Charles laid in the bed designated his, staring up at the ceiling in the dark room. He did not know how long he had been here, his mind unable to calm down enough to find rest. The night had settled, quiet and deep, yet he felt as if it were stretched out before him like a vast crossing he was ill-equipped to undertake, oppressive and heavy. He glanced to his right. Erik laid dozing, his auburn curls spread out against the canary pillowcase. Few words had been exchanged between them. After they had both climaxed in the study, they stumbled their way to the guest bedroom where they continued their coupling, heedless of the fact that it would seem odd and unseemly for the prince and his mystery guest to disappear after only one dance. Propriety had been the furthest thing from their minds, retreating into their shared desperation as they had the first night they slept together. This was not the same kind of deep yearning. There was a sense of melancholy despite their mutual admissions of love. Charles could not help but feel this may be the last night they got to do something like this.
Lord Frost had a valid point in many ways. On the one hand, he wanted to believe that no one would be so hurt if he and Erik were together. If Erik's entire kingship was truly undermined by Charles, he had more power than he ever imagined himself to possess. On the other hand, their relationship would not just affect Erik's kingship, it could affect the man Erik was. He did not want him compromising his character or beliefs so that he and Charles could be together. Already Erik was doing so, perpetuating the idea of true bondage when he didn't even believe in it. It seemed a small thing, but perhaps it wouldn't always be. It could set a bad example, undermine his moral goodness to his people and thus his kingship. Anything he did would reflect on his family, his house, and the throne in perpetuity. If Erik were less than beloved because of Charles, that would negatively reflect on Anya, Wanda, and Pietro when they reached majority. It would affect David, make him a pariah for something he could hardly control.
He knew he was being horribly pessimistic, but he could not indulge in his usual enthusiasm at present, couldn't see the possibility of a positive outcome. He let out a sigh and rubbed a tired hand over his face.
"You're thinking too loudly."
Charles glanced beside him at the older man. One of his green eyes were cracked open as he watched him contemplatively.
"Was I projecting?"
"A bit. Have you slept at all?"
"No."
Erik made a small noise of disapproval as he moved over to Charles' side of the bed until he was hovering above him, held up on his uninjured arm. Charles' eyes were drawn to Erik's now unbound shoulder. He traced the angry, red raised skin from where the musket ball entered. It wasn't a catastrophic wound, but Erik could've been killed. What would Charles have done if he had? He would've been beside himself, grieved and distraught and heartbroken beyond belief. Yet, here he was, rejecting Erik when it seemed like they had a chance. A dubious chance, but a chance. He sighed again, leaning up to press a light kiss to the wound before dropping back to his pillow, not meeting Erik's eyes. His gaze was drawn to the flowers sitting on the nightstand. Red chrysanthemums, white carnations, pink peonies, and blue irises. Their meanings weren't lost on him: love, luck, faith, and hope. He wished he could believe in that more than he did at present.
"What are you thinking about?" Erik asked after a moment of quiet, his long fingers tracing across Charles' cheekbones.
"What do you suppose I'm thinking about?"
"Humour me."
Charles took a deep breath, his eyes still locked on the petals glowing in the moonlight the open window let in.
"I am arguing with myself about valid cynicism versus naïve optimism."
"Which side is winning?"
"They are neck and neck for the moment."
"Can optimism truly not win the day?"
"It can, but should it? Would that bear too much equivalence to selfishness?"
"Can love ever truly be selfish?"
"Without a doubt."
Erik's line of inquiry was thus far given with careful detachment, but his next question allowed Charles to glean some of the vulnerability hiding beneath the surface.
"Whom would you offend by living with me?"
Charles' lip twisted, bitter and wry.
"Myself, if it is not for the right reasons."
"What would be the wrong reasons?"
"Venal desire. I have lived my life ruled by my baser urges in the past. In doing so, I hurt my sister, left her vulnerable, failed her. I can't help but see this situation as another form of that same crossroad I found myself at then. This time it is David I have to think of rather than Raven."
"Do you think I would ever hurt him?"
"No, but you are not a man unto yourself. A part of you belongs to Genosha, belongs to your people, just as they belong to you. I am loath to intrude on that sacred communion. They may react poorly if they view David or me as an interloper in said bond. I don't want him caught up in the politics of it all."
"If we were together, Genosha would embrace you. They would see that you are a rare and beautiful soul with ideas that would only help the progress and growth of this country, not hinder it."
Charles didn't respond to that. They were quiet for a long while, Erik's fingers drawing unidentifiable patterns into his skin. He could feel the alpha's gaze on him, heavy and meaningful, but he still did not look his way. Erik shifted, his digits retreating from Charles' face.
"Can I have your hand?" The alpha inquired.
