With little argument, the two Konoha ninja returned to an out of the way inn, which Sasuke deemed necessary since they were both exhausted, and simply passing out in the middle of the street might arouse suspicion. Naruto had been shocked that his partner hadn't planned on reporting the encounter to their village immediately, since Sakura and Sasuke both had drilled that particular habit into his head after years of effort. Not that he minded this exception.

After waking up the next morning, Sasuke began the lengthy process of smacking himself in the face for each mistake he had made last night.

There was pushing to go off on this mission in the first place so he could disappear, then getting discovered by that pirate woman, then running off after an S-rank ninja without backup, then using the Tsukuyomi on a whim. It was still slight, but he could tell that his eyesight in that eye was just a bit blurrier than it had been. This was the one heirloom he had left from his brother, and he was wasting it on half-baked plans.

He was so stupid. He even knew what the problem was. He'd seen it so many times before. When a ninja acquires a one-shot-kills-all technique, they throw themselves into situations they would have backed down from before because suddenly every problem seems like it can be solved with their new trick. They say that when all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail, but there was still no reason to go around looking for the biggest nails you could find. Sasuke had madde a solemn decision not to use the Tsukuyomi unless the danger was dire, but now he also resolved to avoid using it if running away was a more reasonable option.

Speaking of running away, to put the cap on all of his failures he had wasted his best chance to leave the village in the chaos because of poor planning. He just plain shouldn't have gotten involved in that fight at all.

Actually, his traitorous brain reminded him, fighting a dangerous member of Akatsuki all alone would have been the perfect opportunity to fake my death.

*SMACK*

The problem was that, while Sasuke was well aware that a good friend would tell his team that he was leaving forever, he was an Uchiha. One of ANBU's secondary duties was hunting down the bodies of any Konoha ninja who possessed abnormal characteristics, whether natural or artificial. One man's trash, so to speak, was another man's treasure, and the body of an Uchiha, Hyuuga, Inuzuka, or Aburame clan member that was left to rot was paydirt for any enemy nation. Danzou's actions were proof enough of that.

ANBU took their job very seriously. They wouldn't just trust any first-hand reports of his body's destruction; they would verify it for themselves, and Sasuke could be sure that if his eyes were unaccounted for then they would keep watch for decades at least. Naruto, and even Sakura, wouldn't hold up to that level of scrutiny if they knew the truth.

He couldn't say anything to his friends before he left, but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye, either. He could tell Naruto he was leaving to hunt down Danzou, even though he had decided to avoid the man as much as was possible, but Naruto would come with him in a heartbeat.

He felt rather guilty about that.

Eventually, he decided on his course. Now was the time. He'd leave a note and stow away on one of these ships. Writing at his desk, he said his goodbyes and discouraged Naruto in the strongest terms from coming after him. He'd hunt down Danzou and return when he had succeeded, or so he wrote.

He felt even more guilty about that.

Setting it on his bed, Sasuke slipped out in the morning, saying his silent goodbyes. If all went well, he'd never see any of his friends again.

-Urasoe no machi-

-Ten Minutes Later-

So it was that Naruto met him at the port, flagging him down as if he had been impatiently waiting for his arrival.

"Yo, Sasuke! You finally got here! Also, dude, what the hell are you looking at me like that for?"

"Wha- you… I… No, no reason."

"Alright, if you say so. You ready to go?"

"Go? Why do you-? Oh, you mean going back to the village," Sasuke said, as Naruto gave him a strange look. Looks like he'd have to delay his departure a bit. "No, I can't call this mission over yet, Naruto. We've got to find out some more information about what Akatsuki was doing here. I think you should return immediately to report everything that happened here while I finish up the investigation."

Now Naruto was looking at him with a deeply furrowed brow and slack-jawed mouth.

"The village? Who the hell cares about reporting to the village right now?! We're going after them, right?"

"After Akatsuki?" Sasuke asked, in disbelief, "I mean, sure I want Danzou dead, but that's a personal matter. I can't drag you into this kind of family business."

"You think this isn't personal for me?"

