The Straw-Hats left Water-7 in a hurry, desperate to get out of town before Luffy's grandfather decided to give them all a taste of his unique form of punishment. Garp began lobbing cannonballs single-handed from the very moment he had come into sight, but it was Ace who stole their thunder, dashing through the Marine formation on his high-speed surf-ship and leading them in the opposite direction.
It was a move that Luffy and Franky both insisted was highly unnecessary, but it was welcomed by the more pragmatic members of the crew. It did, however, mean that Franky would have to wait to show off the Sunny's promised 'high-speed evasion technology,' whatever that was.
They left Water-7 behind them, and then days passed with barely an incident.
Though Sakura, Hinata, and Robin had gotten quite used to living in a large ship, the Thousand Sunny was a completely new experience for most of the Straw-Hats. Whereas the Merry had been stuffed almost to bursting by its crew, the Sunny had room to spare. It was now easy to disappear if privacy was needed, and even the deck was large enough to have its secluded spots.
Nami had been appreciating the isolation after weeks of close-quarters hijinx, working alone in a workshop to unpack her cartography equipment. She was almost done when she felt the weather change drastically.
The Grand Line would allow no delay in responding to such things, so she quickly hurried up to the deck, passing through the far more spacious rooms and corridors that smelled of strange, fragrant timber.
When she arrived on deck, she saw the world in front of them disappearing into a dark and foreboding mist. Though the weather had been slightly overcast before, there was an abrupt transition between the more natural weather and the deep fog that lay ahead. Still, they didn't look like storm-clouds...
She looked down to her wrist and found that the Log Pose was indeed pointing them straight ahead into the fog.
She sighed and went to get some more information from the best source she had. First she would have to find the woman.
Naruto and Sasuke had more or less returned to hanging out with the two newest ninja visitors down on the grassy lawn that covered the Sunny's lower deck. Not that she blamed them. The two girls were clearly good people- you know, for assassins- and Sakura seemed like a kindred spirit in several ways. Still, they hadn't really blended in yet, and Nami didn't have the heart to break the news that Luffy already thought they were going to be permanent members of the crew.
Speaking of Luffy, he, Chopper, and Usopp were crowding around the patch of dirt that housed the carefully-nurtured sprout that had grown from the Going Merry's cherry pit. Nami had been teaching Chopper how to care for fruit trees as part of her efforts to transplant her tangerines to the new ship, and Chopper was dutifully repeating her lessons.
Franky was still adding finishing touches to the ship, working on some odd machines deep inside the ship's bowels. Honestly, she was happy to leave him to it.
Zoro was almost certainly training up in the odd new crow's nest. She had no idea why Franky had decided they needed a large, spacious room up on top of the mast, but their stoic swordsman seemed to like it.
Sanji was working on the kitchen. Franky may have been many things, but culinary genius he was not, and that meant lots of preparation so that Sanji's workspace was organized to his exacting standards.
Finally, she found Robin inside the library, where she had accumulated a treasure trove of books, though where she had acquired them Nami was not at all certain.
"We've hit an odd patch of bad weather, and I'm hoping you know something about it," Nami asked.
Robin smiled that enigmatic smile of hers and nodded, as if she had expected this for ages now.
"The Florian Triangle? Of course. Yes, there are a number of important things you should know before we enter it."
So Robin told her. Nami, for her part, listened in horror as the bad news kept piling up, delivered cheerfully and without reservation.
"... You know, you really have a problem with holding back important information…" said Nami, once she had calmed down.
"I don't see what the problem is. Luffy wants mystery and adventure, and I'll gladly give it to him."
"Yeah, well… I think we need to take the mystery out of this particular adventure sooner rather than later. I'm getting everyone together, and I want you to tell them what you told me."
"I can certainly do that," agreed Robin.
So the crew gathered under the increasingly dim sky, watching sea-birds turn away from the accursed clouds before them in increasing numbers. The level of dread felt by each individual was wildly varying, from Chopper and Usopp, who were already looking on in wide-eyed horror, to Zoro, who had gotten bored and was falling asleep.
"Alright everyone," said Nami, "We're heading into a new part of the sea, and it sounds like it could be trouble. Robin has agreed to tell us about this area, which is apparently called the 'Florian Triangle.' Right, Robin?"
Robin nodded, still smiling as she became the center of attention.
"Correct. The Florian Triangle is a dangerous area of the Grand Line that has never been fully explored. Responsible for disappearances, hauntings, and sightings of monstrous creatures, the only thing that can be said to its benefit is that not even marauders operate in this godforsaken area of the sea. Everyone who travels these routes knows deep in their hearts that only a fate worse than death awaits trespassers, and those who venture into its overcast shadow do so fearfully, watching over their shoulders on sleepless nights and terror-fraught days as they curse whatever wretched instinct led them to pass this way."
There was a stunned silence as several members of the crew began the process of preparing to scream. Robin waited just enough before adding, "Well, that's what they say, anyway. It's true that people avoid this area, generally purchasing Eternal Poses to other lines if they must rely on the Log Pose at all, but all of that is just legend. I don't think we'll run into anything truly horrifying out here."
Unfortunately, it was too late for Usopp, who was busy retrieving his tongue from the floor after it had fallen from his mouth and wriggled away to hide in the corner.
"Robin…" said Nami, eyes wide as she took this in. "That is… much worse than the speech you gave me earlier!"
Robin smiled wider. "After a little thought, I decided to improve it."
"Please don't improve things like that in the future!"
And so, the Thousand Sunny moved on into the fog with great uncertainty, pushing onward despite the reservations of some of the crew. As the fog grew thicker, Usopp struggled between his instinct to curl up indoors and mutter fearfully to himself, and his desire to not crash into any unseen land-masses. He disappeared into his workshop, and when he emerged back on deck he had donned a dark cloak, black hat, and his Tengu mask, as if this change in appearance might protect him from unknown dangers.