He quirked a brow but relinquished the limb. He looked over as he felt Erik slipping a warm ring onto his fourth finger. He held his hand to his face to examine it. Erik had been wearing this ring as one of his adornments upon his pinky in the hall. It was a gold band with a single diamond inlay around which was a floral pattern engraved into the metal. It was simple, elegant yet lovely.
"How does it feel? It's not too loose, is it?"
Charles shook his head wordlessly.
"It was my mother's. It was passed to me when she died along with a few other pieces she owned."
He continued staring at the ring as it sat on his finger comfortably. The diamond shined in the moonlight, creating an effect that thoroughly captured his attention, so Erik's next words caught him off guard.
"Marry me."
Charles' eyes widened at the sudden declaration as he snapped his head up to look at the prince.
"What?" He practically squeaked out, his voice higher than normal in his shock.
Erik quirked an amused smile at Charles' reaction.
"I had a plan, you know? I was going to take things slowly, cautiously, show you that you can trust me with your heart, with your love, with your life. Lord Frost has rather made sure that that timetable is exponentially pushed up."
"What does that have to do with you proposing to me?"
"I'm a man of actions more than I have ever been one of words. You are the more eloquent of us. I could spend hours telling you how much I love you, how much I want you, and I don't think that you would believe me. Whether it is a lack of trust in me or yourself or both, I'm unsure. Either way, I think you believe that I would never choose you. Not really."
Charles opened his mouth to refute the statement before closing it again.
"So, I will let my actions speak for me more than my words. If it is a lack of belief in my conviction or my depth of feeling for you that holds you at bay, let this be the proof you need. I don't want you leagues away on a continent with some man who isn't me. I want you to stay. And I don't just mean in the city. It would be just as worse to walk past you one day as if we are strangers, as if we haven't shared what we have, as if we mean nothing. I want you to stay here, in this castle, with me. Marry me."
"B—But your council, your kingship… there are expectations, Erik. You have a duty as king to marry someone who is of a match with you."
"Who could be more of a match for me than you?"
"Anyone! I am a liability that your young kingship can't afford."
"You are the man I want, the only one who has caused my heart to move with a passionate love for the first time in three years. We belong together. You, me, Anya, David, Wanda, Pietro, we are all bound to one another in affection. I'm thoroughly convinced of it now and shall not be moved from the position. We are of a kind, you and I. Whether we are connected through earthly love or cosmic divination makes no matter to me. I want you by my side. Marry me."
Charles let out a laugh of disbelief that bordered on hysterical. He had felt close to the brink of madness a few times tonight on account of this man. Was this what love did to you? Was it always meant to be this feverish and frenetic, this fraught? Surely not.
"It's completely insane. You're insane."
"I'm okay being insane. Charles…"
Erik moved his hand to caress his cheek, rubbing his thumb over the arch of it.
"I have thought of it and even attempted to convince myself to let you go, but I cannot live a lie. Can you? Do you think you will be able to ingratiate yourself in Boston society, into another loveless marriage, knowing full well the potential for something so much greater lays across an entire ocean?"
"What do you intend to happen?" Charles asked in kind, dodging the question entirely.
Erik was not to be deterred.
"I intend to pass through life with you at my side. I intend to make a home here with you. I intend to claim you and mark you as mine. I intend to marry you before the entire kingdom, so they know you are mine. I intend to provide you with as much safety and happiness as I can. I intend to love you until I die."
"It's a fantasy. It can't happen," Charles protested.
"It can if we will it. You don't give yourself enough credit, but I recognize your brilliance, compassion, care, natural sympathy for others, and your unpolluted mind. I admire you for it. I know you would have the people's best interest at heart. I know you understand how the game of politics is played. I know you can handle the nobles at court. You have already intrigued the council in the space of a few minutes. A few more and they will see what I already have, the value you will bring to this country, the throne, and our future."
"You're biased. You can't objectively speak about this. You're seeing what you want to see because… because you love me."
Charles felt his throat constricting as he finally admitted that aloud. It was something of a revelation to hear it from Erik. Not the first time someone had said that to him, but the first time Charles ever believed them and reciprocated. Erik was a prince who could have anyone he wanted and yet Erik wanted him, Erik admired him, Erik loved him, Erik wanted to marry him. He was certain men and women the world over would curse him for a fool for dallying to answer. He wondered what Raven would say. She would probably be horribly amused by this— Charles, driven by love for someone rather than lust.
"I love you. I love my children. I love Genosha. Those three things don't need to be mutually exclusive."
"You stubborn fool, you would condemn us both to a lifetime embattled if we stay together. You realize that?"
"I would willingly court condemnation for you. I would stand before anyone in this world and freely admit what is in my heart. They may snicker and sneer, they may regard me coldly and turn their backs one by one if they wish. I will know who my true friends are then, and I will be better for it. We would face the world together. It would be worth it. You are worth it."
