The world was on fire, and Usopp sat watching it burn.
What was going on? His ears were ringing, and he wasn't sure when exactly he had sat up, but he was quite certain that falling over again would be too painful to imagine. His whole body was going to be a bruise if he survived this, and it felt like his legs were broken, but it was just too hard to tell with all the other injuries covering him.
Beside him, a burnt and battered Naruto was face first in the dirt. Sasuke was standing over the both of them, tossing shuriken, strengthening the flames, and slicing things out of the air as quickly as he could. The others were there, too. This was a familiar scene, Usopp realized. He congratulated himself for realizing that he had seen it all just a little bit ago. Except... The last time he had seen it this way, he had blown up.
Was he going to blow up again? What would help him not blow up again? He needed to get that bomber guy, right? Then the explosions would stop?
He reached into his pouch, pulling out a random piece of ammunition. Raising it to his slingshot, he took aim and fired.
*SHOOOOP* *CRACK* *SPLAT* The bomber screamed in pain, and then he kept screaming. "AHHH! FUCK! WHAT IS THIS?! HOT SAUCE?! GODDAMMIT! MY EYE!"
"Heh… can't see now, can you," muttered Usopp, delirious with pain, "That's right. That's my Tabasco Star..."
"Usopp!" shouted Sasuke, "Usopp! Pay attention! He's got one eye in a goggle. Once he cleans the lens he'll be able to see! Hit him again, fast!"
Dammit… couldn't be easy, could it? The bomber was climbing rapidly now, still too blind to dodge, so Usopp took another shot, and this one exploded as it hit the bird's moving wing.
One more. Just one more shot and it'd be fine. He'd be fine. No more exploding.
Another piece of ammunition to the slingshot. He fired.
*SHOOOOOP* *CRACK* *SPLAT* The bomber screamed again, but it was an entirely different sound this time. "OH, HOLY HELL! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" *gack* *bluh* He gagged, suddenly fighting to hold down his stomach. *guh* "Ugh! It's in my mouth! Shit!"
"Heh. Rotten eggs... Serves you right... That's the power of my Egg Star, apparently... Gets you coming and going..."
Then, Usopp passed out.
Stinging, nauseous, and in pain, Deidara wished to share his displeasure with the world.
"You little worm!" he shouted, "I will destroy you! You and everything you hold dear! I'm coming back around for you- no, first I'll blow up your ship!"
Something was seriously wrong with these people. He hadn't expected the non-ninja fighters to put up anything like a serious fight, but that sharpshooter was ridiculous. His aim was perfect, and when it came to tracking Deidara's birds it was as if he was literally seeing the future. Still, the bastard was out cold now, and the rest of them had nothing that could stop his bombs.
Just as he was thinking that, there was motion from the treeline. Several dozen white-and-blue uniformed soldiers poured out into the clearing and took aim, each and every one of them with a rifle at the ready.
In the Elemental Kingdoms guns were a rarity, being inaccurate and inelegant things, but Deidara had at least a passing familiarity with them as weapons of war. Guns just weren't scary to him. They took forever to reload, used inferior explosives, and even a group of them couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Franky, he doubted they could even reach him up here.
With a crack, a bullet whizzed right past his head. What the hell?
At the front of the group of soldiers, a man with dark skin and an ornamented jacket pulled out a megaphone.
"ATTENTION ALL COMBATANTS! THIS IS CAPTAIN SEBASTIAN WEBER OF VICE ADMIRAL GARP'S THIRD FLEET! LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND SURRENDER PEACEFULLY OR WE WILL SHOOT YOU DOWN!"
"Aw, hell," cursed Deidara. This was annoying.
There was a saying: 'It never rains, but it pours.'
Captain Sebastian Weber also considered another idiom: "One in the hand is worth two in the bush." Right now they had just encountered the Straw-Hat Pirates along with the internationally wanted criminal, Nico Robin. What's more, the Straw-Hats were wounded and divided by a dangerous group of unknowns. In addition, his brave men and women were holding off a wave of pirate treasure hunters drawn here by the gold. Finally, a Poneglyph had just fallen right into their laps.
