Outlook on Life

Chapter 9:

Alaric

The first day she started volunteering we all put bets on how long she would last. It wasn't that we wanted to push her away exactly, more the fact that people sign up not knowing what to expect and when they hear our stories it freaks them out...they make it worse for us.

But, when Elena walked in and called him out on his bullshit we all knew instantly that she was different. Hell, he liked her right away. It only helped that she was a cute little vixen with a potty mouth as bad as any of their's.

She matched each and every one of the boy's comments or digs with just as much creativity and snark.

Being trained by the military for operations means you have to enhance your observation skills. Noises, movements, sounds, smells, behaviour...You learn not to just pick up on the ones in front of you but the ones all around you. Alaric wasn't the only one who was kicking himself two months ago when they realised someone was abusing Elena and since then whenever she walks in his eyes automatically run over her trying to check for any injuries - which he knows she's hiding.

"She's late" Mason sighed angrily knowing what that meant - she was hurt - and it's bad enough that it slowed her down. None of them knew much about her home life, she was private like that, not that any of them could blame her for it; but it meant none of them knew who was abusing her or enough about her situation to help.

"We just can't keep sitting here watching her pretend she's okay while someone's beating on her!" Klaus roared in his proper British accent getting more pronounced the angrier he got. It's the same thing they've all been saying for months since they first figured it out.

Lexi's been trying to explain and remind everyone that they can only talk about it when Elena want's too and pushing won't do any good. The Doc's been the only reason none of them have asked any more than the simple 'are you actually okay?' so far.

"She used to being alone and having someone to rely on is what got her into the situation she's in, in the first place" Lexi sighed and they all turned to her in question. Where did she get that idea? had Elena said something to the Doc? "I've managed to pick up a few bits and pieces from when she slips up" Lexi announced.

"What do you means she's used to being alone?" he questioned and she gave him a disapproving look for prying, but it was too late since she's the one who revealed information she probably shouldn't have in the first place.

At Alaric's pointed glare Lexi relented with a huff of annoyance "From what I gather her parents weren't really in the picture...she had to take care of herself from a young age" Lexi shrugged honestly not knowing.

Before anyone could say anything more on the issue the front door opened and closed letting them all know Elena, who was last to arrive, was here. She must have stood in the door way for a good 2 minutes before walking out and greeting them all. She looked drained this time, more than usual and the smile she had seemed genuine as always but harder to keep in place.

Alaric's heart hurt for the woman he'd come to consider a friend and all he wanted was for her to let them help her. Looking around the room he realised he wasn't the only one who noticed how tired she looked this time and several of the guys were shooting Lexi looks of 'are you going to say something?' which she was trying to pretend she wasn't getting.

After all Elena had done so much for them... doesn't she deserve their help in return? She's family now, they've each shared with her their vulnerabilities some of which they've never even shared with family members or wives. The woman's helped each and every one of them more than a few times in calming down from PTSD attacks or just simply held someones hand while they told an emotional story. She reads people well and they failed to read her at all.

"Elena" Alaric sighed following her into the kitchen area of the centre "We're all willing to just listen and support you if you'd just let us in" he said almost pleading with her to open up. She looked more exhausted today like maybe she'd just give in.

He watched as she leaned her hands against the bench and closed her eyes "I don't know what you want me to say" she admitted in a near whisper and his heart clenched in pain at seeing her obviously hurting.

"Just say whatever you want, tell your story...I might not understand but I want too, I want to help you even if that only means listening" he pleaded with her praying she'd agree since this was as close as he's gotten over the months to a yes or even a 'i'll consider it'.

Without an answer Elena walked right past him and sat down in her usual seat of the circle. A few of the guys gave him a hopeful look as Lexi stared at Elena then back at him looking a little surprised that she hadn't put up a fight which none of them for sure knew meant she was really going to talk or if she just didn't have the energy to fight.

He was hoping it wasn't the latter of the two though.

They all quickly took their seats in the circle and Lexi stood up watching Elena sit there with her eyes closed. "Elena?" Lexi practically whispered but Elena opened her eyes and sighed "Do you want to talk about something... anything?" Lexi asked

Elena gave her a Noncommittal grunt and shut her eyes again "I don't know your the Doc here, ask a question or something" she said sounding more than a little annoyed but ready to talk nonetheless.

"Okay" Lexi nodded "Do you have a partner?" she asked

"No, I haven't actually had a boyfriend in a few years" Elena admitted "I don't really do the whole dating thing very well" she shrugged before looking back at Lexi "I can see the wheels in your head turning" she chuckled a little and if he weren't so worried Alaric probably would have laughed at that.

