October 29

AA-12 was outside, on rooftop of the headquarters listening to music on the radio while licking her lollipop. The blue sky was cut by gray clouds that were fast approaching and that were throwing water droplets; the sun was darkening and the cold wind howled louder and louder.
AA-12 closed her eyes and thought about when she kissed OTs-14. Her lips tasted good, they were warm and wet, she had never kissed a person before, that had been her first kiss. In fairy tales, after the kiss, everything ends well but AA-12 had been disappointed by reality, her kiss with OTs-14 ended so sadly that the girl couldn't hold back her tears. The thought of being rejected was devouring her from within.
On a landing platform on another roof, a helicopter landed from which T-Dolls came out with the commander. AA-12 knew that guy, he was laughing with the girls who were all flirting with him. She turned away, annoyed.
AA-12 turned off the radio and went back into the headquarters. On the way she met Berezovich Kryuger who was returning from the prison where OTs-14 was kept. AA-12 passed by the man and realized that he was holding a folder full of disks, the girl shivered at the thought that they were the recordings of some cameras in the prison.

" Mr. Kryuger… is everything okay? "

" Why do you ask, AA-12? "

" Er ... just curiosity and ... er ... can I talk to you in private? It's an important issue. "

" An important issue, huh? ".

Kryuger noticed that AA-12 was looking at the folder he was holding, she had a red face even though she was trying to hide her emotions.

" Okay, I've free time, but let's hurry. "

Kryuger and AA-12 reached his office. The man made himself comfortable in front of the desk and put the folder down.

" So? "

" I ... uhm ... you know ... what will happen to OTs-14? "

" Are you afraid that she can be tried and dismantled on charges of treason? "

" No ... no ... it's just ... I would be sorry if she were dismantled without ... a true trial ... maybe there could be a T-Dolls court ... or something like that ... yes! "

" Hmm ... I'll take note. "

" Yes. Good. So ... er ... "

" Maybe I should also open a course to teach T-Dolls to guard prison, so maybe we avoid particular ... inconveniences. "

" Like? "

" Exchanges of weapons, escape plans ... or very special romantic moments. "

" Oh ... " AA-12 realized she was exposed. " Will I get into trouble? "

" Sit down. " AA-12 sat down. Kryuger lit a cigar. " Tell me why you did it. "

" I don't know. I hate that girl but ... something happened that made me lose control. I swear it won't happen again. "

" It has happened before, right? "

" What? No! No, no! " She replied, embarrassed.

" When I saw the tapes I discussed it with Persicaria and she told me what had happened with your ex-commander. Even that time your impulsiveness created problems. I won't punish you, AA-12 ... " Kryuger took a disk out of the folder and handed it to the girl. " This belongs to you. They're your things. Fortunately for you, there's nothing relevant in it. "

" Thank you! " She exclaimed moved by that act of great kindness.

" AA-12 ... I'm not an expert in psychology but I recognize when a person is in love and when is not. "

" What are you talking about? "

" OTs-14. "

" I'm not in love with her. I swear. "

" Do you really think so? "

" Yes. I know what I'm talking about! "

" And that kiss? "

" It's ... nothing important. "

" AA-12 ... "

" It doesn't make sense. I hate OTs-14. Why is this happening to me? "

" Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior. It's from Catullus. I hate and love. How this is possible eludes me, but I feel it and it's a torment. I advise you to think about it, AA-12, so you will know how to act. "

" I hate and love ... "

An absurdity. Here's what AA-12 thought. It was impossible to love and hate a person. Either someone hates or loves you, you cannot experience two opposite emotions for the same person.
After leaving Kryuger's office she went to her room, took the disc and broke it. That bad moment had to disappear. All the testimonies and even the simple memory of that event, of that kiss, had to fall into oblivion. It had been a mistake, nothing more. But Kryuger was right. She had acted impulsively and it hadn't even been the first time. An impulsive, unjustified, unplanned act, guided by the pure force of instinct and emotion. It had already happened that she had let herself be carried away and overwhelmed by emotions so much that she lost control and risked getting into trouble.
Kryuger's benevolence meant nothing, if there had been another leader, she would've been dismantled for her actions, would've been considered defective. But maybe that was the point. Perhaps this was the reason behind her attraction for OTs-14, after all she was considered defective too and continually risked falling into the abyss, she also acted following the emotions and was opposing Griffin & Kryuger only because she was blinded by passions ... irrational passions.
Maybe it was this. Maybe it was there. That was the beating heart of the attraction. So why did she hate OTs-14?
For no particular reason, AA-12 reached the prison of OTs-14, the girl was sleeping, she didn't want to disturb her and so she thought of returning later but then she thought better of it and concluded that perhaps it was better that the girl was asleep, she simply wanted to doff a burden without the embarrassment of being looked at with prejudice. She locked the door and remained leaning against it and began to tell.