"He didn't kill your family, Na-"

Before he had even finished that sentence, Naruto had stepped in and hit him with a right hook straight in the jaw. Sasuke shouted in pain, landing on the stones of the dock. A few nearby workers stopped what they were doing and looked over in concern. Naruto waved them off, then turned and kicked Sasuke again in the side.

"Ah! What the hell was that for, you asshole?!" Sasuke shouted, though he was certain he deserved it.

"The first one was for saying that me helping you isn't personal, you dick. Sakura and I already kicked your ass for trying that line before."

"Yeah, I'll take you on any time," Sasuke replied, getting to his feet and spitting out a bit of blood. "Still, I'll bite. What's the second one for?"

"The second one," Naruto continued, as if Sasuke hadn't said anything, "is because you think everything revolves around you."

Sasuke glared at his partner. Something about the way Naruto glared back told him he had more to say.

"You saw him, too, right? That Akatsuki guy with the driftwood mask?"

"Yeah, I saw him," Sasuke said, "Came out of nowhere on the ship, started talking like he didn't even care that we might attack him, and left riding a huge shark."

Naruto nodded, still glaring at Sasuke and working his mouth in anger. "He interrupted the fight we were having and told Orochimaru to back off. The snake-bastard listened to him, too, which was crazy, but not as crazy as what he said next." Naruto paused again, literally growling with frustration. "AHH, this pisses me off just thinking about it!"

"What did he say?"

"He said he recognized me! He said that he was the one that killed my Mom and Dad."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah, 'oh, shit' is right, you ass."

"Is that true? I thought your parents... died when the Nine-Tails broke out?"

"Yeah, he said he was behind that, too. When I asked why the hell he'd done such a crazy-ass thing, he just said that he didn't even fucking remember, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time!"

Sasuke backed away in a hurry. Naruto looked like he was ready to start hitting people again.

"So, yeah, like I said, we're going after them, right?" Naruto asked again, slowly regaining control.

Without even thinking about it, Sasuke had already given up on his previous plan. He'd go out to sea and help Naruto. Slowly, he began to laugh at the reversal of fate.

"You know," Sasuke chuckled, "I hear it's really not normal for a couple of Chuunin our ages to run into these kinds of problems."

Naruto snorted at Team Seven's unofficial motto, then began chuckling as well. Sasuke continued speaking when he saw his friend's spirits lift.

"Alright, then we'll hunt them down. What the hell, they're just guarded by a group of mass-murdering S-Rank missing-nin. But first, here's what we have to do..."

As the day wore on, the two of them gathered supplies. Sasuke surreptitiously destroyed the note he had written. Eventually, they made their way to a center that cared for messenger birds, including a few paid for by Konoha. Together, they composed an update for the village.

Naruto preferred to follow his teacher, Jiraiya, in his habit of not really reporting in at all until he was satisfied no one could order him to stop doing whatever he wanted to be doing. When it came to redefining missions on a whim, Naruto had learned from the very best.

Their message read as follows:

Mission encountered unexpected difficulties. Three members of Akatsuki attacked mystery ships. Unknown wooden-masked man confirmed, as well as Sannin Orochimaru and Shimura Danzou. Repeat. Former Konoha Elder verbally confirmed Akatsuki membership as well as assassination of the Third.

Other Akatsuki inferred from statements. Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke will proceed with new mission parameters to follow them out to sea and identify Akatsuki presence.

First Mission Transmittal Code: DA-RU-JI-94601

There. No reason to get Naruto branded as a runaway, too. Now they just needed to get off the island.

Naruto was the first one to break down and make the inevitable suggestion.

-Urasoe no machi-

-Port-

-Morning-

Was it a good thing or a bad thing that they were leaving this godforsaken island? Usopp wasn't at all sure. On the one hand they would be leaving the place where those robed freaks had come from. Scary-ass snake-men, guys who spat cutting wind, weird masked dudes who control sharks, those were all just par for the course in his life these days, but usually they ran into these sorts of guys at the end of some heart-pulverizing adventure, not immediately after landing. Those monsters had almost taken the Going Merry, and he hadn't been able to do a thing to stop them!

