Sasuke awoke in a dark void. There was nothing at all around him.

"Oh, screw this," he cursed, scowling as he spun around and took in the false dreamscape. "Not this shit again."

He was startled as Naruto spoke up from next to him. "A-again?!" asked the bewildered ninja. "Whaddayou mean 'again?!' And what the hell are you doing here?!"

Sasuke turned in shock. Naruto was now clearly visible beside him, looking at him with what was probably equal surprise. "Wha-? What am I doing here?! What the hell are you doing here?! How did you get inside the Sharingan?!"

"The Sharingan?! No way, man, I didn't even look at you! This is in with the Kyuubi, isn't it?"

"The Kyuubi? N-no! This can't be related to the Kyuubi if I'm here with you, can it? I didn't even try to link up with you or anything!"

"Well I don't know, man!" exclaimed Naruto, nervousness mounting. "He's a big scary demon, alright? What if he had some way to pull me inside and it got you too because you'd been in here before?!"

"No way! I don't care how powerful that demon is, there are limits to the kind of bullshit it can-"

Watch your tongues, fools.

"GAAH!" shouted Naruto, as Sasuke stifled his own scream.

Slowly, they turned around. Behind them was nothing but impenetrable blackness. A moment passed, and Sasuke snapped his fingers, producing a small flame on the tip of his thumb that illuminated an orange muzzle and malignant eye gazing down upon them from barely forty feet away. There were no protective seals or bars between them. Another horrible, heart-stopping moment of terror passed and then the demon huffed a hot breath that extinguished the flame and plunged them all back into darkness.

Both of them gulped.

"Well," said Sasuke, oddly calm. "This had better not be real, or else we're dead. It's as simple as that."

Naruto was still staring back into the darkness with wide eyes. "What... the hell is going on here?"

A voice called out from the darkness, gruff, male, and starkly different from the demon's. "I shall tell you exactly what is happening, do not fear. However, first, allow me to tell you just how very happy I am to see that you all made it this far. And just in time as well."

They looked to the side. An old man in white robes had joined them in the darkness, clearly visible despite the dim light. The man had alabaster skin, pure-white hair, and small horns protruding from his forehead. He looked at Naruto and Sasuke with no small measure of affection, and in his eyes were the concentric circles of the Rinnegan.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at the man... and then back at each other.

Naruto spoke first. "So, who is this guy?"

"Wha-?" asked Sasuke. "You think I know him?"

"This is a Sharingan thing, right? I mean, I've only got a crazy fox in my head, not any old weirdos with magic eyeballs, so this one's gotta be you."

"No! No, it's not a Sharingan thing, alright?!"

"You sure, man?"

"Yes!"

Naruto looked back to the old man. "Okay, so who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing here? What the hell are we doing here? In fact, where the hell is here, anyway?!"

When the man spoke again his words were precise and didactic, though he seemed somewhat dubious at being addressed in such a manner. "I… am Hagoromo. I am the one that you might know as the Sage of Six Paths. And I am very glad to see you all. Naruto... Sasuke... Kurama..."

Naruto boggled. "Sage of- but you- but we-"

He paused.

"...Kurama?" asked Sasuke.

There was a moment of silence before the two young men turned slowly around. Behind them, the menacing bulk of Kurama glimmered in the dark as his lips curled upward to reveal shining fangs.

You… I admit… I had not expected to see you again, Teacher…

"Again?!" asked Naruto. "Holy shit, it really is the Sage!"

"Yes," agreed Hagoromo. "It is. I have put a great deal of effort into preparing for your prophesied arrival at the Divine Tree, and you have arrived with barely minutes to spare. Now that you are here, I-"

"Wait," interrupted Sasuke, holding up a hand. "Before you start with the cryptic proclamations, how about you explain where we are and what we're actually doing here?"

Hagoromo gave Sasuke an exasperated look, very much like a parent debating whether or not to chastise a child for misbehaving. Sasuke's irritation ticked upwards another notch as the sage began to speak.

"I was just about to explain that, and I would request that you remain civil. Though the precise answer to those questions is a little bit technical, suffice it to say that we are in a realm of souls, from which I have chiseled out a small place for us to have this meeting. And do not worry. While we are here, no time will pass in the outside world."

As Sasuke and Naruto watched him, the man gestured behind himself. "As for the why of it... I have been waiting for most of a millennium for you three to reach the Divine Tree."

In the infinite darkness a glowing light appeared that was at first too brilliant to look upon. As their eyes adjusted, it resolved into the image of a round fruit, glowing brightly inside a protective shell that was just beginning to open. Naruto and Sasuke gazed upon the fruit with no small amount of awe, but it was Kurama's reaction that shocked them more. After a moment of silence the fox let out a rumbling noise very different from his normal growls. His eyes were wide and focused, taking in the fruit's majestic light with something like reverence.

It… feels like… home.

