Kim did go with him for his first round of radiotherapy.

It didn't take long and they were home within a couple of hours and Adam felt fine. Kim fussed over him and both Voight and Atwater had checked in several times to see if they needed anything. He hoped they didn't keep up this level of enthusiasm throughout the whole process, that would be more tiring than the actual treatment.

Kim had come home and told him it was all organised, both of Kev and Voight were going to help out with getting Adam to and from his appointments. They had told Voight that Kevin knew what was going on and he had called Kevin and Kim into his office and planned things out without Adam having any say in it. He just had to grin and bear it.

By day four Adam was starting to feel the effects of the treatment. He was tired and lost his appetite and wasn't sleeping well. It was getting harder and harder to hide it and people were starting to get curious. Platt, who never missed a thing started looking strangely at Kim every time she came through the front door.

"Sarge?" Kim eventually stopped at the front desk when Platt started making it more and more obvious that she was onto her. Platt and subtlety were mutually exclusive. "Do I have a tag sticking out, green shit in my teeth, is my hair out of place?"

"No. You are just acting weird."

"Thanks." Kim deadpanned as she leant her elbows on the desk. "I thought I was always weird, according to you anyway."

"You are, you are just weirder lately and I don't know why."

Kim forced herself to smile. "It's a new me, do you like it?"

"Didn't like the old you, not sure this is an improvement." Platt shooed her away.

She quickly called Adam when she was in the car by herself. She was waiting for Halstead to come back with their coffees. They'd been out all morning and promised to bring everyone back a decent coffee and Kim insisted that Halstead go get them since he made the offer and that would give her a chance to check in on Adam. "Platt thinks I am acting weird."

"You probably are." He sounded tired having just woken up from a sleep which he usually did when he got home from an appointment. Voight had picked him up today and had already told Kim that he was okay, she liked to hear it from him though even if he did lie. "What'd you say?"

"That she always thinks I'm weird." Kim drummed her fingers on her leg. "Anyway, it's not a lie but she is onto me I think."

"Then tell her. I don't mind."

"We don't have too."

"Really Kim, having Platt making life harder than usual would just make everyone else curious. There is a level of weirdness to Platt that everyone tolerates, but trust me when she's got a bee in her bonnet she's off the charts and people notice." He'd certainly felt better about things since Kevin had been clued in and he'd been great but it still felt like Kim was a little rudderless, at least that's the impression he got.

They'd had a heated argument the previous evening and Kim had stayed at her own place but was back before breakfast to apologise. The few hours apart had been good and they realised they didn't like being apart and had to be a bit easier on each other. This was new for both of them and getting frustrated and angry at each other wasn't helping.

Kim had finally snapped. The stress had being building up and when Adam asked if she had a good day she muttered that it was a shitfest and didn't want to talk about it so he followed up with a comment that he hoped nobody caught wind of her shitty mood she'd lost it at him.

"Of course fucking not, I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Okay." It was the eye roll that got her.

"It's okay for you isn't it? You get to hide here like a fucking child and bitch and moan about being bored but you won't tell anyone. You haven't even told your god damn father."

"A child? Don't you mean cancer patient?" He bit back at her. "Or did you forget?"

"Oh for fuck's sake Adam, I know. I know." Kim slapped her chest angrily. "And every fucking day I go to work with our friends and pretend that everything is fine, that I am not tired, stressed, emotional and terrified and if I am I lie through my teeth because you asked me too and then you sit here and don't give a fuck how I am coping as long as I don't tell anyone because then you might have to face this. It's not like you fucked up and did something wrong, you are sick, it's not your fault." Kim exploded.

"I'm so sorry I'm such a burden for you."

"Oh for fuck's sake, grow up Adam."

She grabbed her bag, slinging it angrily over her shoulder. "I think I'll go home for a bit."

"Why?"

"Because you are being an asshole right now, which you have every right to be but I also have every right not to listen to it or put up with it." She knew he was stressed and scared but she was trying her best and didn't appreciate his attitude. Not today, she'd been abused all day at work, they'd come up against some very ordinary citizens today.

"When are you coming back?"

