DAY 29
"Again," she commanded out of breath. Sweat running down her back.
Her voice trembled in the entire Agni Kai chamber.
She had harnessed the moment Sokka had left her door to go to the bathroom to sneak out, leaving her two guards at the door and giving them instructions of letting her know whenever he leaved again, so she could sneak back in.
In a matter of minutes, she had assembled the rest of her available Royal Guards in the chamber.
They were ten in total, but leaving two at the door of her room had left her with eight of them. The eight had been a little surprised by the sudden command, yet all of them had been ready to follow her orders.
"All of you. Make a half-moon," Azula commanded them. They obeyed without hesitation. "Now, I want you all to attack me. And don't hold back."
They looked at each other, confused, when they heard the Princess instructions. The eight men stood still. Doubtful, if she was being serious.
The Royal Guards were in charge of protecting the Royal Family. Specifically, the member that it was assigned to them. In their case, it was the Princess. They were supposed to protect her with their lives and escort her wherever she commanded them. Yet, there she was, commanding them to attack her.
"S-Sorry, Princess?" the Captain of her guards, Arazhi inquired.
"You heard me clearly," she replied, "Attack me. Now. It's an order." she said, raising her hands defensively.
They all shared one last wary look before one of them took a step closer and shot a small fire blast at her.
She extinguished the flames with a flick of her wrist. "Seriously, Linxin?" she grunted, raising an eyebrow. "If that the best you can do. I will request for your withdrawal, effective immediately," she grunted.
"I-I…"
"Again. And this time, do it like you mean it." the Princess bellowed.
All of them changed their stances to attack one's. One by one started to attack her, throwing fireballs and fire blasts at her of different sizes, or intensities.
She avoided their attacks and attacked them back. One by one. She threw blows to their chest or aiming to their heads.
Once they notice that she was being serious about not holding back, their attacks turned more and more powerful. Like she had intended them to attack her since the very first beginning.
First, it had been more about testing their abilities.
Azula was fully aware that all of them were talented fire benders and fighters. Not every guard could be a member of the Royal Guards. They needed to prove their worth and abilities, as well as that they were up to the task of safeguard the life of the Royal Family.
Their attacks were sharp, precise, and they worked amazingly in coordination with each other. Covering each other's back. Totally in sync.
For years, she had seen them train, fight and improve. And thanks to that she could identify their weakness.
Dazhi. He focused more on attacking than on defending.
She kicked him in the legs when she saw an opening.
He felt to the ground with his back as she messed with his stance.
Mao. He tends to protect too much his front, leaving his left and right sides vulnerable to attacks.
The Princess grabbed him by his left arm and threw him over her. He hits the ground hard with a wince.
Nezha. He lacks in hand to hand combat.
He focuses on keeping his attacker at long distances with long-range attacks and big flames.
Azula manages to get closer to him and twists his arm in an unnatural way to his back, kicks him in the back of the knees forcing him to shrink on the floor.
Linxin, his aim in -long rage attacks- it's terrible, but he compensates it with short term attacks, and hand to hand combat.
He blocks one of her blows. And when she throws a kick to his face, he uses his arms to stop her attack. He blocks most of her throws.
Rage starts to take over her, as Linxin successfully blocks more of her attacks. She barely manages to hit him a couple of times. Until, she is finally available to kick him in the chest and sends him back with a fire blast.
One by one, they continue to fall and lay on the ground.
Arazhi, it's the hardest one to take down.
He is talented in every area. He doesn't flinch with her attacks and keeps it cool all the time. His movements are fast and agile. Arazhi successfully blocks every single one of her attacks and her rages grows more and more by every attack he blocks.
At some point, her attacks turn more aggressive and faster. And Arazhi begins to struggle with them. Blue fire is not easy to bend as regular fire.
Finally, she takes him down.
"Get up," she said out of breath after finally making Arazhi hit the ground. "Again."
They repeat the same exercise at least five more times. They changed strategies. Formations and sequences. Still, she makes them hit the ground one by one every single time.
"Again," she ordered them out of breath, whipping the sweat from her forehead.
"P-Princess," Arazhi mumbles panting, also covered in sweat. "I believe... I speak not only on my behalf but also in my colleagues. Would there be a chance for us to… please take a break?" he pleads.
"Why?" she inquired.
"I believe… It's very much needed it, Princess," said Arazhi, glancing at the rest of the guards.
