I do not own hetalia
This is kind of long, have fun! As always reviews are appretiated.
The days continued, not much really happening. Berwald continued to find different outlets for his libido, porn being a regular thing he watched at night to sate him a bit. Tino was also using porn, or the girl he met at the bar. He had considered dating her, she was really nice, after some talking they agreed to just leaving things as is. The girl wasn't into dating, Tino had a very conflicting schedule. They mostly had sex at the girl's- Whose name was Charlie- apartment. Tino didn't want to get awkward with Berwald A few times they did go to his house, Charlie spending the night and leaving the next morning.
A month into everything and Tino woke up with Charlie early, going to make breakfast while she showered. He was in the middle of cooking some omelets when the front door opened, Berwald coming inside in some workout clothes. Tino usually wasn't awake at his time, but he did know that Berwald went on morning jogs. Berwald looked a little breathless, removing his wireless ear buds. He gave Tino a curious look, mumbling a good morning as he went to get some water.
"Wha's with th' look?" Berwald asked Tino, who was only wearing some gym shorts.
"Oh! I uh...I had a guest over" Tino said, cheeks reddening, "I've mentioned Charlie right?"
"Mm" Berwald gave a nod, glad his face didn't show his discomfort or annoyance. He had yet to meet her, but he was envious she could be with Tino the way he yearned for. Berwald drank his water quickly and made his way to his room, Charlie appearing dressed just as he got to the living room.
"Oh!" Charlie looked at Berwald curiously, "Hi." Berwald gave her a nod, Tino coming over with breakfast.
"Charlie, Berwald" Tino introduced, "He's kind of shy, want to eat in the living room?"
Charlie nodded, Tino handing Berwald a plate. Berwald took it, wishing he could just go to his room. But leaving would be rude now, and with a quiet sigh he followed them to the couch. He sat on the loveseat, trying to eat quickly. Tino chatted enough for both of them, Charlie understanding that Berwald wouldn't talk around her. Once Berwald was done he signed thank you to Tino, leaving his plate in the sink and going straight to his room.
"How long have you two known each other?" Charlie asked.
"Since we were kids," Tino said, "his dad actually owns this place, we pay rent"
"He's a looker," Charlie hummed, "are you interested in him?"
"What?" Tino asked.
"I'm not saying it in a mean way," Charlie smiled, "if I shared a house with him, I would have slept with him in a heartbeat, if he was interested."
"I don't think he'd be interested," Tino snorted, "he doesn't show much interest in that."
"Usually the quiet ones are the horniest," Charlie grinned, kissing Tino, "are you working today?"
"Yeah, later tonight," Tino breathed, sharing a few more kisses with Charlie before she left.
"I'll text you," Charlie said, kissing Tino one last time before going to her car. Tino smiled and went to nap a bit more.
"See, this is why I told you to man up," Mathias said.
It had been a few weeks since Berwald and Charlie met, and she was coming around the house more frequently. Berwald sent his friend a tired look, punching the large hanging punching bag Mathias was holding still. He paused, and sighed.
"What does it matter? Tino's never been interested in me," Berwald signed, since they were in a public gym. Mathias and him usually came to the gym once a week to keep in shape, usually on Mondays before work since they were slow.
"He fucks you when he's drunk, he has to subconsciously feel something," Mathias argued, holding the bag as Berwald went back to punching. Mathias watched him, feeling the force the man was punching with.
"I still don't get it man, why won't you try?" he asked after a bit, Berwald stopping to cool off. Berwald didn't answer for a bit, focusing on his breathing.
"I don't want to mess anything up," Berwald signed, Mathias seeing the sadness under Berwald's stoic features, "what if I try, and it makes things awkward? You two are the only good friends I have, and not a lot of people know ASL or are fine with notes to make new friends"
"So you'd rather pine in the background and watch him with other people?" Mathias asked, "Don't you deserve the same happiness?"
Berwald didn't give an answer, grabbing the bag and motioning for Mathias to punch. Mathias shook his head, punching the bag a few times.
"I think your logic is bad," Mathias grunted, punching with quick, light hits, "you deserve it as much as everyone. If you can't have him then find someone else, someone that won't hurt you." he stopped to cool off, Berwald waiting.
