Naruto opened his eyes as the flood of information from his ship-board clone came to him. Since he had just received a clone download fifteen minutes ago not much was new aside from the plan, which meant he was ready to go. Grabbing the key from his mouth, he maneuvered it in place, the cuffs unlocking with a quiet *snik*. Naruto placed the key back in a pocket, but kept the cuffs on for now. He might still be stuck without even enough room to sit up properly, but at least now he could free his hands at a moment's notice.
Now he just had to decide whether he should escape on his own or try for a daring rescue of Robin. These guards were a bunch of chumps, so it was really tempting to just go for it. Franky, who was busy tapping his feet to some imagined tune, seemed tough enough to include in the breakout. With his help, it should be a cinch to take this place by storm.
Naruto's musings were interrupted by noises from the corridor. A door opening and closing. Footsteps on the deck. A few voices raised in acknowledgement. The snap of salutes. Naruto smirked. Sounds like the big guy himself was coming to visit.
Naruto waited patiently as the man stepped into view. He was a sturdy-looking fellow in impeccably tailored clothes and a Marine officer's coat of rank. The officer had a hard face that watched the young prisoner carefully, looking for anything out of the ordinary.
As a ninja, you had to develop a certain talent- almost a sixth sense- for estimating foes. Chakra meant that even a relatively unassuming opponent could be inappropriately dangerous, so you had to pay attention to other signs. The Marine officer made him think of a run-of-the-mill Jounin-level ninja- the kind someone like Kakashi could defeat without any real trouble. In other words, someone Naruto would do his best to avoid, but not an opponent for whom escape- or even victory- was out of the question if he had to fight. That in mind, he decided to delay the rampage for the moment. As a Chuunin, fighting this guy would just take way too much time. He'd get through this conversation, then start wreaking some well-deserved havoc afterwards.
When a second man arrived from down the hall, Naruto revised his decision again. This second arrival was tall, thin, and dressed almost entirely in shades of black. He wore a top-hat and an artistically-sculpted black beard that matched his dark hair. In a rather incongruous addition there was a pigeon wearing a tie perched calmly on his shoulder. The man moved as if he wasn't even paying attention to anything in the room, but when the his cold gaze slid across Naruto's cell, Naruto shuddered.
The man in black felt like the worst opponent he had ever met. Naruto had never seen someone that made him more nervous in his life, and everything from his face, to his posture, to his measured and restrained movements made Naruto want to break out into a sweat. He was a killer, and he probably did it for fun.
Before he even realized it, Naruto had decided his path. If there were more guys like this on the ship, then he needed to get out of here right away.
As the Marine officer approached Naruto, the killer approached Franky's cell. Naruto grabbed control of himself and met the officer's eyes as he began to speak.
"Naruto, I see you're finally awake. I suppose I should have come down to see you sooner, but I felt it would have been unproductive given that you were out cold. Also, totally unrelated, but jail makes me nervous. I'm Commodore Percival Flounders of Vice Admiral Garp's Third Fleet. This man here is Rob Lucci, an outside talent brought in to help with the heist."
Lucci glanced toward the Commodore for a brief moment.
"I mean, help with security," Flounders corrected himself.
"Security, my ass," exclaimed Franky, "Rob Lucci, huh? Buncha traitors kissing butt until you get what you need. And after all those years getting in good with Iceburg, you finally turn around and decide you've got the wrong guy after all? That's super rich, buddy, real-"
Lucci moved to the cell in a split-second, his hand wrapping itself around Franky's throat before he could react. The cyborg slammed a fist into Lucci's outstretched arm, and the impact resounded through the hall like a cannonball striking a steel beam. Lucci's grip didn't waver in the slightest.
'Welp,' thought Naruto, 'Time to get the hell outta here.'
When the Commodore's gaze turned to Lucci for a moment, Naruto brought his hand to his mouth, biting down on his thumb until he drew blood. When Flounders looked back his way, Naruto resumed his normal look of irreverent boredom and began idly drawing his thumb across the metal ceiling of his cot. Unseen to his jailors, a very particular seal of summoning began to take shape.
