If the Roles Were Reversed

by Glon Morski

I: Until he fell down the well and 500 years into the past, Inuyasha didn't believe in legends. His beliefs were challenged when he found himself in a world in which said legends are reality. Problem? He wants to leave that world behind, while it is unwilling to let him go. And so he begins a search for a substitute for a duty, aided by Kagome, his slef-proclaimed hanyo protector.

13. That Fateful Day Fifty Years Ago

OK, so far so good, looks like I can update once a month if I really want to. Let's see how I keep this up LOL

Anyway, you might have noticed, but this chapter is longer than any other before. Usually, I try to stay in the interval between 7000-10 000 words, so that the chapters are long enough to make up for the one month wait, but not overly so. I largely overstepped that boundary this time, but don't expect me to do that often (if ever again). Consider it my way if thanking you guys, not only for the continued support, but also for the fact that this fic was nominated Best AU/AR Fiction March 2012 by the Feudal Association!

Really, it's a great honor for me to think someone thinks this story as actually that good so thank you all again. And thank you for all the reviews as well, of course, hope you keep them coming :3

A thousand thanks to Amber for editing :3 Love you, girl :]

WARNING: There's NO KIKYO-BASHING in this chapter, or at least not intended. If you find any, please tell me so that I can get rid of it. I was trying to keep her as IC as I could, given the circumstance, but she's a really hard character to write, since she's one of the more complex ones. Note that by 'in character', I do NOT mean how she was at her debut in the series, but rather how she was towards the end and before her death.

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ANONYMOUS REVIEWER:

Guesswhat: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it so far, I'm glad to hear it. Yes, I know that in canon, Shippo was already there when Kikyo was resurrected, but I thought it better to introduce him later. Don't worry, though, I can give you a little spoiler: Shippo will appear in the story, as will Sango and Miroku and many other people you know from canon. Doesn't mean there aren't going to be a few OCs in here, either, though, but if there weren't any, I would die of boredom :3 Anyway, thanks for the review and I hope this chapter won't disappoint.

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Tracks for this chapter:

Final Fantasy X OST: To Zanarkand

SID:Natsukoi

Final Fantasy X OST: Truth Revealed

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Breakers:

XxX: change of scene

~ξ~: time-skip

実: Beginning/End of Flashback

Ю: Beginning/End of a story told by one of the character (the parts in bold between the stars are what the present them are saying as a small narrative)

Ж: Change of POV (mostly used within a story told by several characters)

[T] and [/T]: Beginning/End of soundtrack

Reminder: 'Inuyasha' written normally refers to Inuyasha, while written in cursive (cursive and bold in thoughts) refers to Kagome, the "Gentle Dog Demon". 'Hanyō' written normally means "half-demon", while written in cursive (cursive and bold in thoughts) it means "half-breed".

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Chapter 13 – That Fateful Day 50 Years Ago

Kagome stared with wide eyes at the miko sitting before her, who had now turned her head towards her, as if having heard her name being spoken aloud. The hanyō's blue-gray eyes met the brown doe-like ones of the fake human being and Kagome almost took a step back. It was Kikyo, there was no doubt about it.

Their eye-contact didn't last longer than a second, for just a small moment after Kikyo's name left Kagome's lips, a bright light suddenly shone from the ground, right below the priestess in question. It looked almost like some kind of portal had opened, a portal to another dimension, and from within, orbs of light started to float towards the sky, leaving Kagome to wonder what was going on while Urasue started to laugh.

"What the Hell…?" Kagome whispered to herself as she watched the beautiful yet terrifying light-show as even more light shot towards the sky as the priestess slowly stood, her serene and calm eyes following the lights as well. Her long, black hair was starting to lift upwards, as if the portal was also letting a strong gust pass, almost like it was that wind that was pushing the lights through the gate.

"To think it would be that easy," Urasue laughed quietly before turning to the hanyō-turned-human, her big eyes having a glint of glee in them that Kagome definitely didn't like. "It was you. The second you said her name, it was like a dam has broken. Now, she shall walk the earth once again!" the ogre screamed, delight obvious in her voice as Kagome's eyes widened and she turned rapidly to stare back at where the soon-to-be revived priestess stood.

'No… No way…' Kagome thought as she continued to watch the horrific spell continue its work. That was all she could do: stand by and watch. What an irony.

She came here hoping to stop the resurrection. She came because she wanted to make sure Kikyo wouldn't suffer. Yet she ended up achieving the exact opposite of what she wanted. It was that realization, the realization that in the end she'd be the one to blame for Kikyo's suffering until she died again, that made the now much more emotional girl slowly sink to her knees as her grip on Kikyo's bow loosened. The barrier flicked slightly then vanished, leaving the young half-demon open to attack. But she didn't notice; her mind was elsewhere.

[T]

The wind from the portal had picked up by then, slowly lifting the clay body into the air before the lights changed their trajectory of flight and practically slammed into it, disappearing inside like water absorbed by a sponge. Soon, all the lights, all the parts that made Kikyo's soul her own were within that vessel, which was then lowered to the ground and deposited on its feet in the exact same spot it had been lifted from, the portal having closed already.

The natural breeze was playing with that body now, moving her hair and clothes. Her red hakama moved lightly in the breeze, as did the sleeves of her white chihaya(1). Her hair also flowed freely in the wind, but never fell into her face. Yet now, she looked different than just a second ago. Now it wasn't just a puppet that needed strings. She looked actually alive.

Kagome could only stare, speechless. The sight before her was one she knew very well. She had seen Kikyo many times just as she saw her now, and just like any other time when she did, for some odd reason, she could not tear her eyes away. But then, the girl turned to face her and the ogre, breaking the spell she had on Kagome partially.

"Kikyo?" Kagome asked in a mere whisper, her eyes still wide. For the first time as she gazed at the priestess, she did not know what to expect. It was Kikyo after all… and yet it wasn't. She clenched her fists as sudden anger grew up within her, making her stand and turn to the demon responsible for this whole mess, snarling amazingly considering she was human at the moment.

"You did this!" she yelled angrily, sizing Urasue up and down with angry, gray eyes. Oh, how she wished the sun would go down already. Then she could easily rip the thing in front of her apart and give it the death it deserved. Slow and painful. "You dared to use Kikyo's bones…"

"Exactly!" Urasue interrupted her, laughing, her eyes never leaving her newest creation. A creation she was without a doubt proud of, which made Kagome even madder. "I have used my powers to turn Kikyo's remains into flesh and blood. You could say I am her birth mother. Kikyo will do anything I ask of her."

The smile she said it with only made Kagome feel sicker than the words alone would have. It were those words that also made her feeble control of her emotions snap entirely and in the next second, she was aiming an arrow at the presumably unsuspecting demon. Had she been in the right state of mind, Kagome would have known that Urasue staying so calm was fishy and that she should be careful. But as things were, she could not think straight, her anger having taken a hold of her like it hadn't in a very long while.

"Birth mother my ass! Don't you dare degrade Kikyo like that!" she yelled as she released the projectile. Urasue dodged easily enough, however, despite the small distance between them, and since the arrow wasn't fueled by any spiritual power like it weirdly was whenever Inuyasha was near, it hadn't done any damage.

"You were quite close with Kikyo, weren't you. You had to be if your voice was enough to call her back," the ogre mused to herself, though she had yet to look at the enraged Kagome.

"Don't you talk like you know her!" Kagome snapped, referring to Urasue's free use of Kikyo's first name more than anything as she notched another arrow, but she was completely ignored.

"How it would feel then, if you had to fight one of the people closest to you, I wonder."

"What?" The anger suddenly left, only to be replaced by dread. Kagome definitely didn't like the glint in the witch's eyes as she said that. 'Kikyo will do anything I ask of her, that's what she said… she couldn't mean…' Kagome thought frantically as she quickly turned back to where the now resurrected priestess stood. Kikyo had yet to utter a sound, and for the moment, she seemed to be more preoccupied with examining her hands than what was happening around her. What the priestess was thinking however, or if she was thinking anything at all, was a mystery.

"Now, Kikyo, use your powers and rid us of this bothersome… oh, wait, that wouldn't work on a human, would it now… huh?"

Kagome watched with fascination as Kikyo slowly looked up when Urasue started talking to her. Then, ever so slowly, the resurrected priestess started walking towards the ranting demon, apparently not having heard of the order she had been given. 'Didn't Urasue say she had complete control of Kikyo now? If so, then… why didn't Kikyo…' Kagome didn't even finish that thought. She would never think the real Kikyo capable of doing such a thing. Then again, she did do it before – it was the reason Kagome had spent fifty years asleep.

She shook her head. That wasn't right. Something had been going on back then, Kikyo would never have done that without a good reason, of that she was sure. She had to keep in mind, however, that everything pointed to this not being Kikyo, or at the very least, not the Kikyo she once knew.