A few of them were groaning in pain on the floor. More than one had a few bad punches and they wished to have a physician to take a look at them. They were all covered in sweat. One of them even had his tongue hanging out of his mouth, catching his breath. They were all pretty tired out.
"I…" the Princess hasn't been aware of how bad they all looked. Maybe she had gone a little overboard with them.
"Let them rest," a voice made her turn. "And you can fight me instead," said Lu Ten with a smile as he jumped onto the platform.
"Prince Lu Ten" Arazhi bowed to him, thankful for his sudden, but opportune arrival.
"Just, Lu Ten pal," he said patting him on the back with a little more strength than intended. Arazhi groaned in pain. Her cousin grimaced. "Sorry pal."
"It's okay," Arazhi replied, helping other guards to stand.
"All of you should head to the infirmary." said Lu Ten as they got off the platform, "And all of you will get two extra days off next week. As a reward and compensation for… everything. Right, mochi?"
All of her guards glanced at the Princess, waiting for her approval.
"Sure," Azula said nodding almost unpredictable.
Once they left the Agni Kai chamber Lu Ten turned to his cousin with a disapproving look.
"Now," he crossed his arms over his chest, "Mochi, what the hell was that? You were tearing them apart. They are your guards. They are supposed to protect you, not attack you!"
"It was… It was nothing." she retorted.
"Fine." Lu Ten uttered, getting his stance ready.
"What are you doing?" she quirked a brow.
"I said, I was going to fight you, didn't I?" he said, "So, let's fight."
…
Lu Ten was just as good as she remembered. His defense was perfect. And his offense was just as sharp. He was at the same level as her father and as her Uncle. He was a prodigy, just like herself.
She gasped, heavily. She was having a hard time with him.
Azula hadn't been available to strike one single blow on him, and that had infuriated her. Maybe it was the fact that she was already tired or the fact that her mind wasn't focused on the fight, but on something else. In someone else, to be clear.
She couldn't perform her bending as she well as wished she could.
"C'mon Mochi! You are not even trying!" he shouted at her from the other extreme of the platform.
She tightened her teeth and clenched her fist. She lowered her face, trying to catch her breath. She was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Overall, emotionally.
"What is it? You seem absent." he said, "It's everything okay?"
Azula took a deep breath before shooting a blast at him. "Perfect!"
Lu Ten moved out of the way with no problem.
"Did you and Sokka fought again?" he inquired. The last time he had seen her so upset, it had been because they had fought.
"I…"
"I rushed into Piandao this morning," Lu Ten informed her, "He said that Sokka didn't show up for his daily training neither yesterday nor today."
She pressed her lips together. Just hearing his name made her want to cry. She must have hurt him... a lot.
She lowered her defense.
Lu Ten did the same.
Her head dropped again, her black hair concealing the tears gathering in her eyes.
Please don't do this, Sokka had begged her.
"What happen? Is… everything okay?" he asked, reaching for her when he heard her sobs.
"I don't know," she whispered, trying to hold back her tears.
"Mochi?" he muttered, worried.
And then she felt something clenching in her chest. Something that it wasn't allowing her to breathe properly. She supported her hands on her knees. A second later, they gave up and dropped her to the ground.
It was like if something was digging a hole in her chest. Squeezing her lungs making it impossible for her to breathe.
"I can't…. I can't..." she mumbled, shaking her head. "I can't do it. I can't… I can't breathe." she sobbed, trying to reach out for air.
"Hey, hey, mochi," Lu Ten dropped next to her. "Look at me. Look at me, okay? Breathe."
"I-I… can't." she looked at him with big tears streaming down her face. "It hurts," she said, clenching her hands to her chest. What was this overwhelming, horrible sensation? "Make it… stop. M-Make it, stop." she begged him.
"It's okay… Shush," he mumbled trying to calm her wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay, mochi," he muttered softly, holding her as tight as he could. "It's okay. Let it out. Let it all out."
And as the Princess clenched her hold around her cousin, he was available to understand what it was causing her so much pain. Now, he understood the reason of their yesterday's chat.
A heartbreak.
She was heartbroken.
…
The day before.
"Hey." Sokka smiles as she reached him. But his smile disappears as soon as he saw the expression on her face. "What is it?"
The sooner that it was done, the better for both of their shakes.
"We need to talk." she forces herself to say it. The words come hard from her lips and she tightens her fist.
