The Florian Triangle.

A dark and mysterious sea that lay in the area between Water-7 and the Red Line, the Triangle also frequently toes the boundaries between myth and reality. For every ship that goes missing in this fog-shadowed sea, a dozen more stories are told of ghost ships, monsters, sea-witches, traps, and enormous giants that blot out the sky. Any legitimate trade conducted in the region avoided the Triangle completely, using Eternal Poses to dance around the edges of the dangerous waters.

It was never a very safe place, and that was before Akatsuki guided their own sleek new ship into the dark and foreboding mists. Unlike most groups that enter this area, they went in looking for trouble.

They found it rather easily.

Barrels littered the water around a floating wreck, and when examined they proved to be signal flares of a sort, sending up tremendous lights that would attract all the wrong sorts of attention.

Of course, the wrong sort of attention was exactly what they were looking for.

-Florian Triangle-

-Thriller Bark-

Thriller Bark was originally a small island that had once resided in West Blue. Converted into a ship and conveyed into the Grand Line by unknown means, it was so large that it was actually difficult to believe it could move at all. Shrouded beneath the nearly-perpetual gloom of the Florian Triangle, it was home to one of the Shichibukai- Gecko Moria.

Normally, Moria laid traps and lures for his unsuspecting victims, bringing them to his island fortress and stealing their shadows to increase his own power, but today Akatsuki came under a white flag.

They came bearing gifts. Gold stolen from Skypiea as well as the numerous pirate crews that they had encountered along the way. In return they were greeted by row after row of what were either actual zombies or possibly wounded old men in very convincing costumes. Some of them, however, were in no way mistakable for geriatrics of any sort, such as the horrifying pink warthog standing on two legs while wearing a wedding dress.

None of Akatsuki had ever seen a warthog before, and none of them wanted to see one ever again.

"You think they're here to greet us?" asked Tobi, as they passed through the array of warriors.

"Don't be stupid," said Danzou, casting an irritated gaze down at a stitched-together snake with a monkey's face. "This is a show of force and nothing more. This so-called Shichibukai has a plan that requires us to be cowed into submission until the time is right."

They walked past a cow-human hybrid that was holding a halberd and giving them a bovine stare.

"And should we be? Cowed, I mean," asked Tobi.

"You tell us. You're the lynchpin of this operation. From everything we've heard, this Moria has a ghost Devil-Fruit user in his employ that is unbeatable, no matter how powerful a warrior you are. Still, I feel confident your ability should trump anything they can throw at us… provided you aren't frightened."

"Oh, I'm not afraid of anything here," said Tobi. "...Except maybe that guy."

He pointed to an eight-limbed monkey with a snake's face. The creature's eyes were sewn shut, but it had replacement eyeballs on the palm of each hand. It peered open-handed at them, blinking occasionally by flapping its fingers together with a wet, gummy noise.

"...That guy creeps me out…" whispered Tobi.

"We don't have the freedom to entertain your fears, Tobi. You will deal with these things whether you want to or not."

"Hey, I'm cool. I can handle it."

Danzou smirked. "I never doubted it for an instant, Tobi."

"Hey, Orochimaru!" said Tobi. "What do you think?"

The snake-man paused from his assessment of the zombies to glance his way. "Most of these are inelegant hack-jobs, but there are a few well-built pieces among them… If the intelligence was correct then this is an application of spiritual, or Yin chakra, using shadows to manipulate specially-prepared corpses… Nothing I couldn't replicate myself on a small scale, but it seems the Fruit's power allows him to command an army without his direct observation."

"See anything you want?"

"With the Fruit's power, perhaps, but without that I have far better ways to reanimate the dead."

"Gotcha. Kisame?

"I don't really see the point of this place," said Kisame. "Using corpses like this has gotta have a whole lot of drawbacks. Hey, at least the weather's alright."

The day was gloomy, cool, and humid, but every one of them knew the Fish-Man's preferences already. Tobi nodded and moved on.

"Kakuzu?"

"You had better not lose track of that gold," grumbled the man.

"Don't worry! It's safe with me! And Hidan, how about- oh my word! It's a zombie walking alongside us!"

"Screw you too, asshole," said Hidan. "I don't even know why I'm here in the first place."

"Oh, you! Don't worry about that. Just be your usual charming self!"