Flounders cleared his throat. "We have a problem now, young ninja. Two, really. First, your friend seems to have escaped us, and he was really the only assurance we had that you wouldn't just transform into the monster we saw on Long Ring Long Land Island. Lucci here seems confident you could be taken down if necessary, but I must remind you that Nico Robin is still on board this ship. If we sink, she goes down with us, and I'm sure I don't need to remind you that she cannot swim."
Naruto snorted, amused by their misunderstanding. Though, actually, he had forgot that Robin couldn't swim. Still, it's not like he was just gonna call on the Nine-Tails on a whim.
"Second, we need to know how your friend escaped us. We haven't seen so much as a hint of him since he slipped out. We can only assume that you can't do the same, or you would already be gone from here."
Flounders shook his head as Lucci dropped his hold on the recalcitrant cyborg and walked over to Naruto's cell. Flounders continued to speak.
"Unfortunately, we can't be sure if your friend is still with us or not, and with who we're transporting we can't afford the possibility of a rescue. Rob Lucci has been ordered by Intelligence to find out what you know, one way or another."
Naruto, still sketching the seal, brought his eyes down to meet the Commodore's. Though the man seemed uncomfortable, there was no evasion or weakness in his face.
"And I'm sorry, kid. It'd be better to cough up what you know right away. This guy knows how to get his screws into you."
Naruto worked his jaw, mulling the offer over. He had only a few sigils remaining to complete his seal. He spoke up. "Well, you're right. I can't do what Sasuke did. Or at least, not right now. And yeah, he's still somewhere on the ship, but you'll never find him with just your Navy chumps."
Lucci turned to him and frowned, narrowing his eyes, making Naruto concerned his lie had been seen through. Flounders, however, simply nodded.
"We thought so. We'll need to know enough to find him. I want to make sure you're aware that as it currently stands you and your friend have no bounty and no warrants out for your arrest. The Admiral held no grudges. Lots of very important people are very curious about the island you both came from. As such, if you cooperate with us then we can make sure you get out of here without any trouble. You won't be heading for any prison after interrogation."
Flounders suddenly acquired an odd, fixed sort of expression. "Then you'll want to lay low for a while. A couple months is generally good- it gives time for things to cool down, and you'll be able to get somewhere where your face isn't known. Now, young guys like you generally can't wait to fence the loot and get back into the action, but you'll have better luck-"
"Commodore," interjected Lucci, "He's bleeding. I can smell it."
"What?" Percival looked shocked for a moment, then sniffed the air, his nose twitching like a mouse. He turned back down the hall, calling, "You! Get this door open right now!" He looked back to Naruto. "Kid, whatever you're doing, I'd advise against it. This guy's teammates are cold-blooded killers, just like him. If you don't help us find your friend, they'll find him and kill him, and I really mean that."
"Hey, I'm not worried," said Naruto, finishing the last stroke of the seal, "Sasuke can take care of himself. Besides, what are you so scared about? I told you I can't escape the way he did."
"What are you doing?" asked Lucci, stepping forward.
With one smooth motion, Naruto released his unlocked cuffs and brought both hands together. "But I can do this!"
[NINPO: GYAKU-KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU: KAI] - [REVERSE SUMMONING TECHNIQUE: MODIFIED]
In the time it took Naruto to move his hands, Lucci had torn through the steel bars of the cell and lunged for the now-free ninja. The last thing Naruto saw was fingers like grasping claws just inches from his face.
Then he disappeared.
Naruto reappeared in a familiar landscape, splatting on his back into a wet patch of mud. Now he was surrounded by oddly-colored soil, mushrooms larger than he was, and enormous plants with colorful leaves. This was Mount Myoboku, mystical home to the Ninja Toads. As always, he was struck by the distinct impression that he had been shrunk down- which, honestly, could be the case. He wasn't really sure where, exactly, this mountain was, and Jiraiya had been evasive when he had asked, but right now all that mattered was that it was freedom.
Naruto got up, standing freely for the first time in days, blinking in the evening sunlight as he looked around him.
The Reverse Summoning Technique was normally used for the Toads to summon a contracted human as help if they were in trouble, bringing the target to Mount Myoboku in a reversal of the normal pattern. When the toad who summoned him ended the jutsu, Naruto would be teleported back to the exact location he had left from. But, as with all of the summoning techniques he'd seen, all of the blood, and seals, and ritual conditions were really only there to make the technique less horrendously inefficient. Teleporting a creature across entire countries in an instant was prohibitively costly in terms of chakra, which set odd limitations and forced most users to offer blood in its place.