Sokka remains in silence, a little worried about her attitude and about what might say to him. His mind gave him a few suggestions, yet, he wished that it was none of the options he was thinking about.
"This…, shouldn't have never happened," she muttered, glancing towards the floor. She can't look at him in the eyes. Not as she broke his heart.
He feels a little hunch in his chest. "What?" he asked, confused. She couldn't be saying those words. Not right now. Not ever.
Azula gulped hard. She digs her nails in her palms when she feels her eyes watery. She must not cry, she must not. She needs to be strong.
"You and me," she said, like a whisper. "This was supposed to be another normal month. Another failed intent of my father to find me a suitor, but…" her lower lips trembles, "You came. You appeared in my life and now I don't… We don't belong together." Sokka opens his mouth to reply, but she continues, "We were foolish to believe otherwise. You are free, and I'm not. I'm stuck in here and… I don't want the same for you." she looks up, but avoid looking him at his eyes, yet he can notice the red hue on her. She is trying so hard to not cry.
"What are you talking about?" he inquired. Her words are painful to hear.
Azula blinked a few times, trying to erase the tears from her eyes, before they come out.
"All my life I have been selfish, but what I'm about to do…" she made a pause as a note formed in her throat. "Might be the more selfless and the hardest thing I've ever done."
And it was true. Maybe with another guy or even with him -if she hadn't heard his conversation with his father- she would have probably asked him to stay. She would have probably forced him to stay there. With her. Not caring if he was miserable for the rest of his life, she wouldn't have to care about that, as long as he would be with her.
But this time, this time was different.
"What are you…" Sokka took a step back. He knows what she is about to say.
"You need to leave," she commanded him.
"What?" his mouth hang and his breathing shortened. She is pushing him away. She is sending him away.
"You don't belong here, as much as I don't belong elsewhere." said Azula, "It's something I always knew. And I was foolish to think that that might change. You are a free soul, gentle and without bindings and I'm a binding…" she wiped a tear that comes off her eye, quickly trying to remain calm. Her heart was beating fast against her chest with every word she told him. "This. Us, is the most amazing, real, and special thing I ever imagined having," she gave him a brief smile biting the insides of her lower lip trying to not break in tears. "I never imagined that... me from all people, I was going to fall in love with you as much as I love you. But I have to stop being selfish... I'm doomed. And I will always be doomed to this place. And I don't want you to be too."
His eyes shined for the tears in them. "Why would I suffer? Why would I suffer If I'm with you?" he took a step forward towards her, trying to hold her by the shoulders, to force her to look at him in the eyes. But she took a step backward, placing distance between them.
She knew that if he laid a finger on her, she would break and would beg him to stay.
She shook her head. "You will even if you are with me… Because you should be out in the world doing what you love the most…"
"It's you… You are what I love the most!" he said in a desperate tone, trying to make her understand.
Her chest trembles as she can barely breathe while fighting the urges to cry. "You said once; that traveling was part of who you are… And I'm not going to take that away from you." her voice broke at the last word.
He tried to reach her again, yet she raised her hands in front of her to stop him. "I don't care. I will stay here, with you…" he was willing to give up everything just for a chance to be with her.
"I can't allow you to do that…" she replied.
He was making it ten times harder.
"Then, I will leave. But… But, we will make it work," he assured her, "A long-distance relationship. How hard can it be?"
Azula noticed that his hands were shaking.
She swallowed hard. "You remember what happen with Suki?" Just the thought of them going thru the same, made her heart hurt.
"Yeah… but… but it was because we weren't meant to be, but we are. We are Azula." he said, "Just look at Suki and Zuko. They are meant to be. And they have made it work."
"And if… We aren't like them?" she mumbled.
"We are," Sokka assured her, managing to cup her face in his hands and making her meet his eyes. "We will make it work," he promised.
His beautiful blue eyes were red, and a few tears streamed down his cheeks.
"How? How can you be so sure of it?" she asked him, taking his hands off her face. "You and Suki used to see each other more often than we will ever could. And honestly… I can't imagine conforming me with only seeing you a couple of weeks a year."
Just the thought of not seeing him for a couple of days was already torturous. Now spending weeks or months without seeing him, it was something she was not willing to endure. Even if right now killed her, she knew she was doing the right thing by letting him go. That way, it would be easy for both of them to get over each other.
"We can figure it out. We will," he said confidently.
But it was not enough for her.