"You've got just one of those smartass remarks left before I start killing something. You really wanna take bets on who I'm going after?"

Tobi laughed.

Escorted by the small army of mutant zombies, the team was brought to a grand building constructed as part of the central mast of the island-ship, where zombie attendants brought them to zombie dining halls catered by zombie chefs that brought them thoroughly poisoned food. They touched none of this, but that was probably to be expected.

Eventually, they were led to a zombie parlor that was full of suspiciously cheap furniture.

"This room's kinda decrepit," mused Tobi. "Wait, can I use that word? Decrepit? I'd hate to be insensitive to the zombies."

"Of course it's decrepit," mumbled Kakuzu. "This is the room where he springs his trap. He doesn't want to have to replace good furniture every time he does it."

"Oh, hey, you might be right about that! You've really got him pegged, don't you?"

"This is amateur work," said Danzou. "If it weren't for the other madmen we met out here I'd think he was being deliberately insulting with such obvious ploys. Alas, I bet this plan works just fine for him."

They were made to wait for a full twenty minutes before a zombie butler announced that Moria would parley alone with the leader of Akatsuki.

"A blatant power play," muttered Danzou. "And he's certain not to be alone."

"That's what we're hoping for," grinned Tobi. "Alright, guys! I'm off! Try not to get eaten alive!"

He paused.

"Cause, seriously, that's a crucial part of this plan!"

"We know, Tobi," said Danzou.

Tobi was led through opulent halls lined with quivering suits of armor and portraits that watched you pass. Along the way they passed into a dungeon-themed hallway. When the zombie butler opened the door an immense cloud of bats exploded from the other side, flapping and shrieking as they flooded past him into the previous room.

"Wow, either this room hasn't been used in a very long time or someone stuffed a whole bunch of angry bats in here for no real reason, huh?"

The butler offered no opinion.

Honestly, this all might have seemed terribly cliche, except for the fact that Tobi had never seen anything like it before in his life. He was fascinated, rattling suits of armor, poking portraits in the eye, and sticking his tongue out at the ghosts he saw peeking out from the wall.

Eventually, however, they arrived at their destination, and it was time for Tobi to get serious. With great effort he even put on his Serious Face, though his mask made it not strictly necessary at this point.

The door opened onto an opulent old room that smelled of musty leather. In its center sat a long conference table done in rich mahogany and inlaid with jade and lapis lazuli. Far more normal art hung around the area, and the haunted house theme seemed to be more or less in abeyance, though there was still a regal portrait of a headless horseman dominating the opposite wall.

The master of the island reclined in a tremendous throne that clashed horribly with the decor. Warlord Moria, one of the Shichibukai, the seven government-sanctioned pirates that ruled various parts of the sea. The man himself was monstrous, barely even looking humanoid. Fat-bottomed with a tall, thin head, his skin was deathly pale, as if he hadn't seen the sun for many, many years. He looked down from his position on the throne with an inhumanly wide grin that exposed a number of sharp pearly-whites. The tremendously off-balance shape reminded Tobi of nothing less than-

"A fat shallot…" murmured Tobi.

"Excuse me?" said Moria, the grin falling from his face.

"Oh! No, nothing! I'm just admiring the room!"

"Yes, it is quite nice, isn't it? Please, take a seat."

This was starting off quite nicely. Tobi stepped up to the table, dodging a hidden pit-trap with unconscious ease as he took a comfortable seat. As he did so, he noticed an invisible man watching him quietly from the corner. Did Moria know there was somebody else in the room with them?

Tobi shrugged. Probably. He was probably one of Moria's underlings, though their intelligence hadn't mentioned the man. But, then, if he was invisible then that made sense.

"I'm sorry, Tobi, but I must first ask you to remove your mask."

"Err, what?"

The wide grin came back.

"Your mask. I won't allow it here. I'm afraid I must insist."

Tobi fingered his driftwood mask uncomfortably, but then decided it would be fine. He removed the mask with one hand, revealing his stolen Uchiha face to the world. Then he remembered that he'd let his Serious Face slip, so he put it back on, a very exaggerated scowl replacing his earlier grin.

"Hello, I'm Tobi," he said.

Moria laughed, the noise sounding high-pitched and weird. "Ki-shishishishi! Yes… the so-called 'Good Boy.' I am Moria, and I must admit that you've caused me a bit of trouble recently."

He peered down across the table.