At Urasue's surprised grunt, Kagome was brought out of her thoughts as she focused once again on what was happening in front of her. Kikyo was now directly in front of the ogre, her hands on the witch's arms, before the priestess slowly sank to her knees as if the few steps had drained her energy. And in the next second, a small explosion of electric blue forced Urasue away from the priestess she resurrected, although it was too late by then and after only taking a few steps, the demon slowly turned to dust, Kikyo's spiritual energy having burnt her to a crisp upon contact.

The priestess didn't move from her spot after frying the demon, staying motionlessly where she knelt, head bent down and staring at the ground. Recovering from her surprise, and the overall emotional rollercoaster she was being subjected to today, Kagome lowered her bow and took a deep breath to regain control of her emotions as she slowly approached the miko.

"Kikyo?" she asked tentatively as she approached. She stopped when the woman before her responded to her call, slowly raising her head and turning it to look at the other person present. Brown doe-like eyes on a pale face met once again the grey-blue orbs of the now-human half-demon. This time, however, they weren't the eyes of a pretty doll, nor were they empty like the first time Kagome glanced into them just a few short minutes before. Now, there was light within them, as well as a few emotions… although these were not emotions Kagome was used to finding within those orbs. Truthfully, she wasn't used to seeing much emotion within them at all. Kikyo was always guarded and rarely showed what she was feeling… just like herself.

"Kagome," the young woman whispered in a tone that implied she had a hard time believing what she was seeing. "You are human… you're awake," if she had had any doubts that this was Kikyo, they would be gone now. It was something Kikyo would do, point out that she wasn't a hanyō. She did almost every time she saw her on that day.

"Yeah…" the young half-demon answered to both questions as she took another step towards the still unmoving priestess, wondering what to do. Part of her wanted to be angry. Part of her wanted to ask for an explanation. Yet another part of her was telling her to be happy about the reunion, and yet another was telling her to bow down and apologize for what she caused. Rarely did she experience such turmoil, so she just stood there, uncertain and on edge. She didn't know what to expect of Kikyo now, either, and it was not a consoling thought.

"You have broken free of my spell then… I am glad," Kikyo said as she slowly stood, to which Kagome snorted.

"I didn't break free of your spell, Kikyo, I had someone else break it. Your spells are too strong for most demons to break. Hell, I believe even my dear half-brother, would have had a hard time, much less a hanyō like myself," she said. Kikyo raised a delicate brow.

"Your half-brother?" she inquired gently and Kagomle sighed.

"Full Inu-yōkai, a Demon Lord in rank and hates my guts. You haven't met him as far as I know and it's something I'm glad about, although so long as you don't stand in his way, he shouldn't even spare you a glance, no matter how strong you are. He's known to hate humans," she said lightly, relaxing somewhat. This was what she was used to; just calm conversations about anything and everything, although more often than not, it was about nothing at all. It made her remember how things used to be and Kagome found herself longing for those days again. Those days when she had somewhere to belong… when she had someone she considered a sister.

Kikyo actually laughed slightly at her description of Sesshōmaru, but by the time this registered in Kagome's jumbled mind and she actually glanced back at the resurrected miko, all traces of a smile were already erased from her face, leaving only the calm mask Kagome knew well.

"I see," she commented easily before turning away and walking a few steps away.

"Kikyo…" Kagome called her, but the miko's voice cut short any words she might have wanted to say.

"The most important thing is, someone has broken my spell on you and allowed you to roam free once again. My mistake has thus been corrected. Now all that is left is for me to repent," Kikyo said calmly. Kagome narrowed her eyes.

"Repent?" she repeated confused, her body tensing. She did not like the way Kikyo had said that.

"What I have done is a sin that does not deserve to be forgiven. Therefore, I shall not ask for forgiveness. I am one of the dead, so I do not belong here, either. I shall descend to the realm of the dead… to yomi(2), and repent there for what I have done. I will not shy from my fate," the undead miko said calmly, her brown, serene eyes staring into the sky even as a portal opened yet again below her feet. It was not the same portal as before however. The first one was made of white light. It looked warm, inviting, gentle… not at all like the portal that presented itself now. A portal that undoubtedly led only into chaos. A portal that was now dragging the apparently-willing Kikyo down rather easily. Dragging her to her death… to the yomi…

"Kikyo!" Kagome yelled as she sprang forward and grabbed the priestesses arm. It did little to help, though, and all Kagome actually succeeded in doing was dragging herself down as well. But she didn't care. All she cared about was stopping Kikyo from the greatest mistake she had ever committed, for no matter what the priestess said and no matter what had happened between the two of them fifty years ago, Kikyo was too pure to be forced to the yomi. It wasn't a fate she deserved, so Kagome would do anything in her power to stop her. If she died trying and got dragged to the yomi along with the undead miko… then so be it.

'I don't know what exactly happened that day. I don't know why you sealed me to the tree. It's because of that lack of knowledge that part of me still holds a grudge even though I wish I could forgive. But if there's one thing I know, it's that Kikyo doesn't deserve to die. Not like this. So I can't, and I won't let her kill herself like that!'

These were the thoughts that passed briefly through Kagome's mind as she reached for Kikyo, intent on pulling her out of the portal she had opened or descending into the realm of the dead with her.

"What are you doing, Kagome! Do you wish to die? Let me go!" Kikyo screamed, although not in anger. It looked more like she was afraid. Afraid of causing someone else to die. That was typical Kikyo and it was something the two of them shared. The fierce desire to protect others before protecting themselves. Now, Kikyo would see just how alike they were, Kagome figured as she tightened her grip.

"No, I won't! I won't let you go! I won't let you descend into that realm!" the Inuyasha yelled right back, tugging at Kikyo's sleeve as she tried to pull both of them out of the portal, though to no avail.

"Let me go, Kagome! What I've can only be repented for in yomi, it can't be forgiven…"

"I'll be the judge of that!" Kagome yelled right back, interrupting Kikyo and making her eyes go wide. "I know you're talking about what happened that day. And true, I don't know why you did what you did, but I know you must have had a valid reason for it, so I know you don't deserve to go to yomi! I won't let you go there without a fight, Kikyo, and if it's a fight I can't win… then I'll just go with you, whether you like it or not!"

The second the words were out of her mouth, the pulling sensation suddenly disappeared, making Kagome fall backwards as she was still pulling Kikyo back. The two women stumbled a few steps and Kagome fell to the ground in the small crater that the portal had formed. The portal itself, however, was nowhere to be found.

[/T]

"Why would you do that?" Kikyo asked calmly as she slowly knelt in front of the half-demon. "Why would you wish to descent to the yomi with me when you're one if the living?"

"Why do you want to go there? How did you even come to the idea of going? I thought yomi was an ancient belief in the Shinto religion, one that was forgotten due to the Buddhists' teaching about the afterlife," Kagome replied with a raised eyebrow, not bothering to answer Kikyo's question. She had yelled her answer out before, anyway. Kikyo sighed.

"Old beliefs are harder to get rid of than you might think, Kagome. That belief was always somewhere deep down. After all, even the Buddhists say that in the afterlife, depending on the life we've lived, before we are reincarnated, our soul finds either salvation or punishment. My punishment shall be found in the yomi," it was amazing how calm she was being, and no matter how much Kagome might have denied it, it scared her, despite the fact that this was still the same Kikyo she remembered, unmoved on the outside no matter what was happening.

"I think I should know how hard it is to get rid of old beliefs, trust me," the young half-demon muttered darkly under her breath, although the question of whether Kikyo had heard her or not remained unanswered. "What did you do, though? What could you possibly have done to deserve such a fate?" she asked angrily. Kikyo whirled around, pinning Kagome down with the first angry glare the young half-demon had ever seen on the miko's face.

"How can you still ask me that, Kagome? How can you ask me that when you're the one I committed this sin against?" she asked, louder than she had been speaking before. She was getting angry and for some reason, Kagome was glad she did. It meant her mask was slipping once again, like it had sometimes in the past. It showed even more that this was still the Kikyo she remembered, still the pure miko she believed in, still the sister she had been sure could never truly kill her.

"I know you pinned me to the Goshinboku," Kagome said softly as she pulled her legs closer to her body, trying to find a more comfortable position, giving Kikyo a sign to sit down beside her. "I know you put me into what was supposed to be eternal slumber, rather close to death I believe," she continued when the priestess sat down across from her. "I know from my perspective, it looked like you didn't have a reason to do it. It looked like…" she hesitated. The words were on the end of her tongue, yet there was something stopping her from saying them. There was always something stopping her from saying the most important things, even to Kikyo, one of the people she had been the closest with in her entire life. The hanyō sighed as she gathered her wits. Whether she liked it or not, these words needed to be out in the open. Kikyo needed to hear them.

"I thought you were betraying me. Betraying the trust I put in you," she finally said quietly, but the sharp intake of breath suggested Kikyo had still heard it. Kagome looked up to stare straight into Kikyo's kind eyes as she continued. "I trusted you and you betrayed that trust, that's what it looked like and that's why part of me is still mad. But…" Kagome broke off again, her shoulders sagging as she looked down to her knees again as she tried to control her emotions. It was always harder when she was human, but even more so given the situation she found herself in. A situation where such complex and extreme feelings were involved, the resulting emotional rollercoaster that was starting to tire her out. She wasn't used to dealing with such an emotional onslaught.

