October 28

Makarov was in the shooting range with SCW. After what had happened in Poland Helianthus had expressed her doubts about the effective stability of OTs-14 and Makarov certainly couldn't blame her, even she would never have expected a clash between her friend and AA-12.

" You missed the target twice. You really suck at aiming, huh? " SCW Teased.

" Forgive me, I'm not really focused. I've many things on my mind, right now. "

" Salad? "

" Groza. " Makarov put the gun on the table and turned to SCW. " When I heard that Groza had attacked AA-12 I was shocked, I never expected it from her. Something must have happened. "

" Maybe. But I bet everything will work out. " SCW said smiling.

" You don't seem worried, SCW, can I know why? Do you think it's a joke or something like that? " Makarov asked slightly annoyed.

" My Little Rov… don't you really understand? It doesn't matter what OTs-14 did, what matters is why she did it. We're humandroids, in a docile and feminine aspect we conceal pieces of metal, this is the truth, and what we do can only be condemned on the basis of motives. " SCW Explained.

" You're wrong. The motivations behind an action are irrelevant. What matters is what you do. The motivations are subjective and everyone acts following what they believe is right or wrong. "

" If true, we wouldn't be different from criminals. "

" In fact, we're not different from them. " Makarov replied.

There's no justice. This was Makarov's philosophy. No matter how many claim to be fighting for something right, justice doesn't exist. She had accepted to work for Helianthus only to be able to protect her friend OTs-14 Groza, she didn't want to see her end up in the hands of Sangvis Ferri and for this she chose to lie to anyone. For this she killed Mosin Nagant. Not out of pleasure or hate, but only because she had to do it to fulfill her ultimate purpose.
Makarov reached the cell of OTs-14, the girl was sleeping, didn't disturb her then RPD entered.

" Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. I wanted to speak to OTs-14. She's sleeping? "

" Yes. What's happening? You seem worried about something. Do you have to talk to Groza? "

" Yes. It's about Mosin Nagant. She doesn't remember our mission in Warsaw. I don't know why but she has no memory of what we did there. I don't know why. Maybe she was badly damaged and ... "

" Hmmm ... the accident. Do you know anything about it? "

" The accident? What are you talking about? "

" There was an accident during a simulation and Mosin Nagant was hit in the head, something may have gone wrong during repairs. Nothing to worry about ... however ... I advise you not to talk about it with Groza. "

" Why? "

" Do you think she has time for these things? She's in prison, awaiting trial, serving her sentence, I don't think it's necessary to make her worry about Nagant. I'll speak to her at the most opportune moment. " She turned to OTs-14. " After all, I too was very attached to Nagant and I want her good, as I want Groza's good. "

" All right. Maybe you're right. I'm going, then. "

Makarov was left alone to watch OTs-14 sleep. That angelic face like that of a princess hid the ugly face of arrogance and rebellion. Makarov was sure that one day OTs-14 would be destroyed with her own hands and it was her purpose to prevent her at all costs.
That night, Makarov, in the shower, thought about the moment she pointed the weapon at OTs-14, in order to protect her friend she was willing to kill her, to shoot her in the head to put an end to her suffering. The water ran over her naked body, with her hands she spread the soap on her arms, body and legs, that liquid soap was like a membrane that covered her smooth skin and that skin, in turn, was just a membrane that covered the circuits and the metal parts ... but above all the poison.
She was made of poison. She was a poisonous creature. Toxic. Deadly and evil as a snake.
After drying her hair, she put on her blue pajamas, turned off the lights and lay down on the bed, waiting for sleep to end her dark thoughts.
But it was useless.
In the dark she saw only blood around her: on the walls, on the furniture and on her hands. Blobs of blood dripping and from which crawling worm-like beings came out, red, with bowls full of sharp teeth, the creatures clumped in front of her eyes and formed a girl identical to her who aimed a gun at her and with a grin she shot her in the head.
Makarov woke up. Sweated and heated. She left the bed and the room to go to the kitchen in search of a salad to eat. Normally she didn't eat meals in the middle of the night but she needed to stay awake. At that moment SCW entered in a nightdress holding a plush eagle.

" Little Rov? " Asked yawning. " What are you doing in the kitchen? "

" Nothing important. " She replied, embarrassed.

" Ah ... so that salad is there by chance? I deduce that it came out of the fridge alone and placed itself on the table right in front of you. "

" Don't be silly! "

" I know, salads don't walk ... not yet. " SCW sat down next to Makarov. " So, Little Rov, are you a little hungry? "

" I'm not sleepy. That's all. "

" And does salad make you sleep? "

" No ... I'm just ... eating to pass the time. "

" Cool. How come you can't sleep? "

" I've nightmares ... that's all. "

" Nightmares, huh? What kind of nightmares? "

" Just nightmares. But why are you interested? "

" We're friends, aren't we? Of course I'm worried about you, Little Rov. "

" Well ... let's say I followed my duty, but I did things that could be bad and ... I think I've guilt. " Explained Makarov.