"You're bringing a lot of unwanted attention to this area, you see. I'm always fond of acquiring the corpses of high-class bounty-hunters to create my zombies, but honestly this is getting ridiculous. I'm being woken up at all hours by people just wandering in here. Still, I can be forgiving. What brings you here to parley with me?"

"We've come bearing gifts, as well as a proposal!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yep! And we think you'd better take it, if you know what's good for you."

The tremendous grin disappeared to be replaced by an equally-sized frown.

"Oh. Really."

Tobi cleared his throat and jumped into his semi-prepared speech.

"Correct! I represent a group of powerful ninjas from the newly-opened Elemental Kingdoms! We have come here to extend to you a very special invitation," said Tobi, spreading his arms wide. "As one of the so-called Shichibukai, you possess a great power and insight as to the nature of the world at large. We need someone of your skill and status to complete our plans, and we would like to extend to you the opportunity to gain the powers of a god. What say you?"

Moria stared at him, his deep frown slowly twitching upwards. "Ki-shishishishi…" he chuckled, the odd laugh bouncing around the room. "I'd say I don't recall being more insulted in… oh, say the last five years or so. Is this a joke? You come alone and try to recruit me?! ME! Gecko Moria! One of the greatest pirates in the world?! The man who is going to kill Kaidou the Beastlord and become the Pirate King?!"

Moria made a gesture to one of the tiny ghosts that were watching from the walls. It nodded, laughed, and disappeared. Gradually, Moria stood up from his seat, his shadow slipping out from under him to sneak underneath the table. It rose up as a solid form behind Tobi, dancing silently over his shoulder.

"Well, Good-Boy, or whoever you think you are, I have some news for you! This conversation was never anything more than a trap! Right now, my strongest Fruit-user is already disabling your entire crew, and now you're trapped in here with me! I have such wonderful plans for your shadow!"

-Main Ambush Chamber-

"Stay inside the field, you fool," hissed Kakuzu.

"Screw you," growled Hidan, as he swiped his scythe at the swirling clouds of ghosts. "I already told you asshats, ghosts are an abomination unto the Lord Jashin!"

As Hidan continued antagonizing the laughing ghosts, the rest of Akatsuki was huddled inside a blurry, fog-like field. Orochimaru stood at its center, eyes closed as he muttered to himself, fingers occasionally moving from one hand seal to another. As they watched, one of the tiny round ghosts collided with the field and bounced off with a flare of energy.

"So, this is the ability we heard about, hmm?" asked Danzou, watching the ghosts warily. "A wide-ranged spirit-control technique."

"Yes," mumbled Orochimaru, concentrating intently on his task. "It was easy to deduce this was based on Yin chakra… but defending against it is easier said than done…"

They watched as Hidan finally cut straight through one of the ghosts only to gape as it did absolutely no damage. With a girlish titter, the ghost charged him at high speed, passing directly through his body and coming out the other side. Hidan collapsed to his knees, his face a picture of misery.

"Oh… I'm just a worthless pile of human garbage…" moaned the zealot. "I'd curl up in a trash can, but I can't even find one… Just one more way I'm totally fucking useless… I can't even kill myself anyway, but a quick death would be more than I deserve... Maybe I can dig a hole and just lie in it till I starve…"

The others watched this wordlessly as Hidan began openly crying, unable to muster any of the anger he had felt earlier. The ghosts laughed and resumed circling Orochimaru's protective barrier.

"That's… quite a powerful ability…" muttered Kisame.

"More than we expected," agreed Danzou. "Do you think counter-Genjutsu techniques would help?"

"I doubt it," said Kakuzu. "Not enough to get back to fighting shape, anyway. Anything strong enough to do that to you in under a second is going to be very hard to completely undo."

Abruptly, the ghosts converged, slamming into the edge of the barrier and pushing with all of their might. Lightning crackled across the fog as Orochimaru winced. Slowly, the ghosts pushed inwards, making headway through the field. Danzou backed away slightly, watching as the little white monsters wriggled in front of him.

"Will this shield hold?" asked Danzou.

"You try building a defense against pure Yin chakra," hissed Orochimaru. "This technique was meant to be a useless curiosity and nothing more. It was never refined and it's dreadfully inefficient. Let me focus."