"I know all that, but I don't know your side of the story," she finally whispered. "I know you, or at least I'd like to think that I do. I think I know you enough to know that you wouldn't do such a thing without a good reason for it. That's why another part of me longs to forgive you. I only need to know what happened. That's all I ask."

"Knowing wouldn't change anything," Kikyo replied forlornly, making Kagome's head snap up as she stared at the resurrected priestess. "There isn't anything to tell, either, for there is no reason that could possibly explain my actions. What drove me to do what I did does not matter. What matters is what I did, and no amount of explaining can change the wrong I did."

"But what did you do?" the Inuyasha asked, frustrated. "What do you think you've done that can only be repented for in the yomi?"

"I took an innocent life!" Kikyo snapped back, although it was not anger that now shone in her eyes. Instead, what Kagome saw there was deep sadness and regret that made her own heart quiver. Kikyo was killing herself over it, she was dying inside because of it and unknowingly also made Kagome suffer, because the hanyō could never bear to see Kikyo hurt.

"I'm not dead, am I? You didn't kill me, Kikyo, you put me to sleep! That's not the same!"

"But once I died, there was little chance of anyone ever breaking the seal. Once I died, chances were you would never be freed, you would never wake up. Your sleep would have been eternal, Kagome, and that's the same as death. I might as well have killed you… what I did was even worse."

"So now that you've been brought back to life and you're sure I'm awake and alive, you'll just descend to the yomi to repent for that one mistake?" Kagome asked with wide eyes, hanging her head once again when Kikyo nodded. She sighed. "And what do you think that will do to me?" she asked quietly, finally deciding to have her emotions reign her actions for once. If she couldn't get through to Kikyo in a calm and collected manner, then maybe the emotional approach would work better. After all, the resurrected priestess herself was being more emotional right now than Kagome ever remembered seeing her, except on very, very few occasions.

"What do you mean, Kagome?" Kikyo asked softly, earning herself an empty laugh.

"You say you want to go to the yomi to repent for the sin of taking an innocent life… the sin of killing me. But I'm alive, awake and well, right here in front of you. If I just watch you descend to the yomi without doing anything… what do you think that'll be like? If I did that, then I could have just as well have killed you myself because if I just let you die, that'll be what I'll be doing. You will die because of me and whether I actually lift a finger to make you do it or not, it won't change the fact that it'll be me who'll ultimately kill you," the temporarily human girl said quietly without looking up. If she had, she would have seen the impact her words had on the priestess in front of her. She would have seen how her brown eyes widened and filled with dread, as she obviously had never thought her descend to yomi by her own will could ever be understood like that.

"That's not true, Kagome," Kikyo said calmly, soothingly as she came forward and rested her hands on Kagome's arms, like she had done so often in the past when she was consoling her little sister. "It's not true and you know it. It would never be your fault and no one would blame you…"

"I would blame me, just like you're blaming yourself right now!" Kagome interrupted her. "It doesn't matter what you say about it, it won't change the fact that you would die because of me. Hell, the first time around you died because of me, too, and it was also because of me that you were even brought back!

"I came here because I wanted to stop your resurrection. I came because I thought that if you were calling me when that witch's spell started to call your soul from the dead, it meant you wanted me to help, to stop the witch from resurrecting you, to prevent you from getting to live and to suffer only to die again… But… I ended up achieving the exact opposite… like usual. I guess I'm only good at hurting those I care about most, and this time is no exception. It's because of me that you were suffering then, it's because of me that you're suffering now… and for that, I'm sorry," Kagome whispered, not looking up at the priestess whose trust she had failed. It wasn't the first time, either. Whenever it mattered the most she always screwed up. It had been the same fifty years ago, it was the same with Kogarashi… it had been the same with her mother, too. She just couldn't do the right thing whenever it truly mattered.

"Kagome…" Kikyo said softly, most likely at a loss for words. Finally, she sighed before smiling softly. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was. So don't blame yourself."

"If it wasn't mine, and it wasn't yours - and don't you dare contradict me because it wasn't your fault, either, I'm rather sure of that," she added swiftly when Kikyo opened her mouth to object. "If it was neither of us who was at fault… then who is?"

"Kagome! Kagome!" a frantic, male voice and the sound of horse hooves broke the silence that fell between the two women, making both of them look up and stand up to see who was interrupting them.

Inuyasha and Kaede had finally arrived at where they suspected Urasue was. They had seen the bright light, so they figured Urasue must have started extracting Kagome's soul, which only made them go faster and although the light had long since faded, Inuyasha was fervently hoping they weren't too late. They couldn't be too late. Kagome couldn't be dead!

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled again, his eyes scanning fervently the suspiciously empty site.

"I'm over here, idiot," her voice called from behind him, although he couldn't help but notice that it was missing the usual bite when she addressed him. She sounded sad and tired, both of which made Inuyasha feel something weird shift in his stomach. The sound of her voice… he never wanted to hear her talking like that again. It just wasn't right.

Turning around, Inuyasha dismounted his horse, as did Kaede behind him, his gaze falling at the small crater and the two women inside of it, something telling him that he did not want to know just how the crater came to exist there. When his eyes landed on the two women inside the crater, however, he froze, not only because of the almost scary resemblance they had to each other, but also because of the look on Kagome's face. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was about to cry.

Ignoring his stare, Kagome easily lifted herself out of the evidence of Kikyo's suicide-attempt, if she really could consider it suicide, and turned around to help the priestess out. She was surprised when Kikyo actually accepted the help, however, since usually she would have given her a look that clearly stated she didn't need it and would have climbed out on her own. Kagome decided not to dwell on it.

When the silence stretched for too long, Kagome finally cleared her throat, finding it necessary to say something, anything at all. The silence which had been so calming before now seemed much too strained for her liking.

"Inuyasha, that's Kikyo," she said to the priest before turning to the resurrected miko. "And Kikyo, that's Inuyasha. He's the one who freed me from your spell," she said. Kikyo didn't reply immediately, however, her gaze kept steadily on the kannushi before her, making Inuyasha shift a little under her penetrating gaze.

"What?" he finally barked defensively, but Kikyo didn't even flinch.

"He has the Shikon no Tama," the resurrected priestess finally said calmly, although a bit of surprise was distinguishable in her voice.

"He has had it since he came here. He protects it, like you protected it before, Kikyo-onee-sama," Kaede spoke up. Kikyo's head turned sharply towards her when she heard the familiar way of address and her eyes widened when they met the figure of the older miko. She had no doubt who was standing before her, however.

"Kaede?" she questioned, to which Kaede only replied with a kind smile.

"Aye, Kikyo-onee-sama, it is me. Although I would have preferred our reunion to be in far better circumstances," the older miko replied, making Inuyasha snort as he crossed his arms over his chest. For some reason, knowing he was looking at what should be all rights be a dead body, standing before him and apparently alive was making shivers run down his spine. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

"What other circumstances could there be? She's dead," he said quietly, but alas, not quietly enough.

"Shut up, Inuyasha," Kagome snapped angrily, finally snapping out of the weird mood she was in when he arrived at the clearing. Inuyasha had to admit he was glad. He definitely preferred it when she was angry rather than that weird mood she had been in a second ago.

Kikyo didn't seem to notice the small exchange, however, as she turned once again to look at Kagome before laying a hand on her shoulder to gain her attention. When brown met with blue-gray once again, only two words left the miko's mouth.

"How long?" she asked. Kagome's eyes lowered to the ground. Of course, she understood the question, how could she not? There was really only one thing Kikyo could possibly be talking about.

"Fifty years," she replied quietly. "It all lies fifty years in the past… just like you, I have been asleep those fifty years. He woke me up but a moon's cycle ago, maybe a little more."

"Fifty years," Kikyo repeated as she let go of Kagome's arm and took a step back. Looking back up, Kagome searched her eyes and felt her previous mood return full force. Kikyo's eyes were just so full of guilt, of regret and of pain that it made Kagome want to cry all over again. Forcing herself to keep at least a feeble control of her emotions, Kagome reached out and grasped Kikyo's hand before the undead priestess could retreat any further.

"Please, Kikyo," she said softly, trying her best to keep eye-contact with the priestess no matter how much she wanted to look away. "Please tell me what happened that day. Tell me what happened to you… what happened to us."

"I already told you, Kagome, even if I told you, it wouldn't change anything," Kikyo replied, although her voice lacked the self-assuredness it held before.

"It could change everything, Kikyo-onee-sama," Kaede replied.

"No, it would not, Kaede. It would not change the fact that I committed one of the greatest tsumi(3) any human can commit."

"But there are no tsumi that cannot be purged. You said so yourself to many people, Kikyo, why should it be any different for you? If you feel that bad about it, if you really can't forgive yourself, then just purify yourself of it and let it go," Kagome pleaded, but not for the first time when it came to Kikyo, she felt like she was trying to talk to a boulder or a stone wall.

