Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. That much has always been clear to those of us who have studied Potter-lore.

I found out (with some surprise) that "aberrado" is a real Spanish word, meaning "aberrated".

Special thanks to reviewers geetac and vanclief09. I paid attention to their remarks and rewrote the paragraph, starting with "Thank you, madam".

About formatting:
For direct quotes I use italicized font.

Goblet of Fire turned red once more; sparks showered out of it; the tongue of flame shot high into the air, and from its tip Dumbledore pulled the third piece of parchment.
"The Hogwarts champion," he said importantly, looked at the parchment and … froze.
Everybody looked at him with bewilderment.
Dumbledore frowned, looked around and finished with forced calmness: "is Cedric Diggory."

Harry started clapping politely, but noticed that he was the only one doing it. He stopped and, confused, turned to his friends.
"What the …" Ron slowly began speaking but Hermione interrupted: "Look" and pointed to the head table.
Indeed, something strange was going on with the goblet.
Its flame was flickering like trying to produce one more piece of parchment.
Everybody was watching, holding their breath.
The flame got big and bright again, but then, like somebody poured water on the fire, the goblet huffed and puffed and went still.
Its fire was extinguished.

The deafening silence fell on Great Hall; people looked at each other, and then, one by one, they all turned their heads and stared at Harry.
"Splendid" said Dumbledore in unnaturally happy voice, "Well, we now have our three champions."
But, it seemed the heads of two visiting schools would have none of that.
"Dumbly-dorr, what is ze meaning of zis?" roared madam Maxime in genuinely angry voice.
"I'd also like to hear the answer, Dumbledore," said Karkaroff in artificially surprised voice, "I clearly remember that we all were assured that Hogwarts champion will be …" and he finished with humorless smile "Everybody-Knows-Who".
Dumbledore sighed desperately and called: "Harry Potter, would you please come here!"
The-Not-Chosen-One stood up and lamely walked to the teachers table.

The argument was in full swing.
- Why do you complain? Without Harry your students have at least some chance at winning!
- Who cares about winning your stupid contest!
- After a few years everybody forgets who won and who lost!
- But wiz Potter it would be known as 'Arry Potter Tournament for eternity!
- For eternity and beyond!
- And all who competed against him would become instant celebrities!
- Let me assure you, it's no one's fault but Potter's (that was, of course, Snape speaking).
- Well, he is here, let's ask him!

"Stop!" professor McGonagall raised her voice: "He is in my house; let me ask him." She swallowed hard and gently asked (well, tried to ask): "Harry, did you …"
"I did not do it." Harry quickly blurted out.
- You did not do what?
- I did not put my name into the Goblet.
(Yes, dear reader, that's how naïve our hero was.)

The big eyes of madam Maxime grew even bigger.
Karkaroff's jaw dropped.
McGonagall gritted her teeth and looked away.
Mad-Eye Moody stared at Harry with disbelief.
Hargid winked conspiratorially.
Snape remarked dryly: "Not funny, Potter. One point from Gryffindor."
"Only one?" asked astonished Harry.
"You want more? By all means, Potter," Snape's face broke into a broad smile, "One hundred and one points from Gryffindor."

Dumbledore cleared his throat and said in his most amiable voice: "Fortunately we have among us an esteemed guest from the Department of Nonsenses, who can clarify this minor point once and for all. Xantippe, would you please,..."
A nice-looking witch, whom Harry did not notice before, politely nodded and said with confidence: "The Goblet chooses the parchment-droppers. That much has always been clear to those of us who are learned in Goblet-lore."

"Thank you, madam," Dumbledore nodded slightly and turned back to Harry.
He spoke patiently, like explaining something to a small kid:
"Harry, nobody is accusing you of putting your name into the Goblet. It was not necessary. As you've just heard, the Goblet itself does all the work. All these parchment pieces, age lines and so on are just for show.
We all saw that the Goblet tried to name you a champion but was unable to. Now, let me ask you straightforward question. Harry, did you remove your name from the Goblet?"
"Why that stupid Goblet wanted to make me a champion?" thought Harry, "I've defeated Voldemort only three times and killed just one basilisk; and now they think I'm kinda hero?"
Aloud he said only "No, sir."

