A/N: This was... an interesting idea I had. This story will be shifting from different points in time and is written in third person, but from Ness's perspective, who will be reminiscing about... many things.
The story shifts from many periods of time but the present is 12 years after the events of the game and so Ness, Paula and Jeff are 25 years old and Poo is 27. Anything in italics and quotation marks ('so like this') is someone saying something in a flashback – it should be fairly obvious who is speaking. Enjoy!
It was hard moving on. Of course it was. Ness had seen things. So many things. The dark side to Onett's Police Force, the Happy Happy Cultists, actual zombies that almost killed him.
Then Fourside happened. Ness won't ever forget the corruption he saw in the Runaway Five's manager and... Monotoli. Monotoli. Ness doesn't think he'll ever be able to truly forgive the man – and this is despite knowing Monotoli wasn't completely at fault. It was only on Paula's very desperate requests that Ness didn't manage to manifest a Rockin Gamma and obliterate him – even if doing so would have likely destroyed Ness's own mind as well.
And even after all that, he saw the strained bonds between the two Andonuts, he saw the madness those in the Stoic Club devolved into and he saw Poo's Mu training.
Even though Poo was the one to experience it all, Ness could still see it all. The breaking of his legs. The severing of his arms. The gouging of his eyes. The slicing of his ears. The taking of his mind.
Ness thought he'd have surely seen it all and he did get some respite – until the Stonehenge Base. For all that Buzz Buzz told about the future, Ness didn't, and now never will, know truly what would happen if Giygas won. But the Stonehenge Base gave more than enough of an idea... those people, lifeless, in those capsules while aliens and machines run rampant.
It's a future Ness is glad he'll never know.
Exploring the recesses of his own mind seemed like fun. And it was, he got to remember so many things, see lots of wacky stuff and even find a cool new bat!
And then he found the Mani Mani Statue again.
At first, Ness was confused – he had destroyed this thing, and he made sure it was completely destroyed - he whacked it for nearly an hour before Jeff could finally pull him away.
But in hindsight, it did make sense. It was responsible for Everdred's death. It started Pokey spiraling into Giygas's control. And, of course, was responsible for taking her... her away the first two times – though, it mattered little when Ness thought about the third he lost her... That statue fueled his nightmares for days... so, of course, his nightmare chose that form as a physical representation.
But even then... none of it compared to the end. That's what Ness always referred to it as. The end. Being robotised... it was a feeling like being dead... and yet very much still alive. Travelling back in time, knowing that he could very well die, and everything he worked for would be for nothing.
And Giygas. Giygas. What is there to say? For all the preparation he'd done for this moment, nothing could have ever prepared him for what this.
But looking back, it wasn't Giygas's Devil Machine and the fact that it was him, Ness, on it and the fact that Giygas could somehow use PSI Rockin, his, Ness's, own PSI.
It wasn't seeing what Pokey had become, so pale and... lifeless, just a shadow of what he once was.
It wasn't even bearing witness to the abomination that Giygas eventually regressed to and the fact that they were powerless before him, forced to pray for help against his inexplicable PSI.
Oh, those all certainly gave Ness's Nightmare all the food it could ever ask for... but none of that ever really mattered.
It was the fact that despite not knowing what Giygas was, where he came from and what he wanted... Ness couldn't help but feel... sorry.
Those demonic screeches of pain, 'friends... Maria?', that twisted screaming, 'yarghh...' and, and, his body melting together, 'I... feel.. good.' and, and, and,
'It hurts, Ness, Ness, it hurts, IT HURTS!'
Was Giygas even responsible for everything? Was it mercy... to kill him? To put him out of his misery? Or were they only just adding to his pain? Ness... didn't know. He'll never know...
And even after... when it was all over. Ness thought he could return back to life as if it were... normal. As if none of this ever happened. He knows now how foolish he was to ever think that. How could things be 'normal', when he had seen things adults would never? It couldn't.