Flicking his fingers through another series of seals, the snake-man increased the chakra being sent to the field. An instant later the ghosts were sent bouncing away from the barrier. Orochimaru took a deep breath, burning through his reserves at a rapid rate.

Unfortunately, it appeared Devil Fruit users possessed largely unlimited amounts of chakra when it came to exercising their abilities. His power, however, was born of merely human efforts. They would be relying on Tobi to advance the plan before his chakra ran out.

That's when the zombies burst into the room, some of them leaping onto Hidan in an attempt to dismember the defenseless man.

"Handle those without stepping outside the field," ordered Orochimaru. "This is only meant to protect against the ghost technique or other Genjutsu. It won't stop zombies from entering this area."

Danzou, Kisame, and Kakuzu looked around at the tiny fifteen-foot wide area protected by the field and scowled. It went without saying that being hit by one of the ghosts while the zombies were in a frenzy would mean death.

Concentrating, Kakuzu's body unfolded, ripping apart at the seams to reveal a cloud of black thread. It squirmed and pulled as it separated into different figures. First emerged a figure wearing a red mask, then came a figure wearing a green mask. Finally, with another pulse of thread-

Danzou's hand snapped out and grabbed Kakuzu by one of his wrists.

"Not that one. Not here," he said, Sharingan visible in his uncovered eye.

"Get your hand off me, Danzou," growled Kakuzu.

Danzou removed his hand, but continued staring.

"I agree with Danzou," said Kisame, unstrapping his scaled sword. "I don't want that thing near me."

"Please refrain from unnecessary destruction," added Orochimaru. "I can't promise what would happen were I to lose focus."

Grudgingly, Kakuzu's body re-absorbed the third growth, and the two other heart-golems leapt out of the field to engage the zombies. The figures shuddered when the ghosts passed through them, but didn't waver in their charge. The four standing Akatsuki members remained inside the field.

This was going to be a very annoying battle until Tobi could complete his mission.

-Main Meeting Room-

"I'm afraid by now your comrades will have already been torn limb from limb! Ki-Ki-shishishi!"

Moria laughed, and his shadow laughed silently along with him. Ignoring the large shadow-figure dancing behind him, Tobi's serious expression lightened somewhat to match Moria's sadistic amusement.

"Heheh, actually I have something to admit myself. The whole, 'you are invited to join us' speech was kind of fake, too. We actually came here to kill you! Oh, but if you wanna join us instead then that would be cool, too!"

Moria's ridiculously-wide mouth curved upwards into a crescent smile. "Oh, really?! You're going to kill me here in my home?! Surrounded by my legions of zombies and powerful servants?!"

Mood bolstered by the good cheer, Tobi began smiling as well. "Yeah! That's the plan, actually! Then we're gonna use your ship for our own nefarious purposes!"

As Moria's shadow-creature slowly brought its dark scissor-blade down to Tobi's throat, Moria smiled wider, his inhuman grin reaching from one side of his face to the other. "That's the plan, huh?! That's friggin' hilarious! I was gonna use your shadow to fill one of my zombies, but I'm not sure if even Oars has a big enough pair of balls!"

Tobi stretched his grin to its limits, his face passing out of the realm of 'amusement' and moving into 'horror-show'. It was so wide it was affecting his speech. "No, my balls are pretty normal! It was one of the first things I checked when I got them! And yeah, we're gonna attack a Celestial Dragon and then we're gonna make it look like it's your fault!"

He paused, then added, "Also, I don't think I can smile any wider than this!"

Now, Moria's grin widened to its absolute limit, freezing into a rictus of rage, as his bloodshot eyes bulged. "You think you're going to do WHAT?!" he yelled, twitching in fury. "PERONA! Shoot this man before I get REALLY pissed off!"

Several white ghosts erupted from the portrait of a headless horseman and shot straight towards Tobi. They struck him and disappeared with a *vroop* noise. Moria's jaw dropped. Then, grunting in annoyance, the shadow creature drew its scissor-blade against Tobi's throat. The shadow warped and twisted, its blade pulled violently into the invisible field that surrounded him.

Tobi, meanwhile, found a little more grin in reserve. Two white tentacles wriggled their way out of his ears, reaching around to his face and pulling his cheeks aside to widen his smile past its limits as he stared unblinkingly back at Moria.

The pale monster-man at the other side of the table dropped his smile, brow furrowing as he stood from his immense throne and backed away.