Jiraiya had thought about this for a little while and offered Naruto his usual advice, which was to have him draw upon his enormous chakra reserves and just pump in more chakra, then keep pumping it in until something fundamental in the framework of the technique broke. Long story short, it turned out two new things were possible with this 'modified technique'. First was that summoning toads was doable in combat without the use of any blood or seals. Second was that he could force a reverse summoning without a caster on the other side. Still, he had to hurry.
After all, he'd return to the exact spot where he left from, but a Marine battleship wasn't a stationary object.
Dashing through the shaded paths, he made his way to a large bent stalk that looked like a fat caterpillar. It was dotted with decorations and small windows. Raising one hand, he knocked hurriedly on the side. A high-pitched, elderly voice called out from inside the stalk.
"Hold yer horses! Don't ya know yer not supposed to interrupt me while my shows are on? Yer lucky we're on commercials!"
Naruto had never known what, exactly, the lady toads in this village meant when they talked about their 'shows,' and they refused to elaborate. Soon, a sour face with a warty purple head and similarly purple toad-lips poked her head through a window near his head.
"Naruto-boy! What in the heavens are ya doin' here?!" exclaimed Granny Shima, the elderly illusion expert who had helped him through his training, "Everyone's in an all-fired uproar lookin' fer ya!"
"Hey Granny! Sorry, I really don't have time to explain. I need to cancel the summon in three minutes, tops, or my friends will be in bad shape. I need your help!"
Granny Shima frowned. Just like any other youngster, Naruto always moved too quickly for her. "Alright, we'll do it yer way. Yer lucky yer so cute, boy. Whaddaya need?"
"I need some spare supplies and tools right away. And some of my spare clothes. They took everything off of me!"
Shima grumbled but started to move. "Got yer storage scrolls in the back. Three minutes, huh? Well, that's just enough time fer commercials anyway. When all this is over, you come back and explain yerself properly, ya hear?"
Just a little over three minutes later, Naruto popped back into existence exactly where he had left, now about seventy feet over the open ocean. He fell, then landed on the surface of the waves. Quickly scanning about in the sunset gloom, he could just barely make out the glimmer of lights in the distance. He burst into a run, reversing his black and orange jacket as he did so to expose the dark inner lining. Feet slapping against the water, he caught up to the ships after several minutes of sprinting.
Three ships then. The lead was a battleship and was swarming with Lucci and his friends. The two at its heels were cruisers, and would be where the rest of the crew was being held. He'd have to take one of the cruisers and hope that the lead ship would be too busy looking for their recent escapees to respond to any disturbances in time.
With that in mind, Naruto approached the ship on the right, whipping a kunai deep into its rear end to mark his target to Sasuke. Time to be a big damn hero. Naruto leapt off the waves and slipped into the ship through an open gun-port.
For the love of everything good in this world, he hoped his new friends were alright.
-Meanwhile-
-Third Fleet Convoy-
"For the love of everything good in this world," screamed Usopp, "Will you two stop fighting everything in sight?!"
Sanji and Zoro ignored him, each one determined to outdo the other. After two days spent recovering from their wounds, their breakout had been horrific in its violence. Now, they moved through the halls randomly, obliterating both any opposition as well as any chance of stealth in their rampage. Unfortunately, the quantity of said opposition was increasing rapidly, and Usopp was being forced to dodge frequent hails of gunfire that the others failed to deal with.
Zoro's unpredictable meanderings through the ship appeared to be the only things keeping them from being swarmed to death by goons. Sure enough, a sudden dash through a ventilation room brought them running down an unoccupied hallway just a minute later.
Without warning, a door right behind Usopp opened up, revealing a blond Marine that seemed surprised to see them.
"Oh! There you are!" he said. Before Usopp could retreat, the Marine grabbed him and pulled him inside.
"HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!" Usopp shouted.
Cursing their luck, Sanji and Zoro retreated, rushing in after their crewmate. The Marine dropped his captive, ducking and jumping under a series of strikes from the violent duo.
"Whoa! Whoa-Whoa! Guys, it's me! Naruto! Stop it, will ya?!"