"Tomorrow. I'm going to stay at my place tonight."

"No, I don't want you to." Adam started to panic a little but Kim wasn't relenting. She needed to go before things got really ugly. She hadn't had a minute to herself for more than three weeks and it was taking its toll on her own mental health. It was better for both of them to take a step back and catch their breath. "Please stay."

"No, no I don't want to stay. I don't want to be here right now so I need to go home Adam." Kim's voice quivered. "Please."

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He sounded angry now.

"Oh I don't know, call your fucking father, your mother or your sister?" She glared at him. "Trying using your words, it's not hard."

"Fuck you."

"I'll see you in the morning." Kim hesitated before kissing his cheek. "I love you."

Adam resisted, pulling away quickly and as Kim stepped back he grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him and held her still for a moment. "I love you Kim." He wasn't settling for a kiss on the cheek. They had promised themselves that they would always end a day with those words, and right now they both needed to hear them and often. "Please stay."

"No Adam, let me go." It hurt him to see her crying. "I'll see you in the morning."

The night apart reset them and Adam had messaged her and apologised as soon as she left and checked to make sure she got home okay. He'd messaged her again later as well reminding her that he loved her, that he missed her and he was sorry he was being a dick.

Adam thought about what she said about calling his Dad but couldn't bring himself to do it. He was adamant at the start that he wasn't going to until tell them until after his radiation was over. Kim didn't understand it and eventually he did admit that his biggest fear with his family was telling them and that they really just wouldn't care. They were quick to call him when they needed something, especially his sister but they rarely offered to come when Adam needed them.

She was back the next morning and Adam was waiting and smothered her with kiss and apologised and promised he'd be better and that she didn't deserve to be spoken to like he had.

It was something that Kim would have never thought to do, turn up on Platt's doorstep after hours and had almost turned back several times already. Adam had sent her a message and told her that he really wanted her to talk to Platt, he had Kev coming over to check on him after work so she didn't have to rush home.

What they had realised was that keeping this secret was becoming a burden and the thought that people would be angry was starting to worry them. Mostly they could handle that, but Kim didn't want Platt's anger on top of everything else.

"Burgess." She opened the door. "See, weirder than normal."

Despite unexpectedness of the visit and Platt's obvious annoyance she ushered her inside.

"I'm sorry for just turning up like this." Kim bounced from foot to foot and was talking with her hands. "I didn't want to do this at the District, that place has ears. The walls just seem to talk. You can always hear shit going down so I guess everyone else can as well. You say that all the time, like with the baby stuff, you knew that. It's creepy…"

Platt had a feeling she wasn't going to like whatever it was Burgess was trying to say and she needed to get to the point. "Spit it out Burgess. Are you pregnant?"

"Adam's sick. He has cancer." She finally blurted out.

If it wasn't so serious the stunned look on Platt's face would have been funny. She was rendered almost speechless, managing to squeeze out a slightly aghast and strangled "Huh, what?"

"He's having treatment for cancer right now, we are in the middle of it." Kim spluttered.

Platt took a moment to gather her thoughts as Kim waited for a response. "This makes no sense. Is this a joke? Do you have a body cam on and are recording this for his sick and twisted sense of humour?" Not that Platt really believed he'd stoop that low or convince Kim to do so either but this just wasn't making sense.

"No, very, very real." Suddenly Kim burst into tears. It had been a long stressful few weeks and it all got on top of her. "He found a lump and it was removed and he has to have two weeks of radiotherapy. He's had one week already and he's…" she trialled off and Platt just waited as Kim took a deep breath. "…he's doing okay or at least he's not telling me he's not but he is tired and cranky and feeling sick. Nobody knows and it's really, really hard and we had a fight and its okay now." She was all over the shop.

"Nobody?"

"Well Voight and Kev and that's it."

"I thought he was undercover?"

"Yeah." Kim just nodded and shrugged. "Sorry."

"Where was the lump?"

Kim didn't answer, she just cocked her head and smiled wryly and Platt got it. It wasn't very often at all that Platt got emotional and hugged anyone other than Mouch but she hugged Kim tightly. "I'm sorry."