So leaving all that sort of thing behind was a good thing! On the other hand, they had only waited in port for one more day for the Log Pose to set before casting off. The Going Merry was now headed in the same direction those freaks had left.

The. Same. Direction.

Explaining the problem to the captain was proving to be somewhat difficult.

"Usopp! They tried to take the Merry! If we don't hurry up, they'll get away! It's been a day already." Luffy was relentlessly focused. He hadn't even taken them miles inland on some crazy adventure to get them all killed. He'd just waited, tapping his feet, gnashing his teeth, and occasionally shouting at Nami to find out if their Log Pose had set.

If Usopp wanted this handled correctly, he'd have to take a different approach.

"Hey, Luffy, you know, they ran away from us, right?" he said, sloshing buckets of fake confidence over his quaking voice, "So they knew we'd get used to their tricks pretty soon, and wanted to get away from us!" He paused as further false bravado came crashing into him, unbidden, like a mighty wave hitting his hull, "I mean, it's easy to see why they would run away! They caught me off-guard but I was about to grab the weapons I devised for just such an occasion, and then I would have set them on fire and blasted them right into the sea!"

A high-pitched squeal of excitement came from their ship's doctor, who had been listening in, "Ehhh?! Really?! That's incredible! Your knees were shaking, and I thought we were doomed!"

Oh, that impressionable young reindeer. He really was the perfect side-kick. "No! They were trembling… with excitement!" Usopp shouted, arm thrust out imperiously before him.

Chopper screamed with delight, and even Luffy was turning his head, eyes wide. Now was the time to exploit this opening.

"The point is that we're ready for them now, and they won't stand a chance next time! Soooo," Usopp said, drawing out the word, "We should take pity on them and give them a head-start!"

Nami had apparently been listening from the deck above. Their navigator had certainly taken longer than was strictly necessary to inform the Captain once the Log Pose had set. Now, she jumped in as support. "Yes. Yes! Luffy, another day or two and we can chase after them. You know, give them a sporting chance? It'll be more of a fight that way!"

Thank the seas for Nami. She could be scary, but she also knew the value of being scared, which made her his greatest ally on the ship. Okay, well it's out there. Come on, Luffy, take the bait, hook, line and-

"No!" Luffy shouted, growling, "They already got a head start. It's been a full day and it's time to go after them."

-Stinker, thought Usopp.

That was that. The captain's orders were absolute, except in cases of mutiny. Actually, if you defined 'mutiny' as attacking the captain and then doing the exact opposite of his orders, then they mutinied pretty frequently on the Merry. It was practically an every-day occurrence. Usually it was Nami smacking him over the head, but she seemed unwilling to press the issue now.

So they set sail, for real this time. Normally, Usopp would go hide in his workshop and start tinkering, but he wasn't too excited about the possibility of gigantic sea snakes piercing the hull at any second. Instead, he scurried up to the crow's nest, intending to begin a protracted campaign of cowering, chanting prayers, and muttering to himself. That usually helped.

He was halfway up when he saw two figures standing on the surface of the water ahead of them. His heart started dancing double-time, and he scrambled up the rope webbing, catapulting himself into the crow's nest. You needed stability for a good scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-! THEY'RE BAAACK!" Usopp grabbed the binoculars from their perch and hurriedly focused them. "THEY'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE-! Oh, no, wait a second, that's not them."

Phew!

The sound of someone face-planting down below was vaguely audible, but that was hardly important right now.

It was two of the jerks who had attacked them, alright, but it was the two who had helped against those weirdos in the cool robes. They were just standing on the surface of the water, about a quarter-mile in front of the ship. Soon, the ship approached to within shouting distance. Nami and Robin were on deck, staring down at the approaching pair. Chopper was hiding in the corner. Luffy was sitting in his favorite perch, straddling the Merry's vaguely ram-ish figurehead, staring at the two kids. Usopp couldn't see Luffy's face from this angle, but he presumed Luffy was staring wide-eyed.

"That's so damn cool! How are you standing on the water like that?!" Luffy shouted.