Hagoromo nodded. "That does not surprise me. What you see there is as close as you might get to your mother's womb, if that were a concept that were relevant to you. Nevertheless, I am glad to be able to show it to you now."

The sage turned to the boys next, leaving Kurama to watch the fruit in amazement. "For that matter, I am also wonderfully pleased that you two are here together. I was afraid I would have to explain the situation to both of you separately, but it appears my fears were unfounded." He smiled. "It might have taken many centuries, but you were finally able to make amends. I'm proud of both of you."

Sasuke and Naruto shared another look. They got the feeling they would be doing that a lot in the near future. Naruto looked like he was worried about the old guy's mental health, and Sasuke simply looked annoyed in general. Sasuke broke first.

"What's the big deal about us showing up here together?" he asked.

"Why, the two of you are here together because your souls are connected! Your hearts have become... intertwined in a deep and meaningful way."

Almost unconsciously, the two young men took an uncomfortable step away from each other.

"Oh, don't be like that," chastised the older man. "I swear some people get so odd about that kind of thing. Trust me when I say that this is a very good bond for two brothers to share."

"Uhh, what?" asked Naruto. "Sorry, I'm totally lost. Brothers? Centuries? What?"

"Wait," said Sasuke. "Before that, why is the… uh… 'Kurama' here? My heart isn't connected to his as well, is it?"

The sage gave him an exasperated look. "He's here because I called him here. Not everything in the world has to be about you, you know. Now, if you would stop so rudely interrupting everyone perhaps I can actually start explaining matters?"

Sasuke's mouth opened and shut without comment as Naruto snickered at his misfortune.

"I must admit," continued the Sage, pacing back and forth, "-after more than nine centuries of existence as a ghost I have no chakra left to influence events, and no real gifts to give the two of you, but I so very much desired to hang on until I could witness the moment you two fulfilled this prophecy. Perhaps even offer a few words of my wisdom, if I would be so bold. Even if you are both a bit more... scruffy than I had expected, it was worth every moment of the wait. Why, to think my sons would have reconciled so thoroughly! It brings me no small measure of happiness."

The old man's eyes were slightly damp, a fact which made the both of them deeply uncomfortable.

"Sons?" asked Naruto. "Dude, I hate to tell you this but you're clearly going senile. We're not whoever you think we are."

"No, I am definitely correct in this matter," stated the sage, sweeping his hand once again to form out of the darkness a picture of two unfamiliar young men. "Nearly one thousand years ago I had two sons who seemed destined to contend in vicious strife no matter what I did. So strong was their destiny of conflict that they reincarnated again and again, each generation reliving the struggle that had defined them. But... you two turned out to be special… you have broken that violent fate, a feat for which I am deeply thankful. And you have even brought me my old friend, Kurama, though he looks rather more cranky for the experience."

The demon rumbled softly in the darkness.

The centuries have not been pleasant for me, you understand.

"I know. I knew that it would be this way, and I am so sorry." The alabaster man nodded his head to indicate Naruto, who was staring at them like a dead fish. "Rest assured that your troubles should be mostly over. This young man here is the one prophesied to save you from your long imprisonment."

Naruto blinked. "Uhhhh…. I am?"

Teacher, he does not exactly inspire confidence.

"I admit that I expected a slightly different presentation from my son, yes," said Hagoromo, scratching thoughtfully at the base of one of his horns. "A bit more... respectable, perhaps…"

"You thought Naruto would be respectable?" asked Sasuke. "Clearly you haven't watched us at all."

"I… mostly ran out of chakra about two centuries ago," admitted the sage. "I decided to go into hibernation until it was time for the main event, so to speak."

"So you waited until now to speak to us? How did you even know we'd both make it here alive?"

"Yeah," agreed Naruto. "Assuming I believe all this stuff, shouldn't you have been telling us important things earlier if you wanted to make sure we didn't bite the dust before getting here?"

Hagoromo looked dumbfounded. "Did you not hear me say the word 'prophecy' again and again? Of course you'd make it here alive! You'd hardly die to something as unimportant as random thugs and leave the prophecy unfulfilled!"

"We… uhh… some people said that prophecy didn't actually work that way…?"

The sage huffed. "Well, it sounds as though those people don't even understand basic divination. What's the point of prophecy at all if it could be undone so easily? You might as well call it a wild guess!"

Naruto and Sasuke shared a confused look.

"Oh, come on," said Hagoromo, his obvious frustration mounting. "Why is there such uncertainty from you two? All of this should have been clear as day! You read all about this on the Poneglyph I left for you!"

"The- the Pone-what?" asked Naruto, having avoided most matters of those odd stones entirely. "Those big message-boulder things?"

The sage rolled his eyes, a feat that looked very odd with the Rinnegan. "Yes! You know, the stone I left for you that told you when the Fruit would be ripening, and how to get to the Divine Tree, and…" Suddenly Hagoromo's eyes went wide with shock. "Goodness gracious, what has happened to your Rinnegan?!"

