"Of course it feels right, it always has. You can't stop now." Adam whined. He was pretty much raring to go, not that it took much. Kim had that effect on him, one touch in the right spot and he was away.

"When was the last time you checked yourself?" Kim rolled away and flicked on the light and threw the sheet back. He figured out pretty quickly what she was talking about.

"I don't know, a couple of months ago."

"Adam." Kim admonished him as she propped herself up on her knees and Adam felt uncomfortable and exposed all of a sudden. "This isn't right."

"Kim, it's fine. It feels fine."

"It's not fine." She grabbed his hand and forced it down towards his groin. "Feel it. Feel it properly."

Interrupting what he was hoping was another enjoyable roll around in the sack by the object of your desire forcing you to grab your own balls was awkward but he couldn't deny that it definitely felt strange. "Yeah, okay." He admitted that Kim was right, there was something that shouldn't be there.

"We need to get this checked out…tomorrow."

Adam tried to brush it off and told her that it was probably just swollen because they'd been fairly wild in the shower. They'd certainly taken the shackles off and if you had to rate it on a scale from making love, having sex or a good old fashioned fuck, then they'd fucked each other senseless. It was hot, wild and very satisfying.

"No. No." Kim was adamant. "You are not doing this. You are not blowing this off. I don't care if it's disappeared by the morning, you are getting it checked out."

"Kim, it's nothing."

"That's not swelling Adam, it's a lump." She was having none of it and she didn't care if she pissed him off. "Remember how you try and tell me that you are not groping me that you are doing a breast exam. If you found a lump would you let me ignore it and blow you off?"

"No…but…"

Kim put her hand over his mouth to stop him to say another word. "No, no buts. This is not different, it's exactly the same deal and we are not arguing about this."

She left her hand there until he nodded in agreement and when she removed it he laughed. "I'm not sure what's worse, the thought of this or the fact that you've been playing with my junk and then put your hand over my mouth."

"Now you know how I feel when I give into your whims and whining and blow you." Kim poked his chest. "Please Adam."

"I will and when the Doctor tells me it's fine and you over reacted I will demand an apology and you will need to finish what you started." He smirked. "You can kiss it to apologise. You've hurt it's feelings, look it's all droopy and sad." He pulled a over exaggerated sad face.

"You are feral, and it's a deal." She'd love nothing more than to be wrong but her gut was telling her she wasn't. "Whatever your heart desires, I promise."

Adam trying to joke his way out of it was an act and Kim knew it, when he wrapped himself around her she could feel the tension in him. He was worried and so was Kim and neither of them slept well but they didn't talk either. Kim burrowed into him and even contemplated trying to take his mind off it and her half hearted attempt fizzled out pretty quickly.

Kim was surprised that when she came out of the bedroom the next morning Adam told her he had already made an early appointment before work. She offered to go with him but his withering stare told her to back off. It would be wrong to take it personally but her mind went there anyway, was he punishing her or was it payback for not inviting him to the first appointment she had when she was pregnant? Or he was lying.

Suddenly the morning after was awkward again and it was never like this. That was one thing they were good at, just getting on with things the next day. Today felt different. "Do you want breakfast?" he was in the kitchen making himself busy.

"Nah, I'm good. I'm gonna go, I need to grab a change of clothes." Kim had no idea why she suddenly felt the need to leave, it was stupid.

"No you don't, you bought them with you. Don't do this Kim, please. It's freaking me out."

Standing beside him she rested her hand in the middle of his back and she felt him stiffen and pull away a little. "I didn't mean it."

"I know." He stopped what he was doing momentarily. He wasn't hungry and he was just doing it to give him something else to do, it was either that or drink coffee and he'd already had three cups. "I'll be fine. I'm tired, that's all."

"Sure, okay." Of course he was tired he'd barely slept all night and Kim felt him get up before the sun even started breaking through the night sky. Adam never got up before his alarm went off. Only a few things woke him, his alarm, his phone or his bladder. He poured Kim a cup of coffee. "You not having one?"

"Already had four. Probably should rein it in a bit, it might kill me."

"Adam…" He didn't even give her a chance to say what she wanted to say because he walked away, telling her that he needed a shower and he'd catch her at the District.

Slipping up the back stairs so as to avoid the hustle and bustle of the foyer he was grateful that everyone was focussed on the whiteboard when he arrived. He'd called Voight and told him he'd be late because he had personal appointment. It rarely happened and Voight was pretty good at allowing them a bit of leeway. He quietly hooked his jacket over the back of his chair and sat on the edge of his desk and tried to catch up whilst avoiding Kim's eyes. He could feel them settling on him and tried to ignore them and focus, he needed to focus on this right now.

The first chance they got to take a breather she followed him into the locker room and closed the door behind them. "So?" Kim heard Adam sigh. He'd chased her in here demanding to know what was going on with her and the pregnancy so it was only to be expected that she'd do the same. It was good to know that someone cared.

"I've had a blood test and have an appointment with a Urologist tomorrow. They managed to squeeze me in." He stared blankly at his locker. "Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Maybe it's a good thing?" She asked hopefully. "So you don't stress out too much and they just want to put your mind at rest."

Adam cocked his head to the side and looked at her ruefully. "Really?"