Hours passed without incident, though that didn't stop Usopp from firing a few frightened pellets into the mist at threats that might have been real but were probably just imagined. Most of the rest of the crew found other things to do, returning to their routine of settling in.
Until something odd happened.
"D… does anyone else hear something?" asked Chopper, who had stuck with the others in his nervousness.
"Like what?" asked Naruto, who had stayed nearby.
"It sounds like… singing?"
A musical baritone voice became audible through the mists, muffled by distance and the noises of the waves. It drifted across the ship, sourceless and lost. Though the song seemed cheerful, it was sung with a wistful loneliness, as if thinking of missing friends.
Yo hohoho, yo hoho-ho... Yo hohoho, yo hoho-ho
Gather up all of the crew, it's time to ship out Binks' brew.
Sea wind blows, to where, who knows? The waves will be our guide.
O'er across the ocean's tide. Rays of sunshine far and wide.
Birds they sing, of cheerful things, in circles passing by.
There was a faint slamming noise, and then the song faded away into indistinct inaudibility.
The crew looked to each other with uncertainty, and then turned to Sasuke to solve this mystery. Gathering his power, the Sharingan pierced the mists.
"There's a ship out there in the distance," said Sasuke, peering through the fog. "I don't see anyone on it... except…"
He paused, rubbing at his eyes, and then looked again.
"... Hinata, could you take a look over there too? I'm not sure what I'm seeing."
These words failed to inspire confidence in the more frightened section of the crew, who began muttering about ghost ships. Hinata also looked concerned, but she activated the Byakugan and took a look herself. A tense moment passed, and then she frowned.
"I'm sorry, it's definitely something like a person, but…"
"Like they're blurred out by a big, hazy chakra cloud?" finished Sasuke.
She nodded.
The others didn't seem reassured by this, helplessly imagining a variety of nightmarish horrors from the depths of human legend.
"Hold on. Did you say 'something like a person, except blurred out?'" asked Usopp, wanting to get the details straight so he knew what kind of freakout to muster.
"T-That sounds scary!" cried Chopper, understating the matter quite expertly.
"Well, that settles that," agreed Nami. "Let's get the hell away from here."
"You'll have to be quick," said Sasuke. "We're turning that way right now."
"W-what?!" cried Nami.
Sure enough, up at the prow of the ship, Luffy was manhandling the wheel in the right direction. Chants of 'Ad-ven-ture! Ad-ven-ture! Ad-ven-ture!' reached them even from where they stood.
"LUFFY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" screamed Usopp, sprinting across the large deck in an futile effort to prevent the inevitable. He grabbed Luffy by the head and pulled, stretching his neck several feet away from the wheel, but utterly failing to dislodge their captain's firm grip on the wheel.
"Come on, Usopp!" cajoled Luffy's errant head, "We're in a mystery ocean, and it's been ages since we've had an adventure! We gotta do this!"
"A WEEK! It's been one week! Pretty sure we can take a break!"
"Usopp, give it up!" yelled Sanji. "You know he's not gonna listen. All we can do is make sure we don't crash into anything!"
Letting Luffy's head snap back into place, Usopp turned back towards Sasuke. "Goddammit, you're the Lookout, so tell us what's coming already!"
"What? I already told you. There's a ship with some person-thing on it. It's in that direction," said Sasuke, pointing off into the fog.
"STOP BEING TERRIBLE AND TELL US WHAT IT IS!" screamed Usopp.
Sasuke sighed.
"Alright. I suppose there's more than one way to scout this fog. I'll be right back."
With that, Sasuke ran to the side of the ship and jumped overboard. Instead of falling, he just kept jumping.
[GEPPOU]
Sasuke disappeared, flying off into the mist with a series of muffled thumps as he kicked off the air. Sakura and Hinata's jaws dropped in shock.
"What…? Did he just fly away?" asked Sakura. "He couldn't do that before! ...Why is no one else surprised by this?"
"Oh, right, I guess you wouldn't know," said Naruto. "So, he saw one of those crazy assassins we were fighting flying, and he copied it with the Sharingan."
"I… I don't think the Sharingan works like that… does it?"
"Hey, don't look at me. I'm not gonna tell him how his eyes are supposed to work. Besides, he got flight outta the deal, so I'm not complaining."
"But if it's just some physical technique and chakra control or something… could someone like Gai learn to do that? That's just ridiculous!"
"So you do think this is crazy," interrupted Nami, sounding distinctly relieved. "Oh, man, I'm glad it's not just me. He's been doing all this off-the-wall stuff all the time and Naruto here just takes it in stride like it's nothing special! I was beginning to think all you ninjas were like that!"
"No," insisted Hinata. "I mean… none of us can fly!"
"Hey! Over here!" shouted Sasuke's muffled voice through the mist. "Pull away before you crash!"
A burst of flame revealed Sasuke's position, and it was both startlingly close and also quite a bit above them. Luffy hurriedly wrenched the ship to starboard, narrowly avoiding a collision as they pulled alongside. Then, Franky stepped up to the helm and pressed a small button at the controls. A set of mechanical arms unfolded from the spars, pulling at rigging and furling the sails automatically.
"I call it, the Franky Puppet Show!" exclaimed Franky, though in this case no one was paying attention, because the mystery ship had just come into sight.
It was enormous. The ship towered over them, making even the Thousand Sunny look miniscule in comparison to the point that even the top spars wouldn't reach up to the other deck. Beyond that, it was a ghost ship right out of someone's dreams or nightmares. It looked as though it had been torn to pieces in a bloody battle, then left to weather storm after storm for a century, only clinging on to buoyancy by sheer chance.
There was no delay before Luffy stretched out his arms and launched himself over to the ghost ship, laughing all the way into the foggy dark. Sasuke called out again.
"Naruto? Sakura? Don't get scared on me here."
"Pshh, yeah right," said Naruto, and then all three other ninjas leapt up to the top sparring and jumped over to the ghost-ship, running straight up the hull to disappear after Luffy.