"Change of plans! Kill them!" shouted Moria.

Noticing movement, Tobi turned to see the invisible man from earlier finally raise his hand. There was an explosion, and a bazooka shell shot straight at the Akatsuki leader, appearing out of thin air. With another flare of power from the Rinnegan, the explosive missile froze in mid-flight, shuddered, and flew right back in the direction it had come from. It struck the invisible assailant in the chest, revealing a patchwork cat-man who was engulfed in a wave of fire and sent crashing through the stone wall.

Tobi turned his head back to Moria, fixing him with his pulled-back grin. As zombies poured into the room, Tobi leapt over the mahogany table and grabbed the Warlord by his head.

"Sorry, but this is the part where I take your soul," he said.

Then things went quite poorly for Moria.

[NINGENDO: KYOKON NO JUTSU]

[HUMAN PATH: SOUL ABSORPTION TECHNIQUE]

A minute later, Tobi burst from the conference room in a hail of discarded undead body parts, their angry owners still chasing after him. He had half hoped that stealing Moria's soul would mean the zombies would obey Tobi, but it looked like it had just made them madder. Still, there was the chance that Orochimaru could make something useful with Moria's body afterwards.

It wasn't as if they had stolen Moria's soul to get his Fruit, after all. A non-Logia power wasn't as useful to them as a sacrifice. No, they had targeted the leader first for an entirely different reason.

Information on the island's defenders and layout filled his head, and he knew what to do next.

"Oh, Peroooooonaaaa-!" he called, running lightly down the corridor and leaping nimbly around and over the legions of zombie defenders. "I know how to fiiiiind yoooouuuu!"

-Perona's Room-

Perona jolted in the seat she'd been lounging in as she felt another wave of her ghosts being absorbed by the field surrounding the Akatsuki leader.

"What the hell?!" screamed the pink-haired ghost princess. "Did that guy just kill Moria?! No way! Screw this, I'm outta here!"

Wasting no time, she hurried to pack some bags. This was her private room, and she had almost everything she'd want for a quick getaway. She'd just have the zombies carry her luggage down to the emergency escape vehicles and…

Wait, if Moria was dead then the zombies wouldn't work any more-

"GRRR, MISTRESS, LOOK!"

"Dammit, Bearsy, for the last time I've told you NEVER TO SPEAK!"

Perona paused, looking over at her lead zombie, an immense stuffed bear wearing a hat and surgical mask.

"Wait, but if you're not dead… then…"

Moria must still be alive. He'd been disabled, but as long as his legions of zombies were still operating, they'd be able to take on these intruders.

Focusing for a moment, she connected back to her Ghost Network, feeling the presence of her scout-weapons all across the island. The rest of Akatsuki was still pinned down in the Main Ambush Chamber, though the only one of them she'd caught with her ghosts so far was proving annoyingly resilient to stabbing and biting.

Their leader, Tobi, was… he was running straight for her section of the mansion, currently on the other side of a large interior courtyard as he danced through lines of zombies like a murderous whirlwind. Oh, that was what Bearsy had been pointing out the window about earlier.

Wait, what?

That had to be a coincidence, right? He couldn't know where she was hiding without intimate knowledge of the maze-like mansion. She summoned more ghosts close to him and began listening in.

I know you can heeear me, Perona! I'm cooooming for yooouuuuu!

Well that was weird. She turned to her pet bear.

"Bearsy, get all the Wild Zombies out there right now! Stop him! Make him pay for what he did to us!"

Trying not to make a noise, the giant stuffed bear gave a nervous salute and then hurried to depart, grabbing its beastly comrades to join the assault on Tobi. They charged out of the doors and poured through the corridors on their way to the fight. Excellent. Tobi might be invulnerable to her negative hollows, but he probably wasn't invulnerable to a good old-fashioned monster mash!

Peeerrroooonaaa! You know what happened to the last person who sicced ghosts on me? Well, no one's actually done that yet, but the next person who tries it is gonna hear, "I ripped out her soul!"

She shivered. This guy was seriously creepy.

Maybe… maybe it was a good idea to pack that bag after all.

No, not yet. There wasn't a fighter in the world she couldn't beat, and there was no reason to think that would change now! She'd beat this entire invading force on her own, and she'd do it from the comfort of her own bedroom! His earlier immunity to her hollows must have been a fluke!