"I don't know. I'm trying to be positive." Kim took a step towards him and he backed away. He didn't need this right now and if someone walked in, which invariably always happened he didn't want anyone to think something was going on. They'd been very strict with that this time around, they were trying to keep work and their home life completely separate. They'd both been burnt before. "What's the blood test for?"

"Checking me for STD's." He joked and it fell flat. "Seriously, I don't know. Just routine I think." He didn't want to tell her they were apparently checking for something called tumour markers. It was freaking him out, he didn't need Kim wigging out too.

They were interrupted by the knock on the door and Atwater opened it without waiting. "You two decent?" He smiled. He knew what they were up too, not right at this moment but he knew they were working their way back towards each other and the best way he could encourage it was keep it to himself. The last thing they needed was prying eyes or pressure. He just wanted his two best friends together and happy.

"Been a long time since Adam's been decent." Kim tried some levity to break the heaviness and tension.

"Yeah, right. We gotta roll out. We got a lead." He indicated the pair of them. Voight had mixed up the pairings lately. Kim had landed with Halstead, Atwater and Ruzek were back roaming the streets together and Rojas was rolling with Upton. It had created a little bit of a ruckus but Kev was just happy to have his buddy back sitting beside him. "Halstead is already downstairs waiting for you."

Kim nodded at Adam and Kev stood aside and let her past. "You okay Bro?"

"Yep." He closed his locker door. "All good. Let's go." He patted Atwater on the chest on the way out the door. "The criminals won't catch themselves."

Adam pushed it down. He'd never been so grateful for a busy day when their asses barely hit a chair. It was easy enough to do, Kim and Halstead went in one direction chasing down a lead and he and Kev spent most of the day at the hospital waiting to talk to the four young kids who had overdosed in a park before school that morning. Kim would be fussing over him if she was around which would definitely send up some antennas. Atwater had tried to ask him a few times if he was okay and he was blown off every time until he finally snapped and Kevin got the hint.

He'd told Voight that he'd be late again having contemplated just coming in late and not saying anything, but they were in the middle of a case and pissing off Voight wasn't something he was keen to do again. They'd had more than enough run ins lately.

One thing you could say about his boss was he could read the room, he took in Adam's demeanour and his anxiousness. He'd simply told his Boss he would be late, he had a follow up appointment and when Voight asked if he was okay he just shrugged and told him he hoped so.

There was no getting away from Kim though, she wouldn't drop it and Adam turned up on her doorstep just as she was getting ready to head over to his place. He couldn't stay at home, he felt like the walls were closing in around him. It was ridiculous and Kim was the only person he needed to be around. He'd blown off drinks at Molly's and begged Kim to go because he didn't want things to be weird and Kev was already picking up on something.

Kim went and Kevin did put the hard word on her about Adam and she played it with a straight bat but her heart wasn't in being sociable so she pulled the pin early and sent him a message to see if she wanted her to pick up dinner and Adam had told her he was going to the gym and then dinner with his Dad. He was pretty sure Kim knew it was a lie but she didn't push him. Pushing Adam too hard would only make him dig his heels in.

He held up a bag of their favourite take-out. "Hungry?"

"So you weren't having dinner with your Dad?"

"He's not as pretty as you."

Kim placed one hand on his cheek and guided him in for a kiss. "Smells good."

Depositing the bag on the bench he started to unpack it while Kim grabbed some plates. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk just yet and Kim would let it sit for a while. As they ate they talked about work, bouncing what they knew around and trying to figure out what they missed or where missing.

It wasn't until Kim curled up next to him, her feet tucked under herself and her head resting on his shoulder that Adam admitted that she was right. "There is something there and fuck Kim, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified."

"I'm coming with you tomorrow."

"Nah, you don't have to."

"I'm coming with you tomorrow." She repeated with finality. There was little point arguing with her, he could generally tell when she was wavering or when she was adamant and tonight there was no denying that Kim was determined.

He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes. It was the calmest he'd felt all day.

The Doctor had wasted no time and Adam's head was spinning. He'd barely got the words out when he was told to drop his pants, place his hands on top of his head and try and relax. It was an impossible ask when he was standing half naked in the Doctor's office while he snapped on a pair of gloves and started to meddle with his junk.

Asking a few questions as he felt one side then the other before asking him to hop up on the bed so he could examine his groin and lower abdomen. It was all over quickly and Adam was back sitting before him waiting for the axe to fall.

"Well Adam, I can't say it's nothing to worry about but I think the best thing would be to get you into a Urologist and get it checked out thoroughly as soon as possible."

"This doesn't sound good."

"It's not uncommon at your age but it is curable if you catch it early enough."

"Cancer?" Up until that moment Adam had refused to say that word or let that fear enter his head. He had convinced himself that it was just what he'd told Kim it was last late, just a little over exertion. Even when he'd felt it in the shower that morning he'd tried to convince himself it was his wild imagination and Kim's over reaction.

"It's hard to tell but you definitely have an abnormal growth on your right testis and it needs to be checked sooner rather than later." He picked up his phone and made a call and suddenly Adam had an appointment for the next day and a shit load of fear and anxiety.

It wasn't even his worst nightmare.

You couldn't have a nightmare about something you'd never thought about.

Ever.