CHAPTER SIX
"Hey, Bec?" The redhead calls.
"Yeah?" The Dj answers as she spins around to face a smirking redhead.
"Oh fuck!"
The bearded Dj stands in the middle of the room stunned. Chloe's smirk turns into a gentle smile as she slowly stands and makes her way over to the brunette.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck" Beca mumbles as she starts to pace in front of the redhead. "Oh my god! How could I be so careless? Has anyone else figured this out? What the fuck am I gonna tell Theo? Fuck. He's going to have a heart attack" the Dj stops pacing and brings her hands to either side of her face nearly covering it but open enough to see through still. Chloe tentatively moves forward and reaches for the brunette's hands.
"Becs, relax" she brings Beca's hands away from her face and cradles them in her own. "Stop freaking out. It's just me. No-one else knows and no-one else is going to find out. C'mon" she says all but dragging a still shocked Dj to the bed and forces her to take a seat on the end.
"Bec?" Chloe kneels in front of a lifeless Beca and carefully moves her hand to cradle the brunette's face. She feels the prickly hairs of the Dj's beard and curiously looks closer. She ever so slowly begins to pull the fake hair until it releases from the brunette's skin. Beca winces.
"Sorry sweetie" she rubs the slightly reddening skin on Beca's face and then removes her wig and hair net too.
"H…" after what seems like a full minute the Dj tries again. "How?"
"There was something that seemed familiar about Titanium that first night. I just assumed it's because I've seen some of your interviews on TV before. And then when I met Beca at Tom's party and then again for coffee I felt…" Chloe pauses, unsure whether or not to be 100% truthful. "We got along and it was easy. Then tonight with Titanium it was easy too. I had the same feeling. Then you called me Beale. My last name isn't on my Bella Profile for privacy reasons and the only other person to ever call me Beale in such an affectionate way was you". The redhead becomes shy and looks down at her hands as she reaches again for Beca's. Both women feeling instant comfort and sit in silence for a few moments.
"Bec" the emotion in Chloe's voice is palpable. Beca's skin erupts with goosebumps just with one word. "There's always been something about you. Ever since we were kids I was drawn to you and you didn't even know I existed. But for me, it was like I had a sixth sense because I could feel you around me before I saw you. Or I could hear your voice when it was quieter than the rest of the noise. And when you'd walk past me, you didn't even have to make eye contact but I would instantly become nervous and wish for you to look my way". If the Dj's heart races even as much as a beat more than it is right now Beca thinks she just might have a heart attack. "Even when I left town you never left my mind. I'd always wonder what you might be up to and even though I hated getting my letter about coming back to Barden and becoming a Bella part of me was ecstatic. I couldn't wait to see you again, I had a plan that I'd force you to be my friend". Beca's racing heart plummets at the word 'friend'. "But I got back here and you were gone… Until you weren't" Chloe slowly looks up from their intertwined fingers and smiles shyly at the Dj.
"Bec".
There it is again. That nickname that has made the brunette feel sick every time she's heard it since Jesse died. But right now the only nausea she feels is from the butterflies exploding deep in her stomach. The redhead rests her forehead against the smaller woman's. Piercing blue eyes dart back and forth between stormy blue. Both women afraid to move. The only sound left in the room is shallow breathing and racing heartbeats that both women are unsure whether it's their own they hear or the others. Chloe risks a glance down to Beca's lips and then back up to her eyes. She searches them one last time before finally gathering enough courage to do what she's wanted to do since that last day of middle school. She leans forward at an agonizingly slow speed and presses her shaky lips against the softest lips she's ever felt. Her heart is racing so much she can't stop herself from shaking. Worried that she's messing up the kiss she's spent forever dreaming about she slowly begins to pull away, eye scrunched tight and she chastises herself for being so nervous. She's almost removed her lips all the way from Beca's when the brunette finally gets over her initial shock and realizes that Chloe's pulling away. The Dj quickly breaks her right hand away from the redhead's and grabs Chloe behind the neck pulling her back in, drawing a surprised squeak from the older woman. All hesitation is long forgotten and soft lips slide against each other like they've been doing this for years. The brunette swipes her tongue along the redhead's lip and is granted instant access into Chloe's mouth. Both women lose themselves in each other, pulling themselves closer, moans filling the room.
