Kim slung her bag over her shoulder, grabbed her keep cup and shoved a piece of toast in her mouth. Opening her front door she dropped the coffee. "Shit."

"Sorry." Her unexpected visitor bent down the pick it up. "Here let me help."

"Don't worry about it." Kim dropped her bag and snatched the cup from her hands and took it to the kitchen. Rinsing out a dish cloth Kim quickly wiped up the spilt coffee.

"Are you okay Kim?"

"Yep all good. Just in a hurry."

"How about I shout you a coffee?" Upton offered. "You on your way to see Adam?"

"I am. And I am running late so I'll take a pass thanks." Kim clipped her words, she was pissed. Spilling her coffee was the worst way to start the day.

Last night had been rough. Not only was she worried about Adam but it had been tumultuous talking to his Dad. Both Kim and Kevin didn't even think what it would look like to Bob to have them both turn up on his doorstep. His first thought was that Adam had been killed and he reacted angrily, almost slamming the door in their faces.

"Adam's not dead." Kevin realised quickly what Bob was reacting to while Kim stood nervously beside him. In the same way that the radiation treatment had built up until Adam couldn't cope anymore, the same was happening to Kim, things were piling up and she was close to cracking. "But he is in hospital. He's sick."

"Sick? What do you mean sick?"

Kim finally found her voice. She hadn't missed the cold look that Bob had given her. It was very similar to the look that Nicole gave Adam or her whenever she mentioned Adam. "Can we come in?"

He stepped aside reluctantly. "Sure."

Bob was silent for a moment while he let the news sink in. Then he got pissed off and angry and took it out on Kim. "This is your fault." He pointed at her.

"It's nobody's fault." Kevin interrupted.

"No, it's your fault he's all alone and dealing with this without his family. You probably cut him off from us. We could've helped him." Bob angrily cut Kevin off. "I should have been told, I should have known. I'm his father."

"I wanted Adam to tell you, I begged him to tell you. He wanted to do this himself and he didn't want to worry you until it was all over. He only has two more sessions and then hopefully it's done but he reacted badly today and is in hospital tonight." Kim pleaded her case. "I'm sorry Mr Ruzek. I was just trying to do the right thing by Adam, do what he wanted."

"Why now?" he snapped. "Now you want to do the right thing by Adam? That's a bit rich coming from you."

Kevin stepped in and had no qualms putting Bob Ruzek back in his place, he was as pig-headed and bullish as his son and Kevin never had a problem telling Adam to back the truck up. He wasn't having him diss Kim, not right now. Sure, things hadn't always gone smoothly for the pair of them but that was on both of them and now she had put everything aside and focussed on helping Adam through this and he told Bob as much. He should be grateful that Adam had someone like Kim by his side right now because she'd been amazing and perhaps if his own family had bothered to show even the slightest interest in his life he might've been more forthcoming. Not one of them had turned up when he was jammed up with Antonio, and while Bob had been around when they lost the baby within a week or so he had stopped calling again.

And Adam's sister was just a flat out bitch. She only ever contacted Adam when she needed him to do something for her. Kevin had no time for her.

Finally they all calmed down and Bob made Kim tell him everything from the start and she was completely honest with him and kept re-iterating that Adam's chances of survival were over 90% and that's what they were focussed on. By the end of the night they had come to an agreement, thanks to Kevin's skilled negotiations. They both agreed that all that mattered right now was Adam and that they both loved him. The rest was going to take time. All Kim had to do was keep proving to Bob, and to some degree Adam, that she wasn't running away this time.

It was a little bruising and Kevin took her home, made her eat some dinner and listened to her pour her heart out. It was a late night, not that it mattered what time Kim went to bed at the moment, she didn't sleep much at the moment anyway.

She was up early and actually went for a run which felt like she was running into a hurricane strength headwind and had already talked to Adam this morning. He'd called her early before she even got out of bed and it was sweet to lie in bed and just talk. It reminded her of days long gone when they'd call each other after a long day at work, or when Kim had been on a night shift and talk for hours.

This now was the last thing she needed. She'd been looking forward to this coffee to get her going and she was desperate to get back to the hospital and see Adam.

