Gildarts POV

Thankfully, no one saw us as I carried her back home. I knew I probably should have put her down, but having her pert little ass in my face was an irresistible sight. When we got to her front door, I reluctantly dropped her to her feet so that she could unlock the door. We went inside, and I unfastened my cloak, throwing it to her couch. It landed next to a travel bag that looked packed.

"Going somewhere?" I asked.

I saw hesitation flit across her face before she looked at the bag awkwardly.

"Um… I'm going on a job tomorrow," she said, trying to sound casual.

Last I heard, Natsu had mentioned something about all of them taking a break.

"Aren't you guys taking a break from jobs for a bit? I mean, that's what Natsu told me…" I felt weird asking. I didn't want it to sound like I was accusing her of lying.

"I'm not going with Natsu," she said, without elaboration.

"You're taking a solo mission?" My eyes widened in shock. I knew she was a talented wizard, but I didn't think she'd be taking solo missions.

"No, I'm not going alone…" she trailed off, looking very uncomfortable.

Things began clicking together. A mission without Natsu, her discomfort, the blush on her cheeks - she was going on a mission with Laxus. My jaw clenched and, involuntarily, my fingers curled into a fist at my side. My body trembled with barely contained jealous rage.

He's taking her away now? She's not his fucking property!

I was breathing heavily through my nose when I felt her soft hand on my bicep.

"Gildarts?" Her voice was small and tentative.

I forced myself to calm down, drawing in a few deep breaths. I turned to look at her, placing my hand over hers.

"I'm fine, darling. Sorry. Maybe tonight isn't the best night for me to be staying over. You'll need to be well rested for your mission," I said stiffly, trying my level best to sound as pleasant as possible, which, at this moment, wasn't very pleasant.

I wanted to be alone. I was jealous and angry and I wanted to be by myself as I calmed down.

I moved to the couch to pick up my cloak when her hand shot out and gripped the fabric. I looked down at her, and saw her own anger, simmering behind hurt eyes.

"That's not fair, Gildarts," she bit out.

"Not fair? I'm not being fair?" I barked out a short laugh. "No, baby girl, what's not fair is knowing that he is taking you away somewhere. What's not fair is knowing that, for the next few days, my girl is going to be getting pounded by some other guy's cock. Baby, I'm all for you not wanting to be exclusive. Believe me, this isn't about that. But it's not fucking fair when I have to hear about it. It's not fair when I have to see him kiss you in front of everyone else. It's not fucking fair that he gets to walk around with his arm around you, but with me, you let go of my arm before we walk into the guild together. It's not fair to feel like I'm your backup choice. It's not fair that when I am sitting at the bar, trying to drink in peace, I have to hear rumours about Laxus screwing my girl in his office. Fuck some random guy I'll never have to meet or know about, that's okay. But when you're fucking the man I have to make eye contact with every day, knowing that he had his dick in you the night before, now that's not fair." I was fucking exhausted. I collapsed heavily into her armchair, my face in my hands.

The room was quiet for several seconds, save for my ragged breathing.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Lucy's voice broke through the silence. She was kneeling on the ground, tears streaming down her face.

That's the second time you've made her cry, you fucking asshole.

As much as I hated to admit this, a part of me wanted to say yes. Just say yes, end this with her, and go back to living your life without these complications. Because she wasn't just a girl I was fucking. I cared for her. Deeply. And I knew she cared for me too. Which made it even shittier when Laxus was dragged into the picture. I couldn't keep doing this to myself, and doing this to her. This didn't work when all three people were simultaneously falling for each other.

Someone was getting hurt at the end of all of this, and for some reason, I had a sinking feeling it was going to be me.

But then I looked at her. Tears relentlessly flowed down her cheeks and her lower lip quivered, but she held my gaze. Even with a red nose and puffy eyes, she was still so beautiful. And she made my impending heartache seem worth it. I wish I was a stronger man. I wish I could walk away and save myself from pain, but I couldn't. I knew that if I walked out now, she wouldn't get off that floor, and she wouldn't stop crying. I couldn't bear the thought of her crying any more.

I slid down to the floor, still keeping my distance. "No, baby girl, I'm not breaking up with you," I said resignedly.

She crawled over to me until she was kneeling in front of me. "Are you sure? Gildarts, I need you to promise me you aren't breaking up with me," she was still crying, but her voice was serious. She held onto my hand tightly.

"Yes, Lucy, I promise I'm not breaking up with you." My voice sounded tired and dejected.

Lucy put her head in my lap, her arms around my waist, as sobs wracked her body. I gently stroked her hair, too emotionally exhausted to ask why she was still crying.

"I'm sorry, Gildarts. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, I promise," she sobbed into my lap.

"I know, baby. I know," I whispered, running my fingers through her blonde locks.

"You're not my backup choice. You're not. Gildarts, I love-"

"Don't, Lucy. Don't say it. Please," I begged. I couldn't hear those words. I couldn't have her telling me she loved me, because then I'd tell her I loved her, and it would hurt too much to admit that I was in love with a woman who I couldn't call mine.

She sat up and held my face in her hands.

"But I do, Gildarts. I do," she said firmly.

I hadn't been this emotionally drained in years.

"Please, Lucy," I whispered.

I stood up, freeing myself from her hold. I picked my cloak up off the ground and fastened it around me. I was in no mood for sex tonight. I was in no mood to even cuddle. I wanted to knock back several whiskeys and sit in my room, alone.

"Don't leave, Gildarts. Please," she begged, pushing herself off the floor.

"Lucy, I'm not breaking up with you. I promise," I reassured her tiredly.

"I know, but why are you going?" she asked, sniffling.