After that, Franky got up from his position at the helm, cracking his knuckles as he walked to the port side.
"Well, these crazy kids need an adult for supervision, and I wanna get a look at that ship. Time to go kick a ghost in the balls."
With that, Franky left as well, jumping onto the floating hulk and hauling himself hand over hand up the rigging.
Sanji quickly ran the numbers on ladies present versus ladies on the away team and came up with a tie. That crucial calculation done, he decided to stay with the Sunny, at least until Sasuke's voice echoed down again.
"What, is that it? Come on over!"
"What kind of idiot does he take us for?" muttered Sanji. "It's just a dumb ghost ship. It's just going to be a bunch of decaying skeletons and moldy floorboards."
Several seconds passed.
"Man, after all that stuff we went through I didn't think you'd all be frightened of something like this…"
"Oh, he did not just say that," growled Sanji, jumping off the Sunny and climbing rapidly up the side of the ghost ship. In moments he was gone to join the others, leaving the rest of the crew to cower or ignore their current predicament as the case might be.
The ghost-ship was just as decrepit as its exterior had advertised. The rigging was frayed or non-existent, the sails were disintegrating, and the deck planks were warped and twisted from decades exposed to the elements.
"Good," said Sasuke. "I'm glad you all came over. It'd be a shame to miss out on whatever this is."
"Man, like I'd really miss a chance to see a ghost ship," said Naruto. "This is awesome! How long do you think this has been floating around out here?"
"At least forty years," said Franky, assessing the situation instantly with a ship-breaker's eye. "That's how long it's been since anyone was looking after this lady properly. She could have been sailing for long before that, too."
"A ship this size just floating around for decades?" asked Hinata, turning in every direction as she began walking along the deck. "Is this what happens when a crew abandons their ship?"
"What? No way," said Franky. "Trust me. A ship this size you'd be lucky if it lasted a year without care. Even something this big gets little holes and leaks that'll build up and fill the bilges, and it just gets worse from there. Nah, someone… or something is doing the bare minimum to keep this lady afloat."
"...Something?" asked Sakura, grinning under a skeptically raised eyebrow.
"Well, hey, it is a ghost-ship."
"Sure," said Sasuke, "And it looks like our ghost is that way."
He pointed off towards the stern of the ship, and Luffy was on the case immediately, dashing off while shouting excitedly about ghosts. Moments later a section of the deck collapsed under his weight and he disappeared into the depths with a scream.
"Okay, so, watch your step and don't fall in any holes, I guess," said Sasuke.
"Aren't you guys going to help him," asked Sakura.
"Huh? Why would we do that?" asked Naruto.
"Hold on," said Sanji. "You two are still newbies when it comes to watching Luffy. He might not need the help himself, but the longer he's out of sight the more likely it is he'll cause the rest of us trouble."
Sakura's grin intensified. "Sounds like someone just volunteered."
"Oh goddammit, I did, didn't I? Alright, I'm going after him. Try to find that ghost before he catches it and gets possessed or something."
With that, Sanji disappeared down the hole heading after their wayward captain and the rest of them proceeded onward, following Franky's lead as his shipbuilder's instincts guided them through corridors and halls that he'd never seen before.
"Alright, so I still don't get why everyone follows this Luffy guy," said Sakura, once the long-term crew-members were out of sight. "He's got no awareness, no restraint, and he acts thoughtlessly. If someone like him was a ninja he'd be dead in a week."
Naruto looked embarrassed at this, but a flash of irritation crossed Sasuke's face before melting away.
"Look," said Sasuke. "You know how the Academy always drilled stealth, trickery, and assassination into everyone, but it was always clear that there were really two types of shinobi out there in the village?"
"Sure. Assassins and warriors. They pretended like it wasn't a thing, but everyone knew it was true."
"Right, because someone like Naruto here might never make it on high-ranking stealth-missions, but he would be really valuable if a war broke out, or if there was an all-out assault on our team."
"Hey, screw you, man," said Naruto, grinning proudly. "Stop making me sound so damn awesome."
"So you're saying," began Hinata, "that Luffy is more of a 'warrior?'"
Sakura shook her head in disbelief. "Sasuke, the other day I saw him trip on his way to the kitchen and get stuck upside-down in a linen closet. What about that screams 'warrior' to you?"
"Yeah, well, you didn't see what I saw," said Sasuke, counting things off on his fingers. "First, he headbutted Danzou out into the ocean. Second, he fought the Kyuubi alone when it had two tails out for an entire minute, just to make sure we got Naruto out okay. Third, he sank an entire island by slamming a super-powered leopard-man into the bedrock with a foot the size of a house."
"And lemme tell you," interrupted Franky. "Rob Lucci was a monster. I really mean that. One of those guys that make you think the word 'unbeatable' was made especially for them. Luffy definitely doesn't have that kind of aura about him, but he's the one who was still standing in the end, not Lucci."
Still looking a bit uncomfortable, Naruto added his opinion.
"I think he broke one of Orochimaru's ribs, too, back before we left. It was hard to tell, but I think that's what happened right before he flew off to the ship. And, geez, when I went to thank him for saving my life by holding me back while the Kyuubi was going crazy, do you know what he said? He said, 'what the hell are you talking about? I don't remember anything like that.'"
"Wait, he forgot he fought the Kyuubi?" asked Sakura.
"I dunno, alright? It's hard to talk to him sometimes."
"So, yeah," finished Sasuke. "He's got the muscle to back all this absent-mindedness up. And though he seems like he's never paying attention, somehow he's always bringing his A-game whenever it turns out we were in a shitty situation. He was the first one to notice Robin was lying to us to save our lives back when we were captured, even though he couldn't put it in words. He's larger than life, and he cares about everyone here, too."
As Sakura took this in, Sasuke added, "Hinata. Sakura. I'm just about completely certain he'd fight and die for you two as well, even though you just met him."
"W-what?" asked Hinata. "Just because we're your friends?"
