A/N: Here we are...another chapter, might take a little while to update this as although I am halfway through chapter 12 I want to get a lot more finished before posting any more. Not sure how many chapters this will have as there are still a few chapters of the story left to tell...but as always please do R&R to keep me motivated, also keep an eye on my profile as I will update there with anything newsworthy.
Thank you for taking the time to read my work - mistakes and all.
Chapter 7
I'm trying not to feel you
But you just brushed by
And if you dare to cross that line you know
My toes would step on fire
Ohh sizzle when it's face on face
And skin on skin
I'm trying to keep you out
And I'm trying to keep me in
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Needn't not to notice you
But you grab my eye
Don't let embraces linger
Try to keep our arms untied
See there you go again
You're making me mad
'Cos I'm drawn to this danger
Oh, it's making me mad
One hundred million reasons to ignore
Of wanting to be with you
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
All I'm asking is for nothing
And if nothing is enough for you
Oh leave it I said keep you inside your head
Under your breath
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Keep Me a Secret - Ainslie Henderson
The mid summer heat beat down as Pacey made his way into the fire house, it had been a few days since Pacey had spoken to Joey, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. The dreams of the fire were more frequent and Joey had haunted all of them. Pacey couldn't understand why he kept dreaming of her, he sighed and made himself a coffee, sitting down next to Matt.
The break room was quiet with only Pacey and Matt occupying it.
Pacey closed his eyes briefly trying to rid his mind of the images of Joey from the dream the night before. The sound of his phone pulled him out of his torturous thoughts.
"Hey, Lindley" He spoke.
"Hey Pace, checking in to make sure you're looking after yourself." Pacey smiled.
"I am doing well Jen, how about you. You still coming home tomorrow?" He asked her.
"Well seeing as I no longer have a job I figured i'd stick around Capeside for a little longer." She said, Pacey's eyebrows furrowed.
"What happened?" He asked, wondering how her job at the Whistling Kettle had ended, Jen sighed.
"It would appear the health inspection didn't go so well, they shut the place down."
"I knew there was a reason we never ate there." He snorted shaking his head. Jen laughed, not appearing upset at all by her current state of unemployment.
"The reason we never ate there was because I didn't want to eat at the place I worked." She said, Pacey nodded. He caught Matt's face out of the corner of his eyes as he inclined his head toward the door. Pacey turned to see Lacey sashaying her way in, her hips swaying provocatively. Pacey groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Pacey?" She said. Pacey held up a finger to end his call with Jen before looking up at the woman.
"Uh huh" He said with disinterest. She smiled and told him he was requested in the chief's office pronto, Pacey looked to her with confusion to which she only shrugged.
"Who'd you piss off this time?" Matt grinned, clearly thinking Pacey's meeting had to be a reprimand, Pacey laughed in reply and stood up.
"No one lately" He threw over his shoulder and made his way up towards the Fire Chief's office. While Pacey made his way up the hall he wondered if anything had happened lately to get him called into the chief's office, he hadn't done anything since the year before when he and Matt had convinced one of the candidates that single handed scrubbing every truck while wearing full fire gear on was part of his training. Chief Goodwin certainly was not impressed by this and they had both been put on notice, Pacey had seen a small smile lift up at the corner of Chief Goodwin's mouth however.
Pacey rapped his usual shave and a haircut upon the heavy wooden door and waited for a response, there was grumbling, a brief pause then a gruff, "Get in here Witter." Pacey swallowed, surely he hadn't messed up lately.
"All right, whatever it is i didn't do it." Pacey paused to think about what he could have possibly done "But if I did do it, then I just want you to know that I take full and complete responsibility for all of my actions." He frowned. "Whatever they are."
"Sit down." Goodwin spoke, gesturing to the chair opposite. Pacey nodded and took a seat, looking at his boss expectantly. His expression was unreadable which was usually the case. Chief Goodwin was a foreboding man, towering over most. He commanded respect and he received it.
Goodwin rested his elbows on the dark wood of his desk, hands together, fingertips touching while he scrutinised the man sitting before him. Pacey couldn't read his expression, he shifted in his seat knowing while he might usually use humour to lighten the mood now certainly was not that time, if ever with the Chief.