The sage was looking in Sasuke's direction. The young man reflexively turned to look behind himself, as though the question might have been addressed to someone else in the background, though he was quite certain there was literally no way this could be the case. He turned back around, bewildered. If anything, the sage looked even more bewildered than he did.

"I… uhhh… I don't have one?" asked Sasuke, still uncertain as to why the question had been addressed to him.

"Well, why not?!"

"I'm… sorry?"

"You should be!"

"Was I supposed to steal a pair for myself or something? I wasn't aware there were some special optical guidelines for saving the world..."

The sage winced and waved his hands in apology before turning around and starting to speak to himself as he paced back and forth. "No, no, no, whatever is happening here? None of this makes sense! This is all wrong! How did they even read the Poneglyph without the Rinnegan?!"

Naruto, meanwhile, had transitioned away from confusion into a state of irritation. "Dude, you've got like thirty seconds to start making some sense before I start beating the crap outta you, sage or not."

Silence, brat. Show some respect.

The words spilled out of the darkness filled with sullen menace, and Sasuke could see the moment when Naruto considered plunging onward regardless of the demon's threat. The sage ignored all this completely, so Sasuke turned to interrupt his friend.

"Wait, Naruto, didn't Rayleigh talk about a Poneglyph on our island? The one that Tobi found?"

That got the sage's attention. "Tobi? Who would that be?"

"Well, he, uh... he's the one who actually has the Rinnegan, for starters."

The sage stared him down. "Look, I'm sorry to ask this, but are you absolutely sure you're who I'm looking for? I mean, I know you two are incarnations of my sons, but if it's this Tobi fellow that gained the Rinnegan, passed my tests, and found the Poneglyph, then…"

There was a moment of awkward silence as the sage looked uncertainly in their direction. The two of them stared back, not sure how to answer the question. It would have been easy to say this conversation wasn't going the way that Naruto and Sasuke had expected it, except that they hadn't expected it at all.

"Passed your tests?" asked Naruto, completely lost again. "I don't think Tobi could pass a test with a cheat sheet, man. He's kind of dumb."

The sage seemed quite worked up now. "No, no, no! In order to gain access to the Poneglyph I set several tests in place to judge the character of the prophesied ones! Courage, Wisdom, Strength, and at the end you would come to understand the true meaning of friendship and brotherhood! I planned it all out so you two would make amends! And it worked! You two being here together is proof of that!"

He looked at Naruto and Sasuke with something like desperation in his eyes, but if he wanted reassurance then they were clearly fresh out.

"I don't think Tobi did any of that," said Naruto, scratching his head in confusion. "He didn't even know the meaning of friendship at all until I told him about it a few weeks ago. I'm serious. He thought friendship was some weird sort of truce people who wanted to kill each other had sometimes. He definitely didn't mention any tests either."

Sasuke nodded. "We heard about the stone, though we never saw it ourselves. A different guy, Gold Roger, went through a couple decades ago and passed the tests with his friend, but he didn't have the Rinnegan either. He read the thing by listening to… voices in his head or something, I dunno, it wasn't very clear. Besides, Tobi is just kind of a dumb murderer, not some saviour of the world. I'm thinking that Tobi either snuck in and peeked at the stone afterward or he just skipped all that stuff some other way."

"He skipped my tests?!" exclaimed the sage. "That scurrilous jackass! Is he out there right now?! Tell him he should be ashamed of himself!"

"He took the Rinnegan from some other dead guy who had it, and now he wants to bring that same guy back to life and give him his eyes back," elaborated Sasuke.

"That fraud of a toad!" shouted Hagoromo, apoplectic with rage. "What the hell kind of prophecy is this?! Misplaced destiny, Rinnegan hot-potato, and no meaning of friendship at the end of it all?! I want to wring his warty little neck!"

"As for the prophecy," continued Sasuke, relentlessly crushing this man's dreams with meticulous glee. "-Naruto here is definitely the guy the toads say is the real deal, but they don't seem to have a clue what to do about all of it either. I don't know what else you want from us."

The sage seemed to actually notice them again, rather than just angrily reacting to whatever they were saying. "Why aren't you two older?"

The two boys blinked.

"Don't give me that look," ordered the sage, glaring at the flabbergasted expression on Naruto's face. "You're too young! The prophecy strongly implied that your experience and wisdom would lead you through the greatest challenges you-"

He stopped mid-sentence because Sasuke had burst into open laughter. Even Naruto looked dubious.

"Why are you laughing?!" cried the sage. "This isn't funny!"

"Experience and wisdom?!" exclaimed Sasuke. "Naruto?! He's just a dumb goofball!"

"You both look like 'dumb goofballs' from where I'm standing!"

"Hey, I'm plenty wise, man!" argued Naruto. "Don't count me out!"

