Outlook on Life

Chapter 15:

Elena

Training with Tripp was fun and over the past month since she started it had been amazing with all wins she'd compiled. It was funny though how she had to talk Tripp through the strategy of a fight, teaching him was easy since he was a quick learner. Her date with Damon had been the same night as one of her fights and she'd had to postpone.

Tripp had tried to convince her that going out would be good for her but Elena had refused, using Tripp as an excuse not to go. He seemed to pick up on the fact that she was avoiding going on a date with Damon and she had a suspicion that he'd figured out they weren't actually dating; though he said nothing.

When Damon's name flashed across her phone screen she paused in her training to answer "Hey Damon" she smiled, it wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him, it was more self preservation than anything else. Elena knew that once she let him in, he wouldn't like what he saw and that was the last thing she wanted. In actuality she did like Damon, more than she knew she should and him leaving her like everyone else was something she was hoping to avoid.

"Hey Elena" she could hear the smile in his tone "Are you busy? you sound like you just ran a marathon?" he chuckled but she heard the question in his comment. He'd been trying to figure out what she was doing with her free time all month and yet she'd given him nothing to go on.

"That's because I did" she said shooting Tripp a glare that seemed to amuse him as he smirked her way knowing who she was talking too. "I'm just getting done at the gym" she added wiping her face on the towel and rounding up her stuff ready to get the hell out of there and in the shower. Pronto.

"Ahhh" he chuckled "Filling all that free time" Damon knew she was going to the gym because she had told him as much. What she had left out was why. He still didn't know that she was training and competing in boxing matches...actually, nobody did.

"Yeah, I feel like the walking dead" she only half joked but it earned a small laugh from Damon "So, whats up?" she wondered waving goodbye to Tripp before walking out of the gym that luckily wasn't too far from her apartment.

"Was just calling to organise the detail of a charity fundraiser with you" Elena repressed the groan that welled up in her throat. Sure she liked spending time with Damon but she always get so bored at the events. "So, it's one for homeless youth and foster care kids"

Elena raised a brow at that even though Damon couldn't see her "Oookay" she drew out slightly uncomfortable with the fundraiser event but she'd go nonetheless; it was in her contract to do so. "Where? when?" she asked trying not to let on about the odd feeling this event was stirring in her.

"Tomorrow night"

Elena got in the black SUV car with Stephen after her morning shift in the kitchen of Salvatore bar. They were heading over to the Salvatore home to get ready for the fundraiser event tonight. The ride to the house, Elena chatted easily with Stephen as if they'd been friends for years. Pulling up out the front Elena, like usual, refused to wait for the chauffeur to open her door for her. She didn't think someone perfectly capable of opening their own door should be so lazy as to wait for the driver to do it for them.

She always pretended not to notice the small curving up of the family drivers lips when she did so. Elena was the only one who seemed to treat him as more than just an employee and even came to consider Luke Parker as a friend.

Stephen was used to it by now and so he said nothing as they headed into the house. As soon as she was through the door Caroline pounced, completely ignoring Stephen, she dragged Elena up to the closet to pick out a dress.

It didn't take long for to get ready this time, having never been one to use much makeup or fancy things in her hair like Caroline did. Elena slipped into the red ballgown style dress with the help of Caroline who pulled tightly on the back of the dress to narrow the waistline. "Care" Elena groaned but it was too late and Caroline had already fastened the back of the dress up.

(Dress from Prom episode season 4)

Elena looked at herself happily in the mirror; the dress accentuated her rather large boobs and made her waist look smaller than it was. Not that it wasn't already small enough. The dress was simple with a long skirt that puffed at the waist, her hair was curled in loose waves and pinned in a half-up-half-down. "I'll wait downstairs" Elena told Caroline who was trying to perfect her own makeup look.

When they arrived at the event Elena held hands with Damon as they posed in front of the cameras. Before reaching the door they allowed a photo to be taken of them with Giuseppe and then one big family photo. The paparazzi still had a few questions about who she was but there were certainly more business questions that there were in the first few events she'd attended with Damon.

She still felt a little unsure with the questions directed at her but Giuseppe explained that was exactly what they had wanted from her attending. Apparently the more events she attended the less they would ask about her.

"You look great by the way" Damon whispered as he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her into the fundraiser. She couldn't help but smile at his comment, she'd noticed he'd been watching her ever since she had left Caroline to get ready on her own back at their house.

She tried to keep up with Damon's banter but as soon as the speeches had started she'd found that incredibly hard to do. More than once she'd had to zone out of listening just to keep her anger in check. A bunch of rich people standing up their spouting statistics at everyone on an issue they knew nothing about while paparazzi filmed was grating her nerves.

Giuseppe was doing his best to keep up conversation with her by telling stories and testing her knowledge of business law and dealing regulations. She knew he was doing it mostly for her but it was clear as day that she wasn't the only one fed up by these speeches.