"I don't know," said Sasuke. "I can't figure him out yet. That's just what I think would happen."
"Alright, hold on," interrupted Sakura. "I hate to put this on hold, but I hear something. Do you hear that singing again?"
Everyone went quiet, and then they heard the voice again along with an indistinct hissing noise coming from much closer than before. Sasuke quickly dashed ahead, not even causing the ancient floorboards to squeak as he advanced as a scout. A minute later, the singing had paused and Sasuke returned unharmed.
"Whoever it is," muttered Sasuke, "They're taking a shower. I didn't go inside yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not really a ghost."
"A shower?" asked Naruto.
Sure enough, as they approached, the earlier indistinct noises resolved into the familiar sounds of spraying water. Carefully, the ninjas plus Franky crept further through the musty halls, stopping just outside a door to a communal head and bathing area. They snuck inside, and then their mystery inhabitant resumed singing, the crooning sound resonating throughout the ship.
We three, we're all alone, living in a memory
My echo, my shadow and me.
We three, we're not a crowd, we're not even company
My echo, my shadow, and me.
What good is the moonlight, the silvery moonlight
That shines above-
I walk with my shadow, I talk with my echo
But where is the one I-
That was when a bare skeleton with a thick black afro walked out of the shower and saw everyone watching him in abject horror.
"KYAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the skeleton, leaping backwards in fright and covering its pelvis and chest with both bony hands.
"Oh, my word! Oh! OH! Visitors! I'm so sorry! This isn't a hallucination, is it? OH! There are ladies present and here I am showing so much skin!"
After a moment's consideration, the hands came away and it added, "Oh, hmm… well, it's probably fine."
After another moment's consideration, the skeleton turned to the ladies and said, "On second thought, since I've shown you mine, perhaps you'd be so kind as to show me yours?"
Sakura whipped a kunai directly through a gap in the skeleton's pelvic bone. Solemnly, he looked down at his boney crotch, then back to the knife sticking out of the wall behind him.
"Ah, perhaps not then," said the skeleton.
The skeleton was unusually tall and it was clear that even if he had had flesh on his bones he would have been rail-thin.
Unfortunately, even for Franky, who had grown up on the Grand Line, there was simply no protocol for dealing with animated skeletons who were clearly friendly. While the skeleton-man excused himself to get dressed and 'do his hair,' the four shinobi and one cyborg took a moment to argue amongst themselves in the hallway.
"Like I was sayin'," began Franky, "-he can't be naked. He's a friggin' skeleton! They don't wear clothes 'cause they don't have any skin!"
"He was sure as hell acting naked," said Naruto.
"The hell is that supposed to mean?! 'Acting naked?' You're either naked or you're not! That's one of the fundamental truths of the world!"
Sakura had a thoroughly incredulous expression, and was looking more and more annoyed as time went on. "Is no one going to comment on the hair? Hair follicles are in the skin, not the bones."
From the inside of the echoing bathroom, the skeleton's voice called out, "I have very deep roots! Bone-deep! Yo-hohohoho!"
"Oh, he can hear us," muttered Sakura.
"I have a very good set of ears, too! Though I don't actually have any ears to speak of!"
Sakura and Sasuke groaned, and Hinata finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry, but isn't it weirder that there's a skeleton walking around at all? I know we've all gotten a bit too used to life out here, but how is he even moving?"
"Whatever," said Sasuke. "I'm assuming this is a Devil-Fruit thing."
"Okay," admitted Sakura, "but did he eat the Fruit himself or is there some other Devil-Fruit person out there who's turning people into skeletons against their will? Or raising an army of the dead?"
"The first one, thankfully," said the skeleton.
The door to the showers opened wide, revealing the figure of a formally-dressed skeleton. A tattered orange dress-shirt and blue cravat poked out from underneath a dusty black suit and pants. They say that clothes make the man, but in this case the effect of a gentleman who was extremely down on his luck was spoiled entirely by the grinning skull underneath a wild and bushy afro.
They couldn't help themselves. They started staring again. Not one of them was squeamish, but there are entire parts of human psychology that rely on the fact that you aren't likely to be speaking to a skeleton. Their instincts told them there was a person in front of them, and their brains were futilely trying to analyze body language, facial traits, and expressions that just weren't there.
Then, just as they were coming to terms with it, the skeleton blushed, completely defying their expectations.
"Oh, this is embarrassing. You're all staring at me so intently…"
When they blinked, whatever they had seen was gone, leading them to wonder if it had been just their imagination.
Naruto was the first one to apologize, or perhaps just the first one to come to terms with what had just happened. "Uhh, sorry about that. We just… haven't seen a skeleton walking around before, you know?"
"Oh, don't worry yourselves about that! I'm just so terribly excited to have visitors here! Why, it's been so many decades! So, is it just the five of you, then?"
"No," said Sasuke. "Actually we brought two-"
Sparing him the explanation, Luffy chose that moment to explode through the floorboards, scattering splinters as everyone present leapt backwards from the woodstorm.
"I FOUND IT!" screamed Luffy, fixing his mad grin on the skeleton.
"WAAAAAAAAHHH!" screamed the skeleton, skittering backward in fright and disappearing back into the bowels of the ship. Luffy dashed after him, laughing without restraint as he literally bounced down the corridors in his mad rush for adventure.
The five remaining crew stopped to consider this just long enough for Sanji to poke his irritated face out from the hole in the floor.
"Oh, there you are. Shit, did Luffy already run off?"
"You bet your sorry ass he did," said Franky. "He went chasing our so-called ghost. Guy's a living, breathing skeleton. Probably some Devil-Fruit thing."
"A living breathing what?" asked Sanji, vaulting himself out of the hole. "You know that's an oxymoron, right? Shit, this damn ocean just gets weirder and weirder."
Sasuke had to interrupt this. They were losing focus.
"Come on," he said. "Let's go find them."