"What the-? Naruto?! You're okay? How the hell did you get here?" asked Sanji.
"Not important right now. Look, we've got two more ships out there. Robin's on the lead ship, and everyone else is on the other escort.
"Shit," cursed Zoro, "They're not even on the same ship, huh? This place is crawling with guards, and we've barely made any progress to the deck."
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU TWO MEAT-BRAINS KEEP SLICING AND KICKING EVERYTHING YOU SEE!" shouted Usopp.
"What do you want from us," asked Sanji, "We've got to fight our way to the deck, and whoever staffed this cruiser seems to have been recruiting exclusively from Knuckleheads Incorporated."
Naruto took one look one look around the room, his eyes falling on a nearby pile of uniforms. Suddenly, he was struck by an idea. He turned to Usopp and grinned.
"Hey, I think I have a way for us to stealthily get past the guards..."
-Three Seconds Later-
"What? No, no, you can't just cut off like that!" hissed Usopp, "You think this is some play or something where you can just cut away from the setup and leave the details for the next scene? I know what you're thinking- we put on the uniforms and just walk on by them, right?"
"Wha- I didn't-" started Naruto.
"Shit, that was your plan?" asked Sanji, "Can't say that sounds very smart."
"I'd rather just keep fighting my way through 'em," said Zoro.
Naruto was wounded. "What? No, that wasn't the plan," he lied, "Do you think I'm stupid?"
The others looked at him skeptically for a moment.
"Well, what was the plan then?" asked Usopp sarcastically, "Just throw a bunch of clones at the problem?" Naruto went to open his mouth, but was immediately interrupted, "Wait… wait, that might not actually be a bad idea…" Whirling in place, Usopp cast his gaze across the entire room, taking in even larger piles of unused uniforms. "Yeah… not a bad idea at all…"
Naruto glared at him. "Seriously? After all that about cutting sentences off mid-thought, you're just going to say that and not-"
-Five Minutes Later-
"Okay," muttered Sanji as they marched past hordes of alert marines, "I still can't tell whether this is genius or stupidity."
Naruto, Sanji, Zoro, and Usopp were moving in formation, hustling down corridor after corridor two abreast, all the while hidden among twenty other uniformed Naruto clones, each one with its hat pulled down to obscure his face. Usopp led the group, having stolen the most impressive looking uniform that had been available. Boy, was it impressive. A peacock would have looked at it and thought, 'well, maybe just for really special occasions.' As a group, they made for an imposing sight, and other marines frequently moved to the side as they passed, some even throwing confused salutes their way.
"Right... FACE!" called Usopp, directing them down a nearby T-junction as a group, two of the clones carefully shouldering Zoro into the correct orientation. Orders given, Usopp was quick to defend his plan to the rest of them. "Well, it's brilliant, isn't it? They're looking for three escaped fugitives on this ship right now, and maybe they'll be paying attention to people in groups of one or two, but what kind of nincompoop is going to be second-guessing a squadron of twenty-four Marines who look like they're going somewhere important? I gotta say, I truly am amazing! Left... FACE!"
The column turned once again.
"So do you actually know where we're going?" asked Sanji.
"Of-of course I do! We're going up to the deck, right? Right?" As Usopp spoke, the clones stopped Zoro from turning right. Usopp continued, "It's simple! We see stairs, we go up them! Then Naruto gets us over to where Luffy, Nami, and Chopper are."
"What's the plan to do that again?" asked Sanji, looking around for the original Naruto, then giving up and glaring at the nearest clone instead.
The Narutos all suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, I can run on water, so I thought I'd just make a bunch of clones and carry you across. None of you have Devil Fruits, so it should be pretty safe."
Sanji looked like he'd just kissed a goat. Zoro seemed more unpleasant than usual.
"Hey, I'm not thrilled with the idea either, alright?" Naruto said.
Sanji cursed. "Shit, I don't suppose there's any chance you can teach me to run on water in the next ten minutes, is there? What, you're gonna pick me up, bridal style and just- no, you know what? I'll just swim."
"Me too," added Zoro.
Usopp shook his head. "I'm fine with being carried, thank you very much. I'll be counting on you, Naruto," he said, then shouted, "Up... STAIRS!"
As one, the assembled group turned and marched up a nearby set of stairs, flattening more Marines to the walls as they went.