"Alright, hold on," said Sasuke, still chuckling. "So, why do you keep talking about me like I'm a part of this? Naruto's the 'Child of the Prophecy,' or whatever."

The sage's sigh was explosive. "No, not 'child!' 'Children!' Children of the prophecy! Both of you together! I was sure of it! Didn't they talk to you?! Was nobody paying any attention at all?!"

"That is not what the toads said," insisted Sasuke.

"That senile old wart-gathering swamp-gas huffer! What was he thinking?!"

"Wait," said Naruto. "They also said this prophecy guy or whatever would be taught by Jiraiya, and he's my teacher, not Sasuke's."

Suddenly the sage looked uncertain. There was a moment of silence, during which a monumental sigh could be heard from behind them.

All of you are colossal fools.

"Er," began Hagoromo, staunchly ignoring the massive demon. "...Look, I've been dead for nearly a thousand years. I don't remember anything about a 'Jiraiya,' but it's a little bit late for me to go back and check my notes. I think there was something in there about, 'they shall come with the aid of the thunder, bearing its power and flame in their hearts…'"

"...and 'Young Thunder' is one possible reading of 'Jiraiya'..." mused Sasuke. "Even if you call his teaching of Naruto passing the will of fire into his heart… that's still a pretty tenuous connection. And it also doesn't change the fact that he wasn't my teacher."

The sage looked stricken.

Sasuke coughed. "I mean… I guess Jiraiya taught me a little bit when we were on Water-7, but that was just-"

"Make up your minds!" shouted Hagoromo.

"Alright, look," said Sasuke, shaking his head. "Let's start over. What are we actually doing here? We were just about to charge in to save the world or whatever and we get pulled into this… place. I've already spent three days inside the Sharingan just today, so honestly the end of the world is starting to seem less and less immediate to me. It's starting to get boring. How long are we going to be in here? Should we start putting up curtains, or what?"

Hagoromo looked at him suspiciously. "You... make it sound as though there's some kind of emergency going on…?"

Naruto groaned and stabbed a finger in the direction of the glowing fruit. "Oh, for the love of- Listen! Tobi is right now, as we speak, making this dumbass fruit ripen, and we're the only ones here to stop him! If we don't take the damn thing for ourselves then he's going to kill himself to bring some nasty freak from the past back to life and the world is gonna be in really bad shape! Not that it even matters because we're way outgunned and we're probably just gonna die without accomplishing anything anyway! That sound like an emergency to you, old fart?!"

The sage grabbed his forehead in both hands and massaged furiously. "Oh, no... I was worried about this. I wondered why the prophecy said it was so important that you both come here. You can't take the Fruit for yourselves. That would be terrible."

"Terrible?" asked Sasuke.

Hagoromo nodded. "Look."

Abruptly, the darkness shifted around them into a diorama of the entire world. A blue planet of oceans and islands, with the occasional small continent here and there. The world was sectioned off into two hemispheres by an immense, perfectly straight mountain range. Immediately, Sasuke was struck with a single overpowering thought.

"This isn't natural," he said, looking at a world that disobeyed everything he knew about geology. "No way does an entire planet arrange itself this way naturally."

"Correct," said Hagoromo. "My mother, Kaguya, rearranged the world at the height of her power in an attempt to keep the many kingdoms from going to war. Much later I tried to undo some of her worst excesses, but I didn't have the same control of her strength."

"Yeah, we heard the story," said Sasuke.

Naruto nodded. "Is it true you had a super crush on a mermaid? Was she your wife or something? How does that even work?"

The sage smiled softly, but with pained eyes. "I'm afraid the mermaid princess perished during the assault. She was a wonderful woman, and her loss was sorely felt, especially by the merfolk. It was several decades before Poseidon's gift returned to her people, during which time they were stamped down to but a remnant of their former strength."

"Yikes, sorry man."

"Ancient history," said Hagoromo, waving a hand to dispel the memories. "I like to believe that her spirit lives on in her descendants… Nevertheless, this is not what I wanted to speak about, though I am curious about how you knew about that story if you didn't even read any Poneglyphs. The point is that the unbelievable power of the fruit can affect the planet on a massive scale, and that is because of one simple fact."

As he spoke, a gentle glow suffused the image of the massive globe, pulsating in tune with the rhythm of the Divine Fruit still visible in the darkness.

"Living things, as well as many natural forces, all produce and rely upon chakra. But that energy of life and growth does not spring forth from nothing. Though all life produces chakra, the chakra that produces life comes from the Divine Tree itself, or, perhaps more accurately, from the sun."

"The sun?" asked Naruto. "The sun is alive?"

Hagoromo shook his head. "No. Or, at least, I don't think so. That is what makes the Divine Tree so special. Just as a normal tree takes in sunlight for energy, the Divine Tree takes in the sunlight to produce the pure energy of life. Over a thousand years it produces a fruit that contains all the energy it has gathered, at which point it returns it to the ocean. This not only invigorates and refreshes the life-energy of the planet, but also creates life from nothing. The Devil Fruits are what happen as a side effect of this process; intelligences of pure life-force that are connected to the vast pool of the world's energies."

