Author's Notes:
A quiet chapter again, mostly to show Hermione trying to settle in her new place as well as the continuously strained contact with Draco. Don't worry too much; the big talk is going to happen! (I'm currently about three or four chapters ahead...)
As always, my huge thanks go to luunascope for finding the time to proofread the chapter despite her life becoming exhaustingly busy! 3 3 Thank you!
And to all those lovely ladies who keep listening to my doubts and ramblings, and who answer my many questions with a lot of patience! Debbie, Katie, Lis, and Amy—love you all to pieces!
Now, enjoy! :-)
Chapter 20 - Willow Wands And Orders Of Merlin
"Well, well... What an honour, Miss Granger."
Hermione had barely entered Mr Ollivander's wand shop when he greeted her with a surprisingly empathetic smile; she blushed and quickly looked behind her to make sure Draco came in as well. He had agreed to escort her when everyone else already had other plans this morning, albeit rather reluctantly.
"And good morning, Mr Malfoy." Ollivander came forth from behind the desk to greet them both properly before walking to the door to switch the sign to 'closed'. "I'm glad to see you brought her back safely."
Draco opened his mouth for a reply, but Hermione silenced him with a glance. "Thanks for agreeing to receive me privately; it is highly appreciated."
Ollivander nodded and returned to his desk. "I remember the day you bought your first wand. Vine, dragon heartstring, 10 ¾ inches, and unyielding. A remarkable wand for a highly remarkable witch..."
"Yes," Hermione replied, following the old man to the desk; she felt as nervous as the first time she had been in here, although this time, she knew the procedure. "It was taken from me, and I don't know whether I'll ever get it back."
"Yes, yes..." Without paying her explanation too much attention, Ollivander entered the shelf area of his shop, filled with wands over wands, immediately looking at labels while talking to himself in an incomprehensive murmur.
Hermione turned back to the entrance of the shop, where Draco was standing, watching everything from afar. She was still getting used to his presence, but after spending the last two evenings discussing the books she had read that day, it started to feel less awkward. However, the subject of their break-up still loomed over them, and they would have to discuss it sooner rather than later.
Draco nodded towards the desk when Ollivander returned with a first box, then leaned against the wall next to the entrance.
"I don't think vine still fits you, Ms Granger," Ollivander said as he handed her the first wand to try. "Ash, with a dragon heartstring. If you would be so nice as to give it a swirl..."
The moment she touched the wood, she knew ash wood wasn't going to work out—it felt stubborn, not complying. Yet, she tried to cast a spell. "Orchideous."
"No, I can see that won't work..." Ollivander snatched the wand from her hand as the resulting bouquet wasn't worth mentioning and returned to the shelves, murmuring to himself. "Maybe with a unicorn hair? No..."
Hermione was surprised when she saw him return moments later with two boxes containing wands. Curious, she watched him unpack the first one—black and with a slight shine to it.
"Ebony. Dragon heartstring. I'm not sure about this, but then, it's the wand that chooses the wizard, right?"
Hermione reached for the wand he held out for her, only to look back to Draco who simply nodded with the briefest of smiles. It felt reassuring, so she tried to repeat her spell with the ebony wand. The wood felt more comfortable in her hand, but it still wasn't a perfect match. "Orchideous."
"Better, but still not perfect." Ollivander again snatched the wand out of her hand without any further explanation. Moments later, he handed her wand in a rich light brown. "Willow. Again, dragon heartstring. This one showed the strongest pull..."
Simply holding the wand in her hand was a revelation—this one was perfect! She could feel a sense of completeness roll through her whole body, causing goose bumps to erupt all over her skin; she couldn't help but smile in relief. Grasping it firmly, she turned around towards Draco, only to aim in his direction with a quick raise of her eyebrow. "Orchideous."
The wand produced one of the most beautiful bouquets of flowers she had ever seen; Draco caught it just in time.
Even Mr Ollivander smiled as she returned her attention to him. "Willow is said to have healing powers, Ms Granger. From the little I heard, you have a lot of healing to do."
She nodded and glanced over to Draco who looked out of the window to check the street, absentmindedly fiddling with the bouquet in his hands. Ollivander was right, she had a lot of healing to do, and some of it was going to be painful. But right now, she was happy to have a wand once more, as it made her feel complete and able to defend herself.
..
Shortly after, they were back on the street which only started to fill with other wizarding folk out to get their shopping done; Draco was carrying the box that contained everything that she had eventually purchased at Ollivander's—except for the wand which she had immediately placed in its usual pocket hiding in her winter coat. They had even kept the bouquet she had produced with her new wand.
"Thanks for coming along," she said, turning around as he walked behind her with a rather pensive expression on his face. She had caught him many times trying to hide it as soon as she looked at him during his visits for a tea. "A Sickle for your thoughts."