For reasons Charles only belatedly fathomed, those words struck him dumb, clenching around his heart and mind in a way that even Erik's confession of love did not. Charles was worth Erik taking on entire centuries of tradition for. He was worth it to him the same way Magda was. This was real. It wasn't biology. It wasn't trauma and tragedy manipulating their emotions. It wasn't down to convenience. Their love was true.
Charles leaned up and pressed his lips to Erik's. The kiss was soft and sweet and tasted of possibility. He pulled away and wrapped an arm around Erik's back so he could have the proper leverage to rest his forehead against the metallokinetic's. They stayed in that embrace for only a minute before Erik was compelled to speak.
"Is that a yes?"
Charles opened his mouth to answer, but the word got stuck in his throat and panic seized him. He took a breath and let the answer fall away. He wasn't ready to respond with an affirmation or a denial.
"I need time to think. Can you wait?"
Disappointment glinted in Erik's eyes before it vanished.
"I will wait forever if you ask."
A rueful smile alighted Charles' mouth.
"I'm not as cruel as all that."
He moved to take the ring off, but Erik stopped him.
"Keep it. Whether the answer is yes or no, I want you to have it."
"It was your mother's, I can't accept it."
"Please?"
Charles opened his mouth to deny him again before closing it. If this was the only affirmative answer he could give him, he might as well. Erik pressed forward and their lips met once more in a solid yet undemanding caress.
"I will be sequestered for the next week, starting today actually. The children and I are to sit shiva for my father for seven days. It's a customary mourning period in our religion. We won't be leaving the designated dwelling. We can have visitors, but maybe that will give you the time you need to think."
Charles nodded and pulled Erik into another kiss, this one more insistent as he shifted so the alpha was settled between his legs, their naked bodies flush against one another.
"Charles?" Erik whispered against his lips.
"You'll have to leave soon. Make love to me once more before you go."
"Anything you want," Erik responded.
There was an implicit and sincere promise and weight behind the words that caused a shiver to go through his body. Erik pressed a kiss to his lips in answer and shifted so they were comfortable and in no danger of hurting the prince's shoulder or Charles' recently healed ribs as their bodies began reacting to their new intent.
He resolved to lose himself in their passion and leave his misgivings to be re-examined with daybreak.
When Charles woke, sunlight had replaced the nocturnal glow in his bedroom. He was only just barely aware of his surroundings, his body pleasantly strung out but relaxed. He knew Erik was gone. He had woken briefly when the prince was leaving, felt him press a kiss to his forehead and utter final goodbyes before slipping out of the room. Charles shifted and stared at his hand as it rested beside him on the pillow. The gleaming gold band made it clear that Erik's proposal was not just something he had dreamed up but a real offer, as real as Lord Frost's.
He sighed to himself and let his gaze fall away from the ring. A week. He had a week to decide what he was going to do once and for all. Then he had to live with the consequences of that decision.
He rubbed a hand over his face tiredly before a shuffling in his bedroom alerted him that he was not alone. He sat up abruptly, anxiety and caution putting him on edge and only relaxed when he caught a glimpse of Moira throwing salts and oils into a tub of steaming water. His skin was tacky and his muscles sore from his and Erik's activities. A bath was exactly what he needed.
"Good morning," he greeted, his voice cracking. He wasn't sure if that was down to sleep, Erik, or both.
Moira gave him a polite but knowing smile in return. It struck Charles that she probably knew what happened last night. Here he was, only clothed by his sheets, his hair a mess, covered in Erik's scent and his skin reddened and bruised from Erik's hands and mouth. He blushed, but Moira did not seem inclined to judge him.
"Morning. The prince asked that I draw this bath for you before he and his children left for the funeral."
"Is it so late?"
"Only half-past ten, but the funeral procession will be a long one seeing as how it is for the king. David has already been cared for. He is fed, changed, and happily playing in the adjoining room."
Charles reached out and found David's consciousness. He was focused on his blocks and blissfully ignorant of the world around him.
"Thank you, Moira. I usually don't sleep in this late," he replied as he pushed himself out of bed and towards the bathtub.
"Well, strenuous activity can make one more lethargic than usual," she commented airily.
Charles paused, momentarily shocked at her forwardness before an involuntary snicker left him.
"That is true," he conceded, sinking into the tub with a sigh.
Moira handed him a cloth and a bar of soap, which he accepted happily.
"I thought I might give you the grand tour of the palace today. Going into the city on the day of the funeral is inadvisable, so just the castle for now. We can explore the city on the morrow if you would like. We have seven days until the prince comes out of mourning for his coronation. He can have visitors so long as you follow the customs of entering a shiva house, but it is good for you to occupy your time with other things, make new acquaintances and friends, find new interests, settle yourself into Krakoa if you are to be here for long."
Charles bit his lip at the last sentence, a wave of anxiety unconsciously leaving him.
"Lord Charles?"
"Just Charles, please."
"Charles, are you alright?"
