She was going to show him. Azrael was going to show Optimus Prime her every scar. He deserved to know about them when she hid them from him before. And she didn't deserve to feel ashamed of them when she was not the one who inflicted them. Azrael Echolyn was tired of being afraid when there was nothing to be afraid of. Her hair was dry now, wavy from not being brushed out as Azrael let it air-dry in the bathroom. She'd put her clothes back on, having nothing else to wear. She could sense that Optimus was waiting in the main room for her to come out. She sucked in a long, deep breath. He wasn't going to push her away because of this. Optimus knew of the wreckage that came with Azrael and he was still insistent on knowing the full extent. Azrael was ready to give that to him.
Azrael stood up from her sat down position on the side of the tub. She glanced at herself one last time in the mirror, reassured by her own blue eyes that everything was going to be alright. She opened the door and walked out onto the fuzzy carpet. Her stomach was turning with nervousness as she turned to find her lover sat on the side of the bed. Optimus lit up when he saw her. He began to stand up as she walked over, but Azrael quickly pushed him back down. She let out a shaky breath.
"You told me to come to you when I was ready," Azrael murmured weakly.
She took a step back from him. She tried to hold his confused gaze but quickly broke away. She couldn't bear to look him in the eye for this. She grabbed the hem of her hoodie and tugged it over her head. Hoodie clasped in her hand, Azrael kept her eyes trained on the floor. She heard the bed creak. She looked up, ready to cry out for Optimus not to leave only to find him coming closer and closer until she was pressed against the wall with him right there in front of her. The azure orbs that stared down at her broke from her eyes and trailed down to her chest. Azrael wanted to cover herself - she knew which scar he was looking at. The last scar she'd received from her father, the one that was placed right over her heart. It was a thick, dark, ugly scar that extended from the center of her chest over to the beginning swell of her breast. She flinched when she felt his fingers graze over the jagged skin. She kept her eyes clamped shut, awaiting the slap or shout or out-right rejection.
Azrael's eyes opened out of surprise when she felt something soft press against her chest. Optimus stood back up to his full height, pressing a kiss to Azrael's cheek, then forehead. He pressed his forehead to hers with his large hand cupping her cheek.
"Your scars do nothing to push me away," he whispered softly.
He picked up her arm. Azrael watched as he took his hand away from her cheek and dragged down her arm. She shivered as soft tingles followed after his finger in a raging race. They both watched as the black gel rose to the surface of her skin. It was no surprise when the dozens of scars inflicted on her flesh came to the surface. Perhaps Autonoxiatry could heal and hide, but it could never take away all the damage done. Optimus lifted her arm up and pressed a kiss onto every jagged scar. Azrael watched curiously as the Cybertronian bent down. His arms wrapped around her waist. Azrael yelped as he suddenly picked her up. She squealed as the sensation of falling enveloped her until she hit the soft bed. When had he turned her around? Azrael didn't have much time to wonder, cut off by the gentle lips of her lover pressing against her own. She let out a sigh of relief. He didn't care. He still loved her. He still wanted her.
Azrael curled her fingers into his dark hair. She was still so mesmerized by his dark blue locks. Oh, she wanted more. She wanted so much more. She felt heat blossoming in the pit of her stomach as a rumbling moan escaped Optimus. She felt the powerful vibrations against her lips, wracking the entirety of her mouth. She felt excitement all over, her fingertips tingling with newfound energy. She wanted every part of him - she wanted to have every part of him with her name written on it. Azrael was determined to do so. She wanted to do something that screamed to everyone that Optimus Prime was hers and hers alone. The first thing that came to mind was a ring. Azrael pulled away, gasping for air, but this thought didn't deter her. It drove her. Azrael Echolyn did something that had never once crossed her mind to do before. She placed her hands firmly against Optimus' shoulders before he could lean back in and she pushed. Her left arm stretched out more, causing the Cybertronian's haloform to roll over to the side.
She easily topped him, her legs spread as she sat down on his waist. The shocked blue eyes that gazed up at her was nothing less than what she was expecting. Azrael leaned down, connecting her lips with the Prime's desperately, her hand tunneling through his hair. His large hands clasped down on her waist roughly. The soft, plump lips that captured his were so easy to get lost in. Delicate hands roamed over his chiseled frame - even if it wasn't really his. The feeling of fabric was so real under her hands, she was shocked it wasn't real. He felt solid - she knew he was there. The more she thought about him and that ring - a smooth steel ring with a single blue sapphire placed within - the more she began to like it. It felt right to do and it felt right to do it with him. She was meant for him. Would that mean that he was made for her in return?
