Chapter 5:
Time for the Roof
Note: Just a little more backstory to Aby I'm playing with. Don't know if anyone needs it but here's that. Not as short as I thought it would be.
Aby leaned over the railing as she watched the view that overlooked Hell. Rubbing at her back, trying to push the pain away. She couldn't remember the last time she had been forced to pull out her wings. If she had to describe it, it probably be that it felt similar to playing soccer with both your legs asleep the entire time. It wouldn't have turned out this way if she had just stretched her wings like she was supposed to. But they were just such a pain in the ass. Her wings had always been a bit on the extra-large side compared to her body. As a child it had been far worse; she was the Dumbo of angels. Plus, she just couldn't bare the sight of them. Even if no one in the human world knew she had them; she knew. That was enough. Her mind immediately thought of her older brother Luci.
When he first got sent to Hell, he had cut his wings off. When she was younger, she would sneak off to meet up with Luci at the gates of Hell. It was a burned, dried up barren wasteland in every direction. Think Lion King after Scar becomes king only- more…dead. Despite that, even as a child, she wasn't afraid of it. Her motivation being to see her brother. It was worth it every time. That didn't vanquish the pain she felt at seeing her brother without his wings. Aby thought deep down, that he knew. He understood her better than she understood herself. Which was why, he never let her see his back if he could help it. Instead, they would talk or play a game. The game was usually some form of a scavenger hunt. Win or lose, Luci would kiss his sister's head as a reward for a job well done. He made a tradition of bringing a peach up with him. It would be split in half and shared between the siblings. Aby would get the half with the cod. Luci would tell her to plant it somewhere. And she would. Not very many made it in the human world. Only a handful ever grew. And Aby looked after each and every one. She was so attached to her trees. They were gifts to her beloved brother.
She worshipped her brother, wanting nothing more than to be like him in every way. Luci was a natural leader. He was smart, crafty, resourceful, powerful and respected, as well as feared, by all. He was also dad's favorite. Aby was the youngest of all their siblings and by far had the largest age gap from all of them. In Earth terms it would be similar to if you and five of your siblings were somewhere between seventeen and early twenties. Then came the infant that you got to take turns raising as it spit fire or chucked acid. Get the picture? Because of this, and her quirks, none of the other siblings tolerated her unless dad ordered them to. The only exception, besides Luci, was Gabriel who was the older sibling who convinced the youngest to do dumb shit just to see the looks on everyone's faces when she got caught. Luci just laughed. Gabriel would reward Aby by letting her play with his trumpet. Doing this knowing the youngest was too cute to get in much trouble for it. Gabriel's words- not Aby's. Which, looking back, was probably why Aby built a love of pranks. And why she was so good at the bugle in her days spent at the barracks.
But, hands down, she loved the piano most. See, all angels are assigned an instrument to play. It was one of those things. You were created, named, given a weapon, a mission, a book, a quill, and an instrument. It was either the angel's starter pack, or dad's way of keeping them busy so he didn't have to do much for them. Regardless, Aby had never known her mission. One of the tests an angel had to pass as a trial for their coming of age ceremony was to figure it out. These day, she refused to consider she ever had one. Most angels had their shit together by a week of being in paradise tops. She had managed to go a whole fucking lot longer than that, forgetting to count the time, and still failed. Her book was a sketchbook. Her quill came from a Hawk. It was sturdy, nice, and plain. As a result, she would steal Luci's quill which came from the tail feather of a male peacock. Liking the colors and finding it pretty. Her weapon was a double-edged dagger. What made her dagger stand out was the hilt was littered with water patterns while the blade had been engraved with hearts. As for her instrument, Aby had been assigned the flute. Unfortunately, back then, when she played it the only noise she could successfully make was more in line with a kazoo. It was impressively stupid. Aby still didn't know how she managed it. Which is why she spent most of her time running around playing her sibling's instruments instead of practicing. Once, getting her hands on her older sister Rebecca's violin. It pissed her off that Aby had taken it without asking. But when everyone saw she could play it better than Rebecca, that was the straw that made her go into full-on-mega-bitch-rage-mode.