"Mind if I tag along?"

"Actually yes I do."

Kim was annoyed when Upton reached for her arm. "Hey, we all care about Adam. I care about Adam."

Shrugging her hand of her arm. Kim locked her door behind her and started down the hall. "Thanks, is that all? I'll let him know."

"I just want to help? If I'd known…"

Kim rolled her eyes as she kept walking and Hailey fell into step beside her. "Oh god, do you hear yourself? Imagine not knowing something. That must really feel like shit hey?" Was she seriously trying that line on her and Kim didn't even bother to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"Does Adam have cancer?" It was obvious that he did considering he was on the Oncology Ward. It didn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out.

Kim stared at her work colleague, because in reality that's all she was. "You'll need to ask Adam. It's not my news to tell"

"Come on Kim."

Finally Kim lost it. "What?" she swung around and got up in her face. "I said you need to ask Adam, he has asked for privacy. At least you could do is respect that. If you actually do care about him you'd at least respect his wish for privacy."

"Wow." Hailey took a small backwards step. "You are obviously still blaming me for what happened between me and Adam?"

"Oh please." Kim scoffed. "My only concern is Adam right now. Believe it or not, I am an adult, this isn't high school and we weren't together. Adam was free to do whatever he wanted with whoever he chose."

"Okay, fine. Whatever you think, I did care about him."

Kim laughed bitterly. "You're funny. You cared so much you never called him when we lost the baby. Admit it you just don't like being in the dark, that's what's pissing you off." That had surprised Kim when Adam mentioned it, she didn't expect her to even bother to check in on her, but she thought she'd at least talk to Adam about it. Things like that didn't bother him, he didn't care and he was more concerned with Kim at that stage and how she was faring and dealing with his own grief.

It was curious to her now as well that everyone else had asked how Kim was, Voight, Platt and Atwater were all constantly asking her how she was and yet through this whole unwelcomed conversation she got nothing. Sure it was all about Adam, this whole thing was about him and what he was fighting but that didn't mean it wasn't taking its toll on Kim as well and she appreciated that people cared about her. Even Bob had eventually asked her if she was okay.

"Do you want to take a breath?"

It took all of Kim's strength not completely lose her shit, right now she didn't need this. There was a time and place for conversations like this and this was neither the time or place. "No, I want to go, I'm late." Kim bit back, she was so done with this conversation. "If Adam wanted you to know he would've told you, if he wants anything he's got your number. Take that and do with it what you will."

"Kim…" Hailey tried to defuse the situation. It had got a little out of hand and that wasn't her intention when she came here. She was concerned about Adam and despite her obvious confidence about who she was and what she did she'd always felt out of step with Kim. There was a wall that Kim had up that she just couldn't get past.

"Why don't you go plant some evidence or something." She flipped her off as she stepped around Hailey and headed down the hall. All Kim wanted to do was get the hospital. She had taken the next two days off and hopefully Adam's final two treatments would go smoothly but she wanted to be by his side no matter what. That was far more important than standing in a hallway arguing over who is getting told what, it was petty and childish. "I'll let Adam know you stopped by."

As soon as she got to the hospital Adam could tell she was upset. On the drive over she tried to calm herself down but Adam picked up on it. He felt it in her kiss. There was tension in her and it wasn't just because she was worried about today, something had got under her skin.

"What's up?" He'd already showered and was sitting up out of bed. He looked like he had more colour in his face and his eyes had recovered some of their twinkle.

One thing this whole experience had been good for was that it finally made Adam disconnect a little. He always had his phone in his hand and was constantly checking it, scrolling through god knows what every chance he got and playing games. Kim noticed now that he barely touched it and at the moment it was on the side table, face down and probably on silent.

"Nothing, just missed you last night, I didn't sleep much." She brushed his hair lightly and kissed him again.

"Right we'll come back to that later." He got the distinct feeling that Kim wasn't going to give him much information right now. "Dad's already been in. He was pissy."