Optimus attempted to push Azrael back over to gain some ground. He was met with a rather heart-racing surprise when she forced his arms down. His femme pulled away - just out of reach for him to kiss her again. He wanted it more than anything; to kiss her. Desperately, oh so desperately he wanted to kiss her.
"You always take care of me," she whispered. Her voice was so soft, velvet rolling off her tongue. "Isn't it my turn to take care of you?"
For the rest of our lives?
Drawing was never something Azrael prided herself on but damn if she wasn't at least good. She sat quietly in the seat next to the driver's seat. It was mid-afternoon and the roads were mainly empty. Despite Optimus' protests, Azrael had insisted that he deactivate his haloform to save his energy as well as Energon. Now, she was holding a small notebook she'd packed unintentionally and drawn out the ring design that had been bugging her since earlier that morning. She was still giddy with energy. Tired, granted, but giddy. Azrael had been so pleased with herself and the way she had been able to take care of her lover. It was so natural to her - to know his every need and meet it. It began to take away the doubt that she'd had at first, worrying if being a human would hinder Optimus' side of the relationship. All their relationship seemed to do was grow stronger with each passing day. Azrael felt a sudden buzzing against her right ear as if someone were trying to whisper to her.
"Who comlinked?" she asked instinctively. It seemed to be the most logical assumption. Optimus had fallen quiet not too much earlier, but the silence had shifted since.
"It is Major Lennox. Would you like me to patch him through?" Optimus offered.
Azrael replied with a short nod. She shut the notebook and set it on the armrest. She leaned forward toward the radio as Will's voice came through.
"Just checking in, Boss 'Bot. How's the trip going? Our Director doing good?"
"Still in one piece, Will," Azrael called playfully, "How's the base?"
"Somehow not blown up," Will said with obvious exaggeration. "Where are you guys thinking of heading?"
"Azrael mentioned venturing to Seattle. We should be crossing the Idaho border tonight," Optimus informed, "Is the team behaving? I have not been informed of any attacks."
"All's well over here. Ratchet threw a wrench at 'Bee and it hit this time. He fixed up the dent, though. Sam and Ironhide fixed up your office a little, Ace. Oh, and, uh... Ratchet tried to go through a few of the files about the investors. He said something about 'anonymous organism'?"
Azrael grinned as she recalled her brief conversation with Ratchet over the topic. He was still so desperate to get a name for that latest investor. She snickered quietly in her seat. She noted the rear-view mirror angling toward her as if Optimus was watching. He probably was. Azrael waved at the mirror, amused when it wiggled back in return.
"Do not let him find the file, Will. The investor he's looking for wishes to remain anonymous and I'll protect their identity at all costs. That includes damage to any equipment," she warned.
"I'll pass on the message," he laughed, "So it's all good on your end?"
"Yes," Optimus answered. He seemed at ease while speaking with the Major. That small detail made Azrael smiled all the wider.
"Hey, Will, before you go - how's Shara and Annabelle?"
The sigh that came from Will told Azrael it wasn't too good of an answer.
"They're doing okay. Annabelle misses me being home and Sarah... she's doing her best. Her sister's there to help out with anything that could go wrong,"
Azrael nodded along to his words, "That's good. Tell her I said 'hi' the next time you talk, alright?"
"Will do. Lennox, out,"
The comlink went dead. Azrael nodded to herself before she picked up her notebook and continued to sketch on the page she'd left off on. She was careful not to let Optimus peek from any angle it might have had. She knew he was curious about what she was doing - it was part of the 'Bot's nature. However, he would not be getting an answer from Azrael. Not when she wasn't even sure what it was supposed to mean.
"No," she said with a small smile pulling at her lips.
"I haven't asked," the Prime returned with amusement.
"And you don't have to. I happen to know you very well, Orion,"
The Cybertronian fell silent again. It was usual for him to suddenly fall into silence when there was more to say. Azrael bit her lip nervously. She knew the question she wanted to ask but would she be alright to ask it? Her confidence was fading and it was fading fast.
"Did I do something earlier?" she asked softly, "Was... did I do something wrong?"
"No, Azrael. You did nothing wrong. I have simply been... lost in thought," Optimus assured.