"'Up Stairs?'" muttered Sanji, seeming skeptical, "You sure that's real Marine lingo?"
"Hey, sue me, I'm doing my best."
The crew passed by hall after hall in the labyrinthian Marine vessel. Their random wanderings may or may not have been getting them closer to their destination, but they were at least getting higher up. Eventually, they shoved their way into a muster room and out through another exit, running them directly into a man whose muscles were stretching his uniform to problematic proportions. He filled the hallway like a plug, his arms pinned uncomfortably against his sides by the walls and his head bent slightly down as it scraped along the ceiling.
"Hey," the mountain of a man grumbled, "Do You Not Know You Are Supposed To Make Way?"
Usopp hadn't actually had to speak to anyone else so far, so this was something of a wrench in his plans. Never deterred, he drew upon his uniform's incredible gaudiness and assumed an imperious sneer. "Don't you get in our way, you horrible, wretched man. Do you have any idea who you're speaking to? Major Brigadier Triple Lieutenant Schtolteheim Reinbach IV on a surprise inspection tour, and I'll be dashed- dashed, I say- if I'm spoken down to like that! Now stand aside!"
The man stared at them stone-faced, pronouncing his words slowly and carefully, enunciating every consonant. He had a gruff voice, and his careful speech seemed to be holding back a rather nasty-sounding slur. It put one in mind of a ham-fisted man painstakingly assembling a house of cards.
"Why Do All Of Those Fellows With You Look The Same?"
"How DARE you ask me questions, you miserable worm, you! And as if you don't know the answer right away! Everyone knows that the people from Nin-Nin Island are the product of vicious inbreeding!"
All of the Naruto clones turned to glare at him in unison.
Meanwhile, a muffled voice wormed its way from behind the human-shaped hallway obstacle, and the man in front of them slowly rotated his head to listen to whoever was behind him. "Captain! They've just discovered a laundry room in D-section that's been raided!"
"Oh, Really?" grumbled the man. Slowly, he swiveled his massive neck back around, his neck clicking and his beady eyes fixing them with his shining stare.
"Shit! They're onto us! Cheese it!" shouted Usopp, confidence switching to cowardice in one moment, then he scrambled back into the muster room at high speed, clambering over several clones in his haste. Backing away, the Straw-Hats followed, only to find that each exit to the room was being rapidly covered by swarming Marines.
"Told you we should have just fought our way here," muttered Zoro.
The captain of the ship advanced into the room, each step shaking the bulkheads. Unfolding his massive frame, he spoke to them.
"Greetings, My Fine Prisoners. I Would Like To Thank You For Taking Such Good Care Of My Subordinates In And Around The Brig. In Fact, I Would Like To Convey The Fathomless Depths Of My Appreciation Personally." After he spoke, the man removed his coat, revealing a buttoned shirt and a chest and shoulders that were far wider across than most men were tall.
Zoro smirked. "You the boss of this ship?"
"Boss?" the man rumbled, "There Is Only One Boss Around, And He Is Not Currently Present. Besides, We Are Not Supposed To Call Him 'Boss'-" he added, using finger quotes with his meaty hands, "-Since We Had Our Change Of Circumstances. He Is The Commodore, And I Am A Captain. Speaking Of Which, Allow Me To Introduce Myself."
The Marine widened his stance, arms at his side in a gesture of supreme confidence.
"My Name Is Antonio Calamari Saldicci, Former 'Muscle' Of Flounders' Fishermen And Captain Of This Vessel." Finally, he smirked, something other than anger reaching his face, "You Can Call Me 'Tony The Sardine.'"
The Straw-Hats paused to take this in. Finally, Sanji spoke up.
"'The Sardine?' Not that I care to get all personal, but… with a name like 'Calamari' wouldn't 'The Squid' be a better choice?"
The atmosphere changed in one horrible instant. Tony's brows furrowed, casting his eyes in shadow. His teeth ground together and his neck strained so hard that his throbbing blood vessels stood out on his skin. One by one, his knuckles popped, the noise sounding like firecrackers.
"Sanji!" whispered Usopp, "Don't antagonize him! He's probably sensitive about his name or something!"