"I know we will. But the distance, eventually, will be too much. A couple of weeks will not be enough. At least, not for me. And… And what if you find a girl that can travel with you? And you can take her to see the places you love?! Just imagining that…" A sob came out of her throat. Just the mere thought of it was torture. Just the thought of him replacing her with someone else it was… unthinkable. "I-I'm… I'm afraid that you might replace me. That you will find someone. Someone better than me… and that's why my heart aches just to think you might find someone else…" she shook her head, trying to eliminate those thoughts of her mind. The situation was already painful enough to add those kinds of things.
Sokka raised his eyebrows. He couldn't believe what she was telling him. She was talking nonsense. "Better than you?" that was unthinkable. There was no one better than her. "And what if it's you who replace me? Or if you find someone better than me?"
A small smile appears on her lips very briefly. "That seems unlikely. No other man than you've ever been brave enough or witty, or charming, or fun or attractive to reach me …"
"Azula," he takes a step forward and cups her face, forcing him to see him. He wipes her tears with his thumbs. "You are perfect. Perfect in every sense of the word and every guy who doesn't see it it's blind. But please, I'm begging you… Please don't do this." he begged.
She could hear the desperation in his voice. She wanted to surrender to him. To be selfish again and don't care about what others would want. To tell him, to beg him to please stay with her and never leave her. She wanted him always by her side. To wake up with him. To finish what they had been trying to do a few times but always got interrupted. She wanted to finally know every inch of his body and soul… but she couldn't.
"Sokka…" she muttered.
"Please…" he begged again, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly.
Azula heard the beating of his heart. She inhaled his scent one last time, trying to memorize it forever. He was shaking as well as her.
"Sokka." Azula takes a step away from him. "Don't make this harder. It's for the best," she said, placing something his hand. She tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "You will forgive me one day."
Her hand slipped from his. And he didn't try to hold it.
It was until her fingertips brushed his and she turned around and walked away that he noticed something in his hand.
Her bracelet.
He stood there. Still. Watching her walk away from him, squeezing hard her bracelet in his hand.
"A-Azu…" Sokka called her, before his body reacted and trailed behind her.
This couldn't be it. This couldn't be over. It couldn't. He wasn't going to allow that. He wasn't going to allow her to walk away from the best thing that had ever happen to her. To him.
"Azula!" he called her again, but she didn't stop or lower down. "C'mon, gorgeous. Let's talk about this. Please!" he implored.
As soon as he turned into the hallways of her room. He crashed against two enormous Royal Guards that made him stop his tracks.
"Azula" Sokka called her again, before she closed the door of her room. "Can you... let me talk to…" he grunted when he noticed the guards were not moving or let him go thru.
"I'm sorry, but… We have orders from the Princess. Nobody is allowed without her authorization." one of them replied.
"What?" he raised his eyebrows. She had even placed two guards at her door to avoid talking to him. "But I really need to talk to her." he practically begged, trying to push pass them.
"We just follow orders." the other one replied.
"Please…"
"Sorry, kid."
"Fine." Sokka replied, "If you are not going to let me talk to her, I guess I will…" he was not going to give up so easily. Not with her. "I will wait right here until she comes out," he said, leaning his back on one of the walls and sliding to the floor.
Both guards shared a glanced and shrugged. "You can do as you please."
"I'm staying right here, you hear me?" he shouted at her closed door, knowing she was listening to him. "I'm not going anywhere until you come out and we talk about it. Because… because you can't leave me like this! You can't… You can't give up on us. You can't! Because I'm not giving up." he shouted, clenching at the red bracelet.
"Not now or ever! I'm not giving up!" she heard him say on the other side of the door.
She wanted to come up and tell him that she wasn't giving up on them either, but… one of them had too.
…
Azula didn't need to tell anything to her cousin. She knew Lu Ten was smart enough to connect the dots.
He didn't push her into telling him a word. He just embraced her. He held her just like when she was little and let her cry. He let her cry as much as she wanted and needed too, caressing her hair and back, hoping that she eventually would calm down.
She wasn't someone that showed her feelings too openly. In fact, he could count the amount of time she had cried in her life with one hand. And the fact that she was crying like she was doing it, it meant that she was really hurt. Truly heartbroken.
She really loved him.
She truly loved Sokka.
DAY 30
Azula left the brush aside as she read again the words she had written in the paper again.