He looked up at the beta undecidedly. He never talked to someone else about this who was not biased one way or the other. Lord Frost wanted something from him. Anya wanted something from him. Erik wanted something from him. Lady Proudstar wanted something from him. Logan was not completely unbiased. He never cared for such things as decorum, he just wanted Charles to be happy no matter what barriers he barreled through in the process, what towers came tumbling down. Beyond that, he had no friend to puzzle through his conflicts with. If Tony were here… then again, Tony would hardly have been very sympathetic to Charles' reticence. He was never the cautious type. Perhaps if Pepper were here or Lord Rhodes or Sir Steven or Lady Natasha, they could've given him prudent advice. As it was, he was friendless besides Erik and Logan. Moira was a very new acquaintance, but he thought she could be a dear friend in future, and she didn't personally want anything from either himself or Erik. Perhaps she was the perfect person to talk to about this.
Once he opened his mouth to begin speaking, it became easy to explain everything: Erik's subterfuge, their attraction, his inner conflict, his fears and doubts, the choice set ahead of him. By the time he finished, the water had gone cold and his skin was pruning. He stepped out of the frigid bath, accepting the robe a contemplative Moira gave him with a nod before making his way to the privacy partition.
"I don't know, maybe I'm being intransigent for no reason other than the fact that it's easier to be contrary," he shared as he dried himself and looked over the clothes Moira had thrown over the partition.
"I think your concerns are valid ones. This decision is not a simple one by any stretch of the imagination. One can't be expected to make it quickly."
"I had much less caution at Logan's inn."
"Falling in love with a blacksmith and falling in love with a crown prince are two very separate circumstances, each deserving of their due diligence. Can I assume that in the emotional upheaval of the matter at hand, you have not yet had the chance to go over the pros and cons constructively and concisely?"
Charles was a little taken aback by Moira's detached and analytical demeanor before deciding it was precisely the disposition he needed to hear at present.
"No, I haven't," he admitted, pulling on his trousers.
"There are two offers on the table. Both come with risks and require you to make concessions. Lord Frost's offer comes with the benefits of anonymity, privacy, financial security so long as the manor you are to help run remains profitable and he has offered you a monthly stipend so poverty would not be in your immediate future. He would halt any legal proceedings your ex-mate could wish to make against you and pay him a sufficient amount to leave you alone in perpetuity. On the other hand, this offer would put you on a new continent with no one you know, in an unfamiliar environment in a country only recently torn apart by civil war. It is not unlike your arrival to Genosha when one looks at the bare bones of it, but America is a good bit larger and more complicated than Genosha. Lord Frost's offer also comes with a marriage to a man you do not know and whose nature you couldn't guess. He may or may not be similar to your first husband or may just be intractable enough to allow you little freedom. Not perfect but, by and large, not an unorthodox proposition for someone of your station and breeding. Then there is Prince Erik. His offer comes with the benefit of established and mutual affection. His children are already acquainted with you and your son with him. You will have financial stability in this relationship. The prince has expressed a liberal view on your personal freedoms. He may not have the connection with the Markos that Lord Frost does, but certainly has the funds to pay them off. That could also lead to a diplomatic quandary should they refuse to negotiate. However, that is a risk in both scenarios. There will be little privacy or anonymity if you become prince consort. You will partly belong to the people. That means making certain sacrifices on what you can and can't say, do, wear, and express. There is also the matter of this true bond. I don't know much about them, but if Lady Proudstar says it is real, I am inclined to believe her. I don't know what affect you being across the sea will have on the health of yourself and the prince, but I'm moved to believe it won't be pleasant. All in all, both offers would see you facing some difficulty and some reprieve. I suppose it is just a matter of what you are willing to trade away."
Charles stepped out from behind the screen and approached the table where Moira sat.
"When you put it like that, it seems a little easier to puzzle it out. I really could've used you a few days ago when I was spinning my wheels, unsure of what was up and what was down."
Moira gave him a kind smile.
"Do you trust him?"
Charles paused in tucking his linen shirt into his trousers.
"I probably shouldn't, should I?"
"I can't answer that question for you, all I can ask is whether you do or not."
"In some ways, yes, in others… it's hard. Not just because of the façade, but…"
"But?"
"He is a man of singular focus and the way he looks at me… it's frightening."
"Why?"
Charles' lip twisted.
"I don't really know, to be honest. I just know the thought that he means what he says is exceptionally terrifying."
"The prince rarely ever says something he doesn't mean, not unless it is in service of his family's protection or his people's. I feel I must warn you, Prince Erik can be quite persistent when he is of a mood. He will respect your wishes but will fight for you. I've seen him do it before."
"Did you know Lady Magda personally?"
A fond smile tinged with sadness crossed Moira's lips.
"I did. She was a bright woman, kind, soft-spoken but she was able to help calm the prince when he was in his more volatile moods. They loved each other very much. She was suitable by societal standards to marry Prince Erik and was still scorned and slandered by some nobles at court and unfavored by Lord Frost."