"Shit, I didn't know he'd get all worked up about it…"
Heavy breathing filled the room, and the Straw-Hats watched in horror as the man looked back up at them, murder in his bloodshot eyes and a slur on his words.
"Allow me to reiterate… 'dat is, I'm gonna say it once more for you's… My name's Antonio Calamari Saldicci, former Muscle of Flounders' Fishermen and Captain of 'dis vessel. You's guys can call me 'Tony the Squid.'"
"HE CHANGED IT?!" shouted Usopp.
"Wait, he likes my idea better? This guy's a loony," muttered Sanji.
"Now, my soon-to-be recaptured prisoners, it's time to begin da pummelin'."
The crew moved into combat positions, ready for when Tony would make the first move. But the man just stood there, a mountain of muscle blocking their path. With a sigh of impatience, Zoro moved to attack. His swords drawn, he dashed toward the man, only to dodge wildly to the side as Tony suddenly flexed his chest muscles, the shirt he was wearing tearing violently apart in a single instant. The abused buttons that had been holding his shirt together popped off with a sound more reminiscent of gunfire than of tailoring, and Zoro just barely avoided two of them, blocking the third with his sword. His grip shuddered from the impact, and he felt the vibrations all throughout his body.
Usopp looked behind them and saw that the flying buttons had torn holes through the bulkheads and were now completely out of sight. He gulped, then returned his eyes to the action.
With a small nod of respect, Tony the Squid rushed them, and the fight began for real.
-Ten Minutes Later-
-Above Deck-
"Wow, what a fight!" exclaimed Naruto as the Straw-Hats ran across the deck of the cruiser. "I don't think I've ever beaten up so many goons before! And when he was picking up my clones and chucking them back at us- like, holy shit!"
"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way," grumbled Sanji, "It was bad enough dealing with him and his Marines without having copies of your shitty ass flying around all over the place."
"Aw, he was nothing," boasted Usopp, "He wasn't anyone important. I bet he was, like, a side character or something. You know- just filler."
"Usopp, what the hell's gotten into you, recently?" asked Sanji. "You're freaking me out a bit."
"Hey, you know what I mean! If this was a story, I bet that fight wouldn't even have warranted any screen-time. Maybe their boss would, but him? No way!"
Shaking his head, Sanji dashed over to the side of the ship, scanning the night sky. "Look, there's the ship where Nami and the others have got to be! It's not so far. No problem for us to swim."
"I'll stick high and dry, if that's all the same to you two," said Usopp. He turned to Naruto. "Ready?"
"Yeah, just wait a sec," said Naruto, "I've got something I need to do."
Without any warning, Zoro jumped overboard.
"Shit!" cursed the long-nosed sniper, "Sanji! Make sure he doesn't get lost and end up back at Ninja Island or something!"
Muttering dire imprecations under his breath, Sanji jumped in after their swordsman.
"Naruto, whatever you're doing, make it quick!" called Usopp, nervously watching as several Marines on deck took notice of them.
Stepping out into an open area of the deck, Naruto focused, then brought both of his hands together.
[TAJUU KAGE-BUNSHIN NO JUTSU] - [MASS SHADOW CLONE TECHNIQUE]
The deck was now littered with hordes of Naruto clones. Usopp tried and failed to count them.
"Everyone!" shouted the original, "Man, you know how much I hate ending up as the real body sometimes..."
As Usopp watched the speech in disbelief, the clones laughed as one. Naruto continued.
"You guys always get to do the real fun stuff and I have to experience it second-hand. It's just not fair! Alright, guys, you know what we gotta do!"
The clone army shouted, raising their fists and cheering.
"Tear this place to pieces!" *cheer* "Kick 'em in the balls!" *cheer* "Make them regret ever taking me on!" *cheer*
"In short- Go! Wreck! Shit!"
"GOT IT, BOSS!" chorused the deck full of clones, already skirmishing with the scattered marines pouring in from the lower decks.
He turned back to Usopp, who was staring with his mouth hanging open.
"What?" asked Naruto.
"You guys are Bull...Shit. You know that, right?"
Naruto laughed. "I know, and I love it. Come on, let's get out of here."
Naruto ducked down, allowing Usopp to clamber on top, piggyback. Together, the two of them jumped off the deck, landing on the water below. The other ship was lit up in the night waters. They would be fighting from the moment they reached the other side.