"You know my history with dates," Berwald signed, "I'm not tempted to try again"
"Those dicks just don't have the patience and open mind to understand you," Mathias shot back, punching the bag hard, "they start off all happy and understanding, but get pissed if they aren't the one to magically cure you." he gave a few more rough punches, "You just need to find...I don't know man, a nice guy." one more punch and he went to cool off.
"I'm fine being alone," Berwald signed, Mathias glaring his way.
"Fuck off." he grunted, checking his watch, "Let's go shower, we're going to be late."
Berwald knew they wouldn't but knew Mathias wanted to go cool his head. Mathias had a very short temper, the weekly gym visits were actually to help him control it. Berwald knew these kinds of talks tickled the man the wrong way. They drove to Mathias' house and took separate showers, Berwald having a change of clothes in his backpack.
"I really want you to think about it Bear," Mathias said as they drove to work, Berwald, nodding. "I mean it, if his drunk ass wants a fuck buddy, you have to tell him no. He shouldn't use you and then never remember. You've covered it up for too long."
Berwald sighed and gave another nod, knowing Mathias was right. But it just felt like this one secret was what held his life together; his small joy living with Tino.
As days continued Berwald did honestly think about what to do. Things with Charlie were steady on Tino's end, the girl getting more and more comfortable staying longer in their house. By this point Berwald was sure Tino and her were finally dating, though neither announced it or called each other pet names. Berwald had handled these situations before, and he handled them fine. He kept a comfortable distance, spent enough time with the partner to be considered friendly or at least cordial since it was his home. Charlie was a nice girl, she really was, and she was understanding that Berwald didn't want to speak with her. Tino did tease him when they were alone that he should try to talk to her, but Berwald would only shrug. It took him a good year and a half to feel comfortable talking with Elizaveta, Charlie was not going to be any different.
Charlie had yet to meet Mathias, but Berwald was sure that would happen eventually.
It actually happened in June, Berwald awkwardly watching a movie with the couple. It was some murder mystery thing, Berwald not really interested. But Tino had invited him to join, and he couldn't say no. Charlie didn't seem to mind, snuggling against Tino. They were around what Berwald hoped was the middle of the movie when the doorbell rang, Berwald quickly getting up to answer. Anything to get away from that damn movie and the couple. Mathias grinned at him once the door opened, a backpack in hand.
"Berwald my man!" he said loudly, looking confused when he actually saw rEllieef in Berwald's face, "What's going on?"
"Mathias?" Tino asked, having gotten curious and gone over to see who it was.
"Tino my man!" Mathias greeted, seeing Berwald tense, "You off tonight?"
"Yeah, we were watching a movie" Tino smiled, Mathias being allowed inside the home and giving the man a hug.
"What movie?" Mathias asked, giving Berwald looks demanding what was wrong.
"It's this nice movie about a murder, A Kind of Murder?"
"You and Berwald are watching that?" Mathias asked, Berwald hated those kinds of movies.
"Well Charlie and I were going to, then we invited Berwald," Tino explained, all three going to the living room.
Charlie was waiting patiently, Tino introducing her to Mathias, who greeted her with a forced smile once he understood. Mathias watched Berwald make his way to the love seat, looking so goddamn miserable it's a miracle the couple hadn't caught on. Then again Tino was shit at reading the atmosphere, especially when he was dating someone. Mathias did some small talk with Charlie, sitting next to Berwald, who glanced at Tino and Charlie as they continued the movie and snuggled. Mathias watched as well, jaw clenched. Mathias watched a total of ten minutes of the movie, which wasn't bad, but definitely not something Berwald would watch willingly. Berwald was staring at his phone longingly, Mathias knowing he was trying really hard to be polite.
"Ah shit, I forgot something in my place," Mathias said, standing like it had just crossed his mind. Tino and Charlie jumped at that, Berwald just looking curious.
"What did you forget?" Tino asked.
"Something super duper important," Mathias said dismissively, "I took a goddamn Uber here and forgot this very important thing. Bear can you drive me back?"
Berwald was quick to nod, anything to get away from this. Tino gave them confused looks, Mathias chatting with Charlie before rushing off.
"Did you really forget something?" Berwald signed as they headed to his car, Mathias sighing.