Suddenly Beca breaks the kiss and stands abruptly. Chloe takes a second to catch herself; if it weren't for the brunette's swollen lips she would've thought that the kiss had never happened. Chloe tentatively stands on shaky legs as Beca starts pacing again.
"Bec" this one rips Beca's heart in two because she can all but hear the tears in Chloe's voice. "Bec, please talk to me". She finally stops pacing and faces the redhead. Her heart stops. Those ocean blue eyes that she loves look so frightened.
Wait. Loves? Fuck.
"Chloe" the Dj begins but can't find any other words. The redhead closes the small distance between them and pulls Beca's hand into hers once again.
"Bec"
"We can't".
Two words. That's all it takes for Chloe to go from cloud nine to heartbreak.
"Bec, please don't do this"
"How are we supposed to do this Chloe? Do we not live in the same chauvinistic society?" The Dj laughs bitterly. "Because the one I live in doesn't allow women to think of themselves as anything other than the property of men. How the fuck are two women suppose to be together?". The flood gates burst and Chloe's eyes start a stream of endless tears.
"I… I don't know Bec. But that doesn't change the way I feel about you"
"The way you feel about me? Chloe, how can you feel anything about me? I'm broken. I don't know how to love someone. I don't know how to be in a relationship. You deserve someone way better than me".
"That's not up to you to decide Beca. I get to decide who's good enough for me and you are! Remember that first night I met Titanium? You told me that I am capable of so much more than just satisfying a man. You convinced me that I am worthy of much more than what society deems acceptable of women. That I can achieve more in my life than being married to an 'honest man'" the redhead scoffs. Beca smirks at this. "You made me believe it Bec, and I want to live it too. I want to live my life the way I want to! With who I want to! Because to quote the great Dj Titanium 'society is fucked up' and I don't give a fuck about anything anymore…" the redhead shyly looks into the Djs stormy blue eyes once more. "That's a lie. There's one thing I give a fuck about. You".
Beca searches the redhead's eyes to try and find any insincerity she can to excuse herself from all the pain that is inevitable with their doomed relationship but she comes up short. She breaks eye contact and looks towards the ceiling. She forces her eyes closed as a tear drops from her left eye.
"I'm sorry"
To say both women are devastated would be an understatement. Chloe has spent the entirety of the day after in her room crying. She feels dehydrated from the excessive amount of tears she's cried and yet she still manages to muster up more. Beca on the other side of town has been stuck in her room all day as well, a few tears but not as many as the redhead. She's tried to keep herself busy in her makeshift home studio to keep her mind off a certain redheaded beauty but keeps failing.
"Ahhh Tiny Mouse! It's been less than 24 hours. Aren't you afraid you'll seem too eager beaver?"
"Fuck you" the Dj snaps as she angrily takes the calculator from Kommissar.
"You could if you wanted but you're apparently too busy with a certain redhead…"
9567190
"Oh my god!" Chloe jumps and clunches her heart like she does every time the brunette pops up in her room. Beca hears the redhead's sharp inhale when she realizes who's in her room. The Dj's guilt increases tenfold when she takes in the Chloe's appearance. Her ocean blue eyes that are normally crystal clear are bloodshot. Beca's heart shatters. She did this. She caused the redhead to feel pain when yesterday she would've punched anyone who even thought of hurting Chloe. Chloe stands from the bed but doesn't move any further.