"I don't need a shrink to tell me I have issues, I already know that" Elena added and Alaric looked around to see he wasn't the only one frowning at that comment.

"What issues would you say you have then?" Lexi countered, she looked pretty curious to figure Elena out. Usually the Doc had everyone's personality pinned within a few conversations but Elena's been one of the very few people she's not been able to figure out on her own.

"Growing up the way I did my independence is important to me, I have Serious trust issues, I can't rely on anyone without feeling smothered at even the smallest gesture that is if their genuine enough to try, I'm emotionally cut off most of the time, I have a seriously unhealthy acceptance of violence in the home... actually no scratch that I've never had a home" Elena corrected herself "My life got screwed up when I was young and now I'm stuck in a job I hate" she shrugged "Take your pick at the fancy words for an issue and I probably qualify"

"When you say you've never had a home what do you mean?" Lexi asked taking a seat from where she had been standing. Alaric looked to Elena hoping her answer wasn't as bad as he was expecting it to be.

It was obvious to everyone in the room that Elena didn't like that question at the deep frown that made it's way onto her face, it was one that reflected her pain that the memories associated with that question; a look each of them knew well.

"I thought that was pretty straightforward" she stated before continuing, the look of pain fading to a blank face "I don't have any family, birth parents ditched me at a doctors office when I was a baby, the doctor and his wife adopted me...I was 4 when and in the back seat of the car when it went off the bridge, watched them drown before I got out myself out" Elena admitted blocking out all emotion from her voice and staring straight into Lexi's eyes "Their son who was older than me killed himself a few weeks later, it was my birthday when I found him in his room. His aunt and only living family member was in Canada so...I got sent from place to place in the foster care system"

The room fell silent, nobody uttering a word after that information. Alaric knew her story was painful from previous conversations where she avoided any and all things from her past; he just hadn't expected that.

Lexi looked nervous as she studied Elena "That's awful" Lexi tried to sympathise but stopped when she realised Elena didn't want any sympathy "How was your experience in foster care?" she asked instead.

"It's not like it is in the movie that the doc worker showed me" A humourless chuckle escaped Elena's lips that chilled him to the bone. "I ran away whenever I could, the streets were dangerous for a young kid...especially a girl, but it was safer out there. I even travelled to other cities but either I got caught by the police or the docs officers" she shrugged staying emotionless while she spoke "Stopped going to school in 7th grade and school attendance was patchy before then, ended up in Juvie 2 times... 3 months when I was 14, a year when I was 17 the rest was just community service charges that I ended up getting sealed when I was 18"

"What did you go to Juvie for?" Lexi gasped in surprise and while Alaric had been shocked he knew better than to let it show.

"Well a few charges of theft when I was 14 but I managed to prove that all I took was necessities and since I was in a different state with no parents they lessened the sentence... that was pretty much the same whenever I got caught and was given community service orders. But the year was for assault of an officer" Elena admitted, her voice smaller than it had been before as she avoided looking at anyone.

Alaric furrowed his brows in shock as he tried to listen to her story without reacting but it was hard to hear these things knowing she was probably skirting over major details.

"Why'd you assault an officer?" Mason questioned with a frown being a former police officer himself who knew only the other side of an officer-civilian altercation.

Elena sighed before turning to Mason "I don't really want to get into it" she shook her head at him but Mason wasn't really listening "Why? officers are their to help-" he started to protest but she cut him off angrily.

"He wasn't their to help me Mason!" she glared at him "I was 17 years old and I was sent to this guy and his wife to live. The wife had her head so far up her ass she didn't see what was going on right in front of her. It was me and three little girls all under age of 14... the guy, he made us call him daddy and you did because you knew the consequences" Elena started and the for the first time all day the anger and disgust in her voice was clear for everyone to hear as she recounted the story.

"He and his friend killed her Mason, the guy was a cop and he killed the little girl in front of us" Elena hissed at him "A little 7 year old girl died because her body couldn't take the constant sex and abuse on nothing but water... he put me in the hospital, almost killed me" Elena trailed off not wanting to discuss it further and turned back to Lexi, her face falling blank again.

"Elena...I didn't know-" Mason tried looking guilty and upset at her painful outburst but she cut him off. "it doesn't matter"

"Elena..I-I" Lexi stammered in tears from just listening to what he was sure was only a light explanation of a small part of her story.