"To do good is to be pure. To do evil is to be impure. I committed evil of the worst kind, there's no Harae that could purify me of it. Shubatsu(4) or other, what I've done cannot be purified. I am forever impure," Kikyo said, making Kagome clench her fists. She was getting angry.

"You forget that to admit a fault is the beginning of righteousness," she finally said. "And all the time, you keep saying that what you did was wrong and that you shouldn't have done that. You're already purifying yourself of it, Kikyo, why won't you just let it go? You keep saying what you did cannot be forgiven. Well then, tell me what exactly you did so that I can tell you if I think I can forgive you or not."

Inuyasha watched the exchange from the sidelines, his brows furrowed. The things Kikyo and Kagome were saying… these phrases… he had a feeling he heard them somewhere before, but he couldn't for the life of him remember when and where. 'To do good is to be pure. To do evil is to be impure. To admit a fault is the beginning of righteousness… Where had I heard that before?' the young kannushi wondered, while Kikyo and Kagome continued to… well, argue, while Kaede only kept observing them.

"Even if you forgive me, my sin will not be forgiven. We all know that retribution for good or ill is as sure as the shadow after substance. It is no different in my case, and so I shall pay for my sins without complaint."

'Retribution for good or ill is as sure as the shadow after substance… I heard that one somewhere before, too,' Inuyasha pinched his nose. Why it seemed so important to him at that very moment to remember where had heard those phrases before, he didn't know, but whatever the reason, it was frustrating that he couldn't remember it. Especially since because of it, he was focusing less on the rest of the conversation, so he hardly understood what the miko and the momentarily-human hanyō were talking about.

"At the very least, when you say you can't forgive yourself, you're being sincere," Kagome said with a smile as another saying entered her mind. One she was sure Kikyo would not be able to counter. "And where you have sincerity, there also is virtue. Sincerity is a witness to truth. Sincerity is the mother of knowledge. Sincerity is a single virtue that binds Divinity and man in one."(5)

Kikyo's shoulders sagged and she heaved a sigh, but still, a small smile was gracing her lips.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" she asked and Kagome actually smiled back at her for the first time since the whole fiasco started.

"I could ask you the same thing. Why are you so intent on making me hate you and make sure I don't forgive you when I'm telling you I want to forgive? I thought you knew I was never really fond of hatred," she said. Kikyo's smile didn't fade, although it did become sadder at Kagome's words, which the Inuyasha regretted immediately after letting them leave her mouth. Kikyo didn't give her a chance to apologize for her words as she turned and started walking towards the forest Inuyasha and Kaede had emerged from.

"Come then, Kagome, walk with me. I shall tell you what happened that day, if you wish to know so badly why I committed that unforgivable sin," she said calmly as she started walking. Kagome huffed.

"I bet you it's not as unforgivable as you think," she muttered under her breath and followed the priestess. Snapping out of his stupor, Inuyasha moved to follow them as well, but was stopped by Kaede who shook her head negatively. She didn't say a word, but Inuyasha understood what she meant. This was between Kagome and Kikyo, so he should let them handle it alone. Sighing in annoyance Inuyasha sat down on the ground next to the crater, intent on at least waiting for the two of them to get back. He'd try to get the story out of Kagome later, if only because he knew it had to do with the Shikon in some way or another, so he kind of deserved to know what could possibly be his fate as well.

At least that's what he'd told himself, as it couldn't be that he was just a bit curious and wanting to find out more about Kagome and her past.

XxX

Kagome and Kikyo walked slowly through the forest in companionable silence. The young half-demon wasn't going to press Kikyo into talking, deciding instead to enjoy the silence while it lasted. Walking together like that… it reminded her of the old days.

They had walked quite the distance away from Kaede and Inuyasha when they arrived at a small clearing. There was a rock formation in the middle of it, perfect to just sit down and talk, as if it had been placed there for no other purpose than this. The two girls walked over to the rocks and sat down, not facing each other but staring towards the forest instead. The silence stretched for a while before Kikyo spoke up.

"I'll ask you to tell me exactly what happened on your end as well. Kaede didn't really have the time for a full accounting at the time," she said calmly, her mask once again in place and hiding any emotions she might be feeling.

"Sure thing," Kagome replied. It wasn't like there was much to tell, anyway. She had a feeling Kikyo's story would be longer than hers. The resurrected miko sighed once before beginning her tale.

Ю

*It had started like a normal day. I never expected it would end as it did. You had been away back then, you went to meet him, I think, and you were supposed to return that day. I was running out of herbs, so I went into the forest to gather some. It happened on my way back to the village.*

Kikyo walked slowly towards her village, a basket filled to the brim with medical herbs held tightly, yet gently in her hands. She was going to need them, in case Kaede's eye got suddenly worse. It was more than certain, however, that no matter what she did, her little sister would never see out of that eye again. Kikyo sighed.

If she had been more careful, then maybe she could have avoided it. She should have been able to protect her sister. She had never before felt like this much of a failure. Could it really be that Tsubaki was right? Could she really be getting weaker?

The young miko shook her head to rid herself of those negative thoughts. She shouldn't think like that. She was strong enough to protect the Shikon no Tama, she had managed to protect it and her village up until now, there was no reason she shouldn't be able to continue doing it.

Still, it wasn't until a few days back that she noticed just how much Kagome was helping her out. The young half-demon she met only five years ago was always trying to help and it was only that one time when she was away that Kikyo really noticed how much she had started relying on her. And it wasn't good.

It didn't have much to do with the fact that Kagome was a hanyō, really. If anything, it only made them more alike, even if deep down, Kikyo had to admit that she feared what might happen should Kagome somehow become a full demon, through the Jewel or by other means. Of course, Kagome herself didn't seem to wish for it, but it didn't change the fact that Kikyo still thought about it. Kagome's demon part had always somewhat caused her to be somewhat wary of the half-demon, no matter how much she told herself that the Inuyasha had proven time and time again that she could be trusted. And of course, she did trust her… she was just – afraid, probably, of what could happen should Kagome's human mind lose control of her demon mind.

Kikyo wasn't quite sure if that was possible, she didn't even know if Kagome's mind could really be divided like that, but her own thoughts of it, fueled by her teachings, were making her a little wary, no matter how ridiculous she herself found these feelings to be. Still, it was hard to forget something that had been pumped into your head ever since you were born.

Kagome was slowly starting to help her rise above those teachings, too. She had showed her that not all demons are evil, that having demon blood didn't necessarily make you impure. She had saved her, her sister and the village more than once, she had vowed to help her keep the Jewel safe and was so far keeping her promise. She was opening Kikyo's eyes and showing her that the family you were born into didn't matter, what mattered was how you lived your life. It was something that Kikyo had actually almost laughed at once she realized that. After all, hadn't she been taught that all humans are born pure and that only their actions in life can lead to them becoming evil and impure? But why had she never questioned why it seemingly applied to humans only?

Kikyo shook her head to clear her mind. Yes, Kagome was a great help, a help and a companion she really appreciated, despite their rough start, but she also had her own life. Kikyo couldn't chain her down to this one village and demand her continuous presence in the village, the hanyō needed her own freedom as well. Kikyo couldn't solely rely on her help, she didn't want to be a burden to her. She was a miko and she was strong enough to look out for herself and those under her protection.

'Knowing Kagome, she'll blame herself, too, once she learns what happened to Kaede. She'll blame herself for not being there to help,' Kikyo thought, her heart divided between being happy to know that her friend, a friend she never suspected she'd find in a hanyō, cared so much, and being sad that she would try to take the blame on her own shoulders. She was always like that, taking the blame on herself even for things she didn't have any control over. Another sigh escaped Kikyo's lips. Once Kagome was back and found out about Kaede's eye, it would be very hard to make her accept the fact that she wasn't to blame. She couldn't be with them all the time, after all. She was too much of a free spirit for that.

Suddenly, both Kikyo's thoughts and movements stopped as she concentrated on her surroundings once again, berating herself for spacing out like that. She had thought she had heard something behind her, a rustle and a small laugh, but it seemed nothing was amiss. She was about to start walking once again, when she felt strong youki right behind her, making her freeze for not even a second in surprise. But it was enough for the demon.

*It happened so fast… I didn't expect it. I was careless and left myself open to attack, and when one came, I was so surprised that I had no time to react.*

Sudden pain ripped through her right shoulder, easily tearing through both muscle and bone. The basket of herbs fell from her hands as the miko herself tumbled to the ground, the Shikon no Tama she had oddly taken with her (as usually it was at the shrine in her village, protected by sutra and candles with strong smells to keep the yōkai away) fell from around her neck and landed in the grass only a little ways away. Kikyo didn't know what kind of demon struck her down and she didn't really care, but she knew one thing. She wouldn't let it have the Jewel. She couldn't let it have the Jewel, it was out of the question. But as she reached for the gem that lay so close to her, yet so far away, the culprit who struck her stomped her foot on Kikyo's hand and laughed.

It was a laugh Kikyo knew, although it was much more sinister than any other time she had heard it. Dread almost overwhelming her, the young miko raised her brown eyes up to the person who struck her, and her entire body became completely rigid when she saw the familiar face of the friend she had just been thinking about.