Usopp had to interrupt. He'd seen this sort of thing once before, back on the approach to Drum Island. "Hey! Luffy! Don't be fooled," he shouted, "They're standing on a submarine or something. It's a trick!"

Luffy gave a disappointed groan. The two kids on the water exchanged glances. Then, the blond one spoke up.

"Hey! Stop the boat! Let us on so we can speak with you! And what's a submarine?" he shouted.

Nami spoke up next, ignoring the last question, "It's a ship, not a boat. And you can't just 'stop' it; we're at sea. We're not going to furl the sails and weigh anchor just to say hello."

Yeah, you tell 'em, Nami. I don't know what these villains want, but I vote we don't stick around to find out.

The two kids shared another glance before they broke into a run, dancing across the waves to get out of the ship's path. In a moment they were jogging parallel to the Merry, matching the ship's speed on the port side.

Usopp muttered to himself, "Okay, so not a submarine then."

Robin spoke next, which surprised him. "Is that you, curious one? The one asking the questions at the harbor?"

"Yes, that was me," responded the black-haired guy.

"We seem to be in the same position as last time, though I would have regarded you as quite a bit more suspicious had you approached me on the water like this," she said, laughing softly.

"I'm sorry," he called back, "I didn't introduce myself properly and now I'd like to correct that. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. This is my friend and teammate, Uzumaki Naruto. As he said, we'd like to come on-board."

"My, how polite. But you're talking to the wrong person, I think," she said, inclining her head towards Luffy.

Luffy interrupted, speaking with the suspicion of the thoroughly perplexed. "So… how are you running on the ocean? Can I do that?"

Sasuke looked confused for a moment, then said, "It's… a kind of training we get in our village. It's not too uncommon. You seemed pretty powerful, so I thought you would have seen it before."

Usopp could only see the top of Luffy's head, but it looked like he just kept staring blankly at the pair. It was an expression so familiar he didn't even need to see it to visualize it.

Sasuke seemed a little unnerved as he continued, "Well... Have you ever heard of chakra?" Silence. "Uhh… it's a kind of energy produced by living things. Through training and meditation you can focus it and use it in battle, or for, well, other things." Silence. "Like, running on the ocean?"

The silence continued, but Usopp refocused his binoculars. Naruto and Sasuke had deeply confused expressions, and Luffy seemed to be nodding slightly in agreement.

Wait a minute.

Swiftly, and without a noise, Luffy slipped from his perch and toppled bonelessly into the waves.

"AHH! IT'S A SONIC ATTACK! THEY'VE PUT LUFFY TO SLEEP!" Usopp bellowed at the top of his lungs. "RESCUE SQUAD, SAVE HIM, HE CAN'T SWIM!"

Nami dashed to the stern, shouting for Sanji. Robin and Chopper were just out of the question, being Fruit-users themselves, and Usopp was stuck up in the crow's nest.

Naruto's mouth was hanging open in shock, and Sasuke had recovered enough to slap his forehead with one palm, before dragging it slowly down his face. Then, he stuck one fist out towards Naruto. A second later…

"Seriously?" said Naruto.

"Yep," responded Sasuke.

"Rock-Paper-Scissors! Rock-Paper-Scissors! Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

"Aw, Dammit!" shouted Naruto, who immediately leapt off the surface of the water, then dove in, breaking the waves as he disappeared.

Before long, the two strangers had Luffy laid out on the deck. During the commotion, Sanji had arrived from the kitchen and was cautiously smoking, watching over the two kids with a focused expression. Naruto and Sasuke, however, were far too busy staring flabbergasted at the sight before them. Luffy was now roughly spherical, having somehow breathed in a bathtub full of seawater. He sputtered and leakeed helplessly on the deck. Chopper quickly approached, his medical training overcoming his fear of the strangers.

"Oh no! Luffy, how did you even do this? He'll never be able to breathe out this much water in time!" exclaimed their reindeer doctor. Off to the side, Robin watched with an amused smile, then summoned a line of hands from the deck door, passing herself an umbrella from inside.

Wonder what she thinks she needs that for? Usopp thought.