Aby truly believed she survived in paradise as long as she did because Luci was never too far from her to run to. He literally kept her under his wing at all times. She would bury her face in his robes and cry. He would play piano in his study while she napped on his bright, soft, pure snow-white wings. Yes- white. Everyone in the human world always depicted him with black wings, especially after his banishment, but that was probably her fault. They also thought him to be blonde, but that was just his color in Hell. Lilith's too. When she saw them above, they both had ebony black hair. However, back in paradise, Luci's hair color was red. Aby patted her hair.
My hair color has never changed. She noticed. I've always had dark brown hair.
Aby's hair looked dark brown in sunlight. But if it was the lighting was bad enough where she was, that made it appear black. Down here in Hell, it went as far as appearing, she had highlights with her hair getting lighter as it got further down her back. Aby had gotten used to it, but still didn't know what it was about the worlds that made everyone change form. She had learned early on that the level at the gates was the torture level. Also called 'The Room' level. This where the souls go to be tormented, broken and, if they were too weak, destroyed. Those whose will was too strong to break, just morphed quicker into a more appropriate demon form. From here, two things happened. You were either so strong you went straight to the lowest level and joined the civilization made there. Or- you wondered the other levels in between the two. The other levels down were overrun by mindless, carnivore demons. They had no abilities besides killing. They were hungry predators who fought to escape. Aby wondered what happened to them when the AAs came through from paradise down to the lowest level. The beasts would fight anything that crossed their paths, even each other. Aby could only imagine how the caverns of the other levels must have appeared. Before her imagination could draw out the image, Aby's hair smacked her in the face.
The breeze Aby had been relaxing in had picked up. Aby pushed her hair out of her face when it calmed back down. It was stronger up here than it had been down on the ground. She dropped her head, burying her face in her hands. Her distraction, to no avail, had kept her from what she had been running from. The fight with Angel had kept replaying in her head. Her instincts pulling at her. The voice in her heart yelling at her. Aby was getting more confused with each day. She had pushed her connections to any living creature down for so long now she couldn't function with them rioting the way they had been. Since she got dragged down here! Now she has…feelings. And- morals. She feels the distress. She swallows the pride. She fights the lust. She even tasted the blood from biting her tongue so hard. Aby looked to her side.
"What's his problem? I'm not a mind reader. How am I supposed to know what's wrong if he won't talk to me?" Aby ranted to no one in particular. Looking at the scene, she calmed down a bit.
Razzle and Dazzle were currently poking at Blitz-o as he laid, curled in a ball, on her hammock. They stopped long enough to give her a look.
"Oh, you know what I mean", she scolded them. She knew that look.
Aby dropped her shoulders as she observed Blitz-o. He had fallen asleep waiting for Aby to come back to sign for the delivery. About a week after her first fight with Charlie, she had sought out the services of the Imperial Murder Professionals; IMPs for short. She had no clue what they did, just that they were the weakest rank demons in Hell. That, and they also had access to the human world. She hadn't able to leave Hell for more than an hour in a 72-hour interval, but she hadn't been able to shake the lead imp either. Aby had found that, from time to time, he wasn't bad company to have around. Blitz-o could be a positive influence to Aby, which is why she hadn't lost her mind yet. He had the tendency to do what he wanted, when he wanted. Like a child getting into the cookie jar because his parents didn't keep it out of reach and couldn't be bothered to get on him for it. Aby checked on him for a moment. He was in a sound, deep sleep. Aby frowned. Watching him brought up a lot of memories she had repressed till now. The fallen angel looked to the goat boys. They sat wagging their tails. The frown remained in its place. The owner of it turned as she began to sing to cope.
"I've been through ten high schools. They start to get blurry. No point planting roots 'cause you're gone in a hurry. I always keep two suitcases packed in the den. So, it's only a matter of when."