"I'm exhausted, darling. I… I can't do this, Lucy. I can't do feelings and complications and shit. But, for you, I'd do anything. You're going to break my heart, Lucy. I know you will. But I don't care. You're worth all the heartache," I stroked her cheek. A fresh set of tears were trickling down her face. "But tonight, I just need to be alone. I need to lick my wounds in peace. I'll see you when you're back, and I promise, I'll behave myself then. I hope you have a good time, baby," I tried to be as sincere as possible. I pulled her into a hug before kissing her lips. I tasted her tears as we kissed. We kissed deeply and she clung to me, silently begging me to stay. I extricated myself from her grasp and flashed her a weak smile before leaving her house.

Lucy POV

I fell back to the floor, crying uncontrollably. Why didn't he let me tell him that I loved him? Why did he say I'd break his heart? Why did he leave me? Why did it feel like he wasn't going to come back?

I curled up on the ground, shaking as sob after sob tore through me. How did this get so fucked up? It was supposed to be fun flings that I was having. It sure as hell didn't feel fun anymore. No, it hurt like a fucking bitch. I fucking loved Gildarts and when he looked at me with those tired eyes and spoke to me in that hopeless voice, it broke my heart. But the worst part was knowing that he was right. It wasn't fair, what I was doing. It wasn't fair to either of them. It was my fault that Gildarts was suffering. It was my fault his heart hurt. My tears didn't relent as broken sobs left my lips.

My crying was interrupted by a knock on the door. I pulled myself off the ground, drying my eyes as best as I could. It was probably a neighbour wanting to find out why there was loud crying coming from my house at this hour.

I pulled the door open, an apology ready at my lips, when I saw Gildarts standing there.

"I don't want to be alone," he blurted out.

"I don't want to be alone either," I confessed.

"My heart hurts," he said.

"My heart hurts too," I whispered.

"You're going to break my heart," he whispered.

"No. Never," I shook my head violently.

"You will. But tonight, it doesn't matter." He walked in and kissed me firmly.

"I need a whiskey, sweetheart," he laughed shakily as we walked to the kitchen.

I pulled out two glasses and poured us a drink each. He gulped his down in one sip before putting the glass back in front of me. I quickly poured him another that he downed as well.

"Okay, better," he hissed. He pushed his glass towards me again, and I poured him a third drink. This time, he clinked his glass against mine and took measured sips. We sat in silence as we sipped on our whiskeys.

"Tell me about the mission," Gildarts finally said, looking at me. He pushed himself away from the kitchen counter and moved to the living room, where he sat in the armchair. I followed him, but, for the first time, I was unsure if he wanted me on his lap or not. I stood in front of him, nervously rubbing the tip of my toe against the floor.

He looked at me, confused. "Sit, darling," he said, patting his lap. A wide smile broke out on my face and I skipped over to him, happily nestling into his lap. I sighed contentedly.

"Lucy," he called, tipping my face up to his. "We had a fight. It was intense. But now it's out in the open. Nothing between us changes, okay? You're always welcome to sit on my lap, and I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things. If I get butthurt about something, you need to remember, it's not your fault. It's my fault for being a selfish, jealous asshole. And baby girl," he paused to look deeply into my eyes. "I am so fucking sorry I made you cry. I am not a good enough man for you, and one day, you'll realise that. But until that day comes, I will be grateful that you are with me. I am so so sorry I made you cry. You can forgive me if you want to, but I won't forgive myself," he said seriously.

I cupped his cheek in my hand. "No, Gildarts, I should be asking for your forgiveness. You deserve a woman better than me, but I'm the selfish one who can't let you go." His face furrowed, wanting to dispute what we both knew to be true. I continued before he could say anything. "One day, I hope you realise how incredible you are, and I hope you realise how lucky I am to have you, and I hope you realise that you are too good for me. Because you are," I whispered. Gildarts opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but I quickly pressed my lips to his. I shook my head, silently begging him to not say anything.

"So, tell me about your mission?" he asked again after I released his lips.

"We don't have to…" I mumbled.

"No, I want to know. My girl is going on a job; I want her to be able to talk about it with me," he insisted.

My heart fluttered hearing him refer to me as "his girl". I looked at him hesitantly, not wanting to hurt him, but he gave me a nod of encouragement. So I explained the mission to him. I tried to make it sound more difficult than it was so that he wouldn't immediately realise this was more just a holiday for me and Laxus, but naturally, Gildarts saw through that.

"Sweetheart, your last mission was a vacation, now this one is a vacation. Keep this up and soon I'll be taking you on missions just to be able to make a holiday out of it," he scoffed goodnaturedly.

I smacked his arm before curling into his chest and nuzzling my face into his neck. I began lightly peppering his throat with kisses, my fingers trailing up his chest.

"Baby girl," he groaned, gently pushing me back. I looked at him, slightly hurt by his rejection.

"Can we not have sex tonight? I just want to hold you in my arms," he asked.

It stung a little, but I knew where he was coming from. I nodded, sliding off his lap and intertwining my fingers with his. I led him to my bedroom, where we both stripped down. We slipped under the covers, pressing our naked bodies together as we softly kissed. We didn't do anything beyond tender, gentle kisses, and eventually, we fell asleep, arms wrapped around one another.

A/N: So far, this has been my favourite chapter! And, I'm not gonna lie, I got kinda emotional writing Gildarts's monologue. A few people reviewed saying that they were worried I'd forgotten about Gildarts and was just making this a LaLu fic, considering he'd been absent for a few chapters. That was intentional, in a way, because I did want to really show how he kinda got the shitty end of the stick, in being aware of everything that's happening and all the dynamics, and having to kinda just suck it up. To everyone who was Team Laxus, I hope this chapter made you feel at least a little sympathetic towards old Gildarts.

Please leave me your reviews! I would love to know what you thought of this chapter!