"Why?"
"House Maximoff owns only a small keep and has never been particularly politically savvy. She was discouraged many times, but she always rallied, presented a smile and proved herself to all those who judged her. I have no doubt you can do the same. From what I viewed of the high table last night, you weren't doing too badly. You should have more faith in yourself."
"Erik said something similar. He said I don't see myself clearly. He can hardly be objective about this, biased as he is."
"Well, I'm not and I believe much the same. Why can't you believe that?"
Charles opened his mouth to answer before closing it. He used to be so confident, eager, and spirited. If he wanted something, he made sure that he got it. He knew how to charm the literal pants off anyone he met. If he were the same Charles he was in York, he would've argued Lord Frost down and defiantly accepted Erik's proposal, partly just to prove the point that he could. Now, he was a man who got so cowed by some nobleman he didn't know that he retreated in tears. What happened to him? Moira watched him thinking to himself with a keen eye before she spoke again.
"I am not an omega nor Gifted, so some of the difficulties you have faced are not ones I can relate to, but I do know that if someone pounds your worthlessness into your head long enough, it becomes harder to doubt it, even if just subconsciously. Joseph is dead and sometimes I can still hear his voice in my head telling me to stand straighter or smile wider. Telling me I am a failure, a whore, a burden, unwanted. Convincing myself he was wrong is easier said than done. I have always believed that that kind of validation cannot come from someone else, but it doesn't hurt. It can tide you over until you can believe it yourself."
Charles thought of all the ways Kurt and Cain had abused him and denigrated him, how his mother ignored and neglected him, how most of his friends turned their backs on him. He always tried to keep himself hearty, assure himself of his own validity and worth. However, that didn't mean the barbs didn't nestle into his heart. Outside of Tony and Logan, Erik was the only person to see him for himself, compliment him without ulterior motives, want him for his mind, to see Charles in ways he didn't see himself. Not for a long time.
"It's something to think about. You don't have to make the decision today, and you shouldn't. You have seven days to dwell on it. Don't drive yourself crazy, just consider all angles as best you can. And don't get mired in doubts about selfishness. I've lived my life for others and where has that gotten me? A childless widow with a stained reputation thanks to my estranged husband. If I was not so concerned with the sensibilities of others, I would've divorced Joseph and lived my life for myself. Self-regard doesn't always equate to self-centeredness or egocentricity."
"I never thought of it like that," he mused.
He was quiet for a while, allowing Moira's words to wash over him, settle in his heart and in his brain before the brunette woman roused.
"Let us leave the heavy discussions for another time. After you break your fast, I will show you all around the palace. It will be a great adventure."
Charles smiled and nodded in reply, deciding to immerse himself in something that did not make his head spin with confusion. His problems weren't going to leave but he was in a new city, he may as well enjoy it.
Charles had never truly realized how slowly a week could pass when one was paying attention to time, actively counting minutes and seconds as they went past. It was possible time felt so laborious because the tugging in his chest kept getting more and more insistent by the day. The pull to go to Erik was strong, but not all-consuming. Not yet anyway. Logan had said he held out for months before it became debilitating. If he were across the sea, it would be much longer. Years of yearning, longing, wanting with no recourse. Charles was headstrong, but he wasn't sure he could hold out that long. A week was what he had to work with for the time being.
He did not spend his week idling. On the first day, Moira took him and David on a tour of the palace as promised. It had taken nearly the whole day as Charles had ended up getting into a debate with Lord Janos, Lady Elaine and Lady Amelia about Walt Whitman's self-titled poem and the Keatsian influences therein. That took up two hours until David demanded lunch. Moira had been bemused the entire time, shocked that Lord Janos had spoken to someone for such a long time about something other than politics. Charles had shrugged it off. He always found literature to be a natural icebreaker. He was of the firm belief that everyone had the right to literacy, rich or poor. He had capped off the day attempting to teach Moira how to play chess with middling success.
He spent the next day alone. He wrote letters to Logan and Tony, updating them on what was going on as much as he cared to before he lost himself in the library for a while, aggregating books that piqued his interest. He retreated to his bedroom, where he read aloud to David for a while then indulged in whatever his son wanted him to do.
On the third day, Moira took them into town where they explored the various vendors and stalls. They ate foods that Charles had never heard of, bought things he hadn't had the funds to purchase in a while, and talked to people whom Moira was acquainted with. He took a shine to Lord Henry, the son of Lord Norton. His scientific inclination led to a spirited discussion between them and had seen Charles invited to dine with the McCoys. It had been a surprisingly pleasant evening. Lord Norton was a shrewd man but kind and open to hearing more from Charles about his views on omega freedoms while Lady Edna needled him with an avalanche of questions about Westchesterian customs and fashion before plying him with advice on parenthood. He wondered how such an exuberant woman and jovial man created such a timid son but saw shades of their natures in Henry, who insisted on being called Hank, when he spoke of science and Moira seemed able to get him to loosen from his rigid shyness through her naturally inviting demeanor.