Goodwin looked Pacey in the eyes before he spoke. "How long have you been with us?" He asked him, already knowing the answer. Pacey's eyes narrowed, feeling apprehensive.
"Er three and a half years sir." He replied cautiously. Goodwin nodded at him and sat back in his chair, taking a breath.
"Exactly and in that time you have seen the fire house gain and mostly lose some incredible men and women." Goodwin kept his gaze on Pacey. "Witter you are one of the best men I have which is why I have asked you in here and why I am promoting you to Captain." He said, Pacey's eyes widened with his bosses statement.
"What?" He asked him in disbelief. "I've only been here for three and a half years Sir, I don't think that-"
"Travis is leaving us as of next week." He said, speaking of Harry Travis, Pacey's current Captain. "You are to take over his position, effective of next week." Chief Goodwin watched the younger man while he digested the news.
"That's a big responsibility Sir." He started, Goodwin held his hand up to stop him, knowing he had some insecurity issues and didn't blame him as he had the displeasure of working with John Witter when John had been on the Boston Police Force, the man was an arrogant bastard and it surprised Goodwin how he could have had such two respectful young men such as Doug and Pacey as sons. It was a call from Doug Witter which had landed Pacey the job in the first place and the Fire Chief had never once regretted his decision. He knew he wouldn't regret the one he had made now.
"It certainly is Pacey, I would not be offering you the position if I didn't think you were up for it however." Pacey nodded his head slowly, Goodwin stood and moved around to Pacey. "You will do good Pacey." Goodwin gripped his hand and shook it heartily, Pacey smiled back and nodded.
"Thank you sir." He said "You won't regret it." He said, although not nearly as convinced as he sounded. Goodwin chuckled and shook his head.
"I hope not." He said as Pacey laughed nervously and left the office.
Joey ran into the kitchen to where her phone vibrated on the counter top, the sound echoed through the large expanse of emptiness. Joey caught it breathlessly as she dumped the groceries unceremoniously on the floor.
"Hello?" She breathed.
"Jo?" There was a pause "did I catch you at a bad time?" Jen smirked, Joey rolled her eyes.
"No, no. Just got in. How's Capeside?" She asked, bending down to lift the bag from the floor, beginning to remove the contents.
"Great, everyone is great Capeside is great." She rushed "Come on you never got back to me Joey" Jen whined. Joey laughed and opened cupboards placing items on the shelves.
"About what?" She bit her lip in amusement.
"Joey, stop. Your date, how was your date with, what's his name?"
"Eddie."
"Yes, Eddie. So come on tell me" She said. Joey let out a breath and sat down on the stool. Truth was she had been avoiding most of his calls and the calls she took she was conveniently too busy to do anything with him. She wasn't sure because it wasn't a bad date it was...
"It was nice." Joey stated.
"Nice?"
"Yes, nice." Jen chuckled at her choice of words, Joey had not been out on a date with anyone in the time she had known her and while Joey had divulged parts of her past relationship with Adam she had not told her everything. Jen knew she needed to get out and enjoy herself.
"I take it you don't plan on seeing him again then?" She asked her. Joey shrugged.
"I don't know, maybe."
"Sounds like you would if it was more than simply nice Joey." Jen stated "You need a date that is amazing, not nice." Joey laughed at her. "Hey Jo, i'm serious. Life is too short to be going out on dates that are nice. So, was there a goodnight kiss involved?" Jen asked her in a teasing tone.
"Um, yes there was" She smiled.
"And?"
"And what?" Joey feigned ignorance and detected the exasperation in Jen's groan.
"How was it, what was it like?" She asked her.
"It was, well, nice."
"I am detecting a theme here Joey." Jen frowned.
"Well it was. It was a nice date, we talked about a lot of things but nothing deep. He walked me home and kissed me good night, it was a nice kiss." Joey sighed, Jen was right. There was nothing special about it at all. There was no chemistry and to be honest unless he rang her phone Joey didn't think about Eddie at all.
