between Kagami and Tsukasa upstairs, Tadao and Miki sat at the breakfast table with Inori and ate while Matsuri showered in the bathroom. Never had they had such a quiet breakfast and they all knew why. They were officially out one family member today.
Hearing the phone ring was a welcomed break from the silence and Tadao quickly rose from his seat to answer it. He quickly answered it with the standard "Hiiragi residence."
"Good morning, Tadao-san. This is Kenji Urashima." The voice said.
It suddenly struck Tadao. Today was February 1st. Today was the day their personal accountant would call them and inform them that the charity money would be collected. The charity that the Hiiragi family was dedicated to, which involved helping homeless children in inner-city Tokyo. It was always an uplifting event that brought a smile to the faces of countless children, as well as the Hiiragi family. Kenji Urashima was their personal accountant and was specifically in charge of the special bank account that held the money for the children.
"Good morning, Kenji-san. Forgive me but I completely forgot about today but I'm still good to deliver the check for the public appearance. Same time, same place, correct?" Tadao asked.
"Actually, sir, that's not why I'm calling you." Kenji said on the other side. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news for you."
As his personal accountant delivered the most upsetting piece of information to Tadao, his heart pounded, he began to sweat, and his whole world was set ablaze.
The Hiiragi family civil war would begin at the end of his phone call.