Bob gave Adam a serve, which he just copped. He was surprised though that he seemed okay with Kim, it was Adam he was angry with. When he spoke to her last night Kim didn't say much, just that Bob was understandably upset but wanted to know what he could do to help.

"With me?"

"No, with me. Strangely he had good things to say about you."

It felt like a bit of a backhanded compliment. "You always know just the right thing to say to make me feel special." Kim rolled her eyes as she unpacked a few things she'd bought in for Adam. He'd had this obsession with crosswords puzzles at the moment and bought him in some of his favourite snacks. The non-Platt approved ones that he hid every time she came to the apartment. He also wanted his favourite hoodie which Kim had washed overnight and dried.

"You are special." He made a grab for her ass which Kim didn't even bother to swat away. "Anyway I had breakfast." He had to eat early because he needed to fast before his treatment. "Have you?"

"Toast. I really need a coffee, I dropped my first one."

"Let me walk you down to the café and then I can watch you drink your coffee. It'll be like watching porn." Kim held out her hand and it was slow walk to the cafeteria. There was little point trying to hide anymore, his phone had blown up with messages and calls which he ignored and his sister had been particularly annoying. He didn't really care if they bumped into anyone. This was no longer something they could control.

Kim eventually spilled the beans on her morning, she just felt Adam was watching her and waiting for the truth to come out. It always did, she couldn't stop herself but Adam knew he just had to bide him time. He was good at that, if he gave her enough rope eventually she'd hang herself and he wasn't surprised to hear what had set her off.

They had talked about it at length, it had only come up on and off preceding their trip to the cabin but they had got into it in a fair amount of detail while they were away. All their cards were laid on the table. They both were able to give their perspectives on it and delve into the hurt they'd caused each other over the years without getting upset and emotional, it was a long overdue adult conversation. They'd both made similar bad choices and agreed that what was good for the goose was good for the gander and nobody was worse than the other in that regard.

Kim didn't have an issue with who Adam chose to sleep with, she'd be a hypocrite if she did. They weren't together and Kim had made it obvious at that time that she wasn't interested in having a relationship with him. What she didn't like was the half assed excuses, including the lame pathetic excuse he gave her and that everyone else knew except her.

She pointed out that Adam never really fought for anything, he let himself get pushed around and was weak and gutless and never stood up for himself, preferring to take the easy way out. He didn't fight for her when she called off the engagement and he didn't push back against Hailey when she insisted that they keep their relationship a secret because she didn't want to lose her job or get a reputation despite knowing how unfair it was to her and especially when she found out that everyone else they worked with knew what was going on. He always chose the path of least resistance and it did him no favours. She told him he needed to stop being such a pushover.

She also didn't really like who Adam had become during that time. He wasn't a nice person to be around. It was a bit of a hard pill to swallow but he had accepted it and promised to be a man she was proud to be with.

Kim did not get off scot free either. He told her that her lack of communication and refusal to talk to him was petty and immature and that he felt she was more interested in the wedding than the actual marriage. Adam got to say exactly how pathetic and childish he thought it was that she played mind games with him and how angry he was that she still didn't see Roman for the manipulative son of a bitch he was.

When Kim tried to argue that his attitude towards Roman wasn't endearing and he'd done something similar and he reminded her that Hailey hadn't come between them, Roman had already done that. He also didn't care whether Kim chose to be friends with Hailey or not and she needed to get over the fact he despised Roman and always would.

It was a bit of a wake-up call and it did make her think and look back on her behaviour at the time. While she didn't necessarily agree that Roman manipulated her, because that would make her look weak she had to admit that if that was what Adam felt was going on then that was what he felt. Telling him he was wrong wasn't actually listening to him. It was hard to see things from another person's perspective particularly when it made you confront your own missteps and attitude and behaviour, but that was what this was all about.

Growth. They had to grow if this was going to work this time.

Since then they had bigger things to worry about, all that seemed trivial compared to what they had endured lately.

Now it just wasn't an issue, they'd talked about it, discussed how they'd hurt each other and promised to do better this time. It wasn't as easy as that though, it was a work in progress but they both wanted to do the work.