She climbed onto the railing, walking it like a tightrope. Seeing if she could make it all the way down or fall trying. Aby began looking back on the different lives she had lived until now. Each person she had spoken to and how she came to know them. The ones who stuck out first were the ones she met in the less happy moments. Some on a bridge. Some in the forest. More in a hospital waiting room. Others in a school bathroom. All in great amounts of pain. Most had suffered in silence for too long. Others just didn't know how to speak up. Occasionally, she came across one that just needed a kick in the ass. Sometimes, one who just wanted a kiss and a wave goodbye as they ran into the fire. All had been found by Aby before anything else could happen. Those who weren't so lucky were either returned for burial or hidden so no one could know what they had endured. Aby could now identify almost every type of scent decay could make. Somehow, never going too far from death's doorstep.
It was the only thing she could think to do with the time she had. More times than not, it had a lot to do with her own 'programming'. The type of power she possessed. At least- that's what she told herself. Truth was, until she came down to Hell, she had forgotten what it felt like. To know when you really love someone when you want to versus when you have to. What was the difference?
"I don't learn the names. Don't bother with faces. All I can trust is this concrete oasis."
Making it to the edge, she jumped back down to the siting space. Hitting the last note, she waved her hand over the horizon of Hell. Starring out into the distance, not able to tell the difference from all the long nights alone. She sung just like this in the human world. At some point, Aby had given up trying to catch every victim of life. She had gotten older, she couldn't do the things she could as a child. Like hope. Her understanding of the cold world might have had something to do with it too, but she didn't give it that much credit. Time had changed things too fast for her to grant it that privilege. Humans also lived too short of a lifespan. One century the empire was conquering the world, the next it had been a story to tell your son when you wanted him to grow up powerful. One war a man would lie about his height, another a woman lied about how she left overnight without telling anybody. That being said, some things didn't change as much as they needed to.
Humans always submitted to their crueler natures. The only thing they seemed to do was get better at hiding it. For those who couldn't hide it, they made the perfect excuse. Learning their self-righteous systems for the sole purpose of using the loopholes. Creating another group or tribe to dismiss someone else's existence to spite them. As if to say, 'I make this thing that you can't have to make you question you and your kind. May you rot in your own thoughts and your soul die waiting for you to complete yourself'. It was the society. Everyone had a dark side that they couldn't fight. Hell's overpopulation was standing proof of that. Unless heaven was fucking the system. But the idea was too blasphemous; even her Aby's rebellious, troubled teen status. Which she only held since she looked underage. Via her magic.
"Seems every time I'm about to despair, there's a 7-11 right theeere. Each store is the same from Las Vegas to Boston. Linoleum aisles that I looove to get lost in. I pray at my altar of sluuuuush."
Or maybe it was her immaturity. She had gone through the cycle that people always showed immortals having in movies. The old speak, the old clothes, and even the isolated castle on the lighting strike hill. If it was now a trope; she was the 'OG', who created it. But that was exactly the point. You can only pull that shit for so long before the pitch forks and psychologists came out to poke, pick, and pry at you. That is, if you're lucky enough to get caught by them before the scientist with the oversized needle found you. Then it would come down to how many experiments you could survive. A fun game of 'burn everything to the fucking ground' always followed that. In most cases, it would have a body count of forty or more. Aby knew she had to do something before she became too comfortable killing humans. Bad or no. So, she adapted. Learned to convince those around her she was more innocent and stupid than she actually was.
Granted her brother Lucifer had given her some pointers. He was the only one besides Gabriel who was ever decent in the matter. From teaching her to control her powers, communicating with humans, and all-around finding things to do in the human world. Now, that being said, she didn't enjoy all the same things her older bros had. Gabriel had taken a shine to chain letters, living at the middle-class status to get by. Luci loved the shiny club life, staying on the upper-class title. Aby had bounced around on all branches of class. She was inspired to try as many things as she could. Watch every movie. Sing every song. Sit in every religious temple. Eat every kind of food- even the street vender foods. You haven't lived until you looked a vender in the eye in New York as you downed a hot dog surprise in one bite in a 'skimpy' outfit and walked away, swishing yours hips without puking. Best free snack ever. Feeling peck-ish, she pulled a bag of candy from her pocket taking some of its contents in hand to play with. It was a pretzel snack. Salty. A nice relish to have when one was in the mood for it. However, there was one thing she came to enjoy more than any flavor. The taste of sweets.