"He's going to be fine. It's curable, totally curable and he got it early. He's going to be fine." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. In front of Adam, and even Kevin and Voight Kim was steadfast in her belief that he was going to beat this. She refused to even acknowledge that the outcome was going to be anything other than positive. Every now and then doubts crept in and holding that fear inside was crippling. Unburdening herself to Platt, knowing it wouldn't go any further than this room was cathartic.

"What can I do?" Platt led her to the couch and indicated that Mouch needed to get out and leave them alone. "Can I get you a drink or something? I need a drink."

"No, it's fine. We are not drinking at the moment." Kim could do with one but she wanted to be in this with Adam to the end and they promised that once he got the all clear they would celebrate. "Adam's not drinking and I am trying to support him."

"Well I need four, I'll have two for you and two for me." Platt poured herself a rather large wine and sat opposite Kim. "Right, from the start."

Kim poured her heart out, tears streamed from her eyes, her voice wobbled and shook and she let the anger, the fear and the heartache flow. Platt knew it was so much more than just the cancer but also the lingering heartache from her miscarriage, they had never really talked about it. Kim had steadfastly held it all in and this was a combination of two extremely traumatic events coming on top of each other.

Adam was asleep when she got home. Stripping off quickly she tried to slip into bed without waking him. The Radiation treatment was certainly knocking him around and he slept solidly each night as well as having a good long sleep when he got home, he was averaging about 16 hours a day at the moment. "How was Platt?"

"In fine form." Kim curled into his back. He didn't even have the energy to roll over. "She's already planning our menu for the next week. She's cooking for us."

"Great."

"I'm nervous." Kim admitted. She had no idea what Platt's idea of cooking was. They had never been invited to dinner or even heard Platt talk about cooking.

"You could've said thanks but no thanks."

"I'm not stupid." Slipping her hand onto his chest Adam held it there. "How are you?"

"Really tired." He was already half asleep. "And I missed you today and last night."

Kim had to agree, she really missed spending the evening with him. They seemed to be enjoying just chilling out with each other and shutting out the world. With Voight and Atwater on their side they were left alone in the main and they tried to make sure that she was home early each evening. Kev would jump at every offer to work OT so that Kim could take off, claiming that he was saving for a sweet little apartment he had his eye on.

"That wasn't fun was it?" Adam muttered.

"No, not at all. I think it was good for us though."

"Not how I'd describe it. I missed you and I was a dick." Of all the people he could be a dick too it should never have been Kim.

They were looking forward to the weekend and they had no plans although Adam was keen to get out of the apartment and go for a drive somewhere just to get a change of scenery and some fresh air. The only places he'd been all week was the Cancer Clinic and then home and even the two weeks prior they hadn't ventured far in case anyone saw them. They were also going to stay at Kim's tomorrow night just to feel like they were doing something different.

His appointments were at the same time every day. He had to be there by nine and was usually home by lunchtime when he'd sleep all afternoon until Kim got home from work. A few hours together where neither of them really ate much, they watched some TV and then go to bed early. It was hardly the life of a young couple with the world at their feet.

Adam insisted that once they woke up on Saturday morning it was a cancer free conversation zone until Monday morning. They could talk about anything but his treatment, his prognosis or his junk unless it was regarding its ability to get it done.

And it got it done. They spent Saturday morning in bed and Adam was keen to give it a go despite feeling like shit. Kim was patient with him, he had to stop a few times to catch his breath and ensure she wasn't hurting him. It was a little uncomfortable but Adam was determined and when they were done they stayed in their little blissful bubble for half the day.

It was a fine balance. Kim wanted Adam to feel like nothing had changed and for her it hadn't. He was exactly the same man he was two weeks ago she just had to make sure Adam knew it without making it obvious. If she went over the top he'd get shitty that she was trying too hard to prove to him that she still felt the same about who he was. "How do you do it?" She panted in is ear.

"Do what?"

Kim ran her hands up and down his naked back. There had always been something about Adam, his physical presence cocooned her, sheltered her and made her feel safe and secure. "Make me feel like I don't know which way is up?"

"It's a gift."

"I've always loved your gifts."