The fourth day was the one that saw Charles' thus far enjoyable week broken up with visits and meetings with several individuals who he would've rather steered clear of. Lady Proudstar was the first. The elderly woman had shown up in a flurry of demands veiled in amiability and forced him to join her on a trip to the Great Synagogue. It was even more magnificent inside, but he could not help but feel uncomfortable as he stepped within. He was an outsider and a gentile. He foolishly wondered if he would combust before he could make it more than a foot. Lady Proudstar had noticed his expression but waved him off.
"I'm not Jewish myself. Some in Genosha have historically viewed my people as pagans, savages. Sentiment has turned for the better since the prince's grandmother, Queen Olivia, took the throne and sought to bridge our peoples, but I don't always feel comfortable here either. Their god has not seen fit to smite me yet and I have had a significantly longer time to offend him, so I think you will be fine."
The words were barely reassuring. He was not to gain any comfort from the visit as he was then forced to sit down with a man named Rabbi Elisha and recount, in excruciating details, his relationship with Erik. He was certain he would be ordered to perform a walk of shame through the city so everyone knew just how sullied he was. Maybe this was Lord Frost's plan to publicly embarrass him and ensure there was no way Erik could marry him.
"You need not look so much like we plan to publicly flog you," Lady Proudstar reassured.
Charles gave her a doubtful look.
"This is merely to confirm officially what I already know: that you and the prince are a true-bonded pair. The church will recognize it now too, won't you, Rabbi?"
"I am never as loath to agree with you as you believe I am, Lady Paloma. I have no reticence in proclaiming that from my interview with yourself and Prince Erik that you have a true bond between the two of you, Lord Charles."
Charles stared at the pair of them, unsure what to say. This felt surreal, like it was happening to someone outside of himself. It was one thing for Logan or Moira or himself to speculate about it, but having such officious individuals telling him made it both more real and somehow even more fantastic.
"I…," he trailed off, his mind unsure.
"This must be a shock."
"I've been told it was a possibility before. I don't think I took it seriously. What's meant to happen now?"
"I usually advise true-bonded pairs that completing the bond via claiming is in their best interest for their health as well as their mate's."
Charles bit his lip, looking away.
"What if one completes the claiming but separates nonetheless?"
Both the rabbi and the lady were quiet long enough for him to look back to them. They were thoughtful and having a conversation with their eyes that Charles didn't bother to intrude upon.
"I suppose it's possible for one to take that action. The insistence of the pull will be duller after the bond is completed but not absent. It will be easier to manage, but heats will be grueling without your true mate present."
Charles flicked his eyes away momentarily. He had not experienced a heat in a while. He couldn't remember the last time clearly, but he did remember desperation, bone-deep aching, and Cain. That was a month before his divorce, which meant he was nearing two and a half months without a heat. He should have had at least one already if his cycle was going to return to normalcy. If he hadn't had a heat yet, well, that could mean…
He didn't voice the concern. Rabbi Elisha continued, oblivious to his thoughts.
"I don't know of any true-bonded pairs that have willingly chosen to separate, but there are some instances throughout history where circumstances have caused pairs to part," the rabbi informed him carefully.
"However, I would not say it is an advisable action to take. Beyond the religious implications of turning your back on such a blessing, it is hard to say what toll it may take on you mentally, emotionally, psychologically," Lady Proudstar added.
Charles bristled at her chiding tone.
"Is this bond not truly as much a prison as a blessing? It seems from your estimations that I have no choice in the matter, no freedom to decide for myself."
Charles did not run from being trapped in Salem with Cain to be trapped in Krakoa with Erik. What was this bond, imposing its will upon his life, if not equivalent to Kurt, who had done the same and forced him into something he did not want? However, he couldn't overlook the fact that Erik wasn't Cain. His feelings for them couldn't be more different. Would he be more receptive to Erik's proposal if there was not some cosmic force seemingly taking his choice from him? Would he have made the same decisions if this otherworldly pull between him and Erik did not exist? He didn't know.
Charles was startled as Lady Proudstar began to titter and giggle to herself.
"Have I said something humorous?" He asked indignantly.
"I was just remembering my own youth and wondering if I too was ever so short-sighted."
Charles bristled again as Rabbi Elisha lightly rebuked the elderly woman for her bluntness.
"Choice and freedom are not the same. There is freedom in choice, but regardless you do have a choice. It is not an easy one, but the choice is yours to make. Freedom of choice does not preclude freedom from consequence. You may choose to complete the bond and then leave for Boston as Lord Frost has offered, or you may choose to stay, or you may choose not to complete the bond at all. All choices you are free to make. All choices that come with their own sets of consequences as every choice does."