As Sasuke and Naruto processed this, the darkness rumbled from behind them.

And what of me?

Hagoromo nodded. The image of the globe disappeared, leaving behind a shifting and swirling vortex of glowing golden energy. Gradually, tiny bumps began to appear on the surface of the vortex, each one gaining an almost animal-like form, but still remaining anchored to its surface.

"These are the Devil Fruits," said Hagoromo. "Each one of them is a more or less intelligent being that is connected to the limitless energy of the world but seeks union with a mortal. Humans are most appealing to them, though animals are often acceptable as well. They live vicariously through those they possess, but will always return to the great well of the earth's energy when their host dies. They are far more strongly connected to the planet than to their host, you see."

A gesture from the old man, and a massive clump of energy split off from the glowing fruit, becoming a smaller sphere that floated above the planet's surface, completely separate from the rest of it. Slowly, its color changed until it had become blood red.

"When the Divine Fruit was consumed by my mother, that energy never had a chance to connect with the planet's well. That energy is you, Kurama. You and your brothers and sisters. Souls combined with a nearly limitless energy that exist completely separated from the rest of the planet. Now, being separate means that unlike the others you can assume a physical form on your own. It also means that…"

A massive, furry claw extended out from the darkness and encircled the crimson ball of energy, clutching it and pulling it away from the rest until it rested in his paw like a jewel.

It also means that I can be endlessly imprisoned by humans seeking to abuse my power each and every time I am reborn from a painful death.

Hagoromo sighed. "Yes, that is indeed correct. Though a Devil Fruit will stay with its host for the duration of their lifetime, they can choose not to rejoin the world if it does not suit them. Though, as I have been led to understand by the several I have talked to, the overwhelming majority of those demons find their existences to be quite enjoyable. That is the true problem here. As a spiritual creature that is not connected to the planet you are very vulnerable to being sealed and coerced. You have no freedom, and are condemned to a hell you can never escape."

"Geez, that sucks ass," remarked Naruto. The demon clenched his claws, popping the ball of energy as he whirled upon Naruto.

What right have you to complain of this?! You and your kin have trapped me in this manner for ages untold!

"Wha-? Look, man, I didn't want this either alright? I was just a baby when this happened! I'm trying to see it from your side here!"

Always the same with you people! Hundreds of years of being passed from person to person, and hundreds of years of excuses! Your lives flicker out in an eyeblink, leaving me as an inheritance to the next miserable creature who will assuredly come prepared with another fresh excuse!

"Kurama!" snapped the sage. "Control yourself!"

Kurama roared, turning to all three of them as they covered their ears and recoiled from the blast of sound.

"Kurama!" shouted Hagoromo, barely audible at all inside the vortex of noise. "All of this ends here! If there's any truth to the prophecy at all, then this is the boy that breaks the cycle!"

And with what?! He is no legendary warrior and he is certainly no great wit! The only thing he has is power! MY power!

"Shut! Up!" screamed Naruto. "I am so goddamn sick and tired of being tossed back and forth like destiny's plaything, alright?! So both of you quit telling me what I'm supposed to be doing already!"

You see?! The brat has no interest in-

"SHUT UP!" shouted Naruto once more. "That means you too, man!"

The demon growled and roared, which Naruto responded to by screaming as loudly as he could straight into Kurama's face. To everyone's surprise, this actually seemed to cause the demon to pause, looking down at the young man as if he had gone completely mad.

"Enough of this shit!" yelled Naruto, turning to jab a finger in the sage's direction. "Every goddamn time I hear about this prophecy it's to tell me that I'm probably some super amazing guy who's gonna make all the right decisions like it wasn't ever even in doubt! I don't know what the hell I'm doing, alright?! And clearly you don't know either, or else you'd just tell me what's what and stop being such a vague dick about it!"

"Well, I mean, I-" started Hagoromo, before Naruto interrupted him by switching his attention to the fox.

"And every time you start talking you make me out like I'm one of the worst people you've ever met in your whole life! Like I'm just sitting around spending all of my time coming up with excuses to screw you over so I can take your power! Haven't you even been watching me in my life?! I hated being like this! Having you shoved inside me killed my parents! If I could undo this whole thing right now then I'd do it! Nobody deserves to be enslaved like that! Not me, and not you either!"

It costs you very little to say-

"NO! I'm not goddamn finished yet! You want me to put up or shut up, huh?! Well fine! Sage-man! You know all about this sealing crap, right?! Do your thing and get Kurama outta me and into the earth for real! Right here, right now!"

"...Naruto, I-"

"What the hell are you waiting for?! My written permission or something?! Do it!"