She sent more ghosts Tobi's way and the man jumped into the air, dodging the zombies and taking the ghost-collisions head on. They disappeared just as fruitlessly as the others, and her awareness of them shut down.

"Shit."

Okay then, not a fluke.

Still, her negative hollows weren't the only way she had of fighting. Focusing, more and more tiny ghosts spawned from around her, filling the air with laughing little cohorts.

[MINI-HOLLOW]

Her Mini-Hollows weren't designed to make you depressed. They were designed to kill. Laughing, they disappeared into the walls and information flooded into her mind from the numerous viewpoints they gave her. As they burst out into a large interior waiting room, Tobi looked up excitement as he wrestled a zombie crocodile-woman with pink lipstick to the ground.

The smarter of her zombies jumped back, well aware of what the arrival of her weapons meant.

The Mini-Hollows swarmed in around Tobi and then detonated, a fireworks-display obliterating most of the furniture and stonework in the area. Numerous zombies disappeared under the wall of fire, but that was probably alright. They could be replaced and made even cuter than they had been before!

Finally, Bearsy arrived with his reinforcements, her personal guard charging into the diminishing firestorm to destroy anything that might be left. Without warning, Bearsy exploded backward at extreme speed, rocketing off into the distance from some invisible force. He hit the stone wall like a bullet and flattened as his mostly hollow insides collapsed from the intense collision.

Tobi emerged from the smoke with a light cough, mostly unharmed. Suddenly free of any gripping zombies, the ninja blurred into motion, disappearing into the next room as her ghosts hurried to follow.

Don't worry, Perona! It's actually going to be over pretty quickly! There's no pain! I promise it won't be unbearable- oh, geez, sorry, that must seem a bit insensitive at this point. I honestly didn't mean to make that pun.

Perona blanched.

"Okay! I was very wrong! I can't beat him after all!" she cried, and then ran out of the room.

She had to get out of here! What the hell had she done to deserve this?! Almost crying, she dashed out into the halls, the noise of her red platform heels on the stones echoing in every direction. She immediately realized her mistake when her ghosts saw Tobi pause in his zombie-slaying several rooms down and turn his head her way.

She gulped and ducked into one of her workshops. Nope, running wasn't gonna work very well either. This guy was way too fast for her.

Wait. Maybe… Maybe there was another way to sneak out of here?

But boy she did not like it.

Steeling herself for the only chance she had, Perona ducked into a closet and closed the door. Propping herself up against the wall, she subsumed herself in her power, losing focus and letting her spirit drift away.

[HOLLOW SOUL]

Just like that, she stepped out of her own body. What stood up inside the closet was a perfect ghost replica of her own form. Though her real body would remain unconscious in the closet, she could use this technique to lead Tobi far enough away that she could escape in the confusion.

She tittered, once again filled with confidence. No one ever expected the clone strategy.

She dashed out into the halls, letting Tobi catch a glimpse of her as she ran.

-Main Ambush Room-

Though the room smelled of scorched zombie flesh, the Akatsuki defenders knew the moment that Perona became distracted. The ghosts lost all sense of cohesion in their assault on the field, wandering about and investigating whatever looked interesting.

"That's… it... for me…" muttered Orochimaru, letting the field collapse and slumping to the ground.

The others surveyed the wreckage of the former room.

"Alright," said Danzou. "You all know what to do. Kisame, you're with me. There are still ghosts about, so watch your step."

Like that, everyone disappeared except for Hidan- who was bleeding in a heap in the corner- and Orochimaru- who was completely out of energy. It was time to find and crush the major centers of resistance.

Two minutes later, Perona was freaking out. In her ghost form she had rapidly outpaced her zombie guardians, but Tobi had followed with intense speed, sometimes even making it ahead of her. If she didn't know better she might think he knew the castle better than she did. The only hints she had of his presence were occasional glimpses she got from her ghosts and his singsong voice echoing through the halls.

Are we having fun yet, Perona? I've got a mission to do, though, so I can't play for long!

The voice came from ahead, and she ducked through a wall to put more distance between them. Perona ran and ran, until, all of a sudden, she couldn't hear him any more.

She stopped.

She hadn't… lost him, had she? He'd been way too good at tracking her so far, and she really wanted to keep leading him away from her real body. She retraced her steps, ghosts fruitlessly scouring the halls. At any moment she was ready to come face to face with her pursuer.