It was five minutes before they found Luffy pounding on the outside of a mouldering cabin door. From inside there was the sound of whimpering and rattling bones, so Sasuke punched Luffy in the head and let Franky restrain him. Eventually they coaxed the skeleton out from his confinement, letting him step nervously out into the hall as Luffy watched with sparkling eyes.
"Sorry," said Sasuke, speaking to the skeleton directly. "He's not normally this excitable. I think it would have been better if he'd gotten a good look at you first. Why don't you step out for a moment and we can greet you properly once he's calmed down?"
"Y-yes, of course. Just… just let me… I'll be right back, just give me a minute," agreed the skeleton, stumbling over to a wide door and disappearing inside.
After he left, the six other people did their best to beat some restraint into Luffy. A minute later, there were a number of clattering noises from the room, followed by a liquid gurgling. A minute after that there was a hissing noise, followed by a piercing shriek. Another round of clattering ensued, and then the tattered yet dapper skeleton stepped out of the room holding a cup of tea on a delicate saucer.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said the skeleton. "I'm afraid I was just dying for a cup of tea, but now I feel revived! Though, of course, I'm already dead."
"You can drink tea?" asked Sanji. "You've got no stomach. Or tongue."
"Oh, yes I can," said the skeleton, ignoring the majority of the question as he somehow sipped the tea with his lipless mouth. "Well, it's not 'tea' exactly. It's just hot water. We actually ran out of tea about twenty years ago."
A thoughtful moment later, the skeleton added, "Oh, my manners. Could I get any of you wonderful ladies and gentlemen some tea?"
"You mean 'hot water,' right?" asked Sanji.
"I can get you that too, if you'd like!"
"You just said they're the same thing."
"Nonsense! Hot water comes in kettles. Tea comes in tea-cups. These are basic matters for any well-mannered gentleman!"
As Sanji's face twitched in irritation, the skeleton brought his fist to his chest and let out a large, horrible burp that echoed through the quiet ship.
"Ah. Excuse me. I've been practicing that- could you tell?"
"How the hell did sipping hot water make you burp?!" yelled Sanji.
"Forget that. How do you burp without a stomach?" asked Naruto.
"Can you poop, too?!" asked Luffy.
"To answer your questions, first I already told you it's tea, second a gentleman never talks about such foul things, and third yes, I do indeed poop."
Sanji gave up in disgust, but Luffy was on the case in a moment, eagerly following his earlier question with the most important matter of the day.
"Hey! Skeleton-guy!" he yelled. "Do you wanna join my crew?!"
The skeleton looked back at them with his empty eye-sockets, face expressionless in a way that only the fleshless can muster.
"Well!" he exclaimed, "Sounds good to me!"
Everyone was frozen, and Brook took another sip of tea.
*SLLLUUUUURRRPPP*
There was an odd sense of inevitability about this entire encounter. Absolutely everyone besides Luffy sensed just how strange it was to invite an animated skeleton onto their ship in a permanent fashion, but no one could stop him. The skeleton offered not even a token resistance to the idea, gladly being escorted over to their ship while making cheery conversation all the while. Eventually, they came face to face with the astounded crew that had remained behind, gathered on the grassy lawn on the Sunny's lower deck.
"Hello everyone! It's so nice to meet you all! It appears that as of today I'll be a member of your crew! My name's Brook, and no bones about it! Yohohohoho!"
Usopp and Nami had frozen in place, far too astounded even to run away. Chopper had preemptively hidden behind the main mast, whimpering in fear. Robin had actually stopped reading and was watching with both eyebrows raised.
"See?" asked Luffy, a proud glint in his eyes. "Isn't he great?!"
Zoro was the first to recover, glaring back and forth between the skeleton and the boarding party.
"What the hell is this?!" he exclaimed. "Didn't you go up there to make sure Luffy didn't do anything crazy?!"
"Y-yeah…" admitted Sanji. "I don't have any excuse here…"
Scowling, Zoro turned to Naruto and Sasuke.
"What about you two? Were you even trying?!"
"I don't see what the big deal is," said Sasuke. "He's a skeleton. Aren't you even a little curious about what he's doing here?"
"No!"
Usopp backed up uncertainly and muttered, "Chopper, I need you to listen to me... Back in the workshop there's a bottle of holy water and some crosses in the big red box... I need you to go and get that for me, alright?"
"Y-Yes Sir!" cried Chopper, disappearing below-deck in a blur of motion.
As the others bickered and quailed over the entity that had appeared on their ship, the four Konoha ninjas took this with a great deal more grace.
"Well," said Sasuke, "I think we've finally found the limits of what our foreign friends think is 'too weird.'"
"I just don't get it," said Naruto, "If they'd all just been like, 'oh, more walking and talking skeletons' then we'd have just been like 'whatever', you know? It wouldn't have been that weird. I mean, if they weren't freaked out by that guy who said he was a 'giraffe-man' then I don't see what makes skeletons so scary."
"A what-man?" asked Sakura.
"Some animal Devil-Fruit," clarified Sasuke. "They called it a 'giraffe,' but these guys said they'd only ever seen giraffes in picture books before. Huge, hooved beast with yellow, spotted fur. It has this humongously long neck and it's all angular and cube-ish. Apparently an expert in mid-air combat too, but I don't know about that. I'm thinking it was made-up entirely, but the rest of the crew seemed pretty convinced it's a real thing."
"That sounds horrible," said Hinata. "I agree with Naruto. Brook doesn't seem scary at all compared to that."
"Thank you for saying so!" exclaimed Brook, cheerfully dipping into a bow. "And my goodness it's an excellent thing, too. I'm not very good with frightening things, especially things like ghosts."
"The hell? Have you looked in a mirror recently?" asked Zoro.
"Umm, no I haven't. Why would you ask?"
Seeing an opportunity, Usopp reached beneath his cloak and pulled out a mirror the size of a large dinner plate. When Brook turned to look in his direction, he leapt screaming straight up into the air.