The sage was silent for a moment. Uncharacteristically, Kurama went silent as well. Sasuke simply watched from the sidelines, stunned by his best friend's sudden outburst. Moments passed, and just as Naruto started to growl in frustration he noticed tears slipping down Hagoromo's wrinkled face.

"Naruto…" said the sage. "I loved Kurama and the others as if they were my own children… I had hoped that the world might treat them more kindly than it has, but even when I was alive I knew that it was only that. A forlorn hope. I knew that they could be taken by strife and misery before even a century had passed."

The sage looked up, his tear-soaked gaze meeting Naruto's burning eyes. "Do you think I wouldn't have set them free in an instant if I had been capable of it? I prayed to the heavens for that power, but that wish was never granted. His chakra is far too much like a human's after spending so long as part of my mother. For that matter, permanently removing a being like Kurama from your body would be fatal for you, no matter how we did it."

"Wha-?" asked Naruto. "But if you can't do it… then how the hell am I supposed to…"

You never were supposed to do anything. The prophecy is a sham. All of this is just useless blathering.

"Kurama," said the sage. "Be mindful of the boy's heart. Surely you can see the honest wish that desires to set things right. He's not like the others."

No, perhaps not, but his hopes and dreams help me little.

The sage nodded. "No, but I assure you that there is a way to reach a good outcome here, because this young man has access to a particular item that I never did. And that brings me to my next point."

Every image that had decorated the darkness disappeared, leaving only the glowing fruit in between them all.

"The millennial fruit must return to the ocean," he said, stating this with absolute certainty. "The world relies on its cycle of rejuvenation to combat stagnation and decay, and in the thousand years since Mother took the fruit for herself it has already begun a slow downturn towards oblivion. If it happens a second time then that decay may become more severe than humanity can bear. It will be many millennia before the Earth recovers her former glory, if at all."

Despite the serious message, Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief. "Okay, I can get behind that. I never wanted to be a god anyway. So we get the fruit and toss it into the ocean. Can do."

Sasuke spoke up next. "That may make our task impossible. Getting the fruit and eating it was already going to be tough enough, but getting it away from our enemies without taking its power may be more than we can accomplish. I'm hoping you have a little more help for us than just words of wisdom."

The sage looked deeply weary. "I'm sorry... I have no power to give you two. Merely appearing before you is straining everything I have left…"

There was silence as the sage appeared to consider something. For once, nobody interrupted him.

"Actually… there may be something I can do for you after all. Three things, in fact. The first…"

There was a confused moment as copies of the sage appeared directly in front of each of them. His palm pressed against their chests at the same time, and then both of them felt a jolt of fire run through their systems. Before they could react, the sage had reappeared in his previous position.

The two young men looked down at themselves in surprise, feeling the odd sensation travel through them. Both Naruto and Sasuke felt… bigger somehow. Like… their hearts were wider? It was difficult to tell what had happened.

"What was that?" asked Sasuke, scanning himself and Naruto with the Sharingan, but finding little changed. "Was this 'unlocking our hidden potential' or something like that?"

"No, nothing like that," said Hagoromo, shaking his head. "Whoever puts these damnfool ideas into the heads of young men I'll never be sure. As I said already, I haven't the chakra to oppose your foes with my own power. I'm afraid that you two will have to face your greatest challenge yet with only the strength that you have cultivated within yourselves, rather than that I might have bestowed upon you." He smiled. "But that's not so bad, is it?"

'I dunno,' thought Naruto. 'Some godlike sage power would really come in handy right about now.'

Sasuke turned his head. Huh, that had almost sounded like Naruto had said something.

Naruto looked in his direction. "Did you just say something, man?"

Sasuke blinked in surprise, opening his mouth to respond. Then he hesitated, a dark suspicion coming over him. 'No… wait… he wouldn't have…'

Naruto's eyes widened. The sage was smiling again. "Old man, what the hell did you do to us?!"

Hagoromo coughed. "I maintain to this day that the greatest wonder of chakra is its ability to connect one person's heart to that of another. It was, in fact, the main reason I spread the knowledge of the chakra arts at all, though fair few ever saw fit to use them the way I intended. It seems that most people are simply too frightened to expose their hearts, even to a trusted companion. When given the choice they'd much rather shoot lightning from their mouths or other such... frivolities."

He chuckled, as Naruto and Sasuke gawked in dawning horror, their faces poems written in stunned betrayal. "In your cases, however, I have made that choice for you. Trust me when I say it will be for the best."

The two of them exploded in protest, only to stumble when they caught themselves trying to speak over the other's vocal and mental indignation at the same time.

"Yes?" asked the sage.

Naruto broke first. "What did you do to us?! I can- shut up! I can hear, like, everything he's thinking!"

"How do we stop this?!" exclaimed Sasuke.

"Oh, you can't stop it. Not like you are now. Do not fret. The link will settle down shortly, and a few months of practice should be enough to completely avoid sending thoughts you don't wish shared. Actually breaking the link, however, would require the work of a master."