"Look Doc, that house was probably one of the safest I ever was In, while in foster care...I don't want pity or someone to apologise and tell me I shouldn't have gone through that because I'm not the only one. People know about this, the Doc workers, the police, the neighbours, doctors... I met authority figures throughout my life who knew and didn't even blink an eye even when I'd begged for them to report it, begged for help" She stated matter-of-factly

Lexi wiped the tears off her face quickly "is that why you stay with whoever's hurting you? Because it's all you know? Your comfortable with it because it's familiar?" Lexi stammered on and Alaric hoped to god that wasn't why she was with the fuck who was laying his hands in her.

"No!" Elena frowned looking a little offended by her assumption "I'm messed up but that's...that's a whole new level for even me" Elena shrugged to everyone In the rooms relief.

"Look" she started glancing around the room at the worried faces and landing on him with a sad smile "Tyler is my roommate, he's possessive and controlling. When I called him for a place to stay I didn't realise he was so violent otherwise I would have never gotten involved, but the shelters were all full and I had nothing but the clothes on my back when I got here" she explained "If my life has taught me anything it's how to take a beating, it's not exactly the life lesson normal girls get but I'm practically an expert" she smiled as if it was no big deal which to her it clearly wasn't "I can defend myself too, but right now I can't leave because I have no way out...at least not yet. Once I can get enough money to get a place on my own and separate myself completely from the level 5 clinger than I will" she sounded confident in what's she's saying and Alaric found himself hoping she already had a plan in mind, rather than just 'I'll get out soon'.

"Can I ask what happens when Tyler abuses you?" Lexi asked timidly in a near whisper that had everyone's eyes whipping to hers.

Elena tilted her head at Lexi watching her with curiosity "What exactly do you want to know?" Elena prompted sounding so casual it made him want to shake the reality of her situations into the woman. She is brave and strong but that didn't mean she would be okay in that house.

"Well how does it start? You say you know these types of people, I assume it's why your as good at reading people as you are" Lexi spoke softly a little less embarrassed by her question after seeing Elena willing to answer.

Elena smiled at her a genuine small half smile "Okay" she nodded in thought "Well he's always been a bit of a dick but he's kind of unpredictable, I mean I can pick up on the signs like when his jaw twitches you know it's gonna be a few choice words. If his top lip presses into a line he's wanting sex, if he tenses and his eyes darken and go all glossy its flying into a rage kind of bad" Elena explained and Alaric could feel his own hands clenched by his side at hearing her describe what she goes through as if it's as normal as the weather; Which the worst part of this is...that for her it is normal.

It's her life, her everyday...he reminded himself in order not yell at her casualness.

"But if you can see all those things how does he feel unpredictable?" Lexi countered

"Cause we don't get into arguments...we barely talk to each other. He can be in another room and just walk In at yell at me or whatever. I'll get to the apartment and he might be sitting down eating or something and he'll look at me and lash out unprovoked...he likes getting what he wants and he likes having power over me" she explained and obviously that made sense to Lexi but Alaric couldn't tell the difference on whether that made him unpredictable or not. Frankly he didn't care, he just wanted to kill this Tyler kid.

"It doesn't even sound like he thinks your in a relationship" Lexi muttered more to herself than any of them, but her comment had everyone's attention. "I've never really heard of situations like that" she added looking slightly sheepish.

"Well I have" Elena sighed "Tyler's a foster kid too" she said simply as if that explained everything and maybe for her it did but in his opinion that wasn't a reason to go around beating up on women.

"How exactly does that make a difference?" He questioned not meaning to have said that aloud but he had Elena's attention now.

"When Lexi asked if I stayed because beatings and pain was all I knew" she reminded him before continuing "After you subject a small child to abuse for years on end it's all they learn, it's all they know and as much as they know it hurts they copy it... taking everything out on someone else is easier than dealing with your own issues...but eventually it stops being about avoidance and you turn into Tyler. Someone who gets off on it, he's got the power he never had as a child and he won't let anything or anyone get in the way of feeling in control"

"Wow" Lexi sighed from over on her side of the circle, raised brows and staring at Elena in surprise before she shook herself out of it gaining a small chuckle from Elena "I've never heard it explained quite like that but it makes sense...I'm feeling less qualified for my job now" she joked despite the harsh situation and topic they were discussing.

"Maybe I should take over for you" Elena quipped smiling brightly at the doc and just like that, she was done talking about her past and her life. As much as he wanted tell Elena that he was sorry for everything she had gone through, as much as he wanted to let his horror at her revelations show..Alaric knew he couldn't.

But her sharing only gave him greater respect for the woman.

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