"Yes and no" Mathias said, "I just wanted to get out of there before I said some mean shit" he got into the passenger seat, Berwald starting the car, "let's just drive to Walmart, kill some time"
Berwald gave a nod, driving the nearest Walmart. Mathias and him walked around for what felt like hours, Berwald watching Mathias buy food ingredients.
"You guys have eggs at your place right?" Mathias asked, Berwald nodding, "Perfect."
"What are you planning?" Berwald signed, trying to figure out his friend's plan.
"I was already planning this, but now I'm more pumped," Mathias said, Berwald seeing the anger stewing in the man's eyes, "it's an awesome plan, don't worry about it" Berwald was still worried.
"You're mad at Tino," Berwald deduced, Mathias getting a large bag of flour.
"Mad? No." Mathias chuckled darkly, "I was mad when Tino broke my very special action figure when we were kids. I was plenty mad when Tino found out I smoked pot and then made me go cold turkey for my sake," his voice got hard, "oh no my friend, I am livid"
"He didn't do anything," Berwald argued.
"Trust me, he's done enough," Mathias snapped, throwing some more things in the cart, "now shut up and just walk."
Berwald obeyed only because he didn't want to get cops involved if Mathias threw punches. He simply watched as items were added to the cart, then helped Mathias bag said items at check out. They put everything in his car and drove home, Mathias somehow wasting three hours in there. When they got home Tino and Charlie were gone from the living room, Mathias and Berwald putting things away. Both could hear very faint thumps and moans, Mathias grumbling under his breath before wishing Berwald goodnight and heading to the guest room. Berwald finished putting things away, taking some sleep medicine and going to bed, Hana sharing his bed that night.
The next day Berwald woke up and got himself to take a small shower, still a bit groggy from the medicine. Hana followed him happily, making sure he wouldn't drown. Berwald got dressed in his jogging attire, smelling food being cooked. He wondered if Tino had made breakfast, leaving his room with Hana. Hana was quick to go get water and kibble breakfast, Berwald a bit surprised to find Mathias in the kitchen instead.
"Morning," Mathias sang, "going off for a jog?" Berwald gave a nod, finding his wireless ear buds.
"Ya seem better," he commented.
"Oh yeah, I'm excited." Mathias smiled, "Take all the time you need to do your run man, breakfast will be a bit."
Berwald nodded, leashing Hana and leaving. He didn't really feel like doing a long run, and the small dog was good at keeping up. He listened to music while he jogged, pausing to walk when Hana gave a whine. She sniffed grass quickly, peeing and pooping. Berwald got a poop bag attached to her leash and picked it up, throwing it away in a nearby trash bin. They did a good hour trip, Hana plenty tired once they got home. When Berwald came in, Mathias was still cooking, Berwald getting some water and cooling off. Mathias ordered him to relax in the living room; Berwald watched a home improvement show. Some time later Tino and Charlie were up, both greeting Berwald, who gave a nod back. They went to see what Mathias was doing, the man quick to kick them out.
In the end they sat with Berwald, who gave Charlie the remote and steeled himself to watch one of her favorite shows, Gossip Girl. Tino was getting hooked on it, but Berwald hadn't found something to get him to watch a murder mystery series. He honestly couldn't explain why he hated that genre, it just bored the hell out of him. He was fine with crime, and horror, but why spend so much time alluding to an answer and sometimes not getting one?
He was considering just waiting for breakfast in his room when Mathias appeared with breakfast, using his waiter experience to bring four plates at once. The man had made crepes, with what looked like homemade whipped cream. He made three variations, one with chocolate and bananas, the other had strawberries and blueberries, and the third looked to be a peanut butter and jelly variation.
"Where did you learn to make these?" Charlie asked, taking a bite, "Holy shit, this is good."
"My parents run a bakery," Mathias said, "I kind of learned some tricks growing up."
"He makes killer muffins," Tino said, eating happily.
"Enjoy," Mathias grinned, "and don't worry Bear, there's extra since I know how much you love crepes." Berwald tensed, Tino glancing at him curiously.
"You do?" he asked, the big man shrugging. Berwald sent Mathias a questioning look, Mathias simply eating happily.
"I liked eating them when we were kids" Berwald signed, "I don't have them often though." Tino translated for Charlie, who smiled.