"Yeah, I liiive for that sweet frozen ruuuuush!"
That was the taste of happiness if she knew it. Every time, without fail, a friend, a smile, a laugh- all came together when she had something sweet in her hand. People who had left a war-torn village. People who found their dream had been realized. People who felt the anniversary of their birth was something special. A wedding. A breakup that allowed for growth. A graduation. A welcome. Every victory held a stance in her eyes. Every shred of acceptance or content was significant. It was worth something. And every cheer of good luck or shout of joy made her jump in excitement. Aby spent every new year's out on the town just to watch the people around her give out false promises and hopes as though they were free prizes. To some they were. To others they were a fun memory to hold onto when the regret came later to weigh them down. Aby looked around her and saw a home when the sky filled with starlight and confetti. She felt free.
She could honestly say that unless the person across from her didn't like them, there wasn't a single time sugar hadn't been associated with someone's happiness for her. All her best memories came from a candy, or a cookie, or a pastry. She had never met a man, woman, or child who couldn't find the silver lining when that poison hit their tongue. Babies were her favorite to watch. How they clung to her, asking for more. More treats, love, and things to discover. All from a small bit of that trap. When she was really lucky, she even got a new memory from someone asking to spend time in their life with her. As rare as that was. She would get to partake in meaningless human courting rituals. Like swimming at a beach, walking for a long time among the plant life, watching fireworks and sharing a drink. Sooner or later she would leave, but those times stuck with her. Yes, she loved her sweets. Maybe that's why she ate it non-stop.
"Freeze your braaain. Suck on that straw. Get lost in the paaain. Happiness comes when everything numbs. Who needs cocaaaaaine?"
Aby thought of Angel again. Still, wanting to go to him and talk. She slammed her hand on the railing as she summoned a drink in a martini glass to her hand. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a magical powder. Sprinkling it into the glass, watching the liquid whirlpool as an image came into sight. Soon the reflection of her expecting face faded only to be replaced by the porn star sitting in a bar with his best friend, turf leader Cherri. They were dolled up in nice clothes that signified their availability. They drank shots, laughed, and made jokes about blowing up this guy or blowing that guy. Aby kept watch over them. Singing to herself still.
"Freeeze your braaaain. Freeeeze your braaaaain."
Aby offered the snacks she had been working on to the goat boys asking, "Care for a hit?"
They snatched the bag, taring it apart and pigged out on the pretzel bits. Aby smiled, shifting her gaze to the two in the glass. Angel had just finished guzzling another drink while his lower set of arms pulled his top up, flashing the demons in the bar. They cheered at the top of their lungs, pleased with the free show. Cherri had tossed a bomb at the feet of the group in the middle. It went off throwing the demons from their seats in every direction. Out of the seven sitting, four of them came into contact with another demon. It was about three swings later, a bar fight broke out. Angel snatched up a drink with one hand, two of his others holding his tommy guns. He smacked his lips together before pushing his back to Cherri's ready to brawl. Cherri gave him a playful shove with her shoulder as she lit the fuse on another bomb and tossed it. Looking at Angel over her shoulder she teased him.
"Does 'mommy' know you're drinking all this crap?"
"Not anymore." Aby hit the surface of her drink, using the ripple to break the spell. She knew Cherri was referring to her. She just didn't think it would hurt so much to be the boring friend. Or that Cherri would disapprove of her. If that's what it was- Aby couldn't tell.
"When mom was alive, we lived halfway normal. Now it's just me and my bro- we're less formal. I learned to cook pasta. I learned to pay rent. Learned the world doesn't owe you a ceeeent."