But for a while, Ness thought things could be normal. He believed it, he truly believed it. Everyone was happy. The two Andonuts were as reunited and seemed to have reached a mutual understanding. It would take time, of course, but the two seemed to be heading to a bright future, together.
Poo has learnt so much from his journey and was now truly ready to accept his place as King of Dalaam, seeing it not as a burden or a duty, but as an honor. And, even now, Ness can't deny that he made an excellent king... though a lousy friend. But, Ness won't try and argue that Poo's lacking friendship in him means that he must be a bad king... as nice as it would feel right now.
And, then her... Paula... she asked him, Ness to escort her home. Ness was on cloud nine all throughout that walk. And at the end... he finally did it. He asked her on a date. And she said yes! She said yes, to him. Him.
For the rest of Ness's walk, he thought of nothing but the future. How he and Paula would walk through life together, helping each other, how everyone would look at them, the love that they would share, and even... more... or as Jeff put it...
"Well, if you two get hitched someday, maybe I'll be the one that fixes your broken electronic appliances."
How nice. How nice, right? Just a sweet innocent comment, a joke about a possible future, the future that could have been, that future that should have been. It was just a nice little remark, to make, right, there was nothing really to it, right, he didn't know, Jeff wasn't thinki –
"DAMN YOU, JEFF ANDONUTS!"
The walls of Lumine Hall crackled before the words appeared in sync with the enraged psychic's voice.
...no, no, no, wait... wait a second... that's getting way too far ahead.
Back to the point, the two psychics were together after a long, arduous journey. And they were happy together. The two went on many dates together and eventually married each other, had two beautiful children and lived happily ever af – OF COURSE NOT!
But to Ness, it should have ended that way. But in truth, only two things stated were actually true... the two psychics did get together after a long, arduous journey... and they did go on many dates.
Ness wasn't sure exactly when it all broke down... was it gradually, over time... or was it at a moment, like a flick of the switch? It seemed more likely to be the first.
Every day, it felt as if everything was becoming unstable for Ness. He became more... cynical. Where he was once happy to play with the younger kids in the treehouse, now he shunned them. What was the point? They didn't see all the things he did. Why... waste his time?
He grew agitated at the small things... why didn't people care about the things they had? They just went on, constantly trying to one – up each other.
'We saved you! And you don't even care!'
Pirkle was still the Mayor of Onett, and still relied on keeping people in the dark about everything. Captain Strong was still the chief after the questionable things he did – and he never arrested Lardna Minch for all of her abuse of her child. Rumours had it that the two were having an affair. That... disgusted Ness quite a bit.
And on the topic of Minches, there was Pokey. Ness won't ever forget the letter. Everyone - his parents, Tracy, Poo, Jeff, Paula, heck, even Picky, all admitted that Pokey was responsible for his own actions. Giygas may have started it all, but even after he died, Pokey still kept going along the path. He chose it.
But Ness knows that Pokey didn't. It was his fault. He was the one who pushed Pokey away at every point. After the Happy Happy Cultists. After the Mani Mani Statue was destroyed. After Giygas.
What if... what if things were different? In truth, Ness wasn't the biggest fan of Pokey. But... he would never have wanted this to happen. And he could have stopped it. But he didn't.
The guilt weighed down on him for eternity.
And then the future. Ness knew what he wanted his future with Paula to be. But academically? Ness was never good in school – and after missing almost a year's worth of work combined with a lack of direction meant he had even more to worry about. Apart from baseball, Ness didn't have anything he was particular interested in.
Heck, even baseball was failing him - he was kicked off the team after being absent for that long.
But while the day brought stress, it was certainly preferable to the night. His dreams were never the same after the journey. Every day, he would see him.
Giygas.
'It hurts... why... I feel good. I miss... you... I miss you... Ness...'
The horrifying swirls that he was made up of haunted his mind... his power swirling through his mind. And then, sometimes it was Pokey instead.