"That's cute," she commented, everyone eating. Berwald did indeed get himself seconds, Mathias chatting happily with Tino and Charlie. When he came back he found the television back on the home improvement show, Mathias having taken the remote. He was in the middle of joking that Berwald had gotten him hooked on these shows.
"This man just lovesthis shit, I swear sometimes I think he wanted to build houses for a living." Berwald sat next to Mathias, not liking the attention when Tino and Charlie teased him lightly.
Berwald watched the show while the others talked, narrowing his eyes at Mathias. He was listening on and off to the conversations, which Mathias seemed to always divert sneakily as a way to mention things Berwald "loved" or "fucking hated" or things the man found interesting. Charlie was happy to talk with Mathias, Tino smiling but sometimes looking confused. Certain things Mathias commented Tino didn't know, and he had known Berwald just as long. After some time Tino went to get ready for work, getting a call.
"What's up Ellie?" Tino asked as he answered.
"Hey Tino, need a big favor from you" Elizaveta said, "I need to do a big schedule shift, like an emergency kind man. Susie was just informed that her dad planned some trip or something without checking her availability. She needs Friday off"
"Okay…?" Tino said, "so she needs to switch a day? I'm off Friday."
"She is willing to work tonight, if you work Friday," Elizaveta confirmed.
"I mean, yeah sure," Tino said, "I don't have any big plans Friday" Tino was planning on just relaxing, Charlie was going to be out of town that weekend.
"You are a lifesaver!" Elizaveta cheered, "I'll finish adjusting things, thanks Tino!" Tino hung up, coming back.
"Guess I'm off today," Tino shrugged, "they needed me to switch today and Friday with a co- worker"
"They're doing minor renovations at the club, we're off too." Mathias smiled.
Berwald gave a nod, trying to think of a way to get Mathias alone to ask him what he was planning. Charlie stayed a bit longer before kissing Tino goodbye, Tino going to clean the kitchen.
"Th' fuck you plannin'?" Berwald demanded once Tino was out of ear shot, Mathias rubbing his full stomach.
"Me?" Mathias asked, feigning innocence.
"Cut th' crap." Berwald frowned, Mathias' frowning.
"I'm just enjoying the day off," Mathias said, "and it's been forever since it's just the three of us relaxing, with our schedules," Mathias grinned, "I just thought it'd be good to think of the old days."
Berwald didn't like that answer, going to take another shower and getting into comfortable clothes. He watched Mathias intently, who was keeping with his weird plan. Every other little thing Mathias would direct to something Berwald liked or disliked, Tino either agreeing or looking confused. They headed out to an outlet mall once Mathias grew bored being in the house, doing the same. Berwald finally figured out what Mathias was planning while they were browsing an arts and craft store, Tino wanting to get some sketchbooks. He was a really good artist, but rarely showed. Berwald was just lazily examining a wooden chest when Mathias began.
"You know, I think I should try an art hobby," he said, Tino looking curious.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah, I mean, you with your cool art, it gets me inspired," Mathias smiled, "maybe I should try woodwork." Berwald tensed, eyes wide as he turned to Mathias. Mathias was staring straight at him.
"Why woodwork?" Tino asked.
"I mean, it has to be something manly" Mathias joked, "plus Berwald was amazingat it back in the day, he can be my teacher."
Tino looked surprised by that, looking at Berwald Berwald tried to keep his face blank, but he knew they both saw his anger. He shot Mathias a dangerous look before leaving, needing to cool off.
"Let him cool off," Mathias told Tino, who made to stop Berwald
"Why did he get so mad?" Tino asked, feeling like he was missing something.
"I wouldn't worry about it, I just messed up," Mathias chuckled, leading Tino along the shop.
"I didn't know Berwald was into wood work," Tino said after a bit.
"He never really bragged," Mathias shrugged, "but he was great. You know that clock my mom has in her store?" Tino nodded, it was extremely detailed.
It was a cuckoo clock, but instead of a bird a little chubby chef came out with a tray of cookies. The time hands also had little baked goods on the pointers, and it was designed exactly like the shop.
"Berwald made it," Mathias continued.
"He made that? By hand?" Tino gasped, Mathias nodding.
"Yeah, too bad he stopped," Mathias sighed
'Why'd he stop?"Tino asked, passing by some paints.