"OH MY WORD! GET IT AWAY!" cried the skeleton, tangling himself amidst the upper rigging.
"The hell were you carrying that big mirror around for?" asked Naruto.
"Don't you dare question my methods!" growled Usopp.
They all watched in confusion as Brook worked to untangle himself from his high perch. "Oh… oh, I'm so sorry. That was just far too startling! It's really quite unexpected!"
It was the first words she had spoken so far, but this display of unwarranted fear seemed to spark Robin's curiosity. She spoke up into the the dimly-lit rigging.
"Wouldn't you have had many opportunities to see your reflection before now? Why was this so frightening?"
Brook untangled himself and dropped nimbly to the deck, barely making a sound as his knees bent to absorb the bone-light impact. As soon as he straightened up he was proper once more, tactfully ignoring the mirror that Usopp was brandishing like a torch in his direction.
"Actually, that's something of a long story. I haven't actually appeared in reflections of any sort for quite a few years now, so this was truly unexpected."
Robin looked puzzled for a moment, then seemed to reach enlightenment, drawing upon her vast understanding and then nodding as if this had explained everything. "Ah. That makes sense. I'm glad to see that everything's better for you now."
"Your kind consideration is greatly appreciated, my beautiful lady," said the skeleton, bowing deeply. "Would you mind showing me your panties?"
"No, I won't do that."
"Of course."
Nami watched this wide-eyed, still caught in a loop of terror and confusion until this last exchange pushed her over the edge.
"You- You're a vampire too?!" she gasped.
Usopp whirled in place to point at Chopper who had just returned from the workshop with an armload of religious implements.
"CHOPPER! THE STAKES! GET THE STAKES! RED BOX!"
Chopper squeaked in fear and dropped everything with a rolling clatter, disappearing back below-deck one more.
"Usopp, it won't work!" yelled Nami, backing away from Brook. "He doesn't have a heart to pierce!"
"HE'S INVINCIBLE! SKELETON-VAMPIRE! THE ULTIMATE CREATION!"
Screaming this at the top of his lungs, Usopp threw a smoke bomb to the ground and disappeared under its thick cover. A moment later there was a splash of water from the starboard side. Everyone paused uncomfortably as the foul-smelling smoke dissipated, and then Chopper burst through the door with an armload of wooden stakes. He looked around hurriedly for Usopp before Robin pointed him in the right direction. Dashing over to the starboard side, Chopper squeaked in surprise, dropping most of the sharpened wooden implements overboard in his haste to throw Usopp a rope.
Throughout all of this, Brook had remained motionless.
"Hmm, not that I don't appreciate the admittedly excellent entertainment of this comedy routine, but perhaps you could extend your already wonderful kindness a bit further and offer me a meal? I'm afraid I'm a few decades past the point where I should have starved to death, if you get my meaning."
"You're right," said Sanji. "It's about that time anyway. Why don't I start by getting you some actual tea?"
"Oh, that would be so lovely. Thank you."
At this, Sanji nodded and headed off to the kitchens, until Nami intercepted him.
"Sanji, what the hell are you doing?!" hissed Nami as she pulled him aside. "If you make it feel at home it might stick around!"
Sanji really had two primary absolute motivators in life, and suddenly he found them at odds. He winced as pain coursed through his body, contradicting objectives warring for supremacy inside him until he gathered himself and denied Nami her wish.
"I'm sorry, but I can't turn a starving man away from a meal, no matter what. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have a stomach, I can tell this guy hasn't had a real bite to eat in decades. He needs this, even if his body doesn't know it."
"So you're just going to prepare dinner like normal? With a skeleton at the dining table?!"
"I'm sorry," said Sanji. "I have to do this."
So it was that a pot of real tea was made for everyone, though only a few of the crew seemed capable of enjoying it with the skeleton in the room. Brook, however, seemed completely unaffected by things such as fearful glances, brandished garlic, or Usopp's sodden entry into the dining room.
Usopp took one look at Brook sipping tea at the table and nodded resolutely as he stalked over to Nami.
"Alright, so it wasn't a dream, was it?" he asked.
"No, it wasn't," agreed Nami. "If we don't do something about this he's going to be a permanent member of the crew before we know it."
"Alright, so we need a reason to kick him out of here. Got it."
With a manic expression, he approached the table where much of the crew was gathered, feigning nonchalance as he searched for reasons to deny the creature a stay aboard the ship.
"Sooo... listen, mister…"
"Please, call me Brook."
"Yeah, Brook. So you're going to be on the crew then, huh? But… don't you have some complicated backstory or some terrible reason you can't join us that's connected to some death-filled ordeal... or something?"
"Nope, I'm free to go! No ordeals here!" exclaimed Brook.
"Look, there must be something, right? You sure you didn't piss off some ancient sea-witch who put you under a curse? Something like that?"
Brook tilted his skull, one finger-bone tapping at his chin. "Hmmm… Not that I can recall."
Luffy let out a tired, "Awww… That's boring."
Usopp moaned for an entirely different reason before Nami pulled him aside.
"Usopp," she hissed, "Stop trying to get this skeleton-man to remember something horrifying. You know that if Luffy learns about a new adventure then he's going to drag us right into it! We've got to cut our losses where we can."
"But Nami! You agree we can't let him in, right? Are you fine with a skeleton hanging around in our closets? Huh?"
Suddenly, Brook clapped his hand-bones together. "Oh! I just remembered something!"
Nami and Usopp turned a panicked look his way, while Luffy perked up.
"Yes, there was something horrible like that, wasn't there! My shadow was stolen by the Fruit-user who lived on a nearby ship that was the size of an island-"
Nami, Usopp, and Luffy's eyes widened.
"-and he used stolen souls to make an army of immortal zombies-"
Nami, Usopp, and Luffy's jaws dropped.
"-and he was one of the Shichibukai-"
Luffy eyes began sparkling, but Nami and Usopp began crying.
"-and without my shadow it's impossible for me to leave this part of the sea without dying!" Brook finished his whopper of a statement with a cheerful voice.