"Ness, no... Pig's Butt! Hahaha! Look at us now! I'm the king of the universe and this planet is just a playground for me! Who's the coolest one now?! Me! Me, me, me, me! Pokey! Master Pokey! That almighty idiot is dead! And upon his grave, I am God! And you, Ness? You're just one of my toys. But don't worry... you're my favorite toy. You've always been my favorite toy. And we'll have lots of fun, together. Forever."
And the guilt only doubled from there on.
But there was his friends! Ness was sure that they would know he was feeling. And they did help him out. Poo knew how to handle horror from his own meditation and Mu training. Jeff also give his own insights into how he felt, with him admitting that he was struggling to adjust back to life.
But... both were able to adjust far more easily than Ness. Both had their own skills that let them easily find their way – Poo was the Crown Prince in addition to a beloved ruler and Jeff's intellectual and mechanical prowess was on par with his own father - after the adventure, Dr Andonuts was even spending more time with his son, so it seemed like he would have a bright future.
If Ness remembers correctly, the bastard did have a bright future as well – becoming the finder of Andonuts Incorporated soon after he turned 18. It was an organization that created machines to improve people's lives, like the Instant Revitalizing Device which, after some adjustments, was mass produced and distributed to hospitals all over.
They also did some research into weapons – making an efficient version of the Gaia Beam was one of the biggest breakthroughs they made. Finally, they did some general tech support – like installations, some tech support and things like... fixing broken... electronic... applian – GODDAMN IT!
... moving on though, at the time, his friends really did help him out.
But none more than she did. Paula. Sweet, glorious Paula, the love of his life. She was... everything. She was his world. She kept him sane. Whenever Ness was having a bad day – which tended to be most days, he could always call on Paula to uplift him. She was his crutch in life and Ness was certain that without her... he would have given up a long time ago.
But for Paula, things were so much different. She was... happy. At least, she thought she was. But it was hard being in a relationship. She enjoyed her dates with Ness... but she was finding it hard. Ness was... changing. His eyes shone, not with the bright purple she once loved, but with a dull grey, that grew darker by the day.
Ness was bitter. Paula would show him some pretty flowers or some funny drawings the children did, only for him to scoff in derision. When she asked what he wanted to do in the future, he never had a response. He never knew.
When she reached out to his mind, there would be nothing initially. Until a few moments later, where Ness's mind filled with so many emotions. So much negativity, and yet... she could still feel his love. For her.
She told herself, it was natural. Ness had gone through more than she could imagine, even after it all ended. He needed her help, and one day, one day, he'd be Ness again. He'd be... bright and joyous and full again. For five years, she waited for Ness.
And at times, she could see it. She could feel the happiness, the sheer joy, radiating off of him. It was moment like this that made Paula hopeful – hopeful that Ness would be... back.
And over time, Ness was regaining stability over his life, he had his girlfriend, he had his friends, he wasn't doing too badly in school, the nightmares had even started to wane, everything was... better. Everything was good, life was good, no, better than good! It was great! It was great.
So life had to throw another curveball at him. When Ness was 17, he came home one day and... he saw his mother. Crying. Sobbing. He asked what was wrong. He wished he didn't.
"We're getting a divorce."
Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Ah. Ahhh. Of course. Of course you are. Why... why not? Why... does... every... single... thing in his life... NEVER LAST!
His mom would spend her days and nights alone. Tracy would just stowaway to herself and spend all her time either working for the Escargo Express or shut up in her room, refusing to speak to anyone but Picky. Which left just Ness. Alone.
But it taught Ness an important lesson – nothing lasts. Not even love.
But... does that mean... the same applies for... Paula? No. It couldn't. They were strong. They had been through so much together and they were still here. It won't happen. IT WON'T HAPPEN!
With the divorce and all that it brought, Ness started to... regress once more. Paula kept trying to help him, reaching out to his mind to try and help him with his issues. But... unlike before, he only kept getting worse. Like a disease, that couldn't be cured. She could feel their connection wavering. It grew weaker, day by day...
Until one day, she reached out... and there was nothing. She felt nothing. She waited, trying desperately to clutch onto anything.
His... his love of baseball. Nothing. His love for his family. Nothing. His love for his friends. Nothing.