"Come on" Damon grabbed her hand pulling her up and over to the dance floor during one of the breaks in between speeches they'd been given to eat food. She was tense in his arms for a little while but she found it easy to relax and calm down again when he was looking at her that way; like she was the only person in the world.

It made her heart flutter for reasons she didn't understand nor did she want to.

Back at the table Caroline continued sending her odd smiles, only now they were more frequent as the dinner went on. Elena fell into casual conversation with Giuseppe as she drank another glass of champagne to get through this event. Elena frowned over at Caroline when she felt the woman's eyes on her again. "Care are you okay?" she asked carefully not sure if Caroline's glances were supposed to be supportive or not.

She hadn't really mentioned much about her past but it wouldn't surprise her if the blonde had pried it out of Giuseppe with her irritating questions.

Caroline however beamed at the question, her head jerking up and down happily and Elena sent a questioning look to Giuseppe who purely rolled his eyes at the blonde that he found entirely too irritating. A few minutes before the next speaker was about to be announced Caroline jumped out of her seat "Elena! I organised a surprise for you!"

Stephen looked down right mortified and let our a groan "Care? please tell me you didn't do what I think you did?" he asked rubbing his temples as Caroline nodded eagerly in confirmation that she had, in fact, done what Stephen obviously advised her against doing.

"Come on Elena" Caroline encouraged pulling a piece of paper out of her hand bag.

Elena looked around the table seeing Damon and Giuseppe mirroring her frown as Caroline attempted to drag her out of her chair. "Care? what's going on? I hate surprises and Stephen's reaction has me feeling I'm gonna hate this more"

Caroline simply thrust a piece of paper in her hands, looking down at it, that page had a few prompts and statistics on it that Elena didn't bother to read as she handed it over to Damon who was now standing and trying to read over her shoulder. "I signed you up because who better than to support the cause then an orphan girl"

Elena took a step back as those words left the Caroline's mouth. She stared at the blonde she'd considered a friend and realised just how different they were; Caroline had no idea how much her words hurt. "Caroline" the warning grumble came from Giuseppe who placed a reassuring hand on her back as he addressed Caroline, knowing that those words cut deeply. "Sit down and shut up before you make this worse"

Caroline looked down at her feet and complied taking her seat next to Stephen who simply shook his head sending Elena a sorry look. "I'm still not entirely sure what happened?" Elena mumbled hoping against all hope what she was thinking was wrong.

Before anyone could say anything a man tapped her on the shoulder "Miss Gilbert? Your up in 2 minutes I need you to come with me" he said taking the sheet of paper and handing it to her before grabbing her arm and attempting to drag her with him.

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Damon

Elena barely budged, much to the mans surprise, as he pulled on her arm which she promptly ripped from his grasp. "I'm not giving a speech!" Elena declared

"Yeah you are" the event coordinator countered "It's already been set up and we have the speech prepared for you...you just have to read it" he said looking irritated that she was refusing. But then again she had never agreed to it and Caroline blindsided her which would piss off any rational person let alone Elena who wasn't used to events like these yet.

"I didn't know you had stage fright or anything" Caroline said looking a little sorry but still not realising what exactly she had done wrong. Figures.

"I don't have stage fright" Elena shook her head at Caroline "I can't do this...I can't talk about something I don't believe in. I won't stand up there and lie through my teeth. You have no idea how hard it's been to keep my shit together tonight while I'm struggling to keep the memories at bay"

Damon looked at Elena, his heart breaking for her; he'd seen her anxious all night, but he hadn't even thought about how hard this was for her. He never considered the experiences she was trying not to relive all night. It suddenly made sense why his father had been supplying her with alcohol and talking through the speeches; he was trying to distract her.

"Look Miss" the event coordinator interrupted when a camera crew zoomed in on their table. Elena took the hint and smiled brightly, she looked happy despite the seething anger he could see in her eyes. "We need you now or these paparazzi are going to pay you more attention"

The Coordinator gently took her hand "You just read the speech and then you leave...they'll snap a few photos and think nothing more of it" Damon could see the manipulation in the mans eyes. He was playing her and using what he'd heard to make her do the speech. Elena looked at him and then at Giuseppe who was silently fuming and with a sniffle she nodded her head and followed him.

Damon looked over at his father as they both took their seats at the table again knowing there was nothing more that we could do. Damon sent Caroline a glare that she didn't even notice, too focused on avoiding his father stern glare that Damon knew without a doubt, was more scary then his own.

"Miss Elena Gilbert is our next speaker, partner of Damon Salvatore" the host announced and in the corner he could see one of the event manager ushering a reluctant Elena towards the podium.

"My names Elena Gilbert, I hope everyone's had a nice evening" she smiled a bright smile as she read off the speech cards playing across the clear screen in front of her. "I myself was in foster care since I was 4 years old" Damon watched as she frowned slightly at the information as she read "I'm honoured to be able to support this fundraiser in taking kids off the streets and reducing youth homelessness in our beautiful country..."