Charles looked at the woman wide-eyed, surprised by the knowledge she had.
"I haven't lived this long without having ears everywhere, dear."
This should be a clear example of exactly how he didn't want to live his life, with no privacy, no guarantee that his secrets would ever remain just that, but he found himself curiously numb about it.
"You don't realize, do you? You are the most powerful man in Genosha."
Charles looked up at her with confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"Considering that our king's future lies within your grasp at this very moment, I would say that makes you quite the force to be reckoned with."
Charles looked away. He didn't feel as powerful as Lady Proudstar seemed to think he was. He felt like a pawn on both a political chessboard and a cosmic one as well. Certainly, it would be easier to give in, but something within him demanded he did not. Often in his life, his body was the only thing he could control. Kurt and Cain took that control away from him. Perhaps he was denying Erik for the simple fact that he could, that he had control of this situation. Erik would not force himself on him, he would back off if Charles said, he would let him go. In that way, he did have power over Erik. Thinking of it like that made it seem more insidious and manipulative than he wanted to believe he was, even if just subconsciously.
Still, if he did accept this and married Erik, what would he do after that? Would he just be an ornament, meant to throw parties for the nobility and do little else? Erik wouldn't stop him from pursuing his interests, but he would no longer just be Charles, he would be the king's mate. He would not have the same responsibilities as Erik, but he would be expected to set an example for things as trivial as fashion trends to other essential constructs such as moral hierarchies. Laughable considering how loose his morals were in the past, at least when it came to chastity. Would he just sit on his arse all day waiting for Erik to finish working so they could retire to bed together? What would be his political purpose?
"The point, Lord Charles, is this bond has not stripped you of your autonomy. It has presented you with a choice, just as Lord Frost did, just as the prince did. No one and nothing in the universe can truly choose for you, not even Erik."
That, at least, rang true. Erik wasn't forcing him into anything, not like Kurt or Cain. He was willing to follow Charles' lead in this, go with his wishes even if it meant Erik was left behind. The idea of it did not settle well in Charles' soul. He couldn't imagine sailing away and never knowing what would become of the only man he ever loved. Still, something was holding him back.
With Kurt, he had no opportunity to fight, no avenue for resistance. It wasn't fair to Erik that he was exercising those missed opportunities now when the situations were so different from one another. It also wasn't fair to dismiss all of Erik's feelings and his own as a result of this bond between them. Charles was not comfortable ceding control of himself and his actions to some intangible thing, divine or otherwise. This bond was no exception.
"I will think about this matter carefully. Thank you for your time," he said to the older duo before standing up, bowing, and walking out of the Synagogue as quickly as propriety allowed.
He walked back to the palace slowly, taking in his surroundings at a leisurely pace. The city was bustling if a bit subdued, still recovering from their previous plights. Charles glanced around at the people here. Friendly and open as they had been with him thus far, he wondered if that would remain the same if he was presented as Prince Charles. He continued his walk slowly, greeting people who Moira had introduced him to and stopping to talk to those who beckoned him over, most likely attracted to his newness.
He was exhausted by the time he got back and wanted to drop into bed, but a voice calling his name stopped him. He turned around and was both surprised and apprehensive to see Lord Helmut approaching him. He stood up straighter as the other omega stopped across from him, a civil smile on his face.
"My lord," he greeted, bowing respectfully.
"No need to stand on ceremony, Lord Charles. I have not seen much of you. I admit, it has been a disappointment."
"Oh?"
"Your words intrigued me so at the feast. I was eager to continue our conversation, but we seem to keep missing one another."
"I thought…" Charles trailed off, not willing to finish that sentence in public.
"I have been called upon frequently as of late, I apologize," he eventually said, reverting to courtesy.
Lord Helmut nodded but there was a knowing glint in his eyes.
"Join me, will you?"
He offered his arm. After a moment of hesitation, Charles looped his through the taller man's, allowing himself to be led deeper into the castle despite his discomfort.
"I have been to visit the prince and his children to pay my respects, have you?"
"No. I haven't had the chance."
Lord Helmut looked at him curiously.
"I would think, given your relationship, a visit would be natural."
Charles stared at him, a denial on the tip of his tongue before he dismissed it. What was the point?
"We are taking some space from one another before we decide what should come next," he settled on.
Lord Helmut nodded, showing no feeling one way or the other. Charles would've expected elation at their distance.
"From the conversations we have had, I have found the prince to be a passionate man, driven by his emotions more than he would ever admit. That being the case, I don't find it so strange, his feelings towards you."
Charles felt a pang of guilt even though the other omega didn't sound hurt or accusatory.
"I'm sorry."
"For what? You didn't call me to Krakoa, you didn't send that letter, you never implied your hand to me. You have done nothing to me personally. In fact, you have given me hope, Lord Charles."
"Me?"