"Okay so no earthshaking, weak in the knees kiss that leaves you breathless and quivering. " Joey chuckled at her friend and her description of a kiss.
"Jen, there is no kiss in the world that could do that to you. We don't live in a Mills and Boon novel Jen."
"Okay then, point taken but they should be a lot more than just nice Joey."
A knock on her door pulled her attention away from her conversation with Jen who had begun to talk about the church function Gram's was dragging her to, Joey lazily dragged herself off the stool and made her way down the hall, laughing at how Jen claimed Grams had tricked her and Jack into helping out. She then said it was Jack who was coerced into offering his and her services with Grams promise of cakes and slices, knowing full well how to get Jack to agree with anything came down to how much food was on hand.
The sweeter or fattier the better.
Joey opened the door to find no one there, her eyes furrowed while she looked around. She noticed a single red rose on the porch steps and bent down to pick it up.
"Joey?" Jen asked as Joey hadn't spoken for a time.
"Huh?"
"What's up?"
"Someone has left a rose on the front step." Joey bent to pick it up, looking at it curiously.
"ooo looks like Eddie thought your date was more than just nice Jo." Joey frowned and shut the door, while the gesture was certainly sweet enough she wasn't sure how her avoidance lately good be seen as anything more than what it actually was.
She certainly wasn't playing hard to get.
She didn't want to be, well got.
At least not by Eddie.
Melanie looked up and grinned at Joey when she pushed her way into Hell's Kitchen, Joey was happy for the large crowd in the bar. It meant she would not be spending six boring hours with a handful of patrons to serve drinks to. She grinned back at Melanie and grabbed an apron as she made her way around to the back of the bar.
"Busy" Joey nodded to the crowd of people gathering at various tables scattered about the floor. Melanie nodded, pulling beers from the fridge to place on the bar.
"Yep, nice and steady." She moved back to the fridge to fulfill another drink order. "Before I forget, some guy came in here a couple of nights ago looking for you."
"Who?" She asked puzzled, Melanie only shrugged.
"No idea, never seen him before. Average looking, beady eyes." She said. Joey opened her mouth to speak when a woman with bright red lipstick called out from the bar. Joey took in the woman's appearance, she had seen her around on occasion but had no idea who she was, she generally sat giggling with a couple of other overly made up women.
"Hi, what can I get you?" She asked sweetly.
"Oh, hun i'll-" Her eyes were distracted by something over Joeys shoulder and without another word skipped off excitedly, Joey rolled her eyes at the dimwitted blond and turned to see what had the woman so excited at.
Joey scowled as she caught the woman pressing herself against the body of a tall, well built brunette.
Pacey Witter, friend to women. Her eyes narrowed and she turned her attention to a man who called out. Melanie watched Joey with amusement as her eyes flashed with green. Melanie chuckled to herself.
"Hey babe" Matt leaned over the bar to kiss his wife. "We are celebrating" He grinned. Melanie cocked an eyebrow at him and tilted her head to the side.
"What?"
"Pacey's promotion." He said. "To Captain, looks like the powers that be decided he's all grown up and ready to be in charge of his own crew." He grinned. Melanie's eyes lit up.
"That's amazing, i'll be over once I get the chance." She said. Matt nodded and kissed her again, taking the drinks she had set down for himself and Pacey. "Hey Matt." Melanie called out, Matt backed up to the bar and cocked an eyebrow.
"So, what's going on with him and Lacey?" Melanie tilted her head to the blonde with the red lips. Matt looked over at Lacey flirting with Pacey and chuckled.
"Nothing, well as far as Pacey's concerned." He laughed. "You know her, she's lusted after Pacey for two years, more recently now she found out Audrey's out of the picture." He chuckled and shook his head "Why?"
"Noticed the two caught the attention of a certain brown eyed brunette." She smirked. Matt smiled at her knowingly. Having no idea why the two were denying what was happening between them Matt shook his head and made his way back over to their table.