" Do you feel guilty? "

" Yes. No. I ... I think so ... but ... "

" Guilt feelings persecute criminals not the people who are just. If what you've done is right then you can't feel guilty, but if what you've done is wrong ... "

" It's not all that simple, SCW. The world isn't divided into black and white. There's a gray scale. Sometimes doing the right thing means committing horrible deeds. I only did what I had to do ... "

" Yet you have nightmares. " SCW commented with a smirk. " Don't you think it's a little too convenient to say that the world is a gray scale? I don't think so. If this were really so, it would be useless to try to administer justice. There must be a division between good and bad. Between black and white. The excuse of the gray scale is adopted by those who don't want to admit that they're wrong or by those who refuse to do the right thing. "

" Don't you find it naive to see the world in this way? Justice is administered only on the basis of laws not on the basis of what's right or what's wrong. Nobody acts following those parameters because those same parameters, right and wrong, have been sanctioned by laws but don't exist independently. To say that morality is a gray scale is not an excuse ... it's the truth. To say that human behavior is divided into black or white is, however, a simplification. "

" You're contradicting what you said this morning at the shooting range. "

" No, I'm not. Do you really believe that the reason behind an action counts? Many people do right things for the wrong reasons and wrong things for the right reasons, many wrong things can bring something good and many right things can bring something bad. People like you want to analyze the motive behind an action but I don't care, because I know that nobody acts following a particular moral. Everyone acts by following only what they BELIEVE is right or wrong. "

" I'm sorry you think so. So why do you think you've guilt? "

" Leave me alone. " Makarov stood up and left the kitchen.

Nobody acts with good or evil in mind. Only actions count. Makarov believed it. She had only followed orders but at the same time she was worried about Groza and wanted her well. Could such a motive be subjected to a moral judgment? But if only the actions really mattered then Makarov was wrong because she had shot Mosin Nagant and was lying to her friend. But if she didn't, OTs-14 would probably have rebelled against humans and would've become a Sangvis Ferri. So it was right.
The nightmares, however, speak for themselves.
Nightmares were proof that Makarov was not without sin. Her actions had prevented a betrayal but were also worthy of a traitor. To dwell on the reasons, for her, was pure moralistic dialectic. Her actions were in that gray area: because if on the one hand they had done good, on the other they had done evil.
Makarov returned to her room, sure that she would be able to sleep but as soon as she closed her eyes she saw Mosin Nagant run to OTs-14 in tears, OTs turned to Makarov, raised the gun and shot her accusing her of having betrayed her.
The girl woke up again in the middle of the night. She left the room and headed for the prison. OTs-14 was awake, sitting on the bed, holding a bottle of wine in her hand.

" Who gave you that bottle? " Asked confused.

" A gift from Kryuger. I can't use a bottle of wine to escape but at least relieves tension. " She replied.

" I see ... " Makarov took a chair and sat down near the cage. " Groza ... what do you think matters most? A motive behind an action or the action itself? "

" Why do you ask? "

" Curiosity. "

" I believe they both count. The intent and the action. "

" Hmm ... what you did do to AA-12 ... it's right or wrong for you? "

" Do you think I'm evil? "

" What you did speaks for itself ... your action, attacking AA-12, would've done nothing good for our team and made the mission fail. You didn't attack her because you were under someone's control and because of you Alchemist and Dreamer ran away. As if that wasn't enough before attacking her, you had a discussion with the two of them. However, I had noticed that you two didn't get along and therefore it's possible that the attack was only an end in itself. An action neither good nor evil. "

" You ask yourself unnecessary questions, Makarov. " OTs-14 replied in an icy tone.

" Do you refuse to answer? "

" Do you really want me to give you an answer? "

" Yes. "

" Well, then first answer a question I wanted to ask you for a while: what happened to Mosin Nagant? "

That question paralyzed Makarov.

" What do you mean? "

" Do you think I don't have eyes? When we went on the mission to Warsaw and Mosin Nagant pointed the rifle against me at that shop I realized that someone had ordered her to do it, she has always been too weak of spirit to take the initiative. Only two people could've ordered her to shoot me: RPD or you. "

" Why not someone else? "

" Who? Persica? Kryuger? Helianthus? If they had wanted to dismantle me they would've done so without asking me for permission, especially considering my current situation. I'm not one who hangs out with a lot of people so no T-Dolls except the two of you could or would have planned my murder. It could have been RPD. She's a bitch, yes, but she's not someone who needs to rely on another person ... especially if we're talking about killing someone. She has a weapon that could kill me in no time and if RPD wanted to kill me she could have done it when we were alone in Moscow. So who remains? You. You, Makarov, have only one gun, you've never been one who exposes herself and you're not an expert murderer. Moreover, you're the only one who would've been able to influence Mosin Nagant so much that you induced her to point a rifle at me, her friend. She would never trust RPD but blindly trust her friends ... like you. So ... are you hiding something from me, Makarov? "

" Do you want an answer? " Makarov stood up and headed for the exit.

" I demand an answer, Makarov. "

" Do you know what I like about gray areas? They have no definition. " She turned to OTs-14 showing a victorious grin. " You may think that I'm guilty, Groza, but without confirmation your will remain only an assumption and I bet you don't have the courage to kill a friend if you rely on only one conjecture. You know me but I know you and we both know that a crying girl is hiding under that strong girl's mask. "

" And under that mask of yours hides a snake. "

" Maybe ... or maybe not. I don't hurt my friends, Groza. This is something that only you can do. "