"Well…" Mathias looked around them, "it's kind of a secret" Tino stared, "I mean, it's only fair you knew, but you can't tell him I told you."
"Promise," Tino swore, wanting to know more.
So far he had learned so much about Berwald, he wasn't even sure if he really did know his friend. Mathias looked around to make sure no one else was around to hear, leaning close to Tino.
"Big man sacrificed a lot after high school, says he wanted to be sure you'd be okay," Mathias said, Tino furrowing his brows.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Tino asked.
"Well, you were going to nursing school, he knew you wouldn't be getting much money while interning, he didn't want you getting too stressed and quitting." Mathias shrugged, "So he canceled his enrollment in some college a state away and got his bartender license, worked two jobs to pay bills while you finished school." Mathias huffed, "I kept telling him that I'd be more than happy to help too, but you know I was in a rough spot" Mathias gave Tino's shoulder a squeeze, "now keep it between us yeah?"
Tino could only nod, his mind reeling. Did Berwald really give up his dreams? Just to make sure Tino finished his? Why?
Tino went to pay for his things, walking with Mathias to find Berwald They looked in the shops, in the end finding Berwald in a lounge area the outlet had. He was sitting on a bench with his head down, jerking up when Mathias called his name. Berwald seemed calm enough, but he shot Mathias a glare.
They decided to head home, everyone silent. Tino glanced at Berwald from time to time, worry eating at him. He wanted to know more, what else had he not noticed about his friend? What else had he stopped him from having, or accomplishing? Once at home Mathias actually went easy on his weird Berwald trivia, Berwald feeling an intense need to kill the man. But he wouldn't fight, Mathias was trying to get something out of him.
Mathias was trying to get Tino to learn things Berwald did not want Tino to know. Why should Tino want to know that he liked crepes? Or how he never liked olives in pizza? Why the hell should Tino know about his old hobbies? Berwald could only stew and watch Tino look confused and send him hesitant, questioning looks.
Tino wasn't doing any better, every new trivia made him feel like a shitty friend. He loved olives on pizza, and would always order it. Berwald would still eat it, but that's because he never liked wasting food. And why was that? Was there a reason? For dinner they instead had Chinese, Tino hesitantly asking Mathias to make sure the order was okay with everyone. Berwald was silently fuming, even Hana keeping her distance from him. They ate in partial silence, Tino finishing his half eaten food and going to put on Gossip Girl.
"Don't put that crap on," Mathias frowned, Tino hesitant again. Did Berwald hate it?
"Enough" Berwald snarled, slamming his food down on the table. Tino shivered at the absolute rage in his friends' voice. Mathias ate his last forkful of fried rice, putting the container down and giving Berwald a leveled look.
"Finally want to talk?" he asked calmly, Tino looking between them fearfully.
"Ya have no. Fucking. Right," Berwald snapped, fists clenched.
"I'm not doing anything," Mathias shot back, "I'm just reminiscing-"
"Invading my privacy," Berwald corrected, "harrassin' Tino-"
"Because you won't share-"
"I like how it is!" Berwald yelled, Tino jumping when the man stood, "forcing-this-"
"Fuck that!" Mathias yelled back, standing as well, "Fuck that goddamn answer!"
"Leave," Berwald said, "now Mathias."
"No."
"Now," Berwald repeated.
"No," Mathias repeated, knowing he was pushing it. But he needed his friends to understand, something had to be done. Berwald glared at him, Mathias letting out a sigh.
"This isn't fair, I know it isn't," Mathias said, "but for fuck's sake man, everything you've put up with-"
"I'm fine," Berwald gritted out.
"Yeah? When were you going to mention you hate Gossip Girl and that genre in general? After the seventh season?" Mathias demanded, "how many more olive pizzas are you going to force yourself to eat? How many more things are you going to abandon just to make him happy?" Mathias jabbed a finger at Tino, who felt close to tears, "He's not a fucking child Berwald Hiding things-"
"I'm," Berwald snapped, "fine."
"Your feelings-" Mathias started, Berwald having enough. He threw a punch at Mathias, who just barely dodged it. He took a few steps back, cautious now.
"Get out," Berwald snarled, "now."