As far as the morning went though, Kim did feel a surge of anger and most probably jealousy, which she admitted to him a little sheepishly. "Well don't. You are here, I want you here. Nothing has ever come close to what I had and have with you. I honestly don't think I will ever feel like this about anyone else."

Now that was all behind them the focus had shifted and Adam didn't want people to know all the details about his illness and he was stubborn and the more people pushed the more he dug his heels in. Kim on the other hand had always been guarded about who she shared her feelings with and at a such emotionally turbulent time she wasn't willing or able to step outside her inner circle and confide or rely on anyone else. She chose her confidants wisely and held onto them fiercely.

Adam had to admit he was low-key turned on by Kim's ferocious defense of his privacy though. There were times when he doubted she would piss on him if he was on fire. He'd been ashamed of his behaviour on more than one occasion but right now, this was seriously turning him on.

They gave Adam some anti-emetic medication before his treatment to hopefully stop the vomiting and kept a close eye on his blood pressure during the procedure. Kim waited in his room and alternated between pacing back and forth and drinking coffee, which wasn't helping her nerves in the slightest. She answered some calls, from Kevin and Trudy and surprisingly had a long productive conversation with his Dad over the phone.

Bob was still obviously not completely happy with the situation but Adam had told him, in no uncertain terms that Kim was here to stay so he had to like it or lump it. He promised to like it, but it was going to take time.

When they finally bought him back Kim was up out of the chair in an instant. His blood pressure was low and he was nauseous and tired. He didn't feel quite as bad as yesterday but he wasn't great and either way he wouldn't have gone home today even if he had been allowed. They got him settled and he slept all afternoon. His skin had flared up around the radiation site and they gave him an anti-histamine to stop him scratching. Kim threatened to put mittens on him like a baby if he didn't stop.

He'd also had a reaction to the different tape they used here and it hadn't been pleasant and Kim was subjected to a rather graphic rant about the whole scene he had going on below the belt. Kim was slightly bemused by the thought of the mangled, half rotten hotdog with the skin falling off Adam had described. He asked her if she wanted to look and she was right in her assumption that his version of events didn't quite match the reality. It didn't look great and was definitely irritated but it wasn't horrendous.

It was a relief when he fell asleep and the few times he did wake to use the bathroom or ask for a drink he was just happy that she was still there. He promised that he didn't feel as bad as yesterday but what remained to be seen whether it was true or was it because he was desperate to go home and thought this was his best chance to convince the Doctor to let him go.

Unfortunately Dr Fraser wasn't quite as happy with Adam's progress as he thought she would be. She made him get out of bed and he didn't fare well, his legs turned to jelly and he reached for Kim as he felt dizzy. "Sorry Adam. You've got one more day, I'd prefer you to stay. If you want to finish this tomorrow then I want you to stay."

"You drive a hard bargain."

"I think Kim would agree with me." Dr Fraser looked at Kim, followed by Adam and he curled his lip when Kim nodded in agreement. "Right, so that's that." While Adam was disappointed he really didn't have the energy to argue. Whatever got this over and done with quicker was preferable.

He did have a playful dig at Kim when Dr Fraser left, he thought she'd back him up and obviously she in enjoying not sleeping with him and she was only staying with him out of pity.

"Adam….." Kim sighed. "…I feel like the idiot in you is peeking through. Put him away."

"You do know this idiot you talk of is me, not some alternate personality?"

"I know. I do quite like him though, sometimes." She smiled at him. "This is not one of those times."

Watching him sleep was strangely relaxing. He looked calm and comfortable. Nothing about the last few weeks had been easy. Nothing about this whole year had been easy. Recently this had given her a bit of insight into how frustrating it must have been for Adam when she kept pushing him away, both when she was first pregnant and then after the miscarriage, she wouldn't have coped if he had done the same to her. He hadn't pushed her away but he admitted that he wanted to.

Thinking back to the whole engagement disaster he had bought it up that she asked him twice to delay it and he agreed for two reasons, he just didn't enjoy the whole planning thing, Wendy had driven him nuts with it and secondly he thought that was what Kim wanted. Adam had always been the type of person that put other people's feelings before his own, he thought that was what she wanted. He just wanted to make people happy. For all his faults, Adam was the guy who wanted to do the right thing and he never stopped trying and lived in the moment.