His love for... her. Nothing.
Nothing at all.
But everything else was still there. His sorrow, anger, envy, hatred, guilt, doubt, and at the centre of it all, a heart full of despair. She looked at his eyes, and they were stone. The person before her... it... wasn't Ness. It was... soulless. There was nothing left.
And then... that day. The day. Ness... will always... the day. He'll never forget it.
"Ness... I... I don't know what's wrong. I thought I could help... but... I can't. There's so much... pain inside of you and... I, I just... I don't think I can keep... I can't keep doing this... I love you, I really do... but... I'm sorry. I think... I think we should stop seeing each other."
Ness can't remember if he said anything. If he did, it would have been meaningless. It didn't matter. None of did. Because... that day... that was it. He lost Paula. The last thing that kept him... alive. It was...
Gone. Gone. GONE!
Ness... didn't know... what to do. His life... everything... was... falling apart. Lost...
One week after his 18th birthday, Ness searched his room for some things. His ATM Card. Some clothes. His Legendary Bat. A PSI Stone Poo had given him, to help him with his psychic powers. A special Swiss Army Knife that Jeff has given him. And... a teddy bear that Paula gave him, in the hopes it would help with his nightmares.
That night, Ness decided to sleep outside. Away from... everyone. Where it all began. The meteorite. To get his bearings. To figure out how to move on. But how could he? Paula... was indescribable. And... now, it was... over? What did... he do? Was it his fault...?
No... Ness... you were perfect... you saved her. Remember... I know... you know... you saved her twice... and then... she abandoned you.
"But I still... love her. And I thought... love was the only thing you needed..."
How could he go back? To his mom, who would try and comfort him, when he didn't deserve it, when she needed comfort instead? To Tracy, who was suffering from the divorce and who had Picky to support her?
To Jeff, who had established a company so large that it would soon eclipse the company Ness's father worked for, and was far more successful, both in terms of career and family, then Ness?
To Poo, who was beloved by all his subjects and brought Dalaam from a growing area into a powerful nation, with people all over the world that looked up to him?
And Paula... who was everything in Ness's life. But she couldn't help him anymore.
No one could. That night, Ness accepted that... he was all alone. So... he could never go back. And he didn't.
The next day, Ness Mason was declared legally missing by the Onett Police.
Though many looked high and low for him, no one ever found him. Not even his own friends or family.
Because no one could get to where he was. He went to the eight places no one else could step foot in without him. The Sanctuaries. Ness made the Sanctuaries his own.
He never stayed in one for long either - after one and a half months, he would move to a different one.
But surely Ness would have needed food and drink to survive? And indeed, he did – every so often, he would get three hamburgers and some bottles of water from one of the towns – he always kept changing which one, to keep a low profile. And how often did Ness venture out for supplies?
Once every four months.
Indeed, Ness, was also surprised initially by how little he actually required to keep himself alive. But he figured it out. It was the Sanctuaries, the conduits to the power of the Earth. They sustained him for long periods of time, so long as two things remained intact - Ness's mind and his will to live. And hey, the first condition was fairly to meet.
The second... was not.
Ness remembered spending many nights just using the knife Jeff gave him, and cutting himself with it. He sliced as hard and deep as he could into his arms, dropping enough blood to stain the Sanctuaries. Every time, he'd pass out from the blood loss.
But every time, he'd wake up, as if nothing happened - the Sanctuaries would heal him.
Ness isn't sure why he kept doing it. He knew he wouldn't die as long as he stayed inside of the Sanctuaries. But at the same time... he was almost too scared to do this outside of them. He wasn't sure if he wanted to die. Nor was he sure if he wanted to live.
In truth... he just wanted to suffer. And this was the perfect way - he could feel as much pain as he wanted, but he would never die.
For three years, Ness lived like this - though he did start to visit more areas than just the Sanctuaries. There were times in which he would camp in Grapefruit Falls, Deep Darkness and the Lost Underworld - being areas that few people would ever want to visit, yet ones he was very familiar with and could easily live in.