"Bear-"
"Mathias," Tino interrupted, Berwald twitching at his voice. He turned to Tino, Tino realizing that the man was so mad he had forgotten he was even there. The sudden realization almost instantly destroyed the anger, Tino wiping his eyes. Mathias stared at Tino, waiting.
"Let me take you home, okay?" Tino said gently, "Bear…Bear needs some time alone, yeah?" he glanced at Berwald, who kept his head down. Mathias looked between them, sighing but nodding.
"Yeah," he grunted, "yeah, he does, sorry." He went to grab the few things he brought the day before. Tino grabbed his keys, Berwald sitting on the couch.
"Will, will you be okay for a bit?" Tino asked, Berwald giving a nod, "Will you be here when I get back?" again Berwald nodded, Mathias appearing. The man looked at Tino, scratching his head.
"I'm sorry man, both of you," he said, Berwald giving a curt nod, "I didn't plan this, I was just really pissed."
"Why did you come then?" Tino asked, Mathias sending him a tired look.
"You must not be keeping an eye on the calendar," Mathias teased gently, "it's fine though, I forget sometimes too before the last minute." He opened his backpack and pulled out a rectangular box wrapped in some dark blue gift wrapping. He placed it on the coffee table.
"Happy birthday man," Mathias said, Berwald snorting.
"I don' cel'brate it," he said, "thank ya" Mathias gave a nod, clapping Tino on the back and wrapping him up in a hug. The man had started crying, feeling far worse now.
How could he have forgotten?!
Mathias led Tino out and to the car, driving the car. He did have a license, he just never saved up enough money to get a car. They drove in silence, Tino crying and trying to calm down. He managed to calm down to sniffles by the time they reached Mathias' apartment, getting out to take over driving.
"Promise you two will be okay?" Mathias asked, Tino nodding.
"I feel like such a shitty friend," Tino said, wiping at his eyes.
"You're not a shitty friend," Mathias said sternly, "we just have a friend who hides things, I just know because I'm nosy as fuck." Tino laughed at that, Mathias grinning, "But really, you have to push to know him, don't let him block you out again, 'kay?"
"Got it." Tino smiled, hugging Mathias one more time before going home. He honestly expected Berwald gone, but was relieved when he found the man still sitting on the couch. All the food was put up, so he must have gotten up to do that and settled back.
"I'm back," Tino said, Berwald grunting to show he heard. Tino sat himself next to Berwald, glancing at him carefully. Berwald looked mentally and emotionally drained, Tino watching him put Gossip Girl on.
"You don't like this show, right?" Tino asked.
"Mm," Berwald said, Tino knowing that mean yeah.
"Let's change it," Tino said.
"Nah" Berwald said, "y' like it"
"We can find something we both like," Tino said, taking the remote. Berwald let him, looking through the selection. Tino asked every few shows, Berwald making small sounds to show if he was either interested or not. They ended up settling with Bob Ross, Tino choosing it since he knew Berwald needed something calming. Berwald liked watching the artist make amazing pieces.
"You haven't opened your present," Tino said after some time, looking over to make sure Berwald hadn't dozed off.
"Mm, I know wha' it is," Berwald said, eyes closed, "'e gets m' same thing e'ry year."
"What does he get you?" Tino asked. Berwald opened his eyes, grabbing the box and handing it to Tino.
"Open it," Berwald said.
"It's yours though," Tino argued.
"Please," Berwald said, Tino nodding. He ripped off the paper, finding a shoe box. Inside the shoe box were tools labeled for woodwork, along with a small block of wood, a book with some interesting illustrations, and a card. The card had a crude joke, inside Mathias adding a note.
Make me something cool, wood ya?
- Mathias
Tino snorted at the pun, Berwald managing a smile.
"Always makes a pun" he said. Tino smiled, putting the box on the coffee table. They watched a little more of Bob Ross, Tino making sure Berwald was still awake. The man was, though he wished he could sleep this terrible day away.
"We should probably talk about things," Tino said after a bit, Berwald glancing his way.
"If ya want," Berwald said.
"What would you prefer?"
"Nn, forget today," Berwald admitted.
"And if I say no?" Tino asked.
"'Kay," Berwald answered.
"Do you do and say things just to make me happy?" Tino asked, looking worried, "Did you...even want to be friends?"