She had used the same trick again. Sneaking out of her room when Sokka had gone to the bathroom. Being stuck in the four walls of her room, while knowing he was at the other side of the door had made her anxious, and more than once, she had been tempted to open the door to talk to him.
So, now she was refugeed in the library with other two guards at the door, just in case Sokka figure it out her little scam.
Her eyes read again the words.
Sokka:
I don't know where to start. In fact, I don't even know why I'm writing this if you are never going to read it. But I guess I needed to let it out somehow…
She folded the paper perfectly when the ink dried fully. She stared at the paper between her fingers for a moment, before deciding what to do with it next.
Her eyes traveled to her wrist -as she had been doing it since he had gifted her the bracelet- just to find it empty. The dragon lantern on her desk got her attention next. She stared at it for a while before subbing it into the first drawer. Even looking at it, it was painful, and it made her eyes fill with tears.
Azula took a few deep breaths, fighting back the tears. She had cried enough already. She needed to stop feeling sorry for her. It was her fault, after all. She had brought this upon her.
She needed to stop this pathetic crying. She was a fucking Princess! She could have any guy she wanted, any boy she wished. Yet, the only one she truly wanted, the one she truly loved, she couldn't have him.
But it was her destiny, and she couldn't do anything to change it. Only, accepted.
The Princess remained some time sat in one of the couches with her eyes on the fire of the fireplace, while her mind wandered absently.
"I could kiss you right now." "Please do not kiss me." "Did it anyway!"
"I will always find you." "Is it normal I find this extremely sexy?"
"I was an idiot, and I'm sorry."
"Okay, fine. Let's say you are right. Who am I in love with, if I may ask?" "It's obvious… Sokka."
"I... I-I love you."
"Gods. You are gorgeous,"
"And if I make you suffer?" "I'm willing to take the risk, plus, I'm sure that it doesn't matter how much you make me suffer, because…" "Because?" "You will make me ten times happier," he stated before leaning to kiss her.
Her fingertips brushed her lips.
"This bracelet means that even lovers separated for some reason, they will go around and then, will meet again finally and their feelings for each other will remain, as long as they use them
"Please, pray tell, what do you see in my future?" "Easy. Me."
Azula reached for her copy of Love among dragons that was lying next to her and opened the book cover. A small smashed, dry, and a little overshadowed flower lay there.
The first flower she had accepted as a gift.
"I saw it on my way here and I thought it was pretty and I realized, who else is pretty? She returned it to the insides of the book and closed the cover.
She wiped her tears from her face before holding the letter in one hand while she lit a small flame with the other. The blue flame began to burn the edges of the paper, when the door opened.
"Azula, finally! I have been looking for you everywhere." her father walked in without knocking, making her jolt up and putting out her fire. "I have been looking for you and Sokka…" the Fire Lord made a pause. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned when he noticed the hot prickle in her eyes.
"Dad," her voice came out as a whisper. Her lower lip trembling. "I broke up with him," she said with her voice cracking on the last word. Tears escaping her eyes.
"Oh…" he replied, raising his eyebrows before extending his arms wrapping her into a comforting hug. Which caused her to increase her sobbing. "But I thought you and him… Why my daughter?" he asked caressing her head lovingly. He could easily count with a hand the times he had seen his daughter cry like that.
Azula gulped. "For the… same reason... you let… mom... have a choice...before marrying you…" she said between sobs, clinging to her father embrace.
Ozai understood her words perfectly. "You love him."
"I do… But I…. I can't be selfish... and tie him here," she muttered, trying to control her loud sobs and her shivers.
"Oh, Azula." her father tightened his hold around her tiny body. "Come here, my little girl." Azula tightened hers and hide her face in her father's chest as he caressed her hair and back.
He left her cry in her arms for as long as she needed it.
Unlike him and Zuko, who usually were hot-headed and could easily explode. His daughter was a woman who would usually keep her emotions for herself only. She would keep them inside and would hold to them until she could no longer be available to hold them anymore.
He didn't bother about the fact that his robes would get wet for her tears or ruined because of her smudged makeup. He was only worried about the fact that his daughter was experiencing the worst pain possible. A broken heart.
A pain that could be more painful than any physical injury.
And by just witnessing the way Azula was blubbering, he could tell that she was in uncontrollable pain.
It took a long while for her to calm down. Her blubbering turned into sobbing, and her sobbing eventually in whimpering, until it finally quiet down.
She had fallen asleep crying.