Any other day and any one of these challenges would have been easily handled and earned them a feather in their cap. But there was a problem. Commodore Flounders was quick to put it into words, his voice high-pitched and scratchy.
"Are they fighting over the gold or the Poneglyph, do you think? It's never pretty when two crews start going after the same heist."
Sebastian didn't bother looking beside him. He wouldn't see anything. The Commodore was very stealthy when he wanted to be, a fact that had benefited their group, Flounders' Fishermen, greatly during their former life of crime.
"My guess would be that Nico Robin has convinced the Straw-Hats to fight for the gold so that she can read the forbidden words. She's the only one who can, after all. The other group, that black-cloaked duo, must be after the gold itself."
"Do you think she had time to decipher the stone? She does appear to be wounded."
"Who can say."
Commodore Flounders made a noise of reserved agreement. Shifted up in tone, it sounded like a long squeak. "The Straw-Hats are slippery. We must be realistic. Our priority has to be as follows. First, separating Nico Robin from the stone. Second, the capture of Nico Robin. Third, the capture of the Straw-Hats. Fourth, the capture of these unknown pirates. I will position myself to ambush the Straw Hats and disable them at sea, so we should focus our efforts here on isolating the stone.
Sebastian nodded. It was a sound assessment. He raised the Den-Den Mushi and made a connection to the one of their three ships that they still had at sea.
"Captain Saldicci, we've had a situation. The Straw-Hats will be escaping the island and we aren't likely to catch them. The Commodore will sneak on board and disable their ship, but we need you to be at the westward side of the island and ready to board them once the Commodore is done."
"Understood and acknowledged" pronounced the rumbling voice on the other end, the snail's face square and surly.
Turning to the men and women under his command, Sebastian gave the order.
"Well, we warned them. Open fire!"
Deidara began dodging wildly, attempting to shield himself from the incoming hail of surprisingly fast and accurate gunfire using the body of his bird.
"Shit!" he cursed, "This day just keeps getting better and better, un! Who the hell brings so many guns to this kind of party?"
Soaring high out of range until he could survey the entire battlefield, he dove back down like a meteor into the bell's deep impact crater, unfurling his wings to halt his fall right in front of the Poneglyph. With a smooth motion, he made the clay bird creation grab onto the belfry with its wings, pressing its belly into the surface of the stone tablet and rolling back and forth. When it pulled back, the bird's clay underbelly was imprinted with an exact replica of its complex markings.
"The priorities have changed," said Commodore Flounders, and then there was a rustling in the grass. Flounders was gone. There was no point in trying to follow him with his eyes.
Sebastian cursed his luck. "It never rains, but it pours, hmm?"
"Hey, Altar-boy!" Deidara shouted at Hidan, who was retrieving his weapons with sullen menace, "If you're planning on coming back up with me then now's the time! Get the hell on the bird and let's go!"
Hidan scowled, clearly upset by the results of his fight, but leapt up to the clay creation, grabbing a steady perch before both shinobi rose up into the air.
Unnoticed by everyone present, there was a rustling in the grass at the edge of the crater and then a blur of motion that collided with Deidara's mount. The bird didn't shake in the slightest from the tiny impact, and continued to rise with no one else the wiser.
Right before the two Akatsuki members crested the top of the crater, a massive series of explosions detonated across the surrounding landscape, sending Marines ducking and covering to shield themselves from flying debris. By the time the gunfire began again in earnest, the two shinobi had ascended almost out of reach.
The Straw-Hats, meanwhile, were making good on their escape. The bell group had made it to the stone house without further injury. Usopp, Naruto, and Robin were out of the fight, being carried by Zoro, Sasuke, and Chopper, respectively.
"Oh, no!" cried Chopper as they approached the ship, "What happened to the Merry?"
The Merry was a mess. As everyone boarded the ship, they could finally see the extent of the damage. There was a ragged gash in the side of the hull and a number of burnt holes had been punched in the deck, forcing the crew to put out a few small fires before they could spread further. Luckily, the sails were mostly intact and there was no serious damage below the waterline.
They could fix the Merry later. Right now, they had to leave, because the Marines were going to be right on their tail. There was just one problem.
"Listen to me! Everyone, listen to me!" shouted Nami, "If we leave the island before the Log Pose is set, we'll have to come right back! We've still got a day and half to go!"