He shook his head, only to hide his thoughts behind a smile before he checked the time on his watch. "If we hurry, we can bring your items back to your place before they want to see us at the Ministry."
She smiled softly when she heard the concern in his voice. "I'm feeling good, there's no need to be worried, okay?"
He stopped mid-step to look at her, his eyes again a stormy grey which made her gasp silently; this time, he wasn't hiding anything.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–"
"Just... let it be." He sighed deeply and rubbed his face with his free hand. "There's no use discussing things right now, as much as we should."
"Draco, that's not what–"
"I'm not going to repeat this, so listen... It's nice to be back on speaking terms, that you no longer run away, okay?" he said with a crack in his voice; clenching his jaw, he glared at her as if he was daring her to interrupt him. "That doesn't mean I don't have a load of things I want to tell you, things I think you need to hear before we can make any progress from this little dance we're having right now. But now is not the time... Not with the press conference at the Ministry."
She opened her mouth to say something, but then decided not to continue the topic; he was right, now was not the time to talk about it, as much as she could see his desire to do exactly that. "Let's go straight to the Ministry, then. We can put my things in my office, and maybe we still have some time for a quick cup in the cafeteria."
Swallowing hard, he nodded in acceptance of her peace offering and then continued to walk towards the Leaky Cauldron.
Hermione could see how tense he was, how much it took him to remain calm—the slowly established comfort between them gone within moments, painfully reminding her of the thin line they were continuously walking ever since her rescue. She simply wished she could give him the peace he longed for, but life—and their relationship—had never been simple.
..
Hermione was greeted by the sight of the Weasley family waiting when she entered the Auror Department with Draco behind her. They hadn't said a word on the rest of their way here, but she was glad that he was her escort, keeping everyone at bay who wanted to ask her a few questions as they made their way across the atrium.
"Hermione!" a chorus of voices exclaimed as they saw her—Molly came towards her for an embrace, with Ron and his brothers following suit, all of them wearing a relieved and happy smile.
Overwhelmed with the prospect of being buried in a group hug, Hermione stepped backwards until she came in contact with Draco who kept her from losing her balance. Surprised at the touch of his hand against her shoulder, she looked at him. "Thanks."
He shrugged. "I'll bring your items to your office."
Still focused on watching Draco walk over, she was pulled into an embrace by Molly; for a few seconds, she tried to break free, but then she just let the Weasley matriarch hold her tight, focusing on her breathing as long as she was held like that.
"I'm so happy to see you again," Molly said with tears in her eyes as she finally let go again.
"Yeah, she did that little happy dance when I told her," Ron added with a smirk, standing behind his mother. "Though Dad thought she was about to burn the house down–"
"Ronald!" Molly exclaimed, throwing him a mock stern look before stepping aside.
Hermione couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Sorry..." She took a deep breath, only to shake her head at the other Weasleys as they opened their arms for an embrace. "Please, no more hugs. I love you all and I appreciate the thought, but I've just escaped hell, so I need some time to get used to everything again."
"It's okay," George said, giving his younger brother a swat on the shoulder for still trying to hug her, grinning at the resulting pained yelp.
"Boys, please!" Molly said with a disbelieving sigh before she leaned towards Hermione, her gaze directed towards Hermione's office. "He doesn't look too happy."
Hermione followed Molly's gaze, only feel a pang of guilt in her chest as she saw Draco lean against the frame, watching the whole scene from afar. "It's... It's fine. Just complicated."
"He knows?"
She nodded, averting her gaze to the floor. "I wish I could tell him I'm sorry, but I'll only hurt him more with that."
"I'm sure you'll find a way." With that, Molly walked over to Draco, leaving Hermione to her own thoughts.
However, Hermione didn't really have the time to gather her thoughts, to mentally prepare for the press conference they came here for, as Harry discovered her seconds later.
"You made it," he said with a warm smile, briefly motioning in for a hug before he remembered not to. "How was your trip to Ollivander's?"
Returning his smile, she shrugged. "It's nice to have a wand again. How is... How is Ginny? I haven't seen her here."
"She'll be here for the press conference," he replied with a reassuring tone. "She was just shocked, and maybe a tiny bit disappointed, that's all."
"You talked to her–"
"Oh yes... She was even pissed at me, believe me. Just give her some time."
Hermione nodded, looking over everyone present with a shy smile, eventually arriving in Draco's corner; she was relieved to see a smile briefly brighten his otherwise sombre face, though he discreetly shook his head when Molly opened her arms for a grateful hug.
She felt like an idiot for not being able to find the words to explain why she had done what she had done, for not knowing how to apologise for all the pain she had caused and would cause. But above all, she struggled to believe that he knew and still came to her rescue, as if it didn't count for him...