Relief flooded her as she leaned forward curiously. "What's on your mind - err… processor?"
"It is nothing to be concerned about," he dismissed her inquiry, "I was wondering if there were any other places you were thinking of visiting?"
"I see what your doing," Azrael teased. She grinned, leaning forward until she pressed her lips against the radio. "But I'll let it go for your sake. As for any other places to visit... I don't really know. Most of this trip has been about me. What about you, Optimus? What do you want to do? Surely there's somewhere you want to go."
"There is a place I have not been to for quite some time. I never felt comfortable leaving the base while you were there," Optimus admitted.
Azrael tilted her head, "You know your soldiers would keep me safe."
"I do not lack confidence in my team. I lack the confidence to leave you for too long,"
"Optimus, I've spent my whole life like that before I met you. It wouldn't do any harm if you left for a while if you wanted to," she smiled patiently, "Besides, 'Hide wouldn't let a thing happen to 'Mrs. Prime'."
"My spark will not allow it, Azrael," Optimus stated firmly.
His haloform fizzled into existence in front of Azrael. She looked up at him with worry. Why was he suddenly feeling distressed? He placed his hands on the armrests of Azrael's seat. His eyes were darker than she recalled them being. She shut her notebook for the second time, looking up at the Cybertronian. He let out a soft breath that blew over his face. she couldn't help but pick up the small note of metal that came with it.
"I cannot say if you would feel the same kind of pain as I, but when I leave your side, all I can understand is the desperate need to see you again. There is endless pain in my spark when it comes to even the thought of having you out of my sights," the confession spilled from his lips in a heavy rush.
He was desperate to convey his point. Azrael lifted her hand up, brushing her knuckles against his cheek.
"Optimus, why didn't you tell me?" she closed her eyes as guilt seeped into the pit of her stomach. "I would have... I don't know, but I would've done something, damn it! I can't stand the thought of you... there's nothing Ratchet can do? Nothing anyone can do?"
"No, beloved, there isn't,"
"Not even me?"
Optimus shook his head slowly, "There is nothing I know of."
"Damn..."
Things seemed to calm after the call from Will. It had grown late and, after several hours of valiantly fighting off sleep, Azrael finally fell victim to its claws. Optimus felt relief as Azrael entered REM sleep. She wouldn't wake should he make contact with the base. The Prime, while usually able to keep a calm persona, was beginning to grow skittish. He'd been struck with a thought that terrified him to the point of practically shaking. His tanks felt unsettled and his spark gave several jolts when he even considered it. Optimus had made it his personal mission to learn about many different cultures - especially human cultures now that Earth had become his home. Of course, he'd known about the event beforehand, but he'd never once imagined himself thinking about going through it with a human or at all, for that matter. His tanks rumbled with nervous energy. His spark felt unstable. It was uncomfortable. Almost like he wasn't comfortable in his own frame any longer. The Prime wished he were smaller - human, even, if that would have made the thought more barrable.
It was a human custom, marriage, in which two sentient beings agreed to be bound through the law as partners for life. Optimus Prime had never once considered this to be a possibility for him. However, upon finding, interacting, and falling in love with Azrael, he couldn't imagine life without her. The idea of the human femme carrying his name as a claim to being his love for life was an idea that he couldn't shake. It was burned into his processor by now, etched into every thought he had of Azrael. But what unsettled him, what unnerved him, was what she would answer with. He would have to propose, and she could easily shoot him down. She could say no and turn away from him. She could break everything he had just by that one little word: no. And yet, the human custom was one he wouldn't - couldn't - let go of. That is exactly what led Optimus Prime to do this very thing. He called Ratchet.
.:Optimus to Ratchet:.
.:Read you loud and clear:.
.:I require some advice, old friend:.
.:And would this happen to be related to Director Echolyn?:.
.:Yes, Ratchet, it does. I have been... troubled recently with the thought of proceeding in a human custom with Azrael:.
.:What would that be, Optimus?:.
.:I want to ask for Azrael's hand in marriage:.
~Yeah, I know - this one was pretty short. Sorry about that! Anyways, this is just the usual. If you have any questions or just want to tell me what you think of the story thus far, you're more than welcome to leave a review! I for one am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED to keep writing. And do keep in mind that there are several time gaps in which I have not written where Optimus and Azrael have grown closer!
The Doc is out~