Yeah yeah I know it's been a minute but I was having a hard time writing this one for some reason. Anyway yeah it's here now, gonna get real angsty, buckle up kids. Review, suggest whatever you feel like, it doesn't take that long and it makes a huge difference to me. Onward!

Jeff's phone buzzed with a phone call from Remi late that afternoon. He glanced at Nick, who was looking at him expectantly, Patch clutched under his arm. Jeff had been reading to him from an old, worn copy of Wuthering Heights Remi had brought them from home.

He smiled lightly, signing "phone call from your dad" before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jeff, just calling to check in on you guys,"

Jeff bit his lip, praying Nick couldn't read his lips. "We're good, we're okay, thanks. Um, a couple hours after you left they came to do a blood test, it went okay, he's been really jittery and anxious since then, you know how he gets. And maybe an hour ago he got back from physical therapy to help get him walking again with his knee and hip, he came back with a strong face, but as soon as they were gone he was a mess, just couldn't calm down enough to stop crying, you know. I've been reading to him so he'll sleep, but it's not working as well as I'd like."

"Yeah, that's hard. But I know you know him, I know you're doing a good job. Do you want me to come down tonight, hang out for a bit? Maybe stay the night so you can get some rest?"

He chewed his lip again. "Ah, probably not. I think he's going to fall asleep here soon and I'm hoping he'll sleep through the night. As for going home, I'd really rather not leave him in case he needs me in the middle of the night."

"You're sure? Okay. Thanks, Jeff, keep me updated. Love you guys, talk to you later,"

He slipped the phone back into his pocket, rubbed Nick's arm, and reached for the book to keep reading, but Nick grabbed his hand, looking worried. "What happened?"

Jeff almost didn't catch the sign, Nick's hands were still shaking and he'd signed lightening-fast.

He smiled lightly. "Just Remi asking how we were."

Nick frowned hard, fingers twisting into Jeff's shirt. "What'd you tell him?"

"Well, I told him about the blood test and how you've been a little anxious since then, and about how much you hate physical therapy." A little smile hinted at his lips. "He says he loves you and he'll see if he can come around tomorrow morning."

Nick looked like he was trying to smile, but he just looked sick. He nodded and leaned back, reaching for Jeff's throat, fingers pressed to his Adam's apple to feel the vibration of his voice as he spoke. Jeff took that as his signal to keep reading.

Opening the book again, he resumed his earlier position, leaned over in his chair so Nick could reach, Nick's other hand held the elbow Jeff had resting on the mattress.

Jeff ran his fingers through Nick's hair, avoiding the stitches and spots he knew there was blood, and started reading.

After a few minutes, Nick's eye was heavy-lidded and cloudy with exhaustion, the shakiness he felt down to his very bones stilled by Jeff's presence, his soft voice, the solidness of him under his hands.

Jeff paused to turn a page, clearing his throat quietly, and continued reading.

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."

He paused again, taking a moment to gaze down at the man in the bed beside him. He looked like he was almost asleep, his hair mussed, pale arm stretched against Jeff's throat, and Jeff felt his eyes well up in admiration. Everything he'd experienced, every option he had in life, and Nick had chosen him.

He wiped the moisture away, laughing softly at himself, and continued reading until the night nurse came in at seven.

She introduced herself as Laurel, took a moment to read over the whiteboard and erase Tucker's name and write her own. She had Jeff wake Nick up and help him calm down - he always startled awake and didn't seem to know where he was, Jeff had learned quickly.

Nick seemed a little more comfortable with a female nurse once he was awake, and allowed her to take vitals without much fuss, then agreed to another dose of medication to last him through the night.

When she had finished, she turned to Jeff. "Where will you be staying the night?"

Jeff blinked. "Here, with him."

Laurel frowned, seeming surprised. "I think it would be a good idea to go home for the night, don't you? We encourage loved ones to spend the night in their own bed whenever possible."

He bristled at first, but Nick reached for his hand. "She's right. Go home, you need to sleep, too. I'll be fine."

He couldn't argue with that. It was true, he was exhausted. He could feel the oppressive weight of fatigue on his shoulders, he couldn't imagine what it was like for Nick.

So he kissed Nick goodbye, long and hard, arms tight around the fragile parts of him, and forced himself to turn and walk out. In the halls, he ached already.

Driving home, he kept his mind carefully blank. He let himself into Nick's silent apartment, and barely managed to get his shoes off before collapsing into Nick's bed, falling into a deep sleep surrounded by the comforting scent of his safe, healthy boyfriend, not this one who never quite seemed to stop trembling and smelled unmistakably of hospital and fear.

It took almost a full minute for him to rouse a few hours later, woken by a steady stream of video calls from Nick. Still not entirely aware of himself, he picked up the phone.

Nick's jaw was locked open, his face discolored and blotchy. There were urgent voices in the background, and what seemed like spotlights on Nick in his dark hospital room.

"Jeff," he signed with a shaky hand. A sob rattled up his throat. "I need you."