But nothing happened. He was gone.

"Tobi...? Are you there?"

No response.

She... she'd feel a lot better about this if she knew where he was.

She searched for another minute before a terrible feeling crept up her spine. She needed to leave now. Quickly, she had her ghosts scan the escape route from her workshop to her getaway ship. Nothing there except stray zombie parts.

Okay. Now was the time. She let go of the technique and returned to her body.

Tobi was in the closet with her, grinning from just inches away.

"I found you," he whispered.

-Twenty Minutes Later-

"Welp…" said Tobi, looking over the smoking wreckage and scattered zombie parts that littered the inside of the mansion's main room. "I think that went pretty well, all things considered."

With the defeat of Moria, Akatsuki had a lot to do to prepare for the next stage of their plans. All of the intelligence they had spent a week on Water-7 gathering had led them to this moment. Orochimaru was even now experimenting with the body to see if its Fruit would be willing to aid them. The Kage-Kage no Mi was expendable, but capturing it would be a coup nonetheless.

The rest of Akatsuki would stay here and prepare the battlefield for the real challenge that lay ahead of them. This had been only Part One of their plan, after all. In many ways it was the least important task.

Advancing to the docks, Tobi summoned his personal steed, a tremendous dire-shark that was studded with strange metallic piercings. This was the only animal he had ever had the patience to alter so that he had complete control over it. The others, like Mister Crabby, obeyed him unquestioningly but were… unpredictable. It was like the difference between trying to order around your loyal but only half-trained dog, versus implanting chakra receivers into its nervous system and controlling its body directly.

Exactly like that, Tobi mused.

Still, even untrained they would be perfect for what he planned next. Swimming out of the island-ship's harbour, he moved into open waters, summoning more and more marine animals as he went, each one spreading out to search a wide area as he angled toward his destination, following the Log Pose to the Red Line. Not that he intended to go to the mountain itself just yet. His destination was directly beneath that mountain.

The Sabaody Archipelago.

As Tobi left the island, a large figure watched him from a hidden part of the port. He was a bear of a man dressed in black clothing and holding an odd Bible. Ten minutes later, he had disappeared from the island entirely.

After nearly a full day of searching, Tobi's sea-creatures finally found their target just a hundred miles off the coast.

-Paradise End-

-Sabaody Archipelago-

Celestial Dragon. World Noble. Descendant of Kings. These were the names that Saint Charloss took esteem in. His authority was unquestionable, and he would one day rule as a god. As he had known from birth, his was one of the generations of nobility that could truly inherit this world. A thousand years of iron-fisted rule would finally culminate within the next twenty to forty years, and then the World Nobles would become omnipotent.

All this was both completely obvious and completely right, of course.

But all that was so tiring. It was time to take a break from the burden of having so much responsibility and just enjoy himself for a change. Yes, a shopping trip to the Sabaody Archipelago was just what he deserved right now. He had always loved seeing what the little people got up to in their little lives, and Sabaody always had the most interesting slaves.

First, however, came dinner. Saint Charloss sat at a luxuriously-appointed dining table covered with delicacies from all across the world, and he was just now finishing his dessert. Though there was enough food for twenty people, no one else shared his meal with him. Of course this was the case- how could they? The cleaning staff was only allowed to enter the room in thickly insulated suits, to avoid sullying the air with their presence, and even the master-chef prepared his dishes in isolation. The very idea that someone who wasn't a member of the Nobility would enter his room without protection and… open their lowly mouths…

It made him shudder.

One of his slaves in particular came to mind, and Saint Charloss had more than half a mind to have him beaten for the affront of entering his thoughts without permission.

He'd sailed across the ocean in the sleekest and most expensive ship that money could buy. Not that the ship had been purchased with anything so crass as 'money' in the first place. This ship was not purchased with Beli, but by processes of wealth so esoteric that they were difficult to describe. This also meant that it was literally priceless, a fact that bothered him somewhat, as it made ostentatious displays of his wealth a bit more difficult.

As he finished dining, he looked out from the crowning glory of his ship- the immense glass bubble that held his entire living suite. It dominated the deck, and it had its own entirely isolated air and life-support system containing only air stored and recycled from the Holy Land, Mariejois itself.

Of course, this meant that anyone on the deck would be able to see him, but that was why the entire crew was absolutely forbidden from setting foot on the deck under any circumstances. Simple solutions to simple problems.