"Do you feel up to sit on stage? Or do you want some Calming Draught before we leave? I think I still have some from St. Mungo's here."
"Honestly, I don't know," she replied with an unsure smile towards Harry. "But I think as long as nobody gets too close, I might be fine."
"Okay, then let's go, because they will start soon." With that, he indicated with a big wave to follow him upstairs into the biggest room available for media events.
..
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending the press conference in such a big number," Minister Shacklebolt said as he entered the stage with a professional smile, although he briefly winked at Hermione who was still standing at the side, covered by a curtain. "I won't bore you with one of my usual speeches, because no words can adequately describe the relief I felt upon hearing the best news in years. Instead, I'll give the word to Mr Potter, the Head of the Auror Department. He will also answer any questions you have."
Hermione took a deep breath, as she started to feel nervous about being presented in a matter of moments. Trembling, she reached behind her, knowing that Draco was standing there in his urge to keep an eye on her, acting like her bodyguard. She let out a small gasp when he did take her hand into his without any further comment; she had hoped for it but never thought he would actually reach out, as upset as he seemed earlier.
Focused on the feel of his hand wrapped around hers, Hermione didn't pay much attention to what Harry was telling the press crowd. It was mostly details about the whole case anyway, things she didn't necessarily need to hear again. And she didn't look forward to being presented on stage any moment now, it made her feel uneasy—the urge to just flee back to her safe place was growing with every breath she took. Even her creature wanted to flee. Only the touch of Draco's hand kept her from following the urge—and the feeling of safety and calmness it provided.
"That's your cue," Draco whispered behind her, gently nudging her.
"Wh-what?" Startled, she turned her head, only to see him nod towards the spotlight; as she followed his gaze, she could see Harry standing there with his arm stretched out and waiting for her to come on stage.
"Go."
She tried to cling on to his hand as he let go of her, but she quickly gave up and instead took a deep breath before taking a first step towards the stage. After one last look back, she put on her bravest smile and joined Harry on stage.
"You okay?" Harry asked, his voice barely audible over the many questions thrown at her by the press crowd. "It won't take long, I promise."
Clenching her jaw, which gave her smile a forced expression, she nodded. Her creature was screeching in her head, desperate to get away. The sounds and the light were almost like a déjà-vu, all that was missing was the wretched smell of blood and gore. She was glad to sit down at the small table just next to Harry, as her knees were shaking more violently the longer she stood there with all eyes on her.
"Ms Granger, you look surprisingly well given the tale of your rescue Mr Potter has just given us," a strawberry blond witch in the second row asked with a friendly but still professional smile. "How have you been since the rescue? I can imagine that settling back into your life will be hard after such an experience."
"Thanks," Hermione said, trying to sound calm. "I used the chance to sleep in and read a bit. Mr Potter won't let me return to my job anytime soon, anyway. He's not going to make an exception just because I'm one of his oldest friends..."
Harry let out a brief laugh in response to her words; it helped to ease her tension a tiny bit, and she smiled.
"Would you be able to give us a few details of your imprisonment?" a younger wizard asked in the front row, his visible press badge showed his accreditation with the Daily Prophet.
"No details about the case," Harry said before Hermione had even fully processed the question; he threw a warning glare at the Daily Prophet reporter. "The investigation is still on-going, and the details are still classified. We will inform the public about any further results in due time."
"What are your plans for now until you are allowed back to your job?" the strawberry blonde witch asked, her friendly smile unwavering as she looked at Hermione.
"I guess I have a lot of time now to finally read all those books on my list," Hermione replied, "and to bring some things in order."
Another wizard in the back raised his hand for a question, dark-haired and with olive skin. "We heard about the involvement of an outside person in the case. What can you tell us about this?"
Hermione froze in her seat as she saw the wizard stand up, thrown back into the memory of her last encounter with The Hungarian—only the voice was different, smoother and with a warmer timbre. She clung to this fact as she sat there at the conference desk, taking several deep breaths.
"You okay?" Harry asked in a whisper. "Let me know if you want to leave–"
"I'm fine," she replied with a dismissive glare, relieved as the threat of a panic attack finally ebbed away.
The reporter repeated his question, this time with a more impatient tone; Harry quickly looked over to the side where Draco was still waiting; they shared a dislike for reporters. "Yes, there was a civilian involved in the rescue of Ms Granger—an old friend who had offered his help."
Minister Shacklebolt reclaimed the lead on stage, to Harry's visible relief. "Would Mr Draco Malfoy please join us on the stage as well? His involvement has been crucial to the success of the case, and the Ministry would like to honour it."