He raised a finger. "And before you ask, I will not do that for you, so you can forget it."

"A FEW MONTHS?!" shouted Sasuke.

"It's a gradual process. Like I said, the link will settle down very shortly, and then most of your complaints should be resolved."

"What the-" began Naruto, before he started smacking his own head. "-ah, damnit! Stop, stop, stop! What the hell does 'very shortly' mean?!"

Sasuke groaned and put a hand to his own head. "Old man, you don't know what you've done! You've linked my mind to Naruto! Naruto! Naruto, stop thinking about that!"

"Sorry, man... trying…!"

Sasuke collapsed to his knees. "You've killed me," he moaned. "Months?! I'll be dead within a week…!"

"Yes," nodded the sage. "You always were the more dramatic of my sons."

"I'm not your son!" yelled Sasuke.

"Yes," nodded the sage. "He used to say things like that as well."

"Well maybe you should have learned something from it, asshole! You're a terrible father!"

"Yes," nodded the sage. "That too. Needlessly hurtful, I always thought."

"Screw you, you senile old coot!"

Hagoromo rolled his eyes. "Such a whiner, this one. You should already notice the link stabilizing as we speak. By the time you leave this place it will transfer nothing more than surface thoughts, and you should find it no more onerous than talking. Use this to facilitate teamwork and you will have a weapon that no one else will see coming."

As Sasuke continued struggling to control his own mind, Naruto seemed to be thoughtful on a different topic. "Man, Sakura's gonna be pissed when she finds out we've got a way to send messages without her knowing about it."

'Yeah,' thought Sasuke. 'Yeah she will.'

The sage cleared his throat. "I've included instructions for reproducing the effect with another person, if that helps you two decide. You could bring her into the link as well."

"No!" exclaimed both of them, sudden realization hitting them like a lightning bolt as their protective instincts jumped on the consequences of unintentionally sharing certain… thoughts that the teenagers might have had over the years. The two of them looked at each other uncomfortably without quite sharing eye contact.

'Man,' thought Naruto. 'This is gonna be tough to get used to.'

The sage frowned at them. "You're clearly being too worried about unimportant nonsense, but no matter. Regardless, now you will be able to connect with each other no matter the distance between you. Surely I don't have to explain the benefits of that."

Naruto nodded, a nasty grin already returning to his face. "Might come in handy when you're off sailing the ocean with your new buddies, Sasuke. Not that it'll be easy for me to come and pull your ass out of the fire when Luffy does something stupid. I'll be way too busy making Konoha bow before me to take time off."

"Sure," said Sasuke, returning to his feet with a resigned expression. "I look forward to hearing all about how you're screwing everything up in real time, dork."

Naruto laughed, and Sasuke directed another glare in the sage's direction. "Old man, as much as I hate to remind you, you said that you had three things to give us. I hope the other two aren't as much of a double-edged sword as this one was."

"Ah, yes I did say that. True, true. Though you might call this second matter less of a gift and more of an… opportunity. Naruto, I have opened a safe channel of communication between you and Kurama. He will be able to speak with you through the seal, and vice-versa. It is up to the two of you to make the most of it."

"Huh?" asked Naruto. "Why?"

The fox grumbled his own assent in the background, and the sage held up a hand before continuing.

"I cannot order the two of you to do anything, and Kurama, I would not dream of compelling you to act according to my wishes after all you have suffered, but I will ask this of you, old friend. I promise you that there is still a chance to gain your freedom at the end of this, but only if you three can win the day. This matter absolutely requires victory. Please consider lending Naruto what aid you can."

He could not possibly master even a tiny fragment of my power. Even less than a single tail of my energy would drive him to a murderous rage.

"Y-yeah," admitted Naruto, rubbing his head in embarrassment. "It... never works out for me very well. And I don't think being really angry will help me now either. I think if it really turns into a knockout brawl between me and a guy that took down an Admiral then I'm just gonna lose, no matter how much extra chakra I have."

Hagoromo nodded. "Unlike a physical being, Kurama is a being of pure chakra. Channeling his power is the same as channeling Kurama himself, and he is clearly far too enraged for a young man like you to contain him. The only way you could possibly control more than a sliver of his energy would be to defeat him in a battle of wills, and I would be quite disappointed in you if you were to try. That's exactly what has been done to him for centuries, after all."

Then he tossed a glare in the demon's direction. "That said… Kurama, I know it's too much to ask for you to help him eagerly, but you could stand to cool your temper. This is the final battle. You will be fighting for the freedom of all of your siblings. Please do me proud out there."

It might have been Sasuke's imagination, but the demon looked somewhat chastised by Hagoromo's fatherly rebuke. Before any of them could respond, Hagoromo moved on. "This brings me straight to my third gift. We must hurry now, because we are running out of time. Our earlier confusion used up a great deal of time that would have been better spent preparing, and this frozen moment will soon be over. After this I will be mostly gone from this world. Are you all listening?"