A knock on the door of the library made him turn.
"Come on in." the Fire Lord replied to whoever it was.
One of Azula's guards walked in and bowed instantly to him. "My Lord. Is Princess Azu…" he glanced and noticed the Princess sleeping in her father's lap.
"She fell asleep a moment ago. What is it?" Ozai asked.
"The Princess ordered us to let her know when the son of chief Hakoda left the door of her room so she could sneak in." the guard uttered.
"She did?"
"Yes, my lord." the guard replied. By his voice, Ozai assumed it was Linxin from his daughter's guard. "But if the Princess is sleep, should I wake her up or should I let her sleep?"
The Fire Lord glanced at his daughter's sleeping face. "Let's let her sleep.," he said before sliding one arm under her daughter's body and picking her up.
Linxin widened his eyes. "F-Fire Lord," he was astounded. "Ple-Please let us take the Princess to her room." he took a step to him, extending his arms to take the Princess.
The Fire Lord made a sign for him to stop. "It's okay. I can take my daughter myself," he assured. "Also, it has been so long since I last did it."
Linxin followed him very closely in case he changed his mind halfway there, but he didn't.
The last time he had picked up and carried any of his children like that, it had been so long ago. The last time he had carried Zuko he had been eleven. And Azula she had been nine. It had been before he turned into Fire Lord.
Ozai lay her down on her bed. He removed from her face one of her bangs and looked at the stains in her face for her tears, before walking out of her room. Putting off every candle or light of the room with his bending.
"Fire Lord?" a voice said behind him. He turned to find Sokka standing there looking tired and confused. "When did you… How long were you inside?"
"Just a moment," he replied.
"Is Azula… Can I…? Is she…?" Sokka tried to ask.
The Princess's father shook his head. "She is sleep.," he said, "I don't think you will be available to talk to her until tomorrow."
"Oh," Sokka dropped his shoulders.
Ozai placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a warm smile. "Why don't you go to rest, huh? You look a little tired."
"I-I guess… I could." Sokka replied, scratching the back of his neck. He could use a little rest. His back was killing him. And if Azula was sleep, she wasn't coming out of her room tonight. So, there was no use spending another night there. He could go back the next morning really early.
"You should," he said to Sokka, giving him a little squeeze on the shoulder. "Oh, and don't worry. I'm going to solve this," he assured him before walking down the hall and disappearing on the corner.
Sokka stood there looking in the direction the Fire Lord had disappeared for a moment.
Then he turned to the guard on her door.
"You know," he placed his hands on his hips. "It's not fair you let him in and not me. If you are not letting me in, you shouldn't leave anyone in. What do you have to say, huh?"
Both guards glanced at each other before shrugging.
And when Sokka though he wasn't getting a verbal answer one of them replied making him jolt. "He is the Fire Lord, kid."
"Ah… I see. Playing favorites with the boss, huh?" Sokka closed his arms.
"And he is also her father," uttered the other guard, "Now, go to rest. You look terrible."
…
Sokka had taken the long way back to his room, hoping that by the time he would reach his bed his mind would be so tired that he would simply blackout instead of wandering around thinking in Azula and making him more miserable about all the situation.
"Don't make this harder. It's for the best."
He glanced at the gardens with his hands in his pocket. How could he tell her? How could he convince her that it was not? That it was not for the best? How could he tell her that being apart from each other was only going to make them miserable? How could he convince her that for him… It didn't matter where he was, as long as he was with her?
His mind wandered around and somehow his feet ended up taking him to somewhere he had spent his first day in the Fire Nation locked with Azula.
The Library.
The door was half-closed. And when he pushed it, he could see that it was totally empty.
The fire in the fireplace was almost fully off, barely illuminating the room.
The scrolls he had used the last time were still in the same place. Azula's copy of Love among dragons was resting in the coffee table next to a folded paper with some burned edges. Maybe Azula had intended to burn it but had totally forgotten.
Sokka walked towards her desk and smiled at the memory of her reading while placing distractedly with a flame between her fingers.
Her desk was perfectly arranged. Not a paper or a scroll out of place. Even the brush she must have used to write was perfectly placed. Everything was in place. Except for one of her drawers that was half-open.
His curiosity got the best of him, and he found out the dragon lantern he had gifted her.
"You really liked it, didn't you?"
He placed it in the middle of the desk. He couldn't remember exactly where she had it placed it before, but even if he did. Azula would probably have to rearrange it anyway, so he just left it there.