*She looked exactly like you. And she acted exactly how I feared your demon might act if it were let lose, uncontrolled by your human mind and heart. I had thought that was what had happened… but in my mind, even that was no excuse for what I thought was complete and utter betrayal.*

There was no doubt about it. The silver hair, the puppy ears at the top of her head, the red clothing made of the fur of the fire rat… it could only be her. There was absolutely no doubt. But why? Why would she do it? Kikyo couldn't understand, it made no sense. But Kagome was right before her and if the blood on her hands was anything to go by, she had to have been the one to deal her the wound.

"Inuyasha…?" Kikyo asked, using for the first time in a long while Kagome's title instead of her given name without even realizing it. A laugh was her response.

"Aaahh, you have no idea how long I have waited for this. For the one moment when you would finally drop your guard," the half-demon-girl said with a smirk as she bent down to pick up the Jewel Kikyo had been desperately reaching for. "I knew I couldn't defeat you in a fight. You're the great Kikyo, after all. I had to go another way about it. Never expected it to work that well, even if it did take some time. You really were stupid, you know that?" she continued as she stared at the gem. Then she laughed again and started walking away, displaying the Shikon proudly in her hand, as if to mock Kikyo and her incompetence to protect it.

"Thanks for the Shikon no Tama. I appreciate it," she added, almost as an afterthought as she continued walking, leaving Kikyo there on the forest floor to bleed to death as she stared after her. "I'll have to make this absorb more hate-filled blood. I'll massacre the villagers."

*I should have noticed something was amiss. I should have known you would never turn against the village you protected so long, you would never slaughter anyone in cold blood. I should have known it couldn't have been you since by threatening the villagers, you also threatened Kaede, whom I know you could never raise a claw to. I should have noticed it all… but I didn't. I was too consumed by my anger, my sadness, the pain of my broken trust… and in my deep hatred towards you. I had loved you like I loved Kaede. I thought of you as my second sister. And you turned your back and threw it all in my face. That's what I thought back then and it made me hate you more than I ever hated anyone.*

An angry expression twisted Kikyo's expression for the first time since she was born. Her heart was aching and bleeding from the deep wounds that had nothing to do with Kagome's claws physically cutting her down. No, this pain originated from inside her, from the trust she had had in Kagome. That trust was now broken, lying in shambles all around her broken heart as it bled and cried in the agony of betrayal. Kikyo took all these emotions and welcomed them, turning them to anger much stronger than anything she had ever felt and that anger, in turn, teaching her an emotion she had never felt before. Hatred. Never had she hated someone before. Never had she wished death upon someone. Never… until now.

"Curse you…" the young, angry miko said under her breath as she watched the retreating back of the hanyō she had considered a sister not so long ago. "Kagome…" the name left her lips like a curse would. She hated it. She hated everything that had anything to do with the half-demon who did this to her. The dirty half-breed that would stoop so low for just a Jewel. Inuyasha… the gentle dog demon… yeah, right, on the outside maybe, but deep down, she was no different from the rest of them. She was just as evil as any other yōkai and she had been a fool to think otherwise.

'Did you intend to deceive me from the very beginning? Were your words a lie?' She thought, thinking back to her last conversation with Kagome before she left a few days back.

"I know you don't need to hear it and I know you're more than capable of handling it yourself if need be, but still… Kikyo… I vow to you on my honor, my life, my very soul that I will protect you, the Jewel and your village with everyone in it. I will protect you for as long as the fates allow and I will protect the Jewel until it is either destroyed, or until there's no drop of blood, demon or human, left within my body. I promise you that, Kikyo, and I'll keep that promise even if it kills me!" Kagome had said back then and had even smiled. Kikyo hadn't admitted it, but she had felt reassured by that promise. She had trusted Kagome back then with her life and she knew that if the hanyō-girl promised something, she would keep that promise if that was the last thing she did. Knowing that had made Kikyo happy, although she had stopped herself from showing it. Now she knew she should have known better. She should have never trusted that deceiving half-breed. That deceiving hanyō who had went even further in her words. "That way, you can also…"

"Curse you…" Kikyo grunted again, cutting the voice of her memories off. She didn't want to hear it. She wanted to forget. But more than anything, she wished she could hurt Kagome the same way she had hurt her. Kikyo clenched her fists, ignoring how it made her injured shoulder hurt even more. She was well beyond thinking rationally by now, the overwhelming emotions she had never felt before making it impossible for any logical thought to form in her head. "Curse you!"

Ю

"I had somehow found the strength to get up and to walk towards the village. My hatred towards you and my wish for you to meet your end and for me to be the one to personally see to it was what fueled me. And you know the rest," Kikyo finished her story, her voice laced with deep regret. "After I pinned you and you were asleep, Kaede told me that you couldn't have done anything to me. She had said you'd been at the village the entire time. She had no reason to lie, so I believed her. Part of me was even longing for it all to be a misunderstanding, but even once I understood what had happened, it was too late… my wound had caught up to me."

"And you died," Kagome finished for her as her hands turned into fists in her lap. She was angry, so very angry. Angry at herself that she didn't go to look for Kikyo when she knew something must have gone very, very wrong. Angry at whoever it was that disguised themselves as her that led to all these problems. Just plain angry that things could never work out. And yet, she could not bring herself to be angry at Kikyo. The miko had been as much of a victim as herself in that situation, if not even more. After all, Kagome was still alive.

'Why did it have to turn out like this? What did Kikyo ever do to deserve this?' the hanyō-turned-human thought bitterly as angry tears formed in her eyes. She didn't try to stop them from falling or blink them away this time, though. 'Not that I'm not to blame. Some protector I am… and that was after vowing I would protect her, too,' if she had her hanyō-ears right now, they would be drooping and flattening against her head in shame. Kagome sighed, and opened her mouth to apologize for her incompetence, but almost as if sensing what was on Kagome's mind, Kikyo spoke up.

"Now tell me… what exactly happened in the village while I was in the forest?" Kikyo asked calmly. Kagome released her breath and her shoulders sagged. She looked up towards the sky as she thought back to that day, theoretically so long ago… and yet to her, it was almost yesterday.

Ю

*I was returning to the village like I promised I would. I was trying to make haste because I had a feeling something was going to happen. I was expecting a lot of things upon my arrival, but not what I had ended up finding. At that time, I think you were still gathering herbs.*

Kagome ran through the forest towards Kikyo's village as fast as she could, having the feeling she just couldn't arrive fast enough. Her gut was telling her to hurry and at the same time, it was telling her to turn and run away. She knew, however, that she could not turn her back on that village. She would never forgive herself if she did. So whatever awaited her there, she would face it.

She couldn't help noticing how weird it felt to not have the small, familiar weight of Yougo by her hip. She had left it with him right before getting back. She had promised him she'd be back one day to ask hi to return it. He seemed to get her message, because his eyes were sadder than any other time they parted, but he didn't stop her. Kagome was grateful for that, because she knew if he tried to stop her, then she would have most likely listened or would have at least set out later. And if because of that something happened to one of her sisters, she would never forgive herself.

The half-demon-girl was roughly pulled out of her musings when the scent of blood and smoke entered her nose. Eyes widening, the Inuyasha pushed herself even harder, trying to run even faster. She had arrived at the village in no time, even though to her it felt like an eternity too long, and froze at the sight that met her.

The whole village was swarmed by demons of all kinds and sizes. Houses were burning and people were screaming. It was utter chaos, much bigger than she had ever seen before. Usually, Kikyo's presence calmed the villagers at least a little bit. So why wasn't it…

'Kikyo!' Kagome thought in a panic as she started to look around frantically, but the miko was nowhere in sight. She couldn't smell her either, since the air was so thick with blood and burning wood that it was even hard to smell the horde of demons that was right in front of her.

A sudden, pink glow caught her attention and Kagome turned her head quickly just in time to see a Sacred Arrow race through the air, narrowly missing a few demons but ultimately only succeeding in drawing their attention to the archer. Kagome quickly made her way over there, pushing her legs to their absolute limit. There was only one person who would miss like that and it definitely wasn't Kikyo. Kikyo's arrows never missed their target.

*Kaede was trying to fill in for you. She was doing a good job for her age, too. But she couldn't last forever, she was just a kid then. If I couldn't have arrived soon enough to save you, I'm at the very least glad I managed to save her.*

Her claws tore easily through the demon that dared to come anywhere close to Kikyo's younger sister and before it even knew what hit it, the yōkai was no more. Kagome immediately turned to the child and knelt in front of her, putting her hands on her shoulders. Time was crucial and she couldn't allow herself to lose much of it in this situation, but she had to make sure Kaede was safe, first.

"Kaede-chan!" she called over the chaos, absentmindedly noting that the small girl had her right eye covered in bandages and that if the faint scent of fresh blood coming from it was anything to go by, the wound wasn't that old, maybe a few days. Guild hit her when she quickly figured out that it must have happened while she wasn't there to help, but she pushed it away. Now was not the time.