Berwald looked his way, sighing and signing to Tino to give me a minute. Tino waited, knowing speaking his mind was hard for Berwald. Berwald scratched his head, taking a deep breath and turning to Tino.
"I didn't choose to be your friend," Berwald began signing, Tino watching carefully, "but that doesn't mean I never wanted to. You and Mathias are very dear to me, I never want to change that," he paused, "it's just...easier to agree to things. Refusing is tiring, and I don't want to hurt you."
"But eating olives even though you don't like it?" Tino asked.
"You look happy when you eat it, why would I deny you that?" Berwald asked.
"I can get half olives, half something else, Bear"
"That'll cost extra," Berwald signed.
"You are ridiculous" Tino laughed, "when did you turn into Elizaveta's husband?" Berwald laughed back, a low rumble.
"It's still cheaper to just eat olives," Berwald signed, Tino shaking his head.
"Well from now on we are doing half and half pizzas," Tino declared. Berwald gave a shrug, waiting to see if Tino had any more questions.
"So, I'm guessing you didn't like the movie last night, that's why Mathias rescued you," Tino said, "you can say no."
"Wouldn't be polite" Berwald countered.
"It would have been fine Bear," Tino sighed.
"Charlie would have asked why I don't want to, then that would be a debate."
"She could have also just said okay."
"Charlie doesn't just say okay, she's a debater, I can tell."
"Really? Do tell." Tino snorted.
"I've heard plenty of your conversations," Berwald said with his hands, "it's all mostly debates." Tino thought about it, seeing how it could be seen that way.
"A lot of girls are like that though, I've dated plenty of girls."
"I've dated one." Berwald shot back.
"For a week," Tino countered. Berwald shrugged, comfortable continuing this kind of interrogation.
When did you start wood carving?
Middle school, then it just became a hobby.
Did you make a lot of things?
I guess
Where are all of them?
I sold them during high school, needed money
Where?
Flea market mostly, bus rides there were weird.
Didn't you work part time at an auto shop in high school?
That was a lie, mom wouldn't let me get a job.
Tino accepted that answer and moved the question to something else.
What do you think of Charlie?
She's nice.
Do you not like her around?
I don't mind her.
Is there anything she does that you don't like?
She moans really loud.
Tino blushed,saying that they would keep it quieter or go to her place.
Is there anything I do that you don't like?
No.
There has to be something.
No.
I'm not perfect, there has to be something that really bothers you about me.
Berwald paused, thinking it over. Tino waited patiently.
"Everything you do is fine," Berwald signed, "the only thing I can think of…" his hands hovered, Tino knowing that Berwald was thinking again.
"You...when you're drunk…" Berwald tried, again stopping.
"Am I annoying when I'm drunk?" Tino asked, Berwald shaking his head. He seemed hesitant.
"Pass," Berwald grunted.
"What? No you can't pass," Tino frowned, "what do I do when I'm drunk?"
Berwald groaned, wishing he had never tried to admit this.
"You are….persistent," Berwald tried, fingers trembling a bit, "when you...want something, you don't take 'no' as an answer." that was vague enough right? Tino seemed confused, trying to understand.
"So...like if I want more drinks?"
"You whine for more," Berwald said, nodding.
"And if I want food?"
"Have to get it."
"If I want to dance or...do a stunt?"
"You don't, ever." Tino gave a nod, trying to remember when he would wake up the next day. He would always be naked.
"Do I strip in front of people?" Tino asked, wondering how many people have seen his dick.
"No, just once you get to your room." Berwald assured, knowing he was pushing being vague.
"So, you've seen my dick," Tino said, Berwald hesitating before nodding, "and do I...strip...you?"
Berwald didn't want to answer that, but he knew no matter what he had to. He swallowed before nodding, Tino nodding to himself. Another question bubbled into his head, but he was afraid to ask it honestly.
"Is...is that all...I do?" he whispered, Berwald looking away, "Oh...God…"
"Mm." Berwald coughed.
"Do...do I force myself on you? Jesus fuck-" Tino asked, panicking. Had he been raping his friend all this time?
"Tino."