He took one last glance at the room before deciding to leave. He was just torturing himself.
"I love you," he remembered her words, said for the very first time in that place.
Sokka wiped the tears that came out of his eyes.
"Gods, I such a sadist," he said to himself, "Why would I come here from all possible places?" his eyes drifted back to the coffee table onto the paper burned.
He made memory, and couldn't remember seeing Azula's trying to burn anything the last time they were there.
He reached for the paper. He knew it was not right to invade her privacy, but he couldn't help it. What could she had possibly written that she need it to burn? What could she have possibly that she didn't want anyone to read? He was only going to take a peek at it. He wasn't even going to read the full paper. He only wanted to know what it was.
He unfolded and recognized her perfect calligraphy. Clear and elegant. His heart skipped when he read the first line.
Sokka:
I don't know where to start. In fact, I don't even know why I'm writing this if you are never going to read it. But I guess I needed to let it out somehow…
NEW YEARS FESTIVAL.
DAY 31
"Please let me talk to her," Sokka begged for the hundred time that morning.
It was the 31st. His last day in the Fire Nation and he wanted, no, he needed to talk to her. He needed to talk to Azula one last time. If not, he was going to regret it his entire life.
He had barely had a couple hours of sleep last night. After he had read them later his mind couldn't find a way to rest. And after reading her words he could understand a little more her reason so push him away. He couldn't blame her, but still...
"The Princess gave us specify order of not letting one inside." replied one of her guards.
How many guards did she have? He had counted at least 8 different faces until now, with them included.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose a little before taking a deep breath. "I know. It's just listen, pal…" he began.
"Sokka?" a voice similar to Azula's called him from the end of the hallway.
"Fire Lady Ursa," he said with a little bow, as Azula's mother got closer to where he was standing.
Ursa had spoken with her husband the previous night about what was happening with Azula and Sokka, so she was a little informed about it. And this morning when she had woken up, she had decided to have a talk with her daughter, but she had run into Sokka instead.
For what she could hear, he was trying to pass thru, but he couldn't for some reason.
"I'm trying to talk with your daughter. But it seems that she gave the specific order of not letting anyone in," he explained her, "And these two gorillas don't want to hear me out. I really need to talk to her. Tomorrow…" his glance when to the floor.
Ursa placed a hand on his shoulder. Her talk with Azula could wait.
"I see," she muttered softly, "Wait a second," she told him, before addressing the two guards at her daughter's door. She cleared her throat and straightened her posture, making her look even more commanding.
Sokka noticed the resemblance in the Fire Lady's movements with Azula's ones. They both reflected a flawless confidence that would make everyone's head in the room turn.
Their mother-daughter similarity was scary.
"Fuuga, Zayaka." said Ursa, "I know the orders my daughter gave. But I am giving you new ones; Let him talk to my daughter." she commanded in a voice so cold that even made Sokka shiver and she wasn't even talking to him. "Privately."
"But Princess Azula…" one of them spoke.
"Fuuga." the Fire Lady said directly to him with a somber glance. "Isn't your mother's birthday coming up soon? I bet you would like to spend her special day with her, wouldn't you? And Zayaka, I hear your younger brother wish to take the test for the Royal guards, right?" both guards nodded. Ursa smirked. "I guess I could help you both with that. If you do me this little favor."
Sokka blinked, dumbstruck. Azula was right. Manipulation does runs in her family. And they were extremely good and terrifying using it. He was perplexed witnessing her mother using it on two guards.
Both guards shared a glance before bowing. "As you wish, your highness." both said at the same time.
"But if the Princess gets mad and force us to run around the perimeter of the Palace till throw up, I will hold you responsible, your highness." the one that answered to the name Fuuga said. "The rest of her guards said she beat them up yesterday for no reason."
"It's okay," she said with a smile. "Tea?"
…
After seeing the two guards and the Fire Lady turn in the corner, Sokka reached her door. Now that he was standing there, he didn't know what to do or what to say.
After a moment, pondering what to do, he knocked.
"Azula?" he said hoping to get a reply from the inside, but there was not. He gulped something inside of him, told him that even though if she wasn't replying, she was there, listening to him at the other side of the door.
Azula walked towards her door as silent as she could. She had thought that she had heard Sokka's voice. She stood still, waiting to hear it again.
"Azula?"
There it was again, Sokka's voice. She hadn't imagined.