"Kagome-nee-san!" Kaede said relieved when she opened her good eye to see who had helped her. "You're back!" the Inuyasha only nodded, her eyes deathly serious as she tried to ignore the terrified screams all around. She couldn't save everyone, she knew that, but she wanted to save as many villagers as she possibly could. She had to make it quick.

"Kaede-chan, where's Kikyo?" She asked urgently, tightening her grip on Kaede's small shoulders a little in her anxiousness. She didn't squeeze hard enough to hurt her, though.

"She went to the forest to gather herbs a little while back. She hasn't come back yet," was Kaede's answer, her voice betraying her fear.

*I knew right then and there that there was more to it. There was no possible way that you wouldn't have sensed this much evil in the village and that you wouldn't come to help. It had to mean that either something had happened or that something was holding you back. That forced me to make a decision – to go look for you and risk that no one would be left at the village by the time we returned, or stay and risk that you would die out there somewhere, not to mention the Jewel would be lost, though that was the least of my worries. Shortly after I woke up, I had told myself I should have gone looking for you, but thinking about it now with a clear head… I think you would have hated me either way.*

[T]

"Kaede-chan, take your bow and get somewhere safe. I'll clean up here," Kagome said as she quickly stood up and turned her back on the kid, flexing her claws.

"No! I want to help too! I can fight alongside you and Kikyo-onee-sama!" Kaede answered defiantly, making Kagome sigh.

"Kaede, please, just go." Kagome rarely called Kaede by her name without an affectionate suffix behind it. The times when she actually pleaded for anything were even rarer. That she did both right now just had to get her message across. She prayed it did, for she had not time for persuasions right now, yet the most important thing was that Kaede was safe and away from the main battle. She had to get somewhere safer.

"But…" she had to hand it to Kikyo's sister, she as stubborn as her elder. Unfortunately, Kagome had lost enough time as it was.

"Please, Kaede!" she almost yelled, her eyes being the only part of her face that actually betrayed how scared she was. Scared that something might happen to the little girl. She saw Kaede's eye widen then, but it had the desired effect, if nothing else. The little girl nodded numbly before turning her back and running off, most likely to where all the other children were to reassure them that at least one of their protector's was now back.

Sighing in relief, Kagome focused on the task at hand and jumped into the air, swinging her claws in wide arcs and easily decapitating any demon that was anywhere near her. She wasn't aware of it, but Kaede had stopped in her tracks then, to look back at one of her sisters, to see her fight like she had seen so many other times before and wishing she could help. The little girl didn't reach for an arrow to help, though, since Kagome was now in the air as well and she didn't trust her aim enough yet.

Meanwhile, Kagome was destroying the demons one after another in a manner that would remind any modern-time kid of a yo-yo; she jumped up high killing anything near her, then landed lightly only to immediately jump into the air again. That was where most of the demons were, even if there were those who stuck to the ground, too. Kagome cursed as she landed after another jump, only to lash out in front of her to kill a few ogres and oni that happened to be too close. 'This is getting me nowhere fast!' she thought angrily. A sudden scream from farther within the village had her eyes widen and she cursed as she once again jumped into the air. She was starting to regret leaving Yougo behind, she could have used it.

'There's no end to them!' the hanyō thought angrily as she slashed madly, never missing a target even when she didn't truly aim, but not getting rid of them all fast enough. More screams were heard and Kagome snarled as her anger rose to new levels. 'I don't have time for this!'

"Sankon Tessō!" she yelled as she spun around in the air, letting the blades of her youki strike in all directions. A red rain fell onto the village after all the blades disappeared, coating the huts and the ground in demon blood, but Kagome didn't pay it any mind as she raced towards where she now knew most of the villagers had gathered.

They were all huddled together in small groups, trying desperately to defend against the onslaught of demons, and falling one after another. Kagome growled and let once again the golden blades of her energy to shine in the sky as it cut through those that dared to threaten the village she could almost consider her home.

Surprised yells were heard, but Kagome ignored them as she landed in front of the nearest group, her back turned to them as she directed the feral snarl that was present on her face against her foes. She was beyond angry now. She was really mad.

There wasn't even a warning growl or one flex of claws to leave the horde of demons to prepare, or maybe to turn around and flee while they had the chance. Instead, Kagome threw herself right at them and cut them down mercilessly. They dared to attack what was as close to her home as she would probably ever get, they were going to pay the price for it.

"The Inuyasha! It's the Inuyasha!" happy yells reached her ears from behind her, but she didn't let them distract her. As a clearing lacking any living demons formed around her after her onslaught, the rest having retreated farther away and scattered around, she jumped high into the air again and continued her assault, although now she was mindful of the handful of humans below her, not wishing to accidentally harm them.

Her aerial path was marked by the ever following red rain that fell on the village behind her as she mercilessly cut down anything that was not human in front of her. And yet, their numbers weren't falling.

'It's like there's a nest nearby that makes more and more come out constantly,' Kagome thought angrily, once again switching to ground-assault as she let her claws cut through almost anything moving she could see. The demons had long since started to try and avoid her, but she would have none of it. If they didn't come to her, she would come to them.

Her appearance seemed to renew the vigor of the villagers, who were now fighting back with more strength than before, although they knew better than to approach the now pissed-off hanyō. She protected them, but in the situation they were all in, there was no guarantee that they wouldn't accidentally attack each other in this chaos.

[/T]

*It took us a while, but eventually, we managed to get rid of all of them. Not much of the village was left standing by then, though, and the huts that were still in one piece were coated in demon blood. But maybe that was the plan of that person who pretended to be me, since it would definitely look like I massacred the villagers, like the impostor said she would. I didn't know that then, however, and I was starting to worry, as you had yet to show up. I think that by then, you were already on your way back to the village.*

Kagome sighed as she looked around the village, or rather what was left of it. It reminded her more of carnage now than a village, even if it were just the ruins of one by now. The few huts that were standing where splattered in both demon and human blood. She herself was surprisingly clean considering the killing spree she just went through – the only part of her truly coated in blood were her claws.

'Where are you, Kikyo? What's taking you so long?' Kagome wondered as she sank to her knees. She would have gone looking for her by now, and really, she knew she should, but the stench of demon blood was so string in the air now that it was impossible to scent anything else. To be quite honest, the intensity of it was even making her a little dizzy.

Of course, it wasn't just demon blood she smelt. Somewhere below that, there was also the stench of human blood. It was to be expected, though, as this time, there were just too many enemies to protect everyone. A few villagers were dead. Quite a large number were hurt more or less gravely. The only ones who didn't seem to suffer any damage were herself and the children. Speaking of which…

A bucket of water was suddenly deposited in front of the silver-haired hanyō, bringing her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she saw a smiling Kaede standing next to her.

"I know it might not help much since pretty much everything is covered in demon blood and guts, but I had thought you would prefer to get rid of the blood on your hands, at the very least," the little girl said with a half-hearted smile on her face, although Kagome couldn't blame her for it. Kaede was probably as worried as she was.

"Arigato, Kaede-chan," Kagome said gently as she lowered her red hands into the water, which instantly took on the scarlet color. When she finished cleaning herself up, she stood and turned to smile at the little girl who still stood beside her. "Well, I'm off to drag your sister back here. She's worried us enough, don't you think?" she said in a joking manner, hoping to lift Kaede's spirits a little. It worked; Kaede smiled and nodded at her. With that, Kagome jumped off, trying to get somewhere where the stench of blood wouldn't be quite as strong so she could attempt to find the missing priestess.

*I didn't need to go very far, though I didn't scent you. Now that I think about it… I thought I saw you… So I followed. I didn't know Kaede went after me, but I think I should be glad she did… at least you didn't die still hating me. Even if I do deserve it.*

As she was jumping through the trees, trying to make her nose discern anything other than the stench of blood coming from the village, the young half-demon suddenly stopped as she caught movement in the corner of her eye. Turning her head, she had caught a red shadow moving between the trees – a red and white shadow that looked distinguishably human. It could only be one person, then.

"Kikyo!" Kagome yelled as she jumped after the figure, but the priestess didn't respond. Kagome narrowed her eyes and sped up. "Oi, Kikyo! Where are you going!" she yelled as she was starting to catch up. It wasn't really that hard, considering she was following a human.

She had almost caught up to the priestess when something shiny suddenly fell to the ground and Kagome stopped abruptly. She didn't have to look twice to know that it was the Shikon no Tama, which was odd, as Kikyo would have never just dropped it like that. 'Something's… not right…' she thought briefly as she stared at the gem, until gradually, her thoughts started to quiet down until she couldn't hear them anymore. But she could hear something else.

It took all of her willpower to tear her eyes away from that gem. When she did, she quickly looked around, but Kikyo was nowhere in sight anymore. 'I have to find her and give it back to her,' she thought as she took off again, clutching the Jewel by the necklace as she sped through the forest. 'If I keep it much longer, it could…' she didn't dare finish that thought. Gritting her teeth, Kagome tried running faster as her nose tried to catch the scent of the priestess she knew she had seen here but a little while ago, but still, all she could smell was blood. 'Where the Hell could she be?' Kagome thought worriedly as she passed by the Goshinboku without even realizing it. From there, it was as if time had slowed down.