Ironically enough, when camping in these areas, he found something that he was actually good at - survival. His adventure had given him the strength he needed to survive in the wild, in addition to experience in how nature worked.
Of course, he didn't have to worry about nearly as many things attacking him now that Giygas was gone, but the few things that did rarely gave Ness cause to worry - although as Ness did find out, taking on a dinosaur many times larger than you is a lot more difficult on your own then it is with three others by your side.
So Ness decided to try learning some of the PSI his friends could - if only so he could pretend they were there with him. Ness drew from his desires to be with them again... he wanted to be able to meditate with Poo... he wanted to help Jeff with his experiments... he wanted to kiss Paula again...
But he couldn't do any of that. He left that all behind, and they were better off... without him.
He learned to use Fire and Freeze, to remind him of Paula as well as Thunder and Brainshock to remind of Poo - though he was wasn't able to use any of those PSI abilities as well as his friends could. He even went to Scaraba to buy a Bazooka so he could have a part of Jeff with him.
But Ness was painfully aware that none of those could ever replace them.
Still, Ness carried on.
It wasn't until a few weeks after Ness turned 21 that he made any substantial changes to his life. Ness headed to Winters for some food - it had been about 4 months, and it was there he found something that would forever change his viewpoint on... many things.
Ness teleported to the store near the Snow House Boarding School but when he emerged, he saw that both the store and the school were decorated rather heavily. A celebration? But there was no holiday at this time of year. Maybe it was a Winters thing he was unaware of? Probably.
Ness headed inside and got his usual supplies... but before he went to pay, something caught his eye. The newspapers. He decided to take a closer look at one.
Strike One.
On the front page, was a 21 year old Jeff Andonuts. Out of curiosity to know what he'd come up with in the last 3 years, Ness decided to buy it.
Strike Two.
And outside of the store, Ness saw a bench, so he decided to sit on it and open the newspaper.
Strike Three.
The front page read: "Genius Scientist gets married!"
"Woah! Jeff's getting married? Man... I wish I was like him..."
Ness started having his own wistful thoughts of marriages... so many marriages he'd never see... his parents, Poo's, Jeff's, Paula's, Tracy's and of course, his own...
But... it didn't really matter now, did it? Ness continued reading.
'The famous Foggylandian scientist, Dr Jeffery Andonuts, the 21 year old founder of Andonuts Incorporated and a distinguished philanthropist, recently caused quite the stirring in both the scientific and educational communities by announcing his proposal to the person he referred to as the love of his life.
Though young, the scientist has accomplished many feats for his age, making many scientific breakthroughs in addition to being a member of the Chosen Four, and being married appears to be another thing this man will be doing at a young age! His fiancée is the same age as him - a locally beloved teacher -...'
At first, Ness thought he was dreaming. This was just some incredibly vicious nightmare that didn't involve Giygas or Pokey... which as it happens, would make this the first nightmare in which neither of them played a part... but there was a first time for everything, right? Right? RIGHT?!
Sadly, a stab in the arm discounted that possibility.
Maybe this was hell? Yes, that made sense - Ness had tried to kill himself loads of times. Law of averages - the more times you try and kill yourself, the higher the chance that one of those attempts is actually successful! And Ness knew that he was a despicable human being that deserved to go to hell, so this was it! It made sense!
But one bite of a hamburger and its succulent flavors indicated to Ness that this probably wasn't the case either.
Which left Ness with the simple truth: the three words he just read were true.
But he wished they weren't.
For following the description of Jeff's fiancée, was their name given by three words:
Paula Polestar Jones.
A/N: So, kinda hit a roadblock with Behind The Mask, and my brain won't do anything with that until I've finished this.
This was going to be a one shot, but right now, I'm half way into what will be the second chapter... and owing to the length of both chapters, making them one would have been... unwise.
Still, I'm writing that chapter as if it were a part of this so I can't really talk about this chapter without the next one - the only thing I'll comment is that I really need a better chapter title. Hence, I'll be giving a more complete overview after the second one.