Naruto, meanwhile, looked horrified. "Uhhh, what's... Umm, is he gonna be okay? I mean, just, Wow."

Chopper continued, focused entirely on the patient. "We have to get it out of you quickly! Only one thing for it! WaaAaaarrrgh!" He roared as he transformed into his Brute form, an eight foot tall reindeer man, and slammed Luffy in the solar plexus with two humongous fists.

A veritable geyser erupted from Luffy's lungs, prompting screams from the two bewildered ninja who were watching this. Unfortunately for Usopp, who was climbing down the ropes from the crow's nest, the catastrophic blast of water hit him straight in the face, sending him flying off into the ocean.

Naruto couldn't help himself. He started cackling, guffawing, and even raucously roaring when Luffy blasted the long-nosed guy off the deck. It just wouldn't stop! He kept laughing until the sodden mess crawled, scowling, back onto the deck. Pointing and wheezing, Naruto rolled on the ground.

"BAHAHAH! Serves you all right! Hahahah! Does he do this to everyone?! Even by my standards, these guys are CRAZY!"

The red-headed woman who'd yelled at him earlier frowned. "Wait, 'everyone?' What are you talking about?"

"Nami, don't talk to them," interrupted the sodden long-nosed fellow, muttering as he wiped himself off, "That was an assassination attempt, and it took out Luffy and me in one attack." He paused to wipe more water from his eyes. "They're too dangerous to keep on the ship. Besides, nobody gets away with laughing at the captain except us."

Naruto kept laughing, only barely suppressing it. "Oh man! Oh damn! That's great! What a mess! Man, nose-dude I gotta tell you, that was hilarious."

"Glad to see someone found it funny," grumbled Usopp.

Sasuke nudged him in the side, and Naruto forced himself to calm down.

"No, nose-dude, no you've got it wrong. Your, heh, captain," *snort* "-got me the same way, but with soup, so don't feel so bad."

"He spilled soup on you?" Nami asked.

"No, the jerk spat, like, a bucket full of soup at my face then ran away." Naruto stuck out a hand, offering to help the other guy up. "Guess that makes us partners in misery, huh?"

The long-nosed guy gave the hand a suspicious squinty glare, then took it, standing up and stepping quickly away from the two.

The rest of the assembled group was looking at Naruto now with disgust, Sasuke included.

"What?"

"Soup?" Sasuke asked, clearly incredulous.

"Yeah, he stole my soup, and sucked down a bucket of it, then spat it all out at me when I tried to catch him."

Multiple people made a face at that. Sasuke turned to look at the ship captain, now coughing up more water with the doctor's assistance. Naruto took the silence as leave to continue speaking, resting both hands on the back of his head in a relaxed pose.

"So, listen, we both need to follow those guys from the other night, okay? Nobody who's left here besides you has a ship that can follow them, so will you please let us hitch a ride till you get to another town?"

"Hey, now," said Nami, "We're going to do everything we can to avoid creeps like that."

"-And don't think we trust you, either," said the long-nosed guy.

The blond man in the odd suit who had been smoking nearby ground out his cigarette in his tiny cigarette case before he added in a cool, calm voice, "There's no guarantee the next island will even have a port to stop off at. We might be stuck with two more shitty guys for who knows how long. It might be different if you were bringing a lady along, but…"

Naruto snorted. Right, he'd dealt with this kind of thing before. Quickly, his fingers came together in the sign of the Ram.

[SEXY TECHNIQUE]

A puff of smoke brought scattered surprise, but when it cleared it revealed a blonde bombshell who stood completely naked except for a few strangely persistent wisps of smoke.

"If it's a lady you're interested in…" said Naruko, her voice dripping with tones of barely-controlled teenage fantasies.

The man staggered back, stunned. His eyes bugged out, filling with pulsing pink heart-shapes. "N-NO OBJECTIONS!" he shouted, before toppling backward to the deck.

Naruto transformed back in another puff of smoke, grinning proudly over at his teammate. Sasuke smirked, shaking his head, then accepted a victorious fist-bump. Time to toss the ball.