"KAGOME!" a familiar voice that Kagome recognized to be Kikyo's shouted and the distinct sound of an arrow being released reached the hanyō's ears at the same time. She turned her head towards the one who called her, only having seconds to wonder why her instincts were yelling at her to get the Hell out of there. Before she could even comprehend what was happening, an arrow had pierced her breast, right where her heart was with such force that she was actually forced backwards, her back hitting the Tree of Ages as the arrow went right through her body and into the trunk, effectively pinning her. The Jewel fell from her hands and onto the grass as her eyes went wide. She could already feel her strength fading, could feel the cold embrace of death, but she could still see the priestess that had shot her clear as day. And it was the one she had been looking for just a second ago.

"K-Kikyo…" she gasped out, her eyes slowly starting to close and her hand still reaching out to the miko who stood there, her bow still in position to send another arrow her way, should it be needed. Kagome knew it wouldn't, though. Just as always, Kikyo's arrow had hit its mark spot on. "How could you… why… would you…?" but before she could finish her question, her arm fell slack by her side and her head lowered limply as her eyes closed.

*I didn't understand back then. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. And the one question that rang in my mind before I closed my eyes for what I thought was the final time was 'why? What did I do?'*

Ж

*I had seen the look in your eyes when I shot you, but I didn't pay it any attention. My wish was fulfilled, I had paid you back for your betrayal by killing you myself. And although I knew I only managed to seal you and not kill you, as part of me still loved you like a sister, I knew that was not the reason why it didn't bring me any satisfaction. The reason it didn't was because deep down, I had wished things didn't end the way they did… the only way I had thought was the correct path.*

Kikyo stumbled a little as she approached the Jewel Kagome had been holding. She fell to her knees in front of it before daring to look up at the now-sleeping hanyō-girl; sleeping an eternal slumber. The sight made Kikyo sad just as much as it made her angry. 'I trusted you. I really trusted you!' she thought, clenching one of her hands over the Jewel. In the end, she should have kept following her teachings. But she had strayed from them and was now paying the price – she was paying with her life.

"Kikyo-onee-sama!" She heard her sister calling out behind her, accompanied by several male voices of a few villagers who followed her. Kaede was at her side within moments, her eye wide with what Kikyo easily recognized as fear… along with confusion and sadness.

"Kikyo-onee-sama… why? Why did you seal Kagome-nee-san?" The young girl asked with tears in her eye, which widened even more when she noticed the wound. "What happened to you, onee-sama?"

"That half-breed… she tried to kill me… to steal the Jewel," Kikyo grunted out, looking away from her sister and directing her gaze, full of hatred, at the now slumbering half-demon. A slumber she would never awake from. "She almost succeeded… She didn't get the Shikon… but there's not much time left for me now," she whispered looking down at her sister. Tears were streaming down Kaede's cheek; the little girl definitely understood what Kikyo meant and she knew Kikyo was right. The miko sighed in regret. She did not want to leave Kaede like this. In fact, she did not want to leave her at all. Alas, her fate was already sealed.

"But, Onee-sama, why did you seal Kagome-nee-san to the tree? What did she do?"

"She was trying to steal the Jewel," Kikyo whispered, feeling her strength leaving her. She had less time than she had thought.

"She didn't! She was looking for you because she had been worried about where you were!" Kaede screamed desperately. Kikyo froze. She knew her sister wouldn't say anything without a reason, and she wouldn't lie, either. Something wasn't right… something was missing – she was missing something.

As if sensing her sister's doubts, Kaede continued talking.

"Kagome-nee-san returned not long ago. The village had been under attack then, and you were still in the forest. Kagome-nee-san saved us, then went looking for you, onee-sama. She couldn't have ever attacked you!"

"When? When was she in the village?" Kikyo asked softly as she looked at the villagers. Kaede's clothing was indeed covered in blood, although none of it was her own, a fact Kikyo wondered how she could have missed, even if her vision was slowly starting to blur. And the villagers surrounding her were more or less heavily bandaged, which proved they just got out of a fight. However, if it had been Kagome that attacked them, like the yōkai she met said it would, then would there be any survivors? Kikyo doubted that.

"Since the sun was in zenith," Kaede said quietly and in that precise moment, Kikyo understood that she had made a mistake. When she had been attacked, the sun was well past its zenith point, but Kaede said Kagome had been in the village since noon and had stayed there. She could hardly be in two places at once, and Kikyo knew her sister would never lie. So that meant… 'It wasn't her… she didn't betray us… it wasn't her!' Kikyo tried to get up as that idea came to her mind, but she was too far gone by then and fell to her knees. Clutching the Jewel of Four Souls to her injured breast, Kikyo let the guilt and regret flood her.

"Forgive me… At least, I shall follow you in death…" Kikyo whispered to herself, although she knew she could never be forgiven. She had taken a life… an innocent life… the life of a sister.

How could she ever hope to repent for such a sin?

Ю

"I had told Kaede to burn the Shikon with my body. I had thought that that way, it would be gone forever. Yet that boy has it," Kikyo finished, finally turning her head to gaze at Kagome, who nodded in response to the unasked question.

"I don't really understand how he had it. I know that he was the one to first wake me up, and then pull out your arrow. The Sacred Jewel… he held it within his body," she said quietly. Kikyo didn't answer right away, staring towards the sky instead.

"The Jewel is no longer my responsibility. He is its protector now, and he has his own protector to help," she whispered. Kagome turned her head, her human ears being unable to make out Kikyo's words.

"You said something, Kikyo?" she asked. Kikyo sighed, but didn't look away from the sky.

"Now you know the truth. You know why I did what I did. Tell me, Kagome, did that change anything for you, like you so insisted it would?"

"It changed everything," Kagome admitted, her own eyes rising towards the sky as well. "Now, I can no longer say that I wish to forgive you. Now I can say that I do forgive you," she said with a smile. It felt as if a huge burden had fallen from her heart, and she was glad to be rid of it. She was glad she could straighten everything out between Kikyo and herself.

"How can you say that when what I did cannot possibly be forgiven?" Kikyo asked, making Kagome sigh.

"The real question is, why won't you forgive yourself, Kikyo?" she asked quietly. "You made a mistake, alright, but you're only human. You are a normal living being like any other on this earth. You aren't a kami and you aren't a saint, no matter how many people expect you to be. You are human, and it's human nature, just as it is the nature of any living being, to make mistakes."

"Kagome…"

"You know what's sad? That you were the one to tell me that. So why won't you heed your own advice and just accept things as they are?" Kagome didn't allow herself to be interrupted. "Think about it, Kikyo. Someone who looked and sounded exactly like me attacked you and dealt you a fatal wound. That same person stole the Jewel and threatened to kill all the villagers you wanted to protect. When you actually arrived at the village, it looked like nothing other than the carnage you might have been expecting and only later did you learn that it was a fight that cause the chaos and that there were indeed survivors. To top it off, I had the Jewel when you found me. What were you supposed to think?"

Kagome sighed and took a deep breath before she finished her little speech, her eyes never leaving Kikyo. She had to make sure she understood, that she forgave herself. The young half-demon would not stand for the miko to hate herself for something that was not her fault.

"Truthfully, if it had happened the other way around… if I were the one to be deceived into believing you betrayed me… I highly doubt that I wouldn't have fallen for it. It was just too well thought out, too well planned… there was no room to doubt or to even consider doubting."

Kikyo was silent as she stared at the hanyō-turned-human. Kagome didn't look away this time and held her gaze until a smile broke out on Kikyo's face. It was different than the other times she had smiled, however. This time, it actually reached her eyes.

"Alright, you win," she said finally as she glanced towards the sky. "I shall let it go." Kagome smiled as well and turned her head to stare at the sky as well. She could see the moon above her, on the orange-pink sky of the sunset.

"The sun's setting," Kikyo pointed out, although Kagome already knew that. The day was ending and so was her time as a human. A little bit more and she'd have all of her senses back. She couldn't wait. "The moon is unusually early out, though," Kikyo continued, lost in her own thoughts.

"Reminds me of those many sunsets we watched together back in the day. Although there were only a few when the moon was already out… overall, we rarely got to see the sun and the moon together," she added that last part as an afterthought, glancing towards Kikyo. The miko had once again turned to her, her face serious, yet gentle. Kagome knew that look and she also knew that Kikyo had understood the message between the lines. The miko smiled again.

"Once the sun sets, the day will end. You'll be hanyō again, then, won't you?" Kikyo said and Kagome nodded.

"Though I don't hate to be human… I can't wait," she said truthfully, smile still in place. It had been a while since she had felt at peace like this. Yes, she had definitely needed this talk with Kikyo. Although, now that that was out in the open and they forgave each other… would Kikyo…?

As if sensing her thoughts, Kikyo spoke again.

"Since you don't hate me, I don't suppose there's any sense in asking you to…" she trailed off, but for Kagome, she might have as well continued and screamed the question out loud. She froze as the last rays of the sun started disappearing. Slowly, her senses started to return to her, but for the first time, she was numb to it.