Hours later and the bar was beginning to thin out, a few groups were still drinking. Joey noticed the blonde was still there by Pacey's side although she had noticed that while the woman had her hand on his arm or even one time she had noticed her hand on his leg, Pacey did not reciprocate, he barely acknowledged her.
Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part.
Not that she really cared.
Joey had yet to say anything more that a quick hello, every time she would try she would be called to the other side of the bar or Pacey would be pulled away by the blonde. Finally there was a lull in orders and Joey was able to get away from the bar.
Joey moved over to the table, with an hour until last drinks Melanie had already finished her shift and was sitting with Pacey, Matt, Lacey and another woman who seemed just as interested in Pacey as the red lipstick clad blonde.
Pacey's eyes lit up as Joey joined the small group which didn't go unnoticed by either Melanie, Matt or Lacey who scowled.
"Hey." Pacey grinned.
"Hey." Joey's lopsided smile caused the flutters inside Pacey to increase. Lacey narrowed her eyes and leant over Pacey, her hand high on his thigh.
Too high as far as Joey was concerned.
Not that it was any of her business.
"Hi, i'm Lacey." She smiled sweetly, draping her arm over Pacey's shoulders "I was just thinking, don't we make the perfect couple?" Pacey coughed and almost spat his beer out, he looked to Lacey in shock and terror. Joey bit down on her lip, trying to hide her amusement, she lifted a brow.
"What. Pacey and Lacey?" She smirked "Aww does sound so cute." The patronising tone was lost on Lacey and her friend, certainly not the other three friends around the table. Pacey chuckled as he removed Lacey's arm from around him.
"You need a lift home?" Joey could see Pacey's eyes silently pleading with her. Noticing the mischievous glint in Joey's eyes Pacey continued "I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Hoping to pique Joey's interest.
"About what Pacey?" She asked suspiciously.
"Um, well." He eyed the people around them "Jen." He said. Joey frowned at his.
"Is everything okay?" She asked, her conversation with Jen earlier in the day didn't signal any warning bells.
"Yeah, just. I'll tell you after work." He said, relaxing as she nodded.
Soon everyone had been ushered out of the bar much to Lacey's disappointment, Pacey waited around while Joey locked up. Letting out a sigh of relief and locking the front door Joey turned to Pacey, they made their way over the road to his car.
"So, Lacey huh?" Joey grinned, her tongue caught between her teeth. Pacey chuckled at her and shook her head. He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Joey, She sat herself down and waiting for Pacey to make his way around to the other side. She sat grinning at Pacey.
"What?" Joey shook her head and chuckled as Pacey pulled out into the street toward her home. "So did you hear the news?" He asked her, she shook her head.
"I got promoted to Captain" He grinned. Joey's eyes widened.
"Wow Pacey, that's amazing." She said excitedly, Pacey nodded. While he knew it was a little irrational he wanted Joey to be proud of him. He hardly knew her compared to everyone else in his life. While she was the newest person to have entered his world he found she was making the biggest impression on him he could not quite explain. He still felt a strange familiarity with her and had no idea what it meant.
All he knew was that he liked being around her, the anger between them had gradually disappeared in the time since Capeside. Pacey pulled up along the kerb out the front of Joey's place, Pacey looked at the house and frowned.
"Hey, Jo. Didn't i tell you to leave your porch light on?" Joey exited the car and walked up the steps, Pacey followed after retrieving a small flash light from the glove compartment.
"I did, well I thought i did." Pacey switched the flash light on so she could find her keys, he quickly pointed up to find the light recess absent of a globe.
"Huh" He mused.
"Bored teens?" She asked skeptically, eyeing the empty light socket.
"Yeah, maybe." Pacey had an uneasy feeling but quickly pushed it aside as Joey unlocked the door. She glanced over her shoulder.
"So, did you really have something you wanted to discuss or was it an excuse to get away from Spacey Lacey?" Joey smiled, Pacey chuckled nervously. Joey inclined her head into the house and Pacey followed her into the kitchen. She arched her brows expectantly at him. Pacey pushed his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet, Joey watched as he bit the inside of his lip. She smiled, as confident as he appeared most times Joey could still see a vulnerability in him. A nervous boy who occasionally showed himself within the man who stood before her. In the weeks since returning from Capeside they had both fallen in an easy friendship which appeared as though it had snuck up on them. Pacey cleared his throat, and pulled his hands from his pockets.