"Oh god!" Damon groaned hearing the stiffness in her voice that others would probably mistake for nerves but he knew it was because she hated not being able to speak her mind.

"She's going to snap" His father whispered and Damon turned to look at him in question, his father just smirked back at him. "She won't make another minute reading that bullshit" Damon was surprised at that but focused his attentions back to Elena.

"...Fundraisers like these warm my heart knowing people care enough to help give a homeless child the opportunity to be in foster care like I was given?" she said frowning, her statement sounding more like a confused question as she continued.

The paparazzi were moving closer, cameras ready to catch her stumble and slip up. They horde of paparazzi all watching intently looking like Christmas came early.

"Oh god no" Elena's voice drew his attention back to the stage where she was wrinkling her nose up at the speech. His father was chuckling as she announced, "Oh there is no way I'm reading this" With a shake of her head she moved the monitor out of her way refusing to read from the prepared and approved speech.

Damon felt himself smiling at her bold move despite the bad press coverage it might get them.

"I thought I could come up here and read the speech somebody had written but there isn't anything in the world that could make me keep reading that" Elena shook her head with pursed lips. "Yes I was placed in foster care when I turned 4, but it was far from an opportunity. I'd never wish foster care upon my worst enemy and I won't be told to stand here and lie about my experiences. In fact, I think this whole event is pointless...Your raising money to go towards a program that won't make a difference" she declared matter-of-factly and Damon swore the whole room gasped at her declaration.

"I'm not denying that some children find a home, a happy one, but the fact is...majority don't. I was in roughly 50 homes throughout my life and I can tell you, not one of them was good. I suffered abuse in every form of the word and the memories I could recount to you vividly would disgust you. I live with and carry that trauma around with me and yet I know what I went through was far from the horrendous things I've seen and heard from people growing up. I ran away from almost all of the homes I was placed in because living on the streets was safer; as unbelievable as it sounds, I suffered less in the streets as a little girl alone, than I did in those homes"

Damon looked around to see the cameras all pointed on her, the event coordinators rushing around probably preparing to do some serious damage control since everything she was saying went against the aim for tonight event. Yet his father was smile proudly as he watched Elena speak her mind.

"I won't lie, I had bad experiences on the street...attacks of sorts" she bit her lip as she spoke looking around the room warily "When I was about 12 years old, probably younger, a fundraiser of people similar to this...all trying to do right by us, but not realising they weren't helping...raised money to get more kids off the streets. I remember when I'd find a park or some place to sleep and someone spotted a social services car everyone would run. All the people under 18 would run away from the social service people so you wouldn't get taken back to foster care homes."

Elena lent forward resting her hands on the podium stand as she continued "What I don't understand is why nobody seems to be questioning the fact children run... does everyone think that we liked living in our own filth and starving for days? did they think I liked being cornered by men or even a woman in the alleyways with no escape?" Elena's frown deepened and she had to physically shake herself out of whatever memory she was reliving.

God that woman is brave, Damon thought as he watched her continue with her speech.

"Well I didn't" she breathed out voice cracking with pain and took in a deep breath that echoed in the microphone "I really didn't. But you know what was worse? Being trapped in those homes where you couldn't run or get away, where you had to not only endure the abuse but watch younger children experience it. It was heartbreaking. I was on the street because it was safer, I couldn't hide or run or scream for help in those homes, and even if you did there was nobody to help you."

She let that sad statement linger in the silent and shocked room for a second before she spoke up again, her voice filled with raw pain and emotion that stabbed you in the heart with the implications of what she was describing her childhood as.

"I'm not here to discourage people with the ability to help from helping; please don't let that be what you take from this. I just know that your going about it the wrong way. What we needed was people ensuring those homes were safe in the first place, making sure we went to school, got fed, weren't being abused. We needed more than the yearly check in's that were already arranged in advance. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would believe me when I said the powerful man was hurting us...I understand there are so many children across america in the foster care system and that's why these things aren't in place. But If there were more safe homes then less children would end up on the streets running from child services because there would be no reason too. Lives of innocent children are at stake and if you wan't to help you can't do it backwards, you need to start at the root of the problem"

Elena wiped a stray tear from her eye and cleared her throat "I don't think I'm gonna be allowed near another fundraiser stage again" she joked before walking off the stage as everyone in the room erupted into a loud roar of applause that didn't even compare to the applause other speakers received tonight.

The media was in a frenzy over her speech, all trying to catch her on her way off the stage. The large event camera that stayed glued to her face was projecting her wiping tears from her eyes as she walked off stage.

"Holy shit" Damon whispered to his father with wide eyes as he watched stunned by her speech. Looking over at his father Damon could see the man smiling through his watery eyes. Caroline and Stephen were both watching Elena push through the cameras with tears running down their faces.

"Sorry" Elena said as she appeared in front of them.

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