He had a steady stream of visitors all afternoon and slept through most of them. Voight stopped by with Platt, although they didn't stay long. His father and sister also came in and Kim took the chance to go home and grab him some clean clothes. She didn't want to sit and listen to his sister berate him for keeping this from her and then probably start whinging about her recent disaster of a boyfriend.

Kim wasn't around when Halstead stopped by. Adam was a lot more resigned to it that Kim was, he knew it was coming. It wasn't a deliberate attempt to exclude certain people but Adam was always someone he held a lot in, he'd had to fight for himself his whole life and his Dad certainly instilled in him that you didn't whinge or complain, nobody needed to see your feelings so you needed to suck it up and get on with it. It still wasn't easy and opening up to Kim was hard enough.

And this was such a sensitive issue, it wasn't lung cancer, skin cancer or even breast cancer, which got so much publicity and when women were diagnosed with Breast Cancer they had all the support in the world and they deserved it. Testicular Cancer however, was still a little bit taboo probably because men just tried to get on with it quietly which was precisely what Adam was doing. He was embarrassed and he didn't want people looking at him and pitying him. He worried about going back to work and people would tiptoe around him and naturally try and take over so that he didn't over exert himself and that was the last thing he wanted or needed.

"You okay Ruze?" Halstead didn't even ask if it was okay to come in, he just made himself comfortable in the chair beside his bed. Adam didn't have the energy to do anything about it either.

"You know, I've had better days." He wasn't going to kick him out but he still wasn't ready for the big heart to heart either. "How's work?'

"Same amount of work, less people to do it. When you coming back?" Halstead replied casually. "Although the donuts are lasting longer."

"No doubt. I hope to be back in a couple of weeks I guess." He honestly had no idea and having discussed it with the Doctor and Voight it had been decided that since the past three days had been so rough that he would be better taking next week as well. He had hoped that he'd be back on deck on Monday. "This has thrown a spanner in the works."

"You'll be right though?"

"Sure. Hopefully home tomorrow, a few days rest and I'll be right to go."

"So you want to talk about it?"

"Nope." Adam answered flatly. He appreciated the company but didn't want the third degree. Surely Halstead could understand that, he never wanted to talk about his injuries and would also brush them off if they asked.

Halstead looked out the door at the group of people standing outside before turning back to Adam. "How's Kim doing?"

"Great, she's been great." Adam got a sense of what was coming, he was waiting for it. "Like an angel sent from heaven." He replied with a cheesy grin on his face.

"Hailey said she was a bit off this morning and got upset."

Kim had told Adam exactly what had gone on and he was always going to back Kim. He knew Kim and one thing he knew was that she wasn't was a liar, when she finally admitted what was bugging her she was very specific in her recall of the morning. "Nah, Kim was fine perhaps Hailey just didn't like what she heard."

"She said Kim…." Halstead started and stopped when he saw Adam's eye roll. "…what?"

"I'm not getting into this. Kim's fine, if she has an issue with Hailey then that's between them. I'm staying out of it and suggest you do as well."

"What's Kim's problem?"

That tipped Adam over the edge, he really wasn't in the mood for this. "What's Hailey's problem? What did she expect ambushing Kim outside her apartment? Kim's got a lot on her plate she doesn't need this. I don't need this so if that's the only reason you came then perhaps it's time you left. I'm too tired for this shit."

Halstead held up his hand in defeat, he wasn't going to push it. "Fair enough. Anyway, change of subject. Anything you need?"

"Nah, thanks though. It's all sorted. I have my sentries all sorted and I can tell you, I don't mess with them. Platt even has me drinking superfood green smoothies every morning."

"That I'd like to see."

Adam sighed. "There is a folder. Jay, I need you to be the one person that doesn't talk about all this, it's all people talk about. I can't do it anymore. Be that guy please?"

"Okay." He nodded, he could understand that. There was nothing more annoying than talking about the same thing over and over again with every single person you crossed paths with.