"Well, um every year there's an event. Er a small event, for Boston's auxiliary members." He began, Joey watched as he made fists at his side. "I took Jen last year, it was a fun night. I was wondering if, um if you would like to accompany me?" He asked her. Joey's eyes widened in shock, Pacey frowned. "I mean if you don't want to, it's...well it's no big deal." He added hurriedly hoping for her to at least consider it before completely shooting him down. Joey smiled shyly.
"I would love to Pacey." She spoke softly. A smile lit up Pacey face and he nodded.
"It's in a little over two weeks." Thinking maybe he may have down played the event her added, wincing. "It's actually a ball."
"A ball?" Joey's mouth dropped. "A ball would mean."
"Black Tie, so you would need to wear a long dress, and heels." He turned toward the door. "Oh and Jo?"
"Yeah?"
"A smile would go a long way too."
Joey scowled as she made her way to the front door "I loathe you." He chuckled and waved his hand over his shoulder, telling Jo to make sure she locked her door and to buy a globe for the outside porch. Pacey jumped into the car with a grin, he called out to Joey.
"Lunch tomorrow?" He asked.
"Whatever." She replied on a shrug, turning, smiling as she heard Pacey chuckling while he pulled away.
Joey made her way back from Lunch with Pacey, her phone to her ear as she waited patiently for Jen to answer. She stopped on the front stoop, a single rose rested on the step. Joey furrowed her eyebrows and bent to pick it up, Eddie hadn't called her for quite a few days and so she assumed he had taken the hint that she really wasn't interested in him, or maybe he hadn't if the rose was anything to go by. She had received two more since the first was left. Joey looked around her with an uneasy feeling, the sound of Jen's voice bringing her out of her thoughts.
"Hey Joey." She said "How are you?"
"Great!" Joey beamed, her elated mood obvious. Jen laughed "Wow what's got you all happy Joey, hot date recently?" Jen was hopeful, Joey spent too much time by herself or at work. Joey rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"No. I'm happy can't I be in a good mood?" She asked.
"Joey Potter and good mood aren't exactly synonymous" Jen deadpanned. Joey's eyes widened.
"Hey!" Jen chuckled at her friend "I need your help actually." Joey said as she headed for the kitchen and placed her bag and the rose on the counter.
"Oh, really. With what?" She asked in curiosity, smiling when Joey hesitated. She knew what this was about as she recalled events from the night before.
The sound of the phone rattled on top of Jen's side table, Jen groaned her arm flung out amidst her sleepy haze. Who the hell would be ringing at one in the morning she frowned to herself.
"Someone had better be dying." She groaned.
"Oh god Lindley, I think it's worse."
"Pace?" Jen said up, sleep quickly dissipating in her panic. "Is everything okay?" She asked him with worry.
"Yes, everything is fine. Well no. Actually, no nothing is fine and I think I might die." He said. Jen rolled her eyes, it was a girl, of that Jen was sure. Jen made herself comfortable against the headboard and waited for Pacey to calm down."I asked her to the Auxiliary Ball." He said to her. "She said yes which I must say I wasn't expecting, I was actually expecting her to tell me to go and jump off the docks into Boston Harbour but she said yes and now that she said yes I am beginning to wonder why I even asked her, I should have asked Lacey because then it wouldn't matter because I am in no way attracted to Lacey, she's right Lacey and Pacey, how fucking ridiculous does that sound so naturally I wouldn't ask Lacey. Instead I asked her and she said yes and now i'm freaking out." Pacey finally ceased his monologue, took a much needed breath and added "And now I am finding it very hard to breathe." Jen had listened to Pacey, biting down on her lip so as not to laugh at his small 'freak out'.
"Ok, so you asked her." Jen smiled, pretty sure who 'her' was. "What's the problem?" Jen asked him. Pacey rolled his eyes, normally Jen was great to talk to but she wasn't really very giving in the advice department.