Cricket cursed until the air was blue. "You can't seriously be arguing this now! Look!" Pointing off into the ocean, they saw two ships. One was a strange ship with some sort of monkey theme. Another one off in the distance around the island was clearly a Marine ship.
"I called for help. That ship's owned by some friends of mine that have an Eternal Pose set to this island. They're very familiar with dodging the Marines, and they can get us away from here safely if we make it to them, no problem. But that won't matter at all if that Marine ship catches up to us before they get here! I can't be here either, I've got a bounty on my head same as you. You're good luck charms, kids, and I want to see you succeed, but we need to leave now. Come back to set the Log Pose later!"
"There won't be any later!" said Nami, "After word of that bell spreads, this island will be swarming with pirates and Marines alike! Four days here will be suicide!"
As the argument was set to continue, Naruto, still nursing his wounds with Chopper's help, interrupted them with a question. "Wait, all you need is to keep that Log Pose thing on the island for another day and a half, right?"
Nami nodded, uncertain of where he was going with this. Naruto held out his hand.
"Don't worry about it! Give that thing to Sasuke and me and we'll hide out here for a while. No way are a couple of badass ninja like us gonna be caught out by some mook soldiers. We'll signal you when it's set."
Sasuke turned to Naruto in surprise, then nodded his agreement.
Cricket nodded as well, quick to support this plan. "It'll work. My friends' Eternal Pose means we can make it back here any time. We'll stick with them at sea until you're ready to come back. I hope you like bananas."
Sanji, however, seemed uncertain. "How the hell are we supposed to know you two won't just take off with the Log Pose the instant we leave sight of shore, huh?"
Sasuke shook his head, "You've still got our stuff, don't you?"
"Nami, give it to them," said Luffy, still bleeding from a number of wounds. "We don't have time to argue."
That was the end of it. Naruto grabbed the Log Pose, and then both of the ninja disappeared in an explosion of smoke. When the smoke cleared, both Naruto and Sasuke were still standing there.
"Umm," started Chopper, "Weren't you two going to leave?"
"Shh!" hissed Naruto, "We're two shadow clones. We're fake! It's just me, Naruto, twice! We're hoping to throw off anyone who might be watching. Come on, we need to get going!"
The crew muttered something about ninja bullshit, but they listened anyway, moving to set sail.
And so the wounded Going Merry sailed off into a retreat.
Sebastian considered the situation. When the Commodore had switched targets, they had realistically lost any hope of catching the Straw-Hats. Even now, ruffians from the town were starting to approach the area as word of an unclaimed golden treasure reached them. He called immediately for a cease-fire. His soldiers obeyed quickly.
"That's enough! Let the Commodore handle those two rogues! Secure the area and cordon off that crater! Don't let anyone near that bell!" Then, using his portable Den-Den-Mushi, he communicated the Commodore's orders back to the one of their three ships that was still at sea. "Captain Saldicci, the Commodore's changed targets. Follow the Straw-Hats. Sink them if you can, but your priority is to get them away from the island and return here."
"Away From The Island?"
"That's the plan. And we will follow the plan. Captain Weber out."
Sebastian disconnected, sighing. The Navy had thought that the only person with the capability to decipher those stones was the wanted fugitive, Nico Robin. Clearly, that had been wishful thinking. No one would recover a clay impression of the stone if they didn't think they could use it. So now they had two targets to chase, but little freedom to move. Was Nico Robin the more important target, or the unknown group?
Nico Robin tended to jump from group to group, crew to crew, and had enjoyed very limited success convincing others to aid her with her personal quest.
This new group of pirates were complete unknowns, as far as he was aware. An unknown and unmonitored group with both the ability and inclination to hunt the Poneglyphs was severely frightening.
Given Nico Robin's normal patterns, the choice was clear. Having been wounded, she might not even have read the stone, so the Commodore's priority had to be on the new pirate crew. They couldn't let them escape without a single lead for Intelligence to work on.
Sebastian took a moment to look up toward the black-cloaked duo that was already shrinking from visibility.
Hidden in the moving folds of the clay bird, a single grey mouse clung on with grim determination, his ears flapping in the evening wind.