"ALRIGHT!" yelled Luffy, "IT'S ADVENTURE TIME!"
"NOOOOOOO!" cried Nami and Usopp.
"Oh! But I'm afraid that was all finished a while ago," said Brook. "My shadow was returned yesterday when all of the zombies on the island fell into the ocean."
The three Straw-Hats struggled to deal with this whip-lash of emotion in different ways. Luffy seemed deeply dejected, but Usopp and Nami weren't at all certain how to respond.
"Wait, wait, wait," started Usopp, still trying to unearth the hidden caveat that would doom them all, "Everyone on an entire island fell into the ocean on the same day? How?!"
"Oh that's because someone covered the island in a volcanic lightning-storm that burned it all to ashes. There's still stuff floating around right now. One minute island, next minute... poof!" Carefully, Brook returned to sipping his cup of tea. "Whoever did all that is probably still nearby, actually."
Suddenly, and without warning, Usopp and Nami fell to the floor, out like a light.
As the crew recovered from Brook's proclamation, Sanji let them know that the first courses for dinner were almost ready. Rejecting his common sense, the chef had elected to cook as if their new guest had a stomach and working taste buds, and it had been an instant success. Though the skeleton would probably have been happy to eat plain rice, Sanji gave it his A-game, making something that everyone would enjoy.
Luckily, their new dining area was large enough for the more fearful members of the Straw-Hats to eat quite some distance away from Brook. It didn't seem to matter, though. The skeleton appeared to be completely unaware of the skeptical treatment he was being given. In fact, if anything, he seemed moved as if by an overwhelmingly cheerful spirit.
He ate, he laughed, and he devoured the conversation as ravenously as he devoured the meal, jumping from topic to topic far too quickly to elaborate on anything as he showered himself and others with relics of his poor table manners. Until, all of a sudden, his pace and spirit slowed, prompting concern from those watching over him. When pressed, he explained:
"Oh dear, I'm just… it's just so wonderful to be here like this! Do you know how long I've been adrift out here? All alone? These last fifty years have been so unbearable, and now in just one day I've regained not only my shadow but also found such beautiful people. You have fed me and spoken to me like a real person…"
Brook was crying. Tears were streaming out of his empty eye-sockets and falling to the table in great rivers, despite his complete lack of tear ducts.
"I haven't even eaten plain bread for decades, yet a masterful feast has been laid before me! I have had only myself for company, yet now I am surrounded by laughter! Fifty years watching my home fall to pieces around me, stuck with no escape, but now I have hope!"
Sanji chuckled, leaning back against a counter. "Makes me glad to know someone really appreciates the meal. This is what cooking was truly made for."
Brook raised both hands to the sky, tossing a shower of crumbs in every direction as his knife and fork expressed his emotions.
"Ah! Even though I'm already dead, this is the greatest day of my life. Finally, the sea breeze has brought me angels! You are all so wonderful! Thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! It makes me want to burst out into song!"
"Burst into song?" asked Luffy. "You sing?"
"Why of course! The Rumbar Pirates were famed far and wide as musicians, and every night we would have song and dance! Oh, but… you wouldn't be interested in that."
"You're a Musician?!" yelled Luffy, looking around at the rest of the crew. "Hey, everyone! I found a Musician! I told you I'd find us one!"
Usopp and Nami nodded in numb agreement. Even they weren't immune to the depth of emotion that had come from their new guest.
"Why don't you sing something then," asked Naruto. "That was you singing something about the sea-breeze earlier, right?"
Brook looked distinctly shocked. "Oh, you heard that, did you…? That was… well, that's a special song to me. It was also the last song that my friends and I sang together… And… well, part of a promise."
He raised a bony hand to his skull and tapped his temple, the hollow clacking noise also revealing a slight rattle inside.
"Inside my skull is an item called a Tone Dial. It records sound and plays it back later, you see, and in this one is a record of my friends' last song together. We saved it… before they died."
"They… died?" asked Hinata. "What happened to your ship?"
"Oh, that's quite a long story, but… well, the short version is that we were attacked at sea when we entered the Triangle. We beat the attackers back, but they had poisoned their weapons, and I'm afraid our doctor had died during the attack. There was no hope for any of my friends, but with the Revival Fruit I had eaten, well… we all knew I would come back to life eventually. So it's up to me alone to fulfill our promise now… the one thing we had left undone."
He paused, and then sighed in the silence.
"...and I'm afraid that's why I can't join you wonderful people after all. I'd greatly appreciate a lift to a nearby island, but we made a promise to a friend, and if I do not keep that promise then I am a failure as a man."
It was everything that Usopp and Nami had wanted: a reason to keep the skeleton off of the crew... and yet somehow it rang hollow inside their hearts.
"What?!" exclaimed Luffy. "No way! What's the promise?!"
"Oh, it's a silly little thing to say out loud. Like so many things it is but a small and insignificant wish, only so important because of the dreams and hopes that got wrapped up around it. We left a friend behind when we entered the Grand Line, you see. A little whale, who followed us through thick and thin until the sea just grew too dangerous. He was such a little creature, that baby whale, but we cared for him so much. And then we told him… we told him… that it was too dangerous up ahead, but that we would definitely come back for him one day… just so long as he stayed there… and stayed safe."
Now Brook was crying again, his tears pooling in his eye sockets and falling down his skull.
"But then we all died! And I don't think he could ever understand, or even forgive us! Because we promised him that we would definitely return, and then we did not! I've been sitting here, stuck for fifty years, and each day I've thought about how there's nothing I can do to make it up to him! Praying… praying that he's alright! He wouldn't even recognize me if he saw me now! The only thing I have left is… well, my hair. This hair is the only part of my figure he could ever remember, but I don't even…"
He stopped speaking for a moment, sobbing openly as the shocked and worried figures of the Straw-Hats watched over him.
"You… you see? Just a little thing. I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't understand. Going that far over a promise to someone you might see as just a pet… but… but..."