"So," interjected Sasuke, "I'm sorry for earlier, but would it be possible to get some introductions?"

They got them fairly easily. Nami gave out everyone's names without question.

'There's something really weird about this group,' Naruto thought, 'like, they're both really paranoid and really resigned to our presence at the same time. Well, except for that one guy.'

Usopp had been edging further and further away as this had gone on. "No… no way, you can't possibly stay on the ship with us. There's… there's no room, first of all. Second, we're already full on our quota of 'mysterious magic-users who've tried to kill us recently'. No offense, Robin."

"None taken," she said, cheerfully.

"Besides," said Nami, "There's the matter of payment. We couldn't exactly spend Beli at your port, so I'm guessing you don't even have any cash."

Naruto contemplated the messy wad of bills and coins stuffed into his froggy change-pouch. Probably wouldn't do any good here. That was depressing.

Sasuke, though, had a suggestion. "You must believe that we're hunting those rogue ninja. If you're attacked, we would be more fighters to defend the ship. Plus, we can give you intel on their abilities."

That was one thing Naruto had always appreciated about Sasuke; at any time, no matter how bad a fight got, he always had an idea of all the assets they had available to them. Once, during preparation for a group mission, he'd seen Sasuke make a beeline straight for some girl who kept spares of these really awesome modified explosive seals, just because he'd talked to her once during the Chuunin exam, two years prior. Just once! It was a shame he hadn't talked to her more, 'cause she had been super cute.

Nami looked conflicted, but she didn't get to speak, as Luffy had finally recovered, shouting from behind them.

"HEY! Did you say 'Ninja?!'" Luffy roared.

Sasuke blinked a few times in confusion. "Y-yeah. They're part of a dangerous group of rogue ninja from around the Elemental Kingdoms. Together, they're known as 'Akatsuki.'"

"Usopp! Chopper! They said, 'Ninja!' 'Ninja!'"

"Wait..." said Usopp, suspiciously, "Are you both ninjas too?"

"Yeah," said Naruto.

Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp all began screaming with excitement.

"I... thought you all didn't know about ninjas?" asked Naruto, "The other ships at the dock sure didn't."

"Hey, do you think I'm stupid," exclaimed Luffy, "Everybody knows about ninjas and samurai!" Usopp and Chopper nodded along, brimming with glee.

Nami shook her head and sighed. "Guys, ninjas are mostly make-believe. Don't assume you know what these people can do just because they might share the same names."

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other uncertainly. Something was a bit weird here.

"Well, what do you think ninja are?" asked Naruto, determined to get to the bottom of this.

"They wear masks, and have cool hair, and throw knives!" shouted Usopp enthusiastically.

"And they do kung-fu, and jump around, and know all sorts of poisons!" continued Chopper.

"And they breathe fire, and fly, and can teleport, and blow up mountains, and become invisible, and turn into crazy animals, and cut you in half without you even knowing!" finished Luffy in a single breath.

"Luffy, you're thinking of wizards," said Nami, "Or dragons, or something. I don't know what boy's adventure book you guys are getting this stuff from, but it definitely wasn't talking about ninjas,"

Nami was entirely incorrect. Naruto had never even heard of a 'wizard' before. Luffy and the others, on the other hand, were spot on. Something was definitely odd here. Sasuke was on the ball immediately.

"How do you know what a ninja is if you've never seen one before?" he asked.

There was a moment of intense confusion before all three of their faces settled into puzzled frowns. Nami turned and left, muttering about being 'surrounded by idiots.' She nearly made it to the lower deck door before the green-haired swordsman from the previous night opened it first, stepping out onto the deck as he finished a yawn.

"Nami, what's going on?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, just gained another two dangerous passengers, that's all. Judging by the way Luffy was screaming earlier, they'll be full crew-members by the end of the week."

"Oh, you mean those two ninjas from the other night?"

"God! You stupid boys! You're all children!" she growled, before slamming the door behind her.

Zoro, shook his head, frowning. "What the hell was that for? And why's that dumbass cook bleeding all over the deck?"

Off to the side, Robin stood by, and she just couldn't stop grinning.

END OF PART 1