"Why haven't you told me I've been...assaulting you?" Tino demanded, "Bear this is serious-" Berwald grabbed Tino by the shoulder. Tino tensed, looking at Berwald
"Ya don't." Berwald said, "I's not like tha'"
"How it is not?" Tino asked, watching Berwald struggle to answer, "Bear how is me forcing you-"
"You don't," Berwald repeated, "ya never force me."
"Even if you say yes, if you really didn't want-"
"I like it," Berwald interrupted, Tino going silent. Berwald felt himself break out in a frightened sweat, wanting to just stop this conversation. This is exactly what he was scared of happening, and the shocked look Tino had on was not helping at all.
"I...it doesn't…'appen often," Berwald mumbled, releasing Tino's shoulder. They sat in silence, Berwald's leg jumping in nerves.
"So, it's consensual," Tino said, his voice cracking a bit. Berwald nodded, staring down at his hands, he couldn't look at Tino.
"Are you sure?" Tino asked, another nod. Tino rested back on the couch, taking that in. Berwald cleared his throat, honestly feeling the closest to crying in all his life.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" Tino asked, gently touching Berwald's arm. The man flinched, but didn't move away.
"Maybe," Berwald mumbled, "did'n' know how…"
"I get that," Tino said, rubbing calming circles on Berwald's bicep. Berwald watched that action.
"Did'n' want t'...mess up," Berwald continued, Tino nodding.
"Understandable," he agreed.
Berwald waited for Tino to decide what to do, a bit distracted by Tino's hand. Even in this situation his libido was stirring, his lower brain kind of wishing that soft hand was rubbing something else. Tino smiled, dropping his hand. Berwald made a low sound, the closest thing to a whine.
"Come on, you look tired," Tino said, tuning the television off. Berwald gave a nod, standing and going to bed. They went to their separate rooms, Berwald tilting his head curiously when Tino knocked a few minutes later. He was in his sleep wear, bottoms and a shirt. Berwald had just slipped on his pajama bottoms.
"Can we have a sleepover?" Tino asked, Berwald shrugging. Tino hurried into Berwald's bed, the man following his lead. They both got comfortable, Berwald at first making space but Tino deciding cuddling was better. In the end Berwald was on his side, Tino facing him and snuggled close. Berwald started to doze off easily, purring as Tino gently trailed fingers along his chest. Tino waited until Berwald was snoring before drifting off himself, lulled by the man's steady heart beat.
The next day Tino woke up alone in bed, hearing the shower running. He buried himself under the covers, far too comfortable to get up. He listened to the shower, then to it being turned off. It felt like forever before he heard the door open, watching Berwald come out in his red hoodie and some sweatpants.
"Mornin'," Berwald said, Tino moaning softly as he stretched.
"It's too early," Tino whined, Berwald leaving him to get up on his own. Tino dozed until his alarm rang, getting up with a sigh. He left Berwald's room and went to shower and get ready. He didn't know if Berwald and him were okay, now knowing certain things. He was okay knowing that Berwald and his drunken self did consensual things, weirdly enough. And he knew he was definitely going to work on learning more about his friend. But how should they act around each other?
Tino pondered this as he got ready for work, thanking Berwald who made a quick lunch. He ate and browsed his phone, Berwald turning on the television and putting on some random show. Tino looked down at his phone when it buzzed, Charlie texting him. Tino answered, biting his lower lip.
"Bear?" Tino said, during commercials.
"Mm?"
"What...are we?" Tino asked, Berwald glancing his way, "I mean...we can't go back to normal, now that I know."
"We can" Berwald said, "yer datin' Charlie."
"I mean...not really," Tino shifted, "she's not planning on being around here long. She's just here for school, and is graduating soon." Berwald gave a nod of understanding, "we do like each other, but in a few months she's going back home to Virginia."
"Ya wouldn't move wi' her?" Berwald asked.
"No, I don't want to leave here," Tino admitted, "I mean, if I leave who's going to make sure you sleep? Or that Mathias doesn't destroy something?" Berwald smiled at that.
"I sleep fine," Berwald said, Tino shaking his head.
"That I know is a lie," Tino said, Berwald chuckling.
"We can be whatever ya want," Berwald said.
"What do you want us to be?" Tino asked, Berwald thinking it over.
"When Charlie leaves," Berwald said, "w' can decide then" Tino frowned, nodding. Tino left for work not long after, Berwald going to do chores.