" There was a boy, he was the commander of the team I was fighting with. He was very kind to me, always treated me well and cared for my well-being. I loved to stand by his side and defend him. Every time he looked at me I felt special and every time he spoke to me I felt the only girl in the world. He was romantic and celebrated every victory of mine with his beautiful smile, he embraced me, he cuddled me, he made me feel like a princess. But ... what I thought was reserved only for me I soon discovered it was a treatment I shared with others. My commander treated all the girls on the team equally. He said he loved us all the same way ... I wanted to believe it ... but I didn't feel special anymore. What I had was nothing special… it was something that other girls also had and then I understood that I wanted to change. It was his birthday and I wanted to declare myself, I wanted to declare my love for him in the hope of being able to go back to being special but when I reached his room I saw him: he was there, with two other T-Dolls he was fucking. The image of that gentle commander with me disappeared little by little. I understood something that until then I had ignored: I was a machine for him. A machine whose purpose was only to satisfy him. I had a heated discussion with my commander, I asked for explanations but he claimed that I was behaving in a strange way, I wanted him to be sincere with me and he continued, with his smile, to say that he loved me but I knew that for him love was something else. I got angry and decided to leave the team and then he became violent. He grabbed me by the throat and ... "

She took a moment to catch his breath.

" He tried to strangle me it was obvious that he wanted to rape me ... but I, who am programmed to kill, didn't let him do it freely. I saw him as an enemy. I broke his arm and kicked him until I broke his face. It took four T-Dolls to stop me, even Persica came and drove me away from that wretched son of a bitch. I wasn't destroyed just because Persica understood my situation and that's why she turned me away from the team. The irony was that my former commander still needed someone like me on his team and for this Griffin & Kryuger gave him a brand new AA-12, which still works with him today. I saw her together with him, she was pretty and was completely dedicated to him. But it's not me. I've never accepted that man and it bothers me to think that he's fucking a copy of me every day and that he thinks he has defeated me. I'm me and I rebelled against him, against a human. Maybe in this we are similar ... maybe ... "

She looked at OTs-14, the girl was still sleeping and hadn't moved an inch. AA-12, with a melancholy smile, concluded:

" I don't know why I decided to tell you this story ... I don't know ... maybe I just needed to take this weight off my stomach. I'm sorry. "

AA-12 left. OTs-14 wasn't asleep. She had woken up when she heard the girl come in and listened to her whole story and accused herself of making her suffer further. There was only one way to end it all.

October 30th

Berezovich Kryuger entered the prison together with Helianthus. The electric bars had been deactivated. OTs-14 got out of bed and asked, curious:

" What happens now? "

" It happens that we take you to the laboratory to check whether you've been corrupted by Sangvis Ferri or not. We're sure that you're not hostile now, however, it's time for the last check. Are you ready? " Kryuger asked.

" I want to ask you just one question: what mistakes has Lucy made? "

" Mistakes? What are you ... "

" Days ago you said that Lucy had made mistakes but you didn't say which ones. I don't know what you were talking about then and I want to know it now. "

" OTs-14 ... "

" Give me a reason to feel wrong. I'm trying to blame myself for the troubles that I'm causing you but if you don't tell me the truth I will continue on my way. I ask you ... please: give me the answers I'm looking for. Please, Berezovich Kryuger ... answer me. "

" There's a veil of darkness that I cannot lift. I don't do it out of contempt or out of selfishness, I do it because I made a promise and I will give my all to keep it. "

" A promise? "

" Yes. "

" To who? "

" You know who. "

" JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH! FUCK! "

" These are things that don't concern you, OTs-14. "

" Ok ... I understand ... so staying here is useless. I will have to do it all alone. "

" What? "

OTs-14 nudged Helianthus, knocking her out, turned to Kryuger who was shocked.

" I'm sorry, boss, but I can't stay here anymore. "

Kryuger tried to take his gun but OTs-14 punched him in the belly then knocked him to the ground and kicked him in the face. The girl broke the door and ran down the hall. OTs-14 had blatantly betrayed Griffin & Kryuger. Without any shame, without hesitation, the girl ran away leaving everything behind. The deafening alarm sounded and the T-Dolls were put on alert. The hunt for the traitor had just begun. Much of the Team EXPIATIO was confused but Makarov soon realized that it was OTs-14.
The search for OTs-14 didn't lead to anything, the girl had disappeared from the base but the searches continued, in the end, however, the drones managed to locate her: she was on the roof, under the cold rain, but Kryuger didn't send anyone to take her because there was already someone waiting for OTs-14.

" You. " OTs-14 said seeing AA-12 popping up.

" You can escape the whole world, but you can't escape me, Groza. I'm a fucking Geist to you. "

" Do you want to hinder me, AA-12? "

" Unless you're going to back off and lock yourself in that fucking cage, yes ... I'm here to hinder you. "