"Oh, yes. I had written off love altogether, especially when I settled as an omega. I know what history has stated we are to be relegated to: silent, submissive broodmares. The way you and the prince look at one another, that is not domination, that is not solely lust, that is love. I wish I could be so lucky."
Charles looked at the lord, so many thoughts clamoring in his head for attention. He voiced none of them.
"I think that I would much rather wait for the man or woman I could share that emotion with rather than enter a union for my father's sake. He will be angry, but he will survive," Lord Helmut continued, a small smile on his face.
"Have you set a date for the wedding yet?" He asked, nodding to the ring on Charles' finger.
"This is… I haven't said yes yet."
Lord Helmut lifted an eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"No," he replied shortly.
He expected Lord Helmut to think him insane or express veiled happiness despite his words in support of their relationship, but he just nodded understandingly.
"I didn't agree when my father first brought the match with Prince Erik to me. Yes, he is a prince, but I wondered what married life would be like for me. Would I be tantamount to a prisoner or a doll meant to be admired and nothing more? I would've hated that. I have always had my position among my men, fighting, leading. I fought hard for it and to have it all taken away by marriage, to be consigned to spouse and nothing more, was unconscionable to me. It took my mother assuring me that I had the power to spearhead my own initiatives as prince consort that made the decision for me. I could create my own fighting force, I could continue to lead my men if I only convinced my husband of it. Something tells me whatever it is you wish to do, you could convince Prince Erik of. Tell me, what is your dream for yourself?"
Charles took a moment to think. What did he want? What dream had he been keen to chase that was ultimately snatched from him?
"I wanted to open a school for Gifted children. My father was going to, but he never got the chance. I still have all of his plans," Charles admitted.
"Then do it. You will more than have the means and influence to do so as prince consort."
Charles glanced at the other man with narrowed eyes.
"Why do you care? I would've thought you would be happy with my reticence."
"Contrary to what many appear to believe, I am not content being in a marriage I know for a fact will remain loveless. Furthermore, I agreed to try with the prince because I knew that it would put me in a position where I could help other omegas. Many like us break convention but don't have the luxury of our last names or our blood, and even that doesn't protect us completely. You have a chance to make things better for all of us."
Charles discreetly shook his head. Between Lord Frost, Lady Proudstar and Lord Helmut, why did they believe Charles possessed this unfathomable amount of power? He asked as much.
"Because you have the prince's heart, and thus his ear. You are undoubtedly in a position to effect change."
He stiffened a bit.
"I won't manipulate Erik for my own ends."
"Of course not. You won't have to. That is the point. He will listen to you. That just may be enough. You won't be a concubine, you'll be a prince, a true and equal mate. You'll have a voice as his advisor, perhaps his most trusted one. That means something for the progress of this country, for omegas everywhere if you use that position and power wisely and unselfishly."
Charles paused, taking that in. Erik did listen to him when he spoke and some of the other members of the council had shown interest in his views, mainly Lord Norton. He must have shared that because Lady N'Dare and Lady Elaine had been giving him assessing looks. He could be in a position where not only could he open his father's school, but he could continue to promote omega freedoms and civil liberties in Genosha. He may even be able to help abolish the rule outlawing alpha fraternization. He could help make biological divorces more readily available. He was confident Hank and Dr. Strange would get along famously, and that would benefit everyone. Genosha was not Westchester, but how many people here were stuck in situations similar to his own previous captivity? He had the personal experience to understand their plight and would be in a position to help them and many others, which was what he had always wanted to do but figured he never would get the chance to. His interest in science was never selfish but rather to understand nature and how it worked for the betterment of humanity. Maybe he wouldn't be helping others through science the way he had wanted, but he would still be helping others, and he would even have a chance to teach if he so desired. It would be his choice then, wouldn't it? He would be a kept man, but Erik would be too.
"I'm yours, heart and soul," Erik had said.
He did not view his love for Charles as a prison, did not see their bond as a divine hand taking away his self-determination. He was an alpha and a prince. He was used to getting his way, being free, and always having a choice, but he ceded himself to Charles with little question or hesitance. In many ways, Charles had already done the same. Maybe it didn't have to be as complicated as he initially thought. It wouldn't be simple by any means, but none of his choices were.
"I can tell the prince loves you. He risked my father's ire to choose you over me and will take more risks still to pursue you. He has decided you are worth that. The only question that remains is whether the prince is worth the same to you."
Charles thought of Erik's smile, his kiss, his embrace, the way he looked at him as if he were one of the wonders of the world, his care, his love.
"He is worth it."
Lord Helmut quirked a smile after a moment.
"Then, the answer should be obvious."
And it was. Could he make a life for himself without love? Yes. He could rebuild himself from the ground up, he had done it before. But he did not want to. Love was alluring enough to weather the storms it would require. He only had to accept that he could be happy if he willed it.
"Do you get it now," Lord Helmut asked.
"I think I do."