Stunned, all three of those who were still alive focused their attention.

"Good. My last gift is the method by which Kurama and his siblings can be freed from this cycle and safely linked to the earth. Naruto, this may take years or even decades of dedication to hunt down every last one of them and see them set free, but I choose to believe in that earnest wish that you showed us earlier. If you truly believe that no one deserves enslavement then you have a chance to right a wrong that has been perpetrated for a thousand years. This is a task worthy of a legendary hero, one that I myself could not accomplish, but if you win this battle today then you will have everything you need. Do you understand what is at stake?"

Gulping, Naruto nodded, and the sage smiled in acknowledgement.

"Thank you. Truly, thank you. Then, here is what you must do..."

They listened.

-Inner Sanctum-

Time resumed its normal flow several subjective minutes later. Sakura, Hinata, and Chopper stumbled as their preparation countdown was interrupted mid-sentence, but Sasuke picked up the thread that Naruto had dropped.

"Three! Go, go, go!"

They scattered.

Sakura, Hinata, and Chopper broke towards the Tree. Sasuke grabbed the tiny chunk of seastone from his pack and whipped it in Naruto's direction. Naruto grabbed the rock from midair, slipped it into a pocket, and began his dash for the fruit, clapping his hands together as he molded the chakra for a summoning technique. Finally, Sasuke charged straight at Danzou, eyes locked on the man who had killed his family. Danzou was scrupulously avoiding eye-contact, and Sasuke was pretty sure he knew why.

He chuckled to himself. The old man was still afraid of getting stuck in the Tsukuyomi with Itachi, and Sasuke had no intention of telling him that his brother wasn't watching over his shoulder any longer.

'Hey,' thought Naruto. 'We're not gonna tell the others about the sage?'

'Don't see the point,' thought Sasuke. 'We don't want to pause to talk in front of these three monsters, and we didn't learn anything that changes the plan. You've got what you need, so let's focus on what's in front of us.'

A feeling of agreement passed between them, and then there was no more time for chatter. Danzou glanced towards the group heading for the tree and brought his hands up to perform Ninjutsu. Sasuke's arm blurred as his engraved pistol slid into place and fired. The high-speed bullet surprised Danzou, grazing his arm as he lunged out of the way and completely interrupting the technique.

"You've got no free time to worry about anyone but me, old man!" grinned Sasuke, dashing forward with both weapons at the ready.

Off to the side, Naruto finished his summons, clapping both palms together with a thunderous noise that was far louder than it had any right to be.

[NINPO: KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU]

No tremendous toad came forth. Instead, as he burst through the cloud of smoke, the two elders of the clan, Fukasaku and Shima, appeared on his shoulders, already badgering him about a secret technique to help him absorb Sage chakra from the environment. A conversation that Sasuke seemed to hear all of due to the heart-link between them.

Honestly, Sasuke had expected bigger guns from Naruto than two tiny, elderly toads. Whatever, if Naruto thought the two old toads were a good start, then he'd believe it. Despite the teasing Sasuke normally dished out, Naruto usually knew what he was doing.

His final realization before battle was joined was that Naruto had certainly heard him think that rather embarrassing thought.

'Yeah, man. Yeah, I did.'

This really was going to be difficult to get used to.

A/N:

Despite how it seems, next chapter we're ducking over to what's been happening with the rest of the crew before returning here. When I've been writing this I've always been thinking 'organize it like an episode or chapter of the source material.' That means often resolving things in a roughly chronological order, no matter how weird it may seem from time to time.

To be perfectly clear about what happened in this chapter, since it differs wildly from canon, Naruto and Sasuke received no explicit powerups whatsoever from their meeting with the sage. No Rinnegan or Super God Sage Super Saiyan chakra or anything like that. For that matter, any strength Naruto may gain from starting to work with Kurama right now is naturally inferior to what he might have gained from mastering Kurama's power through force in one fell swoop and then earning his trust afterwards. It's too late in this story for wild power-ups out of nowhere.

But that isn't so bad, is it?

Well, we'll see.

As such, the only benefits they have gained here are the words of… uhh... 'wisdom' that they have been offered and the heart-link formed from their friendship. I always thought it was odd that in canon Hagoromo brought chakra arts to the masses specifically to teach them how to bring peace and understanding to the world by connecting their hearts to others, but in practice this is never touched upon and barely brought up ever again.

In other words, as it stands currently the two of them are working with mostly their own strength.

But this is what I wanted. In this timeline Naruto and Sasuke were not driven to gain massive power at any cost, and it would be inappropriate to give them that power anyway. Instead, they have the anime superpower of being generally well-adjusted people. And, of course, the One Piece superpower of having kickass friends. We'd better hope that's enough to see them through.

Also, prophecies are bullshit. Seriously.