The school year was off to an interesting start. Harry apparently had a mortal enemy(aside from the obvious ones), and it was looking like Hermione had one too after Harry explained to her how Daphne had attempted to set him to look like a bully in front of the whole school. Hermione and Harry were actually making a rather robust circle of friends in short order, it seemed all the adversity was more or less forcing the first years to stick together. Luna was keeping an eye on Neville after he collapsed on the train from the Dementor search. Apparently, he'd recalled vivid memories of Bellatrix Lestrange torturing his parents into insanity. Ginny and Ron were shunned from the rest by the rest of Gryffindor house because of their stunt with the flying car putting the house hundreds of points in the negative. The party line seemed to be that because they hadn't really been to the sorting, they weren't really Gryffindors anyway.
Classes were strange too. Professor Lupin, in Charms class had told them he was tossing the syllabus out the window because of the dementors near the castle. In his own words, he said: "Wingardium Leviosa won't save your life, but the Patronus Charm just might. So he told them to spend their classtime either thinking of their happiest memory or making some happy memories if they had none.
Then Professor Moody of Transfiguration claimed that since a Boggart transforms, it counted as transfiguration to learn how to fight them. It was like the guy didn't even know how to teach, but most of the older students theorized he was just so paranoid he couldn't teach a class without finding a way to make it about combat. Aside from that, it was actually a fascinating lesson, the most notable event was witnessing Moody's greatest fear when he stepped in front of the Boggart himself to shield Neville Longbottom from the Dementor that was his greatest fear. The Boggart simply vanished when this happened, without the old Auror even having to cast a spell. His explanation to the class was that his greatest fear was an enemy he couldn't see, after which he concluded the class with a roar about constant vigilance.
The upper years were reporting a similar divergence from the lesson plan by Professor Umbridge, who had apparently spent the lesson treating Nymphadora Tonks as a "magical creature." With the amount of divergent stories about just how that lesson went, it impossible to determine the truth about what exactly had transpired. One of the theories involved Tonks transforming into an actual magical creature and trampling Umbridge to death, which was unlikely to be correct since Umbridge appeared to remain alive.
Professor Quirrel didn't exactly diverge from the lesson plan, but his stuttering gave everyone a headache and his teaching was terrible regardless of his speech impediment. So much so that there was almost instantly an outcry for a student club to teach people DADA properly, and attention almost immediately turned towards Harry Potter to teach everyone how to defend themselves, because, who would be better suited than the boy who defeated the worst dark wizard there ever was?
A voice from behind suddenly brought Harry out of his rumination about the first few days of school and if he wanted to be the club president.
"Heard a neat rumour about you, Mr. Potter." Harry turned around. It was his mortal enemy, Daphne Greengrass.
"So, what is it?"
She came up and booped him on the nose before starting her story. "I've heard your wand core is a Phoenix Feather, from the same Phoenix that gave Lord Voldemort a feather for his wand."
He squinted at her. "How did you find this out?"
"Oh, I was in Headmaster's office for detention again, and there was a letter on his desk from Ollivander. Even great wizards like you or Dumbledore can't do anything about a sneaky snake like me." She said with a voice of pure content.
Harry sighed. The girl was right, he was about to do exactly what she wanted, but there wasn't much he could do about it because it was what he wanted to do too. "So how'd you manage to get two detentions in two days of school?"
She shrugged. "I dunno, something about insulting the wizarding world's saviour in front of the whole school. Didn't you get one for ruthlessly beating an innocent and pretty girl?"
"Nah, there were no witnesses for some reason, anyway, you may as well come along, can't have my mortal enemy missing out on a display of my resolve."
"Ooh, you're going to lay down the law right now? Who's first, Dumbledore or Ollivander?" Daphne asked excitedly.
"Ollivander. Just Ollivander, I can't really blame Dumbledore for getting a letter. So how do we sneak out of the school and get to Diagon Alley?"
"Temporary truce, huh? I like it, hold my hand." When Harry grasped her palm in his, she cleared her throat and called out: "Oh, Mister Phoenix!" A flash of fire burnt in midair in the corridor for a moment, before it dissolved to reveal an actual Phoenix, who gently glided over to Daphne's shoulder. She adopted a tone of gravitas as she tilted her head and spoke to the bird.
"The wandmaker is breaching your trust, take us to him. Actually, drop us off at the ice cream shop next door, please."
After a flash of fire that took them to Diagon Alley, and an argument about who was technically the leader of the excursion and thusly responsible for paying for the ice cream, Daphne and Harry stormed into the wand store.
"Mr. Ollivander!" Harry called out to the empty shop, and a moment later, the wizened wizard emerged through a set of gypsy beads hanging over a doorway at the rear of the store.
"I had assumed that any purchases I made here would be kept private, but clearly, I was a fool to trust you to not be a gossip. I'd like you to send another letter out and let everyone know that this wizard has chosen not to accept his wand."
Harry then simply took his wand out and snapped it in half, tossing the pieces to the floor. Then he spun on his heel and stormed out of the store. Daphne followed behind him once more and handed him his ice cream cone she'd been holding during the theatrics.
"Well, I hope you know of another wand-maker around here, I sort of need one for school." Harry said.
"I've already taken care of your new wand. Don't know what Ollivander was thinking giving you the brother wand of Voldemort. I'm your mortal enemy, so your wand should be my wand's sister. I've got a back-up wand that should do the trick."
"What's it made of?"
"Phantasmal Grass core, it's good for illusion and deception and all sorts of trickery." Daphne explained.
Harry nodded in acceptance of this. "Guess we have to finish our ice cream first, can't imagine cold treats work very well with flame apparition."
"If the Phoenix even answers my call again. I think it was mostly because of the perceived slight that he helped us out, but that's been dealt with, I don't know if he'll bother taking us back."
"So, what do you suggest if we need another way back?" Harry asked.
"Enh. I guess I just accuse you of kidnapping me and stealing my virtue, and you confess to everything and go to Azkaban forever." Daphne responded idly. "I'm sure if I do that someone will eventually take me back to Hogwarts."
Before Harry could retort, he felt the feeling of flames engulfing him once again, and they popped out in a green tinged dormitory. Daphne was looking at her empty cone with sorrowful eyes. "That bird melted my ice cream on purpose!" She pouted. The bird in question just rolled it's eyes before it vanished once more into a blaze.
"Well, welcome to the Slytherin girl's dormitory, Mr. Potter." She tossed her cone aside and drew her wand in a flash, casting Incarcerous on him immediately. "You're a trespasser." She said as the magical ropes quickly bound him tightly and knocked him off his feet. "Don't worry, I'll put your new wand in the inside pocket of your robe after I stun you. Then I'll levitate you down to the snake pit. I'm sure they will be very understanding about a Gryffindor getting captured in a Pureblood Girl's dormitory. Have fun explaining yourself!" She finished cheerfully before casting a stunner at him.