Aby supposed she disserved a bit of fun poking since she couldn't handled the situation better. It wouldn't have been the first time. It also wasn't the worst thing she'd ever been called. Some part of her was grateful for that. Humans could be so… bizarre. At least, that's the word she used when it came from children. Even now, she couldn't grasp the dynamic they invented at that age. Taking to forming groups and picking someone to outcast. The earlier days had been harder since the rules were more along the lines of if you aren't incapacitated while heavily bleeding or dead, you're fine. And that was after the era called the 'medieval' times. Back then she endured many things. Being chased down for two miles and having her head dunked, to the point of nearly being drowned, in the river. In winter. In Russia. In island or fishing dependent countries she would come into a room and have an octopus carcass thrown on her dripping wet. Sometimes crayfish water would substitute it. One of the worst, was a time Aby had a little shit-stain forced a graphite stick in her ear while her friends held Aby down to keep her in place. When it broke apart, she used a regular twig to rupture Aby's ear drum. Aby covered her right ear at the memory, shivering at the recollection of the physical pain. Her scream vibrating the bones of her ears didn't help things when it happened. Of course, not all the kids she had in class were like that.
"You're planning your future, Monica Sawyer. You'll go to some college and marry a lawyer."
Aby had sung the name recalling the girl of said name who had wished for that after reading too many Harlequin Novels. She came from a life that had been average; for far too long. With her parents pressuring her to be better than them in life, they didn't understand just what they were asking of her. Monica would spend countless hours practicing speaking multiple languages, studying for multiple math classes and even playing sports and taking dance lessons. Never a moment to herself. Never a care for any of the things her parents forced on her. Aby recalled this girl who had taken to going to the roughest part of the city just to try to get into some trouble. To quit being so perfect and to either get herself a backbone to take control of her life or to get put down like a dog. Monica didn't plan far enough ahead to care which came first. However, she hadn't planned for the group of men in the alley. There had been five of them. They surrounded her and pinned her easily. Aby had been keeping an eye on her for a while by that point. Stabbing the attackers, she covered Monica in her jacket since the poor girl's clothes were in tethers. She took her home and the two formed a solid friendship after that. Monica never tried anything like that again.
"But the sky's gonna hurt when it faaalls. So, you better start building some waaaalls."
There had been times she had to give some bad advice in order to get through to a person. Some people just didn't learn the lesson any other way. Hell, even then, they sometimes didn't learn. Alex Peterson had been one of them. The boy in an academy mommy and daddy had dumped him at to keep him educated and out of their hair. Aby had caught him feeding a fish gut sandwich to a boy in a lower grade class. The two duked it out, Aby whipping his ass with an old fashioned, but effective, shot to the crotch. Though she hated to admit it, she aimed for that spot in close combat first to decipher pain resistance on an opponent. Alexander hadn't given her too much trouble after that. He didn't get much wiser from it either. The last anybody heard of him, he had gone to hunt a wolf while drunk with some friends. Which was fuckery of an imbecilic proportion without the information it was also mating season. That last part added insult to injury.
His brother Mike couldn't figure out how to react when the news hit him. The school board had given him a three-day break to mourn, which he spent in his dorm. Aby had gone to visit him. Taking with her, something she hoped he would eat. He was one of the first boys she ever let cry into her shoulder past her childhood. Most had made the decision to cry in her presence, taking full advantage of having someone who would listen to their woes, but few ever cried into her. Even less than that were ever held in her arms by her; a habit she should have kept given her current issue. Mike was never the same after that. After Alex, people saw Mike differently, trying to get close to him. Be his friend. But he rarely let them. Aby noticed he only let those who had something to offer him close to him. Aby didn't get the chance to figure it out since she departed not long after that. She had heard through the grape vine he got engaged to a nice girl just before graduation, but that he was shot in a robbery in town the weekend after. It would be fifteen years before Aby would dare visit his grave. Running her finger over the string that attached to the toe of the body in the ground on one end and a bell on the other. Though she had slowly been pulling away from it. Mike was one of the last people she prayed for.
"Freeze your braaaaain. Swim in the ice. Get lost in the pain. Shut your eyes tight, till you vanish from sight. Let nothing remaaaaaain. Freeze your braaaaain. Shatter your skull. Fight pain with more pain."