"did you not listen to anything I said Jen?"
"Yes Pacey I did, so you asked Joey to the ball and she said yes."
"Yes. Wait hang on there I never said it was Joey." He backtracked.
"Pfft" Jen snorted. "You didn't have to Pacey." She replied. "There's something about her isn't there?" Jen asked him smiling,
"What do you mean."
"I mean, I haven't seen you like this since, god. Never actually, not even with Andie and you had it bad for Andie Pace." Pacey nodded to himself and took a breath.
Pacey shook his head, he loved Andie more than anything in the world, this was hardly the same. He couldn't feel more for someone he'd only known for a couple of months then someone he'd been with for a few years, off and on.
It took him quite some time to feel as deeply as he did for Andie.
This didn't happen in the matter of weeks.
That was crazy talk.
"I don't think so Jen, I don't have those sort of feelings."
"Okay sure Pacey. You do have feelings for her though right, I mean more than friendship, certainly more that the acerbic bickering between the two of you." Pacey sighed and lay back on his bed, he laid his forearm over his eyes.
"Okay, okay I admit to some feelings towards Joey but."He frowned. "It's only mildly more than friendship" He said. "What do I do here Jen?" He asked her.
"Take her to the ball and have a great time. Don't push things, don't think with your head. Just go with what feels right."
Just go with what feels right?
Yeah right.
Chances are whatever feels right would lead to him going insane or heartbroken.
Maybe both.
Joey played with the rose she had tossed on the counter absently. She took a breath and spoke.
"Pacey asked me to the Auxiliary Ball, I said yes and now I am starting to wonder if I really should have. I mean I have no idea why he asked me, maybe he feels sorry for me because, let's face it I don't exactly have men beating down the doors to see me. I mean it's Pacey, we get along so maybe that's why but it's Pacey and he's well he's." Joey sighed "He's Pacey and he could get any beautiful woman just by looking at them, and, and smiling at them. Why would he ask me. I don't exactly exude sex appeal and I don't think I own any more than three dresses much less a ball gown." Joey took a deep breath. "I need help Jen." Jen chuckled at her friend and shook her head. These two had it bad.
"Okay, well that's easy." She said. "I'll get my butt back to Boston pronto so we can go shopping."
"Really?"
"Of course Joey, i'll try to get there tomorrow okay?" Joey nodded.
"Okay Jen, that you so much." She smiled thankfully.
Jen and Joey spent the rest of the phone call talking about since their last conversation. Finally Joey was relaxed enough to get some chores done before she headed off to work. Joey flicked the outside light on after putting a new one in and locked the door behind her, smiling as she headed for Hell's Kitchen and another shift of being a surly bar wench for the masses, wondering if she would see Pacey at some stage during the course of her shift.
She knew she had only seen him at lunch.
He did manage to make a shift bearable however, without him she didn't have anyone to tease. Joey smiled the entire way to work.
Pacey flicked through the channels on tv, rolling his eyes as his eyes skipped over old movies and some which were filmed within the last decade, which seemed like new releases compared to the crap he and Jen were subjected to by Dawson in their teen years. After yet another black and white film Pacey jumped up and looked over to Hell's Kitchen, he looked over and noticed the bar was dark, the lights outside and in the window shut off. Pacey checked his watch and realised it was incredibly late. He hadn't realised the time.
Pacey sighed, he wasn't planning on going over there anyway but, at least if it were earlier he might have had the option of stopping by, maybe offering Joey a lift home because he didn't like the idea of her walking home which she had done on occasion much to his chagrin. She shouldn't be walking home on her own and Melanie didn't work every shift with Joey.
Pacey frowned and double checked his watch, she would have finished over an hour before. He frowned, maybe if he hadn't sat daydreaming he would have noticed the time and he wouldn't be sitting here wondering if she had made it home.
She would have taken a cab right?
Well she wasn't stupid.
She was stubborn.
Pacey sighed and threw himself back down on the couch, what was happening. That woman was messing with his head, things would be much easier if they still hated each other, if they argued.
This was torture.