"Don't you even dare…" she whispered as she suddenly jumped up, pinning Kikyo down with a glare, although the miko was not fazed by it. What fazed her more where the tears that glistened in Kagome's eyes – tears she did not even seem to notice, much less try and stop them. "How could you even think about asking me to do such a thing, when just a second ago, you were saying how you couldn't forgive yourself for doing the same thing?" the young half-demon yelled, anger and sadness mixing together in her voice, and although her appearance was slowly changing to that of a hanyō, the overwhelming emotions had yet to fade.

[T]

"If you want to go to the afterlife, that's fine. It's your decision, and I can't stop you… since technically you're already dead and you said yourself you don't belong in this realm anymore! But don't you even dare think that I could help you pass to the afterlife! You're like a sister to me, Kikyo, I could never kill you, so don't you dare ask that of me!" she yelled out, not caring which secrets of hers she spilled. Calming down, a little, Kagome hung her head and closed her fists at her sides. "Please, don't ask that of me," she whispered as her hair slowly turned from black to silver-white, her claws lengthened and her dog-ears reappeared. The tears, however, did not stop falling.

She didn't notice when Kikyo stood up from where she was seated. She didn't notice when the miko walked towards her. But she did notice when she was being embraced by the resurrected miko. Her eyes widened a fraction, only to widen more when Kikyo spoke again.

"I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have even thought of it, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the concept of you forgiving me. I'm sorry, Kagome. For everything," Kikyo whispered. Kagome forced her emotions under slight control, but it didn't stop her tears the slightest bit. She embraced Kikyo back, knowing this was most likely her only chance to do so. So what if she was showing weakness and someone happened to see? She just didn't care.

"Apology accepted," she whispered, trying to convey all of the things she had never said and could never say into this one embrace. But then, Kikyo pulled away and lifted her face so that their eyes met once again. The sun hat set fully by then and all of Kagome's hanyō-features were back in place. The only thing different from any other day or night were the tears still falling down her cheeks. Kikyo couldn't help but smile as her eyes met Kagome's now golden ones.

"I think that's the first time I saw you cry like this," she said calmly, with a sad smile on her face. Kagome forced out a laugh, although it was a little choked and replied:

"Engrave it into your memory, that's the only time you get to see me like this," her tone was teasing, for the most part, only slightly underneath could one detect the sadness and pain that the hanyō was feeling.

"I know," Kikyo said, her smile turning sad as she leaned into the hug once again, as Kagome tightened her hold on the miko. "I'm sorry, Kagome."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," Kagome whispered back as a gentle while light enveloped them both. It wasn't like the portal that allowed Kikyo's soul back into this world and it was even less like the one Kikyo had opened to descend to the yomi. Kagome knew what it meant the second she saw it, but Kikyo's fake body going slack in her arms only drove the point home. Sinking to her knees, Kagome clutched the now limp body to her chest as she threw back her head and howled her agony towards the heavens.

It was only a few moments later that she could even attempt to try and control her emotions like she always had and slipped her own mask back on. Kagome allowed only a few tears to still pool in her eyes, but did not allow them to fall as she looked up towards the sky, towards the orbs of light that were Kikyo's soul, ascending towards the sacred realm.

"Rest in peace, Kikyo… maybe one day, we can meet again, in another life. If we do, I know I'll recognize you. Until then… rest in peace, nee-chan," she whispered towards the heavens, but she had no doubt that Kikyo had heard her.

[/T]

XxX

Inuyasha was getting impatient. Trust girls to go off into the forest for some girl-talk and make it last much longer than it should. It wasn't supposed to be taking all day, damn it, was it? He was pretty sure it shouldn't.

He was about to stand up and go after them and tell them to hurry the Hell up… again. Every other time he attempted, Kaede would notice and stop him with just one call of his name or just one slight movement of her arm. This time, however, it was not the priestess that stopped him from going, but the agonized howl that suddenly pierced the silence of the evening. Surprised, Inuyasha took a few steps backwards and almost lost his balance. He did not expect such a sudden disruption of the peace surrounding them, that was for sure.

"What… was that?" he asked, although he had a feeling he could take a wild guess. The howl had been definitely that of a dog, after all, and he doubted it would be just any lost dog in the forest. But what could cause such a sound to rip free from Kagome's throat?

Inuyasha shuddered as the echo of her howl still rang in his ears. He didn't understand yōkai language – Hell, he wasn't even aware this howl could be translated into words – but he knew that this howl was far from a happy one. And he also knew he never wished to hear it again. Never and under no circumstance. Kaede sighed.

"It was the howl of a demon who lost someone very precious to her," Kaede replied, although she knew very well this was just the tip of the iceberg. In reality, it was a howl that was more than just fifty years late in coming. It was a howl that held years upon years of pent up agony that was only now allowed release, as if the vessel holding the emotions bottled up had been overfilled, which was probably what had happened.

Tense silence enveloped the two of them as they waited for Kagome to return, neither thinking Kikyo would be coming with her. Not after that howl. Inuyasha was the first to see movement between the trees. Not long after that, a figure appeared, one he recognized to be Kagome. She wasn't human anymore, instead she was once again the same hanyō-wench he had first met, but he wasn't really surprised. She had told him she would turn back once the sun set and plus, that howl could not be the work of a human throat, that much was certain. And in Kagome's arms lay Kikyo's body.

"Kagome…?" Inuyasha asked tentatively as she approached them, but his mouth shut as soon as he saw her eyes. Or rather, when he noticed that there was something he couldn't see in her eyes. Kagome however, ignored him and instead turned to Kaede, giving her a sad smile, one the old priestess reciprocated.

"Don't worry, Kaede… she passed peacefully," was all Kagome said, to which Kaede nodded. She had probably figured that out, the hanyō thought. After all, she must have seen Kikyo's soul rising up to the heavens, not to mention heard her howling. So without another word, Kagome started walking, still holding Kikyo's body close, carrying her bridal style in her arms. Kaede followed and after motioning to Inuyasha to not utter a single sound (not that she needed to because he was stunned into silence by Kagome's behavior and the weird glint in her eyes, anyway), the three of them slowly made their way back to the village, where Kikyo would once again be buried, for the second time in fifty years.

---

(1) Chihaya – the shirt of a miko's clothing

(2) Yomi – in the Shinto religion and before Buddhism appeared in Japan, it was believed that once people died, they went to a gloomy underworld realm, with a river separating the living from the dead. It is very close to the Greek underworld governed by Hades, so I thought I could assimilate it to the 'Hell' Kikyo wanted to drag Inuyasha to in canon, as well. Sounds hellish enough for me :/ Once the Buddhists came around and learned to co-exist with the Shinto religion, they introduced to Shinto more the Buddhist concept of death, to the point where now in Japan, more often than not, people are 'born Shinto and die Buddhists' – basically, Shinto priests are handling the rituals for the newborns, while Buddhists take care of the funerals, since any contact with death would be too 'polluting' for a Shinto priest or priestess.

(3) Tsumi – the equivalent of a sin, although in the Shinto religion, the term includes even that which is beyond human control and is thought to be caused by evil spirits. A tsumi can be physical, spiritual or moral.

(4) Harae and Shubatsu – 'Harae' is the general term for purification rites in the Shinto religion. 'Shubatsu' is a purification ritual in which salt is sprinkled on priests or worshippers, or on the ground to purify it.

(5) 'To do good is to be pure. To do evil is to be impure.'; 'To admit a fault is the beginning of righteousness.'; 'Retribution for good or ill is as sure as the shadow after substance'; 'Where you have sincerity, there's also virtue. Sincerity is a witness to truth. Sincerity is the mother of knowledge. Sincerity is a single virtue that binds Divinity and man in one' – those are all actual Shinto sayings. Basically, what Kagome and Kikyo are doing in this scene is trying to convince each other that they are right. Kikyo's using the saying against herself, since she's a miko, while Kagome also knows a lot about Kikyo's beliefs and tries to 'defeat' and convince her with her own weapon. As for Inuyasha, I figured he'd have to have heard those sayings even in his/our time since he lives in a shrine and all, but there's nothing more to it. He was trying to remember where he heard it before because he didn't quite understand what Kikyo and Kagome were talking about. As for the last saying, the part where it speaks about 'binding Divinity and man in one' can only be understood if one understands the full concept of 'purity' in Shinto – it's not only physical purity, and not only moral and spiritual, either. Being 'pure', in Shinto, means 'being one with the kami' or the same as kami, who actually live in the same realm as us, even if we can't see them. Note that 'kami' literally translates into 'God' or 'spirit', but neither of those words really convey the idea of a 'kami' from the Shinto religion.

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And that's about it. Whoa, I think that's one of the longest chapters I have ever written, for this story at least. I don't think I'll ever break this record LOL Anyway, hope you enjoyed and hope you had a happy eastern!

Well, see you next month if all goes well. Hope to hear from you in reviews, I'm looking forward to them (though of course, there's no obligation) and I want to thank whoever is responsible again for nominating this fic, really, it means a lot :3