Another struggle Aby faced was her impulsive nature. The part of her that had rushed to help even when nobody asked her to. The definitely had gotten her in more trouble than she could get herself out of. Mainly when it involved a sick family member getting better after she had been caught injecting something in their IV. Because of this, there were times she missed the days of old medicine. Where you could blow smoke from a fire in someone's face, call it a day, the patient would get better and you were just called a witch. People only came to you when they needed something and were desperate. And under those circumstances, Aby had a chance to be treated like a person worth knowing. Small deals here and there in exchange for her potions and elixirs which were magical but not available to everyone. Though maybe it was for the best that it went out of style after all. Aby was well passed the miracle business. As a fallen, she technically had no right to run such a line of work anyway. It would be pushing her luck with God if he decided to grow a pair and smite her.
Which led to an inside joke between her and Luci. The no-no list. For example, killing wasn't against her code. Actually, just the opposite. She got very good at it. At one point she had worked as an assassin. In modern life, when she couldn't finds work at the local grocery store, she went straight for the snipper gun and looked for work that way. With or without her magic, she was a formidable fighter. That being said, she did have a few unfair advantages that she couldn't help. Her defense status was one of them. After you fall from paradise and land in the human world and survive, you just don't feel pain the same way anymore.
"Forget who you are. Unburden your loooad. Forget in six weeks you'll be back on the roooad. When the voice in your head says, 'You're better off dead', don't open a veeeeeein!"
Maybe it was a bit tasteless. But, Aby never considered herself a girl with the luxury of keeping her hands clean. Every now and again even going as far as to drag someone's ass to the mental hospital because she caught them in a situation, she couldn't stand the sight of. All the things she had seen. All the things she had done; specifically, bad. But that- was one thing she couldn't bear. It both sadden her and infuriated her. Especially before her accident. If there was doubt about her childish appearance fitting her personality, it vanquished the moment she was put in a situation where she had to deal with it. Humans were God's creations, but they had been her people. That's why she would throw a fit every time she couldn't make it in time to stop it. Whether it was due to some part of her programming or just being jealous of not being able to consider- much less do- such a thing herself since it was against God's design for her species, she had no clue. Species. That's right.
That's what, at the nitty gritty of it all, an angel was. Just another species. Humans think some ting-a-ling-ing bell is going to grant their soul wings and they just bippitty bop the fuck up in rank of the design, becoming angels. No, no, no, no, no. You don't become an angel. You don't will yourself into a lifestyle made for a specific breed. You either are or you aren't. Which is why Aby could relate to Charlie's decline in self-confidence. Her questions in her identity and purpose. The meaning behind the relationships in her life. Or lack thereof. There were so many times, Aby looked up at her brother with that gleam in her eyes. She measured her wings against Luci's, to which he would always call her weird and ask what she thought she was doing. She told him it was part of a game. But that was only partly true. It was a game, but it was also a test.
She wanted to know if she could be an angel worth her salt. One of the very best. The chosen few. The pillars of all that represented what dad stood for. An Arch. Or if she could, she wanted to be what Luci was. A rank above the Arch's. So rare, it didn't have a name. No one believed it would ever need one since Luci for the first and last of a kind. Who she repaid by getting him labeled with the tittles of 'God's traitor' and 'The Fallen One'. That was a lie. The worst kind of lie. Luci hadn't failed their father. Luci hadn't betrayed his wishes. Aby did. Or rather…Labyrinth "The Guardian Maze" had.
"Just freeze your braaain. Freeze your braaain. Go on and freeze your braaain."
Aby pulled away from the railing with a lingering arm coming up from behind as she made her way inside. She would talk to Blitz-o in the morning. Expecting to wake up to him perched on her chest as he watched her sleep. She would wake up and today would seem like a bad dream. She would gain her strength back and face Angel when he was ready to deal with her insistent bullshit. Then they would joke about crude things. She would help Charlie with the advertising, singing a song with her as she pinned a pattern to some fabric for a surprise she had been working on for the niece. She would dress up lovely and go out with Alastor and let him whisper sweet nothings in her ear and hold him close if he allowed it. She would read smut NSFW dounjinshi with Niffty, play cards with Husk, have starring contests with the short tempered Vaggie and would smile pretty and bright. She would dismiss her troubles with a flick of the wrist. She would hold her head up high. Stand straight as a queen. And smile. She would show some other emotion if she had to. But at the end of the day, she would smile. Only Smile.