"I don't… I don't know if you are listening but…" she heard him muttered.
She got closer to the door to be available to hear him clearly. She could picture him leaned in her door with his forehead resting on the metal while he found the words to say.
"Look, I know you don't wish to see me right now, and…" he gulped. "It took me some time to understand why, but I get it. I get it now. I do. I truly do, but please…" she bit her lower lip when the tears reappeared in her eyes. "I need to... I need to see you, to see your face, your eyes, I need to hear, to hear you calling me an idiot again. Please," he begged desperately. It was his last chance.
Azula sobbed. She wished to see him too. At least one last time. But she doubted that she was strong enough to let him go again. She leaned her back on the door and slid all the way to the floor.
Sokka remained in silence, waiting for an answer, but there was no answer from the inside. Yet, he could still hear quiet sobs. She was listening to him. She was on the other side of the door hearing his words.
He clenched his hands into fists, fighting the urge of opening her door and wrapping his arms around her. But even if he tried, he would possibly discover that she had placed the lock.
"Look, I propose you something, just... give me twenty-four hours, okay? Twenty-four hours is all I ask. We can… We can go eat. We can walk around. Hold hands." he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Please, just let's do it one more time. Just one more time, Azula, please. And then… And then, we would part our ways, okay? Please." his voice was a desperate beg. He didn't know what else to do or say. He slid all the way down to the floor. His back leaned at the door.
Inside, just as desperate to hold him, Azula was having a fight between her heart and mind. She wrapped her arms against her knees that she brought to her chest.
No other sound that their sobs were heard for a moment. "You promised me to take me to your favorite restaurant in the city, remember?"
"Oh... We should come to eat here," Sokka proposed.
"Yeah, we should." the Princess muttered in agreement.
"Then, it's a promise, we are going to come eat here." he reiterated.
"It's a promise," she affirmed.
"Oh... We should come to eat here," Sokka proposed.
"Yeah, we should," Azula muttered in agreement.
"Then, it's a promise, we are going to come eat here." he reiterated.
"It's a promise," she affirmed.
It was his last resource. His last attempt. His last try. If there was no answer, he was going to give up. It meant that nothing in the world could change her mind. And he respected that. There was nothing else he could do. Azula was not coming out.
"Okay," he said after a while, still holding hopes for her to change her mind. But there was nothing, only silence. "I get it. I guess I should go then," he said with tears streaming down his face. He hated this. Hate that something that had made him some happy, -even if it had been for a little amount of day- had an abrupt and horrible end like this one. "But before I go...I just want you to let you know gorgeous… that I could have been happy here… because I would have been with you."
Azula hid her face in her palms and tried to repress her sobs as much as she could. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
"I love you." said Sokka, "I love you, my Princess."
And like that, he walked away.
Sometimes, stories don't have a happy ending.
A/N:
First of all, I must say that this chapter was originally the ending I had planned for the story. (Yeah, an open one.) But then, after pondering it for a while I made up my mind and decided to add more chapters. The 16- their farewells and the Epilogue. So yeah, two more to go.
Another reason to add more chapters was to allow me to advance more chapters of my next story. I'm currently beginning part two of twelve (aprox) So yeah... it's going to be a long... one. Sokkla of course. And after canon, so wait for it. I might upload the first chapter at the same time I upload chapter 16. I will let you know.
Btw, if you wish you can find me in tumblr under the same username, there are tons and tons of Azula, Sokka, Sokkla content over there.
Plus, I want to clear out this. Azula is sending him a way, because she doesn't wishes for him to suffer the same sad destiny as her. Sokka, said it in the first chapter that traveling was part of his life. So for her, taking that away from him and forcing him to stay it probably the cruelest thing. because it would be like taking his freedom. So that's why she is pushing him away. Also, because she know he is just too good and pure that for her, he would give up everything. And she doesn't wants him.
Also, she doesn't wants a long distance relationship because she is scared that he would eventually get tired of the situation and he would brake his heart, so she is breaking theirs first. In this story, only the members of the Royal Family that had served to the army, -Like Lu Ten and Iroh did, which eventually both ended up abdicating- are allowed to leave the Nation. And well Zuko did it too, because his father allowed him, and also because while he was traveling he didn't hold the tittle of Crown Prince. It was until he came back that he regained the title. (Pretty much like in canon, but without the vanishing part.) Azula loves too much her nation to do that.