There was a surprised murmur in the press audience, only intensifying when Draco came into the spotlight. Hermione turned around to see the men shake hands and exchange a few words of appreciation.
"Mr Malfoy," Shacklebolt continued; even Hermione now stood up in honour of the situation. "In deep appreciation of your mostly selfless commitment to do everything to find Ms Granger, the Ministry wants to award you with the Order of Merlin, First Class–"
"Minister, this... this isn't necessary," Draco protested politely, trying to hide his shocked surprise. "I just did what I had to do."
Without thinking twice, Hermione reached for his hand to stop him from fidgeting further, glad that he immediately twined his fingers with hers as he took a deep breath. In addition, the renewed skin contact helped her settle her own uneasiness that had remained after her small flashback.
"Take it," she whispered, "you've done it for all the right reasons."
"You think?"
She nodded, her lips tentatively curling into a reassuring smile. "And I'm glad you did."
..
It was already getting dark outside when Tibby tiptoed into the kitchen where Hermione was cuddled up on the corner sofa, relaxing over another Agatha Christie crime novel and a cup of tea. "Mistress?"
"Yes, Tibby?" Hermione replied without looking up. She was nearing the revelation where Poirot would reveal the murderer. She never thought that Agatha Christie would one day help her calm down after an unsettling day—but then, reading always had. That and a decent dose of the Calming Draught the Healers at St. Mungo's had prescribed her as soon as she had returned here.
"Mistress has a visitor at the door. Has red hair. Says is a friend of the Mistress."
Now Hermione looked at the house-elf standing next to the sofa. "A woman?"
The house-elf nodded. "Tibby can tell the woman to go away, that Mistress is not feeling well enough to receive anyone."
"No, no. It's okay." Unsure herself, Hermione placed the book on the small shelf space in the wall before getting up. "Let her in. Tell her I'm here."
With a relieved smile, Tibby left the kitchen again to let her visitor in.
Hermione meanwhile, got up to prepare everything for a pot of tea, wondering what Ginny might have to say. The day had unsettled her enough, especially the brief flashback that had overwhelmed her for a moment; she wasn't sure she could cope with any more unsettling situations.
"Hey..." Ginny entered the kitchen with a reluctant step, twining her fingers in front of her because she didn't know what else to do with them. "I'm sorry to come without any notice."
"It's okay. I was reading." Hermione filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove that she ignited moments later with a wave of her new wand. "Just sit down; the tea will be ready in a moment."
With a nod, Ginny walked over, opening her coat to hang it over the chair. "The place looks nice."
"Draco's idea of a safe place... Though I still want to collect some things over at my own flat." Hermione shrugged, though she couldn't help but smile briefly. The house started to feel like home now, a place she could feel safe in. "Is peppermint okay?"
Ginny nodded again, only to then put her head in her hand. "He deserved that Order of Merlin."
"You were there?" The kettle whistled, demanding Hermione's attention; moments later, she came to the table with a small tray, balancing the full pot, two mugs and whatever might be added.
"In the back. You probably didn't see me." Ginny smiled softly as Hermione sat down on the other side of the table. "Watching you sit there made me realise that I haven't been fair to you. I mean, it was a shock to hear that... that–"
"–that I am a monster?"
"Harry told me what he knew," Ginny said with a firm shake of her head. "You're not a monster. I'm really sorry that I made you think I'd considered you one. Hermione, you're still my best friend, okay? I just wish you would have told me as well, not just Harry."
A choking knot made it impossible for Hermione to respond at first, so she nodded violently. To distract herself, she reached for the pot to finally pour the tea into the mugs, after letting it brew for a few minutes."I'm sorry for that."
Ginny accepted it with a shrug. "Is... Is that why you... and Draco...?"
Again, Hermione nodded, holding the pot tight in her hands as she filled Ginny's mug. "It's complicated."
"Oh, I know. I've talked to him a few times after he joined Harry in the search... Just give him time, okay? Let him say what he needs to say... I'm sure he'll understand eventually."
"I hope so."
"He still cares a lot for you, so I'm sure he will understand. I mean, he still gave you this place, and he was at the press conference today." Smiling reassuringly, Ginny lifted her mug to her lips to have a first sip of her tea.
"I can show you around later if you want..." Hermione sipped some of her tea as well, relishing the soft taste of the peppermint tea on her tongue and the relaxing scent.
"I'd love to!" Ginny leaned back in her chair as she took another sip of her tea. "By the way, Lily wanted me to tell you that she wants to see you again. She misses playing with you, you know? She just loves all the attention she gets from you because James already has his uncles..."
"When I feel good enough again." Hermione put her mug back on the table, though she kept playing with it absent-mindedly. "Did she finish the book I gave her?"
"Twice even!"