Veering away from the touchy subject of Kim and Hailey was the wisest thing they did and it didn't take long until they were bantering as usual and when Kevin came in it was like a boy's club without beer. Adam's nurse came in, rolled her eyes at the three of them, Halstead and Atwater had their feet up on the bed and dropped them to the floor as quick as they could. "I'm relying on you two…" she pointed at Adam's visitors as she checked his obs. "…to keep him in line. No shenanigans. No raves, no drinking, smoking or loud music."

"This place isn't fun Ruze." Atwater winked at the nurse, making her blush. Both Ruzek and Halstead were always happy with their work and thought they played a strong flirting game but sadly they bowed down to the master. Atwater was way too smooth for them.

They both made themselves scarce when Kim came back in. "Did he behave?" she put his bag down and leant in for a kiss before they left. One thing they knew they couldn't deny anymore was that they were together and they didn't want to either.

"Yes I did." He was so much happier now that she was back, even though he'd enjoyed the couple of hours with his buddies. It felt like old times, as much as you could in a hospital room. "Kev tried to smooze the nursing staff. I'm sure he'll have numbers and dates within the hour."

Kevin checked if she was right to get herself home, he could come back and pick her up but Kim had her car with her.

"Did you eat?" Adam watched as Kim swapped the clean clothes out of the bag for the dirty ones. He could only imagine what she did to his place while she was there. No doubt he'd get home to a spotless apartment and if he was lucky he might actually be able to find his favorite things.

"Of course."

"Liar." He grabbed for her hand and made her stop and look him in the eye. "What did you eat?"

"Something Platt cooked." Kim waved him away.

"Which was?"

Kim scrambled to think of one of the meals they'd been given. "I don't know, Vegetable Soup."

"Liar. It wasn't in the freezer. We ate that three days ago. Today's menu was Cauliflower and Kale Frittata." Platt also quizzed them every day on what they had eaten. It did seem that she was taking this all a little too seriously not that either of them were game enough to tell her that and they had to admit that the meals were all pretty tasty. She wasn't a bad cook at all.

"How do you know this?"

"Darlin', I've spent a lot of time reading that folder. It is very specific." Kim laughed a little, she sounded tired and he was going to make sure she went home early. "And she checks."

He insisted that she order in something from Uber Eats, his dinner was lacklustre and he'd barely eaten any of it. He wasn't sure he could stomach a burger but they gave them permission for him to try and after a week of eating Platt's Superfood Palooza it would be nice to lash out and eat food they enjoyed.

It wasn't until late the following afternoon that Adam was discharged. His final round of treatment left him feeling pretty washed out but he convinced them that being at home was the best thing for him and Kim promised that he would be confined to his bed, and watched like a hawk. Nurse Rachet was about to make a reappearance. "You'd pee for me if you could." Adam muttered when Kim was running through a million and one questions with the Nurse who was discharging him.

As soon as they got home he insisted that Kim lie down beside him. She had made him go straight to bed and then started fussing around with pillows, blankets, getting him a bottle of water and whatever else she thought he might need or want. "This is heaven." He sighed when Kim eased herself onto the bed and she had to admit it felt good. "I've been looking forward to this for days. Can we stay here forever?"

"Hmmm."

"What you thinking about?"

"That it's over." Kim propped herself up on one elbow and rested a hand on his chest. Feeling it rise and fall beneath her fingers. "I'm going to say it, this is it, it's over. All done and dusted."

"Yep."

Kim slid her hand under his t-shirt and felt his warm skin and watched Adam close his eyes. "I can't wait." When she stopped Adam told her to keep going. This wasn't going very far, not right now but this felt intimate enough. "I love you Adam."

"Good." He grabbed her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. "And I've never stopped loving you and I never will."

As the afternoon turned into evening and the room darkened with the looming night they planned their wedding, a simple ceremony with only Kev and Platt in attendance and dreamed of their trip. A year-long honeymoon ticking off all the places they wanted to see, no plans, no deadlines, no midnight callouts to crime scenes and the more they talked about it the better it sounded.

What started as just a dream was fast becoming much more than that.

It was time to start life again…together.