Snape looked sideways at Dumbledore and slowly spoke in suggestive tone: "Ve-ri-ta-se …".
"No need for drastic measures," quickly interrupted Dumbledore, "Harry, I think you may go back to your..."
"Not so fast, Double-Bore!" double-interrupted madam Maxime, "I say, lit ze Goblet again and make it choose ze proper…"
"Excuse me," triple-interrupted the witch from the Nonsense-of-Department, "but the Goblet won't reignite until the next tournament and, before you get any funny ideas, let me tell you what…"
She took a breath, straightened up and said firmly: "As soon as the name of potential contestant does not come out of the Goblet of Fire, the said potential contestant is bound by magical contract not to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. Period."

"Ze 'eck wiz your magical contract!" shouted enraged madam Maxime.
Malevolent smile appeared on Karkaroff's face and he said in silky voice: "Headmistress, are you suggesting Unheckable Vow?"
"Un'eckable Vow?! Zat is really … Wow!" the huge woman smiled back with glee.
"Good; Now, we need somebody to bind the vow…" Karkaroff looked around.

"Peeves is here, at your service, Professorheads" the mischievous poltergeist swooped down.
Madam Maxime and Karkaroff took out their wands and gripped them in such a way, that Harry never saw before.
They set their wands sticking out from their fists between middle and ring fingers, creating the impression of enormous middle fingers.
Peeves immediately played along and stuck out both of his crooked middle fingers.

Madam Maxime declared: "On ze magic of Beauxbatons I solemnly svair, zat if 'Arry Potter does not participate in Triwizard Tournament, zen my school would not participate eezair" – a pink thread flew out of her wand and wrapped itself around one of Peeves' middle fingers – and she finished with force: "and ZE 'ECK wiz consequences!"

Karkaroff proclaimed: "On the magic of Durmstrang I solemnly swear that my students shall not participate in Triwizard Tournament unless Harry Potter also participates in said tournament" – a blue thread flew out of his wand and wrapped itself around Peeves' other middle finger – and he finished with power: "and THE HECK with consequences!"

Peeves became oddly serious and said in profound voice: "By the magic of Hogwarts Castle I solemnly bind the magic of vow to the lives of vow givers - he made a few lightning-quick movements with his hands, tying both threads into a knot – and finished with determination: "and THE HECK with consequences!"

The threads burst into flames. The low rumble sounded, like the castle itself affirmed the Vow.
A strange expression appeared on Moody's face – a mixture of surprise, hate and fear.
Dumbledore turned pale; his eyes met Harry's and he motioned with his hand: go!

Hurry turned and walked back to his place at the Gryffindor table.
His two best friends looked at him as if they saw the real him for the first time.
Harry said defensively: "Why are you staring at me? I did not remove my name from the Goblet, you know I didn't."
Ron grinned: "We understand, mate, you can tell us."
Harry turned to Hermione: "What do you think? Do you believe me?"
Hermione looked away and said in small voice: "I want to believe you, Harry, but… really… how… I cannot remember a single book where the hero would turn down a challenge. Not a single book!"

Harry sighed and turned his attention to the head table, where the heated argument grew louder and louder.
- Dumbbell-door, you must do somezing!
- Oh, you made this mess and now you want somebody else to clean it up?
- It was your goblet 'oo started ze mess!
- And your unhinged poltergeist who completed it!
The whole Great Hall, it seemed, turned into bedlam. People were shouting, fists were waved, the first wands were drawn …

Suddenly a deep hoarse voice covered the entire ruckus:
"Three things will happen tonight."
And such overwhelming power was in that voice that everybody else stopped talking at once.
In the moment of silence that followed, Harry, with sick feeling in his stomach, remembered when he heard that voice before – at the end of previous school year, when the same voice predicted the escape of Wormtail.
The voice resumed:
"The father will be freed.
The son will be captured.
And the cork will be reunited with night radiance."

Please review!

Well, it's obvious, that Voldemort arranged for Harry to be excluded from tournament.
But why?
It took me long time to think up a reason; you will learn it in next chapter.

I'm curious if anybody can suggest some alternative reason?
Something humorous… thanks in advance.