"I…" Beca sighs and rubs her hands harshly over her face in frustration. "I'm not good with words Chloe" she explains as she removes her wig and beard. "I'm not good at showing my emotions or even understanding them most of the time. I'll say right now that this probably won't be the last time I run away and try to avoid them and I'm sorry for that. Sorry in advance and sorry for yesterday…" the redhead slowly closes the distance between them until she's standing right in front of the Dj. "Sorry is such a shitty word. Sorry…" Beca scoffs which causes Chloe to grin begrudgingly. "But I am sorry and I've been trying to figure out what to say to you but I suck at emotions. Sorry. Ahh, fuck why can't I stop saying that fucking shitty word" the brunette sighs exasperated, and the older woman giggles. Beca tentatively reaches out and grabs Chloe's hand thankful that the redhead didn't pull away.
"Can I play you something?"
The grin that overtakes the redhead's face is enough of an answer that has her dragging Chloe to the piano. The Dj takes a seat at one side of the stool and pats the other side for the taller woman to join her which thankfully she does.
"I couldn't sleep last night and was even more of a mess this morning too so I wrote this"
The brunette's fingers move effortlessly along the piano as she begins to play a beautiful, slow melody. She repeats the melody twice before she begins to sing softly.
My scars may be invisible
But everyone is a brick in my wall
You'd think that a girl with Daddy issues
Would jump at the chance to be with you
Someone so calm, someone so beautiful
And you might say that I'm afraid
To take a chance to look your way
But if I had money I'd put it all on you
Beca plays the melody softer.
To show me how to love
Cause I'm scared that's not enough
To feel this hole in me
There's a chance that I'll give up
So come and take my hand
Finish what I started
I won't say this again
Show me how to love
A cold teardrop that fell onto the redhead's arm is the first time she registers that she's crying. How does she have anything left in her tear ducts after today?
I want to be hugged
But I don't like to be touched
Can you see the irony?
Am I asking for too much?
But I feel like I'm drowning
I'm running out of air
You're running after me
And I know this isn't fair
The next cold teardrop Chloe feels is on her opposite arm, she looks down and realizes that it's too far away for it to be her own. Her head snaps up to see Beca's porcelain face flooded with tears as she plays the piano harder with emotion and sings like this is the last song she'll ever sing.
But show me how to love
Cause I'm scared that's not enough
To feel this hole in me
There's a chance that I'll give up
So come and take my hand
Finish what I started
I won't say this again
Show me how to love
The piano slowly fades and all that's left to be heard in the room are teary sniffs from each woman.
"Bec"
There it is again.
"I fucking love you"
A watery laugh comes from the redhead as she brings her hand up to turn the brunette's chin to face her. As soon as watery eye meets watery eye Chloe captures Beca's lips. It's needy. It's wet. But it's perfect.
"I love you too" the redhead whispers between kisses.
One week later
It's only been a week and yet the girls are already inseparable. Chloe and Beca have breakfast dates, as 'friends' of course, and when they can't have breakfast they have lunch. They become fast 'friends' and when they feel that they've spent too much time together in public Titanium goes to visit Chloe. It's the perfect alibi.
Beca is full of spirits as she walks through the corridor of Baker Hall. She had a breakfast date with Chloe, went and done some work in her studio that she's particularly proud of and now she's going to visit Chloe as Titanium. Today is a perfect day and the petite Dj can't remember the last time she was this happy. She stops walking.
Jesse. The last time I felt this happy was one of my last days with Jess.
She sighs but for once she looks back with a smile and not with resentment at losing her best friend. The brunette feels unstoppable. Nothing can ruin this day. Not even Kommissar.
"Tiny Mouse! I was hoping I'd get the pleasure of seeing you today"
"Did someone miss me?"
"No. Actually, my neck has finally stopped aching cause I haven't had to look down on you lately"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Give me the damn calculator please"
"Ahhh no can do my little fairy…" the beautiful giant smirks evilly. "I'm afraid you're too late. Your precious redhead already has a full room".
Sorry for being MIA! Hope everyone is doing as well as can be atm.
A big thank you to a good friend of mine for allowing me to include a song she wrote in this FF. As soon as she played this song to me I fell in love with it and instantly thought of Bechloe. She's reading this FF cause she knows I wanted to include her song so if you guys like it please review and say so, I know she'd appreciate it! Hope you guys like this chapter! -Les x