"That whale," interrupted Nami. "Was his name… Laboon?"
Brook froze, then jolted upright to stare her straight in the eyes.
"W-what? I've never said his name before! How do you…"
"Laboon!" yelled Luffy, standing up from his seat in excitement. "We met him when we entered the Grand Line! He was being watched over by old man Croquette!"
"Crocus," corrected Sanji. "Come to think of it, he did say something about that whale waiting for an old group of pirates, didn't he? Of course, Laboon was the size of a mountain, not a little thing…"
"Fifty years!" exclaimed Brook. "Fifty years and he's still there?! Still alive?! Is he alright?"
"Well he was acting up a bit and giving Crocus a hard time," said Sanji. "The old guy didn't know how to tell him that you all were long-dead. But Luffy here kicked his ass and painted our flag on his nose, so now he's waiting for us to come around for him after we hit the end of the Grand Line. I guess we sort of took over your promise without realizing it."
Luffy laughed. "Now everyone who comes into the Grand Line is gonna see our flag! That whale was awesome! Put up a good fight, too. Not as good as me, though!"
Brook gaped at them open-mouthed, and although it was clearly impossible everyone present could swear they saw his eyes widen in growing shock.
"You… you people… you met Laboon? You gave him hope? You helped him… just like you helped me… This… this isn't a lie, is it?"
"It sure as hell isn't," said Sanji. "But if it helps it shouldn't be hard to find news of an ornery island-whale with a shittily-drawn flag painted on its nose sitting at the base of Reverse Mountain."
"This… this is… this isn't necessary!" cried Brook as his tears returned. "This was already the greatest day of my life! There was no need to make it better! Laboon! He's still alive! He still remembers! Can you wait for me?!"
"So are we going to be turning around?" asked Sasuke. "This sounds like he wants to go back the way we came."
Brook shook his head, surprising them all as he rose to his feet, towering over them all. He grabbed his old cane, separating the head from the shaft to reveal the glint of a hidden blade, then returned it to its sheath.
"No… no, no that's not necessary. We're on the opposite side of the Earth from Reverse Mountain. It's as far to go back as to go forward, and if you promised to go around then that's what we're going to do! And I, Humming Brook, will help you do it! My songs and my blade shall both be at your side!"
He paused as he stood before them.
"That is… if you'll have me."
They sang and danced into the night as the echoes washed over the Sunny and the floating wreck beside it. For another night the old ship knew the singing and music of a group once more, and then in the morning it was time to leave it behind. Pieces of floating debris were growing increasingly common as the aftermath of whatever violence had obliterated the nearby island spread out from its center, and they needed to be away as soon as possible.
Despite some of their earlier reservations, Brook was welcomed into the crew. Even Usopp had grudgingly accepted his presence, and barely flinched when Brook stepped up onto the deck.
"I'm sorry, but I have one last request for you all," said Brook, looking solemnly at his new friends.
"Alright, buddy, just as long as it's not too creepy," said Usopp.
"Oh, certainly not. It's just that all of my former crew-mates are skeletons as well, and they're still over on the other ship, waiting for me."
Everyone froze in place, helplessly imagining an entire ship filled with walking skeletons before Brook clarified.
"Coffins! Their coffins! Oh, my word, that didn't come out right, did it? It's just that… I'd like to give them a proper burial, and… well, the ship, too, but... we don't have anywhere that would be…"
Brook went uncharacteristically silent as words seemed to fail him completely.
"That ship's been carrying you for fifty years, huh?" asked Franky, staring up at the dark and menacing hulk. "She's a tough old hag, I'll give her that, but you're right. She's earned a rest. Make sure everything you need is off the ship and I'll take care of her. For what it's worth, I think your friends would understand. For any sailor, and any ship, cremation is enough."
With a reserved solemnity, Brook nodded. Then he left for the ship, grabbing what few mementos he had- as well as an old grand piano- and saying his last goodbyes to what had been his home for decades.
The Sunny pulled away quite some distance before Usopp shot several incendiary pellets to land at each hole that Franky had opened up in the hull, setting a number of fires alight all across the ship so that it would burn evenly.
Brook watched his past burn with empty eyes and a full heart, holding the Tone Dial in his hands as he played and sang along to the song that his old friends had loved.
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!
...
Gather up all of the crew
It's time to ship out Bink's brew
Sea-wind blows
To where? Who knows?
The waves will be our guide.
...
O'er across the ocean's tide,
Rays of sunshine far and wide.
Birds they sing
Of cheerful things
In circles passing by.
...
Bid farewell to weaver's town,
Say so long to port renowned,
Sing a song,
It won't be long,
Before we're casting off.
...
Cross the gold and silver seas,
A salty spray puts us at ease,
Day and night,
To our delight,
The voyage never ends.
...
Gather up all of the crew,
It's time to ship out Bink's brew,
Pirates we,
Eternally,
Are challenging the sea.
...
With the waves to rest our heads,
Ship beneath us as our beds,
Hoisted high,
Upon the mast,
Our Jolly Roger flies.
...
Somewhere in the endless sky
Stormy winds are blowing wide,
Waves are dancing,
Evening comes,
It's time to sound the drums.
...
But steady men, and never fear,
Tomorrow's skies are always clear,
So pound your feet,
And clap your hands,
Till sunny days return.
...
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!
...
Gather up all of the crew,
It's time to ship out Bink's brew,
Wave good-bye,
But don't you cry,
Our memories remain.
...
Our days are but a passing dream,
Everlasting though they seem,
Beneath the moon,
We'll meet again,
The wind's our lullaby.
...
Gather up all of the crew,
It's time to ship out Bink's brew,
Sing a song,
And play along,
For all the ocean's wide.
...
After all is said and done,
You'll end up a skeleton,
So spread your tale,
From dawn till dusk,
Upon these foamy seas.
...
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!
Yo-hohoho! Yo-ho-ho-ho!