Hmm… actually, it seemed as though something else might be about to soil the air. His guts were rumbling. Perhaps the seventh course had been a bit too much, after all. Standing, he quickly made his way to the bathroom facilities.

It was when he was finally starting to feel relieved that a man stepped out of his toiletry closet, causing him to scream as his bowels tightened in fear.

"Oh!" exclaimed the man in the driftwood mask, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention and got the timing wrong. I didn't think you would still be pooping!"

Saint Charloss quickly fumbled for the device around his neck that would summon the guards, but before he could press it the strap exploded as the device flew out of his hands, landing firmly in the grip of his mystery-assailant. The man continued introducing himself as if nothing had happened.

"Hi! I'm Tobi!" he said, walking across the enormous bathroom, "I don't want to interrupt, but I am sort of busy. I'm here to kill you, but I'm not so heartless that I'd stop you from what you're doing, so just relax and… you know- do what comes naturally!"

"What are you doing here?!" screamed Saint Charloss, "Don't you know that attacking a Celestial Dragon will provoke a military response from the Admiralty?! They'll know when I go missing! My schedule is on file with the monitors!"

Stunned by this sudden invasion, Charloss tried to fumble with his pants and stand from the toilet, but the instant he rose he was pushed back into the seat by some oppressive force. The man in the driftwood mask was looking directly at him with his strange eyes.

"I know what it all means," said Tobi. "In fact, that's what we're hoping for! And you're going to help us!"

The force pressing him to the toilet made it difficult to even breath. "Me… help you?! Not even... if I die! You're beyond help now… you horrible commoner!"

Now Tobi stood beside him, looking down with concern and placing one hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, big guy. You can die and still help us. Don't worry about that right now! Just finish your business, alright?"

"Why… me…?" he choked out, losing his breath.

"Shh-shh-shh-sh-shhhh…" Tobi cooed and brushed Saint Charloss' coiffed hair almost affectionately as he shushed him. "No talking… only pooping now... then the sweet embrace of death… Are you done...? No? You don't want to go after all...? Oh well… your loss."

[NINGENDO: KYOKON NO JUTSU]

[HUMAN PATH: ABSORPTION SOUL TECHNIQUE]

Tobi's eyes flared with power. The last thing Saint Charloss felt was his soul being ripped from his body.

It was a distinct experience.

Moments later, Tobi straightened up. The Absorption Soul technique took every last memory from its target, and now he was finally possessed of the knowledge of a Celestial Dragon who had intimate facility with Mariejois and the Divine Tree. It took a few minutes to work through it all, but he was now certain.

He had absolutely everything he needed to enact his master plan successfully. They could move on the Tree as soon as the final step of this operation was complete.

Well, that is, only if this was successful, and he'd just found a problem.

It appeared that his plan of calling on an Admiral to respond to the assault had a small snag. While the Admiralty were legally obligated to respond personally to any assault on the nobility, Akatsuki's larger plan would run into long-term complications unless he could impersonate Saint Charloss. Apparently, a Celestial Dragon had a device in their body designed to identify them as a true World Noble and prevent just such a subterfuge. Scanning the body, Tobi soon found it- a tiny little chip hidden at the base of the skull.

No sooner than he had discovered the chip than the Asura Path of the Rinnegan began whispering to him. It analyzed the chip, speaking of circuits, digital logic, and cryptographic encoding techniques.

Tobi didn't like that part of the Rinnegan. It kept telling him to do things like, 'replace your arm with a laser cannon,' or 'consider the benefits of manly hydraulics', or 'can you really be satisfied without possessing robotic tentacles,' and Tobi was quite happy to keep the body he had, thank you very much. He'd worked hard to get a real organic body with all sorts of human biological functions and he wasn't about to give it up.

He let his eyes roam over the chip until he was satisfied. The Asura Path helpfully informed him that this was easily the most advanced piece of technology he had ever seen before, and the person who had designed it was a true genius.

But, hey, who needs genius when you have eyes like these, huh?

He could deal with this, no problem. It sang to him, just like every other piece of machinery out there.

Part Two completed. Now it was time for Part Three of his four-part plan.

It was time to take the world by storm.

A/N: Tobi's driving us straight off the rails here.

Don't think for a second that this is going to make things easier.